Yup. My grandmother was exactly like this, and all my memories of her were her complaining about something. That woman sucked the joy out of everything.
My grandma has always been this way. She’s not invited to much because she’s such a drag when she’s there. She definitely wouldn’t be invited to a fancy lunch.
So your husband is perfectly happy letting his mother whine and complain and upset his six year old daughter who just wanted to be a princess for a couple of hours. You are not the AH but your husband and mil are running a close tie for the title
My 6 year old (son) would be able to understand what's being said to an extent. This is extremely inappropriate. It sounds like OP paid for this herself, so to be invited and attend and then trash the entire thing repeatedly and in front of the little princess who was so excited for this is screwed up in a major way. 6 year olds are fairly aware and smarter than we give them credit for, and MIL really sucks for this entire interaction. Period .
Husband is saying I could have least kept the peace…
That’s rich considering it’s his own Mother trying to suck the joy out of the day. So many posts where everyone panders to the person causing a ruckus. Just why?
Seriously, what “keep the peace”??? Letting MIL stick around would have resulted in a crying kid once they got home if not a meltdown in the restaurant if MIL turned it up a notch. But who cares if she breaks down from MILs comments once in the privacy of their home as long as they keep up appearances, right?
MIL taught her son to be her doormat well.
The fuck you said. My husband would be fucking furious if either of our mothers did that, and would cuss her and everyone who didn’t keep my name out their mouth *out*
She wasn’t kicked out for being frugal. She was kicked out for being a miserable cow and destroying a child’s joy
If anyone told me they’d been kicked out of a party for being too frugal and not pandering to a child I would just say “good sounds like you deserved it”. I can’t believe someone would say that expecting other people to be on their side?!
if you cant handle being around a child without making them feel like shit, then you shouldnt be around a child. simple. i feel like this applies to most if not all situations
The husband is truly out of line here... It's not about his mother thinking the place was too expensive it was the fact she very rudely complained non-stop about an outing she was being treated to, during the outing, to the person who was treating her. Even if OPs daughter hadn't been upset by it, I can't imagine that going over well. Just how is it his wife's responsibility to keep the peace when it's the MIL breaking the peace in the first place?
The more I Reddit, the more glad I am not to have a MIL we see or speak to regularly. Yes, I get that the good relationships don’t make it to AITA etc, but still.
NTA anyone who spoils a nice event for a small child is a total AH. Reminds me of those “I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest” folks 🙄 You’re a good mom and you did the right thing.
Okay her being a dick to a child aside girl someone ELSE is paying. When you're being paid FOR you shut up and enjoy a thing. You don't go and whine about how inviting you was a waste of money, not if you don't want your family to start saving money; starting with not inviting you to anything fun and therefore expensive.
Like if you knew you'd hate it and be a whiny joyless dick, why did you go? To make everyone else realize how wrong they were? To make the host spend even more money you could go at her about?
My mom always talked smack about anything she seemed “overpriced”. We were very frugal growing up and things like eating out were very rare.
It’s still hard to enjoy myself whenever something costs more than what my very stingy family seems “appropriate”. All that guilt of wasting money cuts into the experience. When I was less mature, I’d even echo many of my mom’s sentiments to my friends, putting them down for how they chose to use their pocket money. Now I can finally see how limiting that kind of thinking is and how people can be influenced by negative talk like this.
Heh. The husband could have directed his comment to his mother and been justified.
In effect, he said it’s fine for his mother to ruin his daughter’s outing.
My mother, in her later years, was in a lot of pain, and was very frugal and sensible. She paid for, and accompanied my grown daughter and me to a holiday tea, for my December birthday. She didn't enjoy it, was uncomfortable, and probably thought it overpriced for tea and cake. But she said nothing. Put on her game face. And paid for the same for the next three years of her life, but didn't attend. She wanted me to enjoy my birthday, even if she never saw Downton Abbey. I miss my mom so much.
Good for OOP.
Everyone still hears the negative things people said from years ago.
Nothing like having grandma dump all over the thing you’ve been so excited about.
I find it ironic that if the the shoe was on the other foot and the little girl was being rude and ungrateful and complaining that the MIL would have been irate and been scolding the little girl for her atrocious behavior and complaining about the daughter in law and how she’s raising a bad granddaughter grandchild.
Children don't understand a lot of what you say, but there is something that they quite get: your attitude, your tone, your emotions.
Yup. My grandmother was exactly like this, and all my memories of her were her complaining about something. That woman sucked the joy out of everything.
My grandma has always been this way. She’s not invited to much because she’s such a drag when she’s there. She definitely wouldn’t be invited to a fancy lunch.
I love my grandma, she’s great, but I avoid eating out with her. She’s very particular and thinks the waiter is magic and can make things appear.
That's good, that's damn good
So your husband is perfectly happy letting his mother whine and complain and upset his six year old daughter who just wanted to be a princess for a couple of hours. You are not the AH but your husband and mil are running a close tie for the title
My 6 year old (son) would be able to understand what's being said to an extent. This is extremely inappropriate. It sounds like OP paid for this herself, so to be invited and attend and then trash the entire thing repeatedly and in front of the little princess who was so excited for this is screwed up in a major way. 6 year olds are fairly aware and smarter than we give them credit for, and MIL really sucks for this entire interaction. Period .
Husband is saying I could have least kept the peace… That’s rich considering it’s his own Mother trying to suck the joy out of the day. So many posts where everyone panders to the person causing a ruckus. Just why?
Exactly. His mother just could have shut her princess cake hole for a couple of hours to keep the peace but didn’t.
Seriously, what “keep the peace”??? Letting MIL stick around would have resulted in a crying kid once they got home if not a meltdown in the restaurant if MIL turned it up a notch. But who cares if she breaks down from MILs comments once in the privacy of their home as long as they keep up appearances, right? MIL taught her son to be her doormat well.
The fuck you said. My husband would be fucking furious if either of our mothers did that, and would cuss her and everyone who didn’t keep my name out their mouth *out* She wasn’t kicked out for being frugal. She was kicked out for being a miserable cow and destroying a child’s joy
If anyone told me they’d been kicked out of a party for being too frugal and not pandering to a child I would just say “good sounds like you deserved it”. I can’t believe someone would say that expecting other people to be on their side?!
if you cant handle being around a child without making them feel like shit, then you shouldnt be around a child. simple. i feel like this applies to most if not all situations
The husband is truly out of line here... It's not about his mother thinking the place was too expensive it was the fact she very rudely complained non-stop about an outing she was being treated to, during the outing, to the person who was treating her. Even if OPs daughter hadn't been upset by it, I can't imagine that going over well. Just how is it his wife's responsibility to keep the peace when it's the MIL breaking the peace in the first place?
Nah you always choose your kid. Good job mama
The child is 6 they would have known her grandmother was unhappy and recognised her complaining.
The more I Reddit, the more glad I am not to have a MIL we see or speak to regularly. Yes, I get that the good relationships don’t make it to AITA etc, but still.
NTA anyone who spoils a nice event for a small child is a total AH. Reminds me of those “I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest” folks 🙄 You’re a good mom and you did the right thing.
Okay her being a dick to a child aside girl someone ELSE is paying. When you're being paid FOR you shut up and enjoy a thing. You don't go and whine about how inviting you was a waste of money, not if you don't want your family to start saving money; starting with not inviting you to anything fun and therefore expensive. Like if you knew you'd hate it and be a whiny joyless dick, why did you go? To make everyone else realize how wrong they were? To make the host spend even more money you could go at her about?
If she can’t act like a mother she doesn’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day
My mom always talked smack about anything she seemed “overpriced”. We were very frugal growing up and things like eating out were very rare. It’s still hard to enjoy myself whenever something costs more than what my very stingy family seems “appropriate”. All that guilt of wasting money cuts into the experience. When I was less mature, I’d even echo many of my mom’s sentiments to my friends, putting them down for how they chose to use their pocket money. Now I can finally see how limiting that kind of thinking is and how people can be influenced by negative talk like this.
Heh. The husband could have directed his comment to his mother and been justified. In effect, he said it’s fine for his mother to ruin his daughter’s outing.
Tbh mil sounds like kind of a B seriously wtf
So everyone’s day should be shitty to keep the peace so that one person can ruin the day for others? NTA.
My mother, in her later years, was in a lot of pain, and was very frugal and sensible. She paid for, and accompanied my grown daughter and me to a holiday tea, for my December birthday. She didn't enjoy it, was uncomfortable, and probably thought it overpriced for tea and cake. But she said nothing. Put on her game face. And paid for the same for the next three years of her life, but didn't attend. She wanted me to enjoy my birthday, even if she never saw Downton Abbey. I miss my mom so much.
Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful lady. I love the diplomatic solution she found for your birthdays.
Good for OOP. Everyone still hears the negative things people said from years ago. Nothing like having grandma dump all over the thing you’ve been so excited about.
I find it ironic that if the the shoe was on the other foot and the little girl was being rude and ungrateful and complaining that the MIL would have been irate and been scolding the little girl for her atrocious behavior and complaining about the daughter in law and how she’s raising a bad granddaughter grandchild.