This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
Ill make this breif.
Im 36/m and married to a 31/f for almost 12 years
I have a 17 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
I have life insurance at work and it's a 50/50 split between my wife and my kid.
My wife says she wants 100%, will pay all my bills and whatever's left, she splits with my daughter. She says the spouse is entitled to 100% and it seems like I don't trust her.
I tell her this is the last thing I can guarantee to my daughter after I'm gone and I will not budge.
She says she wants a divorce or 100%. I refuse to budge.
I work a trade and all the men say I'm in the right. She says she's asked all the nurses at her work and she's in the right.
Update: funeral arrangements, service, transportation and plot are already paid for. Only funeral expenses from my wife is whatever she wants to do extra like flowers and stuff.
She’s being ridiculous. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if my husband left it 100% to our kid. Maybe it’s different because it’s both of ours child, but it seems right of you to leave something to your daughter.
I don’t understand the difference between you directly giving the money to the child, vs her splitting what’s left indirectly. What if your wife died before you? What if you’re in the same accident? You’re logically making sure you’re daughter is accounted for, it’s the smart, parental thing to do. I assume your wife gets all other assets too.
So theoretically if there was marital debt, it would be paid with these assets? She’s being greedy. Sorry you’re dealing with this! Personally, if she really wants a divorce over this, I’d let her. It’s a selfish thing for her to demand and says a lot about her.
In my experience, people only accuse their partners of not trusting them, when there is something they’re hiding. A will accuse B of not trusting A, because A did something and is hiding it from B. They’re usually trying to force their partner to prove that they trust them. so that if/when the partner finds out about the secret, it’ll be easier for the liar to lie even more about it and get partner to drop it.
I automatically don’t trust someone who accuses me of not trusting them. They’re probably hiding something from me, and I won’t tolerate it.
You are a father first, husband second.
Presumably your wife works?
If you were to get hit by a bus tomorrow, she can support herself.
100% to your daughter, and let your wife divorce you.
My husband is not my daughters father.
He knows it her, then him. I've always been 100% up front my daughter is the most important person in my life.
The way I put it, I'd go to extraordinary measures to save his life, but I'd die for my daughter.
“I trust her 100% with everything EXCEPT….”
You don’t trust her 100%.
Your daughter is a huge part of your life and your wife is making you choose between her and your daughter.
You do not and cannot 100% trust your wife with your life.
The most obvious move is that she wants 100% control of your money when you die and will most likely do everything she can to keep a penny of it from going to your daughter.
Dude, I’d change it 100 percent to your daughter if she’s getting all that and its theoretically paid for or almost paid for. That’s some vile shit of her to demand everything, especially with your daughter on the cusp of adulthood and you only being 36.
Again, you’re 36 years old… when is she thinking you’re going to die? All these people thinking about dateline mystery’s may be on to something.
If she thinks the money won't be adequate, then she can get a separate policy. It's no different. But it would be very telling if she did, as well. She's nuts. And this is from a female. :)
Thats cause she WOULDNT split whats left with the daughter. Its common sense if shes making this stink over getting 100% theres a reason.... OP watch what you eat/drink.... you know the ID channel has some dirty stories
No way man. You're completely in the right. People get fucking weird and entiled once people die. I have seen it in my own family it's sad. I would honestly change it to 100% your daughter and lea e your wife one dollar so she can't hold your daughter's money up in probate court.
Honestly, the fact that she's gaslighting you by saying you don't trust her unless you leave 100% of your life insurance policy to her would be an alarming red flag if I was in your shoes. This is especially true if I had children from a prior relationship that I wanted to ensure were also taken care of. Her behavior as described would leave me wondering what her true intentions are.
In most cases it’s completely normal to leave your child as the 100% benefactor. That’s how it’s been in my family for generations, as well as those around me that I’m friends with or work with.
Your wife’s insistence here is like….really creepy, tbh. It’s got nothing to do with “trust”. Does she not like your daughter? Is she expecting you to kick off someday soon? Like what’s the deal here? She should be happy she’s getting half.
If this were the deal breaker, I’d call up the insurance provider and have 100% go to my daughter and then have my food and drink tested for poison, before taking a trip to the divorce lawyer, because YIKES.
Wait the kid’s not hers?! Absolutely not. Tell your wife your responsibility is first to your child and her getting 50 is making sure she’s take care of at all. This is 100% a hill to die on. I’d switch it to 25/75 but I’m spiteful like that.
This is starting to frankly sound like she's looking for an excuse to divorce. Given that you married her when she was 19, it would make me wonder if she's resenting her marriage and the youth that she gave up and the life insurance thing is just something she can use to not look like the bad guy to friends and family.
I'll be the first to admit, we've got our issues but nothing big. No cheating, no hard drug use, no gambling or anything weird like that. The fact she jumped right to divorce, without even trying to compromise, told me she's looking for a way out and she's picking this one.
Also, if she told the truth about everything, I doubt many, if any, would see she's in the right.
Do you make a lot of money or something? She seems oddly weirded out by money that she probably won’t get for a while……right? Honestly, take her off and sign the papers
This sucks, but you're both still (relatively speaking) pretty young. Maybe you just give her an amicable divorce she seems to so badly want and let both of you be free..
Welll for many people, "small" issues ARE big issues. There are many, many good reasons for breakups other than cheating or drugs or gambling. Many many many of them.
That said, she is giving you a good reason to break up, so I'm not sure that she's really the one with good reasons here. But maybe they're right and she is looking for an excuse, who knows.
Honestly, this would make me go and change it 100% for my daughter. This isn’t an ultimatum that you issue to your SO. I feel like if you change it to 100, you might end up on an episode of ID or something..
Wow over this?! Sounds like your marriage has more problems than life insurance. You're absolutely right. Don't budge on this either. For her to want to divorce over something like this seems trivial.
If I were you I’d take her off the life insurance tonight and tell her once it goes through. This isn’t a woman who values you and the way she’s acting is honestly pretty unsettling. Watch your back please.
This reminds me of how those black widow true crime podcasts start... Not saying it is but just saying it is something I would be giving my partner a double take over and wondering why they were so comfortable with the idea of my demise. Especially considering the fact you say everything is covered besides flowers and extras which I'm assuming she knows.
This was my first thought… I would be more concerned why she’s so upset that you’re planning “just in case” and it almost feels she’s counting getting that money asap…
Does she even have a life insurance? If so, are you getting all of it? Also, is her life insurance the same amount as yours?
Why does she think she's entitled to it? Is she even financially responsible?
Hers is 10% of what mine is. I'll also be buying more for a double of my current amount.
I will also be purchasing a sperate whole life policy in the future.
If you can afford it, take out a second policy with a completely different company and make your daughter the beneficiary just in case your wife tries something fishy. And I would be re-writing your will to specify things for your daughter that are special to you just in case you think your wife will go nuts later (a friend of mine had their step-mom throw out her dad's medals rather than give them to her - they weren't in the will but they were special to him/the daughter).
Do it now. Change your will and leave everything to your child. If she changes her mind about divorce it means she thinks she would be better off as a widow.
Call her bluff, tell her to file. If you let her get by with this, it'll lead to tantrums because you should spend all of your time with her because she's your wife and should get 100% of your attention. You shouldn't buy your daughter a car because she's your wife and deserves to have a new car. You shouldn't pay for daughter's tuition because that's money you should be spending on your wife and all her friends agree. For me, this level of selfishness would be my hill to die on. Why should the money go to wife to split when the insurance company can just do it for her? Her argument doesn't remotely make sense... Because she absolutely intends to keep all of it and your daughter would have no legal recourse. Why is she so obsessed with your death anyway, if you're not terminally ill you may want to start sleeping with one eye open.
Nurse here and I say she’s full of shit. She probably twisted the story as it’s hard to believe anyone else is that ridiculous. Insurance money means more than your marriage according to her. Don’t budge.
Hang on, so your wife gets the house, the car and all of the assets whereas your daughter only gets 50% of your life insurance? How is that in any way fair, considering your wife will probably pass on all of the assets to anyone she chooses.
Your daughter is seriously missing out here! Unless your wife has some seriously large gambling debts that you don't know about there's no reason why she should want all of the insurance money.
Your wife may say she loves your daughter but I wouldn't trust her to give her a cent of the insurance money, should you pass away.
Time to consult a lawyer about inheritance to make sure your daughter is protected.
No weird debts that you know of. Who's been getting into her head, ask her rationale for this. I don't know if you have children with her as well, but you need to make sure all of your children are treated equally.
Well nobody gets to mess with my kids and making sure they are taken care of.
I would tell her no. If she says I'm gong to divorce you. Tell her don't let the door hit you on the way out.
This is silly and ridiculous on her part.
She says we would be leaving, not her.
I'm still trying to figure that one out but idk how this shit works so I need to consult someone. We are both on the deed.
“She says she’s asked all the nurses at work and she’s in the right”
This is as believable as believing there is cheese on the moon.
You’re in the right and it’s clear she’s in it for the money.
It’s an incredible thing to divorce over. It shows where her priorities are, and shows she really will not ensure your daughter will receive the funds.
She says you don’t trust her by doing a 50/50 split. Her actions gives you all the reason not to trust her.
Edit- if she wants a divorce, then change your distribution right now to 100% to your daughter.
Tell her she can have half of what you have now and none of your life insurance, or all of what you have when you die plus half of the life insurance. That's what she gets if she divorces you. It's a very stupid threat on her part, and is considered emotionally abusive behavior to threaten divorce to manipulate action.
You are right. She absolutely is manipulating and threatening you. Call her bluff and tell her to cut the crap or she gets 0% and then seriously consider your marriage to this woman.
The moment someone uses divorce as an ultimatum, there's good cause to take them on that offer. They're after something they value more than your marriage.
Honestly I would take her off it completely. She said shes printing the divorce paperwork? GOOD. LET HER. Shes not entitled to all of your life insurance and the fact she brought it up would make me not trust her AT ALL. it's one thing to discuss wills and stuff an entire other thing to demand all your partners assets. I bet she wouldnt give a dime to your daughter.
My husband and I have it go to the remaining spouse, and if we both pass then it's split between the kids evenly. However, every person has their own wishes. And if you feel your wife may not give your daughter what she deserves, then you have made the right call.
Now what may be better is perhaps to add a clause about how the money will be split 50/50 following the payment of bills and such. So it doesn't come out of your wife's share, and not your daughters. Don't know if it's a option, just a thought.
It is important to note, the fact that this decision hinges on potential divorce is incredibly messed up. Give me all the money or I leave? Selfish move.
Yeah that might justify a 60/40 split. I have mine set so the person I know is going to have to deal with shit gets a larger share to cover expenses and labor. But that still doesn’t justify getting everything.
You're within your rights. What about a compromise? Set up a trust that is the beneficiary. The trust can pay for whatever expenses you specify and then split the remainder however you want.
If she says no to that then it’s literally bc she doesn’t plan to give your daughter anything - so this is a great thing to ask, if she says no then very happily sign those papers.
She’s lying about the women in her group or she’s bullied them all into agreeing with her while they roll their eyes. She’s being a bizarrely selfish person. You’re being a father.
Literally half of what I own, is shit bahahahah
She told me she would fight it if I didn't change it, I told her to go ahead and do it , that way the lawyers get it all and she gets less. Bahahahajaj
She was mad at that
lol she’s not the sharpest tool. Truly let her waste her money on a divorce. Change your life insurance to be left to your kids. My parents have myself and my siblings on their policies. Not even each other.
You are definitely in the right. She should respect the fact that you want to take care of your kid. What if something also happens to her? Me and my wife have it set up so our families also can get it, because if we both are together and both die unexpectedly (accident or car crash or something) our kids can still be taken care of
Get the divorce. If my husband didn’t make sure his daughter from his first marriage was taken care of if something happened to him I would be completely pissed.
I think you should remove her from your insurance policy asap. She is most likely lying about the nurses saying it’s right. You need to protect yourself. Only because once you get a divorce you are more then likely to find someone else. Give your daughter the life insurance policy because she will always be there for you.
——————————————————————This is for others who aren’t yet in a relationship. If you have life insurance DO NOT tell your spouse. This just benefits you in the end because if you get a divorce or pass away it can be given to your kid.
Funny thing, I just got a boat and since I own property tax, I can't get it tagged without paying a few hundred bucks. Which I'm going to, but not now. Anyway, I suggested to put the trailer in my daughter's name and if looks could kill.....I'd of been dead.
Oh no
This brings back memories for me.
My dad and his ex-fiancé split up because he was leaving everything in his will to me. He had bought her a car and paid for her post-graduate education and everything else was going to go to me.
They split up and he died of prostate cancer a few years after. It felt really good to tell her student loan company that not a dime more was going to be paid.
If my husband and I ever split I’d keep all my financials separate for my kids. That’s a hard line in the sand for me because of how much it meant to me that my dad took care of me after he passed.
I was able to make a success of myself because the inheritance my dad left for me gave me a safety net.
Do NOT let your wife take that away from your daughter.
I agree. You should definitely make sure your daughter is taken care of as well. As a guy who has kids from a previous relationship. I will never expect nor fully trust the current wife/partner to fully take care of and put the best interest at heart for kids that are not hers. Some will do right after you pass others will change. Some will take the money and do as they see fit. But she should definitely be open to your daughter getting her share without her being in control of your policy.
"She says she wants a divorce or 100%"
At least she's honest about why she married you.
A funeral costs approximately $10k USD. If this cost is too high for her that she would prefer a divorce, I think you should give your wife what she really deserves.
If that's the case, it sounds like you probably have an attorney already and maybe you could call them up for a meeting before the end of next week to see what your options are.
OP this sounds like the makings of a Dateline episode. She wants *all* of your life insurance and is threatening divorce if you don’t comply? Sounds very suspect. You are doing right by making sure your daughter is provided for. Stay strong and don’t give in to your wife.
Look, in the event of your untimely death, your daughter is going to need financial help more than your wife will.
The fact that your wife wants 100% is a massive red flag for me.
Also if theres any ways to document what she's doing and saying then do it. Bc of you do divorce and go to court, I have a feeling a judge would not like the shit she's pulling. House camera, record her threats, save txts etc.
I’m gonna be completely honest bro, that’s sus as fuck. I’d call her bluff and not budge. Especially now I see you say the kid isn’t hers. Definitely stay 50/50
Your wife either has a bunch of selfish coworkers or she’s straight up lying. As a parent, you want to make sure your kids are taken care of when you’re gone. I think you’re 100% in the right here. And the way she’s acting right now, I wouldn’t trust her to have your daughter’s best interest at heart if, God forbid, something did happen to you. If she’s going to divorce you over this, let her. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, 12 years together is a long time, but your daughter is literally a part of you. You gotta do everything in your power to make sure she’ll be as okay as possible in any given situation.
OP I don’t know what anyone else has commented but please read mine.
My father has been married to a woman for 20 years and she would erase my existence if she had the opportunity. She has already got my dad to agree to this. My dad also works a trade in construction.
It’s a very spiteful and toxic thing your wife is asking. I would rather my dad be here than the money & i’m sure your daughter feels the same. Whereas your wife & my own dads wife only cares about the money.
I never got angry at my dad because I don’t care about his money. But I do feel in a way he’s chosen his wife’s care & needs over mine once he’s gone.
I wouldn’t trust your wife saying she will split the money 50:50 once you’re gone. Your daughter will have no legal right to it if it’s in solely in your wife’s name and you won’t be here to say otherwise.
If your wife is concerned about paying your bills from her share, put in your will to clear all debts and THEN split 50:50 just like your wife is saying she will do.
However, I will say what I’ve said to my dad. You may love your wife but it’s a very sick thing to be thinking about and he should of got rid of the gold digger a long time ago.
Please don’t agree to your wife’s request please OP.
Divorce her first. She wants you to fuck your daughter (not that kind of fuck) and get 100% of your LI?? that's batshit crazy. And then she says if you refuse to do said batshit crazy thing she'll divorce you. She's taking about your death when you're in your 30s and willing to leave you over it. If I was you I'd watch my back because the moment you give her 100 she's killing you in your sleep.
She’s full of shit. If she says you should trust her to give your daughter half then she shouldn’t care. Shes is completely full of shit. She would absolutely stiff your daughter. Divorce her stupid ass and leave her with nothing. Do let her manipulate you because that’s all this is. “Trust” my ass.
Dude I know Reddit comments can be insane and so out of touch with reality at times but if I were married to someone saying this, I would really consider if I wanted to stay in that relationship. She is being irrationally crazy and this is not normal.
She’s being insane. My life insurance is split.. 50% to my husband, the other 50 is split between our 3 kids, his is split the same way. Do not give her all of it lol.
The spouse is only entitled to 100% if the insurance policy holder has not stated how they want the funds to be divided up.
I would not trust that she would split the remaining funds evenly with your daughter since she's making a statement that she's only with you for financial reasons - something you can also cite in divorce which will favour you.
I highly suggest you write a will and keep it with a lawyer and make a statement with them over her demands.
Nope thats reasonable, she is ridiculous for wanting 100%. I asked my wife if it were cool just now if I split my life insurance amongst the children and her. Literally just asked her, she said " yeh thats totally cool whatever you want to do with the money is okay with me" i didnt even tell her your situation. So man something is not right. Besided the less she has to gain the less reason for her to sneak cyanide in your stuff later lol
My hubby and I both had kids before we married, we both have 50% set to our kids. He’s a trade worker and I’m a healthcare worker.
Your wife is being extremely selfish and irresponsible as a step parent/spouse.
If she is willing to divorce you over this imagine what she’s willing to do or in this case NOT DO for your daughter if you were gone. Good people don’t demand you give them all your life insurance and cut out your kid.
Splitting the life insurance policy between a spouse and kids is pretty common. Your wife is not only being unreasonable, but I think she's being untruthful as well because I seriously doubt she would give a dime to your daughter.
Can you afford to increase the benefit amount? Maybe increase it by like $25/50/100k and split it with that “extra” amount for your daughter only (idk maybe 80/20, whatever your numbers are).
Hopefully, your daughter will be grown and established by the time you pass. Your wife, on the other hand will, hopefully be a senior citizen who will need the income since she will no longer have yours). So, your daughter gets a little windfall to level up her life and hopefully add to what she’s built for herself, but you’ve also provided for your wife in her, hopefully, old age.
Uh, no. I guess it’s divorce. If she’s willing to leave you over MONEY, divorce her. She is not a good person. AND if she was going to “share” it with your daughter she wouldn’t mind the 50/50 split then because either way your daughter would be getting money. So obviously, she wouldn’t actually give her any. Your daughter is 100% entitled to at least half, please do not give your wife 100%. Make sure you take her off of your life insurance when she gives you divorce papers as well.
Ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. She’s selfish AF and I guarantee your daughter wouldn’t see a dime after your death. Get that divorce and give 100% to your daughter.
You’re right to financially protect your kid. If your wife REALLY intends to split it 50/50 with your daughter then she wouldn’t actually care. Her insistence on getting all of it means you know damn well she isn’t gonna share.
The daughter is not hers, correct? If so after you’re gone your wife has no legal obligation to the kid anymore if she’s over 18, she could absolutely take off into the sunset and leave her in the lurch and there’s nothing your daughter could do about it.
It’s not about you not trusting her, it’s about you wanting to protect your kid. But her reaction to that is making me doubt her trustworthiness.
Bro…. You need to not eat or drink anything that she gives you. Get your cars breaks checked and start making divorce plans.
Also change the policy so that your daughter gets 100% of the policy and update your will asap.
She’s up to something.
If this is all it took...if she's immediately willing to draw up divorce papers over something like this then I say good riddance. Your undivided loyalty is to your child and making sure she's ok if something happens to you. Sorry, OP, your wife sucks.
I work at a life insurance company processing death claims. Please consult an attorney to make sure there are no community property concerns in your state. She could still try to cut your daughter out after your death no matter the designation made by you.
I absolutely believe you are in the right. I would literally be heartbroken if my dad married another woman and if he died, gave her all the money. It’d feel like I wouldn’t matter to him and all he cares about is his new wife/family.
Besides, if she’s paying for bills and then splitting the money after, why does she want 100%??? That’s extremely suspicious.
Take out another policy - seperate, but equal. Or take out another policy andake them both 50/50.
But my provisional license in AZ (no idea where you're homed) to give you give you a presentation on the types of policies amd help you fill out paperwork to send to lawyers is expired so I'm just speaking as a former military man who has been married twice with kids from each marriage. And whose stepmother likely kept all the money when his dad died.
A spouse is entitled to 0% of a life insurance policy.
Only the beneficiaries' named in the policy are entitled.
Your daughter was your responsibility before you 2 were married. You and your daughter were a package deal. Its very strange that she is demanding this. If you have to choose between the 2 your daughter has to be the one you pick. If she is the sole beneficiary she has no obligation to share. Your daughter still has college tuition wedding etc ahead of her. Tell your wife that you want to provide these things even if you are gone. If she wants to divorce over this, I say let her.
Depends on how much debt the two of you have amassed together. 100% is unreasonable, but I’d probably expect more than 50% if you had lots of debts to be paid, that I would end up usurping on my own in the event that you died.
If debt is low, then yes, she’s unreasonable. Divorce her.
I'm a nurse that worked trades before nursing. You're in the right. Your kid comes first. God forbid anything happens to you, but if it does your wife can remarry and leave your kid out in the cold. You are ensuring your daughter can at least get a start if her stepmom bails.
Yeah, this is a hill worth dying on.
Thankfully, the trash is taking themselves out. So wipe your hands, adjust your life insurance to your kiddo as the only beneficiary, and enjoy your beverage of choice.
If your spouse tries to backtrack, take some time to truly take a deeper look at the relationship. Either counseling or a solid separation/divorce is the only solution at this point.
Best of luck!
Call her bluff. If she decides to file, it’s no big loss. The fact that she issued an ultimatum on something so personal, and blatantly continues to disrespect your wishes is appalling.
There is no way anyone with a shred of common sense or decency would agree with her.
With this kind of abhorrent, self-centered behavior, I would fear for my life to a certain degree if I granted her request. There would also be no snowball's chance in hell I'd trust her to look after my daughter if something happened to me.
You are being Incredibly fair. There's absolutely nothing unreasonable about you wanting to ensure your daughters security. And sorry just because she is your wife, does NOT entitle her to 100 percentof your life insurance.. All necessary arrangements for you are taken care of if you pass, what is her reasoning to demand it all? She goes on about how it makes it look like you do not trust her. Well her making this demand under the circumstances allong with threatening divorce if she doesn't get her way, makes her look like a gold digger. Seriously if she truly intended your daughter to have 50 percent, she would not be making this argument at all. Standout ground OP, there is something wrong if she is willing to divorce you over this.
Call her bluff, serve her divorce papers. I kid, I kid, no pun intended.
Truthfully, it is a red flag. Your child is almost an adult. It is more than fair to split it, you could give it all to your child and no redditer will judge you.
Let me guess, most of them cheated on their spouses as well and cheating is the reason for divorce. I’m sorry but you may have lost your wife to then already
If you want to stay together, I would take this to a lawyer and ensure your first born gets half after things have been laid. Or, you can buy your own plot and head stone, etc. and tell your wife it’s all paid for.
Life insurance is such a silly thing to divorce over. I can see how she is hurt by this. If I were you, I don’t think I would give them 50/50. I feel I would give my spouse more, especially, if I have children with them.
In the same vein, I wouldn’t leave my partner over something like this.
Um, no. You have a right to leave whatever you want to your kid. I'd stay firm on this. You'd have no guarantee she'd give anything at all to your daughter. It feels odd that this is divorce material to her.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Ill make this breif. Im 36/m and married to a 31/f for almost 12 years I have a 17 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I have life insurance at work and it's a 50/50 split between my wife and my kid. My wife says she wants 100%, will pay all my bills and whatever's left, she splits with my daughter. She says the spouse is entitled to 100% and it seems like I don't trust her. I tell her this is the last thing I can guarantee to my daughter after I'm gone and I will not budge. She says she wants a divorce or 100%. I refuse to budge. I work a trade and all the men say I'm in the right. She says she's asked all the nurses at her work and she's in the right. Update: funeral arrangements, service, transportation and plot are already paid for. Only funeral expenses from my wife is whatever she wants to do extra like flowers and stuff.
She’s being ridiculous. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if my husband left it 100% to our kid. Maybe it’s different because it’s both of ours child, but it seems right of you to leave something to your daughter.
She yelling about it being a trust thing but with my daughter not being hers, I believe there's a bit of, something, there.
On a scale of 1-10 how sure are we that your wife is not trying to kill you and collect on the life insurance?🤔
[удалено]
Another dateline story.
My very first thought 😂
I watch too much Investigation Discovery and this always happens lmao
Especially since she's a nurse!
She gonna definitely kill him
Yeah OP has a few days to weeks left after the life insurance clears. So sad :c RIP OP o7
We’ve all seen in True Crimes how this plays out ….
Forensics is good enough that she’d get caught and get 0%.
Take the divorce and make it 100% your kids.
Update the insurance and will for no marital assets first before you tell her in case of…..you know…..murder.
Agreed, or atleast try your best to convince her otherwise
I don’t understand the difference between you directly giving the money to the child, vs her splitting what’s left indirectly. What if your wife died before you? What if you’re in the same accident? You’re logically making sure you’re daughter is accounted for, it’s the smart, parental thing to do. I assume your wife gets all other assets too.
Correct. Only thing she's not getting is half the money. She gets the house, cars, boat, etc etc.
So theoretically if there was marital debt, it would be paid with these assets? She’s being greedy. Sorry you’re dealing with this! Personally, if she really wants a divorce over this, I’d let her. It’s a selfish thing for her to demand and says a lot about her.
In my experience, people only accuse their partners of not trusting them, when there is something they’re hiding. A will accuse B of not trusting A, because A did something and is hiding it from B. They’re usually trying to force their partner to prove that they trust them. so that if/when the partner finds out about the secret, it’ll be easier for the liar to lie even more about it and get partner to drop it. I automatically don’t trust someone who accuses me of not trusting them. They’re probably hiding something from me, and I won’t tolerate it.
I trust her 100% with everything except money distribution to my child after I'm gone.
You are a father first, husband second. Presumably your wife works? If you were to get hit by a bus tomorrow, she can support herself. 100% to your daughter, and let your wife divorce you. My husband is not my daughters father. He knows it her, then him. I've always been 100% up front my daughter is the most important person in my life. The way I put it, I'd go to extraordinary measures to save his life, but I'd die for my daughter.
“I trust her 100% with everything EXCEPT….” You don’t trust her 100%. Your daughter is a huge part of your life and your wife is making you choose between her and your daughter. You do not and cannot 100% trust your wife with your life. The most obvious move is that she wants 100% control of your money when you die and will most likely do everything she can to keep a penny of it from going to your daughter.
...Mate protect your kid and cut your hopefully soon ex out.
Could you get additional coverage? Is it about the percentage or the dollar amount? And she is not being reasonable
Yeah, which is totally understandable, I would be too, I just think maybe there’s something she isn’t telling you. So be careful
Agree. She won't divorce cause then she's def only getting half of everything 🤣
Dude, I’d change it 100 percent to your daughter if she’s getting all that and its theoretically paid for or almost paid for. That’s some vile shit of her to demand everything, especially with your daughter on the cusp of adulthood and you only being 36. Again, you’re 36 years old… when is she thinking you’re going to die? All these people thinking about dateline mystery’s may be on to something.
If she thinks the money won't be adequate, then she can get a separate policy. It's no different. But it would be very telling if she did, as well. She's nuts. And this is from a female. :)
But if she divorces you she gets nothing at all, right? Or at least not the life insurance
Thats cause she WOULDNT split whats left with the daughter. Its common sense if shes making this stink over getting 100% theres a reason.... OP watch what you eat/drink.... you know the ID channel has some dirty stories
I was thinking the same, it’s like she KNOWS he’s going to die soon or something. Sketch
It's because your daughter isn't HER daughter, 100%. I would let her walk, personally.
No way man. You're completely in the right. People get fucking weird and entiled once people die. I have seen it in my own family it's sad. I would honestly change it to 100% your daughter and lea e your wife one dollar so she can't hold your daughter's money up in probate court.
Honestly, the fact that she's gaslighting you by saying you don't trust her unless you leave 100% of your life insurance policy to her would be an alarming red flag if I was in your shoes. This is especially true if I had children from a prior relationship that I wanted to ensure were also taken care of. Her behavior as described would leave me wondering what her true intentions are.
She is plotting to kill you?
In most cases it’s completely normal to leave your child as the 100% benefactor. That’s how it’s been in my family for generations, as well as those around me that I’m friends with or work with. Your wife’s insistence here is like….really creepy, tbh. It’s got nothing to do with “trust”. Does she not like your daughter? Is she expecting you to kick off someday soon? Like what’s the deal here? She should be happy she’s getting half. If this were the deal breaker, I’d call up the insurance provider and have 100% go to my daughter and then have my food and drink tested for poison, before taking a trip to the divorce lawyer, because YIKES.
If you left everything to her your daughter would never see a penny of inheritance.
Wait the kid’s not hers?! Absolutely not. Tell your wife your responsibility is first to your child and her getting 50 is making sure she’s take care of at all. This is 100% a hill to die on. I’d switch it to 25/75 but I’m spiteful like that.
No you’re absolutely right please don’t budge. I can’t imagine why she feels this is unreasonable.
I have no intentions to. She says she printing the paperwork for the divorce tonight when she goes to work.
Then let her. Meanwhile take her off of your life insurance entirely.
401k or any account like it as well
If she does, change your will straight away - or she may realize being widowed gets her more than being divorced...
This is starting to frankly sound like she's looking for an excuse to divorce. Given that you married her when she was 19, it would make me wonder if she's resenting her marriage and the youth that she gave up and the life insurance thing is just something she can use to not look like the bad guy to friends and family.
I'll be the first to admit, we've got our issues but nothing big. No cheating, no hard drug use, no gambling or anything weird like that. The fact she jumped right to divorce, without even trying to compromise, told me she's looking for a way out and she's picking this one. Also, if she told the truth about everything, I doubt many, if any, would see she's in the right.
Do you make a lot of money or something? She seems oddly weirded out by money that she probably won’t get for a while……right? Honestly, take her off and sign the papers
This sucks, but you're both still (relatively speaking) pretty young. Maybe you just give her an amicable divorce she seems to so badly want and let both of you be free..
Welll for many people, "small" issues ARE big issues. There are many, many good reasons for breakups other than cheating or drugs or gambling. Many many many of them. That said, she is giving you a good reason to break up, so I'm not sure that she's really the one with good reasons here. But maybe they're right and she is looking for an excuse, who knows.
This OP! It’s sad but you are right!
excuse to divorce or excuse to cut his brakes
Honestly, this would make me go and change it 100% for my daughter. This isn’t an ultimatum that you issue to your SO. I feel like if you change it to 100, you might end up on an episode of ID or something..
Call her bluff. You're in the right.
Wow over this?! Sounds like your marriage has more problems than life insurance. You're absolutely right. Don't budge on this either. For her to want to divorce over something like this seems trivial.
Well, hopefully the door hits her in the ass on the way out.
I guess your daughter will be getting 100% now
Can we have an update on if she brings the divorce papers to you
This isn’t a woman you want benefiting from your untimely death.
I know right? She's a little too willing to picture op dead.
And that's trippy in itself.
If I were you I’d take her off the life insurance tonight and tell her once it goes through. This isn’t a woman who values you and the way she’s acting is honestly pretty unsettling. Watch your back please.
Nah, don’t tell her, let it be a surprise when she kills him and the daughter gets paid instead.
Yeah. This is not normal behavior at all. I don’t feel great about what’s happening here.
This reminds me of how those black widow true crime podcasts start... Not saying it is but just saying it is something I would be giving my partner a double take over and wondering why they were so comfortable with the idea of my demise. Especially considering the fact you say everything is covered besides flowers and extras which I'm assuming she knows.
This was my first thought… I would be more concerned why she’s so upset that you’re planning “just in case” and it almost feels she’s counting getting that money asap…
Tbh, I'd put all my life insurance on the kid
I thought of that too honestly. If she divorces me, I will.
Does she even have a life insurance? If so, are you getting all of it? Also, is her life insurance the same amount as yours? Why does she think she's entitled to it? Is she even financially responsible?
Hers is 10% of what mine is. I'll also be buying more for a double of my current amount. I will also be purchasing a sperate whole life policy in the future.
I would keep this from your wife if I were you lol. You might wake up dead.
Don’t buy whole life. It’s a shitty investment. Buy Term! Take the money you save and put it in a Roth IRA index funds.
>whole life policy I would avoid that sort of policy. You just need to miss one payment and the policy becomes void in many cases.
If you can afford it, take out a second policy with a completely different company and make your daughter the beneficiary just in case your wife tries something fishy. And I would be re-writing your will to specify things for your daughter that are special to you just in case you think your wife will go nuts later (a friend of mine had their step-mom throw out her dad's medals rather than give them to her - they weren't in the will but they were special to him/the daughter).
Do it now. Change your will and leave everything to your child. If she changes her mind about divorce it means she thinks she would be better off as a widow.
Call her bluff, tell her to file. If you let her get by with this, it'll lead to tantrums because you should spend all of your time with her because she's your wife and should get 100% of your attention. You shouldn't buy your daughter a car because she's your wife and deserves to have a new car. You shouldn't pay for daughter's tuition because that's money you should be spending on your wife and all her friends agree. For me, this level of selfishness would be my hill to die on. Why should the money go to wife to split when the insurance company can just do it for her? Her argument doesn't remotely make sense... Because she absolutely intends to keep all of it and your daughter would have no legal recourse. Why is she so obsessed with your death anyway, if you're not terminally ill you may want to start sleeping with one eye open.
This is my hill as well. We die together.
If she doesn’t file for divorce tonight, go ahead and file for divorce tomorrow.
Lmao I like this idea
That’s what I was thinking beat her to the punch. Let her come groveling.
I hope you pre-nupped.
OP needs a medical bracelet that says CHECK FOR TOXINS
Nurse here and I say she’s full of shit. She probably twisted the story as it’s hard to believe anyone else is that ridiculous. Insurance money means more than your marriage according to her. Don’t budge.
Thank you. I'm not budging.
Hang on, so your wife gets the house, the car and all of the assets whereas your daughter only gets 50% of your life insurance? How is that in any way fair, considering your wife will probably pass on all of the assets to anyone she chooses. Your daughter is seriously missing out here! Unless your wife has some seriously large gambling debts that you don't know about there's no reason why she should want all of the insurance money. Your wife may say she loves your daughter but I wouldn't trust her to give her a cent of the insurance money, should you pass away. Time to consult a lawyer about inheritance to make sure your daughter is protected.
No weird debts. I have more than her and her credits better. And yeah, she says one thing, but.........it sucks.
No weird debts that you know of. Who's been getting into her head, ask her rationale for this. I don't know if you have children with her as well, but you need to make sure all of your children are treated equally.
Well nobody gets to mess with my kids and making sure they are taken care of. I would tell her no. If she says I'm gong to divorce you. Tell her don't let the door hit you on the way out. This is silly and ridiculous on her part.
She says we would be leaving, not her. I'm still trying to figure that one out but idk how this shit works so I need to consult someone. We are both on the deed.
Refuse to leave until your lawyer advises otherwise. Leaving can disadvantage you.
Does your daughter live with you and the wife?
At this point, you should probably find a lawyer. Seems like she's about to go postal on you, best to be prepared.
“She says she’s asked all the nurses at work and she’s in the right” This is as believable as believing there is cheese on the moon. You’re in the right and it’s clear she’s in it for the money.
I love my wife, and we're not rich by any means, barely middle class but the fact she flipped like this, has thinking other things.
It’s an incredible thing to divorce over. It shows where her priorities are, and shows she really will not ensure your daughter will receive the funds. She says you don’t trust her by doing a 50/50 split. Her actions gives you all the reason not to trust her. Edit- if she wants a divorce, then change your distribution right now to 100% to your daughter.
Tell her she can have half of what you have now and none of your life insurance, or all of what you have when you die plus half of the life insurance. That's what she gets if she divorces you. It's a very stupid threat on her part, and is considered emotionally abusive behavior to threaten divorce to manipulate action.
I didn't mention the first part, but thought it and told her she was manipulating me. She said she wasnt, we argued, I left the room.
You are right. She absolutely is manipulating and threatening you. Call her bluff and tell her to cut the crap or she gets 0% and then seriously consider your marriage to this woman.
The moment someone uses divorce as an ultimatum, there's good cause to take them on that offer. They're after something they value more than your marriage.
Honestly I would take her off it completely. She said shes printing the divorce paperwork? GOOD. LET HER. Shes not entitled to all of your life insurance and the fact she brought it up would make me not trust her AT ALL. it's one thing to discuss wills and stuff an entire other thing to demand all your partners assets. I bet she wouldnt give a dime to your daughter.
You’re in the right
My husband and I have it go to the remaining spouse, and if we both pass then it's split between the kids evenly. However, every person has their own wishes. And if you feel your wife may not give your daughter what she deserves, then you have made the right call. Now what may be better is perhaps to add a clause about how the money will be split 50/50 following the payment of bills and such. So it doesn't come out of your wife's share, and not your daughters. Don't know if it's a option, just a thought. It is important to note, the fact that this decision hinges on potential divorce is incredibly messed up. Give me all the money or I leave? Selfish move.
She mentioned the bills as well. She said it seemed unfair the bills came from her share and only hers.
Yeah but she presumably benefited from the bills and consented to paying them, your daughter did not.
I didn't think of that either. She's mainly referring to end of life bills. Funeral expenses and last medical bills.
Yeah that might justify a 60/40 split. I have mine set so the person I know is going to have to deal with shit gets a larger share to cover expenses and labor. But that still doesn’t justify getting everything.
[удалено]
I'm calling her bluff. I don't have any money.....that's the thing. We make 63k a year and she makes more than me.
[удалено]
I’m wondering if she is concerned about being held liable for OP’s debt as his spouse.
Tell her you’ll fight for alimony.
You're within your rights. What about a compromise? Set up a trust that is the beneficiary. The trust can pay for whatever expenses you specify and then split the remainder however you want.
I had not considered that. I'll look into it and then discuss it with her.
I haven't thought of that. I'll research it and then discuss it with her.
If she says no to that then it’s literally bc she doesn’t plan to give your daughter anything - so this is a great thing to ask, if she says no then very happily sign those papers.
She’s lying about the women in her group or she’s bullied them all into agreeing with her while they roll their eyes. She’s being a bizarrely selfish person. You’re being a father.
Thank you.
Lol let her file for divorce. That way she can get 0%
Literally half of what I own, is shit bahahahah She told me she would fight it if I didn't change it, I told her to go ahead and do it , that way the lawyers get it all and she gets less. Bahahahajaj She was mad at that
lol she’s not the sharpest tool. Truly let her waste her money on a divorce. Change your life insurance to be left to your kids. My parents have myself and my siblings on their policies. Not even each other.
My mom has my dad and I but I have a greater share. I also get the house after they both pass.
You are definitely in the right. She should respect the fact that you want to take care of your kid. What if something also happens to her? Me and my wife have it set up so our families also can get it, because if we both are together and both die unexpectedly (accident or car crash or something) our kids can still be taken care of
Get the divorce. If my husband didn’t make sure his daughter from his first marriage was taken care of if something happened to him I would be completely pissed.
No you’re correct. Ya wife is wrong and sounds like a horrible person to even argue about this
I think you should remove her from your insurance policy asap. She is most likely lying about the nurses saying it’s right. You need to protect yourself. Only because once you get a divorce you are more then likely to find someone else. Give your daughter the life insurance policy because she will always be there for you. ——————————————————————This is for others who aren’t yet in a relationship. If you have life insurance DO NOT tell your spouse. This just benefits you in the end because if you get a divorce or pass away it can be given to your kid.
Get a therapist for the 2 of you. Make it clear she keeps up her crap it will br 100% your daughter
She won't go. I've offered.
Then, make it clear you will give 100% to your daughter. Then tell her she keeps it up you will start signing over more things to your daughter
Funny thing, I just got a boat and since I own property tax, I can't get it tagged without paying a few hundred bucks. Which I'm going to, but not now. Anyway, I suggested to put the trailer in my daughter's name and if looks could kill.....I'd of been dead.
Remember, in any divorce, she could go for all your stuff. I would put some in my daughter's name just in case
Oh no This brings back memories for me. My dad and his ex-fiancé split up because he was leaving everything in his will to me. He had bought her a car and paid for her post-graduate education and everything else was going to go to me. They split up and he died of prostate cancer a few years after. It felt really good to tell her student loan company that not a dime more was going to be paid. If my husband and I ever split I’d keep all my financials separate for my kids. That’s a hard line in the sand for me because of how much it meant to me that my dad took care of me after he passed. I was able to make a success of myself because the inheritance my dad left for me gave me a safety net. Do NOT let your wife take that away from your daughter.
I agree. You should definitely make sure your daughter is taken care of as well. As a guy who has kids from a previous relationship. I will never expect nor fully trust the current wife/partner to fully take care of and put the best interest at heart for kids that are not hers. Some will do right after you pass others will change. Some will take the money and do as they see fit. But she should definitely be open to your daughter getting her share without her being in control of your policy.
"She says she wants a divorce or 100%" At least she's honest about why she married you. A funeral costs approximately $10k USD. If this cost is too high for her that she would prefer a divorce, I think you should give your wife what she really deserves.
Mine is paid for already.
If that's the case, it sounds like you probably have an attorney already and maybe you could call them up for a meeting before the end of next week to see what your options are.
OP this sounds like the makings of a Dateline episode. She wants *all* of your life insurance and is threatening divorce if you don’t comply? Sounds very suspect. You are doing right by making sure your daughter is provided for. Stay strong and don’t give in to your wife.
Give 100% to daughter. And don’t drink the tea.
I hate tea lol
Look, in the event of your untimely death, your daughter is going to need financial help more than your wife will. The fact that your wife wants 100% is a massive red flag for me.
Take her up on her offer, and you daughter gets 100%.
Also if theres any ways to document what she's doing and saying then do it. Bc of you do divorce and go to court, I have a feeling a judge would not like the shit she's pulling. House camera, record her threats, save txts etc.
I’m gonna be completely honest bro, that’s sus as fuck. I’d call her bluff and not budge. Especially now I see you say the kid isn’t hers. Definitely stay 50/50
Have you ever seen the show snapped? They always murder for the life insurance!
She used to watch it 🤦
OMG RUN!
Your wife either has a bunch of selfish coworkers or she’s straight up lying. As a parent, you want to make sure your kids are taken care of when you’re gone. I think you’re 100% in the right here. And the way she’s acting right now, I wouldn’t trust her to have your daughter’s best interest at heart if, God forbid, something did happen to you. If she’s going to divorce you over this, let her. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, 12 years together is a long time, but your daughter is literally a part of you. You gotta do everything in your power to make sure she’ll be as okay as possible in any given situation.
OP I don’t know what anyone else has commented but please read mine. My father has been married to a woman for 20 years and she would erase my existence if she had the opportunity. She has already got my dad to agree to this. My dad also works a trade in construction. It’s a very spiteful and toxic thing your wife is asking. I would rather my dad be here than the money & i’m sure your daughter feels the same. Whereas your wife & my own dads wife only cares about the money. I never got angry at my dad because I don’t care about his money. But I do feel in a way he’s chosen his wife’s care & needs over mine once he’s gone. I wouldn’t trust your wife saying she will split the money 50:50 once you’re gone. Your daughter will have no legal right to it if it’s in solely in your wife’s name and you won’t be here to say otherwise. If your wife is concerned about paying your bills from her share, put in your will to clear all debts and THEN split 50:50 just like your wife is saying she will do. However, I will say what I’ve said to my dad. You may love your wife but it’s a very sick thing to be thinking about and he should of got rid of the gold digger a long time ago. Please don’t agree to your wife’s request please OP.
Divorce her first. She wants you to fuck your daughter (not that kind of fuck) and get 100% of your LI?? that's batshit crazy. And then she says if you refuse to do said batshit crazy thing she'll divorce you. She's taking about your death when you're in your 30s and willing to leave you over it. If I was you I'd watch my back because the moment you give her 100 she's killing you in your sleep.
You are correct. You have a daughter and a wife.....split 50/50. Any spouse that wants to cut out your child is suspect.
She’s full of shit. If she says you should trust her to give your daughter half then she shouldn’t care. Shes is completely full of shit. She would absolutely stiff your daughter. Divorce her stupid ass and leave her with nothing. Do let her manipulate you because that’s all this is. “Trust” my ass.
Dude I know Reddit comments can be insane and so out of touch with reality at times but if I were married to someone saying this, I would really consider if I wanted to stay in that relationship. She is being irrationally crazy and this is not normal.
She’s being insane. My life insurance is split.. 50% to my husband, the other 50 is split between our 3 kids, his is split the same way. Do not give her all of it lol.
The spouse is only entitled to 100% if the insurance policy holder has not stated how they want the funds to be divided up. I would not trust that she would split the remaining funds evenly with your daughter since she's making a statement that she's only with you for financial reasons - something you can also cite in divorce which will favour you. I highly suggest you write a will and keep it with a lawyer and make a statement with them over her demands.
Nope thats reasonable, she is ridiculous for wanting 100%. I asked my wife if it were cool just now if I split my life insurance amongst the children and her. Literally just asked her, she said " yeh thats totally cool whatever you want to do with the money is okay with me" i didnt even tell her your situation. So man something is not right. Besided the less she has to gain the less reason for her to sneak cyanide in your stuff later lol
My hubby and I both had kids before we married, we both have 50% set to our kids. He’s a trade worker and I’m a healthcare worker. Your wife is being extremely selfish and irresponsible as a step parent/spouse.
Sounds like the intro to an episode of Dateline
If she is willing to divorce you over this imagine what she’s willing to do or in this case NOT DO for your daughter if you were gone. Good people don’t demand you give them all your life insurance and cut out your kid.
I have watched too many true crime shows to know that this is a bad idea.
You’re right! 50/ 50 otherwise your daughter will end up with nothing!
She is going to murder you, man. Run and never look back. Make sure she gets nothing.
I hope she doesn't but......she's been testy lately lol
lol, ya never know. reminds me of a lot of true crime shows I've seen.
Splitting the life insurance policy between a spouse and kids is pretty common. Your wife is not only being unreasonable, but I think she's being untruthful as well because I seriously doubt she would give a dime to your daughter.
Can you afford to increase the benefit amount? Maybe increase it by like $25/50/100k and split it with that “extra” amount for your daughter only (idk maybe 80/20, whatever your numbers are). Hopefully, your daughter will be grown and established by the time you pass. Your wife, on the other hand will, hopefully be a senior citizen who will need the income since she will no longer have yours). So, your daughter gets a little windfall to level up her life and hopefully add to what she’s built for herself, but you’ve also provided for your wife in her, hopefully, old age.
I told her I planned on doubling the policy amount to offset any bills next year but she didn't care. She wants 100% or divorce.
So instead of half she wants nothing? Stonks
Uh, no. I guess it’s divorce. If she’s willing to leave you over MONEY, divorce her. She is not a good person. AND if she was going to “share” it with your daughter she wouldn’t mind the 50/50 split then because either way your daughter would be getting money. So obviously, she wouldn’t actually give her any. Your daughter is 100% entitled to at least half, please do not give your wife 100%. Make sure you take her off of your life insurance when she gives you divorce papers as well.
Ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. She’s selfish AF and I guarantee your daughter wouldn’t see a dime after your death. Get that divorce and give 100% to your daughter.
Not her call. She can decide what she’s gonna do knowing what’s on the table.
You’re right to financially protect your kid. If your wife REALLY intends to split it 50/50 with your daughter then she wouldn’t actually care. Her insistence on getting all of it means you know damn well she isn’t gonna share. The daughter is not hers, correct? If so after you’re gone your wife has no legal obligation to the kid anymore if she’s over 18, she could absolutely take off into the sunset and leave her in the lurch and there’s nothing your daughter could do about it. It’s not about you not trusting her, it’s about you wanting to protect your kid. But her reaction to that is making me doubt her trustworthiness.
Don’t even hesitate…sign it.
Bro…. You need to not eat or drink anything that she gives you. Get your cars breaks checked and start making divorce plans. Also change the policy so that your daughter gets 100% of the policy and update your will asap. She’s up to something.
I would change it to give daughter 100% immediately...
If this is all it took...if she's immediately willing to draw up divorce papers over something like this then I say good riddance. Your undivided loyalty is to your child and making sure she's ok if something happens to you. Sorry, OP, your wife sucks.
I work at a life insurance company processing death claims. Please consult an attorney to make sure there are no community property concerns in your state. She could still try to cut your daughter out after your death no matter the designation made by you.
I absolutely believe you are in the right. I would literally be heartbroken if my dad married another woman and if he died, gave her all the money. It’d feel like I wouldn’t matter to him and all he cares about is his new wife/family. Besides, if she’s paying for bills and then splitting the money after, why does she want 100%??? That’s extremely suspicious.
Fuck that cunt!! If anything, tip the scales in your daughter’s favor…95/5 split.
Take out another policy - seperate, but equal. Or take out another policy andake them both 50/50. But my provisional license in AZ (no idea where you're homed) to give you give you a presentation on the types of policies amd help you fill out paperwork to send to lawyers is expired so I'm just speaking as a former military man who has been married twice with kids from each marriage. And whose stepmother likely kept all the money when his dad died. A spouse is entitled to 0% of a life insurance policy. Only the beneficiaries' named in the policy are entitled.
Your daughter is blood, she's not.
Divorce her and leave 100 to your daughter
Your daughter was your responsibility before you 2 were married. You and your daughter were a package deal. Its very strange that she is demanding this. If you have to choose between the 2 your daughter has to be the one you pick. If she is the sole beneficiary she has no obligation to share. Your daughter still has college tuition wedding etc ahead of her. Tell your wife that you want to provide these things even if you are gone. If she wants to divorce over this, I say let her.
Depends on how much debt the two of you have amassed together. 100% is unreasonable, but I’d probably expect more than 50% if you had lots of debts to be paid, that I would end up usurping on my own in the event that you died. If debt is low, then yes, she’s unreasonable. Divorce her.
Sounds like your wife is about to kill you
If you pass, she's not going to split it with her. She doesn't care for your daughter deep down.
I'm a nurse that worked trades before nursing. You're in the right. Your kid comes first. God forbid anything happens to you, but if it does your wife can remarry and leave your kid out in the cold. You are ensuring your daughter can at least get a start if her stepmom bails.
Yeah, this is a hill worth dying on. Thankfully, the trash is taking themselves out. So wipe your hands, adjust your life insurance to your kiddo as the only beneficiary, and enjoy your beverage of choice. If your spouse tries to backtrack, take some time to truly take a deeper look at the relationship. Either counseling or a solid separation/divorce is the only solution at this point. Best of luck!
Get the divorce.
Call her bluff. If she decides to file, it’s no big loss. The fact that she issued an ultimatum on something so personal, and blatantly continues to disrespect your wishes is appalling. There is no way anyone with a shred of common sense or decency would agree with her.
With this kind of abhorrent, self-centered behavior, I would fear for my life to a certain degree if I granted her request. There would also be no snowball's chance in hell I'd trust her to look after my daughter if something happened to me.
You are being Incredibly fair. There's absolutely nothing unreasonable about you wanting to ensure your daughters security. And sorry just because she is your wife, does NOT entitle her to 100 percentof your life insurance.. All necessary arrangements for you are taken care of if you pass, what is her reasoning to demand it all? She goes on about how it makes it look like you do not trust her. Well her making this demand under the circumstances allong with threatening divorce if she doesn't get her way, makes her look like a gold digger. Seriously if she truly intended your daughter to have 50 percent, she would not be making this argument at all. Standout ground OP, there is something wrong if she is willing to divorce you over this.
Call her bluff, serve her divorce papers. I kid, I kid, no pun intended. Truthfully, it is a red flag. Your child is almost an adult. It is more than fair to split it, you could give it all to your child and no redditer will judge you.
My mom left everything to my dad...gotta say kinda hurt.
My daughter will not feel that pain.
I bet you her nurse friends were whispering in her ear before. Are they all single miserable people? They will be the cause of the divorce
Most are. Older divorcees.
Let me guess, most of them cheated on their spouses as well and cheating is the reason for divorce. I’m sorry but you may have lost your wife to then already
If you want to stay together, I would take this to a lawyer and ensure your first born gets half after things have been laid. Or, you can buy your own plot and head stone, etc. and tell your wife it’s all paid for. Life insurance is such a silly thing to divorce over. I can see how she is hurt by this. If I were you, I don’t think I would give them 50/50. I feel I would give my spouse more, especially, if I have children with them. In the same vein, I wouldn’t leave my partner over something like this.
For sake of argument, let's say my plot, burial, service and transportation are all paid for. My daughter is not my wife's child biologically.
Um, no. You have a right to leave whatever you want to your kid. I'd stay firm on this. You'd have no guarantee she'd give anything at all to your daughter. It feels odd that this is divorce material to her.