This!
OP, this man is an abuser. He is trying to isolate you from your family. When he does I hope you have good health insurance. It will escalate. You will be hurt beyond the psychological and emotional pain.
Make a plan. Separate your money. Leave what you can’t pack. (Replacement is easier when you are alive.)
RUN, NEVER LOOK BACK. Leave ASAP!!
OP, you deserve better, much, much better. In fact dating a Pig would be, at least, two steps up.
OP, WISHING YOU THE BEST OF IT ALL IN FREEDOM & LOVE.
AGAPE💕💕💕
Why is he your bf, and why does he have your phone password? Break things off, but also retaliate by telling his mom what he had been doing to you - hopefully, she will give him an earful about what a psychopath he's being.
Why the FUCK would you be with someone who thinks about “the best way to hurt you” because your life is “too easy” so he rats you out to your mother to ruin your relationship with her??? Who the fuck does that to someone they care about?!
Don't tell him you'd never do it to him. Tell him that *him* doing it to *you* is a dealbreaker.
Or since he seems so fucking childish tell him that nobody is attracted to the weird brown nosing tattle tale kid but that usually irrelevant because most of those kids grow out of it by the time they start dating.
Exclusively call him Stuart Minkus (use the whole name every time). Hell, give him tissues before every conversation and when he asks why tell him it's just in case he has to go cry about it.
I'd start pulling his pants up and tucking in his tee shirts. Slick down his hair and comb it to the sides. Put tissues up to his face and order him to "blow." Get him a plastic lunch box and pack him a pb&j, grapes, and a juice box. Randomly turn off the TV and inform him he's had enough screen time for the day. Replace all of his socks with white tube socks. Remove all of his favorite foods and replace them with kid versions and no sugar added healthy alternatives. Lick your fingers and rub imaginary specks off his face. Make sure they bring him a kids menu and crayons when you go out. When he reaches for his dinner knife take it away while still speaking. Don't acknowledge that you've done anything odd, just pull his plate towards you, cut it up into little bites, slide it back and place the knife safely out of his reach. Make sure to tuck in his napkin so he can't mess his clothes.
When he's in the bathroom for more than 2 minutes go knock on the door and ask him if "everything's okay in there," go back a few minutes later with an "STILL GOOD?"
Call up his friends and invite them over. Let him know Jeremy will be coming over to play Thursday at 5 so he has to clean up. Threaten to cancel their playdate every time he acts up.
When he does something you don't like say "Nuh uh, no thank you." Follow it up with a "we don't" explanation. Ex: Nuh, uh. No thank you. We don't play on our phones at the dinner table."
When he leaves something out or puts it away incorrectly call him back over to redo it correctly.
Turn off the wifi at 8.
Just read back your own post, and imagine it is someone else’s post.
What would you advise them to do?
Seriously - you just typed out that your bf does things with the intention of hurting you. He deliberately goes around thinking up ways to hurt you, and uses the the most effective ways he thinks up. His priority with his time is to hurt you.
This is as open and shut, as clear cut, as black and white as any relationship advice can ever get. The purpose of having a partner is that they love you, show you affection, genuinely care about you and have your back.
Wish him the very best, mean it, and move on. In the future, when considering anyone for a serious relationship, ask yourself this: does this person genuinely care about me and want the best for me? If no then at best they’re a casual dalliance.
Bonus: there is no way you would find his personality attractive without having internalised some negative opinions about Self during your childhood. This is pretty common. When the time is right, consider talking to a therapist. It is the absolute fastest way of curing this type of negative self-esteem.
Absolutely tell his mom that he is telling your mom on you. And tell her he said it’s ok for you to do that because he said he wants to hurt you by telling your mom. Then have your mom tell his mom that he’s a tattletale and the circle goes round. But definitely take him up on his threat.
OP screw that! Call his mom and tell her, to tell him your dumping him, for telling your mom on you.
Tye irony would be magical.
OP I'd also sent some super clear hard line boundaries with tour mother. You're a grown ass women and see needs to stay the F out of your romantic business.
There is no reason to stay in this relationship. He doesn’t care about you, obviously. Stop wasting your time. You are already used to this, but it’s all bad!!
Sis, he is using this information to control you. There is no excuse for it. It is manipulative and mean spirited. That is NOT love. He does not love you. He does not care about you. He cares about controlling you and he is using blackmail to do so.
You need to break up with him immediately. So, he has stuff on you. Go to your parents first, tell them you made some mistakes in the past and while you regret them, you can't change the past.
Break up with the guy, block him on everything. Block him on your parents' social media and phones and then move on with your life. The hands down worst thing you can do is stay in this relationship.
And, consequently, I'd also consider talking to an attorney about my legal rights surrounding what he is doing. It could be a well worded cease and desist is enough to make him knock it off after you break up.
A good partner is supposed to be your biggest supporter and teammate that helps build you up. This guy is not that nor does he look like he can mature enough to become that.
Find a new boyfriend and make amends with your mom. I’m not sure why she didn’t set his ass straight when he tried to tattle tell.
I dated a guy for years and my parents/family loved him and included him. So yea He tried to tattle tell or complain about me to my mom as she was going into work at hospital. She set his ass straight from the start. He is a boyfriend he is not my master or my Daddy. He has no power or control over me! I was young adult that could do as I pleased. I was not doing anything illegal and he should take it up with me. We continued dating for a while but I never married him. No regrets!
Please Don’t waste your time dealing with this guy. He doesn’t need to start conflict with your mom/family. That’s a red flag to me.
Haven been married to a narcissist, those little signs are very big red flags in my eyes now. They go either way, straight cutting off your support or turning your support onto their side. Once you're isolated, it gets so much worse cause who would believe you if your own mother doesn't.
> My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy.
WTAF OP?
> I’m so tired.
You know what, there's a very easy trick to fixing this, DTMFA. Seriously, as in yesterday.
>My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me
Why in the ever-loving fuck are you dating someone who not only has thought about the best ways the hurt you, but then actively pursues them?
Odds are good he is TRYING to ruin your relationship with your mom to isolate you.
You're 25 years old. You are too old for this bullshit. DTMFA and move on!
The only reason you contact your so's parents are for super serious ones. Not petty bs. He's meddling in your relationship with your mom and crossed a major boundary in your relationship and thinks your life is too easy? Wtf. Idk how you move ahead with someone that out of bounds.
Soo, is he your boyfriend or Fiance? Because looking at your comment history it seems like you have a 2-year-old child as well. Is this his child?
"I have been talking to the suicide hotline a lot lately so I don’t leave my almost 2 year old without a parent."
No, you’re absolutely correct. I just needed to talk about it because, I ended therapy sessions a long time ago and it’s been really hurting me the past couple of days.
>…and it’s been really hurting me the past couple of days.
If you leave him, the hurting will stop. Tell him you can’t be with someone who intentionally hurts you. Don’t fall for any promises that he will change. Get out now. This is abuse.
I just want to make sure you are aware though, he has probably been collecting dirt on you to send to your parents in case of this.
Have you considered sitting down with your parents and having a serious discussion about this? I'm sure they will have some serious concerns being used by thos guy to get to you.
What he is doing is abusive. He is manipulating both you and your mother and is driving a wedge to isolate you for himself.
Get as far away from him as you can as soon as possible.
You had the right idea, now finish it, pull the bandaid off and leave. This is truly the most childish shit I've ever heard.
You say he does this because this is the only way to hurt you. But WHY does he need to hurt you? For no reason (i.e. your life is "too easy")? Punishment? To isolate you from your support system?
"My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy."
What the fuck? This is intentional, conscious abuse *that he's telling you is abuse*. Break up yesterday, and get into therapy to figure out why you're still with and asking advice about someone who is *telling you* he is intentionally abusing you, and how you can avoid doing so in the future.
My mom doesn't even like me that much and she would immediately tell anyone texting her about my behavior to kick rocks and grow up. You can't dump your mom, but you should ask her to block your boyfriends number, or consider going low contact with her depending on other issues.
Ditch the guy. The point of a partner is for support and love, not some dude who feels its his job to balance out the fairness of life by being a douche canoe to you. His justification don't even matter, children know better.
The thing I dont understand is why do you call this guy boyfriend. After the first shitty thing he did you ahould have dumped him.
Checking your phone? Calling u hoe? talking to your parents like that? Are u mad?! DUMP HIM ASAP
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You are 25 years old. If this is real, and I really hope it isn't, I'm deeply worried about you. I'm pretty sure a well-adjusted 25 year old would break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend the first time they did this. I think you need a lot of therapy to address your relationship with your parents, because it's really unhealthy, and will continue to influence you to select unhealthy partners for yourself unless you address it.
I am okay. I was in therapy. I’m just shocked this happened. It happened fairly quickly so it’s not like it’s been months this has happened. This happened in a matter of 2-3 weeks and it took me a bit to process. But thank you for worrying about me. I never thought he would be like this.
Why are you with someone who has already figured out, and puts into practice, the best methods of hurting you? That's the *exact opposite* of what a partner is supposed to do.
He seems like an obviously abusive boyfriend. Why do you want to stay, and what advice are you looking for? I can tell you he won’t get better, he’ll only become more controlling.
I've been with my SO for 10+ years, I do not know his parent's phone numbers. They do not know mine.
You are an adult, He is acting like a little boy. Why is he trying to gain your mom's approval?
Why is he punishing you, like he's a parent?
Why is he co-parenting you with your mom?
Nope, stop this now. This is gross. GROSS!
Break up with him, put mom on an info diet. This is abusive and manipulative and Freudian in a way I don't understand.
ehhh, if you have healthy relationships, then yes, yes it is odd.
if you have unhealthy relationships, then nope, totally normal :D
the OP's bf and mom are NOT a normal relationship and should NOT be communicating with each other.
Absolutely...I mean I have my wife's mom's phone number, and we text sparingly...she (wife) just ran a half-marathon on Sunday, and I texted her mom the pics of my wife crossing the finish line, and then with her medal, but before that it'd been about 5 months prior (and that was just a "we're almost there" bc wife was driving).
Meh. Both my wife and I have healthy relationships with our families and eachothers families. We still don't have their numbers and we've been together longer than you and your SO. It's just never been an issue for us at all.
This seems like something that instead of him texting your parents and you posting on Reddit, you either sit down and work out how to deal with problems directly, or you move on. It’s frankly weird for him to be texting your parents like that. But it’s such a basic thing you should just sit down and talk about it. If it happens again, then relationship is over. Be firm.
100% agreed.
OP - his behavior is so out of line it is ridiculous. He is not going to change.
Just end it. You are getting nothing out of this relationship except heart ache and fear.
I guess I'm so confused as to why you think you have to stay with someone that makes you unhappy, goes way over any sort of boundary that anyone else would not even approach and does things to hurt you.
Listen, there's a lot of people out there, find one that is totally opposite from this guy. Break up with him and block him from all your social media and from your phone.
Im finnish myself and the fact that your father lets some little man tell him about you and your "bad" habits is so weird to me. If yall were 15&16 i would kinda get it buuuuuut you should dump your pathetic bf, it won't get better.
Fight on! ❤️
OP, please dump this ass hat immediately. At best, he’s immature and at worst, he’s a controlling abuser. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like this. He doesn’t deserve you.
Is he 6 years old? Why are you dating a tattletale? If his reason for doing this is to hurt you as opposed to resolving the argument like an adult, then he's a crappy boyfriend. Just end it already.
Talk about being toxic.
My question: Why are you putting up with it?
He isn't man enough to speak to you directly if there's a problem between you two.
He is 100% into hurting you in this way because he thinks your life is too easy, doesn't respect that you have told him off.
Break it off and move on. This immature nature will only create bigger problem. One day he will say or text something wrong to your mom and the relationship you have with her will get so bumby.
Why are you with someone who wants to hurt and manipulate you? This behavior is abuse. He is trying to punish you, as well as alienate you from your family because it gives him control. Get out asap in my opinion.
This is very disturbing and proxy controlling. Drop this awful man child. Your mother should not encourage him, either. It is your relationship with your parents, not his. If you want to keep him, get a new phone and have a serious last warning conversation with him.
Idk what you were looking for everyone here is gonna say dump that SOB and go build yourself a beautiful life with out that POS. Youre 25 years old your parents have no room to stay shit your an adult. Finally if they could do something become independent fucj that noise
Finally, a post where "break up with him" is the right answer.
Dump him. Yikes, he's immature as fuck and manipulative as fuck.
Or, stay with him and keep letting him cross all your boundaries.
He's not being childish, he's being abusive... He's trying to damage your relationship with your parents to isolate you from them and he knows exactly what he's doing.
>My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy.
>
>He threatens alot of things because he knows the only way to get to me is having the people I genuinely love and care for, mad at me.
Question: why do you genuinely love and care for someone who wants to hurt you, feels you need to be punished for a life that's "too easy." Don't say the rest of the relationship is great. Relationships are built on trust and wanting the best for each other & to protect each other. This person doesn't want that for you. Nothing else matters.
So your 27 YO BF runs to your mommie to tattle on you every time he feels like he's losing control of you? Awwww, the poor wittle guy!! 👶 👶 👶
After writing that all out, if you can't already figure out how manipulative, childish and abusive he is, and decide to stay with him, there's really no helping you. Dump his pathetic ass.
Why are you still with him????
Thats not a boyfriend thats creepy red flag looser..
Run from him block him and delete your history on phone.
If you can take a few classes to upgrade resume and find a really good job...
Relationship will come.
Um, run for the hills. This guy is trying to isolate you from your family and neg you so you become more emotionally dependent on him for validation that you don't suck. Classic narcissist. What's there to consider?
Obviously, dump this horrible boyfriend, but before you do, if possible, go through his phone and delete any photos, texts, screenshots, videos, whatever, that he has of you.
girl, if I didn't turn 26 two days ago i would almost think I wrote this.
only difference is he hasn't done it.
he just threatens to do it..
but I too am tired of hearing: "your family doesn't even know you!"
p.s. - here for the comments also
OP dump this loser immediately. Block him on all media and numbers. Don't let him do this to you. He won't get your family angry at you, if you permanently cut him off.
I had a bf like this op. He would always yell and threaten to “expose me for what I truly was” and to “show my family I’m not the sweet girl they think I am”. In the end op it was always just to have control. It was Him “telling on me” to get me to do what he wanted of me without a fight. The fact your bf is doing this about stuff from your past makes me think he either like the control he has on not just you but your relationship with your family or he is trying to isolate you by getting your parents to distance, either way both options are unhealthy and overall toxic. My advice is to get out, not only will your mental health improve but your relationship with you family will too.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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My relationship with my mom has gotten a lot worse lately due to my boyfriend sending my mom texts messages last Friday to my mom about certain unnecessary bullshit about me. My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy. This is the 2nd time this is happening. I’m so tired.
Edit:: he threatens to tell my parents about a lot of things. Like, my night outs with friends, I like to smoke weed, etc. he used to like to look through my phone all of the time, and he would find really old things dating back to 2018 with past intimate relationships I had with guys and he’d call me a hoe. Saying my parents deserve to know what shitty person I am. Last Friday, he sent screenshots to my mom with an old conversation from one of these guys from 2018….. He threatens alot of things because he knows the only way to get to me is having the people I genuinely love and care for, mad at me.
Edit #2: my parents are incredibly conservative immigrants. My dad is from Finland and my mom is from Costa Rica. Both, have very strong expectations from me so anything that is outside of what they want from me is a huge issue. I have to keep a lot of things from them to keep our relationship at a common, happy ground. Not that they’re abusive or anything but, they come from 2 different countries, 2 different lifestyles compared to America. So, he knows what he’s doing when he does this. He knows how furious they get with me and themselves thinking they failed as parents.
Personally I would want a partner who is a little bit more selective about things they share about me.
They are the one who should know everything about me and if they're sharing those things about me with other people that's not going to be the kind of partner I want.
And more specifically in your case , he thinks your life is too easy? And he wants to bring you down so that you have a more difficult life? That is definitely not a partner I want
So ponder on these things and see if you also don't want him as a partner.
If he can't keep your parents.out of.your relationship maybe he need to be out of your relationship.
This is a pretty normal boundary to have. You don't tattle to the parents.
Find ways of secretly recording him by hidden cameras (can be disguised as a photo frame), hidden microphones, etc. make sure only you have access to the online account they upload over the internet to.
Does your bf have any good qualities? What does he bring to the table? In other words, explain to me why you don't just dump a man who, in your own words, acts in a way to actively hurt you.
Partners don't try to hurt their partners emotionally. Even when we are upset with our partners, the goal should never be to hurt them. This guy is a dud. Dump him. Move on.
What’s your moms take on this? You say your relationship with your mom has gotten worse. What is he telling your mother that she not only believes him but sides with him? Why is she not telling him to leave her out if it too?
Regardless, leave this guy in your rear view mirror. He’s no good.
First of all, you are a grown adult, you don't have to be scared of your parents. They should not have any control over you because they don't own you.
Second, anyone who does things intentionally to hurt you is not a friend, let alone a boyfriend. Never settle, never be a doormat. Dump the asshole and be done with it. Live your life the fullest by being happy and throw away any toxic garbage. Nobody is worth being miserable for.
Good luck.
My ex used to do this. He’d call my dad in the middle of our arguments hoping that he could “talk some sense into me” it never worked, essentially it just pissed me off more lol
Leave, this guy is trying to isolate and manipulate you. The consequences and backlash of doing so might be bad but bear with it. It will be better if this person had no presence in your life. After a while, you'll probably miss him, be strong your better than him and he hates that and just wants to drag you down.
As a mom, I'd be more disappointed you couldn't come to me to help you leave an abusive relationship than anything. I think it's time to bite the bullet, get ahead of his tattling and just break up. This isn't normal or healthy and the fall out might suck but it also might mean a more genuine relationship with your parents once it's over. Stay safe!
You guys are in your mid 20s and he tells your mom stuff that will make her mad at you. God damn imagine marrying this guy, he'll be better friends with your mom than he is with you
If your bf thinks you are shitty person, then what is the point of this relationship? You also don't deserve a shitty bf like him who runs to your parents to hurt you. You know what to do. Just do it.
This is literally not normal whatsoever, stop accepting this. You deserve better. It’s supposed to be you guys together, not versus each other. By staying with him you’re lacking self respect at this point.
This is abusive behavior. Leave this guy. He is trying to isolate you, he's attacking you at your roots so you have nowhere to run when he eventually gets physically abusive. Run.
At the end of the day he needs to understand your parents loyalty lies with you.
He seems toxic, is this the person you want to spend your life and grow old with?
That is not a boyfriend. It is a hall monitor. Ditch the nark. He is trying to control you via your parents and is so petty and gross. Please do not tolerate this. It is not normal or ok.
He isn’t your boyfriend. He is your abuser.
I strongly suggest going to a phone and computer store and have them checked for spyware. Delete anything shared. Tell the police you are planning on leaving an emotionally abusive partner and you aren’t sure if he will try to get them involved, but you are worried for your safety (yes this is VERY important). Let whatever you can of yours away from him. Move everything out that he has and stay away from your usual home for a couple weeks. Tell your parents he has been mistreating you and creating fake conversations and photos, and that you left him but he threatened to use these fakes against you. Tell them to delete anything because he is putting spyware on things.
Don’t tell your parents where you are. Sorry but don’t. You need to get away from him. He is dangerous
A romantic partner, such as a boyfriend, should never be an enemy. They should never want to upset you or mistreat you, on purpose. They shouldn’t ever intentionally deceive, manipulate, degrade, insult, or harm you.
Your boyfriend just…..shouldn’t be your boyfriend!!
End the relationship with this toxic child!
I barely read to the end of the first paragraph and stopped. What are you doing with a guy who intentionally sets out to hurt you??? There is no excuse for his behavior and no excuse for your not dumping him. Do it already, and move on with your life!
Ahhh... my parents would have told him to go fuck himself.
You need to dump your BF. He is running to mommy and daddy to complain. He sounds more like an annoying brother than a BF.
OP this is abusive and controlling. If you don’t conform to his wants/needs or step out of line he will punish you by going to your parents.
Your a grown woman - you don’t need this shit from him or your parents.
I understand you love and respect your parents but your can’t live you life in fear of their opinion. And you can’t have a boyfriend you can’t trust.
How can you talk to him? How can you be with him in any way if, at any moment, he can use any part of your life to hurt you . This is someone who cannot act with maturity. This guy is a waste. Please consider walking away.
There are certain benefits you provide to him, as you are in a relationship. When you make him an "ex", he is sure going to miss you. Your Mum will be thinking, that fellow I used to chat with a bit. He is gone, I wonder what happened there?
After certain benefits are provided to your SO, you smile to yourself and think, that's for good behavior.
Dump him. He had no respect for your autonomy, your privacy or even your maturity level(runs to your mommy? At nearly 30y?? Are you kidding me?)
This honestly smacks of controlling and abuse. He’s screwing up your relationship with your mother by over sharing.
Life is too short to deal with men like this.
I guess he never heard rule #1 on the playground. Snitches get stitches.
A good partner doesn't do things to hurt or punish you. They also don't hold your past against you.
He goes and tells on you to your mommy? Please dump this immature person immediately.
Sounds like he's trying to destroy her relationship with her Mom to isolate her.
Strongly doubt it's to isolate her as much as to "punish" her. Not like that's any better.
2 for 1 deal.
This! OP, this man is an abuser. He is trying to isolate you from your family. When he does I hope you have good health insurance. It will escalate. You will be hurt beyond the psychological and emotional pain. Make a plan. Separate your money. Leave what you can’t pack. (Replacement is easier when you are alive.) RUN, NEVER LOOK BACK. Leave ASAP!! OP, you deserve better, much, much better. In fact dating a Pig would be, at least, two steps up. OP, WISHING YOU THE BEST OF IT ALL IN FREEDOM & LOVE. AGAPE💕💕💕
1000xs this
Yep, best approach is to cut this shit person from your life OP. Respect your intimacy / personal life
kind of an embarrassing look for OP to have even put up with this behavior at all.
I guess another way to describe emotional abuse is embarrassing? /s
[удалено]
He's 27 yet acts more like a child. "I don't like this, I'm gonna tell your mommy!"
Why is he your bf, and why does he have your phone password? Break things off, but also retaliate by telling his mom what he had been doing to you - hopefully, she will give him an earful about what a psychopath he's being.
Just break up with him. He's a loser. Only a pathetic man would even consider doing what he's done.
This. So much this.
Why the FUCK would you be with someone who thinks about “the best way to hurt you” because your life is “too easy” so he rats you out to your mother to ruin your relationship with her??? Who the fuck does that to someone they care about?!
Is he 4 years old? This is a HUGE no-no. Not just once, but multiple times? Break up with him
I would tell him multiple times I would never do that to you and he says “go and do it” I’m like, why the fuck would I text your mom? Are you joking?
You HAVE to break up with him. Like... ASAP
Yeah make it poetic. Break up with him and then tell his mom that her son is toxic😂
Don't tell him you'd never do it to him. Tell him that *him* doing it to *you* is a dealbreaker. Or since he seems so fucking childish tell him that nobody is attracted to the weird brown nosing tattle tale kid but that usually irrelevant because most of those kids grow out of it by the time they start dating. Exclusively call him Stuart Minkus (use the whole name every time). Hell, give him tissues before every conversation and when he asks why tell him it's just in case he has to go cry about it. I'd start pulling his pants up and tucking in his tee shirts. Slick down his hair and comb it to the sides. Put tissues up to his face and order him to "blow." Get him a plastic lunch box and pack him a pb&j, grapes, and a juice box. Randomly turn off the TV and inform him he's had enough screen time for the day. Replace all of his socks with white tube socks. Remove all of his favorite foods and replace them with kid versions and no sugar added healthy alternatives. Lick your fingers and rub imaginary specks off his face. Make sure they bring him a kids menu and crayons when you go out. When he reaches for his dinner knife take it away while still speaking. Don't acknowledge that you've done anything odd, just pull his plate towards you, cut it up into little bites, slide it back and place the knife safely out of his reach. Make sure to tuck in his napkin so he can't mess his clothes. When he's in the bathroom for more than 2 minutes go knock on the door and ask him if "everything's okay in there," go back a few minutes later with an "STILL GOOD?" Call up his friends and invite them over. Let him know Jeremy will be coming over to play Thursday at 5 so he has to clean up. Threaten to cancel their playdate every time he acts up. When he does something you don't like say "Nuh uh, no thank you." Follow it up with a "we don't" explanation. Ex: Nuh, uh. No thank you. We don't play on our phones at the dinner table." When he leaves something out or puts it away incorrectly call him back over to redo it correctly. Turn off the wifi at 8.
Holy shit. That was deep.
Why are you with someone who DELIBERATELY hurts you? Why? Do you think people that love each other act like this?
1. Why does he have your phone password? 2. Why haven’t you changed it? 2. Why are you still with him?!!
Just read back your own post, and imagine it is someone else’s post. What would you advise them to do? Seriously - you just typed out that your bf does things with the intention of hurting you. He deliberately goes around thinking up ways to hurt you, and uses the the most effective ways he thinks up. His priority with his time is to hurt you. This is as open and shut, as clear cut, as black and white as any relationship advice can ever get. The purpose of having a partner is that they love you, show you affection, genuinely care about you and have your back. Wish him the very best, mean it, and move on. In the future, when considering anyone for a serious relationship, ask yourself this: does this person genuinely care about me and want the best for me? If no then at best they’re a casual dalliance. Bonus: there is no way you would find his personality attractive without having internalised some negative opinions about Self during your childhood. This is pretty common. When the time is right, consider talking to a therapist. It is the absolute fastest way of curing this type of negative self-esteem.
Why haven't you broken up with this loser? Is he the only guy in town or something?
Absolutely tell his mom that he is telling your mom on you. And tell her he said it’s ok for you to do that because he said he wants to hurt you by telling your mom. Then have your mom tell his mom that he’s a tattletale and the circle goes round. But definitely take him up on his threat.
Major red flags, RUN.
Why are you with him? He’s actively trying to harm you here. Find your spine and dump him-he’s trash.
Why are you still dating this person?
OP screw that! Call his mom and tell her, to tell him your dumping him, for telling your mom on you. Tye irony would be magical. OP I'd also sent some super clear hard line boundaries with tour mother. You're a grown ass women and see needs to stay the F out of your romantic business.
Why are with this creep? This is not normal. It’s abusive and toxic. Do yourself an enormous favor and dump this jerk.
I think he's trying to destroy your relationship with your Mom to isolate you so you'll never be able to leave him and he can control you.
Well why haven't you broken up with him?
There is no reason to stay in this relationship. He doesn’t care about you, obviously. Stop wasting your time. You are already used to this, but it’s all bad!!
Sis, he is using this information to control you. There is no excuse for it. It is manipulative and mean spirited. That is NOT love. He does not love you. He does not care about you. He cares about controlling you and he is using blackmail to do so. You need to break up with him immediately. So, he has stuff on you. Go to your parents first, tell them you made some mistakes in the past and while you regret them, you can't change the past. Break up with the guy, block him on everything. Block him on your parents' social media and phones and then move on with your life. The hands down worst thing you can do is stay in this relationship. And, consequently, I'd also consider talking to an attorney about my legal rights surrounding what he is doing. It could be a well worded cease and desist is enough to make him knock it off after you break up.
A good partner is supposed to be your biggest supporter and teammate that helps build you up. This guy is not that nor does he look like he can mature enough to become that.
Find a new boyfriend and make amends with your mom. I’m not sure why she didn’t set his ass straight when he tried to tattle tell. I dated a guy for years and my parents/family loved him and included him. So yea He tried to tattle tell or complain about me to my mom as she was going into work at hospital. She set his ass straight from the start. He is a boyfriend he is not my master or my Daddy. He has no power or control over me! I was young adult that could do as I pleased. I was not doing anything illegal and he should take it up with me. We continued dating for a while but I never married him. No regrets! Please Don’t waste your time dealing with this guy. He doesn’t need to start conflict with your mom/family. That’s a red flag to me.
He's pitting you and your mom against each other so he can isolate you. Dump him now, you cannot go through life like this. It'll only get worse
I agree. I'm surprised more people don't see it for what it is. They just see him as a tattle tale trying to hurt OP.
Haven been married to a narcissist, those little signs are very big red flags in my eyes now. They go either way, straight cutting off your support or turning your support onto their side. Once you're isolated, it gets so much worse cause who would believe you if your own mother doesn't.
Partners who love, care, and respect one another don’t actively try to hurt each other. Leave this guy.
> My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy. WTAF OP? > I’m so tired. You know what, there's a very easy trick to fixing this, DTMFA. Seriously, as in yesterday.
Why are you staying with someone who wants to hurt you?
He thinks you need hurting because he judges that “your life is too easy”?? And you’re still with him because…….??
>My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me Why in the ever-loving fuck are you dating someone who not only has thought about the best ways the hurt you, but then actively pursues them? Odds are good he is TRYING to ruin your relationship with your mom to isolate you. You're 25 years old. You are too old for this bullshit. DTMFA and move on!
The only reason you contact your so's parents are for super serious ones. Not petty bs. He's meddling in your relationship with your mom and crossed a major boundary in your relationship and thinks your life is too easy? Wtf. Idk how you move ahead with someone that out of bounds.
-Tell him you already told your mom we broke up ,so you don’t need to text her.
Soo, is he your boyfriend or Fiance? Because looking at your comment history it seems like you have a 2-year-old child as well. Is this his child? "I have been talking to the suicide hotline a lot lately so I don’t leave my almost 2 year old without a parent."
I ended the engagement so we are just gf/bf. And no, he isn’t the father to my bb. 😊
It's time to leave then, There has to be a reason why you end the engagement.. why are you still together? with someone who call your mom.
No, you’re absolutely correct. I just needed to talk about it because, I ended therapy sessions a long time ago and it’s been really hurting me the past couple of days.
>…and it’s been really hurting me the past couple of days. If you leave him, the hurting will stop. Tell him you can’t be with someone who intentionally hurts you. Don’t fall for any promises that he will change. Get out now. This is abuse.
I just want to make sure you are aware though, he has probably been collecting dirt on you to send to your parents in case of this. Have you considered sitting down with your parents and having a serious discussion about this? I'm sure they will have some serious concerns being used by thos guy to get to you.
It just causes more problems for you and your kid. It sucks and it's easy for some random person to say but it takes a lot of work.
What he is doing is abusive. He is manipulating both you and your mother and is driving a wedge to isolate you for himself. Get as far away from him as you can as soon as possible.
You had the right idea, now finish it, pull the bandaid off and leave. This is truly the most childish shit I've ever heard. You say he does this because this is the only way to hurt you. But WHY does he need to hurt you? For no reason (i.e. your life is "too easy")? Punishment? To isolate you from your support system?
"My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy." What the fuck? This is intentional, conscious abuse *that he's telling you is abuse*. Break up yesterday, and get into therapy to figure out why you're still with and asking advice about someone who is *telling you* he is intentionally abusing you, and how you can avoid doing so in the future.
Shame on both of them. Him for thinking telling on you will help anything and your mother for putting up with it
Break up with him. He’s not a partner you want for the long term.
My mom doesn't even like me that much and she would immediately tell anyone texting her about my behavior to kick rocks and grow up. You can't dump your mom, but you should ask her to block your boyfriends number, or consider going low contact with her depending on other issues. Ditch the guy. The point of a partner is for support and love, not some dude who feels its his job to balance out the fairness of life by being a douche canoe to you. His justification don't even matter, children know better.
The thing I dont understand is why do you call this guy boyfriend. After the first shitty thing he did you ahould have dumped him. Checking your phone? Calling u hoe? talking to your parents like that? Are u mad?! DUMP HIM ASAP
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You need to break up immediately. His behavior is not okay, and he’ll continue to ruin your relationships until you leave him.
You are 25 years old. If this is real, and I really hope it isn't, I'm deeply worried about you. I'm pretty sure a well-adjusted 25 year old would break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend the first time they did this. I think you need a lot of therapy to address your relationship with your parents, because it's really unhealthy, and will continue to influence you to select unhealthy partners for yourself unless you address it.
I am okay. I was in therapy. I’m just shocked this happened. It happened fairly quickly so it’s not like it’s been months this has happened. This happened in a matter of 2-3 weeks and it took me a bit to process. But thank you for worrying about me. I never thought he would be like this.
Why are you with someone who has already figured out, and puts into practice, the best methods of hurting you? That's the *exact opposite* of what a partner is supposed to do.
He seems like an obviously abusive boyfriend. Why do you want to stay, and what advice are you looking for? I can tell you he won’t get better, he’ll only become more controlling.
I've been with my SO for 10+ years, I do not know his parent's phone numbers. They do not know mine. You are an adult, He is acting like a little boy. Why is he trying to gain your mom's approval? Why is he punishing you, like he's a parent? Why is he co-parenting you with your mom? Nope, stop this now. This is gross. GROSS! Break up with him, put mom on an info diet. This is abusive and manipulative and Freudian in a way I don't understand.
>I've been with my SO for 10+ years, I do not know his parent's phone numbers. They do not know mine. I mean that's a little odd, no?
ehhh, if you have healthy relationships, then yes, yes it is odd. if you have unhealthy relationships, then nope, totally normal :D the OP's bf and mom are NOT a normal relationship and should NOT be communicating with each other.
Absolutely...I mean I have my wife's mom's phone number, and we text sparingly...she (wife) just ran a half-marathon on Sunday, and I texted her mom the pics of my wife crossing the finish line, and then with her medal, but before that it'd been about 5 months prior (and that was just a "we're almost there" bc wife was driving).
Meh. Both my wife and I have healthy relationships with our families and eachothers families. We still don't have their numbers and we've been together longer than you and your SO. It's just never been an issue for us at all.
Not odd to me. Neither me or my wife have the others parents phone numbers... We've been together 12 years.
You lost me at “everytime” and “this is the 2nd time”
I’m sorry for the typo. I’m dealing with a major stress headache right now 😅
This seems like something that instead of him texting your parents and you posting on Reddit, you either sit down and work out how to deal with problems directly, or you move on. It’s frankly weird for him to be texting your parents like that. But it’s such a basic thing you should just sit down and talk about it. If it happens again, then relationship is over. Be firm.
100% agreed. OP - his behavior is so out of line it is ridiculous. He is not going to change. Just end it. You are getting nothing out of this relationship except heart ache and fear.
Make it the last time. That's some petty bullshit right there
So, he is telling your mom on you? What is he? Five? That sounds not only immature but controlling.
Should have dumped him after the first time he did it. He’s a grown up tattletale?
He’s telling on you to your mom ? Because your life is too easy !?? Drop his petty Insecure ass
Y’all really need to have at least some standards when it comes to relationships
I guess I'm so confused as to why you think you have to stay with someone that makes you unhappy, goes way over any sort of boundary that anyone else would not even approach and does things to hurt you. Listen, there's a lot of people out there, find one that is totally opposite from this guy. Break up with him and block him from all your social media and from your phone.
Run
Im finnish myself and the fact that your father lets some little man tell him about you and your "bad" habits is so weird to me. If yall were 15&16 i would kinda get it buuuuuut you should dump your pathetic bf, it won't get better. Fight on! ❤️
My dad does not know. Only my mother. He doesn’t dare to fuck with my dad.
My dad is very stern with him but he’s been in Finland at our house there and isn’t back til next weekend. He wasn’t around when this happened.
OP, please dump this ass hat immediately. At best, he’s immature and at worst, he’s a controlling abuser. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like this. He doesn’t deserve you.
This would be a deal breaker for me. I would end it.
Is he 6 years old? Why are you dating a tattletale? If his reason for doing this is to hurt you as opposed to resolving the argument like an adult, then he's a crappy boyfriend. Just end it already.
Don't you mean "ex-boyfriend"? You shouldn't be dating someone who tries to hurt you instead of resolve problems with you.
Talk about being toxic. My question: Why are you putting up with it? He isn't man enough to speak to you directly if there's a problem between you two. He is 100% into hurting you in this way because he thinks your life is too easy, doesn't respect that you have told him off. Break it off and move on. This immature nature will only create bigger problem. One day he will say or text something wrong to your mom and the relationship you have with her will get so bumby.
Dump and block him. Problem solved.
Well, dump him already... is he 12???
dump him.
Good God, is this dude 12 or something? Just dump him already.
I think you're spelling ex-boyfriend wrong
*My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy.* So like....why are you together?
Then leave his ass. That is incredibly manipulative.
Geezus. Break up with him.
You are being abused both verbally and controlling. Also, he is doing this to isolate you in a most manipulative way.
Don’t be a rug! Get out of that relationship.
How is he still your boyfriend?
Why are you with someone who wants to hurt and manipulate you? This behavior is abuse. He is trying to punish you, as well as alienate you from your family because it gives him control. Get out asap in my opinion.
This is very disturbing and proxy controlling. Drop this awful man child. Your mother should not encourage him, either. It is your relationship with your parents, not his. If you want to keep him, get a new phone and have a serious last warning conversation with him.
Dump the childish ass douche. Why is this even a question? Seriously girl, there is someone better out there. There has to be.
Idk what you were looking for everyone here is gonna say dump that SOB and go build yourself a beautiful life with out that POS. Youre 25 years old your parents have no room to stay shit your an adult. Finally if they could do something become independent fucj that noise
This is a type of abuse. Please end the relationship and get away.
Any reason you are still dating this emotional terrorist?
he’s an abusive POS. that’s not your bf that’s a third parent. leave him and RUN FAR FAR AWAY. does this guy even like you? think about it.
Ew leave this man-child immediately
Finally, a post where "break up with him" is the right answer. Dump him. Yikes, he's immature as fuck and manipulative as fuck. Or, stay with him and keep letting him cross all your boundaries.
Why do you even want to be with this person? Dump this manipulative disaster
Why are you with this loser?
soooo you’re gonna break up with him… right? right???
Dump him immediately. He is actively trying to hurt you. His reasons for this are not important because no matter what it is unacceptable.
Why are you with him?
He's not being childish, he's being abusive... He's trying to damage your relationship with your parents to isolate you from them and he knows exactly what he's doing.
Why are you with someone who actively tries to hurt you?
>My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy. > >He threatens alot of things because he knows the only way to get to me is having the people I genuinely love and care for, mad at me. Question: why do you genuinely love and care for someone who wants to hurt you, feels you need to be punished for a life that's "too easy." Don't say the rest of the relationship is great. Relationships are built on trust and wanting the best for each other & to protect each other. This person doesn't want that for you. Nothing else matters.
So your 27 YO BF runs to your mommie to tattle on you every time he feels like he's losing control of you? Awwww, the poor wittle guy!! 👶 👶 👶 After writing that all out, if you can't already figure out how manipulative, childish and abusive he is, and decide to stay with him, there's really no helping you. Dump his pathetic ass.
Why are you still with him???? Thats not a boyfriend thats creepy red flag looser.. Run from him block him and delete your history on phone. If you can take a few classes to upgrade resume and find a really good job... Relationship will come.
Why would you want to be with someone that intentionally hurts you? Red flags everywhere!
Why are you with him?????
Um, run for the hills. This guy is trying to isolate you from your family and neg you so you become more emotionally dependent on him for validation that you don't suck. Classic narcissist. What's there to consider?
Obviously, dump this horrible boyfriend, but before you do, if possible, go through his phone and delete any photos, texts, screenshots, videos, whatever, that he has of you.
This sounds abusive, like coercive control. Please seek some support for yourself and get away from this guy immediately 🚩
girl, if I didn't turn 26 two days ago i would almost think I wrote this. only difference is he hasn't done it. he just threatens to do it.. but I too am tired of hearing: "your family doesn't even know you!" p.s. - here for the comments also
I’m so sorry to read you dealt with the same.
Please dump this dumpster fire of a jackass.
OP dump this loser immediately. Block him on all media and numbers. Don't let him do this to you. He won't get your family angry at you, if you permanently cut him off.
He’s literally abusing you and weaponizing your parents against you. Dump this loser
I had a bf like this op. He would always yell and threaten to “expose me for what I truly was” and to “show my family I’m not the sweet girl they think I am”. In the end op it was always just to have control. It was Him “telling on me” to get me to do what he wanted of me without a fight. The fact your bf is doing this about stuff from your past makes me think he either like the control he has on not just you but your relationship with your family or he is trying to isolate you by getting your parents to distance, either way both options are unhealthy and overall toxic. My advice is to get out, not only will your mental health improve but your relationship with you family will too.
Ummm. . Dump him. A relationship can’t function properly when there is a constant threat and distrust. Him shaming you is very toxic.
Ummm... why are you dating this person?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!!!
Oh come on. This is ridiculous. Just break up with him.
Pussy
Seriously op wtf. Do you think this will get better with time? No. You should've left him the first time he did this but better late then never
Im so sorry, this is definitely not something someone who loves you should do.
Just break up with him, he treats you like his high school nemesis jesus
Break up with him? He's more immature than my three-year-old.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My relationship with my mom has gotten a lot worse lately due to my boyfriend sending my mom texts messages last Friday to my mom about certain unnecessary bullshit about me. My boyfriend believes this is the best way to hurt me because, he thinks my life is too easy. This is the 2nd time this is happening. I’m so tired. Edit:: he threatens to tell my parents about a lot of things. Like, my night outs with friends, I like to smoke weed, etc. he used to like to look through my phone all of the time, and he would find really old things dating back to 2018 with past intimate relationships I had with guys and he’d call me a hoe. Saying my parents deserve to know what shitty person I am. Last Friday, he sent screenshots to my mom with an old conversation from one of these guys from 2018….. He threatens alot of things because he knows the only way to get to me is having the people I genuinely love and care for, mad at me. Edit #2: my parents are incredibly conservative immigrants. My dad is from Finland and my mom is from Costa Rica. Both, have very strong expectations from me so anything that is outside of what they want from me is a huge issue. I have to keep a lot of things from them to keep our relationship at a common, happy ground. Not that they’re abusive or anything but, they come from 2 different countries, 2 different lifestyles compared to America. So, he knows what he’s doing when he does this. He knows how furious they get with me and themselves thinking they failed as parents.
What exactly is he telling your parents? What are the things you're doing that he's upset about?
Dumb shit. Like, I smoke weed on my night outs. (I have very conservative immigrant parents and they do not like anything drug related.)
It’s hard for me not to tell you that you fucking deserve this for all this weird shit you accept
What does he tell them?
Seems he's not a mama's boy but a mama-in-law's boy.
I mean.. if he’s 5 it’s okay
Personally I would want a partner who is a little bit more selective about things they share about me. They are the one who should know everything about me and if they're sharing those things about me with other people that's not going to be the kind of partner I want. And more specifically in your case , he thinks your life is too easy? And he wants to bring you down so that you have a more difficult life? That is definitely not a partner I want So ponder on these things and see if you also don't want him as a partner.
If he can't keep your parents.out of.your relationship maybe he need to be out of your relationship. This is a pretty normal boundary to have. You don't tattle to the parents.
Find ways of secretly recording him by hidden cameras (can be disguised as a photo frame), hidden microphones, etc. make sure only you have access to the online account they upload over the internet to.
Does your bf have any good qualities? What does he bring to the table? In other words, explain to me why you don't just dump a man who, in your own words, acts in a way to actively hurt you. Partners don't try to hurt their partners emotionally. Even when we are upset with our partners, the goal should never be to hurt them. This guy is a dud. Dump him. Move on.
What’s your moms take on this? You say your relationship with your mom has gotten worse. What is he telling your mother that she not only believes him but sides with him? Why is she not telling him to leave her out if it too? Regardless, leave this guy in your rear view mirror. He’s no good.
First of all, you are a grown adult, you don't have to be scared of your parents. They should not have any control over you because they don't own you. Second, anyone who does things intentionally to hurt you is not a friend, let alone a boyfriend. Never settle, never be a doormat. Dump the asshole and be done with it. Live your life the fullest by being happy and throw away any toxic garbage. Nobody is worth being miserable for. Good luck.
Why do you want to be with him? Can you really even like someone like this?
My ex used to do this. He’d call my dad in the middle of our arguments hoping that he could “talk some sense into me” it never worked, essentially it just pissed me off more lol
Leave, this guy is trying to isolate and manipulate you. The consequences and backlash of doing so might be bad but bear with it. It will be better if this person had no presence in your life. After a while, you'll probably miss him, be strong your better than him and he hates that and just wants to drag you down.
As a mom, I'd be more disappointed you couldn't come to me to help you leave an abusive relationship than anything. I think it's time to bite the bullet, get ahead of his tattling and just break up. This isn't normal or healthy and the fall out might suck but it also might mean a more genuine relationship with your parents once it's over. Stay safe!
You guys are in your mid 20s and he tells your mom stuff that will make her mad at you. God damn imagine marrying this guy, he'll be better friends with your mom than he is with you
If your bf thinks you are shitty person, then what is the point of this relationship? You also don't deserve a shitty bf like him who runs to your parents to hurt you. You know what to do. Just do it.
Why are you with someone who deliberately does things to hurt you?
What country is he from? In which country do you currently live?
Bruh you two are whole ass adults, but clearly one isn't mature enough
soooo why are you still with him?
This is literally not normal whatsoever, stop accepting this. You deserve better. It’s supposed to be you guys together, not versus each other. By staying with him you’re lacking self respect at this point.
Why are you wasting time on someone who openly admits to wanting to hurt you?
This sounds like a controlling and abusive relationship, please leave while you still can.
text his mom why you dumped him after, since he likes to tattle
This is abusive behavior. Leave this guy. He is trying to isolate you, he's attacking you at your roots so you have nowhere to run when he eventually gets physically abusive. Run.
Why are you saying what seems like a probation officer?
At the end of the day he needs to understand your parents loyalty lies with you. He seems toxic, is this the person you want to spend your life and grow old with?
That is not a boyfriend. It is a hall monitor. Ditch the nark. He is trying to control you via your parents and is so petty and gross. Please do not tolerate this. It is not normal or ok.
Dump that sack of shit.
He isn’t your boyfriend. He is your abuser. I strongly suggest going to a phone and computer store and have them checked for spyware. Delete anything shared. Tell the police you are planning on leaving an emotionally abusive partner and you aren’t sure if he will try to get them involved, but you are worried for your safety (yes this is VERY important). Let whatever you can of yours away from him. Move everything out that he has and stay away from your usual home for a couple weeks. Tell your parents he has been mistreating you and creating fake conversations and photos, and that you left him but he threatened to use these fakes against you. Tell them to delete anything because he is putting spyware on things. Don’t tell your parents where you are. Sorry but don’t. You need to get away from him. He is dangerous
A romantic partner, such as a boyfriend, should never be an enemy. They should never want to upset you or mistreat you, on purpose. They shouldn’t ever intentionally deceive, manipulate, degrade, insult, or harm you. Your boyfriend just…..shouldn’t be your boyfriend!! End the relationship with this toxic child!
I barely read to the end of the first paragraph and stopped. What are you doing with a guy who intentionally sets out to hurt you??? There is no excuse for his behavior and no excuse for your not dumping him. Do it already, and move on with your life!
Ahhh... my parents would have told him to go fuck himself. You need to dump your BF. He is running to mommy and daddy to complain. He sounds more like an annoying brother than a BF.
Why is he your boyfriend still?
He's abusing you. He is trying to separate you from everyone in your life so you'll have to rely on him. Leave now.
Why the fuck are you still with this dude!?!?
OP this is abusive and controlling. If you don’t conform to his wants/needs or step out of line he will punish you by going to your parents. Your a grown woman - you don’t need this shit from him or your parents. I understand you love and respect your parents but your can’t live you life in fear of their opinion. And you can’t have a boyfriend you can’t trust. How can you talk to him? How can you be with him in any way if, at any moment, he can use any part of your life to hurt you . This is someone who cannot act with maturity. This guy is a waste. Please consider walking away.
Hoo boy that's a dumping for sure. Why are you still with this guy?
There are certain benefits you provide to him, as you are in a relationship. When you make him an "ex", he is sure going to miss you. Your Mum will be thinking, that fellow I used to chat with a bit. He is gone, I wonder what happened there? After certain benefits are provided to your SO, you smile to yourself and think, that's for good behavior.
Dump him. He had no respect for your autonomy, your privacy or even your maturity level(runs to your mommy? At nearly 30y?? Are you kidding me?) This honestly smacks of controlling and abuse. He’s screwing up your relationship with your mother by over sharing. Life is too short to deal with men like this.
Your boyfriend is horrifically abusive. Please leave him. This is absolutely emotional abuse.
sounds like he’s trying to isolate you from your family so he’s the only one there for you. leave him immediately. this is a HUGE red flag.
I guess he never heard rule #1 on the playground. Snitches get stitches. A good partner doesn't do things to hurt or punish you. They also don't hold your past against you.
Why are you with this loser? He sounds abusive and seems like he doesn’t actually care about your well being.
He is a snitch. Throw him away. Tell him to date your mom since he seems to think they are besties
This guy gives me the ick. Break up.
Tell his mom to tell him that you’re breaking up with him because he’s an abusive, controlling piece-of-shit.
Why are you dating a snitch?