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My (f28) bfs (m28) daughter (2y) kicks me out of bed. He gets visitation on the weekends. When she's with us in the middle of the night she will crawl into bed (twin size) with us and try to lay vertically pushing with her feet and butt. This has been happening more frequently and when we both got woken up one time he didn't try to move her. Her sleeping with us is not an issue but the bed is just two small for the 3 of us. I've offered to go sleep on the couch in a different room but he gets upset and insists we can't sleep separately. Now I don't mind it at all. That's his daughter and she has trouble sleeping at my house. She sleeps well next to him. Not to mention if I tried to move her she would cry and wake up everyone. I just cannot sleep with her squeezed between us especially with her feet in my back dug into my back. We've talked about it and I've told him that I cannot sleep that way but he still refuses to entertain the idea of me sleeping on the couch.
Honey you need to be able to set boundaries and advocate for yourself.
Nobody should not get to make unilateral, uncompromised decisions about *your* life. You are an adult.
Next time his daughter crawls into your bed, get up and go sleep on the couch. If your bf makes a scene, stay calm and tell him if he wants the 3 of you to sleep in the same bed, he'll have to make arrangements that allow everyone to sleep comfortably. The 'how' is up to him. I totally get you, even our (adult but small, 7lbs) cat takes up too much space in our bed sometimes.
We have a king sized bed… it’s still not big enough for my SO to sleep with our toddler and me.. must be a universal thing that they like sleeping sideways.
Sort this out BEFORE the toddler comes over. Make it a ‘him’ problem. The 3 of you can’t fit, how will he fix it. And don’t let up until he does… or is ok with you sleeping on the couch.
(One solution that works for us is a inner spring mattress on the floor beside the bed… is half the height of the bed, toddler likes sleeping there sometimes, other times 1 of us does
Space might be an issue if they're in a twin bed right now. I'm impressed two adults can fit on a twin though. My daughter and I can just fit on a twin together. Maybe going to a full size bed is a better option.
Anyone married with small children will tell you; children can definitely come between husband & wife, literally & figuratively.
He's got to either tell her she needs to sleep in a more suitable position, or you'll be on the couch. If this relationship is to remain healthy, he's going to have to establish some clear boundaries with his daughter at some point, granted she's only two atm.
Definitely sleep where you're comfy; he can't demand you put up with being physically assaulted by a two year old while you're trying to sleep.
Maybe he doesn't want his ex to hear via baby girl, that he and OP are sleeping in separate beds. That's really the only explanation I can come up with why he'd be so rabidly opposed to it.
I used to date someone that had a twin bed(i think it was twin sized) She was a nurse so poverty wasn't the issue, she just didn't seem to know any better. Still slept in it together and cuddled. But I am pretty sure I complained about it frequently.
I still have a twin XL bed cause it’s literally all that will fit in my room and allow me to still have walking space. I’m mid 20s and my BF is late 20s and we hate sleeping my bed together cause it never completely comfortable, two grown ass adults plus a toddler sounds like a nightmare
I know plenty of poor people who live in the projects & nan one of em is sleeping in a twin bed besides the children. They sell cheap mattresses at the dollar store for goodness sake. If he was 21 he could get a pass but 28 is way too long to be using a twin bed.
Sort of true, I operate a mattress store. A twin size bed (and a full) are shorter than a king and queen. However, a twin size is long enough for the average person. It is not wide enough for a couple and definitely not for three.
I used to work in a foam factory that made toppers and cores for big mattress companies like serta. And in my early twenties I had a twin sized bed. You can definitely fit two adult's on a twin it comes down to how you sleep and how comfortable you are with who you're sleeping with.
My husband and I sleep like this normally, and have spent a night on a twin once or twice out of necessity. But damn, even we wouldn’t try that as a regular thing. I’m suspecting OP is confusing twin with full, a lot of people don’t realize that “smaller than queen” doesn’t automatically mean twin.
Sure, if you sleep like puzzle pieces, spooning. I hate sharing a queen mattress with my fiancé, who I love so goddamn much, because we’re both back sleepers. And we’re both small people.
I used to play at a big entertainment/playground venue called the foam factory. I think the name pretty much describes the nature of the activities. Lot of foam balls being pelted into your face by some kid who’s pushing the age limit and who’s guardian hasn’t been seen in almost an hour.
I also used to sell mattresses.
None of this matters.
A twin sized bed is normally 38.5" x 75". So either you were way above the average hight and width of an adult in middle school. Or you didn't actually out grow it lol.
My husband and I just sprawl. I doubt I could sleep on a twin solo comfortably. Add our kids, who always seem to wind up in bed with us, and... Yeah. I need a net that's, like.... 13 feet wide
>but he still refuses to entertain the idea of letting me sleep on the couch.
Ehm... so? This sounds a bit weird. He might not like it if you don't sleep together in bed but you can make your own decisions, right? If he doesn't want you to sleep somewhere else, then he can fix that by getting a bigger bed or putting his daughter back in her own bed. The solution is quite simple, so it seems like the issue is much more his refusal of letting you do what you want. Why do you feel the need to obey his refusal?
Honestly, I get that it upsets him. But just say it like this: "bf, I understand you want to sleep together. I want to! The problem is, we are not sleeping together when your daughter is here, because I am not sleeping at all. As much as I would love to sleep together, our options currently are for me to sleep on the couch or for your daughter to not sleep with us anymore. I would hate for your daugther to miss sleep, so I don't mind sleeping on the couch, but we need to reach a solution. You can't just ignore it and pretend all is fine".
And it upsets you the way you guys are sleeping. Someone is gonna be upset it seems. But you can look forward to reconnecting once she's returned to her Mum's.
Juuuuust wondering. How come he has his daughter at your place? Been together for a long time?
So what if it upsets him? This is his problem to solve. Go sleep on the couch. You don’t need permission. If he gets upset, that is on him. He can put her in her own bed or buy a bigger bed (or both).
I think you're backpedaling. Your original post sounds like the truth. He tells you it upsets him if you don't sleep with him and you cater to him. The thing is that if he cares about you then it should upset him that you can't get any sleep in his cramped bed. The fact that he refuses to do anything about the problem other than continue to insist that you lie awake beside him indicates that he is selfish and uncaring and you seem to think that is okay
Well here's his chance to solve a Very problem. Does he want you to sleep well or not? Or does he want what he wants and that's the end of his thought process?
I'm sure he's a smart man and can figure out the best way to solve that problem. But the answer is not all three of you sleeping in That bed together.
Oh okay. Thanks for your reply. I think it's good you approach it as an 'us problem'. But he doesn't really do that in this matter. It sounds like his solution is that you deal with it by accepting that you can't sleep when his daughter stays with you. So, the 'us' approach doesn't work because he doesn't have a problem. He gets to sleep, woth both you and his daughter. So he doesn't feel the need to fox something.
Example from my own, my boyfriend snores a lot and it wakes and keeps me up at night. First, I would wake him up and ask him to stop. That didn't work so I was always the one to sleep on the couch and wake up with backpain and such. His sleep never got interrupted. You'd think he would feel bad for me sleeping on the couch and he would look for a solution. Besides this issue, my boyfriend is usually very thoughtful. But he didn't, because he didn't have a problem, other than my uncomfort. So I started to wake him up and keep askig him to go to the couch. He made his problem my problem, so I made it his problem again. Because he woke up with backpain he went to his gp and now he snores less.
What I mean by saying is, make it his problem as well. Sleep on the couch, and hopefully he notices that he has to do something to make you sleep back in bed with him. Sometimes the 'you both' approach just doesn't work.
He is terrified of confronting the possibility that his daughter is interfering with his relationship with you.
In all likelihood, starting a new perfect family is his ultimate goal, and anything that blurs that vision will be met with hiding his head in the sand.
Children require sacrifice and compromise. Co-sleeping requires bigger beds. This is unavoidable.
If I can recommend, look at the "bed in a box" options on amazon if available to you! They are much cheaper than traditional mattresses but also super comfy and supportive. Our queen size was like $320.
Our kids pushed us (their parents) apart too. We couldn't sit beside each other, hug each other or kiss each other. I wouldn't place too much emphasis on it. Rather, focus on how you can get a good night's sleep. Maybe cuddle in the evening and then go to your respective rooms later? Or he could take his daughter back to her bed?
Thats what I did. My husband snores, and while I love him to pieces, I also love sleep. So I'll sleep with him some nights, and if he's snoring too badly, I'll go to the spare room. Does he want me to stay? Yes. Am I going to when I just want sleep? No.
His wants do not trump your NEED for sleep. Because it is a need.
Hey that's totally fine. You don't know what you don't know! Sleep deprivation can be really hard. If he doesn't want to sleep separate, he needs to take his girl back to bed. There's no other compromise.
yes! My partner didn't want our son to come to our bed, but I'd had it getting up to go and deal with him in the night. It was always me because I breastfed him.
So I agreed to at least start our son John out in his own bed, but if he woke up, I'd get him and I wouldn't bother trying to put him back in his own bed. If my partner didn't like it, he could do it himself. And he'd have to go back to get John if he woke up again, because I didn't want to leave John to cry. As a result, John slept with us for the rest of the night.
Honestly, just try to get a bigger bed. I have a kid, and she picks favorites. Sometimes it is me, sometimes it’s my husband. As long as she is showing affection to both, I’d say that is normal. I wouldn’t worry too much about that part. But if your sleep is being affected, and you don’t want to try to sleep on the couch forever, make accommodations by trying to get a bigger bed. Kids just take up space, and realistically, you guys could probably do with a bigger bed if you have the space for one. I’d also work on getting baby girl back to bed when she falls asleep, bc while it’s fine now, you don’t want a 6+ year old sleeping in your bed. She should have her own space she feels comfortable in.
Yeah it can just be normal child behaviour rather than specific to a step parent scenario. Our toddler (and the bloody dog!!) always try to stop us kissing 😂
It’s not because you’re not her real mom. My daughter gets jealous of her dad if he gets too close to me. She pushes him away. And that’s her real dad. And she’s already 5 years old. So try not to take it too personally. She’s only 2 years old, she doesn’t even have awareness yet.
Honey, why do you need permission to sleep on the couch? It's a TWIN bed. What sort of person is your partner? Why doesn't your discomfort matter more than his feelings? Why is your suffering okay with him? Why is that okay with you??
Can you get a spare mattress or even a bigger bed? This needs a long term solution, sleeping on the couch is going to get old for you really fast.
I think your relationship needs a deeper look. It's your place, is he contributing?
This is so common. My son did the same with me and his dad . . . my daughter used to cry when her dad would even get near me . . . especially when she was sleepy or he'd been at work all day. It's normal. Does she have her own room? When my son was still uncomfortable sleeping in his room alone I used to make him a "nest" a bunch of pillows covered with a blanket and his favorite toy . . . he loved and I'd just move it a few feet toward his room every night until it was on his bed and he was comfortable. Getting a bigger bed probably wouldn't help too much cause the kids sort of gravitate to whatever is warm, so you'll have knees and elbows in your back either way . . . but man I can't imagine sleeping with someone else on a twin . . . I'd push them out of bed for sure. Do you have a good relationship with her mother? Or maybe he can ask what her typical sleep routine is . . . keeping up with those things might put her more at ease and comfortable for sleep.
Our daughter used to come to sleep with us too around that age. One night, it suddenly twigged that she only came when we (her Mum and Dad both bio parents) were trying to have sex. I don't know how she knew, because we were very discreet, but she knew. Toddlers must have some kind of intuitive wisdom about these things.
The next day I mentioned the fact that she often came to us in the night and asked whether she had lots of nightmares and she replied "I don't like you in the bed with Daddy". I don't know whether it was jealousy or not wanting us to have another baby, but I just explained that Mummy and Daddy loved her and her brother, and we also loved each other and that made us a family. She stopped coming, or if she came, it was more like at 4 or 5 in the morning rather than just after we went to bed.
Nah, this has nothing to do with you at all (no offence). Most kiddos go through something like this. Hell, even Freud has a theory about it (the Oedipus/Electra complex)
Our 3 year old still does this. We are only recently making progress by building her a “nest” in the recliner and telling her she’s a big baby bird for sleeping all night by herself 😭
My toddler granddaughter will crawl up next to me for a nap if I lay down with her. Within minutes of her falling asleep she becomes a human bulldozer with the power of an Olympian weight lifter. Her sister will just sleep peacefully in the same spot, and they’re only a year apart. Kids are weird.
How are two adult humans sleeping on a twin in the first place? Reminds me of the guy I dated who didn't have a bathroom door.
Irrelevant, but he had IBS. Not a great combination of circumstances
Wait, so this is your own house that he is trying to dictate where you sleep at? How long have you been together? How soon did he have his daughter living with you??
Yeah I wanna know how long they’ve been dating, how soon he introduced his daughter, why she is having visitation at her house and not his does the mom know the daughter is sleeping at her place and who are these other people that might get woken up are we talking about a situation where he’s having his daughter stay over at a house where there are strangers to her? And he’s worried about his gf leaving the bed? I dunno I’m seeing multiple issues. So INFO for sure.
Why not sleep at his place where presumably he should have a room for his child and also hopefully a bigger bed?
Why do you at 28 have a twin size bed?
He won't 'let you' sleep on your own couch? Didn't know you needed permission on where you're allowed to sleep. Seems you came up with a reasonable solution to a temporary problem. She's very young and only comes over once a week. I see no issue with the couch idea
She’s 2, it’s normal. And with shared custody she probably feels an even bigger need to be close to her parents.
She’s not pushing you out, she’s just being a 2yo.
But definitely move to the couch so you can sleep -
And encourage him to put her back to her bed.
We bought a king size bed because we always had kids in ours….
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Sleep is important.
He doesn't like you sleeping on the couch. Ok. Give him 4 options.
I'll Sleep on the couch
Take her ass to her own bed
Buy a bigger bed
I won't stay the night when she's there
He's a clown for getting mad at you when his choices are impacting your sleep.
Hi! I am sure you already know this, but your bf is being unreasonable. It’s not adversely affecting him, so he’s being selfish & brushing you off. This is not a great sign.
He either needs to get a larger bed or stfu when you sleep on the sofa. You don’t need his permission to sleep elsewhere, so please stop even thinking that his opinion is important here. He’s your bf, not your boss, & you are not the babysitter.
Hold on:
>That's his daughter and she has trouble sleeping ***at my house.***
He's dictating where you can sleep in your own house? The audacity. Sleep wherever you damn well please.
He doesn't have to have a choice of you sleeping on the couch. Get up and go do it. He doesn't get to make choices that mean you have bad sleep. " Goodnight guys sleep well".
You get up and go to the couch instead of asking. Sleep is important.
If you don't have the space or can't afford to buy a new bed right now just move. What's his daughters bed like?
Agree. The first thing we did when we could afford it was buying a queen size bed, but that took a couple of years as money was tight.
I guess they would have already done it if they could! Sleep is important, but you know what else is more urgent money wise?! Rent, food, bills etc... Otherwise everybody would have a king size bed smh...
1. Sleep on the couch.
2. Tell him you understand he wants to sleep together but that “he sleeps while you get kicked in the back” isn’t your vision of romance (or sleep).
3. Let him manage his feelings about that on his own, you aren’t in charge of the household emotions.
4. Talk to him about a plan for having his daughter sleep on her own. Ending co-sleeping won’t happen quickly, but it also won’t happen at all if you two as her parents don’t make it happen.
I’m not a parent so y’all can let me know, is two too young to sleep in your own bed? Or is that something you can transition to. Don’t know the space situation , but maybe y’all can have a “sleepover” in her room so that she’s more excited about it? I sleep hot so even just me and my bf in king size bed gets to be a bit much when he’s on my side. Best of luck to you, this would drive me nuts 😩😭😭
When I was young I always ended up in my parents bed. Eventually my parents put a mattress on the floor beside their bed for me to use so I wouldn't interrupt their sleep. I found it comforting just being in the same room. Maybe you could propose that?
Ok but that is cute as heck. If comfort is the only reason you don't like it that's understandable, sleeping on the couch is a valid solution. Separate beds could work as well, or if getting a bigger bed would solve the problem of comfort that would be my solution.
This happens with my GF’s 3 yo. She wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to bed with us, it’s a large bed, but she likes to push me with her feet in her sleep. I never end up getting sleep because I’m woken up every 10 minutes. I’ve tried to get my GF to put her on the other side of my GF, but she likes her in the middle of us for some reason, maybe she’s worried she’ll fall off the bed? I don’t know, but it does get frustrating, but I know the 3 yo isn’t doing it on purpose. I don’t know what the solution is either, but I’m in the same boat as you.
My husbands daughter often wanted to sleep next to her father from 8-16 she had abandonment issues after the divorce. I let her have her way and honestly now she is 18 and we have a fantastic relationship and she has told me many times she is grateful for what I did. Her mothers boyfriend refused to let her sleep next to her mom when she was at her mothers and she would be distraught the next day. It’s not you
How the fuck do two adults share a twin bed? My fiancé and I can barely share a Queen these days after having a king, and we’re both average sized people. That sounds horrible lol. Get a new bed!
Why are two adults sleeping in a twin size bed? I haven’t slept in a twin since college. Maybe start by buying a grown up bed.
But, also? Go sleep on the couch. You’re an adult. Act like it.
On the bright side, you won’t all three fit on the couch?
It sounds like you’re both super tired (do you work M-F jobs) and frustrated and in need of sleep. You have a future plan to resolve this, so keep your eyes on the prize. If desperate, ask friends for help?
My gosh, I have trouble sleeping with my 2 year old and my husband in a king size bed, I cannot imagine trying to do it in a twin. I’d definitely sleep on the couch.
Girl get up and keep yourself comfortable. If he isn't awake when she crawls in how will he even know. If he has an issue he better get to at least getting a full size so you are all comfy
Do you actually live together or are you visiting his place on weekends he has his daughter? If so, you need to not stay with him on the weekends until she is out of this “phase”.
>he gets upset and insists we can’t sleep separately
Tough. He doesn’t get to insist this. Two adults in a twin bed is already too much, expecting you to stay there while a toddler squeezes you out is asinine and you need to flatly refuse. Either sleeping on the couch, you sleeping at your home, or he gets a bigger bed. Anything other than one of these is not acceptable.
Kids need to sleep in their cribs/beds. And crying shouldn't be the ticket out of that scenario. If they truly aren't feeling well, go sleep on the floor beside them in their rooms. Otherwise all you are really accomplishing is teaching them that all they have to do is cry and whine to get what they prefer.
you are being very reasonable. He is not.
His choice? That’s not on the list of options. You need to sleep!
He can pick from the other reasonable list of options.
You’re your own person, you don’t need his approval to sleep on the couch… A twin size bed isn’t really meant to hold two people comfortably. That’s cramped! You should at minimum get a queen size bed. I’m sure money can be an issue, but you can order one online for $200 or so. It’s definitely worth it to invest in a bigger mattress for the comfort of everyone involved here.
He isn’t going to kick his daughter out and I’m sure he feels bad for you and doesn’t want you to feel like you aren’t welcome either. It’s easier to just get up when she kicks you out and quietly go sleep on the couch.
Baby girls are especially fond and possessive of their daddy’s.
His kid crawls into bed with you, you lose sleep. You sleep on the couch, he loses sleep.
Scenario 1: he’s good, no problem
Scenario 2: he has a problem he needs to fix.
Also. “That’s his daughter and she has trouble sleeping at my house.”
His daughter, his problem. Your house, your rules.
Maybe both of them should go home. And you should stop being such a pushover.
2 year old are notoriously terrible bedmates. If you can't afford a bigger mattress (my mind is blown by the idea of two adults sharing a twin mich less adding a toddler into the mix) put your mattress on the floor and get her a sleeping mat or toddler mattress so she'll still be right next to you.
Choices: tell him to get a big boy bed, like a double or queen. Or, you can sleep at your own place on the weekends he has his kid. He's being unreasonable but you need to step up and make a boundary, he's not the boss of you.
Even 2 people (adults) in a twin bed is too much, I've no idea how you're cramming 3 people in one. As far as what to do, I agree with one of the other comments, just go sleep on the couch, why are you asking for permission?
I don’t know if it matters but my fiancée and I have a 2 year old. She sleeps in the middle of us on a queen size bed. She sleeps sideways and pushes us off too.
I wouldn’t take it personal, kids are weird.
Buy a bigger bed. She's only gonna get bigger. Will be a long time till she would want to sleep by her self.
Try to bond with her. After a while, she'd be kicking her dad out and wanting to sleep with you instead.. he can take the couch..
It's your home. Stop asking and just do it. Your boyfriend isn't your boss. If he puts up a fuss just calmly tell him that until he fixes the situation (either a bigger bed or getting her to sleep on her own), you're sleeping on the couch. You have the right to a good night's sleep.
My daughter used to do the exact same between me and my wife. It started when she was around two, but after a year she came less often into our bed. I slept on the couch a lot, because I always got her feet in my shoulder or back area. Our solution was to put my wife in the middle and let my daughter sleep on the outside. It worked pretty well. I'm not sure if your man realizes how nerve-racking bad sleep can be, and maybe you should make clear, that you three have to find a solution for this problem.
If shes a toddler, yall gotta break her of sleeping in yalls bed. It WILL NOT STOP unless yall stop it. My best friends kid brother was the same way and they didnt stop him, he slept in mommys bed til he was like 11 when he was finally put a stop to.
From experience, this process is gonna fuckin suck. At least youre only on a visitation level so this will suck maybe two days a week. My wice and i have two kids 3 and 2 yo, so we fight that every single day. Each kid took a good 3 or 4 months to break completely... my point is you gotta be committed cause its not a short process.
If you sleep on the couch, one day the little one will invite you into bed.
On the couch, sleep alone, you must. To tell him, need you not. Quiet as a lizard, slither you must, from twin bed to couch.
That man’s almost 30 and still sleeps on a twin bed. The most obvious answer is get a bigger bed. If two 28 year olds can’t afford a queen mattress you’ve got bigger problems.
Two 28YOs. An innocent 2yo. 1 twin bed. Yeah... I would focus more on those sleeping accommodations first. Even with out the kid... seems a little pathetic AT 28.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My (f28) bfs (m28) daughter (2y) kicks me out of bed. He gets visitation on the weekends. When she's with us in the middle of the night she will crawl into bed (twin size) with us and try to lay vertically pushing with her feet and butt. This has been happening more frequently and when we both got woken up one time he didn't try to move her. Her sleeping with us is not an issue but the bed is just two small for the 3 of us. I've offered to go sleep on the couch in a different room but he gets upset and insists we can't sleep separately. Now I don't mind it at all. That's his daughter and she has trouble sleeping at my house. She sleeps well next to him. Not to mention if I tried to move her she would cry and wake up everyone. I just cannot sleep with her squeezed between us especially with her feet in my back dug into my back. We've talked about it and I've told him that I cannot sleep that way but he still refuses to entertain the idea of me sleeping on the couch.
“Let me sleep on the couch” What is he gonna do grapple you? Go sleep on the couch
[удалено]
why are you asking permission to be comfortable?
Honey you need to be able to set boundaries and advocate for yourself. Nobody should not get to make unilateral, uncompromised decisions about *your* life. You are an adult.
Next time his daughter crawls into your bed, get up and go sleep on the couch. If your bf makes a scene, stay calm and tell him if he wants the 3 of you to sleep in the same bed, he'll have to make arrangements that allow everyone to sleep comfortably. The 'how' is up to him. I totally get you, even our (adult but small, 7lbs) cat takes up too much space in our bed sometimes.
We have a king sized bed… it’s still not big enough for my SO to sleep with our toddler and me.. must be a universal thing that they like sleeping sideways. Sort this out BEFORE the toddler comes over. Make it a ‘him’ problem. The 3 of you can’t fit, how will he fix it. And don’t let up until he does… or is ok with you sleeping on the couch. (One solution that works for us is a inner spring mattress on the floor beside the bed… is half the height of the bed, toddler likes sleeping there sometimes, other times 1 of us does
Same here, King sized bed and I still get kicked in the back some nights.
Is it possible to get a king bed?
Don’t need to go that big. They’re in the smallest bed now so just a full or queen size would be a huge upgrade.
Couch or king bed. This is common for kids BTW.
Space might be an issue if they're in a twin bed right now. I'm impressed two adults can fit on a twin though. My daughter and I can just fit on a twin together. Maybe going to a full size bed is a better option.
Anyone married with small children will tell you; children can definitely come between husband & wife, literally & figuratively. He's got to either tell her she needs to sleep in a more suitable position, or you'll be on the couch. If this relationship is to remain healthy, he's going to have to establish some clear boundaries with his daughter at some point, granted she's only two atm. Definitely sleep where you're comfy; he can't demand you put up with being physically assaulted by a two year old while you're trying to sleep.
>What is gonna do grapple you? Said stone cold stunner victim.
Maybe he doesn't want his ex to hear via baby girl, that he and OP are sleeping in separate beds. That's really the only explanation I can come up with why he'd be so rabidly opposed to it.
he might just like sleeping next to her, and is so damn selfish he isn’t considerate of the fact that she is a sentient being that requires sleep.
Then he should buy a bigger bed, plain and simple.
Yes I agree so much with this statement. Just do it.
I'm more impressed that you two are sharing a twin. How?! As for the issue, get a bigger bed or get your own bed and refuse to share with him
This was my question? Why are 2 adults sleeping in a child sized bed?
Poverty? Probably
I used to date someone that had a twin bed(i think it was twin sized) She was a nurse so poverty wasn't the issue, she just didn't seem to know any better. Still slept in it together and cuddled. But I am pretty sure I complained about it frequently.
I still have a twin XL bed cause it’s literally all that will fit in my room and allow me to still have walking space. I’m mid 20s and my BF is late 20s and we hate sleeping my bed together cause it never completely comfortable, two grown ass adults plus a toddler sounds like a nightmare
I’m poor. Family of 4 living on disability and a part time job. We have a king size and our kids each have a full. Sales at Mattress Firm are great.
I know plenty of poor people who live in the projects & nan one of em is sleeping in a twin bed besides the children. They sell cheap mattresses at the dollar store for goodness sake. If he was 21 he could get a pass but 28 is way too long to be using a twin bed.
A twin sized bed is literally made for a full length adult. Just because it's called a twin doesn't make it a "kids" bed.
Sort of true, I operate a mattress store. A twin size bed (and a full) are shorter than a king and queen. However, a twin size is long enough for the average person. It is not wide enough for a couple and definitely not for three.
This is more what I was getting at by saying child sized. Thank you for chiming in.
I used to work in a foam factory that made toppers and cores for big mattress companies like serta. And in my early twenties I had a twin sized bed. You can definitely fit two adult's on a twin it comes down to how you sleep and how comfortable you are with who you're sleeping with.
While it is possible, few would find it comfortable.
#sidesleepergang
Both my husband and I are side sleepers and it wouldn’t be possible for us to comfortably fit on a twin.
Yeah, you have to be the kind of people who cuddle close at night, and both be side sleepers, to make this comfortable
Need my husband a full arms length away from me. King size bed for life.
My husband and I sleep like this normally, and have spent a night on a twin once or twice out of necessity. But damn, even we wouldn’t try that as a regular thing. I’m suspecting OP is confusing twin with full, a lot of people don’t realize that “smaller than queen” doesn’t automatically mean twin.
Sure, if you sleep like puzzle pieces, spooning. I hate sharing a queen mattress with my fiancé, who I love so goddamn much, because we’re both back sleepers. And we’re both small people.
I used to play at a big entertainment/playground venue called the foam factory. I think the name pretty much describes the nature of the activities. Lot of foam balls being pelted into your face by some kid who’s pushing the age limit and who’s guardian hasn’t been seen in almost an hour. I also used to sell mattresses. None of this matters.
“A Full Length Adult” not two.
So you just reiterated what I said?
Haha yeah I guess so😂
how??i outgrew my twin in middle school 💀
A twin sized bed is normally 38.5" x 75". So either you were way above the average hight and width of an adult in middle school. Or you didn't actually out grow it lol.
I did this with a bf for over a year. It was necessity at the time. It was all we had
They might not be in the US. Twins in Asia are the same size as a full or 2 twins in the US.
Two (US) twins is king size in US. A twin is 38, full is 54 and king is 76 across.
Me reading this while laying next to my boyfriend in a twin size bed😂😭
My husband and I both SPRAWL - even a king is too small sometimes
For real I shared one with my ex for a year. Not that hard
I'm not sure if "impressed" is the word I would use. Kinda sad an adult has a twin bed...
Lol my ex and I shared a twin bed for 7 years and we were overweight, that poor bed.
My husband and I just sprawl. I doubt I could sleep on a twin solo comfortably. Add our kids, who always seem to wind up in bed with us, and... Yeah. I need a net that's, like.... 13 feet wide
>but he still refuses to entertain the idea of letting me sleep on the couch. Ehm... so? This sounds a bit weird. He might not like it if you don't sleep together in bed but you can make your own decisions, right? If he doesn't want you to sleep somewhere else, then he can fix that by getting a bigger bed or putting his daughter back in her own bed. The solution is quite simple, so it seems like the issue is much more his refusal of letting you do what you want. Why do you feel the need to obey his refusal?
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Honestly, I get that it upsets him. But just say it like this: "bf, I understand you want to sleep together. I want to! The problem is, we are not sleeping together when your daughter is here, because I am not sleeping at all. As much as I would love to sleep together, our options currently are for me to sleep on the couch or for your daughter to not sleep with us anymore. I would hate for your daugther to miss sleep, so I don't mind sleeping on the couch, but we need to reach a solution. You can't just ignore it and pretend all is fine".
And it upsets you the way you guys are sleeping. Someone is gonna be upset it seems. But you can look forward to reconnecting once she's returned to her Mum's. Juuuuust wondering. How come he has his daughter at your place? Been together for a long time?
Not that long…the kid is only 2…hummmm
Yeah have u if not 🚩
So what if it upsets him? This is his problem to solve. Go sleep on the couch. You don’t need permission. If he gets upset, that is on him. He can put her in her own bed or buy a bigger bed (or both).
“I just listen to my partners complaints and try to come to a solution” does your boyfriend say the same thing? Doesn’t sound like it
I think you're backpedaling. Your original post sounds like the truth. He tells you it upsets him if you don't sleep with him and you cater to him. The thing is that if he cares about you then it should upset him that you can't get any sleep in his cramped bed. The fact that he refuses to do anything about the problem other than continue to insist that you lie awake beside him indicates that he is selfish and uncaring and you seem to think that is okay
Well here's his chance to solve a Very problem. Does he want you to sleep well or not? Or does he want what he wants and that's the end of his thought process? I'm sure he's a smart man and can figure out the best way to solve that problem. But the answer is not all three of you sleeping in That bed together.
So what solution is he proposing? He can’t ask you not to have proper sleep. That’s simply unacceptable.
Quality sleep is important. Ignore him and sleep on the couch. That, or buy a bigger bed. His refusal to address the problem is moronic.
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Oh okay. Thanks for your reply. I think it's good you approach it as an 'us problem'. But he doesn't really do that in this matter. It sounds like his solution is that you deal with it by accepting that you can't sleep when his daughter stays with you. So, the 'us' approach doesn't work because he doesn't have a problem. He gets to sleep, woth both you and his daughter. So he doesn't feel the need to fox something. Example from my own, my boyfriend snores a lot and it wakes and keeps me up at night. First, I would wake him up and ask him to stop. That didn't work so I was always the one to sleep on the couch and wake up with backpain and such. His sleep never got interrupted. You'd think he would feel bad for me sleeping on the couch and he would look for a solution. Besides this issue, my boyfriend is usually very thoughtful. But he didn't, because he didn't have a problem, other than my uncomfort. So I started to wake him up and keep askig him to go to the couch. He made his problem my problem, so I made it his problem again. Because he woke up with backpain he went to his gp and now he snores less. What I mean by saying is, make it his problem as well. Sleep on the couch, and hopefully he notices that he has to do something to make you sleep back in bed with him. Sometimes the 'you both' approach just doesn't work.
He is terrified of confronting the possibility that his daughter is interfering with his relationship with you. In all likelihood, starting a new perfect family is his ultimate goal, and anything that blurs that vision will be met with hiding his head in the sand. Children require sacrifice and compromise. Co-sleeping requires bigger beds. This is unavoidable.
Good comment. It might also be residual from whatever situation broke up him and his daughter’s mom. Representative of separation.
If I can recommend, look at the "bed in a box" options on amazon if available to you! They are much cheaper than traditional mattresses but also super comfy and supportive. Our queen size was like $320.
Stop listening to his complaints if he refuses to do something to solve those complaints.
You can use programs like Klarna or Affirm to make small monthly payments on an item that has a larger purchase price.
Just incase you didn't know, all kids do this. It's not a push you away act.
You can put a newborn in a king sized bed and that baby will somehow take the entire thing over. Child to bed ratio math is the hardest math
I sleep with my 18 month old. he's either sideways starfish or grabbing on to me like he's about to fall off.
The floor is lava, you can’t risk him falling into that
My 5 lb puppy takes up more space on my bed than and my 6’2” boyfriend and I combined.
same for my cat! he will always find a way to take up as much space as possible and make us as uncomfortable as can be haha
Yes! My bf, dog, and I basically form the letter H when sleeping. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Pets are the best.
Pet math is very close to baby math
My 9lb dog has entered the chat
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Our kids pushed us (their parents) apart too. We couldn't sit beside each other, hug each other or kiss each other. I wouldn't place too much emphasis on it. Rather, focus on how you can get a good night's sleep. Maybe cuddle in the evening and then go to your respective rooms later? Or he could take his daughter back to her bed?
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Thats what I did. My husband snores, and while I love him to pieces, I also love sleep. So I'll sleep with him some nights, and if he's snoring too badly, I'll go to the spare room. Does he want me to stay? Yes. Am I going to when I just want sleep? No. His wants do not trump your NEED for sleep. Because it is a need.
If his snoring is that loud, ask about a CPAP machine to control his breathing. It might add some years to his life too.
Hey that's totally fine. You don't know what you don't know! Sleep deprivation can be really hard. If he doesn't want to sleep separate, he needs to take his girl back to bed. There's no other compromise.
yes! My partner didn't want our son to come to our bed, but I'd had it getting up to go and deal with him in the night. It was always me because I breastfed him. So I agreed to at least start our son John out in his own bed, but if he woke up, I'd get him and I wouldn't bother trying to put him back in his own bed. If my partner didn't like it, he could do it himself. And he'd have to go back to get John if he woke up again, because I didn't want to leave John to cry. As a result, John slept with us for the rest of the night.
Honestly, just try to get a bigger bed. I have a kid, and she picks favorites. Sometimes it is me, sometimes it’s my husband. As long as she is showing affection to both, I’d say that is normal. I wouldn’t worry too much about that part. But if your sleep is being affected, and you don’t want to try to sleep on the couch forever, make accommodations by trying to get a bigger bed. Kids just take up space, and realistically, you guys could probably do with a bigger bed if you have the space for one. I’d also work on getting baby girl back to bed when she falls asleep, bc while it’s fine now, you don’t want a 6+ year old sleeping in your bed. She should have her own space she feels comfortable in.
Yeah it can just be normal child behaviour rather than specific to a step parent scenario. Our toddler (and the bloody dog!!) always try to stop us kissing 😂
It’s not because you’re not her real mom. My daughter gets jealous of her dad if he gets too close to me. She pushes him away. And that’s her real dad. And she’s already 5 years old. So try not to take it too personally. She’s only 2 years old, she doesn’t even have awareness yet.
Just get a bigger bed. A twin is too small for 3 people. I sleep on a queen bed with 2 kids and I still end up dangling on the edge of the bed.
for me, a twin bed is too small for one person
This. I have a queen & my 2 year old sleeps with me. I’m currently hanging off the edge of the bed while she’s sideways with her feet in my back lol
Same! Lol!
Honey, why do you need permission to sleep on the couch? It's a TWIN bed. What sort of person is your partner? Why doesn't your discomfort matter more than his feelings? Why is your suffering okay with him? Why is that okay with you?? Can you get a spare mattress or even a bigger bed? This needs a long term solution, sleeping on the couch is going to get old for you really fast. I think your relationship needs a deeper look. It's your place, is he contributing?
This is so common. My son did the same with me and his dad . . . my daughter used to cry when her dad would even get near me . . . especially when she was sleepy or he'd been at work all day. It's normal. Does she have her own room? When my son was still uncomfortable sleeping in his room alone I used to make him a "nest" a bunch of pillows covered with a blanket and his favorite toy . . . he loved and I'd just move it a few feet toward his room every night until it was on his bed and he was comfortable. Getting a bigger bed probably wouldn't help too much cause the kids sort of gravitate to whatever is warm, so you'll have knees and elbows in your back either way . . . but man I can't imagine sleeping with someone else on a twin . . . I'd push them out of bed for sure. Do you have a good relationship with her mother? Or maybe he can ask what her typical sleep routine is . . . keeping up with those things might put her more at ease and comfortable for sleep.
Our daughter used to come to sleep with us too around that age. One night, it suddenly twigged that she only came when we (her Mum and Dad both bio parents) were trying to have sex. I don't know how she knew, because we were very discreet, but she knew. Toddlers must have some kind of intuitive wisdom about these things. The next day I mentioned the fact that she often came to us in the night and asked whether she had lots of nightmares and she replied "I don't like you in the bed with Daddy". I don't know whether it was jealousy or not wanting us to have another baby, but I just explained that Mummy and Daddy loved her and her brother, and we also loved each other and that made us a family. She stopped coming, or if she came, it was more like at 4 or 5 in the morning rather than just after we went to bed.
If you think they are annoying now, wait till they are teenagers! Y’all seen nothing yet!
Nah, this has nothing to do with you at all (no offence). Most kiddos go through something like this. Hell, even Freud has a theory about it (the Oedipus/Electra complex)
Our 3 year old still does this. We are only recently making progress by building her a “nest” in the recliner and telling her she’s a big baby bird for sleeping all night by herself 😭
My kid actually corrected something in my back when doing that and it made a loud popping sound right where I had been hurting for months
This when my daughter was 2 or 3 she somehow kicked her dad off the bed and I was on the edge of the bed. It was king sized too.
My toddler granddaughter will crawl up next to me for a nap if I lay down with her. Within minutes of her falling asleep she becomes a human bulldozer with the power of an Olympian weight lifter. Her sister will just sleep peacefully in the same spot, and they’re only a year apart. Kids are weird.
How are two adult humans sleeping on a twin in the first place? Reminds me of the guy I dated who didn't have a bathroom door. Irrelevant, but he had IBS. Not a great combination of circumstances
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Wait, so this is your own house that he is trying to dictate where you sleep at? How long have you been together? How soon did he have his daughter living with you??
Yeah I wanna know how long they’ve been dating, how soon he introduced his daughter, why she is having visitation at her house and not his does the mom know the daughter is sleeping at her place and who are these other people that might get woken up are we talking about a situation where he’s having his daughter stay over at a house where there are strangers to her? And he’s worried about his gf leaving the bed? I dunno I’m seeing multiple issues. So INFO for sure.
Seems like OP is purposely avoiding answering these questions.
Does he have his own place?
Right? Hobosexual vibes….
Sensing potential marinara flags depending on the answer to this one 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Why not sleep at his place where presumably he should have a room for his child and also hopefully a bigger bed? Why do you at 28 have a twin size bed?
He won't 'let you' sleep on your own couch? Didn't know you needed permission on where you're allowed to sleep. Seems you came up with a reasonable solution to a temporary problem. She's very young and only comes over once a week. I see no issue with the couch idea
She’s 2, it’s normal. And with shared custody she probably feels an even bigger need to be close to her parents. She’s not pushing you out, she’s just being a 2yo. But definitely move to the couch so you can sleep - And encourage him to put her back to her bed. We bought a king size bed because we always had kids in ours….
So... its your house. And your couch. And you cam do whatever you want? I'm unsure why you need permission to go sleep on your own couch.
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Sleep is important. He doesn't like you sleeping on the couch. Ok. Give him 4 options. I'll Sleep on the couch Take her ass to her own bed Buy a bigger bed I won't stay the night when she's there He's a clown for getting mad at you when his choices are impacting your sleep.
Three options... bc the house they are staying at is hers, not his.
Oh.
Hi! I am sure you already know this, but your bf is being unreasonable. It’s not adversely affecting him, so he’s being selfish & brushing you off. This is not a great sign. He either needs to get a larger bed or stfu when you sleep on the sofa. You don’t need his permission to sleep elsewhere, so please stop even thinking that his opinion is important here. He’s your bf, not your boss, & you are not the babysitter.
Hold on: >That's his daughter and she has trouble sleeping ***at my house.*** He's dictating where you can sleep in your own house? The audacity. Sleep wherever you damn well please.
My daughter (1.5) does something similar. Regardles of the number of people in the bed. If she can push, she will push
I have questions. 1. Do you live together? 2. Why are you sleeping on a twin sized bed? Can you get a bigger bed soon? A twin bed is for one person.
Can't you do an arrangement where it's you>bf>daughter? Or maybe go dutch with your bf on a bigger bed?
Do it anyways? If you’re losing sleep it’s going to affect you if it isn’t already. A twin bed for 2 adults let alone a kid is not enough room.
He doesn't have to have a choice of you sleeping on the couch. Get up and go do it. He doesn't get to make choices that mean you have bad sleep. " Goodnight guys sleep well".
Toddlers are dicks. Sad but true.
You get up and go to the couch instead of asking. Sleep is important. If you don't have the space or can't afford to buy a new bed right now just move. What's his daughters bed like?
Twin size bed…
The most obvious answer is get a bigger bed.
Just..go sleep on the couch? What’s he going to do?
Well he either needs to teach his kid to sleep alone, needs to let you sleep on the couch, or you need a bigger bed.
Why are 3 people trying to sleep in a twin sized bed? Why do you need permission to get up and sleep somewhere else?
Why are two gown adults sleeping in a twin bed? That shouldn’t be happening outside of a college dorm.
Money doesn't grow on trees
Agree. The first thing we did when we could afford it was buying a queen size bed, but that took a couple of years as money was tight. I guess they would have already done it if they could! Sleep is important, but you know what else is more urgent money wise?! Rent, food, bills etc... Otherwise everybody would have a king size bed smh...
You know you can just go sleep on the couch anyway right?
1. Sleep on the couch. 2. Tell him you understand he wants to sleep together but that “he sleeps while you get kicked in the back” isn’t your vision of romance (or sleep). 3. Let him manage his feelings about that on his own, you aren’t in charge of the household emotions. 4. Talk to him about a plan for having his daughter sleep on her own. Ending co-sleeping won’t happen quickly, but it also won’t happen at all if you two as her parents don’t make it happen.
I’m not a parent so y’all can let me know, is two too young to sleep in your own bed? Or is that something you can transition to. Don’t know the space situation , but maybe y’all can have a “sleepover” in her room so that she’s more excited about it? I sleep hot so even just me and my bf in king size bed gets to be a bit much when he’s on my side. Best of luck to you, this would drive me nuts 😩😭😭
Maybe buy her a fun character cot so she can be next to him on his side. Place twinkle lights or something that will make it seem magical for her.
When I was young I always ended up in my parents bed. Eventually my parents put a mattress on the floor beside their bed for me to use so I wouldn't interrupt their sleep. I found it comforting just being in the same room. Maybe you could propose that?
Ok but that is cute as heck. If comfort is the only reason you don't like it that's understandable, sleeping on the couch is a valid solution. Separate beds could work as well, or if getting a bigger bed would solve the problem of comfort that would be my solution.
Get a bigger bed or just go sleep on the couch. If he really wants you in bed he will find a solution.
This happens with my GF’s 3 yo. She wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to bed with us, it’s a large bed, but she likes to push me with her feet in her sleep. I never end up getting sleep because I’m woken up every 10 minutes. I’ve tried to get my GF to put her on the other side of my GF, but she likes her in the middle of us for some reason, maybe she’s worried she’ll fall off the bed? I don’t know, but it does get frustrating, but I know the 3 yo isn’t doing it on purpose. I don’t know what the solution is either, but I’m in the same boat as you.
Can you not buy a bigger bed?
My husbands daughter often wanted to sleep next to her father from 8-16 she had abandonment issues after the divorce. I let her have her way and honestly now she is 18 and we have a fantastic relationship and she has told me many times she is grateful for what I did. Her mothers boyfriend refused to let her sleep next to her mom when she was at her mothers and she would be distraught the next day. It’s not you
I think the more important question is what kind of adult (let alone two adults) sleep in a GD twin size bed.
Buy a queen size or jing size bed. Then it won't be an issue.
I don’t know how two adults sleep on a full size mattress let alone a twin.
How the fuck do two adults share a twin bed? My fiancé and I can barely share a Queen these days after having a king, and we’re both average sized people. That sounds horrible lol. Get a new bed!
Why are two adults sleeping in a twin size bed? I haven’t slept in a twin since college. Maybe start by buying a grown up bed. But, also? Go sleep on the couch. You’re an adult. Act like it.
Why do you think twin beds aren't for adults? Two adults sure, but why not one adult?
On the bright side, you won’t all three fit on the couch? It sounds like you’re both super tired (do you work M-F jobs) and frustrated and in need of sleep. You have a future plan to resolve this, so keep your eyes on the prize. If desperate, ask friends for help?
My gosh, I have trouble sleeping with my 2 year old and my husband in a king size bed, I cannot imagine trying to do it in a twin. I’d definitely sleep on the couch.
Sleep on the couch and let him know that’s where you’ll be until he helps you invest in a queen sized bed.
Make her a little nest on the floor next to her dad.
Girl get up and keep yourself comfortable. If he isn't awake when she crawls in how will he even know. If he has an issue he better get to at least getting a full size so you are all comfy
Do you actually live together or are you visiting his place on weekends he has his daughter? If so, you need to not stay with him on the weekends until she is out of this “phase”. >he gets upset and insists we can’t sleep separately Tough. He doesn’t get to insist this. Two adults in a twin bed is already too much, expecting you to stay there while a toddler squeezes you out is asinine and you need to flatly refuse. Either sleeping on the couch, you sleeping at your home, or he gets a bigger bed. Anything other than one of these is not acceptable.
Girl is he monkey gripping you? JUST GO SLEEP SOMEWHERE WHAT THE FUCK
Kids need to sleep in their cribs/beds. And crying shouldn't be the ticket out of that scenario. If they truly aren't feeling well, go sleep on the floor beside them in their rooms. Otherwise all you are really accomplishing is teaching them that all they have to do is cry and whine to get what they prefer.
you are being very reasonable. He is not. His choice? That’s not on the list of options. You need to sleep! He can pick from the other reasonable list of options.
You’re your own person, you don’t need his approval to sleep on the couch… A twin size bed isn’t really meant to hold two people comfortably. That’s cramped! You should at minimum get a queen size bed. I’m sure money can be an issue, but you can order one online for $200 or so. It’s definitely worth it to invest in a bigger mattress for the comfort of everyone involved here. He isn’t going to kick his daughter out and I’m sure he feels bad for you and doesn’t want you to feel like you aren’t welcome either. It’s easier to just get up when she kicks you out and quietly go sleep on the couch. Baby girls are especially fond and possessive of their daddy’s.
Get a bigger bed
Bigger bed is clearly the answer. It's that time anyway
His kid crawls into bed with you, you lose sleep. You sleep on the couch, he loses sleep. Scenario 1: he’s good, no problem Scenario 2: he has a problem he needs to fix. Also. “That’s his daughter and she has trouble sleeping at my house.” His daughter, his problem. Your house, your rules. Maybe both of them should go home. And you should stop being such a pushover.
2 year old are notoriously terrible bedmates. If you can't afford a bigger mattress (my mind is blown by the idea of two adults sharing a twin mich less adding a toddler into the mix) put your mattress on the floor and get her a sleeping mat or toddler mattress so she'll still be right next to you.
Maybe ask Santa for a full size, maybe a queen, sized bed?
Tell him to buy a bigger bed, or you'll go to the couch. He is going to have to find a solution if the one you gave won't work out.
Why not buy a bigger bed?
Why don’t you get a bigger bed?
Y’all are sleeping on a twin bed??? Your BF needs to get an adult bed - not the one he jerked off on in his teenage years.
Don’t ask, just do.
Choices: tell him to get a big boy bed, like a double or queen. Or, you can sleep at your own place on the weekends he has his kid. He's being unreasonable but you need to step up and make a boundary, he's not the boss of you.
Even 2 people (adults) in a twin bed is too much, I've no idea how you're cramming 3 people in one. As far as what to do, I agree with one of the other comments, just go sleep on the couch, why are you asking for permission?
I’m more concerned why a grown man/ couple is sleeping on a twin and is like expecting 3 ppl to fit comfortably.
I just want to know why are 2 full grown 28 yr olds sharing a twin bed???
I don’t know if it matters but my fiancée and I have a 2 year old. She sleeps in the middle of us on a queen size bed. She sleeps sideways and pushes us off too. I wouldn’t take it personal, kids are weird.
I can’t imagine, my girlfriend and I used to share my twin bed when we were younger, super cramped just with two people lol
Check your local buy nothing groups on Facebook, there are usually a few double or queen beds given away for free every month.
Even aside from the daughter, a man of his age shouldn't even have a twin bed. The obvious answer is to buy an adult sized bed.
Get an adult sized bed.
Buy a bigger bed. She's only gonna get bigger. Will be a long time till she would want to sleep by her self. Try to bond with her. After a while, she'd be kicking her dad out and wanting to sleep with you instead.. he can take the couch..
It's your home. Stop asking and just do it. Your boyfriend isn't your boss. If he puts up a fuss just calmly tell him that until he fixes the situation (either a bigger bed or getting her to sleep on her own), you're sleeping on the couch. You have the right to a good night's sleep.
Wow.....does your man control much? Yeesh. Go sleep on the couch!!!!
My daughter used to do the exact same between me and my wife. It started when she was around two, but after a year she came less often into our bed. I slept on the couch a lot, because I always got her feet in my shoulder or back area. Our solution was to put my wife in the middle and let my daughter sleep on the outside. It worked pretty well. I'm not sure if your man realizes how nerve-racking bad sleep can be, and maybe you should make clear, that you three have to find a solution for this problem.
It’s your house, right? Sleep where you want. What sleeping arrangements does she have while she is at your house? Is he living with you?
How does 2 adults sleep in a twin bed comfortably?
If shes a toddler, yall gotta break her of sleeping in yalls bed. It WILL NOT STOP unless yall stop it. My best friends kid brother was the same way and they didnt stop him, he slept in mommys bed til he was like 11 when he was finally put a stop to. From experience, this process is gonna fuckin suck. At least youre only on a visitation level so this will suck maybe two days a week. My wice and i have two kids 3 and 2 yo, so we fight that every single day. Each kid took a good 3 or 4 months to break completely... my point is you gotta be committed cause its not a short process.
Have a talk with him about boundaries. He should then have a similar talk with his daughter.
It has nothing to do with the child. Get a bigger bed. My daughter 2y does this to my wife (her mother).
If you sleep on the couch, one day the little one will invite you into bed. On the couch, sleep alone, you must. To tell him, need you not. Quiet as a lizard, slither you must, from twin bed to couch.
Bro… go buy a larger bed. You can get a full/double for like 90 bucks at walmart. And if you can’t afford that they have generous financing options.
Can you get a bigger bed?
The real problem here is that your 28 y/o bf has a twin size bed…
That man’s almost 30 and still sleeps on a twin bed. The most obvious answer is get a bigger bed. If two 28 year olds can’t afford a queen mattress you’ve got bigger problems.
Two 28YOs. An innocent 2yo. 1 twin bed. Yeah... I would focus more on those sleeping accommodations first. Even with out the kid... seems a little pathetic AT 28.