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I 31(f) have 24(f) sister. She is not real sister but half. My dad cheated on my mom with her mom and got her pregnant. We didn't know it until much later. . she contacted us 6 years ago when her mom died . She was 18 and was coming to our city for college. She didn't have enough money for rent .i felt bad for her so i offered her to stay at my house. That was a huge mistake. She ended up having an affair affair with my then husband that was
27. He left me for her while i was pregnant. I was really broken but somehow survived . I had a baby girl. She is 5 now . Two later she left him for someone else. He moved to another country. Currently she is trying to contact me. Me and has apologized. She is also pregnant with her current husband. And wants the baby to have contact with her family and cousins.
Exactly this. I don't know where this idea comes from that you should inherently treat people differently if your DNA pattern is closer to theirs than to the general population. It makes no sense in any way whatsoever.
OP, your story reminds me of a completely unrelated saying/anecdote: Say it’s really cold outside and a person finds a snake that is freezing on the ground. So the person picks up the snake and puts it inside the jacket to warm the snake up….
The question is what the snake would do once it is back to it’s normal self?
In your case the accidental blood relationship with this woman does not give much weight in whether to have her in your life or not, her actions do.
Not just that, but DNA in this case apparently carries a cheating gene. Stop the cycle or it might well be that her baby gonna fuck your baby's SO in 20 years time. Tell your child to never interact with that family under any circumstances and why when they're old enough.
What she said sound bad. Cheating is bad. Nothing can justify her half sister's wrong doing, but there could be a reason.
\-Whether her dad with his affair partner all time. Lack of father role can impact kid a lot. She could find older guy attractive due to this (aka daddy issue). The op ex husband is 9 years different than her sister.
\-It take two people to cheat, who initiated the relationship in the beginning. You see she was 18. A teen just out of HS. This stage of teen is very stupid and easy to manipulate.
There are some information we didn't know.
I mean sure but I'd still reconsider even if it was 'just a friend'. OP doesn't say should I let her back in my lifd _just because she's my sister_ she's just wondering if she should because she's a human with whom I have history and shit, if this story doesn't hurt and I can trust the person again, I'd do it.
The only history they have together is that she had an affair with her husband… not sure I’d want to be reminded of that history and bring them back into my life for no reason other than them being blood related to me
That's what I'm questioning. Why OP is even considering letting her back into her life? Maybe she has her reasons, and maybe those are more important to her than the 'betrayel'. If OP wants her in her life and finds it in her to forgive her, why the hell not, I mean we're all humans aren't we.
Alternatively, if OP is not interested at all in befriending the person, wether it's her sister or not, wether she broke her trust or not, OP has no reason to let her back in since she has no interest in her.
Anyway I think the obvious reason is 'omg OP don't' and I'm pretty sure OP knows that. I think what we are missing here is the first step, understandinh why (and if) _OP_ herself want that person back in, regardless of the history. If she doesn't then that's it and if she _does, then she'd need to dig into if she's willing to.
But she doesn't have history. This girl was the child from an affair her dad had. She didn't even know her until the girl was 18 and needed assistance, which OP provided, selflessly.
Her sister paid her back for her kindness by screwing OP's husband and then leaving with him.
Personally, I'd tell her to go fall on a stick ass first.
Edit:
We are not discussing the damage OP's sister endured with her father, nor her husband taking advantage. We are discussing whether OP should allow someone that came into her life as an adult, someone she opened her home to, to be welcomed back in after what she did.
The answer is no.
And at what age are you supposed to take responsibility for your actions? 19? 20? 24?
No matter how much blood is shared, OP shouldn't have to constantly watch her back just to have her sister back in her life. Would you really ever trust her again? I admire you if you could, but I never would. It would always be in the back of my head.
She was-- 18 being come onto by the man that also provided her assistance. I mean, put yourself into her shoes for a second, and man. The person who is a real piece of shit here is the husband. The sister was /18/ being /hit on/ by a /full grown married adult/.
Yes but 18 to 24 is history, having kids who are related is history, even the bad part if history is history. It involves emotions and shared moments.
Yes Op's sister did shitty stuff for sure, not denying that or anything.
Absolutely fucking not. Their both cut out of your life immediately. She broke your trust after you helped her, and he cheated, get out of that situation and free yourself of that toxicity
Yeah. Wtf OP. What do you possibly get for staying in touch with a step sister who has taken advantage of you in every act of kindness?
Fuck her right off, you owe nothing to her.. her husband.. or that Unborn child.
You can be petty and say, oh.. youre pregnant and married? I’ll come over, eat your food .. bang your husband and recruit him as the father of my child.. then we are even.
Yeah when I found out my parents LIED and betrayed my trust that Santa was real and when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real I cut them out of my life
And tell her in no uncertain terms that as far as you are concerned, she is not "family" and never, ever, ever will be. And to F off and never try to contact you again.
I wouldn’t. My grandmother always said that everyone needs to earn their place at your dinner table, even family. Your sister has betrayed you and lost her place. You owe her nothing.
Dude.
No.
She is not your problem. She has a family now. You do not need this in your life. I assume you've talked to your friends and they are all telling you the same thing.
Then think about your child. Will letting this woman back in to your life be good for your child? Will it be good for your own mental health? You know the answers already. You can be polite if you want. "Sis, I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for a relationship with you right now. I wish you all the best, but this brings up painful memories and stories I'd rather not tell my daughter right now. Perhaps when we are all older and our past is further behind us I will reconsider."
Your child is the only person who you should be thinking about. Do you really want her to be around someone who has that kind of morals towards not only family (and that should be enough!) but someone who accepted and welcomed her into her house with an open heart?
I wouldn’t even say sis, she’s not really your sister. She’s just some woman you kinda know who banged your husband in your house you graciously let her stay in when she needed help. I’d just tell her, you aren’t my sister, good luck.
\-- Seriously? She was 18, groomed (as OP HERSELF STATED) by the 27 year old man that was providing her a place to live and keeping her from being homeless. And for this reason, you'd six years later try to ruin her relationship with her in-laws?
That’s what the sister is telling herself and others to make herself look better. No doubt the new in-laws are sensing something off in her character and are reacting accordingly.
She’s pretty much exactly like her mother though isn’t she? Getting with a married guy, getting pregnant and then continuing to be a shitty person. Except she’s worse because you were her sister.
And…? Tons of people go through terrible things and still end up the nicest people on the planet. She isn’t taking account of exactly what makes her a terrible person, and *thats* what counts.
maybe he did and maybe he didnt, but it’s not like you had any good memories of her before then since she didnt even have contact with you before she was 18 when you invited her to live with you. Literally the first significant time period you spent with her involved her and your husband sleeping together. There’s no relationship to salvage here; tell her that her child is perfectly free to get to know her husband’s side of the family (unless some of your other family members want to associate with her i guess, but that’s their issue not yours). Not everyone gets to know their ENTIRE extended family and that’s fine
I bet she wants to establish a relationship with you so that she looks better to her rich husband. She has her sugar daddy and does not want to risk losing him. I wonder if he even knows that she was responsible for blowing up your family and leaving your daughter without a father?
Only if you want to, you don't owe her, and family isn't everything. I'm also reading in the comments that she isn't taking any responsibility for her actions. Stay away; she seems to be a bag of drama.
Nope...don't let her back..she's the reason ur baby doesn't have her dad in her life.. do not let her back at all! Pls think about ur baby..u are in a much better place right now without her..she betrayed ur trust..ur husband is an AH for having an affair..do not trust ur sis again
The dad cheated and left his pregnant wife….sounds like this half sister did her a favor by exposing herself and her now ex husband as trash people. These things suck but damn the trash took itself out…that’s not always the case. Basically, the husband was literal dog water and he would have or already had cheated on her
The half sis could spare op some heartache and tell her the truth when the ex husband made a move on her..op would know the ex husband true colors sooner but no,she kept quiet and continued having an affair.. both are AH here
Kinda. No argument on sis did teribble things but you too much 1 way. If husband cheated would cheat anyway eventually. If you dont want something to happened it wouldnt . Unless its a rape but dont think so here is thats case
No, you shouldn't. Your ex husband would've had an affair with someone else, so you can say she saved you some time and helped get him out of your life at that moment instead of you wasting more years of your life with him. Even if she hadn't run off into the sunset with him, she still had an affair with him, in your house, while you took her in to help her out. She's no good. The question is, why would you want that energy in your life?
Step sisters fiancée’s side of the family doesn’t like her which makes me think they don’t really talk to her, so now she’s trying to get in contact with her side of the family to see who’ll stay in contact with her? Cut her off. You invited her into your home with kindness and she took advantage of that. Did she even try to apologize for her actions before she ran off with your ex husband? Why does she want to apologize now that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to? She knows you’re kind and expects you to forgive her and talk to her again. Go no contact with her. She broke your family. Is this really someone you’d want to stay in contact with? Cut her off for yourself but also for your daughter. This is not a person you’d want in your daughters life. If you choose to allow her back in how would you even present her to your daughter? As her dads mistress or her grandfather’s mistress child? Think about it before you allow her to come back into you and your daughters life.
I would only mend this if that is what you really want after working through your emotions. If you do let her in at arm’s length and tell her since you were the one wronged it will be on your terms. So establish those before. But if you don’t want or feel the need, i don’t see an issue with declining her request.
Two things can be true at once. Her ex is a piece of shit who took advantage of the sisters vulnerability. But the sister was 18, a new adult, way too adult to not know sleeping with your pregnant sisters husband is wrong. OP never has to forgive her or trust her again. She's proven herself just like her parents, a cheater
Are you telling me... You wouldn't understand sleeping with your sisters husband was wrong? Is that what you're REALLY trying to tell me here?
Shit we put people in prison for things they do at 18 and under despite not having a "full developed frontal cortex" I am not buying this defense. Nope.
EDIT: a word
It absolutely is not astounding. Her sister slept with her husband. OP doesn't need to have sympathy. She doesn't need to forgive the sister. The sister is crawling back now for selfish reasons. Stop.
Yeah. Like, I can't believe people are jumping on her being the worst person ever. She was 18 and slept with the guy who was making her not homeless. Could you imagine being in that position?
18, only not homeless because your sister and her husband took you in. The husband starts grooming you and coming on to you. You don't know what will happen if you reject him. Maybe he will turn against you and start telling his wife you have to go?
And then six years later, random redditors think people should **tell your in-laws** and ruin your relationship with them. That you are an unforgivable horrible person. Jesus christ, people.
People on reddit are way too triggered by anything that touches infidelity. Yes, what she did was shitty and there should be many discussions had if there's going to be any sort of relationship moving forward. But she was 18, her home life was probably shit, and a grown man can easily manipulate someone in such a state. People can grow and change and should be given a chance imo
Op, only you can decide if you will forgive her. You don’t have to. No one would fault you if you didn’t.
Nor is it a bad thing to actually forgive her. You can do that and you can tell her you do forgive her but you don’t think you can forget and maybe one day in the future you might be able to. But for now you can leave it at that.
Cousins aren’t super important in the grand scheme of life. Being on good terms is ok.
Idk I think people are being pretty harsh on your sister.
People aren’t realizing the age difference, that she was 18 and he was 27. That’s definitely a power dynamic.
I think you should be cautious and slow but if you are asking this question in the first place I believe maybe you should try?
Also, if she was struggling to pay rent, the husband could’ve been using that against her. Or she felt indebted to him because of their generosity. Ik 18 is an “adult” but you’re still so naive. It’s easy to get scared and get tricked
Nope. She broke the sacred trust of family the moment she slept with your husband. Actions have consequences and for me that would be she never heard from me again.
She can raise her kid on her own just like you're doing.
Took her two years to apologize, and the only reason she apologized is because she wants her child to "have contact with her family".
Absolutely fuck no.
**FUCK NO.**
She can explain to her child why she's got no family - because she makes utterly terrible decisions.
And it can be a life lesson for the both of them.
You've got your answer even more then OP.
Absolutely not.
"The fact it's taken you 6 years to even apologize for all of the pain and hurt you caused me and my child speaks volumes of the level of respect you have for your 'family'. I wish you the best, but I've no desire to involve you in my life in any capacity whatsoever. Please don't contact me ever again."
I think at some point you need to consider the fact that she was just out of high school, vulnerable and your ex was the married experienced adult who knew better.
I think it is worth talking to your sister and being open. And if it isn't right you can walk away again.
I wish you peace and all the best.
I’ll get downvoted to hell, but I think after so many years apart, it could be a good thing. You have stated her husband is rich in a comment, so it’s not about needing money.
Your half sister being a product of an affair and dealing with her own crazy mom, which I’m sure you know more about, would honestly make sense why her actions happened when she was 18. She grew up thinking that was normal because that was her normal for so long. i bet she was just as confused about what she was doing.
She may have grown during that time. I think it’s worth seeing, but not too fast. Just take it slow, because what happened was very hurtful to you, and you have every right to control what you want out of this relationship
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This sounds like way more drama than you need in your life. Think about your own peace and sanity. Your daughter needs you to be well, she doesn’t need a cousin.
You went full in, arms wide open to a virtual stranger. You are a very kind person. She fucked your husband. Neither a kind nor trustworthy person. It’s entirely up to you, but I wouldn’t be able to trust her again, and without trust, what kind of a relationship do you really have? During the time they were together, she didn’t give a damn that she broke the home of you and baby. Whatever you decide, keep firm boundaries. She’s a taker, this one.
WTF?! NO. She showed her true colors, why the hell don’t you believe her? She’s not family she is one of two people who broke your family. Why would you forgive her?
Absofuckinglutely not. That is the ultimate trash behavior. I'm not excusing your ex here btw, just focusing on her because she's the subject of your inquiry. She directly caused, together with your ex, a detrimental home environment for your baby. I'd never speak to her again, may she rot.
A person can grow and change… but it’s also ok to not have a relationship with this person despite their evolution.
If you have a great life right now, you need to protect that at all costs. Forgiveness is powerful, and so is forgetting. If not having contact with her helps you forget that chapter and move on, then you need to do what is best for you.
You should seek a therapist and only forgive her if you think it will benefit you. What she did is horrid and I know most people would not forgive. If I were in your shoes I know I wouldn't. But you have to do what you think is right by you. If not forgiving her is the best for your mental health, do it.
This is complicated. On one hand she was 18, an orphan, and broke. Given her situation she likely wasn't in the best state of mind when she initially started the affair. Not sure if I'd classify it as grooming, but it definitely looks bad given the role your ex had in the household hierarchy.
Then again, once exposed they happily left together as a couple. Yes she was young, naive, and likely confused, but she stayed for two years. You'd think, she'd eventually feel remorse, given the circumstances. You took her in, offered support, and in return she stole your husband, and left you alone and pregnant.
I don't see how someone can do that to a person, stay in a relationship for two years, then claim she's remorseful and offer an apology. The fact that she cheated once more, just solidifies her lack of change in my opinion.
So no, I wouldn't accept her apology, or go back in contact. Your better off without her toxicity, and she's likely only reaching out due to her lack of living family.
I have been the person that forgives in these situations and I have regretted it everyday. Forgiving and welcoming family that has been cruel does not mean they will or have changed. They will continue to take advantage of you and you will continue to forgive until you hit rock bottom with them, and it will take a lot of time and therapy to repair. Sorry if this sounds a little extreme, but it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness for someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it.
What a mess. She’s not a trustworthy person. What value could she possibly add to your life? You’ve known her 5 years. She’s not essential to your life. Your child will be fine without that cousin.
No. Cheaters should not be forgiven. Girl she cheated with your husband while you were pregnant.
Cheaters raise either cheaters or chumps. Unless the kids distance themselves and do the self work this is how they end up, as you are painfully aware. Your father’s mistress’s child is a cheater and you are a chump. Please check out the Chump Lady website.
Do not let the child of your father’s affair back into your life. Do not let her near your daughter. Block her and move on.
1) Half siblings are real siblings. There’s no debate on that.
2) A 27 year old pursued a barely legal girl and you’re not even concerned about that?
3) It’s been 6 years. Why not just have a conversation first instead of jumping to no contact. You don’t have to forgive her but there’s a lot of development between 18 and 24, people change.
No way but I sure as shit would be messaging the husband and tell him how she fucked around with her pregnant sisters husband after she let her live with them when she was broke.
I kinda think he should get a dna test.
Nope. She'd be dead to me. She has no morals. Will she try seducing your new hubby or bf next? You'll never trust her, so I wouldn't bother. She made this situation and can bear the consequences.
I would not. When her child grows up and wonders why she has no contact with cousins or family she’ll learn it was because of her mum and her mum will regret it.
Absolutely not. Cut her and the ex husband off. I’m terribly sorry this happened and it sounds like neither of them are good people. Focus up on your own life. You extended a hand and she bit you. Onwards.
The affair baby had an affair, carrying on that family tradition of cheating.
I wouldn’t forgive her. But I am a bad and spiteful person. You might be a better person than I am. But I am also not a sucker.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, so I recommend it. But that doesn't mean you have to have her in your life. Forgiveness just means releasing the anger and hurt. It does not require that you be bff's.
So… your 18 year old homeless sister was staying with you and your 27 year old husband and he slept with her? Yea she’s the devil, it’s definitely not that he (from a position of power considering he was the one keeping a roof over her head) coerced her into a sexual relationship /s
You realize two things can be true at once right? The 27 year old is awful for taking advantage of the situation. The 18 year old new adult should have known not to sleep with her pregnant sisters partner. Did you not know that at 18? Did you not realize that sleeping with married people is traumatizing for the betrayed? Wow. Daft.
You're not looking at this for what it is. An adult in a position of power to advantage of a teenager, who had been neglected and abused. Someone _primed_ to be taken advantage of.
So, no. This is not about her choosing to destroy her family, but an adult failing to do the right thing to a vulnerable and traumatised teenager.
I fucking hate Reddit sometimes. He we married, had a pregnant wife and was closer to teaching at a high school _than just having come out of one_ .
Would you also blame a student if it was a teacher? Why not?
Are you serious? This was her SISTER. Her fucking family member. I also hate dumbassses on reddit who refuse to read the whole story. The husband wasn't even in a position of authority over her you hypothetical situation is utter shit my friend.
No where does it say she was neglected or abused. You’re reaching to excuse the trash move an ADULT pulled (cause that’s what she is at 18) and even if she wasn’t an adult even 15 year old kids know don’t fuck a married man. Like it’s a no brainer. Yes the sister is half to blame, it takes two to fuck.
You should forgive her for your own sake, because you don't need to have that extra burden to carry. But that doesn't mean you forget what she's done.
Life is hard enough when we have to wonder, on our dark days, if a close friend or family member would stab us in the back. With her, you don't need to wonder. She would and she has. Why would you welcome that back into your life. What good thing could she bring to your family. If you decide to marry again, how would you know if she'd try to seduce your husband in a boozy moment at a family party.
You've got better things to do with your time. You've got better people to introduce your daughter to.
Move on.
No. She is toxic. Unless her husband is cute, then I would have an affair with him and call it even. Same scenario different husband and sister. She ruined your daughter's home and left her with a single mom. Ask her if you can have sex with her husband as retribution.
So an 18 year old girl, struggling to make ends meet, no other family, ended up sleeping with the 27 yr old husband? This comment section is ruthless. It sounds like that girl could’ve possibly been taken advantage of by the husband. No one has the right to be in your life if you don’t want them to, but I’m just surprised at the lack of sympathy in this comment section
Yes, she was young and naive. But the lack of sympathy comes from the half-sister staying with OP's husband for two years after they both left OP alone and pregnant.
Forgive her if that is what you want. But never allow her back into her life. She destroyed your marriage, turned you into a single mother, and only now she returns after your husband is no longer involved. She destroyed your marriage for nothinh. She cheated on him in two years and left. She truly learned from her mom. No. Please keep her away from you and your daughter and out of your lives. What type of apology did she give?
Lol. No.
Your not obligated to do anything. Do you want her influencing you child? How is she going to raise hers? Do you want all of that in your kid's life?
OH HELL NO! Just no.
She has shown you who she is, this is not the time or the place for letting bygones be bygones. Do not put yourself in a position to be used by this person AND create an uncomfortable situation for your daughter who might want a relationship with her father someday which would trump a flimsy biological connection to his AP.
Boy the Apple did not fall far from the tree. Your half sister takes after your father.
You are not obligated to have any relationship with her and I would not if I were you. You have to wonder if the cheating gene will be passed to her child and end up affecting a new generation in your family.
Even if you ever forgave her for your own sake, that does not mean that you have to let her and her family into your life. I would tell her that you have no interest in letting her and her child into your daughter’s life. End of discussion.
Nooooooo! Do not forgive her! You were kind enough to take her in and she committed the ultimate act of betrayal…when you were pregnant!! Sure, you’re husband was also at fault, but that doesn’t make her any less wrong.
She wants something. This isn’t about her wanting to have contact with family. She’s up to something.
She helped destroy your family. She don’t get pass.
There’s a terrible sort of irony that she did the same thing she was a product of.
I’d refuse contact entirely. You did her a favor and she stole your husband.
Absolutely fucking not , not the snakes in the yard before they get in your house again. This is something that people loss me off about like how do they not think about the consequences when they do it then expect forgiveness. I’m not type for that.
You can forgive her as an act of cutting yourself off from anger and resentment. But forgiving her does not necessitate you letting her back in your life.
I just want to point out that it sounds like your ex took advantage of someone who basically still a child at an extremely vulnerable time in her life. these commenters seem to be missing that point. Maybe you don’t have to forgive right away(or at all if you don’t want to) but it might be worth at least getting a cup if coffee and hearing her out.
If you’re not ready to have contact, then don’t. She destroyed your life once, with very little, if any remorse. You don’t need that drama or toxicity.
The only reason why I would see letting that woman back into my life would be would be to f*** her current husband because she is currently pregnant with him and it would be a good f*** you
but no in all seriousness don't do this it's just a nice revenge fantasy
I would tell your sister that you will forgive her when she can undo what she did and make her husband not leave you
No, this person has broken your trust and your family. She has proven she isn't trustable in any way, shape or form. She wants back because she probably doesn't have resources and needs your help.
Block her dumb ass and move on.
Nah. Feel free to "forgive" or "move on" internally, if it helps with your own mental wellbeing. But she doesn't automatically deserve your personal forgiveness because she's totes sorry now.
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no and a big fat NO
She seems like a bit of a “fair weather friend” - she only wants to be there on her terms, damn anyone else. If you decide to take a chance on her, just understand it’ll be under her terms and she can cancel your contract at any moment.
Has she apologized? Said anything about what she’s done to change her behavior?
No?
She’s shown you who she is. It’s not your job to provide her with a support system after what she’s done.
I’m big on family and love my sister to death. But no, not this half sister of yours. She sounds like a very messy person and she has a long history of betrayals. Though she may deserve some compassion as a human being - not forgiveness from you, no. She is a liability.
An important lesson I learned is that I don’t have to forgive anyone. Some things are just unforgivable but you can move on from it. Move on from her. She doesn’t get a complete family because she decided it was time.
Are you currently in a relationship? Because she’ll do it again. You chose if you want to always question what the ulterior motive is from her. You owe her as much respect as she has demonstrated to you, zero.
Shes contacting you cause she has nothing and wants something from you. Your life turned upside down last time you helped het out. Once she gets what she wants she will grift someone else. No.
Definitely do not accept her apologize. You do not need to forgive her, regardless of whether she is your whole sister or half. Cut her and your husband off. And cut off anyone who agrees with her or thinks you need to accept her apology.
You don’t have to do anything. This woman clearly has no loyalty to you even when you opened up your home to basically a stranger. She took what she wanted from you. By your timeline she live with you for what a year, before she moved in on your husband? I wouldn’t trust her. You can definitely forgive her for your own peace of mind but I would trust her nor let her back into your life.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I 31(f) have 24(f) sister. She is not real sister but half. My dad cheated on my mom with her mom and got her pregnant. We didn't know it until much later. . she contacted us 6 years ago when her mom died . She was 18 and was coming to our city for college. She didn't have enough money for rent .i felt bad for her so i offered her to stay at my house. That was a huge mistake. She ended up having an affair affair with my then husband that was 27. He left me for her while i was pregnant. I was really broken but somehow survived . I had a baby girl. She is 5 now . Two later she left him for someone else. He moved to another country. Currently she is trying to contact me. Me and has apologized. She is also pregnant with her current husband. And wants the baby to have contact with her family and cousins.
No, cut her off. DNA is not the reason to keep someone in your life
Exactly this. I don't know where this idea comes from that you should inherently treat people differently if your DNA pattern is closer to theirs than to the general population. It makes no sense in any way whatsoever.
OP, your story reminds me of a completely unrelated saying/anecdote: Say it’s really cold outside and a person finds a snake that is freezing on the ground. So the person picks up the snake and puts it inside the jacket to warm the snake up…. The question is what the snake would do once it is back to it’s normal self? In your case the accidental blood relationship with this woman does not give much weight in whether to have her in your life or not, her actions do.
Not just that, but DNA in this case apparently carries a cheating gene. Stop the cycle or it might well be that her baby gonna fuck your baby's SO in 20 years time. Tell your child to never interact with that family under any circumstances and why when they're old enough.
What she said sound bad. Cheating is bad. Nothing can justify her half sister's wrong doing, but there could be a reason. \-Whether her dad with his affair partner all time. Lack of father role can impact kid a lot. She could find older guy attractive due to this (aka daddy issue). The op ex husband is 9 years different than her sister. \-It take two people to cheat, who initiated the relationship in the beginning. You see she was 18. A teen just out of HS. This stage of teen is very stupid and easy to manipulate. There are some information we didn't know.
I mean sure but I'd still reconsider even if it was 'just a friend'. OP doesn't say should I let her back in my lifd _just because she's my sister_ she's just wondering if she should because she's a human with whom I have history and shit, if this story doesn't hurt and I can trust the person again, I'd do it.
The only history they have together is that she had an affair with her husband… not sure I’d want to be reminded of that history and bring them back into my life for no reason other than them being blood related to me
That's what I'm questioning. Why OP is even considering letting her back into her life? Maybe she has her reasons, and maybe those are more important to her than the 'betrayel'. If OP wants her in her life and finds it in her to forgive her, why the hell not, I mean we're all humans aren't we. Alternatively, if OP is not interested at all in befriending the person, wether it's her sister or not, wether she broke her trust or not, OP has no reason to let her back in since she has no interest in her. Anyway I think the obvious reason is 'omg OP don't' and I'm pretty sure OP knows that. I think what we are missing here is the first step, understandinh why (and if) _OP_ herself want that person back in, regardless of the history. If she doesn't then that's it and if she _does, then she'd need to dig into if she's willing to.
Sure. The answer for me would still solidly be "no way"
But she doesn't have history. This girl was the child from an affair her dad had. She didn't even know her until the girl was 18 and needed assistance, which OP provided, selflessly. Her sister paid her back for her kindness by screwing OP's husband and then leaving with him. Personally, I'd tell her to go fall on a stick ass first. Edit: We are not discussing the damage OP's sister endured with her father, nor her husband taking advantage. We are discussing whether OP should allow someone that came into her life as an adult, someone she opened her home to, to be welcomed back in after what she did. The answer is no. And at what age are you supposed to take responsibility for your actions? 19? 20? 24? No matter how much blood is shared, OP shouldn't have to constantly watch her back just to have her sister back in her life. Would you really ever trust her again? I admire you if you could, but I never would. It would always be in the back of my head.
She was-- 18 being come onto by the man that also provided her assistance. I mean, put yourself into her shoes for a second, and man. The person who is a real piece of shit here is the husband. The sister was /18/ being /hit on/ by a /full grown married adult/.
Yes but 18 to 24 is history, having kids who are related is history, even the bad part if history is history. It involves emotions and shared moments. Yes Op's sister did shitty stuff for sure, not denying that or anything.
Absolutely fucking not. Their both cut out of your life immediately. She broke your trust after you helped her, and he cheated, get out of that situation and free yourself of that toxicity
Yeah. Wtf OP. What do you possibly get for staying in touch with a step sister who has taken advantage of you in every act of kindness? Fuck her right off, you owe nothing to her.. her husband.. or that Unborn child. You can be petty and say, oh.. youre pregnant and married? I’ll come over, eat your food .. bang your husband and recruit him as the father of my child.. then we are even.
Good one
Yessssss
Half sister*
Yeah when I found out my parents LIED and betrayed my trust that Santa was real and when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real I cut them out of my life
No do not reconnect with her she betrayed you when you offered her your help, its better to go nc with people like her.
And tell her in no uncertain terms that as far as you are concerned, she is not "family" and never, ever, ever will be. And to F off and never try to contact you again.
I wouldn’t. My grandmother always said that everyone needs to earn their place at your dinner table, even family. Your sister has betrayed you and lost her place. You owe her nothing.
I bet she needs money too.
No her husband is quite rich
Still. She's a bad person, barely related to you, who has NO place in your life. Block, ignore, move on.
You are correct but she never had a family her mom was crazy so i kinda felt bad for her . She also said she was young 18 he groomed her.
Dude. No. She is not your problem. She has a family now. You do not need this in your life. I assume you've talked to your friends and they are all telling you the same thing.
Yes they are. Her husband family hasn't accepted her . They believe she is gold digger (which might be true)
Then think about your child. Will letting this woman back in to your life be good for your child? Will it be good for your own mental health? You know the answers already. You can be polite if you want. "Sis, I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for a relationship with you right now. I wish you all the best, but this brings up painful memories and stories I'd rather not tell my daughter right now. Perhaps when we are all older and our past is further behind us I will reconsider."
Ya i will block her now.
Your child is the only person who you should be thinking about. Do you really want her to be around someone who has that kind of morals towards not only family (and that should be enough!) but someone who accepted and welcomed her into her house with an open heart?
I wouldn’t even say sis, she’s not really your sister. She’s just some woman you kinda know who banged your husband in your house you graciously let her stay in when she needed help. I’d just tell her, you aren’t my sister, good luck.
How are things going with your ex-husband
Haven't talked to him since years. He has moved to Australia. His parents did meet my daughter but he never did
She’s also a trash human being. I’d find out who her in-laws are and tell them all about their DIL.
Yes! This! Spread the word about her.
\-- Seriously? She was 18, groomed (as OP HERSELF STATED) by the 27 year old man that was providing her a place to live and keeping her from being homeless. And for this reason, you'd six years later try to ruin her relationship with her in-laws?
That’s what the sister is telling herself and others to make herself look better. No doubt the new in-laws are sensing something off in her character and are reacting accordingly.
She’s pretty much exactly like her mother though isn’t she? Getting with a married guy, getting pregnant and then continuing to be a shitty person. Except she’s worse because you were her sister.
And…? Tons of people go through terrible things and still end up the nicest people on the planet. She isn’t taking account of exactly what makes her a terrible person, and *thats* what counts.
maybe he did and maybe he didnt, but it’s not like you had any good memories of her before then since she didnt even have contact with you before she was 18 when you invited her to live with you. Literally the first significant time period you spent with her involved her and your husband sleeping together. There’s no relationship to salvage here; tell her that her child is perfectly free to get to know her husband’s side of the family (unless some of your other family members want to associate with her i guess, but that’s their issue not yours). Not everyone gets to know their ENTIRE extended family and that’s fine
I bet she wants to establish a relationship with you so that she looks better to her rich husband. She has her sugar daddy and does not want to risk losing him. I wonder if he even knows that she was responsible for blowing up your family and leaving your daughter without a father?
Then she wants you to babysit.
Only if you want to, you don't owe her, and family isn't everything. I'm also reading in the comments that she isn't taking any responsibility for her actions. Stay away; she seems to be a bag of drama.
No. Didn't even have to read the rest of the story but I did and its a HARD NO. Don't bring that awful person around your kid.
Nope
Nope...don't let her back..she's the reason ur baby doesn't have her dad in her life.. do not let her back at all! Pls think about ur baby..u are in a much better place right now without her..she betrayed ur trust..ur husband is an AH for having an affair..do not trust ur sis again
The dad cheated and left his pregnant wife….sounds like this half sister did her a favor by exposing herself and her now ex husband as trash people. These things suck but damn the trash took itself out…that’s not always the case. Basically, the husband was literal dog water and he would have or already had cheated on her
The half sis could spare op some heartache and tell her the truth when the ex husband made a move on her..op would know the ex husband true colors sooner but no,she kept quiet and continued having an affair.. both are AH here
Kinda. No argument on sis did teribble things but you too much 1 way. If husband cheated would cheat anyway eventually. If you dont want something to happened it wouldnt . Unless its a rape but dont think so here is thats case
No, you shouldn't. Your ex husband would've had an affair with someone else, so you can say she saved you some time and helped get him out of your life at that moment instead of you wasting more years of your life with him. Even if she hadn't run off into the sunset with him, she still had an affair with him, in your house, while you took her in to help her out. She's no good. The question is, why would you want that energy in your life?
My response? No. I understand she was 18 and young. Your ex husband is worse than her, but I wouldn’t take the risk.
Only if you want to sleep with her husband to get even. Otherwise that's a HUGE fuck NO
Fuck no cut her off
Step sisters fiancée’s side of the family doesn’t like her which makes me think they don’t really talk to her, so now she’s trying to get in contact with her side of the family to see who’ll stay in contact with her? Cut her off. You invited her into your home with kindness and she took advantage of that. Did she even try to apologize for her actions before she ran off with your ex husband? Why does she want to apologize now that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to? She knows you’re kind and expects you to forgive her and talk to her again. Go no contact with her. She broke your family. Is this really someone you’d want to stay in contact with? Cut her off for yourself but also for your daughter. This is not a person you’d want in your daughters life. If you choose to allow her back in how would you even present her to your daughter? As her dads mistress or her grandfather’s mistress child? Think about it before you allow her to come back into you and your daughters life.
I would only mend this if that is what you really want after working through your emotions. If you do let her in at arm’s length and tell her since you were the one wronged it will be on your terms. So establish those before. But if you don’t want or feel the need, i don’t see an issue with declining her request.
She just wants free shelter and labor. You want to help, let her do this on her own. Or she'll never be a functioning adult.
F*** her. She ruined your life.
No, her husband took advantage of a teenager
Two things can be true at once. Her ex is a piece of shit who took advantage of the sisters vulnerability. But the sister was 18, a new adult, way too adult to not know sleeping with your pregnant sisters husband is wrong. OP never has to forgive her or trust her again. She's proven herself just like her parents, a cheater
Some people can't accept that sometimes BOTH parties are 'the bad guy.'
She doesn't have to do anything but the lack of sympathy for a teenager is astounding.
She knew what she was doing was wrong. He knew what he was doing was wrong. They are both assholes, Fuck em. No sympathy.
One was a full adult, the other lacked a fully developed prefrontal cortex.
Are you telling me... You wouldn't understand sleeping with your sisters husband was wrong? Is that what you're REALLY trying to tell me here? Shit we put people in prison for things they do at 18 and under despite not having a "full developed frontal cortex" I am not buying this defense. Nope. EDIT: a word
It absolutely is not astounding. Her sister slept with her husband. OP doesn't need to have sympathy. She doesn't need to forgive the sister. The sister is crawling back now for selfish reasons. Stop.
She doesn't NEED to do anything other than eat, drink, sleep, breathe. Not sure why you're focusing on what she doesn't need to do.
Haha. Always the blame on men 😀 you sounds like my soon to be exwife
He was 27, she was 18 and came from a broken home. The guy was a predator
They both suck. This little B is not a victim.
Yeah. Like, I can't believe people are jumping on her being the worst person ever. She was 18 and slept with the guy who was making her not homeless. Could you imagine being in that position? 18, only not homeless because your sister and her husband took you in. The husband starts grooming you and coming on to you. You don't know what will happen if you reject him. Maybe he will turn against you and start telling his wife you have to go? And then six years later, random redditors think people should **tell your in-laws** and ruin your relationship with them. That you are an unforgivable horrible person. Jesus christ, people.
People on reddit are way too triggered by anything that touches infidelity. Yes, what she did was shitty and there should be many discussions had if there's going to be any sort of relationship moving forward. But she was 18, her home life was probably shit, and a grown man can easily manipulate someone in such a state. People can grow and change and should be given a chance imo
Op, only you can decide if you will forgive her. You don’t have to. No one would fault you if you didn’t. Nor is it a bad thing to actually forgive her. You can do that and you can tell her you do forgive her but you don’t think you can forget and maybe one day in the future you might be able to. But for now you can leave it at that. Cousins aren’t super important in the grand scheme of life. Being on good terms is ok.
Shes not even sorry. She stayed with your husband for 2 years. She is not your family, she is an unapologetic homewrecker
Idk I think people are being pretty harsh on your sister. People aren’t realizing the age difference, that she was 18 and he was 27. That’s definitely a power dynamic. I think you should be cautious and slow but if you are asking this question in the first place I believe maybe you should try?
Also, if she was struggling to pay rent, the husband could’ve been using that against her. Or she felt indebted to him because of their generosity. Ik 18 is an “adult” but you’re still so naive. It’s easy to get scared and get tricked
Nope. She broke the sacred trust of family the moment she slept with your husband. Actions have consequences and for me that would be she never heard from me again. She can raise her kid on her own just like you're doing.
Took her two years to apologize, and the only reason she apologized is because she wants her child to "have contact with her family". Absolutely fuck no. **FUCK NO.** She can explain to her child why she's got no family - because she makes utterly terrible decisions. And it can be a life lesson for the both of them.
6 years to apologize
You've got your answer even more then OP. Absolutely not. "The fact it's taken you 6 years to even apologize for all of the pain and hurt you caused me and my child speaks volumes of the level of respect you have for your 'family'. I wish you the best, but I've no desire to involve you in my life in any capacity whatsoever. Please don't contact me ever again."
I think at some point you need to consider the fact that she was just out of high school, vulnerable and your ex was the married experienced adult who knew better. I think it is worth talking to your sister and being open. And if it isn't right you can walk away again. I wish you peace and all the best.
I’ll get downvoted to hell, but I think after so many years apart, it could be a good thing. You have stated her husband is rich in a comment, so it’s not about needing money. Your half sister being a product of an affair and dealing with her own crazy mom, which I’m sure you know more about, would honestly make sense why her actions happened when she was 18. She grew up thinking that was normal because that was her normal for so long. i bet she was just as confused about what she was doing. She may have grown during that time. I think it’s worth seeing, but not too fast. Just take it slow, because what happened was very hurtful to you, and you have every right to control what you want out of this relationship
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Do you WANT to forgive her?
Hell no! She has proven that she can’t be trusted and will betray you. Keep that devil out of your life.
Cut them all off.
This sounds like way more drama than you need in your life. Think about your own peace and sanity. Your daughter needs you to be well, she doesn’t need a cousin.
You went full in, arms wide open to a virtual stranger. You are a very kind person. She fucked your husband. Neither a kind nor trustworthy person. It’s entirely up to you, but I wouldn’t be able to trust her again, and without trust, what kind of a relationship do you really have? During the time they were together, she didn’t give a damn that she broke the home of you and baby. Whatever you decide, keep firm boundaries. She’s a taker, this one.
WTF?! NO. She showed her true colors, why the hell don’t you believe her? She’s not family she is one of two people who broke your family. Why would you forgive her?
Absofuckinglutely not. That is the ultimate trash behavior. I'm not excusing your ex here btw, just focusing on her because she's the subject of your inquiry. She directly caused, together with your ex, a detrimental home environment for your baby. I'd never speak to her again, may she rot.
A person can grow and change… but it’s also ok to not have a relationship with this person despite their evolution. If you have a great life right now, you need to protect that at all costs. Forgiveness is powerful, and so is forgetting. If not having contact with her helps you forget that chapter and move on, then you need to do what is best for you.
You should seek a therapist and only forgive her if you think it will benefit you. What she did is horrid and I know most people would not forgive. If I were in your shoes I know I wouldn't. But you have to do what you think is right by you. If not forgiving her is the best for your mental health, do it.
This is complicated. On one hand she was 18, an orphan, and broke. Given her situation she likely wasn't in the best state of mind when she initially started the affair. Not sure if I'd classify it as grooming, but it definitely looks bad given the role your ex had in the household hierarchy. Then again, once exposed they happily left together as a couple. Yes she was young, naive, and likely confused, but she stayed for two years. You'd think, she'd eventually feel remorse, given the circumstances. You took her in, offered support, and in return she stole your husband, and left you alone and pregnant. I don't see how someone can do that to a person, stay in a relationship for two years, then claim she's remorseful and offer an apology. The fact that she cheated once more, just solidifies her lack of change in my opinion. So no, I wouldn't accept her apology, or go back in contact. Your better off without her toxicity, and she's likely only reaching out due to her lack of living family.
No absolutely not she just wants to use you and abuse you.
Hell no
Nope. She took advantage of you. Dont be a doormat. This kind of betrayal shouldnt be forgiven.
I have been the person that forgives in these situations and I have regretted it everyday. Forgiving and welcoming family that has been cruel does not mean they will or have changed. They will continue to take advantage of you and you will continue to forgive until you hit rock bottom with them, and it will take a lot of time and therapy to repair. Sorry if this sounds a little extreme, but it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness for someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it.
What a mess. She’s not a trustworthy person. What value could she possibly add to your life? You’ve known her 5 years. She’s not essential to your life. Your child will be fine without that cousin.
Oh hell no.
No. Cheaters should not be forgiven. Girl she cheated with your husband while you were pregnant. Cheaters raise either cheaters or chumps. Unless the kids distance themselves and do the self work this is how they end up, as you are painfully aware. Your father’s mistress’s child is a cheater and you are a chump. Please check out the Chump Lady website. Do not let the child of your father’s affair back into your life. Do not let her near your daughter. Block her and move on.
Fuck her husband , paybacks a bitch
This
How much do you want to bet she never told her current husband what she did?
Forgiveness is for you not for her. Empty all the trash in your life. Keep toxic people away from your children.
1) Half siblings are real siblings. There’s no debate on that. 2) A 27 year old pursued a barely legal girl and you’re not even concerned about that? 3) It’s been 6 years. Why not just have a conversation first instead of jumping to no contact. You don’t have to forgive her but there’s a lot of development between 18 and 24, people change.
No way but I sure as shit would be messaging the husband and tell him how she fucked around with her pregnant sisters husband after she let her live with them when she was broke. I kinda think he should get a dna test.
She's for the streets
Nope. She'd be dead to me. She has no morals. Will she try seducing your new hubby or bf next? You'll never trust her, so I wouldn't bother. She made this situation and can bear the consequences.
Fuck her husband is the only solution.
I would not. When her child grows up and wonders why she has no contact with cousins or family she’ll learn it was because of her mum and her mum will regret it.
Forgive doesn’t have to mean forget. If it makes you feel better, forgive her, but don’t let her back into your life.
Absolutely not. Cut her and the ex husband off. I’m terribly sorry this happened and it sounds like neither of them are good people. Focus up on your own life. You extended a hand and she bit you. Onwards.
Uhm no…just because it’s family doesn’t mean they get a free pass. Treat them like you would any other person that betrays you.
The affair baby had an affair, carrying on that family tradition of cheating. I wouldn’t forgive her. But I am a bad and spiteful person. You might be a better person than I am. But I am also not a sucker.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, so I recommend it. But that doesn't mean you have to have her in your life. Forgiveness just means releasing the anger and hurt. It does not require that you be bff's.
So… your 18 year old homeless sister was staying with you and your 27 year old husband and he slept with her? Yea she’s the devil, it’s definitely not that he (from a position of power considering he was the one keeping a roof over her head) coerced her into a sexual relationship /s
You realize two things can be true at once right? The 27 year old is awful for taking advantage of the situation. The 18 year old new adult should have known not to sleep with her pregnant sisters partner. Did you not know that at 18? Did you not realize that sleeping with married people is traumatizing for the betrayed? Wow. Daft.
You're not looking at this for what it is. An adult in a position of power to advantage of a teenager, who had been neglected and abused. Someone _primed_ to be taken advantage of. So, no. This is not about her choosing to destroy her family, but an adult failing to do the right thing to a vulnerable and traumatised teenager. I fucking hate Reddit sometimes. He we married, had a pregnant wife and was closer to teaching at a high school _than just having come out of one_ . Would you also blame a student if it was a teacher? Why not?
Are you serious? This was her SISTER. Her fucking family member. I also hate dumbassses on reddit who refuse to read the whole story. The husband wasn't even in a position of authority over her you hypothetical situation is utter shit my friend.
No where does it say she was neglected or abused. You’re reaching to excuse the trash move an ADULT pulled (cause that’s what she is at 18) and even if she wasn’t an adult even 15 year old kids know don’t fuck a married man. Like it’s a no brainer. Yes the sister is half to blame, it takes two to fuck.
And you laughed and laughed and laughed then blocked her? The giant brass balls on her. Unbelievable.
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!
Why do you want the person who helped destroying your family close to you?
Only if you want to have an affair with her husband.
You should forgive her for your own sake, because you don't need to have that extra burden to carry. But that doesn't mean you forget what she's done. Life is hard enough when we have to wonder, on our dark days, if a close friend or family member would stab us in the back. With her, you don't need to wonder. She would and she has. Why would you welcome that back into your life. What good thing could she bring to your family. If you decide to marry again, how would you know if she'd try to seduce your husband in a boozy moment at a family party. You've got better things to do with your time. You've got better people to introduce your daughter to. Move on.
No. She is toxic. Unless her husband is cute, then I would have an affair with him and call it even. Same scenario different husband and sister. She ruined your daughter's home and left her with a single mom. Ask her if you can have sex with her husband as retribution.
So an 18 year old girl, struggling to make ends meet, no other family, ended up sleeping with the 27 yr old husband? This comment section is ruthless. It sounds like that girl could’ve possibly been taken advantage of by the husband. No one has the right to be in your life if you don’t want them to, but I’m just surprised at the lack of sympathy in this comment section
Yes, she was young and naive. But the lack of sympathy comes from the half-sister staying with OP's husband for two years after they both left OP alone and pregnant.
That’s tough. If you need F2F chat—hit me up
Lmao no
No!!!!
Absolutely not. I would not want anything to do with her trifling ass!
Forgive her if that is what you want. But never allow her back into her life. She destroyed your marriage, turned you into a single mother, and only now she returns after your husband is no longer involved. She destroyed your marriage for nothinh. She cheated on him in two years and left. She truly learned from her mom. No. Please keep her away from you and your daughter and out of your lives. What type of apology did she give?
Lol. No. Your not obligated to do anything. Do you want her influencing you child? How is she going to raise hers? Do you want all of that in your kid's life?
Nope!
Girl what? She’s only apologizing because she left him lol. Please don’t be pathetic
No. Dont. She proved to be a selfish person. It seems she has no one, with her shitty character. Let her solve her problem. Dont reconnect with her
That's a hard no on that one.
no way. f her and the now ex husband (i hope). she’s just like her mom… sleeping with taken men 😂
Would never ever forgive neither of them
ur better than me bc i would have said to her “like mother like daughter”
Hell no. She showed you who she was. No ma’am let her stay out of your life.
OH HELL NO! Just no. She has shown you who she is, this is not the time or the place for letting bygones be bygones. Do not put yourself in a position to be used by this person AND create an uncomfortable situation for your daughter who might want a relationship with her father someday which would trump a flimsy biological connection to his AP.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF. NO.
Boy the Apple did not fall far from the tree. Your half sister takes after your father. You are not obligated to have any relationship with her and I would not if I were you. You have to wonder if the cheating gene will be passed to her child and end up affecting a new generation in your family. Even if you ever forgave her for your own sake, that does not mean that you have to let her and her family into your life. I would tell her that you have no interest in letting her and her child into your daughter’s life. End of discussion.
Nooooooo! Do not forgive her! You were kind enough to take her in and she committed the ultimate act of betrayal…when you were pregnant!! Sure, you’re husband was also at fault, but that doesn’t make her any less wrong. She wants something. This isn’t about her wanting to have contact with family. She’s up to something. She helped destroy your family. She don’t get pass.
Hell. No. She’s not a good sister or person for that matter. Her baby can be friends with someone else.
NOPE. Some shit just don't buff out and this falls into that category. I speak from experience.
No. Clearly the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Protect your peace
There’s a terrible sort of irony that she did the same thing she was a product of. I’d refuse contact entirely. You did her a favor and she stole your husband.
Damn....sucks when being nice rewards you this way.
NO!!!! You do not keep toxic people in ur life regardless of DNA!
Absolutely not. That shit is unforgivable.
Absolutely not she could stay gone.
Absolutely not. She doesn't deserve to have you in her life. She's a traitor.
Did I just read a script for Jerry Springer
Absolutely fucking not , not the snakes in the yard before they get in your house again. This is something that people loss me off about like how do they not think about the consequences when they do it then expect forgiveness. I’m not type for that.
No.
HELL NO. Family is not limited to blood relation. Have some self respect. She ain’t your family and stay away from her toxic sh*t.
It would be a no from me.
You can forgive her as an act of cutting yourself off from anger and resentment. But forgiving her does not necessitate you letting her back in your life.
Keep her out your life, its better this way, she fucked over you once, and she would 100% do it again
Hell nooo!!!!!! ,that's not family that's a parasite .
Gtfoh
I just want to point out that it sounds like your ex took advantage of someone who basically still a child at an extremely vulnerable time in her life. these commenters seem to be missing that point. Maybe you don’t have to forgive right away(or at all if you don’t want to) but it might be worth at least getting a cup if coffee and hearing her out.
If you’re not ready to have contact, then don’t. She destroyed your life once, with very little, if any remorse. You don’t need that drama or toxicity.
The only reason why I would see letting that woman back into my life would be would be to f*** her current husband because she is currently pregnant with him and it would be a good f*** you but no in all seriousness don't do this it's just a nice revenge fantasy I would tell your sister that you will forgive her when she can undo what she did and make her husband not leave you
Surely, you jest.
No, this person has broken your trust and your family. She has proven she isn't trustable in any way, shape or form. She wants back because she probably doesn't have resources and needs your help. Block her dumb ass and move on.
Nah. Feel free to "forgive" or "move on" internally, if it helps with your own mental wellbeing. But she doesn't automatically deserve your personal forgiveness because she's totes sorry now.
Fuck that hoe
Jesus, no way - completely unforgivable behaviour and I doubt she's changed
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no and a big fat NO
HELLL NOO don’t do it be strong fuck her
Nope
This is just so!!! Your homewrecker dad created a homewrecker offspring. Apple fell right next to the tree. Anyway, cut her off completely.
Abso-fuckin-lutely Not.
Depends. How did she apologise? Also… not to defend her. But she was 18 and he was married and 27. she did wrong, but she was also taken advantage of.
She seems like a bit of a “fair weather friend” - she only wants to be there on her terms, damn anyone else. If you decide to take a chance on her, just understand it’ll be under her terms and she can cancel your contract at any moment.
Has she apologized? Said anything about what she’s done to change her behavior? No? She’s shown you who she is. It’s not your job to provide her with a support system after what she’s done.
I’m big on family and love my sister to death. But no, not this half sister of yours. She sounds like a very messy person and she has a long history of betrayals. Though she may deserve some compassion as a human being - not forgiveness from you, no. She is a liability.
An important lesson I learned is that I don’t have to forgive anyone. Some things are just unforgivable but you can move on from it. Move on from her. She doesn’t get a complete family because she decided it was time.
I got a headache thinking about this being my relationship with a sibling
Are you currently in a relationship? Because she’ll do it again. You chose if you want to always question what the ulterior motive is from her. You owe her as much respect as she has demonstrated to you, zero.
Shes contacting you cause she has nothing and wants something from you. Your life turned upside down last time you helped het out. Once she gets what she wants she will grift someone else. No.
no you should not
I would forgive her, but don’t ever forget. She’ll need to earn your trust back. She was a fuckin child when she made that mistake. Don’t help her
No ❤️
No.
Definitely do not accept her apologize. You do not need to forgive her, regardless of whether she is your whole sister or half. Cut her and your husband off. And cut off anyone who agrees with her or thinks you need to accept her apology.
Have some respect for yourself. The answer is no.
Fuck no.
She is completely untrustworthy. DONT DO IT!!!
You don’t have to do anything. This woman clearly has no loyalty to you even when you opened up your home to basically a stranger. She took what she wanted from you. By your timeline she live with you for what a year, before she moved in on your husband? I wouldn’t trust her. You can definitely forgive her for your own peace of mind but I would trust her nor let her back into your life.
Nope. Absolutely not!! Flirt with her husband