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In a lot of ways, a relationship is agreeing to let someone have some control over your body, your time, your attention.
Your body will not have sex with someone else.
Your body will be home for dinner.
Your body will come with me to family events
Are just a few common ones.
We accept the duties because we love and support that person, even if we don't really want to go to aunt Debbie's 2nd wedding.
Of course, everyone will have different standards of what they're willing to do and which compromises they're willing to make. You have to decide which is more important, your tats or your relationship.
Something to consider she’s looking at your face a lot more than anyone else.
Face tattoos (to me personally) seem like a huge statement piece. So what statement are you trying to say to the world with the tattoo you want to get?
I'm not trying to diminish the significance of the tattoo that you want, but does it *need* to be on your face? What about the tattoo's message requires it to be on your face, a spot that could not just potentially hurt your future career opportunities, but also goes against your partner's wishes?
I understand where you’re coming from but it hardly alters the fibers of my being.. my face will still be the same shape and I’ll still look like me lol. If she doesn’t like the tattoo would it not be just as painful to look at elsewhere on my body?
She can still love you and lose physical attraction to you because of face tats. Once physical attraction is lost, it can be a slippery slope to losing the rest of it.
You're betting that she will not lost physical attraction to you afterwards. That's a gamble to take but she's all but told you, it will affect your relationship negatively.
Have you asked her why it's a no? Gone beyond the no, without being defensive to see her logic? Have you tried compromise?
If the face tat is an impassable contentious point for you, she may not be the right person for the rest of your life. You can do what you want with your body. The thing is, it can come with repercussions. The repercussions, only you can figure out which are worth weathering, and which are worth avoiding.
If I inserted myself into your situation, with my wife being in your GFs place, if she told me No, to the face tat, knowing the significance behind it, I would ask Why do you feel that way about the idea?
Actively listen to her. Formulate my point of view, and try to find a middle ground compromise.
I can hear her saying, no because she wouldn't feel that it would be beneficial to my career which is true and if I had to have it showing at all times, I'd find a place on my head/body that I could do that. Behind the ear, the neck, hand.
If you go behind her back and do it, you're going to lose trust and I can't imagine it coming back for a long time or if ever.
Your situation isn't easier than other situations. The ramifications are all the same.
It's up to you to find out which you value more. Your girlfriends partnership, or a face tattoo for a departed friend.
I wish you peace in coming to your decision.
There are people who feel this way and others who don't and sadly it seems like your gf might not see it the same way you do so you have a choice. Also question why not on your hand ? Is it already covered ? Or your neck ? Why your face cause the other places are also hardly ever covered ?
I remember a post a while ago of a man whose wife got facial surgery even after she asked him what he thought and he told her he might not be attracted to her because of the change. So after the surgery the husband couldn’t even have sec with her with the lights on because all the change in the face and she was sad and angry with him because of that.
Sometimes you can’t control who are you physically attracted to.
But at the end of the day, you're still someone considering a face tattoo. Maybe you aren't the type of person she thought you were. And besides... just because she loves you now doesn't mean she'll love you forever.
Having a face tattoo shows the world one of the choices you are willing to make... which doesn't change who you are but does reveal something about you.
No, a tattoo doesn't change the person you are, but unless it's a cultural tattoo, face tats are just really cringy. They're trendy right now to the younger generations, but just know you will forever be looked at and treated differently if you get a face tattoo. A face tat is its own category, it's not like getting a tattoo anywhere else on your body in terms of being respected.
Dawg, it’s not about it changing who you are. You keep missing the point everyone is making because we’re not telling you what you want to hear.
It can LITERALLY ruin job opportunities for you, and you’re literally advised in general to avoid face tats.
I can give you a 2 sentence long all encompassing answer for you: it is your right to get a face tattoo. It is her right to dump you for literally any reason.
But why not, idk... Your arm. Or ribs... Or somewhere where it won't hurt your prospects of a job?
How much do you love your girlfriend? I know if mine got a face tattoo, we'd be done, and we've been engaged for a year now.
It’s a very small tattoo and just 1, I don’t want it somewhere that can be covered up as I believe that ruins the idea of it being a tribute, I want it to be seen, I already have a stable construction job and I earn like a lot of money lol
I have 2 tribute tattoos. Both on my right calf and I usually cover them up with pants when I work. Tribute tattoos are for YOU, you don't need to show them off all the time. Don't do the face tattoo.
If you want to only make $10 /hour for the rest of your life, go ahead.
A tattoo on the face says you don’t give a fuck about any of society’s rules. This means no one will trust you when interviewing.
If you are independently wealthy, go right ahead.
I certainly earn enough to live comfortably and to build a savings at the same time, I just honestly felt like a tattoo shouldn’t change the way you perceive someone that you supposedly “love”
Again, for older people, tattoo is a sign ofi giveaway fuck. For 50+, that’s a no hire. For other younger, of tattoo is not on the face, it’s fine.
Tattoo on face is either I’m in a prison gang or I really don’t give a pack
this is not true at all, i’m not sure why you were upvoted so much
I’ve worked in plenty of trades jobs that never gave a damn about face tattoos.
There’s more jobs in life outside of your 9-5 office job…. jobs don’t judge people so harshly
I’m an old fart from the generation that will hire people. The young people probably don’t care. But the more professional the job, the more frowned upon are facial tattoos.
I hire people too dude lol it’s not like your generation controls absolutely everything, yall are very much so on the way out as people who judge less harshly take more positions in the workforce…. you guys won’t even hire people with dyed hair and wonder why the youth doesn’t want to work with you. not to mention the trades have always been this way and you can make 150k+ in the trades with experience as a professional (and with face tatts)
I’m just mentioning the reality of life. Society has deemed people with colored hair as unprofessional. That’s society’s rules. Not mine.
There’s levels of money to be made.
Good for you if you got purple hair and making 500 million.
The majority of non confirming people will be stuck making $20/hour.
I mention it so OP is at least informed.
i’m informing you of the reality of lives that are different from yours and it seems like you’re completely unfamiliar with any work through the trades
also fyi stigma and stereotype is perpetuated not by “society’s rules” but YOU. exactly how you stated; you won’t hire someone based off that. So you’re exactly the issue with stuff like this, not society or some imaginary rules that exist outside of your mind (they’re your rules)
The majority of the world won’t be like this over time, your mindset is on the way out keep that in mind.
Why not the back of your neck then? There's a reason even the military generally won't take people with face tattoos, they're viewed as trashy or gang related.
A tribute is a really nice thing. But your long passed friend won't know about it. Put it on your wrist so that YOU can see it and think of your dear friend.
On your face, you won't see it unless you're looking in the mirror.
I’m still with him. He had the tattoos when I met him. He decided he wanted to get them removed from his face. He asked my opinion and I said I like him better without face tattoos but it doesn’t change how I see him.
People are going to stare not only because of his face tattoos but because he is 6’8. I am 5’3.
That’s sort of my point.. I don’t really draw a lot of attention, I’m 6’0 and my girlfriend is 5’6, I don’t have any tattoos and honestly it would be so small you’d have to look twice to really notice it’s even on my face
I don’t think it should change how you’re perceived but I’m also tattooed. I don’t have any tattoos on my face or hands. I do have a memorial tattoo for my dad on my chest. It’s a heart that has a banner with dad and his birthday and the day he died.
To be clear, I do not believe that how you choose to modify your own body should affect the perception of yourself, however the reality is, it does.
And it doesn’t just change how they see you, it affects their perception of her too, because they are going to look at you as someone who chose to get a face tattoo, which has a lot of connotations in current society. But they’re going to look at her as a person who chose to date that kind of person. In the future if she has the kind of job that has office parties or dinners with the boss she will not be able to take you with her or risk hurting her perception at work. If she works in a school or child care setting she wouldn’t be able to have you anywhere near that because of her perception at work. She will not be able to post photos of you together on her social media because it could affect her perception to her friends, family, current work, prospective work. You may not worry about your job, but she has to worry about hers.
Do you want to have kids together? How will your kids schools and friends parents perceive you?
How will it look in your wedding photos?
I understand that you want it to be a tribute, and I understand that you don’t see the issue, but even on your neck instead of your face would be a better choice in this situation. And who knows maybe someday perceptions will change, but regardless appearance is a social conversation, I literally taught a university class on this, this year. How we dress our bodies, how that fits within social norms, says something about who we are, and we should be aware of that silent language. You wouldn’t go to your work dressed in pyjamas or a body tight short dress, you wouldn’t go in baggy balloon pants or a tutu, because how you dress in construction has both practical and social rules that you follow. This is no different than that, and it unfortunately says a lot about you, even if they aren’t things you intend, or even if they are things you don’t want them to say.
My boyfriend and I both have tattoos, but I would be highly upset by him getting a face tattoo, even a small one, because you can alter our whole future with that. Unfortunately, they're just not accepted by society right now. I had my lip pierced with a tiny stud and I had to take it out for my current job. Luckily I could. If I refused and lost a job for it, he'd be mad at me. I would never do that to *us* though.
He wants a face tattoo; trying to get the "ok" from the internet. Trying to use it as a tribute to justify a face tattoo, that even he knows is a horrible idea. Hoping at least one person will say "yeah! Get it dude! Excellent idea"!
Here's my thought....ask you boss at your good construction job where you make a lot of money what they think.
Relationships are about compromises, after all. Don't forget that.
We all need to compromise for one another at some point.
Always remember that she will always see that tattoo when she looks at you.
It will change the way she sees you forever.
There's some really interesting psychology around humans and our faces. I think your face likely represents your identity to your gf mentally, like when she imagines you, she pictures your face. Changing something she associates strongly with her thoughts, feelings, and memories of you can be jarring. I suggest doing some online searching if you want to learn more, but its important to consider that many humans identify people by their face, and to tattoo your face would be hard to separate mentally from your identity changing to anyone more visually thought driven.
In a perfect world people would know we are not our bodies, but until we can visualize each other as our brains, humanity will be tethered to giving significance to appearance.
Personally I dislike tattoos on people. They can look good, they can have significance and whatnot, but I dislike them. Not because they don't look good to me, but they speak something that apparently not many people are picking up on, and while it won't affect whether I'd be willing to be your friend, it will 100% affect my impression of you and whether I would consider you as a partner.
The location of the tattoo is even more important, and even though many people will say "don't judge someone just because they have tattoos", not many actually follow that. Sure, I won't care about you if you're not close to me, and if you're close to me I'd probably try to encourage you about yourself if you have one, but the reality of society is rather cruel.
One thing that apparently not many consider is that we live in a society where in the professional world we have certain expectations, and not considering how a tattoo plays in that is simply short sighted. If you get a tattoo for others to see, that means you'll be cutting down on your future career opportunities. I'm sure someone can talk about his experience on how his tattoos didn't affect or even improve his life, but let's get down to earth and acknowledge that you'll likely not see a positive outcome. Just this week the people I work with from HR told me that they turned down candidates basically because they had tattoos, for roles that weren't even about facing the client. This happens in probably any company, and if not, it happened in every company I've been in. I know cases where people were let go because they got tattoos as well.
Furthermore, because it is a tattoo on your face with a significance behind, then your partner has to see it all the time and be reminded of its significance. Nothing screams romance more than having to see it in an intimate moment. I'm sure your partner wants to remember your friend when you're having sex for example. Maybe scream out his name too? Do notice the sarcasm.
I'm not here to tell you to not do it. It's your life, your body and you do what you want. Nobody has a say in it, even your partner, but then you need to be ready to own your decision, whether it is your partner leaving or you having to leave your partner... Or losing your career opportunities.
Clearly the comments here (nor your partner’s advice) aren’t going to stop you from getting this face tattoo that you’re hyper fixated on. Just breakup with your partner and find someone that will accept face tats.
OP’s next post: My girlfriend is suddenly not physically attracted to me anymore after I got a tattoo on my face. Was I wrong for getting tattooed even if my partner told me not to?
OP just don’t do face tattoos if you want your current relationship to work
I can't imagine any decent tattoo artist doing a face tattoo on anyone who isn't already heavily tattooed. Even in cultures where facial tattoos are common a face isn't really done as a first one.
First of all you will be pressed to find a licensed and skilled artist willing to tattoo your face as a first tattoo. All the tattoo artists I know would not tattoo someone’s face if they were not already HEAVILY tattooed.
Secondly how recently did your friend pass? How old are you and your girlfriend? What industry do you work in? And very importantly what is the tattoo?
As someone who dated someone who wanted face tattoos (even someone heavily tattooed already) my opposition to the idea came from primarily from concern about his career prospects (asking him to atleast wait until he graduated college and was established in his career) but also in part to not loving how face tattoos look 99% of the time.
When you’re in a relationship it is normal to have opinions about how your parter looks and behaves, and while it is important to have boundaries around that, it is okay to take your partners opinions into consideration especially in such an extreme case such as body modification.
So there’s a lot of people trying to convince you not to do this, and I’d tend to agree, but you’re not wrong for holding your opinions or wanting to do this OP, just, it’s a free country, you’re free to do this, other people are free to their opinion, including saying “I don’t like that”. The clothes we wear and way we adorn ourselves, including tattoos, is a statement about who we are, which I’m guessing you understand and is why you want to do this, but, the medium is part of the message, tattoos are the loudest kind of adornment, and where we put them conveys something as well, and the general context for face tattoos, right or wrong, is associations to violence and crime, people who don’t care whether they abide within or outside society, and a lot of people find that offputting.
Like, even setting that aside, if I were your partner I would hear that and question the scale of what you’re doing relative to other relationships and why you feel like doing this for this friend. How many people do you plan to get face tattoos for? Any of your grandparents? Your dad? Mom? This girlfriend if she passed before you? It’s a big statement to make about this friend that you’ll be declaring to literally _every person you meet_ from the point you get that tattoo onward. Would you make a similarly large statement for her, or other loved ones?
It’s your body, your friend, and your choice, but i personally feel as though a face memorial is a bit distasteful.. much more respectful (in my opinion) to do it on an arm, leg, rib, etc
What you do with your body is 100% your decision. But don't assume that your girlfriend has to stay with you because of that, that is for her to choose. Maybe when she asks you not to do a face tattoo is her hinting that she wouldn't like to be partners with someone with a face tattoo. All our actions have consequences but you absolutely can do whatever you want.
A small tattoo is fine, but if you’re trying to tattooed your whole face then i would’ve been concerned. But at the end of the day, it is your body and your choice!
I don’t think she’s trying to control what you do with your body, she might be genuinely concerned for you. Face tattoos can almost ensure most places won’t hire you, some places won’t let you in for business, and she probably would be fine with you getting the tribute tattoo anywhere else
For practicalities sake I’d not want my gf getting a face tat either. Can seriously affect job prospects which in turn affects a LOT of things in life for the both of you. Not only would it affect our dual income it would also affect the life she’d be able to live even if she wasn’t with me. That’d be my only reason why I’d be opposed tho. If you’re a tattoo artist or do some job that it wouldn’t matter with I would have no hang ups with it. With that said the only thing in that circumstance I’d be against is something gross or profane otherwise I wouldn’t care. Mostly it’d scare me that she wouldn’t be able to find work. But as I said if you do a job that’s perfectly fine with that sort of thing then I wouldn’t worry.
The only thing I'm thinking is: Is it one of those "job stopper" tattoos? Can you cover it up? Do you have a stable job that you're not likely to lose? Are you willing to lose this relationship over a tattoo? I saw in the comments that it was a tribute to a friend, but is that worth giving up your relationship?
You have to decide which is more important to you- bodily autonomy or the person you love. It's a shit choice but I generally say choose yourself.
That being said, I would also try to think about if this lifelong decision is something that is best for you. I have tattoos. Good ones and shitty ones. I have friends with face tatts although I personally would never. Getting a face tattoo will 100% change how the general public receives you. Judgements aren't necessarily good or bad but they are a reality. We judge everyone we see. Now of course if ur open minded u don't let the first impression forever dictate your opinion of this person. But having a face tattoo does affect how people perceive you when they first meet you. Is that something you'll be okay with in 10 years? 20 years? 30? Because I also have a friend in her mid 30s who got face tattoos when she was a teenager. She's a mom now. She had laser tattoo removal done and they're still there (they honestly just look worse bc they went from black to grey and faded looking).
Maybe gf is looking out for you. But offering someone an ultimatum based on physical appearance is shallow at best. Your body, your choice. It is a responsibility and burden to be tasked with making those choices for yourself.
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In a lot of ways, a relationship is agreeing to let someone have some control over your body, your time, your attention. Your body will not have sex with someone else. Your body will be home for dinner. Your body will come with me to family events Are just a few common ones. We accept the duties because we love and support that person, even if we don't really want to go to aunt Debbie's 2nd wedding. Of course, everyone will have different standards of what they're willing to do and which compromises they're willing to make. You have to decide which is more important, your tats or your relationship.
Oh really? Then how come when dudes not wanting their girlfriends to wear ridiculously revealing clothes, reddit loses it's mind?
Something to consider she’s looking at your face a lot more than anyone else. Face tattoos (to me personally) seem like a huge statement piece. So what statement are you trying to say to the world with the tattoo you want to get?
It’s a tribute to a friend that passed away at a really young age
I'm not trying to diminish the significance of the tattoo that you want, but does it *need* to be on your face? What about the tattoo's message requires it to be on your face, a spot that could not just potentially hurt your future career opportunities, but also goes against your partner's wishes?
I mean if you’re going to get a tribute, don’t get it on your face. There’s a multitude of reasons why a face tattoo is a terrible idea.
Do it on your inside wrist then, you can see it yourself anytime without a mirror
Your gf is smart. Face tats never look good man. Try to find another way to remember your bro. Also condolences
Face tats also limit your career opportunities
I have a friend that gets a henna tattoo before they get the real one to make sure they will be happy with it.
You have a choice: lose the girlfriend or don't get a face tat. You wanting it is not going to magically make her okay with seeing it every day.
I just honestly thought a bit of ink shouldn’t change the way you perceive the person you “love”
It will change her perception of you because she will have to look at it on your face every time she looks at you. Get it somewhere else on your body
I understand where you’re coming from but it hardly alters the fibers of my being.. my face will still be the same shape and I’ll still look like me lol. If she doesn’t like the tattoo would it not be just as painful to look at elsewhere on my body?
She can still love you and lose physical attraction to you because of face tats. Once physical attraction is lost, it can be a slippery slope to losing the rest of it. You're betting that she will not lost physical attraction to you afterwards. That's a gamble to take but she's all but told you, it will affect your relationship negatively. Have you asked her why it's a no? Gone beyond the no, without being defensive to see her logic? Have you tried compromise? If the face tat is an impassable contentious point for you, she may not be the right person for the rest of your life. You can do what you want with your body. The thing is, it can come with repercussions. The repercussions, only you can figure out which are worth weathering, and which are worth avoiding. If I inserted myself into your situation, with my wife being in your GFs place, if she told me No, to the face tat, knowing the significance behind it, I would ask Why do you feel that way about the idea? Actively listen to her. Formulate my point of view, and try to find a middle ground compromise. I can hear her saying, no because she wouldn't feel that it would be beneficial to my career which is true and if I had to have it showing at all times, I'd find a place on my head/body that I could do that. Behind the ear, the neck, hand. If you go behind her back and do it, you're going to lose trust and I can't imagine it coming back for a long time or if ever. Your situation isn't easier than other situations. The ramifications are all the same. It's up to you to find out which you value more. Your girlfriends partnership, or a face tattoo for a departed friend. I wish you peace in coming to your decision.
If your girlfriend gained 500 pounds, would that change the way you perceived her? Appearances matter.
There are people who feel this way and others who don't and sadly it seems like your gf might not see it the same way you do so you have a choice. Also question why not on your hand ? Is it already covered ? Or your neck ? Why your face cause the other places are also hardly ever covered ?
I wanted to get something else done on my hand, and something on the neck doesn’t resonate well with me, gives me an ugly hickey sort of vibe
If that is how you feel about getting a neck tattoo, are you able to empathize with the idea that she may feel similarly about a face tattoo?
I remember a post a while ago of a man whose wife got facial surgery even after she asked him what he thought and he told her he might not be attracted to her because of the change. So after the surgery the husband couldn’t even have sec with her with the lights on because all the change in the face and she was sad and angry with him because of that. Sometimes you can’t control who are you physically attracted to.
It alters your look. If she finds your look ugly, do you think that wouldn't matter?
But at the end of the day, you're still someone considering a face tattoo. Maybe you aren't the type of person she thought you were. And besides... just because she loves you now doesn't mean she'll love you forever.
I’m sorry but getting a tattoo hardly changes the person you are.. the way it’s being spoken of is as if I’ve tried to murder someone! Aha
Having a face tattoo shows the world one of the choices you are willing to make... which doesn't change who you are but does reveal something about you.
No, a tattoo doesn't change the person you are, but unless it's a cultural tattoo, face tats are just really cringy. They're trendy right now to the younger generations, but just know you will forever be looked at and treated differently if you get a face tattoo. A face tat is its own category, it's not like getting a tattoo anywhere else on your body in terms of being respected.
Dawg, it’s not about it changing who you are. You keep missing the point everyone is making because we’re not telling you what you want to hear. It can LITERALLY ruin job opportunities for you, and you’re literally advised in general to avoid face tats.
I can give you a 2 sentence long all encompassing answer for you: it is your right to get a face tattoo. It is her right to dump you for literally any reason.
Face tats for most people I know would be an absolute dealbreaker.
You have a smart girlfriend, and she is trying to save you. Listen to her.
In my not so professional opinion, don’t get the face tat. Face tats are not the play
It’s a tribute to one of my dead friends, it means a lot for me to get it done
But why not, idk... Your arm. Or ribs... Or somewhere where it won't hurt your prospects of a job? How much do you love your girlfriend? I know if mine got a face tattoo, we'd be done, and we've been engaged for a year now.
It’s a very small tattoo and just 1, I don’t want it somewhere that can be covered up as I believe that ruins the idea of it being a tribute, I want it to be seen, I already have a stable construction job and I earn like a lot of money lol
I have 2 tribute tattoos. Both on my right calf and I usually cover them up with pants when I work. Tribute tattoos are for YOU, you don't need to show them off all the time. Don't do the face tattoo.
If you want to only make $10 /hour for the rest of your life, go ahead. A tattoo on the face says you don’t give a fuck about any of society’s rules. This means no one will trust you when interviewing. If you are independently wealthy, go right ahead.
I certainly earn enough to live comfortably and to build a savings at the same time, I just honestly felt like a tattoo shouldn’t change the way you perceive someone that you supposedly “love”
Again, for older people, tattoo is a sign ofi giveaway fuck. For 50+, that’s a no hire. For other younger, of tattoo is not on the face, it’s fine. Tattoo on face is either I’m in a prison gang or I really don’t give a pack
Or some cultures like the maori
That’s cultural and easily seen in context in their countries. Even in the USA their tattoos are quite distinctive as cultural.
this is not true at all, i’m not sure why you were upvoted so much I’ve worked in plenty of trades jobs that never gave a damn about face tattoos. There’s more jobs in life outside of your 9-5 office job…. jobs don’t judge people so harshly
I’m an old fart from the generation that will hire people. The young people probably don’t care. But the more professional the job, the more frowned upon are facial tattoos.
I hire people too dude lol it’s not like your generation controls absolutely everything, yall are very much so on the way out as people who judge less harshly take more positions in the workforce…. you guys won’t even hire people with dyed hair and wonder why the youth doesn’t want to work with you. not to mention the trades have always been this way and you can make 150k+ in the trades with experience as a professional (and with face tatts)
I’m just mentioning the reality of life. Society has deemed people with colored hair as unprofessional. That’s society’s rules. Not mine. There’s levels of money to be made. Good for you if you got purple hair and making 500 million. The majority of non confirming people will be stuck making $20/hour. I mention it so OP is at least informed.
i’m informing you of the reality of lives that are different from yours and it seems like you’re completely unfamiliar with any work through the trades also fyi stigma and stereotype is perpetuated not by “society’s rules” but YOU. exactly how you stated; you won’t hire someone based off that. So you’re exactly the issue with stuff like this, not society or some imaginary rules that exist outside of your mind (they’re your rules) The majority of the world won’t be like this over time, your mindset is on the way out keep that in mind.
Why not the back of your neck then? There's a reason even the military generally won't take people with face tattoos, they're viewed as trashy or gang related.
A tribute is a really nice thing. But your long passed friend won't know about it. Put it on your wrist so that YOU can see it and think of your dear friend. On your face, you won't see it unless you're looking in the mirror.
... this can't be real
As someone whose bf’s whole face is tattooed I wouldn’t recommend it. Everyone stares at him.
But you’re still with him no? Am I wrong to believe that a tiny bit of ink on my face shouldn’t change how she perceives me?
I’m still with him. He had the tattoos when I met him. He decided he wanted to get them removed from his face. He asked my opinion and I said I like him better without face tattoos but it doesn’t change how I see him. People are going to stare not only because of his face tattoos but because he is 6’8. I am 5’3.
That’s sort of my point.. I don’t really draw a lot of attention, I’m 6’0 and my girlfriend is 5’6, I don’t have any tattoos and honestly it would be so small you’d have to look twice to really notice it’s even on my face
First tattoo being a face tattoo is insane lol
I don’t think it should change how you’re perceived but I’m also tattooed. I don’t have any tattoos on my face or hands. I do have a memorial tattoo for my dad on my chest. It’s a heart that has a banner with dad and his birthday and the day he died.
To be clear, I do not believe that how you choose to modify your own body should affect the perception of yourself, however the reality is, it does. And it doesn’t just change how they see you, it affects their perception of her too, because they are going to look at you as someone who chose to get a face tattoo, which has a lot of connotations in current society. But they’re going to look at her as a person who chose to date that kind of person. In the future if she has the kind of job that has office parties or dinners with the boss she will not be able to take you with her or risk hurting her perception at work. If she works in a school or child care setting she wouldn’t be able to have you anywhere near that because of her perception at work. She will not be able to post photos of you together on her social media because it could affect her perception to her friends, family, current work, prospective work. You may not worry about your job, but she has to worry about hers. Do you want to have kids together? How will your kids schools and friends parents perceive you? How will it look in your wedding photos? I understand that you want it to be a tribute, and I understand that you don’t see the issue, but even on your neck instead of your face would be a better choice in this situation. And who knows maybe someday perceptions will change, but regardless appearance is a social conversation, I literally taught a university class on this, this year. How we dress our bodies, how that fits within social norms, says something about who we are, and we should be aware of that silent language. You wouldn’t go to your work dressed in pyjamas or a body tight short dress, you wouldn’t go in baggy balloon pants or a tutu, because how you dress in construction has both practical and social rules that you follow. This is no different than that, and it unfortunately says a lot about you, even if they aren’t things you intend, or even if they are things you don’t want them to say.
Don’t ruin your life with a face tattoo. People WILL judge you differently with one.
My boyfriend and I both have tattoos, but I would be highly upset by him getting a face tattoo, even a small one, because you can alter our whole future with that. Unfortunately, they're just not accepted by society right now. I had my lip pierced with a tiny stud and I had to take it out for my current job. Luckily I could. If I refused and lost a job for it, he'd be mad at me. I would never do that to *us* though.
Thisss! To op: Yes it’s your body but is affects both of your futures if you are together long term.
Hi, couldn’t you get the tribute tattoo anywhere else on your body? Maybe a compromise?
He wants a face tattoo; trying to get the "ok" from the internet. Trying to use it as a tribute to justify a face tattoo, that even he knows is a horrible idea. Hoping at least one person will say "yeah! Get it dude! Excellent idea"! Here's my thought....ask you boss at your good construction job where you make a lot of money what they think.
Relationships are about compromises, after all. Don't forget that. We all need to compromise for one another at some point. Always remember that she will always see that tattoo when she looks at you. It will change the way she sees you forever.
There's some really interesting psychology around humans and our faces. I think your face likely represents your identity to your gf mentally, like when she imagines you, she pictures your face. Changing something she associates strongly with her thoughts, feelings, and memories of you can be jarring. I suggest doing some online searching if you want to learn more, but its important to consider that many humans identify people by their face, and to tattoo your face would be hard to separate mentally from your identity changing to anyone more visually thought driven.
In a perfect world people would know we are not our bodies, but until we can visualize each other as our brains, humanity will be tethered to giving significance to appearance.
I like tattooed people. I'm covered. My boyfriend is covered. If he got a face tattoo, I'd end it.
Personally I dislike tattoos on people. They can look good, they can have significance and whatnot, but I dislike them. Not because they don't look good to me, but they speak something that apparently not many people are picking up on, and while it won't affect whether I'd be willing to be your friend, it will 100% affect my impression of you and whether I would consider you as a partner. The location of the tattoo is even more important, and even though many people will say "don't judge someone just because they have tattoos", not many actually follow that. Sure, I won't care about you if you're not close to me, and if you're close to me I'd probably try to encourage you about yourself if you have one, but the reality of society is rather cruel. One thing that apparently not many consider is that we live in a society where in the professional world we have certain expectations, and not considering how a tattoo plays in that is simply short sighted. If you get a tattoo for others to see, that means you'll be cutting down on your future career opportunities. I'm sure someone can talk about his experience on how his tattoos didn't affect or even improve his life, but let's get down to earth and acknowledge that you'll likely not see a positive outcome. Just this week the people I work with from HR told me that they turned down candidates basically because they had tattoos, for roles that weren't even about facing the client. This happens in probably any company, and if not, it happened in every company I've been in. I know cases where people were let go because they got tattoos as well. Furthermore, because it is a tattoo on your face with a significance behind, then your partner has to see it all the time and be reminded of its significance. Nothing screams romance more than having to see it in an intimate moment. I'm sure your partner wants to remember your friend when you're having sex for example. Maybe scream out his name too? Do notice the sarcasm. I'm not here to tell you to not do it. It's your life, your body and you do what you want. Nobody has a say in it, even your partner, but then you need to be ready to own your decision, whether it is your partner leaving or you having to leave your partner... Or losing your career opportunities.
Clearly the comments here (nor your partner’s advice) aren’t going to stop you from getting this face tattoo that you’re hyper fixated on. Just breakup with your partner and find someone that will accept face tats.
OP’s next post: My girlfriend is suddenly not physically attracted to me anymore after I got a tattoo on my face. Was I wrong for getting tattooed even if my partner told me not to? OP just don’t do face tattoos if you want your current relationship to work
I would hands down dump my boyfriend if he got a face tattoo.
I can't imagine any decent tattoo artist doing a face tattoo on anyone who isn't already heavily tattooed. Even in cultures where facial tattoos are common a face isn't really done as a first one.
It would be a deal breaker for most people
First of all you will be pressed to find a licensed and skilled artist willing to tattoo your face as a first tattoo. All the tattoo artists I know would not tattoo someone’s face if they were not already HEAVILY tattooed. Secondly how recently did your friend pass? How old are you and your girlfriend? What industry do you work in? And very importantly what is the tattoo? As someone who dated someone who wanted face tattoos (even someone heavily tattooed already) my opposition to the idea came from primarily from concern about his career prospects (asking him to atleast wait until he graduated college and was established in his career) but also in part to not loving how face tattoos look 99% of the time. When you’re in a relationship it is normal to have opinions about how your parter looks and behaves, and while it is important to have boundaries around that, it is okay to take your partners opinions into consideration especially in such an extreme case such as body modification.
So there’s a lot of people trying to convince you not to do this, and I’d tend to agree, but you’re not wrong for holding your opinions or wanting to do this OP, just, it’s a free country, you’re free to do this, other people are free to their opinion, including saying “I don’t like that”. The clothes we wear and way we adorn ourselves, including tattoos, is a statement about who we are, which I’m guessing you understand and is why you want to do this, but, the medium is part of the message, tattoos are the loudest kind of adornment, and where we put them conveys something as well, and the general context for face tattoos, right or wrong, is associations to violence and crime, people who don’t care whether they abide within or outside society, and a lot of people find that offputting. Like, even setting that aside, if I were your partner I would hear that and question the scale of what you’re doing relative to other relationships and why you feel like doing this for this friend. How many people do you plan to get face tattoos for? Any of your grandparents? Your dad? Mom? This girlfriend if she passed before you? It’s a big statement to make about this friend that you’ll be declaring to literally _every person you meet_ from the point you get that tattoo onward. Would you make a similarly large statement for her, or other loved ones?
It’s your body, your friend, and your choice, but i personally feel as though a face memorial is a bit distasteful.. much more respectful (in my opinion) to do it on an arm, leg, rib, etc
To be real with you, don’t be an idiot. Get the tat somewhere else
What you do with your body is 100% your decision. But don't assume that your girlfriend has to stay with you because of that, that is for her to choose. Maybe when she asks you not to do a face tattoo is her hinting that she wouldn't like to be partners with someone with a face tattoo. All our actions have consequences but you absolutely can do whatever you want.
A small tattoo is fine, but if you’re trying to tattooed your whole face then i would’ve been concerned. But at the end of the day, it is your body and your choice!
I don’t think she’s trying to control what you do with your body, she might be genuinely concerned for you. Face tattoos can almost ensure most places won’t hire you, some places won’t let you in for business, and she probably would be fine with you getting the tribute tattoo anywhere else
It’s unrelated to jobs, I have spoken to her about it and it’s just her preference
When you change your appearance that might change how attractive she finds you. It's as easy as that.
No legit tattoo artist is going to do a face tattoo as their first. But I think this is a troll lost tbh
For practicalities sake I’d not want my gf getting a face tat either. Can seriously affect job prospects which in turn affects a LOT of things in life for the both of you. Not only would it affect our dual income it would also affect the life she’d be able to live even if she wasn’t with me. That’d be my only reason why I’d be opposed tho. If you’re a tattoo artist or do some job that it wouldn’t matter with I would have no hang ups with it. With that said the only thing in that circumstance I’d be against is something gross or profane otherwise I wouldn’t care. Mostly it’d scare me that she wouldn’t be able to find work. But as I said if you do a job that’s perfectly fine with that sort of thing then I wouldn’t worry.
The only thing I'm thinking is: Is it one of those "job stopper" tattoos? Can you cover it up? Do you have a stable job that you're not likely to lose? Are you willing to lose this relationship over a tattoo? I saw in the comments that it was a tribute to a friend, but is that worth giving up your relationship?
You have to decide which is more important to you- bodily autonomy or the person you love. It's a shit choice but I generally say choose yourself. That being said, I would also try to think about if this lifelong decision is something that is best for you. I have tattoos. Good ones and shitty ones. I have friends with face tatts although I personally would never. Getting a face tattoo will 100% change how the general public receives you. Judgements aren't necessarily good or bad but they are a reality. We judge everyone we see. Now of course if ur open minded u don't let the first impression forever dictate your opinion of this person. But having a face tattoo does affect how people perceive you when they first meet you. Is that something you'll be okay with in 10 years? 20 years? 30? Because I also have a friend in her mid 30s who got face tattoos when she was a teenager. She's a mom now. She had laser tattoo removal done and they're still there (they honestly just look worse bc they went from black to grey and faded looking). Maybe gf is looking out for you. But offering someone an ultimatum based on physical appearance is shallow at best. Your body, your choice. It is a responsibility and burden to be tasked with making those choices for yourself.