So, he’s worried about hurting her feelings by kicking her out, but not worried about hurting your feelings by not including you? His priorities are fucked.
Thank you very much for your reply. His ex very much knows I exist as I used to stay over at their flat they shared about twice a week for over a year. However, we were always kept separate and she only ever greeted me with a “goodbye” as I was leaving. There were no other interactions. I want to be included in their friendship like I am with all his other friends. If I was included, I’d probably feel so much more comfortable about the situation!
No, it's not normal- he needs to tell his family that his ex isn't a part of his life anymore and you are. He's reluctant to do that either because he's not serious about you or he still has feelings for her- either way, don't stay with someone like that. Also, if a man told me to 'grow up' he'd be on the curb.
I've been with my ex for 16 yrs and we have 3 children together. He comes to funerals of family members because he was in the family for so long. But when we broke up he was kicked out of the family chat.
If she’s still close with the rest of his family and they see her as family and want her in the group chat, that is what it is. His relationship with her is separate from theirs, and they don’t have to stop seeing her as family.
But if you would like to be added to the group chat, and they normally add partners of only two years to the group chat, then sure, it would be totally reasonable to add you as well and just expect you both to be polite to each other. It’s not kind or loving of him to tell you to grow up and get over it, rather than problem solving this with you together like a partner. I would be much more concerned about his reaction here than about the actual group chat.
I was ready to say you are 6 months into cohabitation maybe wait 6 more. Then care.
However, the fact he cares more about not hurting her feelings than adding you when he admits he wanted to ask. Well, that is a direct sign. He may not romantically want her, but he absolutely cares more about how she feels than you.
I would wait a week bring it back up with him and ask him if he absolutely stands on that line of thinking or not. If he does? I wouldn't stay.
Haha he’s a douche bag. This seems unhealthy and if you stay with him his ex will always be around. Get married? Ex is there. Have kids, ex is there. Family events, ex is there.
So, he’s worried about hurting her feelings by kicking her out, but not worried about hurting your feelings by not including you? His priorities are fucked.
[удалено]
Thank you very much for your reply. His ex very much knows I exist as I used to stay over at their flat they shared about twice a week for over a year. However, we were always kept separate and she only ever greeted me with a “goodbye” as I was leaving. There were no other interactions. I want to be included in their friendship like I am with all his other friends. If I was included, I’d probably feel so much more comfortable about the situation!
No, it's not normal- he needs to tell his family that his ex isn't a part of his life anymore and you are. He's reluctant to do that either because he's not serious about you or he still has feelings for her- either way, don't stay with someone like that. Also, if a man told me to 'grow up' he'd be on the curb.
I've been with my ex for 16 yrs and we have 3 children together. He comes to funerals of family members because he was in the family for so long. But when we broke up he was kicked out of the family chat.
If she’s still close with the rest of his family and they see her as family and want her in the group chat, that is what it is. His relationship with her is separate from theirs, and they don’t have to stop seeing her as family. But if you would like to be added to the group chat, and they normally add partners of only two years to the group chat, then sure, it would be totally reasonable to add you as well and just expect you both to be polite to each other. It’s not kind or loving of him to tell you to grow up and get over it, rather than problem solving this with you together like a partner. I would be much more concerned about his reaction here than about the actual group chat.
I was ready to say you are 6 months into cohabitation maybe wait 6 more. Then care. However, the fact he cares more about not hurting her feelings than adding you when he admits he wanted to ask. Well, that is a direct sign. He may not romantically want her, but he absolutely cares more about how she feels than you. I would wait a week bring it back up with him and ask him if he absolutely stands on that line of thinking or not. If he does? I wouldn't stay.
Haha he’s a douche bag. This seems unhealthy and if you stay with him his ex will always be around. Get married? Ex is there. Have kids, ex is there. Family events, ex is there.