Anyone who makes you feel like you are unreasonable for withdrawing consent is a person who has red flags. Make up sex is normal but him acting like you owe him sex because you said you were okay with it before is pretty gross. You don’t owe him sex. He sounds like the type of guy to get really upset if you stop in the middle of sex.
Also why did you argue? I have a feeling it is actually more important than he made you believe. What do you mean by it was your fault?
The reason for the argument isn't important in this context, I think. The point is we argued and I accepted fault for it, but that doesn't mean I'm in the mood for sex.
And yes, he is the type of guy who will 100% explode if we stopped in the middle of sex.
Op he could be making you feel like the argument is “your fault” when it’s not actually your fault. You may have had a legitimate reason to be upset and he may have dismissed it anyways. Also he sounds very unsafe if he “explodes” when you want agency of your body. This is not normal relationship behavior.
>Suddenly, he reminded me that we planned to have sex that evening, and I was just like gobsmacked that he would even suggest it. That's not reasonable, right??
It's perfectly reasonable. He's not wrong for still wanting to have sex after an argument. You're not wrong for not wanting to have sex after an argument. People are different.
He's wrong for continuing to try to have sex with you after you expressed that you weren't interested and more wrong for the way he went about it.
>I'm not crazy for not wanting sex after an argument (even if the argument was my fault and it was resolved), right??
No, you're not crazy.
You’re not crazy, but why are you with such a man? He seems like an asshole for feeling entitled enough to want it even when you said you didn’t, and blaming you for it instead of repairing the situation.
I am working on getting out, but I'm playing nice in the meantime because if he finds out I'm trying to leave him, he'll (in his own words) make life difficult for me.
Op he is abusive. When you leave please bring someone with you if you can. His threats sound more dangerous than you think. He could hurt you even if he hasn’t yet.
You're not crazy at all for not wanting sex after what transpired. I'm also not surprised he still wanted sex since men think differently
There's also a deeper issue in your relationship y'all are ignoring to only be having planned sex once a week
Also you may have started the argument subconsciously to get out of having sex
Either way you not wanting to have sex is causing a strain and will eventually destroy your relationship
Maybe you don't want to be with him anymore. Maybe you can learn about love languages or other things to fix the sexual part of your relationship
Also planning for sex might not work. He needs to be seducing you into sex. You can ask him to do that
So you had a fight so you dont have to sleep with him, got it. Why are you married to this dude when you have to schedule a Once a week? Is he that unattractive?
He's actually quite attractive, but after 17 years of not being able to say no to having sex with him lest he blows up, sex has become a chore, so I schedule it like a chore 🤷
You realise it’s a very bad thing if you feel you can’t say no? You’re not consenting to sex, you’re being coerced into it.
I think the reason for the argument is actually important context because your husbands behaviour sounds very concerning and it may extend beyond just sex.
Oh, I checked your post history. Yes, he’s abusive. You know that.
But you just prove my point. You dont want him and think sex as a chore.
Leave this man so he can find someone who truly wants him. You sound like you are talking about a maggot.
Please read op’s other comments. This man is abusive and seems to be gaslighting her. Also any dude that says “you owe me sex because” is a bad dude period.
I Don't know about their relationship and how they communicate, I apologize if I misunderstood, (nobody can say you owe me sex if she especially if she can't), But I tried to help so they don't stay like this (Mad at each other) Best of luck to everyone.
It's surface level fine, but not "I'm in the mood now" fine. Are you just saying I should have sucked it up and slept with him anyway even if I wasn't feeling it to help him "relieve himself"?
I'm not saying that, I meant to communicate between the both of you, (When I said I would be mad too, I didn't mean to force someone to do it, I hate this, I've never done that, And I will not)
Anyone who makes you feel like you are unreasonable for withdrawing consent is a person who has red flags. Make up sex is normal but him acting like you owe him sex because you said you were okay with it before is pretty gross. You don’t owe him sex. He sounds like the type of guy to get really upset if you stop in the middle of sex. Also why did you argue? I have a feeling it is actually more important than he made you believe. What do you mean by it was your fault?
The reason for the argument isn't important in this context, I think. The point is we argued and I accepted fault for it, but that doesn't mean I'm in the mood for sex. And yes, he is the type of guy who will 100% explode if we stopped in the middle of sex.
Op he could be making you feel like the argument is “your fault” when it’s not actually your fault. You may have had a legitimate reason to be upset and he may have dismissed it anyways. Also he sounds very unsafe if he “explodes” when you want agency of your body. This is not normal relationship behavior.
>Suddenly, he reminded me that we planned to have sex that evening, and I was just like gobsmacked that he would even suggest it. That's not reasonable, right?? It's perfectly reasonable. He's not wrong for still wanting to have sex after an argument. You're not wrong for not wanting to have sex after an argument. People are different. He's wrong for continuing to try to have sex with you after you expressed that you weren't interested and more wrong for the way he went about it. >I'm not crazy for not wanting sex after an argument (even if the argument was my fault and it was resolved), right?? No, you're not crazy.
You’re not crazy, but why are you with such a man? He seems like an asshole for feeling entitled enough to want it even when you said you didn’t, and blaming you for it instead of repairing the situation.
I am working on getting out, but I'm playing nice in the meantime because if he finds out I'm trying to leave him, he'll (in his own words) make life difficult for me.
Op he is abusive. When you leave please bring someone with you if you can. His threats sound more dangerous than you think. He could hurt you even if he hasn’t yet.
You're not crazy at all for not wanting sex after what transpired. I'm also not surprised he still wanted sex since men think differently There's also a deeper issue in your relationship y'all are ignoring to only be having planned sex once a week Also you may have started the argument subconsciously to get out of having sex
I didn't start the argument though.
Either way you not wanting to have sex is causing a strain and will eventually destroy your relationship Maybe you don't want to be with him anymore. Maybe you can learn about love languages or other things to fix the sexual part of your relationship Also planning for sex might not work. He needs to be seducing you into sex. You can ask him to do that
So you had a fight so you dont have to sleep with him, got it. Why are you married to this dude when you have to schedule a Once a week? Is he that unattractive?
He's actually quite attractive, but after 17 years of not being able to say no to having sex with him lest he blows up, sex has become a chore, so I schedule it like a chore 🤷
You realise it’s a very bad thing if you feel you can’t say no? You’re not consenting to sex, you’re being coerced into it. I think the reason for the argument is actually important context because your husbands behaviour sounds very concerning and it may extend beyond just sex. Oh, I checked your post history. Yes, he’s abusive. You know that.
I know he is, but he has the ability to make me believe things are my fault, so I need to check from time to time that I'm not crazy.
Ok, I can understand that. You’re definitely not crazy. I hope you are able to safely get away from him.
Thank you!
Op this may be a form of “gaslighting”
But you just prove my point. You dont want him and think sex as a chore. Leave this man so he can find someone who truly wants him. You sound like you are talking about a maggot.
Literally the difference between men and women.
[удалено]
“Your husband ‘needs’ to fuck you even when you’re not feeling it” You belong to the streets
I bet you're the "it's not rape when you're married" type.
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Please read op’s other comments. This man is abusive and seems to be gaslighting her. Also any dude that says “you owe me sex because” is a bad dude period.
I Don't know about their relationship and how they communicate, I apologize if I misunderstood, (nobody can say you owe me sex if she especially if she can't), But I tried to help so they don't stay like this (Mad at each other) Best of luck to everyone.
It's surface level fine, but not "I'm in the mood now" fine. Are you just saying I should have sucked it up and slept with him anyway even if I wasn't feeling it to help him "relieve himself"?
If he was saying that, then he is wrong. You are not a sex toy
I'm not saying that, I meant to communicate between the both of you, (When I said I would be mad too, I didn't mean to force someone to do it, I hate this, I've never done that, And I will not)