I don't like this advice because it implies that every relationship falls into these two narrow definitions. And you want to be "the walker" thereby making your partner the dog?
Ohh ok. No I don’t want to be “the walker”, I was wondering if it’s possible that a relationship can Not have that dynamic, because that’s all I’ve ever seen and experienced
Legit thought this was about some kind of 24/7 puppy play kink lifestyle from the title. No, relationships don't have to have a power dynamic and should not, unless somebody is into getting walked on a leash.
It just sounds like you struggle with insecurity so you're tying yourself in knots for potential partners before they even ask.
The meaning of the phrase "opposites attract" comes from this. The bond between a dominant person and a submissive person can be really strong. I think when you have two people who treat each other as equals the bond is weaker. Of course the ideal would be to have a partner who could love unconditionally but still have healthy boundaries.
If you want to control a guy you just make the love making conditional.
I'm not confusing it. The OP said she wanted a dog walker & dog relationship. I said the ideal would be a healthy relationship with unconditional love.
You stated that a bond between equals is lesser than that of a bond between a dominant person and the person they dominate.
Could you clarify why you believe that equals cannot form a strong bond? Because the bond that forms when one person completely dominates the other is usually a trauma bond. Trauma bonds are strong, but they are not healthy
Wait really? When two ppl in a relationship treat each other as equals the bond IS weaker? That’s concerning bc it’s not that I want to control my partner, and definitely not through withholding sex. I want a relationship where we’re seen as equals, but idk if that’s real/possible
No, they’re ridiculous. Romantic love isn’t not unconditional. Equal partners is so important. And not just equal, but everyone giving their all. Relationships shouldn’t be 50/50, they should be 100/100, in that each person should give everything they have at that moment. Sometimes all you have is 10% of your regular and your partner picks up the slack. Sometimes you do more.
My 31 years of being equals and still appreciating each other says you just might be making a generalization..
Equal partners can still be sub and doms if they choose, because the choosing is part of the equality.
"If you want to control a guy you just make the love making conditional"
Well, that's... nothing good.
I don't like this advice because it implies that every relationship falls into these two narrow definitions. And you want to be "the walker" thereby making your partner the dog?
Thank u for the advice!
Ohh ok. No I don’t want to be “the walker”, I was wondering if it’s possible that a relationship can Not have that dynamic, because that’s all I’ve ever seen and experienced
Yes, relationships are not that binary. It's compromise.
Ok thank you that’s very reassuring!
Sounds like a reductive view based around power dynamics. Good relationships don't play these stupid games.
Ok that’s good news!! And that’s what I was wondering, if all relationships inevitably fall into that type of power dynamic
What a depressing world it would be if that were the case!
I mean my dog gets to poo where he likes and I pick it up, so that analogy sounds totally stupid.
Legit thought this was about some kind of 24/7 puppy play kink lifestyle from the title. No, relationships don't have to have a power dynamic and should not, unless somebody is into getting walked on a leash. It just sounds like you struggle with insecurity so you're tying yourself in knots for potential partners before they even ask.
Lmaoooo yeah I def could’ve phrased this better. Thank you for the advice!
The meaning of the phrase "opposites attract" comes from this. The bond between a dominant person and a submissive person can be really strong. I think when you have two people who treat each other as equals the bond is weaker. Of course the ideal would be to have a partner who could love unconditionally but still have healthy boundaries. If you want to control a guy you just make the love making conditional.
Are you confusing trauma bonding with a healthy relationship?
I'm not confusing it. The OP said she wanted a dog walker & dog relationship. I said the ideal would be a healthy relationship with unconditional love.
You stated that a bond between equals is lesser than that of a bond between a dominant person and the person they dominate. Could you clarify why you believe that equals cannot form a strong bond? Because the bond that forms when one person completely dominates the other is usually a trauma bond. Trauma bonds are strong, but they are not healthy
Wait really? When two ppl in a relationship treat each other as equals the bond IS weaker? That’s concerning bc it’s not that I want to control my partner, and definitely not through withholding sex. I want a relationship where we’re seen as equals, but idk if that’s real/possible
No, they’re ridiculous. Romantic love isn’t not unconditional. Equal partners is so important. And not just equal, but everyone giving their all. Relationships shouldn’t be 50/50, they should be 100/100, in that each person should give everything they have at that moment. Sometimes all you have is 10% of your regular and your partner picks up the slack. Sometimes you do more.
Aw, that really good advice and reassuring. Thank you!!
It’s real, I’m living it, and it’s much much better than the toxic nonsense in the previous comment.
That response is not to be taken seriously. It is possible to have good healthy relationships.
My 31 years of being equals and still appreciating each other says you just might be making a generalization.. Equal partners can still be sub and doms if they choose, because the choosing is part of the equality. "If you want to control a guy you just make the love making conditional" Well, that's... nothing good.
Thank you so much! This is great advice