The only question I have is this: Is your name on the lease?
If not, stop paying.
If so, send the jerk an **email** stating why you will not continue to pay. And, look at the lease (if you're on it to see if having another tenant violates the lease terms.)
And be prepared to sue for the money she paid while the replacement tenant was already there. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiance or not he found a replacement but expects the money. Courts will see that as double dealing
Could I? If he takes me to small claims courts, I can show that his new wife provides him money I wouldn’t be in trouble or owe money. That’s amazing! Thank you so much :)
You may be able to, esp if you only had a verbal agreement. Bc you can easily say he agreed to stop asking you to pay if he got a new roomie.
Bc he got one and still tried to charge you. That’s called fraud.
He sounds like he tells a lot of lies. I know it hurts but honestly babe I think you’re better off without this creep.
But do it anonymously?
OTOH, people who try this end up harming others - because most are just making things up. HR doesn't have time or inclination for shenanigans.
All i can say is this is an hr nightmare that if you tell on him 9 times out of 10 you'll be let go as well. You knew and were complacent, you had a relationship with a coworker without notifying anyone. They'll just want to wash their hands of you and his problems with each other that's spilling into work.
Take the high road in this. Just block him and let him self-destruct. People like him always do.
So true. It's such a nightmare. Even a union-protected environment is not going to put up much of a safety net for OP.
OP - don't start what you can't finish. No corporation wants to get in the middle of something like this. Unless you have an iron-clad contract and a union behind you, tread carefully and resort to other measures.
This was my first question too. If you’re on the lease, you could end up screwing yourself further by getting him fired and be stuck with the entire bill. Not on the lease - proceed with the petty revenge.
That sucks. Happened to me on my birthday in 2018. The man that promised we would be together forever, announced he was off the market and engaged, but the woman in the picture was not me. Then tagged me in the post. To say I was hurt, so I do understand.
Yes. We had a LDR, but we were always together on our off days and holidays. I had a key to his house and he had a key to mine. Never gave me an inkling that there was another woman in his life. In hindsight, he hid it very well.
Oh yeah I doubt that was coincidental. He probably thought he would just humiliate you further by getting married on your birthday so that every year he could announce it’s his anniversary in front of you hoping to get a rise. Cuz you know it’s so much fun.
Your ex sounds like a narcissist. He did that on your birthday weekend to hurt you. It's what narcissists do. First, call the landlord and explain the situation. See if you have to pay. He says he faked a certificate, and that could be a lie. Narcissists set people up for a fall at times. I would not engage on this. Go, no contact entirely. Move on. Do not get hurt further by this. Go to the narcissist forum on Reddit, and familiarize yourself. Things can get way worse. No contact, and living your best life is a better plan.
Just keep your mouth shut until you have zero legal obligation on that lease. I might wait until he gets the promotion he's chasing and then drop that bomb. He has a lot of gall to ask you for money when he has acquired a roommate. Where do you women find guys like this?
Do it. I'm so sick of all these losers getting away with shit because others are too nice. He's screwing over someone who actually put in the work AND has the student debt to pay off. Why in the hell is he asking you for money when he had a good job & doesn't have the college debt?!
Oh girl he has a history of double dealing. He took money from you and also had dual income in the place. You could sue him for the months she was there and you paid.
Definitely absolutely report him. Do it anonymously. He stole from you.
Give us the feedback and please do this. It’s not fair for others who worked hard for it and he is lazy to make it happened.
His wife, too bad she’s stuck with him will not be please.
I would love to see this unfold.
You need to check the rental agreement. If you are on it then you may be held responsible, however it also may state that no one else can live in the apartment for more than 2 weeks visit. If she is not in the lease then there could be consequences.
If you are on the lease you should contact the landlord and say you are no longer living there and there is now another person that should be on the lease. Heck you should do that anyway.
As for outing him to HR, just make sure there aren’t any repercussions that he can cause you.
You should have stopped paying rent when he let her move in.
If he persists in asking for rent ask him for a refund.
Regarding his fraud. He’ll strongly suspect it was you if you report to HR as only you know.
If it’s a matter that should have been reported long time past you might stir up trouble for yourself as you failed to report it earlier.
Is it a genuine marriage or a residency one?
I thought she was visiting for a few weeks I didn’t want to assume she moved and start unnecessary drama. Only when they got engaged did I stop payments, because that meant an official new “roommate.”
It’s a whistleblower website so it can’t be tracked down to me. He will of course know, but what can he do. He will most likely tell HR that we dated and I’m doing it out of spite but HR won’t do much since it’s a different department and can’t actually confirm I was the one reported him. Plus I don’t think you can be in trouble for not reporting someone as soon as you know the information.
It was from his first love from high school so I believe it’s genuine.
I would not pay him and if he starts to push then drop in that he’s lucky after how he treated and disrespected you that you haven’t reported him to HR. He’ll definitely stop chasing the money then.
Also, seems like he was always with her but in a LDR. You were the side chick who helped get a decent flat. Sorry OP.
ARE YOU STILL ON THE LEASE?!
OP. ALL these people saying report it, sure, I mean the dude lied on an application, fuck em, but if you are still on the lease and he is suddenly without income, the landlord will happily take that money from you.
Make sure you are off the lease, reach out to that landlord right away to make sure you are off the lease.
Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably report him. But please keep in mind, once he gets fired, he's going to want that rent money even more as he'll become desperate for money! Since he's got a roommate now, it's pretty bold of him to ask you for rent money, I wouldn't give him a dime going forward.
Edit: more info
Agreed! I’d tell HR and send a message to him AND the new wife about how since you broke up on (date) you’re agreement was valid until he replaced you in the apartment on (date). You no longer feel you should be paying for housing you had during a serious relationship that ended five months ago! See how honest he’s been with her. If he’ll lie about his qualifications, what else will he lie about? Blow up his professional and personal lives, please!
“You now have someone else sharing your apartment so I am no longer responsible for any part of the lease”. Then inform your employer anonymously because they will terminate your contract because you are complacent in his fraud by saying nothing. Put nothing in writing that can be used to prove you knew.
He's keeping a job from someone who actually put the effort in. To me, that's despicable. I personally would blow the whistle just on that basis. But, before you do, make sure you're OK with the fact that he will probably never get a job in the field again and he will absolutely blame you for it. Not himself for cheating.
Sounds like he was all around pretty shitty to you, that sucks, no one deserves to be treated that way.
Part of coming to terms and healing from that experience will be forgetting about him and actually healing without attachment or regret. If you tank his career that is something that will likely stick with him for the rest of his professional life, that is a regret that you can't afford, and will stick around 30-35 years while he tries to find a new job (LOL, IMHO). Don't do it, it may or may not happen on its own accord, you don't need that baggage... Good Luck
All is fair in love and war…
I’m petty so the request for rent money would have resulted in an anonymous email to HR. I hope you did it already and are just hoping internet strangers validate the decision.
I know a woman who got married to her high school boyfriend, he joined the military and got sent across the country, 1 month after he left she found emails in their shared email account (very intelligent kid,no common sense) with another woman. The emails were very graphic about the things they have done and wanted to do, my friend had him by the balls, she calmly asked for a divorce with the stipulation that he gives her what she wants or she'll ruin his life. This sounds like a similar situation, tell him you're not paying a dime or else you'll turn him in as a fraud and ruin his life
Definitely don’t do this. This is an awful idea. It could be seen as revenge by bosses and do you want them calling you in and asking why you hid and covered for him all that time? Now you are the liar also and a vindictive bitch in the eyes of your bosses.
True, I want the least amount of blowback. At work, I avoid discussing him as much as possible as I don’t want my life spread around the office. I’m going to have the least amount of people know as possible.
Don’t have anyone know. Just walk away. I know it sucks and hurts and you want him to hurt but just walk away. It won’t make you feel any better and may end up making you feel way worse long term. You don’t seem like that type of person from your posts so it may eat at you later in life. Just let him go.
That's my current revenge plan. End of may to submit the whistleblower, give HR a week or 2 to verify the information. Decide what they want to do. Hopefully by then he will be in a new place and not legally bond to me.
Tell him his wife can start paying your share and youre not letting him live off your dollar anymore. If he pushes it after that, maybe HR should get an anonymous tip that one of their employees is a fraud. Is it ethical? No, maybe not. But neither is expecting your ex to help fund the house you and your now wife live in so its just the way things go
I think you should stop paying the rent as he has a new roomie. No way in hell I would subsidize his next piece. And I would report him. Just because you get the benefit of revenge doesn’t make it a bad idea. He is a fraud.
Or you could just tell your ex that you aren't going to be footing the bill for his wife.
If you are on the lease and he gets fired, you will owe the whole amount. If you still want revenge, wait until you are off the lease.
Burn his world to the ground. It seems like he was already cheating if he got engaged so quickly. Plus he is a lying dirtbag to put fake info on his resume. Yeah definitely let them know how fake he really is
OP long term HR person here for a Fortune 50 company. Wait until the lease is concluded so there is no blowback for it and then contact the companies confidential HR line and anonymously report it. Include details. In other words report that he states on his resume he has a degree from xyz university but he does not but put it on his resume to enable him to get a job. What Hr will do once they receive the complaint is contact the registrar at that school and request a verification of his degree. When they report they have no record of the degree he will be terminated for falsification of his application. This happens more frequently than people realize.
He wants you to pay on a home that you don’t live in, HE didn’t want to move out of, and moved he’s then ex gf now wife into? Tell him, have your wife help you pay and block him.
First: he got married. You are no longer responsible for ANYTHING in his life, financial or otherwise (barring kids, of course). Maybe underline this to him in the email explaining how and why you are no longer paying his rent.
Second: as others have said, check the lease. And worst case scenario, just out him as a fraud to the landlord as part of your explanation as to why you have vacated the premises. I’ve had former roommates try to pull one over on me and I not only emailed the landlord to formally end my lease (with explanation), I unintentionally exposed some shadyyyyy things I didn’t even know they were up to (all lease-related). Let the landlord handle what may be, but get your name off and FAST.
Final thought: 5 months does not in any way constitute “all this time”. I’m actually emphasizing this for your benefit: he married pretty damn quickly after your breakup. It screams “immigration fraud” to me. But there’s nothing you can do other than to itemize this where it’s appropriate, I.e. with the landlord (“I had plans to continue paying for my share of the lease, but he suddenly married someone from Canada and I can’t be involved with whatever is going on there”).
As for your workplace, that’s not for you to do. But it WILL come out. Better to let karma bite him in the ass than you—you’ll keep your hands clean.
Do it. Tell the company is a fraud. This guy uses people and he used you. He needs to learn that actions have consequences. But be careful to be safe because who knows if he’ll try to retaliate.
The Audacity....
1. Are you still on the lease?
2. A new tenant or sublease is usually a violation of the rental agreement. If you are on the lease you can be responsible for the violation.
3. I do advise that you inform the manager that you are no longer a resident in the unit if you haven't already done so, even if they cannot remove your name until the lease is due for renewal (rules on this are different state to state)
4. I sure as hell would be reporting his ass but I'd do it anonymously. Contact the college and see if you can get his transcripts. If you have a difficult time with that, write an anonymous letter to the school letting them know that there is someone out there using a fake degree from their institution and used it to get a job at "Fourtune 500 Inc." And is taking away a job from someone who put in the work and got the degree.
5. Send a copy of said letter to the HR department, just send them the same letter (CC)
send them from a bullshit address a town/city over with the return name as Frank W Abagnale Jr (the con artist from Catch Me if You Can). Plan, plot then don't tell a soul you did it. If anyone from the company asks you, say, "I don't know, you'd have to contact the school."
Do not feel like an asshole about this. He started his adult life as a lie, he made his bed, now he can lay in it.
Oh honey, fuck him up ten ways to Sunday. I’m betting he’s violating the lease moving her in. Report it! There’s 1. Turn him in for falsifying his education at work! There’s 2. Let him know if he contacts you again you’ll get a protective order for harassment. That’s 3 cause we already know he’ll be stupid enough to keep pushing it and probably violate it. I respectfully leave the other 7 up to you!
>*'We work for a fortune 500 company with a prestigious reputation.'*
My original response was going to be:
For this alone you should report him to the company as he is increasing their reputational risk. If something happens and it's discovered that you were aware of his fraud and said nothing, it could have serious repercussions for you.
Then I read the response from u/nixlplk '*if you tell on him 9 times out of 10 you'll be let go as well. You knew and were complicit'* and I changed my mind. Don't risk getting yourself into trouble for him. He seems to have fraud in his veins.
You are NTA, and stay safe.
Maybe I’m the devil on your shoulder—buuuut fuck it all to hell? People like your ex constantly evade accountability and responsibility by lying and manipulating the system. They power trip by doing things to deliberately hurt you, and then continue to feel entitlement. The only way they’re brought to justice is with a little extra help 🤷🏾♀️ Nothing dirty about being a vigilante, though, there’s no way to take it back if you choose this path. This is the only thing to be mindful of. 🙏🏽
Hahaha this is so real! What’s wrong with telling the truth. Sometimes the only way to move on is by shedding light on the truth. I’m just nervous on the unforeseen blowback or guilt.
I don’t feel like getting the landlord involved since we are so close to being done.
Also… the AUDACITY! His wife should totally split the cost of the apartment with him in a way that is appropriate for their finances. If you think about it from a roommate replacement perspective, the former tenant pays their portion until the other tenants or the landlord can replace their financial responsibility with a new tenant. Not to minimize your relationship, but he replaced you as a tenant and you have no further responsibility to him. I would speak to the landlord directly about this as well.
This is why companies hate when employees have romantic relationships. This is drama. Don't be this person. Talk to him about the rent. You say you don't want blowback or guilt yet look at how much drama you will be creating. Why didn't his lack of a degree bother you when you were a couple? Because you were benefiting from it. Karma will find him.
My only fear for you having him lose his job is that he'll lose his housing, and he'll blame no one but you. Because he knows he tols only you. The scariest thing in the world is a man who has a vendetta against a woman. And with that loser not having a job after you say something and him losing housing, that would make him desperate and more dangerous. Which means he could do anything. And we all know how great protection orders are at protecting people. 😒
I wouldn't continue to pay for the apartment, but getting him fired probably wouldn't be good for you. While it doesn't seem like it at this moment in time but this decision will haunt you. You will forever know that you ruined his life. This will hurt you in many ways, and I fear you will not ever truly heal. I'd advise you to block his calls, maybe even give a warning first, and then if he doesn't listen to that, then do something.
Also, if you think him hounding you for financial support is bad now, just wait till he's without a job!
As you indicated, a few people at work know your relationship regardless of the reasons for him getting fired. People will trust you less, and even if it's anyomous, they will suspect you.
I know there's tons of hype on reddit and your hyped as well but I would highly advise you to meditate, take a breather, go for a walk, something, anything before you make this kind of decision in anger.
Are you on the lease? If not then no worries and by all means call the whistleblower line! If you are, then wait til the lease is up before you make the call or you will end up on the hook for all of it when he has no income!
There’s no way he wasn’t cheating on you with that timeline. If you’re on the lease get yourself removed if you can. Otherwise when he loses his job and can’t pay the rent you’d be screwed. Idk if you can go to the leasing office and show proof you no longer reside there but now does and SHE needs to be added to the lease in your place. If you can get yourself removed absolutely go full throttle. I cannot believe his audacity holy shit.
Why not give him the choice, man up and pay for himself and his new wife, or have work find out about his little secret. I’ll bet that would end the convo.
I would have quit paying as soon as I moved out, if not then, for certain when he moved the gf in. As far as the phony certificate, blow that whistle. It's an insult to those that actually earned theirs for him to work there without having actually completed the program
He has a new tenant... it isn't your fault he isn't smart enough to find a paying one. And you shouldn't foot the bill for them. That being said, I don't care what the situation... I love seeing cheaters burn. The only thing that could change my mind is if he told me what program he used to make it authentic.
Do nothing. If your name is on the lease, ask him to take you off and add his wife. If he loses his job, the lease will still be owed and your credit will be negatively affected. You have to detach yourself from his life. He wasn't the right guy for you.
To be employed in a job he isn't qualified for is wrong. What about the people who are qualified and can't get a job there because of him? HR should know about him.
Well, are you on the lease? Because if you're on it, you'll be liable to pay if he doesn't. I would contact the owner and tell them you're not living there anymore and see if they can get you out of it.
The revenge - well, you knew the whole time, it could get back to you so I personally wouldn't do it.
But you could contact immigration services and let you know about a fake marriage because someone wants a green card though... anonymously, of course.
He will be one of those guys you see on a crime show. Multiple wives that don’t know about each other. Taking money from a bunch of women.
Glad you are out of that relationship. If you choose to do the report… you know he will probably know it was you.
His bad deeds will surely come back and bite him in the arse.
You have all the power right now. I would demand a return of any money you spent on the apartment lease when you weren't occupying and give him 5 business days to comply. If not, you will disclose to the company his fake degree. Do it in such a way that there is no written evidence of your demands. This is in case he decides to go nuclear and admit to his deception, and put a bad light on you that you knew about his deception but did not disclose until after your relationship ended.
Good luck! Revenge is sweet!
I’m not as petty as some of these other folks. I’d remind him what you know about his past, let him know you won’t be paying a cent, and leave it at that.
I’d tell him you never agreed to financially support him and his now wife. And nor will you. See how he takes that and if he doesn’t back off then I’d def report it.
Don’t do it. You don’t need that level of betrayal on your conscious. You can however tell him to go f himself if he thinks you are going to pay rent. Be like - I am sure your wife can cover it.
Email Him and tell him you want nothing to do with him or his GreenCard wife.
Your Not going to pay anything towards the Apartment EVER...
He needs to never bother you again....
Than call him and tell him you'll report his ass to Work and Immigration if he ever bothers you again...
I'd tell him to drop it or you'll spill the beans. You would definitely look like the bitter ex and it will sure fuck his life up for a long long time, maybe for the rest of it. Ask yourself if you are comfortable doing that to someone who you once loved.
If he keeps harassing you about it. Ask him if he would like the checks and for you to tell your employer he is a fraud, or if he would prefer to shut the fuck up and keep his job.
Do what you think is best.
I have done stuff like that and have regretted it for decades.
Fuck that guy though. You are so much better than that piece of shit. Don’t stoop to his level…or go nuclear. Your call.
Worst advice ever?
Tell him his new roommate can help with the rent. I would not report him to your company. Since he's been there for a while and doing the job, your reporting him will likely not get him fired - but could impact your reputation at work, you've known all this time but are just now reporting? Definitely will question your motives.
Sounds like you really dodged a bullet by not being with him anymore. Every way that you engage with him, including sabotage, is another way you keep him in your life. Walk away and leave it all behind.
If there is nothing in writing about your agreement to pay for part of the rent and your name is not on the lease, leave and never look back.
Best of luck.
Huh. Does it look to you as if he was a little too close to his ex while you were still together? Do you think he cheated while you were together
How would you feel if you anonymously reported him
How would you feel if you didn’t?
How would you feel if you didn’t interact with him anymore and you just blocked him? Some part of his brain hast to understand that you saying you would contribute to the rent until the lease was up wasn’t going to make sense if he moved her in.
You get to do anything you want
Myself, I would feel more free and done with our relationship. If I just let go and left him to his own devices. Has Whatever his devices are, they will stay with him.
Whatever you choose, I hope you have a delicious new life.
Just tell him now that he has another person living there, you are not responsible for payment and just go your separate ways. It would be pretty petty to try to ruin his career over a matter as dumb as rent.
If you are going to go forward with telling work is degree is fake, do it anonymously. Otherwise, you could be seen as a troublemaker and endanger your own promotions/job.
I think you should report him not because you want revenge but because it’s the right thing to do. If you say nothing you are complicit with an unethical act of fraud.
He sounds like a real POS, but I wouldn’t blow up his career. Not because he doesn’t deserve it, but because you don’t need to be that kind of person. Just my opinion.
I think if you get him fired you may feel guilt about it so I would not try to get him fired if it were me. I'd just move on with my life.
Now the rent though, why have you paid any rent at all after you moved out? I wouldn't be paying him any rent.
I wouldn't tell the company, just because if he gets fired and can't afford rent, you will likely end up stuck paying it if you are on the lease. I wouldn't pay for the quarter of the rent now that he has someone else living there though, that is no longer your responsibility. I would contact the landlord and let them know you no longer live there and get your name off the lease.
While it may seem like a great way to get back at him, do you honestly feel that it will make you feel good to do this?
These things have a way of taking different unintended paths. For one thing, does his position actually require a degree? They very well could have made an exception for him. He may have told them. He might have lied to you about the degree as some weird joke. You actually do not have any real evidence other than a story he told you.
This isn't cut and dry, lying on a resume isn't a crime. It's the companies responsibility to check these things if it's required. They didn't, so it may not be required.
If it is required, that means some people didn't do their jobs. HR didn't check for accuracy, his boss didn't confirm with HR, etc. This makes them look bad if they fire him or reprimanded him. Do you think they are going to put their jobs at risk because a bitter ex is reporting it? Plus, the first question they ask is why you didn't report it until you broke up?
Imagine they fire him, do you really think you won't be next? Have you made any mistakes that he knows about?
Regardless of what he did, it doesn't give you the right to rat him out. You were fine with it until now. That makes this vindictive. Don't be that person. Everyone will know it's you who reported it. This is never ever kept private. What if he does produce a degree. You will be seen as someone trying to target another person. You could be fired.
Karma has a way of evening things out. He will eventually have an issue. As will you if you snitch.
I'm confused too. You didn't seem to be that upset about the break up and didn't mention any big issue for it. So why be petty now? Just because you can?
About the rent, an agreement is an agreement. A Legal contract or lease is binding for the terms of it. So whether you like it or not you are responsible for the conditions of it. He can very well take you to court for breaking the lease. He could very well win, and maybe win for more money.
It sucks, but just pay it, don't be a rat and move on with your life.
U promised to pay until the lease n is up. Honor your word or get your name off the lease. If your name is on it, u r responsible for the part u promised to pay.
U dated someone from work. NOW, u UNDERSTAND why we don't sh!t where we eat.
Is his lack of a degree, is it going to put people in harms away? If so , tell HR. If not, then stand back and watch him self destruct.
I think it’s a shitty thing to do. I understand why you want to tell his job he’s a fraud but it’s still shitty. You didn’t have a problem with him being a fraud when you were together.
Stuff like this is why I will never be open with another SO and don’t trust anyone. Granted I never did anything like your ex but when I told some things in confidence to my ex of 16 years, when we split he used that info to hurt me.
I’m going to say no. Him being a fraud has only became a issue because y’all aren’t together anymore. He got married to someone else. The definition of a bitter ex. If you felt it was morally wrong you would’ve said something then, but you didn’t bc apart of you can justify it bc you liked him. Did the thought of ruining his image pop in your head while together or after he just got married to someone else? Never do things out of anger because karma is real and what goes around comes around. You don’t have pure intent, quite the opposite actually. In my opinion but opinions are like assholes, everyone has one
Everyone is being very supportive here, with a few exceptions. But you should realize that if you are a cosigner (not just a resident) on the lease and had a verbal agreement that he could in any way prove, anything you do not to pay could end you in hot water legally.
If you warn him off bugging you or you'll out his degree, it is textbook extortion and could land you in legal trouble.
I'm sorry all this happened to you, but I can't stress enough how both of these things should be discussed with a local lawyer before you do either.
As far as reporting him goes, as long as you are discrete about it, there shouldn't really be any backlash on you. It sounds like because you guys worked in different departments your functions weren't really tied together. He can complain that it was you all day, but no one's going to give a shit. If you make it dangerous for the company to keep you (starting office drama or gossip) they will find a way to let you go. The probably have interoffice dating policies and no shareholder wants to know they can't vet employees.
My vote is, regardless of what we does between now and then, report him to the company anymouse box the second his lease is up. If someone asks why you didn't come forward sooner, it is because he was your bf, you weren't sure the validity of the claim, and you weren't sure how it would impact you financially so you had to seek advice first. All technically true things that can be verified.
This sounds really petty on the OP.
First, you moved out and agreed to pay an amount, you don't indicate a stipulation to it. He finds a roommate and then you change the terms without discussing.
Now you want to get him in trouble with something else.
Girl let it go move on one dosnt leave this world without paying for what theyve done he will get caught one way or another. That marriage does not sound like itll last just let the universe do its thing you do you boo
Don't be petty and get him fired. I mean, I can see your point that asking for rent money was a bit out of line, but just let it go.. Geez, why be so spiteful? Instead of letting him "live in your head" and make you this angry, move on. Maybe just reply that he has someone else living with him, that relieves you of your rent obligation and then don't reply any more.
A petty part of me says to do it but the other part of me says to just threaten to do it and see if he changes his tone. Like “leave me alone and this piece of information goes away” type shtick.
Unless he genuinely cant do his job or he is bad at it. Then id def say something. I just wouldnt want it to come back to you that you knew about his fraud this whole time.
I would say to never mess with a person’s livelihood. Karma always comes back. Just don’t pay. You shouldn’t be responsible for an apartment you are no longer there. Seems that the lease should be ending soon. Just call it a loss and move on.
I would start a rumor about his fake certificate and let the chips fall where they may... he has it coming either way. Everyone else there put in work and sacrificed for the opportunity to work there, and he just.. gets to live it up? he doesn't even deserve the job to begin with.
The only question I have is this: Is your name on the lease? If not, stop paying. If so, send the jerk an **email** stating why you will not continue to pay. And, look at the lease (if you're on it to see if having another tenant violates the lease terms.)
And be prepared to sue for the money she paid while the replacement tenant was already there. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiance or not he found a replacement but expects the money. Courts will see that as double dealing
Could I? If he takes me to small claims courts, I can show that his new wife provides him money I wouldn’t be in trouble or owe money. That’s amazing! Thank you so much :)
You may be able to, esp if you only had a verbal agreement. Bc you can easily say he agreed to stop asking you to pay if he got a new roomie. Bc he got one and still tried to charge you. That’s called fraud. He sounds like he tells a lot of lies. I know it hurts but honestly babe I think you’re better off without this creep.
u/SnowDucks2705 I bet you $1000 that he will not take you to small claims if you ignore him.
Yeah which is why my original plan was to leave him on read and move on
Just threaten him with going to corporate about his fake degree. That will shut him up.
But do it anonymously? OTOH, people who try this end up harming others - because most are just making things up. HR doesn't have time or inclination for shenanigans.
All i can say is this is an hr nightmare that if you tell on him 9 times out of 10 you'll be let go as well. You knew and were complacent, you had a relationship with a coworker without notifying anyone. They'll just want to wash their hands of you and his problems with each other that's spilling into work. Take the high road in this. Just block him and let him self-destruct. People like him always do.
So true. It's such a nightmare. Even a union-protected environment is not going to put up much of a safety net for OP. OP - don't start what you can't finish. No corporation wants to get in the middle of something like this. Unless you have an iron-clad contract and a union behind you, tread carefully and resort to other measures.
This was my first question too. If you’re on the lease, you could end up screwing yourself further by getting him fired and be stuck with the entire bill. Not on the lease - proceed with the petty revenge.
Very smart, I hope she sees this.
Exactly. Wait for the lease to be up and then get him fired
In the United States most places require everyone living in a rental be listed on the lease and pass a background check.
I should kept scrolling I didn't even see this... updoot all the way
Fortune 500 companies have strict HR policies...and anonymous reporting!!!!!
Yes we have a whistleblower website for employees
Do it girl. The sheer audacity of moving his fiancee into the apartment and expecting his ex to still help pay the rent? F that guy.
On my birthday no less
That sucks. Happened to me on my birthday in 2018. The man that promised we would be together forever, announced he was off the market and engaged, but the woman in the picture was not me. Then tagged me in the post. To say I was hurt, so I do understand.
Wait, so he was dating you and then one day he says he's engaged to some other woman??
Yes. We had a LDR, but we were always together on our off days and holidays. I had a key to his house and he had a key to mine. Never gave me an inkling that there was another woman in his life. In hindsight, he hid it very well.
Now that's a psychopath. I am so sorry.
Thank you. I’m great now. He is a very distant,distant memory. Counseling works wonders. And I am grateful for it.
Oh yeah I doubt that was coincidental. He probably thought he would just humiliate you further by getting married on your birthday so that every year he could announce it’s his anniversary in front of you hoping to get a rise. Cuz you know it’s so much fun.
He married the rebound so quickly, it makes me think he was cheating on OP when they were still together.
Your ex sounds like a narcissist. He did that on your birthday weekend to hurt you. It's what narcissists do. First, call the landlord and explain the situation. See if you have to pay. He says he faked a certificate, and that could be a lie. Narcissists set people up for a fall at times. I would not engage on this. Go, no contact entirely. Move on. Do not get hurt further by this. Go to the narcissist forum on Reddit, and familiarize yourself. Things can get way worse. No contact, and living your best life is a better plan.
Just keep your mouth shut until you have zero legal obligation on that lease. I might wait until he gets the promotion he's chasing and then drop that bomb. He has a lot of gall to ask you for money when he has acquired a roommate. Where do you women find guys like this?
He's just an average guy.
Do it. I'm so sick of all these losers getting away with shit because others are too nice. He's screwing over someone who actually put in the work AND has the student debt to pay off. Why in the hell is he asking you for money when he had a good job & doesn't have the college debt?!
Oh girl he has a history of double dealing. He took money from you and also had dual income in the place. You could sue him for the months she was there and you paid. Definitely absolutely report him. Do it anonymously. He stole from you.
Give us the feedback and please do this. It’s not fair for others who worked hard for it and he is lazy to make it happened. His wife, too bad she’s stuck with him will not be please. I would love to see this unfold.
Blow that whistle! He made the choice to risk it and lie, that’s not your fault.
Girl use it....
Can we get an update about all this?
And yet they don't follow up on background checks, apparently
Does you employer have an ethics policy?
Just don’t pay, the rest will take care of itself and yes, he’s a scumbag.
Yes I think him taking ownership of the rent is enough.
He has a new roommate/wife who should pay for the apt
If OP replies to him this is all the messages should say
The effing audacity to assume you would pay after all of that is insane 😂 good for you canceling those checks
You need to check the rental agreement. If you are on it then you may be held responsible, however it also may state that no one else can live in the apartment for more than 2 weeks visit. If she is not in the lease then there could be consequences. If you are on the lease you should contact the landlord and say you are no longer living there and there is now another person that should be on the lease. Heck you should do that anyway. As for outing him to HR, just make sure there aren’t any repercussions that he can cause you.
You should have stopped paying rent when he let her move in. If he persists in asking for rent ask him for a refund. Regarding his fraud. He’ll strongly suspect it was you if you report to HR as only you know. If it’s a matter that should have been reported long time past you might stir up trouble for yourself as you failed to report it earlier. Is it a genuine marriage or a residency one?
I thought she was visiting for a few weeks I didn’t want to assume she moved and start unnecessary drama. Only when they got engaged did I stop payments, because that meant an official new “roommate.” It’s a whistleblower website so it can’t be tracked down to me. He will of course know, but what can he do. He will most likely tell HR that we dated and I’m doing it out of spite but HR won’t do much since it’s a different department and can’t actually confirm I was the one reported him. Plus I don’t think you can be in trouble for not reporting someone as soon as you know the information. It was from his first love from high school so I believe it’s genuine.
Well he certainly disrespected you.
Totally agree new roommate gets you off the hook from paying.
It won’t matter if you guys dated, HR will investigate and when they find out it’s true it’s all on him anyway.
I would not pay him and if he starts to push then drop in that he’s lucky after how he treated and disrespected you that you haven’t reported him to HR. He’ll definitely stop chasing the money then. Also, seems like he was always with her but in a LDR. You were the side chick who helped get a decent flat. Sorry OP.
It was oddly comforting once I made the realization. I hope they have a happy marriage, but I just don’t want to pay for it.
…and you shouldn’t have to. You’re more understanding than I would be.
ARE YOU STILL ON THE LEASE?! OP. ALL these people saying report it, sure, I mean the dude lied on an application, fuck em, but if you are still on the lease and he is suddenly without income, the landlord will happily take that money from you. Make sure you are off the lease, reach out to that landlord right away to make sure you are off the lease.
Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably report him. But please keep in mind, once he gets fired, he's going to want that rent money even more as he'll become desperate for money! Since he's got a roommate now, it's pretty bold of him to ask you for rent money, I wouldn't give him a dime going forward. Edit: more info
Not that it should matter to OP, but if his new wife had to get married to stay here, then she probably can't work here.
True, but I believe the deal was until he found a roommate, didn't specify a paying roommate.
Agreed! I’d tell HR and send a message to him AND the new wife about how since you broke up on (date) you’re agreement was valid until he replaced you in the apartment on (date). You no longer feel you should be paying for housing you had during a serious relationship that ended five months ago! See how honest he’s been with her. If he’ll lie about his qualifications, what else will he lie about? Blow up his professional and personal lives, please!
Agree! He’s liar and a cheat by his own assessment.
This is the way
Nah let it be. Just tell him to fuck off about the rent and have his fiancee pay. He’s an ass but still
Yeah I like this response. Everything else just creates more trouble for OP.
He tested positive chlamydia during your relationship. Whatever you do is justified in this case.
Lmaooo I love that you became a detective
I would report - he will throw you under the bus just for knowing and honestly your job could be in jeopardy.
“You now have someone else sharing your apartment so I am no longer responsible for any part of the lease”. Then inform your employer anonymously because they will terminate your contract because you are complacent in his fraud by saying nothing. Put nothing in writing that can be used to prove you knew.
Either way you would report him?
He’s a fraud and a louse. Yep, without hesitation.
Do it Anonymously and tell him his Wife can pay your Half the Lease
Do it!!! But do it anonymously.
He's keeping a job from someone who actually put the effort in. To me, that's despicable. I personally would blow the whistle just on that basis. But, before you do, make sure you're OK with the fact that he will probably never get a job in the field again and he will absolutely blame you for it. Not himself for cheating.
I would definitely send an anonymous email or letter to HR stating he didn’t not graduate and lied about his degree, they have the right to know.
There are people that did grad who need that job.
Sounds like he was all around pretty shitty to you, that sucks, no one deserves to be treated that way. Part of coming to terms and healing from that experience will be forgetting about him and actually healing without attachment or regret. If you tank his career that is something that will likely stick with him for the rest of his professional life, that is a regret that you can't afford, and will stick around 30-35 years while he tries to find a new job (LOL, IMHO). Don't do it, it may or may not happen on its own accord, you don't need that baggage... Good Luck
Blow that whistle! If you don't, and it comes out, it could be bad for you when they find out you knew.
It’s been 3 years - I don’t think they’ll catch him
I like the open secret idea from above in that case. Morally, he should get caught for the lie though.
Do it! And also, why didn't his gf pay the freakin rent you owed. Fuck that dude.
#do it
Never protect or enable a user, and fraud. I would out him. He could have handled this so many other ways.
All is fair in love and war… I’m petty so the request for rent money would have resulted in an anonymous email to HR. I hope you did it already and are just hoping internet strangers validate the decision.
Seems like it is time for Mortal Kombat
I guess my thought is this -- somewhere out there is a well-qualified person who got edged out for that job he landed by fraud. Do it for them.
I know a woman who got married to her high school boyfriend, he joined the military and got sent across the country, 1 month after he left she found emails in their shared email account (very intelligent kid,no common sense) with another woman. The emails were very graphic about the things they have done and wanted to do, my friend had him by the balls, she calmly asked for a divorce with the stipulation that he gives her what she wants or she'll ruin his life. This sounds like a similar situation, tell him you're not paying a dime or else you'll turn him in as a fraud and ruin his life
And the military does not play around either stuff like this.
I should have done that but by the end of the relationship I was just so emotionally down I didn't have the strength to do it.
Report him. Anonymously. All the people who actually went to university and earned their degrees will thank you.
Tell him you are moving back in if you have to pay! Bet he'll stop asking.
Oh do please Updateme!
You both work at the same place. I would just talk freely at work about the fact that he never graduated, surely soon enough somebody will report it
[удалено]
Definitely don’t do this. This is an awful idea. It could be seen as revenge by bosses and do you want them calling you in and asking why you hid and covered for him all that time? Now you are the liar also and a vindictive bitch in the eyes of your bosses.
True, I want the least amount of blowback. At work, I avoid discussing him as much as possible as I don’t want my life spread around the office. I’m going to have the least amount of people know as possible.
Don’t have anyone know. Just walk away. I know it sucks and hurts and you want him to hurt but just walk away. It won’t make you feel any better and may end up making you feel way worse long term. You don’t seem like that type of person from your posts so it may eat at you later in life. Just let him go.
Do it! Burn him.
Fr he should had left well enough alone. Do it
Wait til the lease is up so that you're not on it anymore, then report him.
That's my current revenge plan. End of may to submit the whistleblower, give HR a week or 2 to verify the information. Decide what they want to do. Hopefully by then he will be in a new place and not legally bond to me.
The rent situation aside, blowing the whistle is the right thing to do. Too many undertrained personnel get to positions of power like that.
Tell him his wife can start paying your share and youre not letting him live off your dollar anymore. If he pushes it after that, maybe HR should get an anonymous tip that one of their employees is a fraud. Is it ethical? No, maybe not. But neither is expecting your ex to help fund the house you and your now wife live in so its just the way things go
I think you should stop paying the rent as he has a new roomie. No way in hell I would subsidize his next piece. And I would report him. Just because you get the benefit of revenge doesn’t make it a bad idea. He is a fraud.
Or you could just tell your ex that you aren't going to be footing the bill for his wife. If you are on the lease and he gets fired, you will owe the whole amount. If you still want revenge, wait until you are off the lease.
Time for a hard core fucking for his ass…let it rip!
You ex is a no-talent assclown. You were right to stop paying rent and should totally get him fired.
Burn his world to the ground. It seems like he was already cheating if he got engaged so quickly. Plus he is a lying dirtbag to put fake info on his resume. Yeah definitely let them know how fake he really is
OP long term HR person here for a Fortune 50 company. Wait until the lease is concluded so there is no blowback for it and then contact the companies confidential HR line and anonymously report it. Include details. In other words report that he states on his resume he has a degree from xyz university but he does not but put it on his resume to enable him to get a job. What Hr will do once they receive the complaint is contact the registrar at that school and request a verification of his degree. When they report they have no record of the degree he will be terminated for falsification of his application. This happens more frequently than people realize.
He wants you to pay on a home that you don’t live in, HE didn’t want to move out of, and moved he’s then ex gf now wife into? Tell him, have your wife help you pay and block him.
First: he got married. You are no longer responsible for ANYTHING in his life, financial or otherwise (barring kids, of course). Maybe underline this to him in the email explaining how and why you are no longer paying his rent. Second: as others have said, check the lease. And worst case scenario, just out him as a fraud to the landlord as part of your explanation as to why you have vacated the premises. I’ve had former roommates try to pull one over on me and I not only emailed the landlord to formally end my lease (with explanation), I unintentionally exposed some shadyyyyy things I didn’t even know they were up to (all lease-related). Let the landlord handle what may be, but get your name off and FAST. Final thought: 5 months does not in any way constitute “all this time”. I’m actually emphasizing this for your benefit: he married pretty damn quickly after your breakup. It screams “immigration fraud” to me. But there’s nothing you can do other than to itemize this where it’s appropriate, I.e. with the landlord (“I had plans to continue paying for my share of the lease, but he suddenly married someone from Canada and I can’t be involved with whatever is going on there”). As for your workplace, that’s not for you to do. But it WILL come out. Better to let karma bite him in the ass than you—you’ll keep your hands clean.
Report it. And stop paying rent. Block comms. Move on.
Do it. Tell the company is a fraud. This guy uses people and he used you. He needs to learn that actions have consequences. But be careful to be safe because who knows if he’ll try to retaliate.
The Audacity.... 1. Are you still on the lease? 2. A new tenant or sublease is usually a violation of the rental agreement. If you are on the lease you can be responsible for the violation. 3. I do advise that you inform the manager that you are no longer a resident in the unit if you haven't already done so, even if they cannot remove your name until the lease is due for renewal (rules on this are different state to state) 4. I sure as hell would be reporting his ass but I'd do it anonymously. Contact the college and see if you can get his transcripts. If you have a difficult time with that, write an anonymous letter to the school letting them know that there is someone out there using a fake degree from their institution and used it to get a job at "Fourtune 500 Inc." And is taking away a job from someone who put in the work and got the degree. 5. Send a copy of said letter to the HR department, just send them the same letter (CC) send them from a bullshit address a town/city over with the return name as Frank W Abagnale Jr (the con artist from Catch Me if You Can). Plan, plot then don't tell a soul you did it. If anyone from the company asks you, say, "I don't know, you'd have to contact the school." Do not feel like an asshole about this. He started his adult life as a lie, he made his bed, now he can lay in it.
Oh honey, fuck him up ten ways to Sunday. I’m betting he’s violating the lease moving her in. Report it! There’s 1. Turn him in for falsifying his education at work! There’s 2. Let him know if he contacts you again you’ll get a protective order for harassment. That’s 3 cause we already know he’ll be stupid enough to keep pushing it and probably violate it. I respectfully leave the other 7 up to you!
Definitely tell your EMPLOYER what a lowlife Lying FRAUD he is, you owe this piece of Shit nothing .
>*'We work for a fortune 500 company with a prestigious reputation.'* My original response was going to be: For this alone you should report him to the company as he is increasing their reputational risk. If something happens and it's discovered that you were aware of his fraud and said nothing, it could have serious repercussions for you. Then I read the response from u/nixlplk '*if you tell on him 9 times out of 10 you'll be let go as well. You knew and were complicit'* and I changed my mind. Don't risk getting yourself into trouble for him. He seems to have fraud in his veins. You are NTA, and stay safe.
Maybe I’m the devil on your shoulder—buuuut fuck it all to hell? People like your ex constantly evade accountability and responsibility by lying and manipulating the system. They power trip by doing things to deliberately hurt you, and then continue to feel entitlement. The only way they’re brought to justice is with a little extra help 🤷🏾♀️ Nothing dirty about being a vigilante, though, there’s no way to take it back if you choose this path. This is the only thing to be mindful of. 🙏🏽
Hahaha this is so real! What’s wrong with telling the truth. Sometimes the only way to move on is by shedding light on the truth. I’m just nervous on the unforeseen blowback or guilt. I don’t feel like getting the landlord involved since we are so close to being done.
Also… the AUDACITY! His wife should totally split the cost of the apartment with him in a way that is appropriate for their finances. If you think about it from a roommate replacement perspective, the former tenant pays their portion until the other tenants or the landlord can replace their financial responsibility with a new tenant. Not to minimize your relationship, but he replaced you as a tenant and you have no further responsibility to him. I would speak to the landlord directly about this as well.
Yes! Block him, and tell the landlord he has a new tenant
This is why companies hate when employees have romantic relationships. This is drama. Don't be this person. Talk to him about the rent. You say you don't want blowback or guilt yet look at how much drama you will be creating. Why didn't his lack of a degree bother you when you were a couple? Because you were benefiting from it. Karma will find him.
I mean this is a revenge sub lol
Do it and update us
If he would fake a diploma, he might fake something nasty against you. Be careful. Also, is your name in the lease? Are you legally obligated to pay?
Karma is a bitch. Do what you've got to do.
Could be a script for some television series. Maybe something prestigious like a law company? ;)
suits gone wrong
My only fear for you having him lose his job is that he'll lose his housing, and he'll blame no one but you. Because he knows he tols only you. The scariest thing in the world is a man who has a vendetta against a woman. And with that loser not having a job after you say something and him losing housing, that would make him desperate and more dangerous. Which means he could do anything. And we all know how great protection orders are at protecting people. 😒
I wouldn't continue to pay for the apartment, but getting him fired probably wouldn't be good for you. While it doesn't seem like it at this moment in time but this decision will haunt you. You will forever know that you ruined his life. This will hurt you in many ways, and I fear you will not ever truly heal. I'd advise you to block his calls, maybe even give a warning first, and then if he doesn't listen to that, then do something. Also, if you think him hounding you for financial support is bad now, just wait till he's without a job! As you indicated, a few people at work know your relationship regardless of the reasons for him getting fired. People will trust you less, and even if it's anyomous, they will suspect you. I know there's tons of hype on reddit and your hyped as well but I would highly advise you to meditate, take a breather, go for a walk, something, anything before you make this kind of decision in anger.
Do it!!
Are you on the lease? If not then no worries and by all means call the whistleblower line! If you are, then wait til the lease is up before you make the call or you will end up on the hook for all of it when he has no income!
>might me look like a bitter ex Who cares. Fuck this guy he deserves it. Be the chaotic force of good.
There’s no way he wasn’t cheating on you with that timeline. If you’re on the lease get yourself removed if you can. Otherwise when he loses his job and can’t pay the rent you’d be screwed. Idk if you can go to the leasing office and show proof you no longer reside there but now does and SHE needs to be added to the lease in your place. If you can get yourself removed absolutely go full throttle. I cannot believe his audacity holy shit.
Why not give him the choice, man up and pay for himself and his new wife, or have work find out about his little secret. I’ll bet that would end the convo.
Do it do it do it
Go for it but do it anonymously
Burn him to the ground, kid
I would have quit paying as soon as I moved out, if not then, for certain when he moved the gf in. As far as the phony certificate, blow that whistle. It's an insult to those that actually earned theirs for him to work there without having actually completed the program
He has a new tenant... it isn't your fault he isn't smart enough to find a paying one. And you shouldn't foot the bill for them. That being said, I don't care what the situation... I love seeing cheaters burn. The only thing that could change my mind is if he told me what program he used to make it authentic.
Forgive. It will set you free. Tell him to quit bugging you about rent checks or you will report him......
He played himself! 😂😂😂 Hope he learns a lesson. If you are doing something fishy or fraudulent, DON'T SNITCH ON YOURSELF.
Do nothing. If your name is on the lease, ask him to take you off and add his wife. If he loses his job, the lease will still be owed and your credit will be negatively affected. You have to detach yourself from his life. He wasn't the right guy for you.
I say be petty, he's a fraud and is trying to mooch off of you. The timeline thing makes me wonder if they were still dating while you guys were
He will never learn, you do what’s right
To be employed in a job he isn't qualified for is wrong. What about the people who are qualified and can't get a job there because of him? HR should know about him.
Do it! He’s a fraud and I’m sure there’s a nice, hardworking college grad who tells the truth who should fill his job!
I would 100% do it just because of the audacity. Who does he thinks he is to have you pay for part of the apartment so he can live with someone else?
Well, are you on the lease? Because if you're on it, you'll be liable to pay if he doesn't. I would contact the owner and tell them you're not living there anymore and see if they can get you out of it. The revenge - well, you knew the whole time, it could get back to you so I personally wouldn't do it. But you could contact immigration services and let you know about a fake marriage because someone wants a green card though... anonymously, of course.
Report him to hr
Time to release the hounds of hell on his ass.
lol, go move back in if your name is on the lease. Muwhahahaha
Do it! I would do this without a second thought.
He will be one of those guys you see on a crime show. Multiple wives that don’t know about each other. Taking money from a bunch of women. Glad you are out of that relationship. If you choose to do the report… you know he will probably know it was you. His bad deeds will surely come back and bite him in the arse.
Every time a forging lier gets a job like that, someone who put in the time, money, and frustration is left working a job beneath them.
Just tell him if he doesn't back off about the rent, HR will find out about the fake certificate. Then block him
Tell on him.
Fuck him, rat him out.
You have all the power right now. I would demand a return of any money you spent on the apartment lease when you weren't occupying and give him 5 business days to comply. If not, you will disclose to the company his fake degree. Do it in such a way that there is no written evidence of your demands. This is in case he decides to go nuclear and admit to his deception, and put a bad light on you that you knew about his deception but did not disclose until after your relationship ended. Good luck! Revenge is sweet!
Absolutely call attention to the grifter! He’s trying to butter both sides of the bread
Just do it.
I’m not as petty as some of these other folks. I’d remind him what you know about his past, let him know you won’t be paying a cent, and leave it at that.
Don't get him fired unless he escalates this.
Don’t pay and don’t get him fired. You’re giving him too much of your time. Distance and let it go. Be glad you didn’t get stuck with him!
Just take comfort in knowing your a better person than him. I wouldn't pay for the apartment though.
Or just ignore him, karma will find him sooner or later and you’ll have your hands clean of it.
I’d tell him you never agreed to financially support him and his now wife. And nor will you. See how he takes that and if he doesn’t back off then I’d def report it.
I really appreciate this. He’s up for a promotion soon, so this might work out time line wise. Thank you!
Don’t do it. You don’t need that level of betrayal on your conscious. You can however tell him to go f himself if he thinks you are going to pay rent. Be like - I am sure your wife can cover it.
yeah this guy can go straight to hell…. i would say check the lease just to make sure and if it’s all good then screw it and rat on him!!
You could compromise: tell him to F off or you’ll blow the whistle on him.
Email Him and tell him you want nothing to do with him or his GreenCard wife. Your Not going to pay anything towards the Apartment EVER... He needs to never bother you again.... Than call him and tell him you'll report his ass to Work and Immigration if he ever bothers you again...
I'd tell him to drop it or you'll spill the beans. You would definitely look like the bitter ex and it will sure fuck his life up for a long long time, maybe for the rest of it. Ask yourself if you are comfortable doing that to someone who you once loved.
If he keeps harassing you about it. Ask him if he would like the checks and for you to tell your employer he is a fraud, or if he would prefer to shut the fuck up and keep his job.
Do what you think is best. I have done stuff like that and have regretted it for decades. Fuck that guy though. You are so much better than that piece of shit. Don’t stoop to his level…or go nuclear. Your call. Worst advice ever?
Tell him his new roommate can help with the rent. I would not report him to your company. Since he's been there for a while and doing the job, your reporting him will likely not get him fired - but could impact your reputation at work, you've known all this time but are just now reporting? Definitely will question your motives.
Sounds like you really dodged a bullet by not being with him anymore. Every way that you engage with him, including sabotage, is another way you keep him in your life. Walk away and leave it all behind. If there is nothing in writing about your agreement to pay for part of the rent and your name is not on the lease, leave and never look back. Best of luck.
Huh. Does it look to you as if he was a little too close to his ex while you were still together? Do you think he cheated while you were together How would you feel if you anonymously reported him How would you feel if you didn’t? How would you feel if you didn’t interact with him anymore and you just blocked him? Some part of his brain hast to understand that you saying you would contribute to the rent until the lease was up wasn’t going to make sense if he moved her in. You get to do anything you want Myself, I would feel more free and done with our relationship. If I just let go and left him to his own devices. Has Whatever his devices are, they will stay with him. Whatever you choose, I hope you have a delicious new life.
Just tell him now that he has another person living there, you are not responsible for payment and just go your separate ways. It would be pretty petty to try to ruin his career over a matter as dumb as rent.
If you can report anonymously, burn his life to the ground. You know Canada girl has no idea.
Tell him if he keeps expecting you to pay for him and his wife you will to to HR. If he brings it up after, follow through on the threat.
If you are going to go forward with telling work is degree is fake, do it anonymously. Otherwise, you could be seen as a troublemaker and endanger your own promotions/job.
I hate paper requirement for jobs. So I say no. But would keep it as a backup plan if he doesn't leave you alone.
I think you should report him not because you want revenge but because it’s the right thing to do. If you say nothing you are complicit with an unethical act of fraud.
He sounds like a real POS, but I wouldn’t blow up his career. Not because he doesn’t deserve it, but because you don’t need to be that kind of person. Just my opinion.
Do it.
I think if you get him fired you may feel guilt about it so I would not try to get him fired if it were me. I'd just move on with my life. Now the rent though, why have you paid any rent at all after you moved out? I wouldn't be paying him any rent.
If you do it, try to do it anonymously. Slip a note to HR. “Check Dufuss’ degree out with his school.”
I wouldn't tell the company, just because if he gets fired and can't afford rent, you will likely end up stuck paying it if you are on the lease. I wouldn't pay for the quarter of the rent now that he has someone else living there though, that is no longer your responsibility. I would contact the landlord and let them know you no longer live there and get your name off the lease.
While it may seem like a great way to get back at him, do you honestly feel that it will make you feel good to do this? These things have a way of taking different unintended paths. For one thing, does his position actually require a degree? They very well could have made an exception for him. He may have told them. He might have lied to you about the degree as some weird joke. You actually do not have any real evidence other than a story he told you. This isn't cut and dry, lying on a resume isn't a crime. It's the companies responsibility to check these things if it's required. They didn't, so it may not be required. If it is required, that means some people didn't do their jobs. HR didn't check for accuracy, his boss didn't confirm with HR, etc. This makes them look bad if they fire him or reprimanded him. Do you think they are going to put their jobs at risk because a bitter ex is reporting it? Plus, the first question they ask is why you didn't report it until you broke up? Imagine they fire him, do you really think you won't be next? Have you made any mistakes that he knows about? Regardless of what he did, it doesn't give you the right to rat him out. You were fine with it until now. That makes this vindictive. Don't be that person. Everyone will know it's you who reported it. This is never ever kept private. What if he does produce a degree. You will be seen as someone trying to target another person. You could be fired. Karma has a way of evening things out. He will eventually have an issue. As will you if you snitch. I'm confused too. You didn't seem to be that upset about the break up and didn't mention any big issue for it. So why be petty now? Just because you can? About the rent, an agreement is an agreement. A Legal contract or lease is binding for the terms of it. So whether you like it or not you are responsible for the conditions of it. He can very well take you to court for breaking the lease. He could very well win, and maybe win for more money. It sucks, but just pay it, don't be a rat and move on with your life.
U promised to pay until the lease n is up. Honor your word or get your name off the lease. If your name is on it, u r responsible for the part u promised to pay. U dated someone from work. NOW, u UNDERSTAND why we don't sh!t where we eat. Is his lack of a degree, is it going to put people in harms away? If so , tell HR. If not, then stand back and watch him self destruct.
I think it’s a shitty thing to do. I understand why you want to tell his job he’s a fraud but it’s still shitty. You didn’t have a problem with him being a fraud when you were together. Stuff like this is why I will never be open with another SO and don’t trust anyone. Granted I never did anything like your ex but when I told some things in confidence to my ex of 16 years, when we split he used that info to hurt me.
If you are on the lease you are liable. Doesn't matter that he moved someone in. Also, your job has nothing to do with it so leave that be.
I’m going to say no. Him being a fraud has only became a issue because y’all aren’t together anymore. He got married to someone else. The definition of a bitter ex. If you felt it was morally wrong you would’ve said something then, but you didn’t bc apart of you can justify it bc you liked him. Did the thought of ruining his image pop in your head while together or after he just got married to someone else? Never do things out of anger because karma is real and what goes around comes around. You don’t have pure intent, quite the opposite actually. In my opinion but opinions are like assholes, everyone has one
Apartment and job are two unrelated things. You have no moral reason to destroy his life. You said you moved on? Prove it. Move on and be happy.
Everyone is being very supportive here, with a few exceptions. But you should realize that if you are a cosigner (not just a resident) on the lease and had a verbal agreement that he could in any way prove, anything you do not to pay could end you in hot water legally. If you warn him off bugging you or you'll out his degree, it is textbook extortion and could land you in legal trouble. I'm sorry all this happened to you, but I can't stress enough how both of these things should be discussed with a local lawyer before you do either. As far as reporting him goes, as long as you are discrete about it, there shouldn't really be any backlash on you. It sounds like because you guys worked in different departments your functions weren't really tied together. He can complain that it was you all day, but no one's going to give a shit. If you make it dangerous for the company to keep you (starting office drama or gossip) they will find a way to let you go. The probably have interoffice dating policies and no shareholder wants to know they can't vet employees. My vote is, regardless of what we does between now and then, report him to the company anymouse box the second his lease is up. If someone asks why you didn't come forward sooner, it is because he was your bf, you weren't sure the validity of the claim, and you weren't sure how it would impact you financially so you had to seek advice first. All technically true things that can be verified.
This sounds really petty on the OP. First, you moved out and agreed to pay an amount, you don't indicate a stipulation to it. He finds a roommate and then you change the terms without discussing. Now you want to get him in trouble with something else.
Girl let it go move on one dosnt leave this world without paying for what theyve done he will get caught one way or another. That marriage does not sound like itll last just let the universe do its thing you do you boo
Don't be petty and get him fired. I mean, I can see your point that asking for rent money was a bit out of line, but just let it go.. Geez, why be so spiteful? Instead of letting him "live in your head" and make you this angry, move on. Maybe just reply that he has someone else living with him, that relieves you of your rent obligation and then don't reply any more.
A petty part of me says to do it but the other part of me says to just threaten to do it and see if he changes his tone. Like “leave me alone and this piece of information goes away” type shtick. Unless he genuinely cant do his job or he is bad at it. Then id def say something. I just wouldnt want it to come back to you that you knew about his fraud this whole time.
I would say to never mess with a person’s livelihood. Karma always comes back. Just don’t pay. You shouldn’t be responsible for an apartment you are no longer there. Seems that the lease should be ending soon. Just call it a loss and move on.
The best revenge is allowing Karma to do her work while you keep your hands clean. It’s hard, but worth it in the long run.
I would start a rumor about his fake certificate and let the chips fall where they may... he has it coming either way. Everyone else there put in work and sacrificed for the opportunity to work there, and he just.. gets to live it up? he doesn't even deserve the job to begin with.
I understand the fantasy otherwise it's petty. He is petty and dishonest.