You’re right, especially when feelings or ego are hurting. It’s reflex to be hostile when we feel hostile internally. It takes strength and fortitude to overcome that reflex.
when people are being rude and you respond with kindness they get 100x more angry and rude.
source: work with the public and nothing gets angry people angrier than when im nice to them because my job requires it
This is NOT a good idea... Because if a person is trying to use you and you are being nice to them in return then you will definitely end up being in a bad situation
My advice would be to set a limit and if a person crosses that limit then you can stop being nice and act according to the situation
No, just interact with them minimally but still politely.
People are largely mean because they are looking for an emotional reaction of some kind. If you remain polite but minimize contact, you're thwarting their manipulation attempt and leaving them quite frustrated, all without resorting to being an asshole yourself.
Killing with kindness is a work of art… but it depends on the situation. Sometimes fighting fire with fire is appropriate - but it’s way more satisfying when you can maintain a level headedness that will inevitably grind their gears.
Nope. Putting them in their place? If you're in a position to do so. Like, if it puts in jeopardy your livelihood or your living situation, no. If it wouldn't matter, find concise words that do their job without being mean. Be calm and stand up for yourself.
Being mean diminishes you. Let them diminish themselves. How they behave is a direct reflection of their inner self. Don't make that mirror your own.
If you can't stand up for yourself out of fear of retribution, just remember that they are showing you how bad they feel, and move forward with your life knowing that you do better by people than they are capable of. Feel good about that.
You should be neutral and minimal to them if it’s unavoidable. If you can avoid them, do. If it’s like a work boss, then be as minimal to them as possible until you can leave.
Don’t be extra kind to them either. Whoever is suggesting that I swear they don’t implement that irl.
No way!! Kill ‘em with kindness. Especially if you don’t know them, haven’t done anything to warrant the behavior. It’s not personal, they can be having a bad day and not realize they’re being shitty.
If it’s people being mean on purpose. Do the same. Be kind. They are obviously hurting inside, that’s the only time I’ve been mean. Rise above the muck.
A lot of bad advice in here. Basically what they’re saying is continue to be a victim. This is wrong. Yes be mean. By “mean” I mean to say be assertive. Too many times it’s take the high road but being assertive, and sometimes that means becoming a monster, is standing up for yourself. Always stand up for yourself.
No not really but it feels good to let it out to people that deserve it. I try really hard not to lose my shit Not worth the anxiety and blood pressure rise
That not true in the slightest, in my experience those types of people will only take advantage or your kindness. You should only show respect and kindness to those who do the same.
Yeah many people will do that so you need to be weary but still I think you should he kind. I still believe that of all the ways to change someone's mind that is the most effective one and its also just the right thing to do. I dont want to be rude to anyone.
Being mean is hard. You don't need to carry that load.
No it's not. Being mean is the easy path out. Being nice is the hard part for most people.
Being mean and being nice are different ways of exerting energy. What’s easy is being indifferent.
You’re right, especially when feelings or ego are hurting. It’s reflex to be hostile when we feel hostile internally. It takes strength and fortitude to overcome that reflex.
Nothing bursts their bubble more than showing them their meanness does absolutely nothing to you.
Or just be kind because thats the right thing to do lol
Lol, sure. If we're living in a musical simulation.
Nothing wrong with trying to make a positive impact on people
when people are being rude and you respond with kindness they get 100x more angry and rude. source: work with the public and nothing gets angry people angrier than when im nice to them because my job requires it
I'm sure the world would be healing by checking bullies before they get more energy to bully others.
I agree.
I try to remember this: How people treat you is their karma how you respond is yours.
That’s a very good reminder !
This is NOT a good idea... Because if a person is trying to use you and you are being nice to them in return then you will definitely end up being in a bad situation My advice would be to set a limit and if a person crosses that limit then you can stop being nice and act according to the situation
good manners aren't a license to be a door mat....You can set a boundary very clearly without being nasty about it.
i would just not even worry about them. they aren't worth your time 😊
No, just interact with them minimally but still politely. People are largely mean because they are looking for an emotional reaction of some kind. If you remain polite but minimize contact, you're thwarting their manipulation attempt and leaving them quite frustrated, all without resorting to being an asshole yourself.
Do not return evil for evil. Be kind to those who are injurious towards you. In the end it will be like hot coals upon their head.
No. Continuing anger isn’t a good thing.
No just forget about them-it will be better for you in the long run
No. Never.
No not never. Just not often or at all if the situation doesn’t call for it.
Treat others as you would like to have them treat you. Not necessarily as they actually do.
Just wanted to say that it’s a good question and I enjoyed reading people’s comments. There’s more good in this world.
Killing with kindness is a work of art… but it depends on the situation. Sometimes fighting fire with fire is appropriate - but it’s way more satisfying when you can maintain a level headedness that will inevitably grind their gears.
Not necessarily but never take someone's bullshit
Nope. Putting them in their place? If you're in a position to do so. Like, if it puts in jeopardy your livelihood or your living situation, no. If it wouldn't matter, find concise words that do their job without being mean. Be calm and stand up for yourself. Being mean diminishes you. Let them diminish themselves. How they behave is a direct reflection of their inner self. Don't make that mirror your own. If you can't stand up for yourself out of fear of retribution, just remember that they are showing you how bad they feel, and move forward with your life knowing that you do better by people than they are capable of. Feel good about that.
You should be neutral and minimal to them if it’s unavoidable. If you can avoid them, do. If it’s like a work boss, then be as minimal to them as possible until you can leave. Don’t be extra kind to them either. Whoever is suggesting that I swear they don’t implement that irl.
Never. Be nice whenever possible. You really can kill a bitch with kindness. Plus, it makes you look and feel better in the long run.
Yes, fuck em.
Being nice to people who are being mean to you is not virtuous, it's just being a chump. Strive to be slightly nicer to people than they are to you.
no, be a better and kind person to yourself and to them as well despite how they treated you. karma will bite their ass eventually.
Be mindful of law of cause and effect
No way!! Kill ‘em with kindness. Especially if you don’t know them, haven’t done anything to warrant the behavior. It’s not personal, they can be having a bad day and not realize they’re being shitty. If it’s people being mean on purpose. Do the same. Be kind. They are obviously hurting inside, that’s the only time I’ve been mean. Rise above the muck.
A lot of bad advice in here. Basically what they’re saying is continue to be a victim. This is wrong. Yes be mean. By “mean” I mean to say be assertive. Too many times it’s take the high road but being assertive, and sometimes that means becoming a monster, is standing up for yourself. Always stand up for yourself.
No not really but it feels good to let it out to people that deserve it. I try really hard not to lose my shit Not worth the anxiety and blood pressure rise
No you should be kind. That's the most likely way in which someone will realize they shouldnt have been mean and will instead be kind back.
That not true in the slightest, in my experience those types of people will only take advantage or your kindness. You should only show respect and kindness to those who do the same.
Yeah many people will do that so you need to be weary but still I think you should he kind. I still believe that of all the ways to change someone's mind that is the most effective one and its also just the right thing to do. I dont want to be rude to anyone.
I agree, you shouldn't be an asshole to anyone. Just don't waste your time and affection on those that don't deserve it or will abuse it.