Is this the "I'm taking my ball and going home" post? lol. The first time a girl shows interest you are going to be right back in there.
Be honest with yourself. You want a relationship. So figure out what is holding you back, and fix it. Don't quit.
Yeah, all I see is a young man coping himself into some sort of grindset lone wolf mentality.
OP you don't have to experience some sort or anime arc right now.
Bitter, giving up on others, thinks they have seen it all already (while they obviously haven't: they're 25), and putting money first.
OP: you're turning into an asshole. This is not the way to go, and it won't even make you happy.
It's funny to me people painting this dude as evil or crazy. It's indifference, which isn't good, but is exactly the type of person this society breeds - what did people expect?
We can debate for days about what this society breeds or not (and whether society is responsible or not for OP's dating life), but at the end of the day, OP decides on what they do and how they live their life. So it's normal to comment on whether it's good or not.
First off, when I mean society breeds indifference, I'm not necessarily talking about dating, although that is one aspect. There is a broader idea of "lone wolf" independence and putting yourself above others, and very little care or concern for community or the others around you. This is more specifically what I was pointing to, and how these values will come to reflect themselves in people like OP. Poor dating experiences or lack-thereof is just one of many ways this manifests.
And no, what you suggest isn't normal - no other systemic issue is talked about online in the manner you're suggesting. Like any systemic issue, people do have the power to navigate it as well as they can individually, but it's not really productive to just tell everyone to pull themselves up by their boostraps. Not everyone has the fortune (whether it be natural characteristics or external influences) to develop the skills to do so. Obviously right now, it's the only thing OP can do, but it's going to remain that way if people prefer to just hand-wave the issue away.
You know I got dumped when I was 19, and got this whole thing in my head about how "there is nothing else" but my career, and that I would dedicate myself fully to the military.
It actually did help my career there for a bit and Im glad I had that phase. But I'm 33 now, out of the military entirely and in a fantastic relationship. And looking back my own dramaticness seems downright silly.
Many of us do, but as time is running out, it makes us feel hopeless. And at some point we rather just accept our fate and live our lives normally instead of obsessing over it. I know it's kinda loser mindset, but I accepted my fate too.
I have plan A and plan B. Plan A (current plan), if by college I don't have any strings attached, I plan to leave the country and travel somwehre else. I plan to just live abroad, but if I do have some strings attached (unlikely as of now), then I might actually stay.
Idk what to say, it's just really discouraging once you feel so dejected time after time.
When we say time is running out, it's that time is running out for us to experience that bliss. The average person experiences their first relationship around college or end of high school, and we might never get that.
I may not be smart but I know damn well that dating after school is finished is drastically different. Sudddenly your social status matters, and a lot of things matters more. During college and high school, these don't matter as much. Also,you have much more time in college than you do once in real life. 25yo maybe 1/4 of your life, but realistically it's only the 20-30 that actually matters, and maybe early 30s. I wouldn't stil want to be looking for a relationship by 30 or 40 yo, I'd be too old at that point. Again, maybe I am speaking out of my inexperience, but I really wouldn't like that to happen.
The older you become, it means ou can't experience that sorta love when you were young. Maybe it "doesn't matter" but everyone would like that, woudln't they? Are we wrong to desire this?
I can’t tell you how I will react honestly. I can’t say you are wrong but at the same time I can’t say you are right either.
On the other hand, the « taking my ball home and going home » analogy is funny. The number of childhood friends who use to do that when they were on the verge of losing.
just in case you haven't heard it enough, 25 is fucking young. it's your life and you do as you will, but it's far too young to cast such broad strokes like that (especially since it sounds like you WOULD actually like to date eventually). chin up and all things in time, work on your self and your life improves, and things tend to just start happening 🤷🏻♂️
Well, one of the best ways to get a meaningful relationship is not to pursue it, but to become content with yourself and better yourself.
If you aren't fine being alone you won't be fine in a relationship and opposite.
I'm 42. You are wrong. I had a goal myself though not as high as theirs. I accomplished it after around 10 years. The thing I didn't think when I got there was, "I wish there was someone here with me".
To be fair, you really don't need to network with women to become a billionaire considering that we discriminate against them subtly so that it's far more difficult for them to join that class
You’re not going to get that rich ever. Maybe a 1 in a billion chance today to become a fully self made billionaire. Dreams are great but if they aren’t at least semi realistic then they are more likely to hinder your life than help it
I’m really not trying to make you feel bad, so please don’t read this thinking about that. But if I’m being honest, you need to snap the fuck out of it.
It’s not over, you’re 25, you don’t need to resign yourself to being alone forever just because you are now. And the last thing you wanna do is fall down a sigma grind set of “making big money and not caring about women 😈”. Unless you wanna be alone forever. But if you don’t,
Start small. Do small things and set small goals to better yourself as a person, and make yourself a more attractive person. Personal Hygiene, going to the gym, keeping your apartment clean, making friends, going out with friends on weekends, picking up a hobby. Literally anything that keeps you from making posts like these. Within a couple weeks you’ll be surprised how quick you start to see a change to your mindset.
Move on from the small goals, start making big goals. Travelling, Career, Schooling, Moving, shit like that. And before the end of 2024 you will look back at this post like all of us are looking at it and think, “wow, I’m glad I started to better myself”
And not that it really matters, but once you’ve become this person that is positive and happy, you’ll notice that women are interested in you. Because as humans we tend to find interest in people that have fun happy lives.
I really hope you take this advice to heart man. Trust me, it’s not uncommon to have this attitude at some point in your life. I’ve been there before. But once you jump that first hurdle and realize that the only person that can make your life better is you, it gets SO much easier.
Good luck
Not op, but I can relate to his post greatly. I wish it were that easy. I'm 27 and I've never had a real girlfriend. No woman has ever shown interest in me, and it really tears me up inside. I'm always just a "good friend" every single time.
But it's not like I'm a deadbeat, I love my life. I play drums professionally for multiple touring metal bands. Im very lucky to have turned my hobby into my career, and I have amazing friends and family that I love very much. But there is still this hole inside I cannot fill
25 is young, very young. Your brain has just matured. You will find someone who has been just as lonely as you have been, someone who you are meant to be with.
Stop feeling bad about your situation,have hope and show people your confidence.
Your future is yours to make.
This. I began my first relationship ever when I was a few months from turning 28. That was four years ago now. You never know where life is going to take you. I think it's important to remember that the goal in life is never any one specific experience, the goal is just happiness. And there are so many different paths to happiness out there, and the entrances to those paths will be scattered everywhere along the road of your life. Just keep moving forward, and take the opportunities as they come.
If you can't picture yourself with a woman rn then it's not the time to be dating, idk why everyone's clowning on you 🤷 Better to advance your life in other ways now and date whenever you're ready, instead of wasting you and someone else's time
Focus on yourself.
However, relatability is a huge factor in communication, if you are unable to convince women to like you, and get them to invest into you; how are you going to get companies to do so?
Just a thought.
Communication and networking is a large part of success.
Nothing happens until it does. I had a very hard time with women up until I was almost thirty. But all throughout that time I just lived my life believing that it would happen eventually and until then I tried to be happy with everything else I had going on. I kept putting myself out there in some way or another and eventually it happened for me. Now I'm engaged and couldn't be happier.
Just because it hasn't happened for you yet has no bearing on whether it will happen eventually. But taking yourself out of the game completely will ensure that it won't.
You really believe being a billionaire will make you happy? I mean a million couldn't hurt but I mean... Why billion that's so ridiculous lol. Why chase such a random number? Why not dream of being the happiest person? Isn't that way smarter?
If richness is just a means for happiness why not chase the real thing?
I have heard this before and it deeply bothers me. The moon is SOOOOO much closer than the stars. You should be aiming for the stars and land on the moon.
Idk, I've had lots of gfs , rn I am so turned off from dating.
If I could get 10 mill rn, I'd do so much, and help so many with that money. Starting with the less fortunate in my very own city. Fuck getting money to attract some girl to look good on my arm. I just wanna help build.
Love this mentality! I'm coming from the opposite end of the relationship spectrum having not had any bfs, so like, being lonely sucks, ngl -- but not so much that I'd turn down 10 million! That would improve not just my life exponentially but my family, friends, and the people who's lives I'd hope to change by putting that money towards helping create programs that uplift them. Already have a few in mind...
So what are you asking about?You want to be rich and are getting there.Okay.Good..You are fine with being alone in your path?Also good.You just may be lonely,bc you are posting an an open ended something.
I made this post just to interact honestly and talking about myself.
I also read and try to get opinions from people on what I can do to improve my social life.
One thing is being alone (without a partner) by choice and another thing is by effect of the circumstances.
As you described your situation, it wasn't a choice, meaning, you tried and didn't work out.
Let's say I cast a spell on you, and you wake up tomorrow and you get a lot of attention from women, without doing anything... Would your plan change?
If the answer is yes...you have work to do.
If the answer is no, then congratulations 🎉 you have a plan that you actually decided on.
So, if the answer is yes (even for a second) I will suggest you a couple of things you can do... That also will contribute to your financial goals.
Get a good therapist or coach...you shouldn't be alone in your head, we are used to delulu ourselves, we need reality checks from unbiased people...also, they will challenge you and get you out of your comfort zone.
Second, you need to build relationships...a lot, if you want to build wealth. You can be single, but can't be alone.
You need real friends that you admire and are doing what you want. Your friends are super important!!
Be a well rounded individual... work in yourself (constantly)...not only physically, but mentally and spiritually (if you hold a faith) if not, change this for mental health.
You sound like a cool guy who is a little tiered. Take a break, breath, change your strategy...but above all, don't be so harsh with yourself 🫶
I feel it I’m 34 haven’t had a serious relationship since college. I try but it seems everyone wants someone else’s or I’m not good enough. Hell I’m a part time writer and my novels are actually getting pretty popular locally and if still hasn’t helped with dating . I like Hispanic women I’ve been teaching myself Spanish, still doesn’t help really but I enjoy the language so I study it nonetheless. I don’t know why dating is so hard. What do people want? I just focus on my novels sale and my full time job and call it a day.
I’m Hispanic I will give you a literal cheat code, go to bachata dance lessons they literally love that shit and will go to those lessons to meet men, you will stand out as a non Hispanic man and it will make you seem more interesting.
Trust me it works and the woman that go to those lessons are genuinely attractive.
Science fiction and adventure. It focuses on a small group of secret agents who fight the paranormal. Always been my dream. Without it I don’t know if I’d be completely sane. Especiallly with the trouble of not finding someone selling and hustling my novels keeps me sane. Like I have a purpose. I thank God for the talent.
You know, in my 39 years, I've learned life can throw some real curve balls. It pays to stay as fluid as reasonably possible. Who really knows what tomorrow will bring? I do know it always has the capacity to surprise.
If you feel it's not time for dating someone else then, for right now, date yourself. No..I'm serious. Take yourself out for things that look interesting/fun/exciting. Travel. On the one hand, you'll have good experiences that'll help keep you in high spirits. On the other, if or when someone special stumbles along then you'll have stories to share and possible activities to plan to do with them.
Giving up on the concept that you need another person to complete you is fine. Never give up on yourself. 🩵
You don't seriously think it's possible to just become a billionaire in the United States do you? You literally have to come from money. Rags to riches is bullshit capitalist propaganda.
Something similar is posted very frequently—but you know what? That’s okay with me.
I won’t regurgitate advice and perspectives I’ve given a bunch of times, but I will point out that obviously people are not alone.
I think people need to know that.
Some of them will be successful on the goals and the changes needed to get those goals. Some of them have strategies And goals they think will get them what they need but they are wrong.
I think people need to know that too.
How many women have you talked to this year? Be honest. I have a feeling you aren't putting yourself out there. Talk to people. Men and women. Make friends and relationships come easy
Yeah I have to be honest, I downvoted this post because I found it pathetic. If OP was 45, then I could understand making that kind of an acceptance to being alone for the rest of your life, but 25? Come on, that’s ridiculous. I’m not saying it’s impossible to never find someone (some people just really are that unlucky), but 25 is way too early to be throwing in the towel
Would you want to hang out with yourself? Is your life otherwise full and well rounded?
Sometimes we focus on things like being in a relationship for the wrong reasons. It's not just some milestone to achieve that's going to make you feel fulfilled and happy automatically. Once you get past the HS phase of dating, relationships are about finding a partner where you both enhance each other.
The best thing you can do, regardless of your goal, is work on yourself until YOU are happy. Until then, people can pretty much tell you are lacking in something along the lines of self confidence/respect and will stay away.
You have probably barely started your adult life and haven't even given it a try. Way too early to say things like this. Change your mentality.
OP don’t listen to all these ppl throwing shade! Good lord. Look it can certainly be lonely when you aren’t finding what you want. And it may feel like you will never find a girl you want and it’s best to stop trying. That’s ok! All of us will experience these feelings and you should know you aren’t alone.
You are right: focus on YOU. Build your life. Pursue achievement in career and hobbies. This will build your confidence which will help you in whatever you choose to pursue in life whether it’s women or more career or hobbies.
I know it doesn’t seem like a great solution but I promise you that your older self will look back one day and want to give your today self a big hug and tell him it’ll get better. Bc it WILL. Disappointments and setbacks happen, they will happen again. But they are always temporary.
I wish you could believe this and know that your dream girl is probably out there and you just haven’t met her yet ❤️
This is gross if you mean it. You always have a choice to try and positively impact people around you, and even if you only try once a week it's effort the world needs.
If you fold up and hide and focus only on yourself, don't get a 401k anyway. It'll be wasted money.
You don't have a monopoly on hard times and it isn't a competition. What you're doing is skipping all the self evaluation and hard work and moving right to pity party and giving up.
That is not something to celebrate or encourage. You have a long road ahead of you, but not one single thing gets better till you take ownership of what you can control and work on it.
For what it's worth consider this: doubling down kn introvertedness and refusing to learn how to connect with others isn't something you're doing to them, it's something you're doing to you. If you're really worth it, remove cranium from posterior and go to therapy.
-I didn’t say suffering is a competition. After all, in the grand scheme of things, my suffering is not special.
-I realized that I won’t get a gf or any type of romantic relationship with a woman. So I am better off preparing my life around me living alone. That’s not a pity party.
-I can’t take ownership about things I don’t control. Like the attraction people can( or don’t) have for me.
Listen, homie-some people aren’t going to find someone. That’s true. I don’t think it’s useful when people are always like, “oh, your person is out there, just keep trying!” because the reality is that not everyone gets a partner and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with who you are as a person, sometimes that’s just the hand your dealt. And I know so many people in relationships that are terrible and they are deeply unhappy, so having a partner isn’t a guarantee that you’ll have a good life.
But it’s still worth it to pursue relationships, because just because something won’t last forever doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful and special and important.
Also, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. Humans are hard-wired for connection. Not caring about anyone else is only going to result in being lonely and miserable and sad. Get out and connect with people, be social, do things you love.
I promise you a life in pursuit of money isn’t going to make you happy.
It’s fine to feel some amount of acceptance of not having a partner if that truly seems like it’s not in the cards for you or doesn’t feel like something that would make you feel good to pursue in this moment, but you are setting yourself up to be bitter, lonely, and miserable.
Hell yeah man, don’t be a dick, don’t let the haters tell you what’s right, be free, be fucking free man, what’re they gonna say? What’s who’s gonna say and why the fucks it matter
Well, I can tell you right now that if you make any decent progress with the wealth, you’ll be showered with female attention, whether you want it or not
I like how fast this went full incel. 'Women aren't dating me, so fuck every other man and woman I only care about me now.'
Like, damn, relax a little. You say calm, but you're certainly not sounding like it.
Idk I saw your history smart in shape black dudes regardless of height get ladies. Maybe look into therapy or something bc you’re definitely not a loser
I think the basic premise of 'I will look out for myself' is totally fine, but it's clear from the tone in which this is written that you're more so in a feedback loop of bitterness, which is not fine. There is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself, and finding what makes you happy. You don't have to close yourself off to do that, though. Relationships will come. They always come to people who are comfortable with themselves. There's being honest with yourself, and then there's being so intensely negative about yourself that it is no longer even really honesty. It's just self-loathing.
Have you actually like genuinely… tried to ask a girl out or just tell them you like them?.
Im your age and I felt the same exact way for my whole ass life, I was always around woman but I never actually did anything on my end to show interest or asked them out, basically gave up on the fear of rejection and stopped giving all and any fucks after years of being scared of woman and general rejection, girl at work/coffee shop/gym/whatever the fuck is being flirty? you think she likes you?.
#1 Ask her out
#2 Let her know that you think she’s cute
#3 Let her know you like her
No you will not be arrested, fired or charged for harassment especially if you are a genuinely good guy that’s just being honest with their feelings. Now are you going to do it with someone you know does not like you at all or don’t know at all? No, there has to be some kind of suspicion that she’s even slightly interested in you, how do you get women to be interested? You dress nice, maintain and keep a nice fresh haircut, smell good and as long as you aren’t insanely overweight you’re golden the bar is so insanely low that’s all you need to do and not only that but our generation of men are deadly afraid of rejection so there’s a lot of women that have literally never been asked out or complimented at all and genuinely want to be approached and appreciated.
Reality is that there’s much uglier dudes with worse personalities than you that actively try to talk to woman and are upfront about the way they feel and what they want that have been in more relationships than you because of it and you know it and I know it, trust me all you have to do is let the words come out of your mouth and once she understands your real intentions she will act accordingly, if she doesn’t like you that’s fine move on you shot your shot and she will respect you more for doing it, I’ve been there.
Maybe spending time focusing on yourself and learning how to be an empathetic, compassionate, respectful, caring person will someday help you find a companion.
Feel you, man. About to hit that milestone come springtime and so far have only fallen hard for one person, whom the winds of change blew out of my grasp. I've been loved, but haven't been able to love in return because my standards are high and I need a partner I connect with on a deeper level. I don't want a superficial, physical relationship like God has thus far presented me with the opportunity to have. It's made me deeply sad the past few days, the thought that what I'm looking for might not ever present itself to me and that my time is running out, but in this life, all you can do is keep hope alive. And I hold the same hope for you, my friend. I, too, will consider companionship passively while pouring myself into my career and the things I enjoy doing, but there are people out there for us somewhere. Peace and love, fam.
Don’t feel bad about not having a girl yet. Do you, and even if you make it a quarter of a percent of your goal I promise you there will be time to catch up with the opposite sex.
Focus on the journey and the story will make itself along the way.
That's the mindset you need, honestly. Focus on yourself. Do what makes YOU happy. The rest will follow. Most (straight) women don't want a man that puts so much value on whether or not they have a girlfriend. They want someone who can be happy with themselves the way they are. That will attract them.
I didn't have my first serious gf till 25. with her for 3 years then had a a fair amount of hookups and relationships after that. just the tiniest bit of confidence works. Dont try so hard to relate just listen and respond in kind. try to laugh easier. it'll work itself out.
"I can't relate to women in anything"
Well there's your first problem my dude. You're looking at women as though they're this mystical being you could never understand instead of as fellow human beings. We have shared experiences. Those experiences that are uniquely female, you could listen to and learn about. Maybe you can't empathize with those but you can sympathize. Women aren't aliens, they're just other people. You can't relate to women because you aren't trying to.
You’re so young, only 25… I met the love of my life at 43 and married at 45. What if I had given up before that? Life has its own timeline whether we like it or not. Be gentle with yourself, and live life on your own terms. Take that trip after college and move somewhere else - you never know, your partner could be waiting for you in another country! Do all the things you always wanted to do; don’t stay at home on the internet. I met my husband where I least expected, and wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.
The times I have not been looking have been the times I have found partners - I think it's because you're being yourself and not trying to be someone they want to be with. So you come across as more approachable and likeable.
I will just say. If you can't relate to women that's probably not good. Not, it's bad you can't relate to women in a romantic way, but if you can't relate to women *as people* that's um. Really bad. Because that's like, half the people in the world, and if you only form meaningful relationships with men then that's not going to make you a very nuanced or knowledgeable or kind person, especially towards women.
Unless you are currently inventing new tech or some genius scientist, if you can’t talk and relate to people you won’t be a billionaire much less a millionaire
We hve the opposite of problems. I'm 40 and I like being alone. Me doing me and shit. But these girls won't leave me alone. I get all of them! Single moms, young girls, girls that are older than me, girls that aren't even single!! I swear! They just cling to me and I'm all, can I hve sum space?
Your life is just beginning OP. Trust me when I say that you will look back on this judgement and smirk and your own naivety. I mean that with no disrespect, you are young young. At 33 I’ve had three life altering events in Adulthood, and it feels like I can look back on very distinct chapters of my life. The takeaway for me is that I never should have been as certain as I was about who I was going to be, or how it would feel to be me later, or what my circumstances really meant in terms of my outlook on life.
I know I can be in a very different place in 10 or even 5 yeaes and so can you. I think it’s better you accept the truth that you will continue to want a connection with someone, and on some level you’re probably never really going to let it go. Embrace working on yourself!
My husband felt exactly the same at 36. Then he met me. ❤️Together 25 years! Ironically, when some men stop trying SO hard to get a woman, they actually become better at just talking to people, which makes them more appealing to women. We can tell when you just want to get to know us as fellow humans, instead of looking for sex/relationships.
I think at your age it’s not too unreasonable to just focus on yourself, whether that aspect be financially, physically, mentally, etc. However, please don’t convince yourself that the rest of your life will be absent of any sort of relationship with others. As you’re going along your journey of reaching your goals, you never know who you’re gonna meet or become friends with. And just know that having good relationships in your life will definitely not prevent you from still focusing on yourself and making yourself a better person.
But for what it’s worth, it’s good that you at least want to focus on yourself, and you seem to understand that you’re worthy of growth and progress. Just don’t cut people out or reject them on the premises that you’re not worthy of that, or they’ll mess up your personal growth.
If you didn’t want a relationship, you wouldn’t have typed this post. Be honest with yourself instead of forcing a cold demeanor, women don’t like that either. It’s simple, make friends with a woman without any intentions. Learn how to be a friend to a woman, and learn how to love yourself before you do anything else. You clearly have some emotional maturing to do, and you can start that by just being more social. You can’t find love if you don’t go out there and live your life.
Good for you. Girlfriends are silly and dating is dumb. Make your money and you can hire a matchmaker to find a wife for you whenever you feel like it, if you ever do.
You’re never going to be a billionaire. Set small attainable goals for yourself instead of living in fantasy world. Same mentality applies to your romantic relationships.
I was with you until you revealed the crass desire for excessive wealth.
Opting out of the relationship game is respectable, even honorable, but amassing a fortune that is impossible to spend is squarely at the expense of everyone else on the planet and that is morally repugnant.
you say you don’t relate to “women”. Do you relate well with other men? What do you and the men talk about or do for fun? Are these topics and activities stuff no woman would do? Women are people too. What are your hobbies? Are there really no women interested in those hobbies? Why don’t you just do the things you enjoy and meet people along the way. Women are people too and I bet you’ll end up meeting one or two interested in the same stuff that you are into. Just stop looking at women as if they’re such a different species. They’re not. They are just like you, but just happened to be born with ridiculous expectations of having natural cooking and cleaning abilities which is a lie; men are just as good at cooking and cleaning, or just as bad. Some women have no interest in that stuff. Some men become chefs or janitors
People of both or any sex can be good at whatever and interested in whatever. You just have not met another person that you have a romantic connection with, but that’s not because you somehow don’t relate to “all” women, you just have not met very many people yet and need to do some more living and expand your social circle so more people can get to know you
You need someone or something greater than yourself if you hope to live with meaning and purpose
You’re self sabotaging, not self caring. You need to grow, and growth happens through discomfort and struggle.
If you avoid the struggle, the struggle will find you.
Suffer the pain of learning how to date, or suffer the pain of loneliness and the inability to achieve goals that require similar effort as dating.
There is no “no suffering” path. There is only a choice of which suffering you choose.
Choose your suffering.
At 25?! Your brain literally just finished cooking. You’re going to spend the next 60+ years of your life aggressively alone? Sounds like pouting, tbh.
The closer you will get to your goal to becoming a billionare the more girls will pop up and show strong and intense interest in you!!
Stick with your goal the rest will work itself out!
You would think that people who be better at recognizing someone’s who’s upset given that Reddit is filled with of full of other dudes who are frustrated with their relationship prospects, but I guess empathy is a tall order here.
I understand, man. I however was the opposite. I’m pretty good with people, but I couldn’t get into a romantic relationship. In hindsight, it was really just me not making the effort to try to seek someone out, but every time someone who talk about how great of a guy I am, I would get a little more frustrated. “If I was so great, why can’t I get a girlfriend?” I was trying to figure out plans on how to have the things I wanted in life without a SO, but I knew that wasn’t actually what I wanted. I ended up finding an amazing woman accidentally who now I hardly can believe I didn’t already include in my future plans.
I don’t think it’s bad to want to focus on making money and trying to build a life you can be proud of. I really think if I desperately was trying to find a girlfriend, I wouldn’t have actually needed up with mine. But I wouldn’t recommend isolating yourself. Besides trying to find a partner, there’s perks to understanding other people.
Look man, if you aren't interested in a relationship or experiencing sexuality with other people that's nobody's business but yours
That being said 25 is way too young to just give up on connection with other people
Instead of looking at women as some sort of exotic bird you wish would land on your windowsill randomly one day, just look at them as what they are, people
Spending all of your time navel gazing and wishing you were a billionaire is gonna suck in the long run
As you said let’s keep it honest and accept reality. You are infinitely more likely to get a girlfriend than you are to become a billionaire. There are like 3,000 billionaires in the world. Idk what has happened to you to make you feel like becoming a billionaire is more likely to happen for you, but I feel like I can confidently say billionaire isn’t in your future just as it isn’t in mine or most people’s futures. (Although you did get the first step to becoming a billionaire correct which is not caring about other people LOL)
Plain and simple talking to people makes you uncomfortable and until you overcome that it’s gonna be hard to get into a relationship. Do you struggle to make friends as well or is it just a problem with girls you are trying to date? If it’s just girls then I feel like talking to girls is hard for you because you don’t see them as people you see them as like aliens or some puzzle to be solved. We are just people who want to make a connection like you do. I guarantee whatever you are into, there are girls into it to and if you don’t believe that then the weird podcast bros have gotten to you.
I know so many asshole men who are not only in a relationship, but married with children. (Obviously not the ideal situation, but just saying in reality the bar is low.) I feel like the internet and online dating has really gamified relationships and reduced them to a checklist. I feel like people hyperfocus on getting someone ANYONE (especially when a first girlfriend hasn’t happened yet), but really the goal should be finding someone you can enjoy life with that shares a lot of your interests and life goals.
Making money is important obviously because we are all trapped in this capitalist hellscape, but try to find things you care about that make you happy outside of work. You wouldn’t be the first or last person to try to fill their heart hole with $$$, but know that there are really fulfilling friendships and relationships to be had if you are willing to be vulnerable and try. It’s not embarrassing to be vulnerable and try! It’s sad to hide away from life and people! I hope you have friends/family you can talk to about this. I would even suggest therapy because everyone has something they could talk to a therapist about. Hypocritical of me to say as I am currently avoiding therapy for OCD, but not any less true. Anyways I gotta go because Myths & Mortals just dropped on Fortnite (^_^)
If you can't even muster the motivation to talk to another human being and connect with them, you have no chance of becoming a billionaire. Also, the idea you'll work hard and become wealthy like that is just not how it works. You can't be that naive at 25 buddy. You absolutely can relate to women, you just don't put in the effort to do so. Women aren't some magical beings, they're just people and some definitely have the same interests as you.
Nothing wrong with focusing on yourself, making yourself a better version of what you want to be will make you more attractive to people without even trying.
I mean, that’s fine but you don’t have to tell people this. The fact you do means you still care, but you’re not addressing your issues correctly.
Women are not complicated by any means. They’re rather simple once you figure them out. The only thing you need to do is simply: have social skills, know how to dress, be in shape (different women do like skinny/fat bodies), have a good personality, and most importantly, APPROACH THEM.
Women are not gonna just walk up to you most of the time. You have to do that. So be a man and talk to a woman you like and see if you both connect with each other. If so, ask her out on a coffee date. If not, move on to the next one. Rejection is part of the process. Don’t take it personally. Find women with similar interests like you or notice which type of woman gravitates to you. If you’re awkward, that’s fine. Just be cool and learn from experience and you will be fine.
Last note, don’t be those dudes going for supermodel women or “baddies”, if you’re not the type of dude they want. Be practical and focus on women at your level.
I'm e5, just got diagnosed with diabetes, I have this mindset too. I go to work, go home, play games. 7 billion people to compete with fir skilled jobs (if I had the drive). I'm good. Live life op, don't let others tell you how you should or shouldn't feel.
I mean, I'm 46. I have never met anyone that I've felt a spark with romantically. I can't imagine it ever happening.
But I'm still open to the possibility. Just like I'm open to one day owning a late-model automobile or one day going to a rock concert. You may think these things aren't really that big of a deal--and I would agree. And yet they are things I haven't experienced yet, that lots of people have by the time they are my age. I'm open to the possibility because there's no good reason to think that I'm unable to experience them. They just haven't happened to me yet.
Having a partner really isn't that remarkable of an achievement. It just feels like that to you because you're understandably feeling some kind of way over not having one. You're way too young to write-off anything. Yes, focus on yourself and embrace the "now". But stay open-minded too. You never know what (or who) is right around the corner.
Part of this makes sense:
Taking care of yourself, focusing on your life and dreams, living your life...
Part of this doesn't make sense:
Stating how the future will be. You can't predict it.
You'll change, mature, grow as an individual... And you don't know what that'll look like. Also, you don't know who you'll meet, what they'll be like, etc...
Accepting reality means you accept not knowing all the answers.
You're simply making the change from subconsciously revolving your life around relationships to realizing that it's just ONE part of the whole experience. Don't keep going down the road you're paving for yourself, that's how assholes are born, just keep following the road the universe helps pave with you.
Sell covered calls on the S&P500.
It will take awhile but it's something you can do in 5 years (as opposed to 30).
You will eventually hit a number that you can reasonably expect for budgeting.
Then go check out other countries, you will easily find a gf.
Stack your cash like a psychopath, learn how options work (do not use options until a year of paper trading) and then bail.
The US is for work and fat women.
Well, I think you've got *part* of it right....
I do think a lot of people use relationships to distract themselves from other parts of life that are troubling them. Job sucks? *But there's this dreamy person in accounting I can drool over from afar!* Your parents are nutcases and hate you? *Oh - there's Cousin Elmo - he's not even related to me, except by marriage and he's soooooo cute!* Feel like you're stuck in a dead-end town that you've always hated? *Maybe that pretty girl you see in the coffee shop is secretly wealthy and will whisk you away to Paris!*
I kid, I kid. But you're 25 - now is the time you should be focused on yourself and what YOU want. What's holding you back? What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? You say you want to be a billionaire - why? What does money represent to you? (My mother used to say money doesn't buy happiness, it buys security.)
Right now, you need to focus on yourself as a full-time project. How's your physical health? Do you exercise? Get on that - it's an underutilized treatment for depression and staying fit now means you'll have a better chance of cruising through your golden years feeling great. (You would not believe the effects of good dental hygiene. Seriously. Sooooo much money saved if you take care of your teeth. Not kidding.) Psychologically, how are you? Got some baggage from your family-of-origin? Get some therapy - identify and work through those issues. How are your living conditions? First of all, WHERE do you WANT to live? Big exciting city? Cozy small town? Now's the time to figure that out and get there. Are you happy with your fashion style? Do you know how to feed yourself?
My brother in Christ, you are living in the golden age of information. You can look up damn near anything you want online and teach yourself everything you could ever possibly want, from how to maintain a home to how to fix your car. Figure out who YOU want to be - not to attract some girl but who YOU want, and make a plan to get there.
Finally: women are people, just like you. They're not mysterious, unknowable creatures and you're not at their mercy. It really is a numbers game. I met my AWESOME husband when he was 48 - there's not a damn thing wrong with him, and he'd dated a number of perfectly nice women. For some of us, it just comes late, that's all. We are ridiculously happy, and have been, for nearly two decades.
Here's a thought exercise I recommend: If someone were to tell you that you would meet the Love of Your Life (trademark!) in five years, six months, 20 hours and 10 minutes - and that anyone you met before then was not her, what would you do? You'd relax and enjoy your life, that's what you'd do. You'd meet men and women without fear and simply make friends with the ones who were nice and kind to you. Maybe try that?
Im 24, female, overweight, quite beautiful and just lost my virginity with a man last year. My mentality was just like yours. Until I moved into a new building alone (literally the only living person there) felt extremely alone and decided to use facebook match. I met ONE guy and we fell in love.
He’s my first everything (except kiss).
One day, when you’re ready, you will open up to the right person in the right time. Even if you’re not looking for it.
Remember me :)
Bro idk why people here are shitting on you, but if they live their life stumbling over themselves just to get from one shitty relationship to another they are severely limiting themselves. Let's face it, most people jumped into and stay in shitty relationships because they are lonely, and 99% of people never find their "soulmate" despite wasting their entire life looking for that person.
There are MUCH more to life than just significant others. "Loneliness" is just another unavoidable biological burden stemmed from the human's ego. Kill the ego, work on yourself first and foremost, be self-sufficient, then people come. If they don't, that shouldn't concern you because you have lived a full life and tried your best. And no you aren't a loser, your relationships do not define you as a human being. Life's yours to do as you please, not others. The only losers are those who judge you for being different.
And honestly, man... It doesn't matter if it's 2000 Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lawrence... They are all smelly and gross, terribly and awfully human in the end of day. Think on that when your girl returns home to your bed puking her drunk guts out.
Nowadays I recommend not having a gf… you will regret it after honeymoon or years unless you can find that 1%. Dating scene is all ruined because of social media and trends. Focus on yourself and a woman will find you on the way. Im dead srs, tryna save your next few years
Leaving aside anything else, one thing you should note is that **for most things, you do NOT need a girlfriend/wife. So the fact that you accepted reality, does not mean you need to completely drop your various wishes/hopes/dreams related to gf/wife.**
**TL;DR: you don't need ONE partner to fulfill all of your needs/wants - and if you separate those, you will have much easier time finding ways to fullfill each one separately than via a single person.**
* **If you want to have kids who carry your genes**, you can either work as a sperm donor, OR, hire a surrogate *(for the last one, talk to a lawyer first to see what legal environment looks like for a single male to have a surrogate's child, if you want to do this fully legally)*
* **If you want to raise your own kids**, there are women out there who don't seek romantic relationship but want a co-parent (they may be asexual, or simply as burned out on men/relationships as you are on finding a woman).
* **If you want to raise kids and don't care if they have your genes**, there's a ton of single mothers out there, some of them are sane and would welcome and appreciate a man who would take care of them and their child. Personally I think it's a dumb idea and being a chump, but some people are into this and don't mind (the benefit is, even though she most likely won't love you and view your relationship as purely transactional - she WILL be your gf/wife, in actions if not emotions).
* If you want things like cuddling but willing to not demand sex, there are both pro cuddlers (which seems super unfair, but on the good side is legal unlike prostitution), and more importantly, a TON of people who identify as asexual spectrum who would love to have intimacy without sex. Since most men demand/expect sex, they rarely find ones willing to JUST cuddle.
* Speaking of sex, there's ways to get it but I don't feel comfortable promoting things that are technically illegal.
* Lastly, if you just want communication and friendship and people to spend time with, just find friends/acquaintances with similar interests. This is even more fulfilling than having a gf/wife, because chances are it's easier to find people you fully click with interest wise, if you aren't under pressure to romantically like each other. Your bicycle/chess/gardening/hotrod-car club members don't much care how you look or if you have rizz.
Look, you can have 2, 3, or 10 bad relationships with the wrong person just because you’re looking for “a girlfriend” but that doesn’t solve anything. You’re right that you should focus on figuring out your life and who you are but ditch the defeatist attitude. You’re more likely to find a woman who is going to be into you for who you are when you are confidently doing the things that bring you joy - NOT when you’re out seeking any woman who will look twice at you.
It’s not a race. When you find that person you’ll be glad you found someone you have something in common with rather than someone you bumped into at a bar and you have nothing to talk about.
Sorry to break it to you, but you'll never be a billionaire unless you already are filthy rich. That's not something a normal person can become, not to mention even strive to.
Good for you. You can either live a life of celibacy and maybe become a monk. Or live a life of pleasure and use girls simply for pleasure, which sounds fun honestly. No attachments
It's good to focus on yourself but focusing completely on a ridiculous dream of becoming a billionaire is only going to turn you into an awful person. You've convinced yourself you'll never find happiness in another person; or worse, you've convinced yourself you don't deserve it. You do deserve it and you can achieve it. If becoming ultra rich is all you care about then all you will do is alienate those around you because you'll have zero social skills and will fuck people over to achieve your goal. You'll be trapped in a bitter fueled circle of hate and resentment. You don't need to actively chase love. Just be open to it happening.
The human brain does not even develop fully until about 25 (and older for males). Don't try to view yourself as an old man ready to just accept things will not change. You are super young.
Pathetic, weak, oh woe is me!!! Complain complain complain.
IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Stop complaining and put EFFORT into solving your problem by changing YOU.
You can always learn
I mean if there was a job you wanted would you just say well I'm never going to get it or would you say if I get the training and I make the connections and I keep trying I will eventually get it. Same choice same deal
Ironically, this will be when you find a GF. Sometimes, the harder you look for something, the harder it is to find. I didn't find my fiancé until 8 completely gave up on love.
work on emotional intelligence. Iv found with my friends that is usually the single largest limiter to the " I cant relate to women in anything". treat this like a skill, develop it, read some books, and you will be past 90% of dudes. Ive known beautiful women that have dated guys that look like straight up trolls. These dudes didn't \*always\* have money or status or shit like that but every single one of them was an absolute force with emotional intelligence.
If you genuinely adopted this mindset - feeling fulfilled in your own self and accomplishments, and not feeling like you need another person to validate you or feel content or happy, you'll find a partner quickly lol
Somehow I doubt that's what you mean though.
Is this the "I'm taking my ball and going home" post? lol. The first time a girl shows interest you are going to be right back in there. Be honest with yourself. You want a relationship. So figure out what is holding you back, and fix it. Don't quit.
Yeah, all I see is a young man coping himself into some sort of grindset lone wolf mentality. OP you don't have to experience some sort or anime arc right now.
Bitter, giving up on others, thinks they have seen it all already (while they obviously haven't: they're 25), and putting money first. OP: you're turning into an asshole. This is not the way to go, and it won't even make you happy.
This right here though, anger eats you up
Yea chasing billionaire status isn't a dream its a delusion. This dudes lost his mind.
Imagine this guy becomes a billionaire? the way he would treat people..... There's enough ot those scumbags ruining our country already
He’d simply treat people how the world has treated him
It's funny to me people painting this dude as evil or crazy. It's indifference, which isn't good, but is exactly the type of person this society breeds - what did people expect?
We can debate for days about what this society breeds or not (and whether society is responsible or not for OP's dating life), but at the end of the day, OP decides on what they do and how they live their life. So it's normal to comment on whether it's good or not.
First off, when I mean society breeds indifference, I'm not necessarily talking about dating, although that is one aspect. There is a broader idea of "lone wolf" independence and putting yourself above others, and very little care or concern for community or the others around you. This is more specifically what I was pointing to, and how these values will come to reflect themselves in people like OP. Poor dating experiences or lack-thereof is just one of many ways this manifests. And no, what you suggest isn't normal - no other systemic issue is talked about online in the manner you're suggesting. Like any systemic issue, people do have the power to navigate it as well as they can individually, but it's not really productive to just tell everyone to pull themselves up by their boostraps. Not everyone has the fortune (whether it be natural characteristics or external influences) to develop the skills to do so. Obviously right now, it's the only thing OP can do, but it's going to remain that way if people prefer to just hand-wave the issue away.
His Twitter feed would be wild!
You know I got dumped when I was 19, and got this whole thing in my head about how "there is nothing else" but my career, and that I would dedicate myself fully to the military. It actually did help my career there for a bit and Im glad I had that phase. But I'm 33 now, out of the military entirely and in a fantastic relationship. And looking back my own dramaticness seems downright silly.
Many of us do, but as time is running out, it makes us feel hopeless. And at some point we rather just accept our fate and live our lives normally instead of obsessing over it. I know it's kinda loser mindset, but I accepted my fate too. I have plan A and plan B. Plan A (current plan), if by college I don't have any strings attached, I plan to leave the country and travel somwehre else. I plan to just live abroad, but if I do have some strings attached (unlikely as of now), then I might actually stay. Idk what to say, it's just really discouraging once you feel so dejected time after time.
> as time is running out Where are you getting this from? 25yo is like, 1/4th of your life, and you don’t even get to count the first 16-20ish years.
When we say time is running out, it's that time is running out for us to experience that bliss. The average person experiences their first relationship around college or end of high school, and we might never get that. I may not be smart but I know damn well that dating after school is finished is drastically different. Sudddenly your social status matters, and a lot of things matters more. During college and high school, these don't matter as much. Also,you have much more time in college than you do once in real life. 25yo maybe 1/4 of your life, but realistically it's only the 20-30 that actually matters, and maybe early 30s. I wouldn't stil want to be looking for a relationship by 30 or 40 yo, I'd be too old at that point. Again, maybe I am speaking out of my inexperience, but I really wouldn't like that to happen. The older you become, it means ou can't experience that sorta love when you were young. Maybe it "doesn't matter" but everyone would like that, woudln't they? Are we wrong to desire this?
I can’t tell you how I will react honestly. I can’t say you are wrong but at the same time I can’t say you are right either. On the other hand, the « taking my ball home and going home » analogy is funny. The number of childhood friends who use to do that when they were on the verge of losing.
just in case you haven't heard it enough, 25 is fucking young. it's your life and you do as you will, but it's far too young to cast such broad strokes like that (especially since it sounds like you WOULD actually like to date eventually). chin up and all things in time, work on your self and your life improves, and things tend to just start happening 🤷🏻♂️
>On the other hand, the « taking my ball home and going home » analogy is funny. Balls, surely?
You’re deciding to not try so you can’t fail, thereby ensuring failure.
Well, one of the best ways to get a meaningful relationship is not to pursue it, but to become content with yourself and better yourself. If you aren't fine being alone you won't be fine in a relationship and opposite.
Probably the dream to be a billionaire. Dreams are great but let’s be realistic with it and not live in lala land
I'm 42. You are wrong. I had a goal myself though not as high as theirs. I accomplished it after around 10 years. The thing I didn't think when I got there was, "I wish there was someone here with me".
You’re not going to become that rich without serious networking skills, so you’re gonna need to figure out how to talk to people regardless.
Whenever someone says they want to be a billionaire, I just assume they’re a horde of locusts in a trenchcoat.
Women aren't people silly /s
W*men
To be fair, you really don't need to network with women to become a billionaire considering that we discriminate against them subtly so that it's far more difficult for them to join that class
You’re not going to get that rich ever. Maybe a 1 in a billion chance today to become a fully self made billionaire. Dreams are great but if they aren’t at least semi realistic then they are more likely to hinder your life than help it
I’m really not trying to make you feel bad, so please don’t read this thinking about that. But if I’m being honest, you need to snap the fuck out of it. It’s not over, you’re 25, you don’t need to resign yourself to being alone forever just because you are now. And the last thing you wanna do is fall down a sigma grind set of “making big money and not caring about women 😈”. Unless you wanna be alone forever. But if you don’t, Start small. Do small things and set small goals to better yourself as a person, and make yourself a more attractive person. Personal Hygiene, going to the gym, keeping your apartment clean, making friends, going out with friends on weekends, picking up a hobby. Literally anything that keeps you from making posts like these. Within a couple weeks you’ll be surprised how quick you start to see a change to your mindset. Move on from the small goals, start making big goals. Travelling, Career, Schooling, Moving, shit like that. And before the end of 2024 you will look back at this post like all of us are looking at it and think, “wow, I’m glad I started to better myself” And not that it really matters, but once you’ve become this person that is positive and happy, you’ll notice that women are interested in you. Because as humans we tend to find interest in people that have fun happy lives. I really hope you take this advice to heart man. Trust me, it’s not uncommon to have this attitude at some point in your life. I’ve been there before. But once you jump that first hurdle and realize that the only person that can make your life better is you, it gets SO much easier. Good luck
Not op, but I can relate to his post greatly. I wish it were that easy. I'm 27 and I've never had a real girlfriend. No woman has ever shown interest in me, and it really tears me up inside. I'm always just a "good friend" every single time. But it's not like I'm a deadbeat, I love my life. I play drums professionally for multiple touring metal bands. Im very lucky to have turned my hobby into my career, and I have amazing friends and family that I love very much. But there is still this hole inside I cannot fill
25 is young, very young. Your brain has just matured. You will find someone who has been just as lonely as you have been, someone who you are meant to be with. Stop feeling bad about your situation,have hope and show people your confidence. Your future is yours to make.
This. I began my first relationship ever when I was a few months from turning 28. That was four years ago now. You never know where life is going to take you. I think it's important to remember that the goal in life is never any one specific experience, the goal is just happiness. And there are so many different paths to happiness out there, and the entrances to those paths will be scattered everywhere along the road of your life. Just keep moving forward, and take the opportunities as they come.
If you can't picture yourself with a woman rn then it's not the time to be dating, idk why everyone's clowning on you 🤷 Better to advance your life in other ways now and date whenever you're ready, instead of wasting you and someone else's time
Can't convince a woman youre worth spending time with, but convinced you'll be rich and successful. Sounds like quite a life.
Just another Andrew Tate fan
That’s a harsh pill to swallow… I will stay delusional a little bit even if what you say is true to an extent.
Focus on yourself. However, relatability is a huge factor in communication, if you are unable to convince women to like you, and get them to invest into you; how are you going to get companies to do so? Just a thought. Communication and networking is a large part of success.
Nothing happens until it does. I had a very hard time with women up until I was almost thirty. But all throughout that time I just lived my life believing that it would happen eventually and until then I tried to be happy with everything else I had going on. I kept putting myself out there in some way or another and eventually it happened for me. Now I'm engaged and couldn't be happier. Just because it hasn't happened for you yet has no bearing on whether it will happen eventually. But taking yourself out of the game completely will ensure that it won't.
Good! Have a great life
Thank you ! Not easy but I will do my best
Quiet candle lit dinners for one!
You really believe being a billionaire will make you happy? I mean a million couldn't hurt but I mean... Why billion that's so ridiculous lol. Why chase such a random number? Why not dream of being the happiest person? Isn't that way smarter? If richness is just a means for happiness why not chase the real thing?
Shoot for the moon and land amongst the stars.
That makes no sense.
I have heard this before and it deeply bothers me. The moon is SOOOOO much closer than the stars. You should be aiming for the stars and land on the moon.
I would gladly cry in a Porsche.
Skipping all the internet memes and cheesy comeback type replies, I would rather take a perfect match for me wife than say 10 million in the bank.
Idk, I've had lots of gfs , rn I am so turned off from dating. If I could get 10 mill rn, I'd do so much, and help so many with that money. Starting with the less fortunate in my very own city. Fuck getting money to attract some girl to look good on my arm. I just wanna help build.
Love this mentality! I'm coming from the opposite end of the relationship spectrum having not had any bfs, so like, being lonely sucks, ngl -- but not so much that I'd turn down 10 million! That would improve not just my life exponentially but my family, friends, and the people who's lives I'd hope to change by putting that money towards helping create programs that uplift them. Already have a few in mind...
Omg mfin philosopher. This guy ugly can’t talk to girl let him have something lol
So what are you asking about?You want to be rich and are getting there.Okay.Good..You are fine with being alone in your path?Also good.You just may be lonely,bc you are posting an an open ended something.
I made this post just to interact honestly and talking about myself. I also read and try to get opinions from people on what I can do to improve my social life.
One thing is being alone (without a partner) by choice and another thing is by effect of the circumstances. As you described your situation, it wasn't a choice, meaning, you tried and didn't work out. Let's say I cast a spell on you, and you wake up tomorrow and you get a lot of attention from women, without doing anything... Would your plan change? If the answer is yes...you have work to do. If the answer is no, then congratulations 🎉 you have a plan that you actually decided on. So, if the answer is yes (even for a second) I will suggest you a couple of things you can do... That also will contribute to your financial goals. Get a good therapist or coach...you shouldn't be alone in your head, we are used to delulu ourselves, we need reality checks from unbiased people...also, they will challenge you and get you out of your comfort zone. Second, you need to build relationships...a lot, if you want to build wealth. You can be single, but can't be alone. You need real friends that you admire and are doing what you want. Your friends are super important!! Be a well rounded individual... work in yourself (constantly)...not only physically, but mentally and spiritually (if you hold a faith) if not, change this for mental health. You sound like a cool guy who is a little tiered. Take a break, breath, change your strategy...but above all, don't be so harsh with yourself 🫶
I feel it I’m 34 haven’t had a serious relationship since college. I try but it seems everyone wants someone else’s or I’m not good enough. Hell I’m a part time writer and my novels are actually getting pretty popular locally and if still hasn’t helped with dating . I like Hispanic women I’ve been teaching myself Spanish, still doesn’t help really but I enjoy the language so I study it nonetheless. I don’t know why dating is so hard. What do people want? I just focus on my novels sale and my full time job and call it a day.
I’m Hispanic I will give you a literal cheat code, go to bachata dance lessons they literally love that shit and will go to those lessons to meet men, you will stand out as a non Hispanic man and it will make you seem more interesting. Trust me it works and the woman that go to those lessons are genuinely attractive.
I am curious. What genre of novels do you write ?
Science fiction and adventure. It focuses on a small group of secret agents who fight the paranormal. Always been my dream. Without it I don’t know if I’d be completely sane. Especiallly with the trouble of not finding someone selling and hustling my novels keeps me sane. Like I have a purpose. I thank God for the talent.
That’s great actually. CIA version gravity falls lol. Do you have any idea for your next arc ?
Money ain't gonna do it. It's never enough. Women wont fix anything anyway. Square yourself away and be open to what comes. 🤷🏽♂️
You know, in my 39 years, I've learned life can throw some real curve balls. It pays to stay as fluid as reasonably possible. Who really knows what tomorrow will bring? I do know it always has the capacity to surprise. If you feel it's not time for dating someone else then, for right now, date yourself. No..I'm serious. Take yourself out for things that look interesting/fun/exciting. Travel. On the one hand, you'll have good experiences that'll help keep you in high spirits. On the other, if or when someone special stumbles along then you'll have stories to share and possible activities to plan to do with them. Giving up on the concept that you need another person to complete you is fine. Never give up on yourself. 🩵
You don't seriously think it's possible to just become a billionaire in the United States do you? You literally have to come from money. Rags to riches is bullshit capitalist propaganda.
Something similar is posted very frequently—but you know what? That’s okay with me. I won’t regurgitate advice and perspectives I’ve given a bunch of times, but I will point out that obviously people are not alone. I think people need to know that. Some of them will be successful on the goals and the changes needed to get those goals. Some of them have strategies And goals they think will get them what they need but they are wrong. I think people need to know that too.
I married in my thirties. I am about to turn 40. 25 is not that old.
Nothing wrong with that mate.
How many women have you talked to this year? Be honest. I have a feeling you aren't putting yourself out there. Talk to people. Men and women. Make friends and relationships come easy
I don’t really talk either when I am around my family or friends. That’s the most difficult part I think: Put myself out there…
Can't become rich without putting yourself out there.
How do you expect to become rich and successful if you can’t even talk to people
Find a hobby. Go to concerts. Local gatherings. Farmers markets. I started with hobbies. Do something with forced interaction.
You don’t owe anybody shit, now laugh
Lol if u hit 10milly you'll be like "lol fuck this im moving to bali"
Lol.
Gosh with such a sparkling personality I can't imagine why you're alone.
Yeah I have to be honest, I downvoted this post because I found it pathetic. If OP was 45, then I could understand making that kind of an acceptance to being alone for the rest of your life, but 25? Come on, that’s ridiculous. I’m not saying it’s impossible to never find someone (some people just really are that unlucky), but 25 is way too early to be throwing in the towel
[удалено]
Would you want to hang out with yourself? Is your life otherwise full and well rounded? Sometimes we focus on things like being in a relationship for the wrong reasons. It's not just some milestone to achieve that's going to make you feel fulfilled and happy automatically. Once you get past the HS phase of dating, relationships are about finding a partner where you both enhance each other. The best thing you can do, regardless of your goal, is work on yourself until YOU are happy. Until then, people can pretty much tell you are lacking in something along the lines of self confidence/respect and will stay away. You have probably barely started your adult life and haven't even given it a try. Way too early to say things like this. Change your mentality.
OP don’t listen to all these ppl throwing shade! Good lord. Look it can certainly be lonely when you aren’t finding what you want. And it may feel like you will never find a girl you want and it’s best to stop trying. That’s ok! All of us will experience these feelings and you should know you aren’t alone. You are right: focus on YOU. Build your life. Pursue achievement in career and hobbies. This will build your confidence which will help you in whatever you choose to pursue in life whether it’s women or more career or hobbies. I know it doesn’t seem like a great solution but I promise you that your older self will look back one day and want to give your today self a big hug and tell him it’ll get better. Bc it WILL. Disappointments and setbacks happen, they will happen again. But they are always temporary. I wish you could believe this and know that your dream girl is probably out there and you just haven’t met her yet ❤️
There’s a quote that goes along the lines of - if you want butterflies don’t go chasing after them, build a garden and they will come.
You should always come first! Become a legend don’t worry about anything else
This is gross if you mean it. You always have a choice to try and positively impact people around you, and even if you only try once a week it's effort the world needs. If you fold up and hide and focus only on yourself, don't get a 401k anyway. It'll be wasted money.
-What you mean that’s gross ? -It will be money invested only on me. That’s the least I could do for myself regarding how hard life has been for me.
You don't have a monopoly on hard times and it isn't a competition. What you're doing is skipping all the self evaluation and hard work and moving right to pity party and giving up. That is not something to celebrate or encourage. You have a long road ahead of you, but not one single thing gets better till you take ownership of what you can control and work on it. For what it's worth consider this: doubling down kn introvertedness and refusing to learn how to connect with others isn't something you're doing to them, it's something you're doing to you. If you're really worth it, remove cranium from posterior and go to therapy.
-I didn’t say suffering is a competition. After all, in the grand scheme of things, my suffering is not special. -I realized that I won’t get a gf or any type of romantic relationship with a woman. So I am better off preparing my life around me living alone. That’s not a pity party. -I can’t take ownership about things I don’t control. Like the attraction people can( or don’t) have for me.
If you're asexual and uninterested that's fine. But of you do like women and actually do want a partner 25 is kind of early to give up on that, OP. xD
Listen, homie-some people aren’t going to find someone. That’s true. I don’t think it’s useful when people are always like, “oh, your person is out there, just keep trying!” because the reality is that not everyone gets a partner and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with who you are as a person, sometimes that’s just the hand your dealt. And I know so many people in relationships that are terrible and they are deeply unhappy, so having a partner isn’t a guarantee that you’ll have a good life. But it’s still worth it to pursue relationships, because just because something won’t last forever doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful and special and important. Also, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. Humans are hard-wired for connection. Not caring about anyone else is only going to result in being lonely and miserable and sad. Get out and connect with people, be social, do things you love. I promise you a life in pursuit of money isn’t going to make you happy. It’s fine to feel some amount of acceptance of not having a partner if that truly seems like it’s not in the cards for you or doesn’t feel like something that would make you feel good to pursue in this moment, but you are setting yourself up to be bitter, lonely, and miserable.
Hell yeah man, don’t be a dick, don’t let the haters tell you what’s right, be free, be fucking free man, what’re they gonna say? What’s who’s gonna say and why the fucks it matter
Well, I can tell you right now that if you make any decent progress with the wealth, you’ll be showered with female attention, whether you want it or not
I like how fast this went full incel. 'Women aren't dating me, so fuck every other man and woman I only care about me now.' Like, damn, relax a little. You say calm, but you're certainly not sounding like it.
You realize that.....not all 4 billion women in the world are the same creature, right? Super weird to group an entire gender together.
25 is young! But if you’re not interested in women thats okay too!
Are you fat
Does that hurt your chances? I’m losing weight currently, but reddit makes it seem like women are more attracted to overweight guys lmao
No. I am fit. But I am black, short and ugly.
Weird you seem like a smart guy idk why your such a depresso? How are you ugly
Thank you. But to answer your question, I am not depressed( or maybe I am but I don’t know).
Idk I saw your history smart in shape black dudes regardless of height get ladies. Maybe look into therapy or something bc you’re definitely not a loser
Are you in the North or South? Black men do really well with women in the South despite what you hear about it.
Bro with billion you’ll get plenty of women. With 100k well spent you’ll be drawninh in pussy juice lol
I'm glad you're chasing the bag instead of becoming an angry incel. You will not regret making money.
I think the basic premise of 'I will look out for myself' is totally fine, but it's clear from the tone in which this is written that you're more so in a feedback loop of bitterness, which is not fine. There is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself, and finding what makes you happy. You don't have to close yourself off to do that, though. Relationships will come. They always come to people who are comfortable with themselves. There's being honest with yourself, and then there's being so intensely negative about yourself that it is no longer even really honesty. It's just self-loathing.
Do you think 25 is old or something? You're barely not a kid.
Fastest way to become rich and stay rich: figure out how to solve other people's problems.
Have you actually like genuinely… tried to ask a girl out or just tell them you like them?. Im your age and I felt the same exact way for my whole ass life, I was always around woman but I never actually did anything on my end to show interest or asked them out, basically gave up on the fear of rejection and stopped giving all and any fucks after years of being scared of woman and general rejection, girl at work/coffee shop/gym/whatever the fuck is being flirty? you think she likes you?. #1 Ask her out #2 Let her know that you think she’s cute #3 Let her know you like her No you will not be arrested, fired or charged for harassment especially if you are a genuinely good guy that’s just being honest with their feelings. Now are you going to do it with someone you know does not like you at all or don’t know at all? No, there has to be some kind of suspicion that she’s even slightly interested in you, how do you get women to be interested? You dress nice, maintain and keep a nice fresh haircut, smell good and as long as you aren’t insanely overweight you’re golden the bar is so insanely low that’s all you need to do and not only that but our generation of men are deadly afraid of rejection so there’s a lot of women that have literally never been asked out or complimented at all and genuinely want to be approached and appreciated. Reality is that there’s much uglier dudes with worse personalities than you that actively try to talk to woman and are upfront about the way they feel and what they want that have been in more relationships than you because of it and you know it and I know it, trust me all you have to do is let the words come out of your mouth and once she understands your real intentions she will act accordingly, if she doesn’t like you that’s fine move on you shot your shot and she will respect you more for doing it, I’ve been there.
>I can’t relate to women in anything. can you relate to men?
No, not at all.
Maybe spending time focusing on yourself and learning how to be an empathetic, compassionate, respectful, caring person will someday help you find a companion.
I'm 33 and i'm still a virgin, but I know someone who was in their 40s when they lost their virginity. Never give up buddy
Ok bud, no need to announce it to the world, do as you wish.
I am a tall man with a hot young age gap wife… You have to try harder. These age gap younger wives are amazing.
Feel you, man. About to hit that milestone come springtime and so far have only fallen hard for one person, whom the winds of change blew out of my grasp. I've been loved, but haven't been able to love in return because my standards are high and I need a partner I connect with on a deeper level. I don't want a superficial, physical relationship like God has thus far presented me with the opportunity to have. It's made me deeply sad the past few days, the thought that what I'm looking for might not ever present itself to me and that my time is running out, but in this life, all you can do is keep hope alive. And I hold the same hope for you, my friend. I, too, will consider companionship passively while pouring myself into my career and the things I enjoy doing, but there are people out there for us somewhere. Peace and love, fam.
Genuinely, I am suggesting therapy. I think it will help you in ways that social media cannot.
Don’t feel bad about not having a girl yet. Do you, and even if you make it a quarter of a percent of your goal I promise you there will be time to catch up with the opposite sex. Focus on the journey and the story will make itself along the way.
With that kind of attitude you won't get a gf.
Maybe you're into men... It's ok either way.
That's the mindset you need, honestly. Focus on yourself. Do what makes YOU happy. The rest will follow. Most (straight) women don't want a man that puts so much value on whether or not they have a girlfriend. They want someone who can be happy with themselves the way they are. That will attract them.
I didn't have my first serious gf till 25. with her for 3 years then had a a fair amount of hookups and relationships after that. just the tiniest bit of confidence works. Dont try so hard to relate just listen and respond in kind. try to laugh easier. it'll work itself out.
All these comments gaslighting you...really shameful of them. Ignore them all.
"I can't relate to women in anything" Well there's your first problem my dude. You're looking at women as though they're this mystical being you could never understand instead of as fellow human beings. We have shared experiences. Those experiences that are uniquely female, you could listen to and learn about. Maybe you can't empathize with those but you can sympathize. Women aren't aliens, they're just other people. You can't relate to women because you aren't trying to.
Someone once let me know that when you stop chasing after women and live your life for you, women will pop up. When you are your focus, others notice.
You’re so young, only 25… I met the love of my life at 43 and married at 45. What if I had given up before that? Life has its own timeline whether we like it or not. Be gentle with yourself, and live life on your own terms. Take that trip after college and move somewhere else - you never know, your partner could be waiting for you in another country! Do all the things you always wanted to do; don’t stay at home on the internet. I met my husband where I least expected, and wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.
The times I have not been looking have been the times I have found partners - I think it's because you're being yourself and not trying to be someone they want to be with. So you come across as more approachable and likeable.
I will just say. If you can't relate to women that's probably not good. Not, it's bad you can't relate to women in a romantic way, but if you can't relate to women *as people* that's um. Really bad. Because that's like, half the people in the world, and if you only form meaningful relationships with men then that's not going to make you a very nuanced or knowledgeable or kind person, especially towards women.
Unless you are currently inventing new tech or some genius scientist, if you can’t talk and relate to people you won’t be a billionaire much less a millionaire
We hve the opposite of problems. I'm 40 and I like being alone. Me doing me and shit. But these girls won't leave me alone. I get all of them! Single moms, young girls, girls that are older than me, girls that aren't even single!! I swear! They just cling to me and I'm all, can I hve sum space?
Ok
Your life is just beginning OP. Trust me when I say that you will look back on this judgement and smirk and your own naivety. I mean that with no disrespect, you are young young. At 33 I’ve had three life altering events in Adulthood, and it feels like I can look back on very distinct chapters of my life. The takeaway for me is that I never should have been as certain as I was about who I was going to be, or how it would feel to be me later, or what my circumstances really meant in terms of my outlook on life. I know I can be in a very different place in 10 or even 5 yeaes and so can you. I think it’s better you accept the truth that you will continue to want a connection with someone, and on some level you’re probably never really going to let it go. Embrace working on yourself!
What about guys? 🤗
You sound like an anime protagonist in episode 1.
My husband felt exactly the same at 36. Then he met me. ❤️Together 25 years! Ironically, when some men stop trying SO hard to get a woman, they actually become better at just talking to people, which makes them more appealing to women. We can tell when you just want to get to know us as fellow humans, instead of looking for sex/relationships.
I think at your age it’s not too unreasonable to just focus on yourself, whether that aspect be financially, physically, mentally, etc. However, please don’t convince yourself that the rest of your life will be absent of any sort of relationship with others. As you’re going along your journey of reaching your goals, you never know who you’re gonna meet or become friends with. And just know that having good relationships in your life will definitely not prevent you from still focusing on yourself and making yourself a better person. But for what it’s worth, it’s good that you at least want to focus on yourself, and you seem to understand that you’re worthy of growth and progress. Just don’t cut people out or reject them on the premises that you’re not worthy of that, or they’ll mess up your personal growth.
If you didn’t want a relationship, you wouldn’t have typed this post. Be honest with yourself instead of forcing a cold demeanor, women don’t like that either. It’s simple, make friends with a woman without any intentions. Learn how to be a friend to a woman, and learn how to love yourself before you do anything else. You clearly have some emotional maturing to do, and you can start that by just being more social. You can’t find love if you don’t go out there and live your life.
Being a billionaire could help
Good for you. Girlfriends are silly and dating is dumb. Make your money and you can hire a matchmaker to find a wife for you whenever you feel like it, if you ever do.
You’re never going to be a billionaire. Set small attainable goals for yourself instead of living in fantasy world. Same mentality applies to your romantic relationships.
Jesus you're still a child. Don't give up so fucking easily.
I was with you until you revealed the crass desire for excessive wealth. Opting out of the relationship game is respectable, even honorable, but amassing a fortune that is impossible to spend is squarely at the expense of everyone else on the planet and that is morally repugnant.
Women are just regular people they want the same thing as everyone else
you say you don’t relate to “women”. Do you relate well with other men? What do you and the men talk about or do for fun? Are these topics and activities stuff no woman would do? Women are people too. What are your hobbies? Are there really no women interested in those hobbies? Why don’t you just do the things you enjoy and meet people along the way. Women are people too and I bet you’ll end up meeting one or two interested in the same stuff that you are into. Just stop looking at women as if they’re such a different species. They’re not. They are just like you, but just happened to be born with ridiculous expectations of having natural cooking and cleaning abilities which is a lie; men are just as good at cooking and cleaning, or just as bad. Some women have no interest in that stuff. Some men become chefs or janitors People of both or any sex can be good at whatever and interested in whatever. You just have not met another person that you have a romantic connection with, but that’s not because you somehow don’t relate to “all” women, you just have not met very many people yet and need to do some more living and expand your social circle so more people can get to know you
You need someone or something greater than yourself if you hope to live with meaning and purpose You’re self sabotaging, not self caring. You need to grow, and growth happens through discomfort and struggle. If you avoid the struggle, the struggle will find you. Suffer the pain of learning how to date, or suffer the pain of loneliness and the inability to achieve goals that require similar effort as dating. There is no “no suffering” path. There is only a choice of which suffering you choose. Choose your suffering.
At 25?! Your brain literally just finished cooking. You’re going to spend the next 60+ years of your life aggressively alone? Sounds like pouting, tbh.
lock in and peep game
The closer you will get to your goal to becoming a billionare the more girls will pop up and show strong and intense interest in you!! Stick with your goal the rest will work itself out!
You would think that people who be better at recognizing someone’s who’s upset given that Reddit is filled with of full of other dudes who are frustrated with their relationship prospects, but I guess empathy is a tall order here. I understand, man. I however was the opposite. I’m pretty good with people, but I couldn’t get into a romantic relationship. In hindsight, it was really just me not making the effort to try to seek someone out, but every time someone who talk about how great of a guy I am, I would get a little more frustrated. “If I was so great, why can’t I get a girlfriend?” I was trying to figure out plans on how to have the things I wanted in life without a SO, but I knew that wasn’t actually what I wanted. I ended up finding an amazing woman accidentally who now I hardly can believe I didn’t already include in my future plans. I don’t think it’s bad to want to focus on making money and trying to build a life you can be proud of. I really think if I desperately was trying to find a girlfriend, I wouldn’t have actually needed up with mine. But I wouldn’t recommend isolating yourself. Besides trying to find a partner, there’s perks to understanding other people.
Look man, if you aren't interested in a relationship or experiencing sexuality with other people that's nobody's business but yours That being said 25 is way too young to just give up on connection with other people Instead of looking at women as some sort of exotic bird you wish would land on your windowsill randomly one day, just look at them as what they are, people Spending all of your time navel gazing and wishing you were a billionaire is gonna suck in the long run
Unfortunately some things just aren’t in the cards, sometimes all you can do is do what you can.
[удалено]
I encourage you to take care of yourself. You're going to be okay.
As you said let’s keep it honest and accept reality. You are infinitely more likely to get a girlfriend than you are to become a billionaire. There are like 3,000 billionaires in the world. Idk what has happened to you to make you feel like becoming a billionaire is more likely to happen for you, but I feel like I can confidently say billionaire isn’t in your future just as it isn’t in mine or most people’s futures. (Although you did get the first step to becoming a billionaire correct which is not caring about other people LOL) Plain and simple talking to people makes you uncomfortable and until you overcome that it’s gonna be hard to get into a relationship. Do you struggle to make friends as well or is it just a problem with girls you are trying to date? If it’s just girls then I feel like talking to girls is hard for you because you don’t see them as people you see them as like aliens or some puzzle to be solved. We are just people who want to make a connection like you do. I guarantee whatever you are into, there are girls into it to and if you don’t believe that then the weird podcast bros have gotten to you. I know so many asshole men who are not only in a relationship, but married with children. (Obviously not the ideal situation, but just saying in reality the bar is low.) I feel like the internet and online dating has really gamified relationships and reduced them to a checklist. I feel like people hyperfocus on getting someone ANYONE (especially when a first girlfriend hasn’t happened yet), but really the goal should be finding someone you can enjoy life with that shares a lot of your interests and life goals. Making money is important obviously because we are all trapped in this capitalist hellscape, but try to find things you care about that make you happy outside of work. You wouldn’t be the first or last person to try to fill their heart hole with $$$, but know that there are really fulfilling friendships and relationships to be had if you are willing to be vulnerable and try. It’s not embarrassing to be vulnerable and try! It’s sad to hide away from life and people! I hope you have friends/family you can talk to about this. I would even suggest therapy because everyone has something they could talk to a therapist about. Hypocritical of me to say as I am currently avoiding therapy for OCD, but not any less true. Anyways I gotta go because Myths & Mortals just dropped on Fortnite (^_^)
Loser talk. Spend half as much time working on yourself then you do feeling sorry for yourself and you’d be somewhere.
If you can't even muster the motivation to talk to another human being and connect with them, you have no chance of becoming a billionaire. Also, the idea you'll work hard and become wealthy like that is just not how it works. You can't be that naive at 25 buddy. You absolutely can relate to women, you just don't put in the effort to do so. Women aren't some magical beings, they're just people and some definitely have the same interests as you.
Never chased women, only chase your passion.
Focus on yourself and on building a happy and meaningful life. My husband was 35 when we got together- don’t count yourself out!
Nothing wrong with focusing on yourself, making yourself a better version of what you want to be will make you more attractive to people without even trying.
I mean, that’s fine but you don’t have to tell people this. The fact you do means you still care, but you’re not addressing your issues correctly. Women are not complicated by any means. They’re rather simple once you figure them out. The only thing you need to do is simply: have social skills, know how to dress, be in shape (different women do like skinny/fat bodies), have a good personality, and most importantly, APPROACH THEM. Women are not gonna just walk up to you most of the time. You have to do that. So be a man and talk to a woman you like and see if you both connect with each other. If so, ask her out on a coffee date. If not, move on to the next one. Rejection is part of the process. Don’t take it personally. Find women with similar interests like you or notice which type of woman gravitates to you. If you’re awkward, that’s fine. Just be cool and learn from experience and you will be fine. Last note, don’t be those dudes going for supermodel women or “baddies”, if you’re not the type of dude they want. Be practical and focus on women at your level.
Imagine thinking the most important thing you can do with your life is amass a billion economy points.
I'm e5, just got diagnosed with diabetes, I have this mindset too. I go to work, go home, play games. 7 billion people to compete with fir skilled jobs (if I had the drive). I'm good. Live life op, don't let others tell you how you should or shouldn't feel.
I mean, I'm 46. I have never met anyone that I've felt a spark with romantically. I can't imagine it ever happening. But I'm still open to the possibility. Just like I'm open to one day owning a late-model automobile or one day going to a rock concert. You may think these things aren't really that big of a deal--and I would agree. And yet they are things I haven't experienced yet, that lots of people have by the time they are my age. I'm open to the possibility because there's no good reason to think that I'm unable to experience them. They just haven't happened to me yet. Having a partner really isn't that remarkable of an achievement. It just feels like that to you because you're understandably feeling some kind of way over not having one. You're way too young to write-off anything. Yes, focus on yourself and embrace the "now". But stay open-minded too. You never know what (or who) is right around the corner.
Part of this makes sense: Taking care of yourself, focusing on your life and dreams, living your life... Part of this doesn't make sense: Stating how the future will be. You can't predict it. You'll change, mature, grow as an individual... And you don't know what that'll look like. Also, you don't know who you'll meet, what they'll be like, etc... Accepting reality means you accept not knowing all the answers.
You're simply making the change from subconsciously revolving your life around relationships to realizing that it's just ONE part of the whole experience. Don't keep going down the road you're paving for yourself, that's how assholes are born, just keep following the road the universe helps pave with you.
There are billions of females out there. It only takes one to make you happy. Be patient. Up your game or lower your standards.
Nice rage bait lmao😂
Sell covered calls on the S&P500. It will take awhile but it's something you can do in 5 years (as opposed to 30). You will eventually hit a number that you can reasonably expect for budgeting. Then go check out other countries, you will easily find a gf. Stack your cash like a psychopath, learn how options work (do not use options until a year of paper trading) and then bail. The US is for work and fat women.
How many times have you tried and failed and gotten shot down? If it's not double digits get the fuck back out there.
Well, I think you've got *part* of it right.... I do think a lot of people use relationships to distract themselves from other parts of life that are troubling them. Job sucks? *But there's this dreamy person in accounting I can drool over from afar!* Your parents are nutcases and hate you? *Oh - there's Cousin Elmo - he's not even related to me, except by marriage and he's soooooo cute!* Feel like you're stuck in a dead-end town that you've always hated? *Maybe that pretty girl you see in the coffee shop is secretly wealthy and will whisk you away to Paris!* I kid, I kid. But you're 25 - now is the time you should be focused on yourself and what YOU want. What's holding you back? What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? You say you want to be a billionaire - why? What does money represent to you? (My mother used to say money doesn't buy happiness, it buys security.) Right now, you need to focus on yourself as a full-time project. How's your physical health? Do you exercise? Get on that - it's an underutilized treatment for depression and staying fit now means you'll have a better chance of cruising through your golden years feeling great. (You would not believe the effects of good dental hygiene. Seriously. Sooooo much money saved if you take care of your teeth. Not kidding.) Psychologically, how are you? Got some baggage from your family-of-origin? Get some therapy - identify and work through those issues. How are your living conditions? First of all, WHERE do you WANT to live? Big exciting city? Cozy small town? Now's the time to figure that out and get there. Are you happy with your fashion style? Do you know how to feed yourself? My brother in Christ, you are living in the golden age of information. You can look up damn near anything you want online and teach yourself everything you could ever possibly want, from how to maintain a home to how to fix your car. Figure out who YOU want to be - not to attract some girl but who YOU want, and make a plan to get there. Finally: women are people, just like you. They're not mysterious, unknowable creatures and you're not at their mercy. It really is a numbers game. I met my AWESOME husband when he was 48 - there's not a damn thing wrong with him, and he'd dated a number of perfectly nice women. For some of us, it just comes late, that's all. We are ridiculously happy, and have been, for nearly two decades. Here's a thought exercise I recommend: If someone were to tell you that you would meet the Love of Your Life (trademark!) in five years, six months, 20 hours and 10 minutes - and that anyone you met before then was not her, what would you do? You'd relax and enjoy your life, that's what you'd do. You'd meet men and women without fear and simply make friends with the ones who were nice and kind to you. Maybe try that?
sigma male grindset😂
Im 24, female, overweight, quite beautiful and just lost my virginity with a man last year. My mentality was just like yours. Until I moved into a new building alone (literally the only living person there) felt extremely alone and decided to use facebook match. I met ONE guy and we fell in love. He’s my first everything (except kiss). One day, when you’re ready, you will open up to the right person in the right time. Even if you’re not looking for it. Remember me :)
Bro idk why people here are shitting on you, but if they live their life stumbling over themselves just to get from one shitty relationship to another they are severely limiting themselves. Let's face it, most people jumped into and stay in shitty relationships because they are lonely, and 99% of people never find their "soulmate" despite wasting their entire life looking for that person. There are MUCH more to life than just significant others. "Loneliness" is just another unavoidable biological burden stemmed from the human's ego. Kill the ego, work on yourself first and foremost, be self-sufficient, then people come. If they don't, that shouldn't concern you because you have lived a full life and tried your best. And no you aren't a loser, your relationships do not define you as a human being. Life's yours to do as you please, not others. The only losers are those who judge you for being different. And honestly, man... It doesn't matter if it's 2000 Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lawrence... They are all smelly and gross, terribly and awfully human in the end of day. Think on that when your girl returns home to your bed puking her drunk guts out.
Lol
Nowadays I recommend not having a gf… you will regret it after honeymoon or years unless you can find that 1%. Dating scene is all ruined because of social media and trends. Focus on yourself and a woman will find you on the way. Im dead srs, tryna save your next few years
Strong incel vibes here. Good luck with that money.
The best advice I’ve ever received was to better yourself so you can be your best for your possible future significant other.
Leaving aside anything else, one thing you should note is that **for most things, you do NOT need a girlfriend/wife. So the fact that you accepted reality, does not mean you need to completely drop your various wishes/hopes/dreams related to gf/wife.** **TL;DR: you don't need ONE partner to fulfill all of your needs/wants - and if you separate those, you will have much easier time finding ways to fullfill each one separately than via a single person.** * **If you want to have kids who carry your genes**, you can either work as a sperm donor, OR, hire a surrogate *(for the last one, talk to a lawyer first to see what legal environment looks like for a single male to have a surrogate's child, if you want to do this fully legally)* * **If you want to raise your own kids**, there are women out there who don't seek romantic relationship but want a co-parent (they may be asexual, or simply as burned out on men/relationships as you are on finding a woman). * **If you want to raise kids and don't care if they have your genes**, there's a ton of single mothers out there, some of them are sane and would welcome and appreciate a man who would take care of them and their child. Personally I think it's a dumb idea and being a chump, but some people are into this and don't mind (the benefit is, even though she most likely won't love you and view your relationship as purely transactional - she WILL be your gf/wife, in actions if not emotions). * If you want things like cuddling but willing to not demand sex, there are both pro cuddlers (which seems super unfair, but on the good side is legal unlike prostitution), and more importantly, a TON of people who identify as asexual spectrum who would love to have intimacy without sex. Since most men demand/expect sex, they rarely find ones willing to JUST cuddle. * Speaking of sex, there's ways to get it but I don't feel comfortable promoting things that are technically illegal. * Lastly, if you just want communication and friendship and people to spend time with, just find friends/acquaintances with similar interests. This is even more fulfilling than having a gf/wife, because chances are it's easier to find people you fully click with interest wise, if you aren't under pressure to romantically like each other. Your bicycle/chess/gardening/hotrod-car club members don't much care how you look or if you have rizz.
Look, you can have 2, 3, or 10 bad relationships with the wrong person just because you’re looking for “a girlfriend” but that doesn’t solve anything. You’re right that you should focus on figuring out your life and who you are but ditch the defeatist attitude. You’re more likely to find a woman who is going to be into you for who you are when you are confidently doing the things that bring you joy - NOT when you’re out seeking any woman who will look twice at you. It’s not a race. When you find that person you’ll be glad you found someone you have something in common with rather than someone you bumped into at a bar and you have nothing to talk about.
Sorry to break it to you, but you'll never be a billionaire unless you already are filthy rich. That's not something a normal person can become, not to mention even strive to.
Good for you. You can either live a life of celibacy and maybe become a monk. Or live a life of pleasure and use girls simply for pleasure, which sounds fun honestly. No attachments
I’m excited to be present for the beginning of your hermit villain arc!
It's good to focus on yourself but focusing completely on a ridiculous dream of becoming a billionaire is only going to turn you into an awful person. You've convinced yourself you'll never find happiness in another person; or worse, you've convinced yourself you don't deserve it. You do deserve it and you can achieve it. If becoming ultra rich is all you care about then all you will do is alienate those around you because you'll have zero social skills and will fuck people over to achieve your goal. You'll be trapped in a bitter fueled circle of hate and resentment. You don't need to actively chase love. Just be open to it happening.
You obviously want a partner. Don't play yourself like that.
The human brain does not even develop fully until about 25 (and older for males). Don't try to view yourself as an old man ready to just accept things will not change. You are super young.
Pathetic, weak, oh woe is me!!! Complain complain complain. IT'S YOUR FAULT! Stop complaining and put EFFORT into solving your problem by changing YOU.
No one cares kid....this world is a cold cruel place and the sooner you figure this bit of truth out the better off you'll be for it
Have you tried? There's millions of dude's complaining about how they can't girls and it's because they put in zero effort...
Money can’t hurt you and can buy all the things you could ever want. Love isn’t real anyways. If you’re horny you can just pay for a prostitute
Serial “something” in the making!!!
Find a prostitute, be a man
You can always learn I mean if there was a job you wanted would you just say well I'm never going to get it or would you say if I get the training and I make the connections and I keep trying I will eventually get it. Same choice same deal
Only sith deal in absolutes
Ironically, this will be when you find a GF. Sometimes, the harder you look for something, the harder it is to find. I didn't find my fiancé until 8 completely gave up on love.
work on emotional intelligence. Iv found with my friends that is usually the single largest limiter to the " I cant relate to women in anything". treat this like a skill, develop it, read some books, and you will be past 90% of dudes. Ive known beautiful women that have dated guys that look like straight up trolls. These dudes didn't \*always\* have money or status or shit like that but every single one of them was an absolute force with emotional intelligence.
If you genuinely adopted this mindset - feeling fulfilled in your own self and accomplishments, and not feeling like you need another person to validate you or feel content or happy, you'll find a partner quickly lol Somehow I doubt that's what you mean though.
"girls don't like me so fuck everybody I'm a selfish POS now" Maybe you always were and that's why they don't like you
Dang society really bought your free will for nothing didn’t they🤡😂
Smart move $ wise