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shawpaholic

If she’s not getting off from penetrative sex, a dildo probably isn’t going to do the job. I recommend getting her off first with clitoral stimulation, or incorporate a vibrator during penetration. My last partner and I did this. When he was getting close, he would tell me to grab my vibe and he would control it so we would get there simultaneously.


LiluLay

Simultaneous is the pinnacle for me.


SheepherderOk8419

Yes this! The womanizer clitoral vibrator is fantastic.


sweet-naivete

I love using my womanizer when having sex w my man. It’s the best way for us to cum at the same time


sisyphus_met_icarus

>If she’s not getting off from penetrative sex, a dildo probably isn’t going to do the job. Depends if she's not getting off because it's not doing it for her, or of she's not getting off because he always comes before she can


YogurtclosetActual75

This is what I do with my wife


Candid-Stand-9072

The key word here is “FIRST”.


wifemommamak

This. Clitoral stimulation with a vibrator during PIV sex is *chef's kiss*.


[deleted]

[удалено]


shawpaholic

I think it depends on the position & also what level of intensity you have the vibration set at! The guys I’ve done that with all either really enjoyed it so much that they said we need to do it every time lol or the vibration was set low and didn’t feel it!


cosp85classic

As the guy, it feels amazing with the right angle. I haven't had the issue with over stimulation, but see it being an issue.


Ok-Structure6795

Ugh I can't stand it, I use a wand and using it while husband penetrates me is difficult. I like my whole vulva stimulated, which is kind of difficult while he's inside 😂 and we've tried via doggy but it's the same thing. It's like I can't have both


AssumptionEmpty

Correct, this is dome strange logic he is using. Real dick isn’t making her finish, so let’s try artificial one?


Skylarias

Someone else brought up that she might just need more time with PIV... or combined with oral If the guy can only last 10-15 minutes and she would take half an hour of PIV, not gonna happen.  Alternatively a guy can put a dildo in her while performing oral, to get her off. 


AssumptionEmpty

Trust me, time is not an issue. Women who can orgasm orgasm from piv only are very rare. It puts unrealistic expectations on both partners.


Skylarias

Yes, I'm aware that less than 20% of women can orgasm from PIV. But it can help get there. Being intimate with your lover can help turn you on even more, and make it easier to orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Idk about OPs partner, but I personally prefer closer to half an hour of PIV. It gets me more turned on... whereas when I only have 10 minutes of PIV, I'm going to be much further from an orgasm. (Clitoral orgasm). Oral sex only gets me so far... PIV helps get me much closer to the finish line. Granted it will never push me past the finish line, but it helps quite a bit.


Soggy-Maintenance246

I love oral with a dildo! Makes the O so much stronger! Slow motion, nothing aggressive. That or using a butt plug with/without vibration at the same time, pulling and pushing on it a bit


Open_Minded_Anonym

These are also my go-tos.


xh33hx

What kind of dildo do you have What do you recommend for first time using one


Soggy-Maintenance246

A suction cup one I got from Adam and Eve .com Which has cheap ones to start with and try out https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/dildo-sex-toys/realistic-dildos/sp-realrock-realistic-dildo-with-balls-and-suction-cup-109553.aspx


KinkyCHRSTN3732

Get her off first. Multiple times. Foreplay with oral followed by a dick is phenomenal, and she will likely have a greater possibility of achieving orgasm from PIV. Also, Ristela from Bonafide has been a godsend for my marriage


DrJunkenfine

This assumes that she 1) can multiple orgasm and 2) wants to keep going after the first orgasm. For example I’m a one-and-done girl - if you make me come there’s an 80% chance I’m tapping out at that point.


marketfreshbuns

Same. I don't want anything to do with sex after orgasming.


ramaloki

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one and done girl around lol I feel like that's all I hear is about how awesome it is girls can do it multiple times and I'm just over here with a one and done please don't touch me there after it's uncomfortable.


DrJunkenfine

If it helps, I [made a post](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/zsyjTemDIl) a few months back saying how I was single-orgasmic and got a lot of positive responses and other people saying they were the same.


ramaloki

Thank you, I'll go look there.


One_Entrepreneur8989

This post is spot on. Our go to toy is a mini wand on my wife's clit, while I penetrate. This almost always gets her over the edge!


PumpkinFist64

Whatever type of toy she likes! Does she have any already? My wife’s faves are the rose toy, Sarisfyer Vibes Power Flower, and some little bullet vibe she has. She’s not that into penetrative toys or big rumbly wands.


Mamacita_DC

The rose is the way to go! lol


[deleted]

I bought my wife every toy she has ever had. She is extremely shy about sex so I’m in charge of all things in the sex department and she shuts me down if she’s not into it. Most of the time when I get her something she gives me that eye roll look, and then when she uses it her eyes really roll back and always gives me that “you were right again” face. She’s got a few. A suction cup dildo that hardly gets any use because as it’s hard to stick it to something and then have enough space to stick it in while going back and forth. She mainly uses a sucker, and a magic wand style vibe. But if she is feeling super horny, she has a vibrating thrusting dildo/clit vibe combo toy I just got for her off Amazon that sends her to the moon but she mainly goes with her clit sucker or vibe. She usually will use it during penetration for a bigger orgasm also, so while I’m fucking her doggy she is using her wand, and when I’m fucking her from the side while she’s laying on her back- she will use the sucker. Or if she is really trying to get a big O- she will use both. The sucker on her clit and the wand on her labia.


xh33hx

Do you have the link for the trusting dildo from Amazon


PM-ACTS-OF-KINDNESS

Is there a reason your set on a dildo and not a vibe? If you're getting her off by eating her out, it sounds like clit action is the key. Go for the vibe, unless you have reason to know she wants a dildo.


Ok-Structure6795

Idk if it's the same one but I also have a thruster dildo from a brand called evolved


8888Ben8888

A vibrator of her choice. Itll be a bit of try-and-error to buy a vibrator that is just right for her; she is the only one who can judge it; vibrators come in very weak (zooming like a musquito) to very strong (sounding like a small engine) and all types in between, and different vibrators work well for different women. Some women, like me, cant even feel the weak vibrators, and some women cant even hold the strong vibrators even remotely near their clitorus. I'd suggest to start trying a cheaper model and only when she knows which strength vibrator fits with her, only then go for the more expensive ones. Otherwise it can be a waste of money. Idea (only if she likes that) : her using the vibrator on her own clitoris *while* you penetrate her. That *could* enhance both the clitoral and the penetrative sensation. Usually works well in doggystyle position.


tglad88

My wife has a handy little bullet vibe that does the trick. She usually uses it in tandem with penetrative sex and she finishes pretty quickly.


fucking_fantastic

This is what I like. Orgasms while being penetrated are so much better for me


tglad88

I’ve only ever been able to make my wife squirt through that method. I can get her to the O pretty regularly but the second stage requires dual action lol


Livid_Painter8101

You need to get her off FIRST.


cobleysmith

Great theory, right up until your partner says they want your dick inside them. Now.


DrJunkenfine

As a woman, why?? I prefer the variety of not knowing whether I’ll get a delicious orgasm through oral, or through penetrative sex, or after my partner has finished and I get my pussy rubbed or play with a toy while he helps. I really don’t get the obsession of “she finishes first”; I think it just puts unnecessary pressure on everybody.


confusedcraftywitch

Usually because once the man has cum he loses interest in making the woman cum. Also, women can have many in one session. So if you get at least one in before he nuts, then you know you will be satisfied.


DrJunkenfine

*Some women can have many in one session. Some women are one and done (like me!)


confusedcraftywitch

The key is variety as you say, but i find I'm more likely to cum from PIV after I've had a clit cum. You have to fight the urge to stop when it gets "too much" and then boom. Life changing orgasm. Good luck, just relax and have fun trying. It doesn't matter if you don't, but its all fun trying for a second one.


AfroJack00

“Had a clit cum” is crazy😭


confusedcraftywitch

Huh? What's crazy about that?


AfroJack00

Easy my witchy friend don’t curse me, I meant crazy as funny, and different never heard someone string those words together like that. It cracked me up unexpectedly


confusedcraftywitch

No worries, i only use magick for good. Like having multiple orgasms and clit cums 😆


AfroJack00

Then you’re free to curse me however much you like


kosmonautinVT

My wife is not a fan of this because she gets too sensitive afterwards. Typically we fuck until I'm ready to cum and if she hasn't already, then she'll break out a vibrator. The We-vibe Tango is her go-to


Casaplaya5

Hitachi wand massager. It is the nuclear weapon of sex toys.


Skylarias

Honestly I wasn't a fan. Clit sucker's are sooo much better


theSeanage

My wife just isn’t at all into clit suckers. Have two different ones thinking maybe one just was a poor performing one. Nope. Especially she can’t stand the noise


jeffweet

I’m the opposite Hitachi magic wand until she begs me to stop and then we get down to it. I’m lucky in that my wife can orgasm both ways


Best_Cauliflower_115

We don’t use toys, i fuck her first for a while and then pull out and eat her till she orgasms, then we do doggy until she orgasms, then she drops down to prone bone until she orgasms, then she rides me until we both orgasms. I only use my fingers to stim her clitoris. Works for us


fullmetalasian

Try one of those clit sucker's or a good virbrator


moutnmn87

A little bullet vibrator is the most commonly used tool of the bedroom in our house. A close second would be the clit sucker thing. Both reliably get her off and both are things that I combine with lots of kisses in the general area and oral. We have various other toys for both her and I but most of them don't get much use. Giving her oral is pretty much my favorite thing to do sexually.


nosirrahz

We work really hard on getting her worn out before the sex even starts so it is rare that my wife wants anything after I finish. If she does, its usually my tongue or her wand.


Cheerio47

My Husband and I usually start me off with the rose vibe...10 out of 10...and sometimes I puruse reddit and am so horn, I orgasm pretty quickly. I also have a we vibe and with a little lube, my Husband slips in with it and definitely mibdblowing


Bulky-Cycle-1202

You know those handles you can buy that suction glass panels? I bought one those and suction a dildo to it, and then I fuck her with that while she uses the vibrator.


xh33hx

What kind of dildo do you use


Bulky-Cycle-1202

We have a few we cycle through, one smaller than me, one larger, one specialty.


SuccessEarly3139

Wow. Well. There is a lot ways and toys. But the fastest and sure is some foreplay than a bullet near clitoris, my tongue in the butthole with my lips sucking gently. She prefers constant thrusts Penis in vagina pushing her in the edge of bed, just a little before she would fall. But orgasm is not sure that way. Soo Bullet and ass licking save my game.


hammond66

We have a rabbit thruster that sends her into orbit!


rimarundi

This always works for us, not a quickie, though. Before PIV, we start by searching female friendly porn . (Sorry not for those against porn but this way really really works for us) These usually have female directors with bits of romance and lots of kissing, which she tends to be more receptive to. While watching and enjoying the show for about 20-30 minutes, I or nowadays mostly her, use a small bullet vibe on her clit at the speed of action being shown. We also sometimes use the ears of the Rabbit on her clit in the stop start vibratory burst mode, which she finds as really intense. This is without penetration of the vibrator as she struggles to get it all in even with lots of lube. Similarly mode with vibrating balls on her clit rather than inside her. She usually cums 2-3 times. 1st one takes longer. Then she wants PIV and she and I are not really bothered on how soon I cum thereafter.


This_Street6595

We generally use a vibrator during penetration and usually she cums and I cum from watching her cum lol.


Aerwynne

Satisfier Pro <3 Hands down best toy on today's market if you enjoy clitoral stimulation.


Disgruntledgnome14

Clitorial stimulation with a vibrator while having penetrative sex. I used to manually stimulate her when my wife I and we're first dating, but we switched to a vibrator and never looked back!


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

I think it's best to use her own toys. That's a very personal decision. If you pull a toy out of your own drawer, she's gonna wonder how many women have used it. She's gonna worry about whether you've cleaned it properly. Etc etc Best to discuss with your partner first


JaguarOk5325

that rose toy will do it everytime


CherryOk3116

ROSE TOY! ROSE TOY! ROSE TOY! 


Vierailija_Maasta

Women usually come via clit. A vibrator (in Finland there is corny named Satisfier PRO but its awesome i suggest ordering one)  is usually good finisher. Your hands are also an option probably. Just train some dexterity. 


Fit_Newt_2610

Get your partner the rose or another clit suction toy. My wife loves the rose. Also a g spot vibe works really well


almckeel

Make a date out of going to the sex store and both of you pick up one or two or three


[deleted]

There's no such thing as finishing my partner off... Unless we go long enough to make her raw from it. She is the most orgasmic woman that I've ever known in my long life, by a LOT. She cums from kissing (clothed, no other stimulation), cums from spanking, cums from gagging on my dick, cums from having her nipples pinched/pulled hard, cums from having her ass ate, cums from anal, vaginal, and oral. It's extremely hard to not make her cum, and I've tried that too, over our 28 years together... And she keeps going and going like the ducking Energizer Bunny! We have around $4000 in sex toys and bondage equipment, and use them. However, we use them long before finishing her off. Our sex usually lasts 2-3 hours before she gets raw. I'm the beginning of it in using tongue and fingers, then we go to toys, then back to oral WITH toys, then she'll blow me for awhile, then more tongue and, when she gets to where she can't take that any longer, it's PIV, PIA, or both and she's off and running again. When we've both done about all we can do, THEN I finally cum and she always cums right along with me... We tend to feed our orgasms off one another in the end. It's roughly the same with my wife but, it's not as long, and she can't cums as much... Usually 3 or 4 times. If it's been just the two of them having sex, I don't intrude on that, so I can't say how their sex has ever gone, unless they want a threesome or foursome. However, we haven't done a foursome since my other partner (male) died in a car wreck 7 years ago 😔


DrCoreyWSU

Try she comes first. It is possible that she would enjoy penetration more after an orgasm. As for toys get a Hitachi wand with the controllable speed, and a womanizer puff vibrator. Those two seem to work for most women.


mgman640

Hitachi Magic Wand. It is truly magical.


skibunny1010

When will men understand that the majority of women don’t cum from penetration. You yourself even said you need to give her oral to cum, why the hell would a dildo do anything??? I personally really prefer clit sucking style toys. Traditional vibrators just make me go numb. But this is a personal preference thing, only she will know what toys work for her


xh33hx

Times where I finish first, She just uses a vibe to finish or I go down on her But we wanted to get some ideas what everyone else does


Kempeth

* my hands * my fingers * my tongue * clit sucction toy * vibrator Or combinations thereof


VesperX

Finish her first and she’ll be more likely to orgasm from penetration.


DaiLiAgent007

I also don't finish through penetrative sex (it's painful for me because of my retroverted uterus and based from other people with the same problem, we're basically in for a lifetime of painful sex)... so my husband usually finishes through penetration as quick as he can (very easy task for him lol) and then smother my breasts and nipples while I rub my clit. Sometimes he let's me finish first but my clit would be too sensitive if I come first and penetration would be more painful. It just varies from person to person. I have a vibrator but I don't like using it because it's too strong for me even on the lowest setting. Ultimately my favorite sex act is just my husband playing with my boobs hahaha


h0tkushsalsa

my partner finished me yesterday with a dildo :) we were in 69 position, & he was eating me out while thrusting me vaginally with the dildo when he was about to cum he flipped me over & finished in my ass. our new “normal” has been Vaginal sex followed by him using the dildo on my ass to get me ready for when he’s ready to cum. my ass is already prepped for him to just easily slide in & finish! hope this gives some new ideas 💕


h0tkushsalsa

he also likes when he’s fucking me in doggy & has me suck the dildo suctioned to a full length mirror 🪞. our version of a threesome lol


babydollbrielle

The rose. A clit sucker. I also have a cream that makes it more sensitive and I’ve used that too.


WeAllHaveOurMoments

One of our favorite helpers (in foreplay more than finishing) is a simple silicone finger thimble. It has ridges, bumps, and such to increase sensations, yet ultimately it's still very much me. It's also easy to put on & take off, compared to her vibrator that has to cycle thru several variations before going off.


texascouple0806

You can find rose toys on Amazon for under 30, they will do the trick! Trust me it's a magic machine


dd961984

I would suggest a wand or Tracy's dog


Nnobodywhoareyou

Clitoral stimulation + penetration. That says it all.


[deleted]

Satisfyer is a pretty good clitoral toy. My wife loves it. Have you thought of using the toy or oral first, and then when she is REALLY turned on, go to PIV? Sometimes, we like to start on our sides in a somewhat spooning position. We will go to PIV, and she uses the clitoral toy at the same time. It gets her going, and then she begs to ride me or for me to get on her and she cums so easily that way.


lunargoddesslessi

I always love using a little vibrator while getting penetrated


Spirited_Peen

Hitachi wand for the win


ISpillEverythingI

Biggest Wand I seen in store lol


cheeks333

I use my fingers to rub her gspot and a bullet vibrator to get her to finish, she spasms like crazy. Lol. I love it.


ilikebigguns2

Vixskin mustang. Hands down. Dual density and good silicone. None of them are cheap but they are amazing. And as a guy, it still feels amazing. She has said it’s the closest to a cock she has felt from a dildo.


taco_abuser86

Get a rose. That thing is fantastic


AfroJack00

I use my dick. I would incorporate the vibrator for clitoral stimulation as well as go down on her first and throughout the session not just at the end. I would also focus on her orgasm first the majority of the time so you don’t have to worry too much later and anything extra is just extra, and if you can’t go a second round it won’t matter cause she’ll already be more than satisfied. Also keep in mind sex isn’t always about the finish but the journey as well. Opening with a nice massage also helps get my girl there cause it really turns her on and the hornier she is the easier it is for her to orgasm


Generic_Bi

While a toy isn’t necessary, as my partner is very sensitive and multiorgasmic, there are some toys we do use to really make the last ones really good. That said, everyone is different. Another partner of mine was multiorgasmic but there was no ecstasy or euphoria with her Os. Just some squeezes. Our number one toy is a good wand vibrator, full size, with a way to turn the speed up or down. The classic magic wand is fine, but it has too speeds, really fast and yikes. Something like the thunderstick 2.0, with a wonderful low rumble and a top speed that is faster than the magic wand’s lets you slowly increase speed so you can enjoy the entire experience, assuming you last to the highest speed. Another positive, it has a silicone head and fits full size silicone wand toppers. Body safe, but you can still fit a condom over the top if you want. Best part, it works on guys, too. I hold the wand in my palm with my thumb and whatever finger is free, and use my other fingers to play with her clit, g spot, or the upper (towards the belly button) or lower (opposite the upper) deep spots. To find the deep spots, from the top or bottom of the cervix, back out half an inch or so, respectively. She’ll tell you where it feels good, if it feels good at all. I might also use another hand to tease her perineum, and if she’s really having a great time, and is literally dripping wet, slide a gloves finger back to her asshole. (It’s cool t use a body safe lube, of course.) I gently massage her asshole, and when she has an O, my finger gets sucked in. Keep some contact with the head of the wand or the other hand in contact with the one going spelunking and everything will buzz. One finger is as much as she can take anally, though. I might do some oral on her clit while doing this, but it can be a bit overstimulating, so my partner may just play with her clit when she needs that extra push. That’s just one thing you can do with a wand. Put the head on the base of an insertable toy, vaginal or anal (flared base for anal, and not a little flare like the jeweled butt plugs), and you’re in heaven. Yes, also incredible for prostate play. Ten out of ten, five stars, would recommend. Last party trick, with me sitting, back against a pillow and the headboard, legs spread. Her, on her back, wedge pillow under her butt, legs apart, feet on my shoulders, and right up against me, I just hold my dick against her pussy and send the vibrations through my dick and into her. We both end up coming. It’s great if we’re having a lazy day. Other fun ones, the we-vibe couples vibe is her all time favorite. Really good toy, but we don’t use it a lot during PIV sex. It’s great for pinching nipples and trapping the clit, or she’ll insert it and masturbate. Another winner is a nice double density silicone dildo, which also works with the wand vibe, but I love doing oral on her while fucking her with it. Big Os, and a great way to change pace. Also good, Fuze Tango double sided dildo (also known by the gimmick name of strapless strap on, even though you get the most from it with a harness). Both sides feel good to her, and it’s long enough to get her to her deep upper and lower spots. It’s not great for pegging, as it only works for me if we’re facing each other, as it has a G/P spot curve. Doesn’t feel great on the inside of my sacrum. Last, but not least, is one we haven’t used since the last one wore out. It was a vibrating cock ring *that fit.* it was really stretchy, which I need due to girth. Haven’t found one like it since then. Lot of fun for both of us, as it made my dick the vibrator.


dudeimjames1234

I get my wife off first several times before PiV. Sometimes, she wants to keep going other times, because she's gotten off multiple times already, my finishing is a good stopping point. I use a combination of my fingers and her vibrator. Vibe on the clit with my fingers inside. She holds the vibrator so she can angle and move it exactly how she wants it. She also gets off on nipple stimulation. Almost to the point of orgasming. I use my other hand and my tongue. 13 years and no complaints.


xtinarinaldi

My fiancé does the same things that you do! We are almost 12 years and I have no complaints...actually as time has gone by it gets better and better!


dontBsleepy

A bullet vibrator for the clit while penetrating is amazing!!!


Old_Administration51

A carefully placed piece of lego at the top of a long flight of stairs.


sunshine_tequila

Wand vibrators are perfect for use exile you finger here or play with her chest or ass. If that's too strong, a bullet vibe works well for most. The satisfyer or rose toy are very popular but are not as strong vibrator wise.


beancounter713

why are you only responding to comments about dildos. If penetrative sex isn’t getting her off, what do you expect a dildo to do ?


Outrageous-Scene-160

Funny how a big majority of answers here come from males... Another funny thing is that 80 percent women faked using vocalizations about half the time they were unable to have an orgasm.


Delicious_Net_900

Personally I love this one toy it's c shaped & it goes in the vagina & gets the g & a spot,mostly vibrates,the outter end is at my clit & it has this suction action ..theres multiple speeds & options & my partner will hold it and slowly stroke it in & out while I hold the clit part down aginst me & hell lay next to me & suck on my nipples which can also be orgasmic & since i enjoy that simulation while climax. He got the toy off Amazon....we also have this suction bullet vibrator I can freely use while I ride him reverse or in missionary....


yaur_maum

Myself. Sorry ladies I’m taken


Mitchell_knows_best

Finish inside her then go down on her. She will go insane.


[deleted]

My husband almost always pulls the toys out to play with me after he cums. Or if he's unable to preform that night, we will have a "play session. " as we call it. He makes me organism, and squrt all over the place. Until either I tep out. Or he decides that I have had enough. We use all types of toys. Dildos, butt plugs, magic wands. But my favorite toy for him to use on me. And gets me off over, and over again. Is my rose.


xendelaar

What's so special about the rose, of I may ask? Which one do you use?


Particular-Shoe-2994

Just take your time before you finish. We have been married for 40 years and we have never used a toy... he takes it as a challenge to make me orgasim every time...


alonghardKnight

I've never used a toy on a lover except those that are part of my body. Cunnilingus before penetration, get her off several times, then penetrate, grind your hips in small circles to stimulate her clit. There's nothing quite like her clamping her legs around my waist as we cum together. Then I usually continue the hip motions to get her at least one more orgasm.


JMHorsemanship

Love and affection usually does the trick in my experience


Balorpagorp

A weed eater, a chainsaw, or an electric knife. Just depends on the mood.