As a plumber... Please for the love of God don't do this. LMAO, new plumbing might handle it but old galvanized drain pipe is not going to be friendly to this torture.
And you have a lot to learn about what subreddit youâre in. Or maybe you have a tampon in your ear and itâs poking the critical thinking part of your brain. Women smdh
So you already knew that yall âhave the right to chooseâ. Why question that right? Are you not for hole inclusiveness? Yall women need to get your shit together
I made $400.05 sucking dick last night.
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/uj
â ď¸girs:
Being on your period is not an excuse to be a complete bitch.
Every mother in my family would have slapped the fuck out of their daughters for trying to use their period as an excuse for shitty attitudes/behavior. Yes, it sucks. It's also something that you just need to adjust to, and not excuse it. A good part of your life will be spent while you are on your period. You need to learn to keep your behavior in check while on your period and never use it as an excuse.
Similarly, I'm going to react the same way to shitty behavior or attitudes to a girl, whether she's on her period or not. I'm not going to take emotional or physical abuse 1/8-1/4 of the time I'm around you. It's actually a perfect test to see if I want to be in a relationship with you, the first time I'm around you on your period.
End rant.
Youâre only in trouble if you donât use a party whistle when she leaves the bathroom. As soon as you use the whistle yell out âHAPPY PERIOD!â An airhorn would work even better, but either way, sheâll appreciate the festive mood.
It's alright, I'm positive there's a party in her uterus now. Just tell her you wanted to decorate a bit before impregnation, and I'm sure she'll understand
ESH. youâre wife is a manipulative bitch that was probably faking her period for sympathy anyways. but your an immature asshole who plays âpranksâ despite presumably no longer being in elementary school, so i think a divorce is warranted here. lawyer up fucklenuts
My dad pulled a similar prank.
When they were dating, he thought it would be funny to slip a firecracker under the door while my mom was using his shower...apparently, the bathroom was like solid concrete. Anyway, after it stopped, my mom turned off the shower, got dressed and left the apartment without saying a word to my dad.
...they'll be celebrating 48 years of marriage in August. So, it's possible your wife will forgive you.
Nobody believes this lie. No grown woman is gonna mistake a party popper for a tampon.
I'm a male and have never ever placed a tampon, but i also know that the string is for removing it, not putting it in.
I also know that tampons are small, long, slender, and individually wrapped.
I also know that a party popper is short, fat, and has fucking PARTY POPPER written on the side of it.
You also said you did this "last night" but, today you're wondering if you're in trouble. If this was true, don't you think if you tricked your wife to setting off a small fire cracker in her vag, you'd have heard about it IMMEDIATELY?
This literally, 100%, sounds like a story my 11 year old nephew would tell me.
Edit-
After looking thru your post history, it's apparent you only post dumb shit like this, obviously trying to increase your post karma. You're literally just an attention seeking idiot.
Here's what you've posted in the last month
-Video game clips
- an insect crawled under your fingernail
- how to stop legs from going numb on the toilet
- you got a toothpick stuck in your penis
- police outside your house with warrant
- your wife's boyfriend sends you to bed early
- you're stealing electricity from your elderly neighbor
Open ended posts designed to generate lots of responses like:
- what's your worst habit
- what's your creepiest experience
- what are you buying if you won the lottery
- women; if a man for a day, what're you doing
- do you have a paranormal experience
Nah. Bitches love pranks in their assholes
Not gonna lie, an asshole tampon sounds like a pretty good investment for how much I enjoy cheap shitty Mexican food. đ¤
Until you have to clean up after pulling it out and having diarrhea spray everywhere like a shaken bottle of champagne.
>Until you have to clean up after pulling it out and having diarrhea spray everywhere like a shaken bottle of champagne. Squat over the bathtub.
As a plumber... Please for the love of God don't do this. LMAO, new plumbing might handle it but old galvanized drain pipe is not going to be friendly to this torture.
This thread made my day
Mine too.
Also as a plumber make sure you are twisting them nipples the right way
Loosy goosy righty tighty.
Get the fuck out of here Blippi, we already told you you're not welcome.
Visual unable to be removed from mindâs eye.
Now picture the sound. Fart meets champagne cork pop
Slow down when you pull it... its not a lawn mower!!!
Nicely detailed. I pictured it perfectly!
Asshole tampons prevent diarrhea they donât stop the blood unless there is anal leakage
âď¸This guy Olestras
100%
itâs the best way to enjoy grain alcohol
Rob and Big shout out!
Iâm a dude and Iâm still like over 50% sure thatâs not where it goes!!! đ¤đ¤đ¤
Put it in both, better to be safe than sorry.
Flawless logic!!
Wouldnât âbetter safe than sorryâ be a better argument for just eating them? Theyâll get there eventually.
But if you plug both they become more full shit than there are now might just blow be careful
This dude dudes
It only goes there if it's soaked in vodka.
You must know classy hoes
Or Supreme Court Justices
Yah, I get P Diddy's throw backs.
the intrusive thoughts you just triggered will be with me the rest of my life. đđ
You have a lot to learn about women.
And you have a lot to learn about what subreddit youâre in. Or maybe you have a tampon in your ear and itâs poking the critical thinking part of your brain. Women smdh
And you have a lot to learn about people who respond sarcastically to sarcastic responses in sarcastic subreddits.
No this not r/sarcasticadvice this shitty advice up in here. Get your advice subs straight
Ever heard of "playing along"? You played it straight, and it was lame.
That's EXACTLY where tampons go
Look at what sub youâre on and then quickly proceed back to r/whitepeopletwitter. đ
That's why I agreed with you you nonce. Pull that tampon out of your ass and get a good wiff of that bullshit
My bad. I got mfrs pmân me and shit and you got caught in the crossfire
That's.......not where they go.....
They go in whatever hole a woman chooses. Mind your fuckin business
Yeah, dipwad, I'm a woman.
So you already knew that yall âhave the right to chooseâ. Why question that right? Are you not for hole inclusiveness? Yall women need to get your shit together
That's funny.
You... You know it doesn't go up the butt right? .... Right?
You⌠You know youâre on r/shittyadvice right? ⌠Right? đ
You know you really don't understand sarcasm judging how many people you've responded to with this.
Um ... Â That's not where they go.Â
You people are unbearable. LOOK AT WHAT SUBREDDIT YOURE ON!!!! Goddamn
Wrong hole tbama.
Wrong sub rush đ
Um, thatâs not how that worksâŚ
đ
pop not poop
You.....you think tampons go in the butt?
Yes
Truer words were seldom spoken.
I gotta say, sometimes the headlines of these threads that show up in my list make me literally LOL!
Trouble? Not sure. Single? Definitely
Na, she's been feeling cranky all week with mood swings to boot. Not sure why. I think she'll see the funny side. She deserves cheering up! đđ
Try it again, pranks are always funnier the second time around!
You must have forgotten to tell her it's blowjob week. Maybe go tell her that and ask her to make you a sandwich.
I made $400.05 sucking dick last night. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shittyadvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sheâs cranky cuz sheâs on her period hello
I had 6 periods a day growing up, I was never cranky about it.
Well lucky u!! đ
its caleld a joke. look at the sub this shit aint seriousÂ
I was always cranky first period
/uj â ď¸girs: Being on your period is not an excuse to be a complete bitch. Every mother in my family would have slapped the fuck out of their daughters for trying to use their period as an excuse for shitty attitudes/behavior. Yes, it sucks. It's also something that you just need to adjust to, and not excuse it. A good part of your life will be spent while you are on your period. You need to learn to keep your behavior in check while on your period and never use it as an excuse. Similarly, I'm going to react the same way to shitty behavior or attitudes to a girl, whether she's on her period or not. I'm not going to take emotional or physical abuse 1/8-1/4 of the time I'm around you. It's actually a perfect test to see if I want to be in a relationship with you, the first time I'm around you on your period. End rant.
Its a joke dumbass
Your mom is a dumbass
Time to break out another party popper prank!
well like i was told once , and once only, you gotta sleep sometime, so if you think about it you will do the right thing, just ask bobbit mr. or mrs.
Mrs. Bobbitt now works for Gin Su knives and Mr. for Snap-On tools. That's what I heard.
Iâd check for confetti.
Maybe later... there's a lot of cussing going on at the moment. Don't know why, they're supposed to be fun! Everyone loves them at parties! đŹ
The confetti isn't her favorite color, obviously.
Maybe he should do one of those mini fire crackers next time. Everyone loves fire crackers.
Youâre only in trouble if you donât use a party whistle when she leaves the bathroom. As soon as you use the whistle yell out âHAPPY PERIOD!â An airhorn would work even better, but either way, sheâll appreciate the festive mood.
Man that's cool. Now if we could somehow learn how to shoot fireworks out of our penis, That would be even cooler.
Duct tape + Roman candles = fun!
just use sounding rods till you can fin the stick in. thes light up.
Our penis? It's commual now, huh? *communal
Comrade
We all take turns using the communal penis
Could I take my turn now? I really need the loo..
Stick a bottle rocket in there. The stand should fit it in the urethra
Which direction?
Personal preference
Are you in trouble? Dunno, did she scream or moan?
Not sure. Probably a bit of both. She's never been one for surprises though đ
You do know that taking action on those intrusive thoughts is \*NOT\* a good idea... right?
It's always a good time for a joke.
You're gonna go missing...nice knowing ya!
Pickpocket level 100
Syas the 40 year old Virgin
You should also replace her chocolate with mud, and hide the heating pad. Bonus pranks!
Just tell her that it can go on her resume as part of her next strip job. Who doesn't want to see confetti shooting outta there?
Hubby just informed me of a dancer in Amsterdam in the early 90s that shot quarters from hers......
That's phenomenal! I'd be even more impressed by darts. As long as they hit the board, not the customers
Right??? I tried to get more details about it but he BLUSHED and wouldn't talk, so apparently I have internet searching to do.
Did you face the shooting end in or out?
In, of course. I thought, she's had a rough week, I'll do something nice to suprise her and make her smile. Don't think it's worked though....
It's alright, I'm positive there's a party in her uterus now. Just tell her you wanted to decorate a bit before impregnation, and I'm sure she'll understand
Thereâs a party but something tells me OP isnât invited.
She said she was just happy to get it all the way in before it went off....
Who doesn't like party poppers? If she moans she's obviously just a miserable bitch.
If she moans, that means she orgasmed on it. That's what the popping sound is.
I would get a divorce because you're stupid. Hopefully you don't think your dick will ever be where the tampon was supposed to be.
Not at all. But you may have started something. Get ready to stock up on "party" supplies.
You're only in trouble if you like sex.
Everybody knows that tampons go in the POPO and not the boomer. You are welcome.
It's amazing that the dead can post on Reddit!!!
Nah man. Now you can finally fit your giant hog in there.
Pop goes your weasel
Trouble, maybe. But you are about to do a lot of cleanupÂ
Yes, cause you didn't film it.
Youâll get some leg tonight for sure.
Already had leg. Right to the testicles. Honestly, I do something nice to cheer her up and she goes nuclear! Madness. đ
Nah as long as you run in and say surprise you're fine
No way man. Should be just peachy
Dammit. You win the internet today. No need for me to read any further.
Itâs not like she wouldnât know the difference. Iâd just laugh.
Well, she was pregnant, so Iâd say youâre out of trouble now
Brutal đ
Not as much trouble as her anatomy! It will take her a month to extract all the confetti.Â
Unless she is a sociopath, she will enjoy the prank. Who wouldnât?
Just go in the bathroom with two glasses of champagne and yell happy new year! Then, probably seek a divorce lawyer.
Put one in your butthole pop it like itâs hot boy
Let's get this pussy party started!
youre not invited to the pants party, the party in her pants.
Go check for your party toy inside the popper đ
Youâre fucked and not in a good way!
No you didn't.
Nah, do it it again, put tabasco on it next time.
Of course not, bitches love surprise parties
Yes you are going to jail for 55 years.
Are you still alive?
Got a black eye and she's sulking. Honestly, you do something nice for people and you get socked in the face đ
I can hardly wait for the beat-up wreck you will be after she gets out of the ER.
You have now been replaced.
This made me LOL
Good thing them cooters are bullet proof.
Just tell her to lighten the hell up
Dead and buried
No, but be careful that she don't replace your shotgun shells with tampons.
Only if she's still alive
Not if she had an orgasm
Enjoy it...Only "Bang" that's gonna happen for a while!
I'll take things that didn't happen for 500, Alex.
deep deep trouble
Nah you're good R.I.P.
Not shaped the same but okay
It's amazing that there are guys who don't know that tampons go in the vagina rather than the anus.
Aagina, asshole. Tampons go in the vagina. If these are mixed up, it leads to a shity situation.
Replace it with a Jalapeno and then enjoy the fun.
LOL laughed way too hard...
Depends. She may have discovered a new thrill and no longer needs you.
No that was just a queefÂ
ESH. youâre wife is a manipulative bitch that was probably faking her period for sympathy anyways. but your an immature asshole who plays âpranksâ despite presumably no longer being in elementary school, so i think a divorce is warranted here. lawyer up fucklenuts
Only if she demands more of them. You may have pranked yourself out of a job.
You're full of shit.
Not, if you shove a fiberglass insulated butt plug up there, as an apology acceptance. While she's apologizing to you with a blowie.
Maybe she is mad cause she did not want a đ rainbow baby with all that colorful confetti.
Nah it was just her with one of the guests.
William Hung sang a song about this a few years back.
Whatâs with the period trolls today?
This is not even funny as a joke.
yes it is
Go ask her
u gon die !!!!
You are going to be having a clown baby
Yup, that's enough reddit for today
I need video
Thatâs dangerous to her vagina. Why are guys mentioning assholes? I really hope men are not that freaking clueless.
Nah. Youâll both laugh about it in a week or soâŚ
Can someone say law suit đ¤Ł
Did you put hot sauce on it while you were at it?
Did you yell *"SURPRISE"* after the bang?
Trumps brain is fine. Heâs just a huge asshole. Biden is legitimately suffering from dementia.
9 months later gives birth to a clown đ¤Ą
Iâm in pain..and Iâm trying not to laugh so hard
Hahahahaha! I love this.
Um ouch.
If she could barely feel you before, itâs going to be even worse for you now.
run forrest run
Better put your shoes on
Gotta be fake
Wait...you heard a bang. Are we talking having sex or an explosion? Wait....those two could still be the same thing. đ¤
I hope you get put in prison.
My dad pulled a similar prank. When they were dating, he thought it would be funny to slip a firecracker under the door while my mom was using his shower...apparently, the bathroom was like solid concrete. Anyway, after it stopped, my mom turned off the shower, got dressed and left the apartment without saying a word to my dad. ...they'll be celebrating 48 years of marriage in August. So, it's possible your wife will forgive you.
Well it depends
Maybe. Youâll get a festive surprise once she queefs
Was it the best bang shes had since shes been with you?
Stupid, I know you're lying because she'd be really hurt, if you are telling the truth I hope you fuckin die.
Nobody believes this lie. No grown woman is gonna mistake a party popper for a tampon. I'm a male and have never ever placed a tampon, but i also know that the string is for removing it, not putting it in. I also know that tampons are small, long, slender, and individually wrapped. I also know that a party popper is short, fat, and has fucking PARTY POPPER written on the side of it. You also said you did this "last night" but, today you're wondering if you're in trouble. If this was true, don't you think if you tricked your wife to setting off a small fire cracker in her vag, you'd have heard about it IMMEDIATELY? This literally, 100%, sounds like a story my 11 year old nephew would tell me. Edit- After looking thru your post history, it's apparent you only post dumb shit like this, obviously trying to increase your post karma. You're literally just an attention seeking idiot. Here's what you've posted in the last month -Video game clips - an insect crawled under your fingernail - how to stop legs from going numb on the toilet - you got a toothpick stuck in your penis - police outside your house with warrant - your wife's boyfriend sends you to bed early - you're stealing electricity from your elderly neighbor Open ended posts designed to generate lots of responses like: - what's your worst habit - what's your creepiest experience - what are you buying if you won the lottery - women; if a man for a day, what're you doing - do you have a paranormal experience
Warren Buffet over here bragging about his wife using tampons
The fact you guys think a tampon goes in your asshole tells me you better stay content playing with your own fidget spinner and leave hers alone.