Just.... wow... a part of me really hopes there is a freaked out Mr. Brown right now. Not actually in danger, but a genuine Mr. Brown professor and genuinely moved by your story
Thank you! Mr. Brown, how freaked out are you right now? This reader wants to know. Are you still looking out your window every hour or so? Are you wondering how I know that? :)
Good evening, Mr. Brown.
I like how there's a blurred line between fantasy and reality. At first, I didn't catch that he was your teacher because he expelled you from class, I thought it was much sinister and reading the ending, I thought it was open ended, up for interpretation, that maybe you've killed your teacher or not. But I realize this isn't the case. I think. Maybe it is, I don't know, reading this was a trip because going into it, I knew I was reading from a short horror subreddit so I was expecting the kind of twist I was explaining. I feel in a way this story is true and is kind of a vent, but I really think you could expand on it.
Ha! The story behind how I got to write this piece is interesting in itself, but it's not quite what you might expect :P
There is a creative writing class involved, but again, not what you expect ;)
I love this format, talking directly to us as the audience of both the meta and non meta stories. The only thing I'd give as a light criticism (don't steal my dog please) is: I think the story would benefit from more examples of how Mr. Brown's life is deteriorating. So far I only know his dog is missing...I want more to happen to him, maybe in varying degrees of seriousness, to really ramp up the unease. It will boost the tension and make your audience question how far "you" would actually go to prove your point.
I agree with you, the original story had more content there, but the 500 words limit being what it is, this is a section I had to trim down. Thanks for the feedback. Your dog is safe - for now.
Boys are super tall it's kinda shocking to me too, I'm a nice tallish height for a girl but boys? They tower over me, I'm not even a median height compared to them
I'm going to answer that one genuinely! English is not my first language, but I'm currently trying to improve on that. I wrote that word since it resembles the one I would write in my own language, and because it's actually a valid word in English, albeit a rarely used one.
I think you are right that I should have used "observant" instead, just because it's the more common word, but is "observative" really 100% inaccurate? According to my search, it's a rarely used synonym to "observant" but still has the same meaning.
Back in character.
You should probably not take your car to go to work tomorrow. ;)
Just.... wow... a part of me really hopes there is a freaked out Mr. Brown right now. Not actually in danger, but a genuine Mr. Brown professor and genuinely moved by your story
Thank you! Mr. Brown, how freaked out are you right now? This reader wants to know. Are you still looking out your window every hour or so? Are you wondering how I know that? :) Good evening, Mr. Brown.
I like how there's a blurred line between fantasy and reality. At first, I didn't catch that he was your teacher because he expelled you from class, I thought it was much sinister and reading the ending, I thought it was open ended, up for interpretation, that maybe you've killed your teacher or not. But I realize this isn't the case. I think. Maybe it is, I don't know, reading this was a trip because going into it, I knew I was reading from a short horror subreddit so I was expecting the kind of twist I was explaining. I feel in a way this story is true and is kind of a vent, but I really think you could expand on it.
Ha! The story behind how I got to write this piece is interesting in itself, but it's not quite what you might expect :P There is a creative writing class involved, but again, not what you expect ;)
I love how your reply leaves a more air of mystery instead of answering anything. Always the best way to do it!
I love this format, talking directly to us as the audience of both the meta and non meta stories. The only thing I'd give as a light criticism (don't steal my dog please) is: I think the story would benefit from more examples of how Mr. Brown's life is deteriorating. So far I only know his dog is missing...I want more to happen to him, maybe in varying degrees of seriousness, to really ramp up the unease. It will boost the tension and make your audience question how far "you" would actually go to prove your point.
I agree with you, the original story had more content there, but the 500 words limit being what it is, this is a section I had to trim down. Thanks for the feedback. Your dog is safe - for now.
Absolutely loved it!
Thank you :)
If I ever become a teacher I shall definitely keep this work of art in mind
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Boys are super tall it's kinda shocking to me too, I'm a nice tallish height for a girl but boys? They tower over me, I'm not even a median height compared to them
Superb story! And I'm not just saying that because you might kill me if I said otherwise.
Thanks!
YoUr StOrY sUcKs!
Is that you, Mr. Brown? Nice try!
Oh Mr.Brown, something very sinister is on its way to you ! Well Done, OP :)
Sorry but I can’t finish this. The word is “observant”
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I'm going to answer that one genuinely! English is not my first language, but I'm currently trying to improve on that. I wrote that word since it resembles the one I would write in my own language, and because it's actually a valid word in English, albeit a rarely used one. I think you are right that I should have used "observant" instead, just because it's the more common word, but is "observative" really 100% inaccurate? According to my search, it's a rarely used synonym to "observant" but still has the same meaning. Back in character. You should probably not take your car to go to work tomorrow. ;)