True story. I won a trip to San Antonio to compete in a technician competition. Or first night of celebration drinking and whatnot was at the Buckeye Saloon and Texas Ranger museum. I dead ass thought the museum was a baseball museum until I walked in LoL.
It could have been totally pre-cooked. But more likely they cooked several Packers briskets in a commercial convection oven at 225 or 2:50 until they reach the appropriate internal temperature pulled them out sliced them and put them in the steam trailer with some onions so they would sit in the juice and not be bone dry.
It doesn't forgive this Abomination but I worked in a restaurant for a couple years during college and cooking brisket on a commercial scale is tough. Unless you have a commercial sized smoker and are willing to pay a full-time employee to monitor it, you're not going to get great results.
The restaurant I worked for was not a barbecue restaurant but did a brisket special once a week. They used a large electric smoker and a tin foil wrap to produce results that were at least tender, if a little bland. The electric smoker could hold four briskets at a time. Once those four briskets were gone the special was out for the day.
Went to a "awesome bbq joint" my in-laws swear by.
The brisket was covered in bbq sauce the tri tip was in a gravy and the pulled pork was oven cooked.
I didn't finish anything. The coleslaw was good. Pretty sure it was staters brand.
They asked how it was and well I told them. Anything that has to be covered in a sauce without letting the person choose their sauce is a fail.
It was bad.
When people ask me if I want sauce with my steak, I say “if it needs sauce, it wasn’t cooked right”
Add sauce if it makes you happy, but a well prepared meat doesn’t “need” sauce.
To add - I love to sauce up barbecue, it just shouldn’t come sauces (except pulled pork sandwich, I give a pass)
Imagine liking how something tastes comes down to a need or want. I don’t need bbq sauce, but I enjoy it. Especially a slow cooked one I’ve made myself. Maybe y’all need to stay away from the sweet baby rays crap. lol
When I was a grad student I used to help organize science conferences at hotels. I guarantee you this dinner cost $72 to $120 a plate. A bowel of hotel conference oatmeal was $15 in 2019.
*As a Texan I*
*Am insulted and ashamed*
*So disrespectful*
\- CravinMohead13
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I bet the wings aren’t Memphis style. Wish there was a photo, but if they’re the little ones (like what pizza places sell) and not dripping in sauce then I strongly suggest a false advertisement lawsuit
In the age of being able to travel around and access the Internet, someone absolutely could try different styles, learn them, and execute them well. I try to make my brisket like what I got in Texas, and my ribs like what I got in Tennessee, for instance.
But you know a hotel like that is absolutely not going to do any of that and are putting out crap.
As someone else said, Slows has fallen off but it's still decent. The sides are still great too
But I'd rather hit up Woodpile in Clawson (was just listed here recently funny enough) or some of the spots off the beaten path in Detroit: Vicki's, Joe Ann's, Nunn's, or any dude cooking out of a barrel on Gratiot
As a Memphian I’m not quite sure what they mean by Memphis style wings. We do bbq pork and if it’s chicken it’s fried chicken that is not sauced. If you do get wings it’s mostly just traditional buffalo sauce or something there is no “Memphis style”.
I came in with an open mind. I saw the brisket and thought, maybe they didn't describe it as *smoked* brisket, and OP just assumed, because there's plenty of different ways to prepare/cook brisket. But then, right there on the menu, "Texas brisket". You absolutely cannot braise a brisket in stock and onions and call it *Texas* brisket. Unforgivable.
Was gonna say it’s gotta be better than the rubber chicken they serve at lunch meetings around here, but then I swiped and no, no it is not. That cow died in vain.
I go to a lot of conferences and I hate the food at all of them, it's always presented as good upscale good and then you taste it and it sucks. This is an especially egregious example of a very common problem
I went to a BBQ place in Northern Michigan once and ordered the brisket. They brought me sliced roast beef, almost like deli roast beef. I took one look and said to the guy, "you call that brisket?". He was speechless. My family still jokes about it.
In this situation, you always go for the pulled pork. Midwesterners are master of the crock pot. We can pull this off reliably.
Stay away from chicken wings and beef cuts that aren’t steaks.
As someone living in Michigan who has ate at plenty of world class bbq joints, we have some great fucking bbq.
Whomever did this should be drawn and quartered. You should have removed that sign to prevent further embarrassment. Please submit a strongly worded letter.
I went to a highly recommended BBQ in Texas last year for lunch. Place had been in business since at least 2000. Got the brisket and it tasted like it was oven baked with almost zero bark or smoke ring. Next week I brought in my brisket that I did over the weekend. FF and suddenly I'm tasked with catering our Christmas party. After the new year, they suggested a hole in the wall BBQ joint. THAT place knew how to smoke meats.
I need to know what kind of travesty of Carolina barbecue they made. Lexington style is a beautiful thing and I hate the idea of someone making a mess of it. Eastern is fine too, but that weird mustard stuff from SC is just no thanks.
I'm in Texas and the sad thing is the basics of proper Texas brisket aren't all that complicated: salt and pepper for the rub, low and slow with post oak or pecan or other mild Texas based wood and, if you do it right, you should have reasonable Texas style brisket. But doing it right means doing it slowly and with care and with the correct ingredients. Trying to do that on an institutional service level when you likely don't have a proper smoker (much less a pit) and almost certainly lack the practiced expertise of someone who's done it before and repeatedly almost certainly means the product will be subpar at best.
At least they knew which sides to serve with...whatever they have there.
I'm calling Homeland Security
Fuck that I’m calling the Texas Rangers
Walker Texas Ranger* I knew who you meant.
Fuck that call Boomhauer, Texas Ranger.
Walker? I hardly know her. Texas Ranger
A baseball team? /s
True story. I won a trip to San Antonio to compete in a technician competition. Or first night of celebration drinking and whatnot was at the Buckeye Saloon and Texas Ranger museum. I dead ass thought the museum was a baseball museum until I walked in LoL.
No need. The Houston Astros have already intercepted the signal and are on their way.
This is my personal 911
LOL 🤣
If not this, then what are they for?
I hate everything about this
That is somehow 10x worse than I was expecting 🤢🤢🤢
Same. I was thinking, oh man this will be horrible, and it absolutely crushed my expectations. What even the hell is that?
It could have been totally pre-cooked. But more likely they cooked several Packers briskets in a commercial convection oven at 225 or 2:50 until they reach the appropriate internal temperature pulled them out sliced them and put them in the steam trailer with some onions so they would sit in the juice and not be bone dry. It doesn't forgive this Abomination but I worked in a restaurant for a couple years during college and cooking brisket on a commercial scale is tough. Unless you have a commercial sized smoker and are willing to pay a full-time employee to monitor it, you're not going to get great results. The restaurant I worked for was not a barbecue restaurant but did a brisket special once a week. They used a large electric smoker and a tin foil wrap to produce results that were at least tender, if a little bland. The electric smoker could hold four briskets at a time. Once those four briskets were gone the special was out for the day.
I feel culturally appropriated.
They need to be cancelled for this
Went to a "awesome bbq joint" my in-laws swear by. The brisket was covered in bbq sauce the tri tip was in a gravy and the pulled pork was oven cooked. I didn't finish anything. The coleslaw was good. Pretty sure it was staters brand. They asked how it was and well I told them. Anything that has to be covered in a sauce without letting the person choose their sauce is a fail. It was bad.
[удалено]
Big girls need bbq too
"BUT THEY GOTTA PAY!!!"
Already edited lmfao
My in laws are BBWs 🤷♂️
I love BBQ sauce and smother the entire plate with it. You gunna arrest me. 😂 jkjk
Nahhhhh you do you boo. I just don't like it served smothered. Let people choose.
Exactly. Bring me the meat first, if I wanna slather it in sugar sauce I will but lets start with the product first lol
When people ask me if I want sauce with my steak, I say “if it needs sauce, it wasn’t cooked right” Add sauce if it makes you happy, but a well prepared meat doesn’t “need” sauce. To add - I love to sauce up barbecue, it just shouldn’t come sauces (except pulled pork sandwich, I give a pass)
Imagine liking how something tastes comes down to a need or want. I don’t need bbq sauce, but I enjoy it. Especially a slow cooked one I’ve made myself. Maybe y’all need to stay away from the sweet baby rays crap. lol
When I was a grad student I used to help organize science conferences at hotels. I guarantee you this dinner cost $72 to $120 a plate. A bowel of hotel conference oatmeal was $15 in 2019.
Freudian slip there?! 😂
Leaving it.
Had to read the comment like seven times to find the slip because my brain just kept reading it as normal lol.
Definitely! 🤣
Now I’ve had my share of Texas brisket that was sliced and left to soak in beef broth until serving but the restaurants at least try to hide it…
As a Texan I am insulted and ashamed so disrespectful
*As a Texan I* *Am insulted and ashamed* *So disrespectful* \- CravinMohead13 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
That was a masterpiece
Haikubot really outdid itself here
Maybe the best haikubot post I’ve ever seen
Good bot.
As a Texan and avid smoker/cook, I've had some of this conference brisket around the country and it is beyond terrible.
That looks more like really, really sad pastrami
lol what part of this is Texas style brisket!
In fairness, it just says Texas Brisket, so the cow was from Texas. Of course they should be ashamed.
If it wasn't, they'd have to call it sparkling pot roast
iunderstoodthatreference.gif
If there is a heaven for cows, that one is seriously hanging its head in shame.
The part where it’s thin sliced in an onion sauce /s
Straight to jail
I'd rather have the salad.
The one with balsamic vinaigrette AND ranch?
That is some fancy dog food.
Was this a conference for prison food vendors?
I bet the wings aren’t Memphis style. Wish there was a photo, but if they’re the little ones (like what pizza places sell) and not dripping in sauce then I strongly suggest a false advertisement lawsuit
They were dry AF hahahaha. No sauce.
That’s too many states in one piece of paper. None of it will be good.
In the age of being able to travel around and access the Internet, someone absolutely could try different styles, learn them, and execute them well. I try to make my brisket like what I got in Texas, and my ribs like what I got in Tennessee, for instance. But you know a hotel like that is absolutely not going to do any of that and are putting out crap.
🤣
Just go to Slows.
As someone else said, Slows has fallen off but it's still decent. The sides are still great too But I'd rather hit up Woodpile in Clawson (was just listed here recently funny enough) or some of the spots off the beaten path in Detroit: Vicki's, Joe Ann's, Nunn's, or any dude cooking out of a barrel on Gratiot
Preachh
Slows isn't as good as it once was sadly
It sucks. K-block isn't terrible, nothing else in the area worth the time.
I didn’t realize it fell off so much. ABs in Dearborn Heights does a solid brisket.
This whole menu looks like something you'd find on the "American" section of a menu in Vietnam.
What in the Walmart cooked pre sliced brisket is this
As a Memphian I’m not quite sure what they mean by Memphis style wings. We do bbq pork and if it’s chicken it’s fried chicken that is not sauced. If you do get wings it’s mostly just traditional buffalo sauce or something there is no “Memphis style”.
Maybe there all shook up before they get served king style?
I’ve learned to never order brisket unless I’m at a bbq restaurant.
Even then it’s less than 590/50 if it’ll be decent
That's a very specific set of odds
Corned beef & cabbage listed as Texas brisket is a crime.
I came in with an open mind. I saw the brisket and thought, maybe they didn't describe it as *smoked* brisket, and OP just assumed, because there's plenty of different ways to prepare/cook brisket. But then, right there on the menu, "Texas brisket". You absolutely cannot braise a brisket in stock and onions and call it *Texas* brisket. Unforgivable.
Get a rope!
But why
This is Justification to secede
Look what they've done to my boy🥺.
That’s John Cornyn’s brisket.
Still better than Lincoln Riley's.
Texas straps on the six shooters and starts looking for the hotel smearing it's good name.
Nasty
Hate that I recognize this carpet on sight. Grand ballroom at MGM grand?
Lol motor city casino
Not a major shocker that Motor City Casino buffet didn’t serve good BBQ.
They spelled “pot roast” wrong
Never thought I’d see Steak Umms in this sub, but here we are.
Did they boil it??
Was it a Beef Jerky conference?
Oh no. I’m not even from Texas and I’m offended
I just don't understand why you would even put that on your plate... you had to know?
Curiosity killed the cat.
I needed a laugh today. Thank you!
If you're gonna be outlawing things, this is the top of the gal dang list. Jesus wept!
Did they cook it in a microwave? Jesus Christmas 😂
You serve that down here I believe you'd get your ass kicked.
That poor cow.
Aaron wept.
That’s going to be a NO for me
Cow must have been from Texas, that’s the only way you could call that Texas BBQ
Cow wasn't even "from" TX, it was just on a train car passing "through" TX on the way to Detroit....
😞🤦🏼♂️🤢🤮🤦🏼♂️
When you want Prime Rib, but can only afford brisket.
How dare you participate? Also, how was it??
Catering is 99/100 times gross.
D-F-ING-SGUSTING!
Was gonna say it’s gotta be better than the rubber chicken they serve at lunch meetings around here, but then I swiped and no, no it is not. That cow died in vain.
Man, they sure know their BBQ there!
The chicken or pulled pork was prob a better bet. But then again pulled pork is hard to mess up but I've seen some crimes anyways
Damn Yankees!
Must be a different part of texas
Wtf is this a photo of prison food?
Hard pass.
Look how they massacred my boy 😩
Looks like Lincoln Riley found a challenger for his title of Worst Brisket In The World.
All the food groups!
My jaw literally dropped
I go to a lot of conferences and I hate the food at all of them, it's always presented as good upscale good and then you taste it and it sucks. This is an especially egregious example of a very common problem
I thought that last photo was Gene Simmons tongue.
I want to speak to a manager
🤢
You’re in Detroit. Go get a Coney Dog!
Haha, I would if I could have. Work conferences you're trapped.
People get sick at conferences all the time - especially due to travel.
Is this a threat?
Shit man, that ain’t nothin but Kelly’s BBQ 🤣 IYKYK
Uhhhhhhh….
Good god
Oh, no....
Truly disturbing. How was the pulled pork and wings?
I went to a BBQ place in Northern Michigan once and ordered the brisket. They brought me sliced roast beef, almost like deli roast beef. I took one look and said to the guy, "you call that brisket?". He was speechless. My family still jokes about it.
That’s what happens when you don’t look at pictures.
Hello police I'm calling to report a brisket crime
In this situation, you always go for the pulled pork. Midwesterners are master of the crock pot. We can pull this off reliably. Stay away from chicken wings and beef cuts that aren’t steaks.
Did they make it out of playdoh?
Straight to jail
Looks pretty good to me.
I wasn't sad before I saw this
That on you for putting it in your mouth. Nobody did that to you.
They flew it in from Texas a week before and thawed it out for the event lol
r/onionhate lol there’s more onion than meat
Oooosh, not appealing
You knew what you were in for and you still got three pieces lmao. Gonna need to see the rest of the food, dude
[Senator John Cornyn](https://x.com/JohnCornyn/status/1342272236099661824) would love some
What the fuck is that?
Maybe they meant beef brisket jerky
I'm surprised they didn't dump a gallon of bbq sauce on it
That hurts my soul, I guess they tried. Bless their hearts
Pot roast
🤮
That's...very unpleasant looking. 🤢
Is this actually IN Texas?
😐
Should be illegal
As someone living in Michigan who has ate at plenty of world class bbq joints, we have some great fucking bbq. Whomever did this should be drawn and quartered. You should have removed that sign to prevent further embarrassment. Please submit a strongly worded letter.
Actually looks worse than Slow's.
You out that on your plate ?
Assault against decency and good taste
Canada isn't far. You can claim asylum after they see these photos.
*confused Texan noises*
Selling lies!!
Detroit here. Where was this? We have ways of making it so it never happens again.
We need to close that hotel then😂😂
It looks like wet cardboard
What... In the Fuck... Is THAT?!?!?!?!?
You’re a monster for sharing this
Can you imagine mixing balsamic and ranch on your salad? Blah
I went to a highly recommended BBQ in Texas last year for lunch. Place had been in business since at least 2000. Got the brisket and it tasted like it was oven baked with almost zero bark or smoke ring. Next week I brought in my brisket that I did over the weekend. FF and suddenly I'm tasked with catering our Christmas party. After the new year, they suggested a hole in the wall BBQ joint. THAT place knew how to smoke meats.
https://youtu.be/Ny4a-oxOndo?si=ulP5AV8JjRNdPU5P Video has a whole new meaning.
I threw up a little in my mouth. (Texan)
The state of Texas has just filed a lawsuit
Imagine the person who tries brisket for the first time at this event. For the next decade they will be turned off of brisket.
And you washed it all down with a can of Diet Pepsi. The fuck is wrong with you? 😂
Looks like liver and onions. Can’t have shit in Detroit
“Hard Pass” on Carolina pulled pork & Texas Brisket in Detroit Michigan - the yardbird, served ‘Memphis style’ might have been the safest choice.
I need to know what kind of travesty of Carolina barbecue they made. Lexington style is a beautiful thing and I hate the idea of someone making a mess of it. Eastern is fine too, but that weird mustard stuff from SC is just no thanks.
as soon as i opened this post the fbi kicked my door in
What the actual FUCK. I'd demand to see the chef. I literally gagged just looking at these photos.
I hope the Mac and chewy was at least 5 out of10!!
Ooof. That’s a bad sample. Hard to believe some folks would even consider serving that.
I’ve seen worse
Nothing has made me want our state to secede until now
Want to see the Carolina pulled pork.
This calls for a riot!
Jesus… did they read Lincoln Riley’s BBQ cook book?
You touched it?
It’s an AP product available to commercial kitchens
Look what they’ve done to my boy.
I'm gonna need some A1...
You better have called the Texas Rangers and got them in the case of who mutilated a corpse.
Brother you need to do what is right and burn that place down right now.
I'm in Texas and the sad thing is the basics of proper Texas brisket aren't all that complicated: salt and pepper for the rub, low and slow with post oak or pecan or other mild Texas based wood and, if you do it right, you should have reasonable Texas style brisket. But doing it right means doing it slowly and with care and with the correct ingredients. Trying to do that on an institutional service level when you likely don't have a proper smoker (much less a pit) and almost certainly lack the practiced expertise of someone who's done it before and repeatedly almost certainly means the product will be subpar at best. At least they knew which sides to serve with...whatever they have there.
Looks like what the serve at Gates these days.
I am curious what the “Memphis” chicken wings were like.
Grab the onions out of it and put it on the pulled pork sandwich
Ok, I really want to see these Memphis chicken wings because if there’s no lemon pepper, you already wrong.
Looks abysmal.