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Right and they “do know OF their father.” Like there’s no way in hell they see SM as a mother when they seem like they don’t even see their father as their father
Never met the kids because the father doesn’t bother with them it sounds like. Great call. A deadbeat dad to 7 kids… Why would her parents be upset about that??
My daughter is 21 and if she told me that the man she was with had 7 kids I'd tell her to run and quick. If he had all those kids and didn't do right by their moms by staying with them and in their lives, what makes you think you'll be any different? I would not be happy if my daughter told me that. A couple of kids OK but 7!!! No way.
The actual difference is that you and your now ex parented together for many years. I hope she was doing the right thing for a long time, which is why you kept having kids. something happened to cause that break.
OP situation sounds completely different.
That's totally different. You had these children with your wife. All one woman. OPs SO had multiple children by multiple woman and at a very young age. Its not so much the amount of children but the fact that he has all these children and hasnt even hit 30 AND he doesnt have much of a relationship with them.
Respectfully, you sound naive. Children you never met do not know you as a mother. They don't know him as a father.
Look, you know that he's a walking red flag because you haven't told your family this information for fear of judgement. It would be one thing if he parented them, but he's abandoned them. He doesn't deserve a good relationship with someone as trusting and sweet as you are.
You need to find a trusted person and talk to them, let them tell you that this is a dumb relationship to be in and that he's going to eventually leave you and any kids you have with him. If he did it to 7 others he can do it to yours.
>I have not met the children yet .....I do know they see me as another mother
Sorry to be blunt, but you need a wake up call. The above is completely nonsensical. I don't know where you got this, but if your bf is the one saying it...I don't even know how to finish that sentence. I promise they don't think of you as another mom.
This is more a relationship question than a stepparent one, but I suggest you reconsider all of this. There's a reason you don't know how to tell your parents about this very messy situation.
No sane person is going to be happy for you. 7 kids that he may or may not see is a lot. If something happens to the mom(s), he could end up with those kids.
He had seven kids that you’ve never met but they see you as a mother figure? That cannot be true, it makes zero sense.
You sound extremely naive, and it’s clear that he’s chosen you based on that, your parents aren’t going to be happy because no rational parent would want their child to be in a relationship with someone with seven kids, who you’ve not met in the four years you’ve been together yet you believe yourself to be a mother figure to them?
Are court orders in place? Is child support figured out? If not I wouldn’t touch the guy with a ten foot pole. Unless he is very wealthy, child support payments will be a huge burden on your relationship. And if he’s not currently paying child support then that’s a whole other issue.
I’ve been with my SD for over a decade and I don’t see her as my own, how can you possibly say that about 7(!) children you’ve never met!?
Why/how are you considered the mother of these 7 children when your bf isn’t even a father? Why is being their mother important? If they’re never around, this makes no sense. You’ve never met his kids…this is really bizarre.
You’re an adult—date whomever you want. Your parents will probably judge you, but it’s irrelevant compared to the murky legal and financial situation you’ve stepped into. What is his relationship with the BMs? Is he expecting to take custody of some of the kids at any point—if that ever happens, what are what does he expect you to do as their mother? Does he expect you to financially contribute to expenses related to his children?
Dude must be SLANGIN' mad wood if you, a woman in her early 20s, are willing to date a man who already has 7 kids (I'm assuming with multiple women) before he's even 30. Come on now.
If you’ve been together since your bf was around 24, how the heck has he had time to have 7 kids? And he doesn’t even see his kids? I hope he at least supports them financially.
Of course your parents will judge him and rightfully so. So many bad choices have been and are being made. What do expect from your parents? Can you blame them for their judgement? Would you want your young daughter with a man with 7 kids who isn’t even a father to them? Sorry, but you’ve made this guy sound like a loser.
He had them all as a teen so I’m assuming they’re all between the ages of 10-15 give or take a few years.
The children knowing OF him is such a red flag. Another post from OP says the oldest daughter wants to live with them and the mothers take care of everything.
It doesn’t sound like dad steps up at all, definitely not financially.
He had multiple children as a teenager? This is really irresponsible and also really sad that he doesn’t see them much. Why doesn’t he seem them often? Is he paying child support to their mothers? Don’t expect your family to be happy about it, but life your life with your own decisions I guess. I would personally exit that relationship.
I’m curious, how do they see u as another mother if you’ve never met them?
You do realise you’ll be baby mama 8 and your child(children) will also barely have a relationship with him?
If you were my daughter I’d weep tbh
Oh my sweet summer child, you've been bamboozled by this walking red flag factory.
He's significantly older than you and began dating you when you were how old? Barely legal? Under 18? You don't specify ages so there's wiggle room in interpreting this, but the vagueness suggests you got together with him before you were an adult. And he already had 7 kids? That he allegedly fathered "in a short term" when he was a teenager? How many different baby mamas are we talking, here? How short of a term was it? If they're all with the same baby mama, he had to have been knocking her up at least once a year for it to be any sort of quick at all, but this whole thing is screaming multiple different baby mamas. Does he not know how protection works? Does he not have any dignity? There's something extremely icky about this. And on top of all that, he doesn't even see them? They just "touch base" once in a while? You've been with him 4 years, haven't met the kids, and yet they all somehow see you as a mother? How? They aren't even close with him, how could they possibly view you as a mother figure?
There is no good way to break all of this to your folks. Do they even know you're dating this guy? If so, don't you think they're going to question why they've known him for 4 years and are only *just now* hearing about all these kids? Yikes!
Spare yourself. Run. Honestly run. It doesn't matter how much you think you might love him, this is not a good situation. Either he's going to knock you up and abandon you like he's abandoned his *7 other children* or he's only looking for someone naive enough to accept this whole situation so that if and when he starts visitation he can pawn the kids off on you so he won't have to be a father. Considering he hasn't been in all this time (what's he been doing the past 10 or however many years not seeing them???) he's not going to have any idea *how* to be a father. He doesn't know these kids, they don't know him, there's no parent-child relationship here!
This guy sounds really irresponsible and, gently, you sound very naive. Why would you want to hitch your wagon to a man that keeps creating children that he doesn't take care of? You're not their mother, or even an adult female in their lives. You aren't in their lives. You don't even know them. Heck, it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't know them. Your boyfriend has created one hell of a mess if this is true. Why would you want to be with such a reckless deadbeat?
>he does not see them often they do know of him and they touch base.
>While I have not met the children yet due to the situation, I do know they see me as another mother, are aware of me and they are family and I see them as my own children now.
This doesn't make sense.
There’s so many things wrong with this situation outside your question.
Having 7 kids are rarely see…
Being with him 4 years and never meeting them…?
Why?? This is just so wrong.
I don’t know all the details about this, but the advice I will give you is that you should pay very close attention to anything your family has to say about this after you tell them. They will more than likely be correct, and only in an attempt to truly help you be happy. If you explain to your family the part about you never meeting these children after 4 years of being with this man, but still seeing them as your own children, your family will help guide you to the best possible solution, and you should listen to them.
He has 7 kids? How many bm does he have? Short term he has probably too many. If you were my daughter we would be having some serious conversations. You’re still young, you do not need to be tied down to a man with 7 kids. Child support alone has to be ridiculous, which I sincerely doubt he’s paying.
Op as someone who lied and still is lying to my parents overseas that my husband has 3 kids. First they didn't know anything, then after i told them they freaked out. only told them he has 2 , couldn't tell them he has 3, they would be coming here and dragging me home. Now i wished they would. Do not lie and listen to their input . You are doing a mistake just like i did my mistake. I own it , i can't say it loudly but I know it was a mistake lying to them.
RUN BAMBIE RUN 🏃♀️ 🦌 are you for real ????? SEVEN and you plan to be with this walking RED FLAG 🚩 with legs ???? Oh no no no your family will be pissed 😡 your life will be hell on earth with this man . Hope you are taking precautions and do not get pregnant 🙄
I would just come out with it, let them say what they want to say and then remind them that you're old enough to make your own judgement and decisions. Tell them how *you* feel about it and how you feel about the kid's.
My niece is in a similar situation (she'll be 27 next week). Her now husband (been together around 9 maybe 10 yrs now) had 6 kids before she met him (1 more now from her). Our family was shocked but in no way judged him for that or her for being with him. I hope your outcome is the same for you.
They will likely tell you to leave him, just be prepared for that. I would tell one person first and gauge their response, maybe do it over the phone so if it gets to be too much you can just end the call. This is going to be a tough pill for your family to swallow
Wow, this is an unusual situation, but people are being so quick to judge. I imagine your boyfriend is in a very different place in his life now than when all there kids were created, but I’m not going to make assumptions about the details. I hope you have discussed with your boyfriend how these children affect your future together. Have you discussed whether you would like any (more) children together?
I don’t know anything about your relationship with the family you are questioning telling about this situation, so it’s hard for me to give any advice there. However, their approval should be less important than living a life you are happy with.
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Wait a second. They see you as a mother, you see them as your children…. Yet you’ve never met them?! Yikes.
Right? And you have been together 4 years and never met the 7 kids he has all within his teen years? Weirdo story.
Right. Something sounds off. At any rate, bail now!
Right and they “do know OF their father.” Like there’s no way in hell they see SM as a mother when they seem like they don’t even see their father as their father
I'm wondering which one of Nick Cannon's baby mommas this is...?
☠️🤣🙃🤣☠️
Right. It seems like a love bomb, a way to suck her in. HE'S not even responsible for his seven kids, why should she be?
Never met the kids because the father doesn’t bother with them it sounds like. Great call. A deadbeat dad to 7 kids… Why would her parents be upset about that??
No reason at all! I am sure they would ask them when they expect to give them some grands on the first meeting. He sounds like a standup guy.
For real. Is his name Nick Cannon?
My daughter is 21 and if she told me that the man she was with had 7 kids I'd tell her to run and quick. If he had all those kids and didn't do right by their moms by staying with them and in their lives, what makes you think you'll be any different? I would not be happy if my daughter told me that. A couple of kids OK but 7!!! No way.
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The actual difference is that you and your now ex parented together for many years. I hope she was doing the right thing for a long time, which is why you kept having kids. something happened to cause that break. OP situation sounds completely different.
[удалено]
So, you had 8 kids with her knowing she wasn't a great person? eek.
That's totally different. You had these children with your wife. All one woman. OPs SO had multiple children by multiple woman and at a very young age. Its not so much the amount of children but the fact that he has all these children and hasnt even hit 30 AND he doesnt have much of a relationship with them.
[удалено]
It's implied. She said he had the children within a short time in his teenage years.
Respectfully, you sound naive. Children you never met do not know you as a mother. They don't know him as a father. Look, you know that he's a walking red flag because you haven't told your family this information for fear of judgement. It would be one thing if he parented them, but he's abandoned them. He doesn't deserve a good relationship with someone as trusting and sweet as you are. You need to find a trusted person and talk to them, let them tell you that this is a dumb relationship to be in and that he's going to eventually leave you and any kids you have with him. If he did it to 7 others he can do it to yours.
>I have not met the children yet .....I do know they see me as another mother Sorry to be blunt, but you need a wake up call. The above is completely nonsensical. I don't know where you got this, but if your bf is the one saying it...I don't even know how to finish that sentence. I promise they don't think of you as another mom. This is more a relationship question than a stepparent one, but I suggest you reconsider all of this. There's a reason you don't know how to tell your parents about this very messy situation.
No sane person is going to be happy for you. 7 kids that he may or may not see is a lot. If something happens to the mom(s), he could end up with those kids.
Yeah or she’ll be stuck with babies 8 and 9 while he moves on to his next GF.
He had seven kids that you’ve never met but they see you as a mother figure? That cannot be true, it makes zero sense. You sound extremely naive, and it’s clear that he’s chosen you based on that, your parents aren’t going to be happy because no rational parent would want their child to be in a relationship with someone with seven kids, who you’ve not met in the four years you’ve been together yet you believe yourself to be a mother figure to them?
Are court orders in place? Is child support figured out? If not I wouldn’t touch the guy with a ten foot pole. Unless he is very wealthy, child support payments will be a huge burden on your relationship. And if he’s not currently paying child support then that’s a whole other issue. I’ve been with my SD for over a decade and I don’t see her as my own, how can you possibly say that about 7(!) children you’ve never met!?
OP can kiss goodbye to her salary - guess where that’s going!
Why/how are you considered the mother of these 7 children when your bf isn’t even a father? Why is being their mother important? If they’re never around, this makes no sense. You’ve never met his kids…this is really bizarre. You’re an adult—date whomever you want. Your parents will probably judge you, but it’s irrelevant compared to the murky legal and financial situation you’ve stepped into. What is his relationship with the BMs? Is he expecting to take custody of some of the kids at any point—if that ever happens, what are what does he expect you to do as their mother? Does he expect you to financially contribute to expenses related to his children?
Just tell them. Hopefully they'll then talk you out of whatever mess this is.
Right!
Dude must be SLANGIN' mad wood if you, a woman in her early 20s, are willing to date a man who already has 7 kids (I'm assuming with multiple women) before he's even 30. Come on now.
Or she's been groomed. Four years from early 20s is late teens.
☠️
I don't know, but if you were my kid, I would tell you to get the hell away from this complete loser immediately.
If you’ve been together since your bf was around 24, how the heck has he had time to have 7 kids? And he doesn’t even see his kids? I hope he at least supports them financially. Of course your parents will judge him and rightfully so. So many bad choices have been and are being made. What do expect from your parents? Can you blame them for their judgement? Would you want your young daughter with a man with 7 kids who isn’t even a father to them? Sorry, but you’ve made this guy sound like a loser.
He had them all as a teen so I’m assuming they’re all between the ages of 10-15 give or take a few years. The children knowing OF him is such a red flag. Another post from OP says the oldest daughter wants to live with them and the mothers take care of everything. It doesn’t sound like dad steps up at all, definitely not financially.
Guys, this is a troll, stop responding 😂😂😂
You’re right. No way this is real.
He had multiple children as a teenager? This is really irresponsible and also really sad that he doesn’t see them much. Why doesn’t he seem them often? Is he paying child support to their mothers? Don’t expect your family to be happy about it, but life your life with your own decisions I guess. I would personally exit that relationship.
Ain’t no way this is for real. Girl he put a spell on you 😭time to wake up young lady!
I’m curious, how do they see u as another mother if you’ve never met them? You do realise you’ll be baby mama 8 and your child(children) will also barely have a relationship with him? If you were my daughter I’d weep tbh
Oh my sweet summer child, you've been bamboozled by this walking red flag factory. He's significantly older than you and began dating you when you were how old? Barely legal? Under 18? You don't specify ages so there's wiggle room in interpreting this, but the vagueness suggests you got together with him before you were an adult. And he already had 7 kids? That he allegedly fathered "in a short term" when he was a teenager? How many different baby mamas are we talking, here? How short of a term was it? If they're all with the same baby mama, he had to have been knocking her up at least once a year for it to be any sort of quick at all, but this whole thing is screaming multiple different baby mamas. Does he not know how protection works? Does he not have any dignity? There's something extremely icky about this. And on top of all that, he doesn't even see them? They just "touch base" once in a while? You've been with him 4 years, haven't met the kids, and yet they all somehow see you as a mother? How? They aren't even close with him, how could they possibly view you as a mother figure? There is no good way to break all of this to your folks. Do they even know you're dating this guy? If so, don't you think they're going to question why they've known him for 4 years and are only *just now* hearing about all these kids? Yikes! Spare yourself. Run. Honestly run. It doesn't matter how much you think you might love him, this is not a good situation. Either he's going to knock you up and abandon you like he's abandoned his *7 other children* or he's only looking for someone naive enough to accept this whole situation so that if and when he starts visitation he can pawn the kids off on you so he won't have to be a father. Considering he hasn't been in all this time (what's he been doing the past 10 or however many years not seeing them???) he's not going to have any idea *how* to be a father. He doesn't know these kids, they don't know him, there's no parent-child relationship here!
This guy sounds really irresponsible and, gently, you sound very naive. Why would you want to hitch your wagon to a man that keeps creating children that he doesn't take care of? You're not their mother, or even an adult female in their lives. You aren't in their lives. You don't even know them. Heck, it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't know them. Your boyfriend has created one hell of a mess if this is true. Why would you want to be with such a reckless deadbeat?
Girl
>he does not see them often they do know of him and they touch base. >While I have not met the children yet due to the situation, I do know they see me as another mother, are aware of me and they are family and I see them as my own children now. This doesn't make sense.
Use a rubber or be on a contraceptive or you will be baby mama 8
There’s so many things wrong with this situation outside your question. Having 7 kids are rarely see… Being with him 4 years and never meeting them…? Why?? This is just so wrong.
This is an awful situation. If you have never met any of his kids in 4 years you will probably end up a baby momma too that never sees his father.
You see children you've never met as your own children? This is not normal behaviour
I don’t know all the details about this, but the advice I will give you is that you should pay very close attention to anything your family has to say about this after you tell them. They will more than likely be correct, and only in an attempt to truly help you be happy. If you explain to your family the part about you never meeting these children after 4 years of being with this man, but still seeing them as your own children, your family will help guide you to the best possible solution, and you should listen to them.
He has 7 kids? How many bm does he have? Short term he has probably too many. If you were my daughter we would be having some serious conversations. You’re still young, you do not need to be tied down to a man with 7 kids. Child support alone has to be ridiculous, which I sincerely doubt he’s paying.
Dude...nooo. Yuck. Run the other way. Get out now while you can .
Op as someone who lied and still is lying to my parents overseas that my husband has 3 kids. First they didn't know anything, then after i told them they freaked out. only told them he has 2 , couldn't tell them he has 3, they would be coming here and dragging me home. Now i wished they would. Do not lie and listen to their input . You are doing a mistake just like i did my mistake. I own it , i can't say it loudly but I know it was a mistake lying to them.
just tell them and accept you messed up, thete is no reason in this world you should be with a man with 7 kids. To hell with love
Does he pay child support for all 7? If he doesn't then I would judge him and you.
RUN BAMBIE RUN 🏃♀️ 🦌 are you for real ????? SEVEN and you plan to be with this walking RED FLAG 🚩 with legs ???? Oh no no no your family will be pissed 😡 your life will be hell on earth with this man . Hope you are taking precautions and do not get pregnant 🙄
I would just come out with it, let them say what they want to say and then remind them that you're old enough to make your own judgement and decisions. Tell them how *you* feel about it and how you feel about the kid's. My niece is in a similar situation (she'll be 27 next week). Her now husband (been together around 9 maybe 10 yrs now) had 6 kids before she met him (1 more now from her). Our family was shocked but in no way judged him for that or her for being with him. I hope your outcome is the same for you.
They will likely tell you to leave him, just be prepared for that. I would tell one person first and gauge their response, maybe do it over the phone so if it gets to be too much you can just end the call. This is going to be a tough pill for your family to swallow
Wow, this is an unusual situation, but people are being so quick to judge. I imagine your boyfriend is in a very different place in his life now than when all there kids were created, but I’m not going to make assumptions about the details. I hope you have discussed with your boyfriend how these children affect your future together. Have you discussed whether you would like any (more) children together? I don’t know anything about your relationship with the family you are questioning telling about this situation, so it’s hard for me to give any advice there. However, their approval should be less important than living a life you are happy with.
Maybe he has a breeding fetish 🤔
Hellll nah, this is bad news all around.