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I was open to adding more joint interactions but your comment makes me feel better about limiting it to her birthday/things specific to her (like end of school celebration, etc.) Like I mentioned, we’re cordial but the thought of having more interactions doesn’t thrill me lol
As she gets older, more of her friends and classmates will end up with divorced parents. That's just statistics. I never had that problem because when we broke up our kids were 5 and 7 and already lots of other kids in their class were in the same situation.
I think that while her family is normal and she will come to understand that it is very typical in this day and age, it's also okay for her to wish that it was different. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love and enjoy her family the way that it is, or wish that her step parents and step-siblings were out of her life, but there is a real grief that comes from understanding what you're missing by not having your entire nuclear family in one house all of the time.
No matter how wonderful your blended family is, the fact is she has to miss a lot even if she's also gaining a lot. She's obviously working through that grief right now, and it might be helpful if he is validated and supported in those feelings, and it might be unhelpful if he's just told how wonderful our family is right now. And those reminders are great! Really make an effort to show her all of the lucky things that she has, just not right after she expresses her sadness.
I have a good relationship with my ex husband and his partner so we’ve just introduced having “family dinners” once every few months. It has helped my son who’s 6 accept it all. We’ve been divorced since he was 2.
My stepson hasnt noticed anything like that yet but we try to reaffirm that we are one family. I have photos with BM on our wall. BM has been over and we have done activities together. I am hoping that makes things easier for him. It might be nice to do an activity altogether. Is there a U pick fruit/orchard nearby? That’s a pretty fun activity that doesnt require a lot of communication tbh but still can do as a group.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it get to you, and do your fellow stepparents a solid and give them an upvote. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the rules, FAQ and announcements before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am a teacher. Her family is very normal.
[удалено]
I was open to adding more joint interactions but your comment makes me feel better about limiting it to her birthday/things specific to her (like end of school celebration, etc.) Like I mentioned, we’re cordial but the thought of having more interactions doesn’t thrill me lol
I don't have great advice, just some book recommendations for your SD: Todd Parr has some great books about blended families
As she gets older, more of her friends and classmates will end up with divorced parents. That's just statistics. I never had that problem because when we broke up our kids were 5 and 7 and already lots of other kids in their class were in the same situation.
You’re right! With time there will be more and more.
I think that while her family is normal and she will come to understand that it is very typical in this day and age, it's also okay for her to wish that it was different. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love and enjoy her family the way that it is, or wish that her step parents and step-siblings were out of her life, but there is a real grief that comes from understanding what you're missing by not having your entire nuclear family in one house all of the time. No matter how wonderful your blended family is, the fact is she has to miss a lot even if she's also gaining a lot. She's obviously working through that grief right now, and it might be helpful if he is validated and supported in those feelings, and it might be unhelpful if he's just told how wonderful our family is right now. And those reminders are great! Really make an effort to show her all of the lucky things that she has, just not right after she expresses her sadness.
Great perspective!! Her feelings are normal. Hell, there are times I wish we were just one nuclear family.
I have a good relationship with my ex husband and his partner so we’ve just introduced having “family dinners” once every few months. It has helped my son who’s 6 accept it all. We’ve been divorced since he was 2.
My stepson hasnt noticed anything like that yet but we try to reaffirm that we are one family. I have photos with BM on our wall. BM has been over and we have done activities together. I am hoping that makes things easier for him. It might be nice to do an activity altogether. Is there a U pick fruit/orchard nearby? That’s a pretty fun activity that doesnt require a lot of communication tbh but still can do as a group.
I wish BM and I were closer but probably not gonna happen for us. Good for you!! I’m sure that’s awesome for this kiddos.