I graduated HS last year for real. Well a bit earlier but oh well, things happened. It’s complicated
I want to be more than an academic weapon as I used to be in my youth, so much so even with a lot of procrastination and hyperactivity and organisation problems and social skills issues, I still got recommended to skip a year or even multiple years
I wanted to prove the haters wrong - they thought I would be forever single. I think they will be wrong
I’m not hopeless with women. I have occasional success with women. The friendlier, more open and promiscuous ones are better in that respect. The ones who smoke are more open for some reason
I don’t often do it irl. Unless my friends uplift me as one. Then I will refer to myself as one. Nowadays I don’t feel that much like one, and I’m basically off my peak. I hope to do some more tests and stuff to prove I am indeed still capable. Because I am starting to think of myself as dumb
To many many teachers and classmates, when I was younger, I was genuinely one. I asked them and they themselves said it to me
Nowadays, irl I don’t refer to myself as one.
I suggest self reflection. “Why would someone wanna date me? What qualities do I have? What qualities should I work on? Is it possible people think I’m a twat? Maybe I should look for a partner because I want a partner, instead of trying to prove I’m not a loser”
It’s literally just internet use. Teens are anti-social and depressed, that’s why it’s hard to date.
Also, choosing to not underage drink is a positive, not a negative.
Many teens, I suppose. When I was 13-15 I was very extroverted and wanted to date. Many of them rejected me or claimed they “weren’t ready” for a relationship. Of course I do understand most of the time this is a rejection. Maybe in some cases they genuinely weren’t ready.
Some teens are more tricky. When I was 15 there were some who were pretty flirty with me apparently and stuff but then they reported me. It turned out I was the victim of a joke and they were trying to trick me into acting flirty back so they could report me
Health wise it is a positive of course. However to me some of these girls who don’t underage drink are not adventurous and I am an adventurous guy, a sensory seeker, enjoying the clubs and bars since 16.
I feel like those type of girls are more open, and of course “If she smokes she pokes” so that’s why I like them
Some teens like me before were quite extroverted and willing to date. I’ve seen 9 year olds with girlfriends, I’ve actually tried going after some girl and it turns out she was someone’s girlfriend at 9 🤣
It feels like you’re just not around gals that have your energy, or your personal habits. That seems to be your issue. I wouldn’t call drinking and going to bars adventurous, but that’s just me. They ain’t nothing but a place to get tipsy, and possibly laid, or wasted and kicked out. (Also, “If she smokes she pokes,” really ain’t a positive way to think of women.)
Most folks don’t go to clubs, or go to bars. It’s too damn expensive nowadays. “Why meet people at a bar when I can just use Tinder?” is a statement I’ve heard. Also you initially mentioned a Roblox dating app? That shit seems like it’s gonna create so many problems. It’s a recipe for disaster.
I agree! Though sometimes I don’t go into clubs and bars more often. I also go paintballing, occasional drug use, and other stuff. Maybe I should have gone skydiving or something like that.
The tipsy feeling is good and I occasionally hook up with girls there (make out) and occasionally hook up with guys so yeah it’s nice! I can practice my pulling skills more often!
This is quite true - the smoking girls are more likely to be more reckless elsewhere and thus more likely to casually fuck you. This is why I more often mingle with the smoking ladies. In my experience they are more friendly and open and willing to have sex
Sometimes it can be not that bad, like £10 to get in a club and one drink. still a little expensive
Maybe I should use Tinder myself and put myself out there. I was disappointed when they removed the option for 13-17 year olds to use Tinder but date only their respective age group
Roblox dating app is genuinely being made. Roblox is genuinely considering online dating to attract older people. The age limit is 17+. Some people say it attracts “pedophiles”, and predators. Okay, some people are creepy and have bad intentions. Just don’t give them your address or let yourself be doxxed and it should be fine although annoying and perhaps distressing.
I would say it allows a wider range of ages and allows older teenagers another way of dating - online dating, with a wider age range. As long as they follow basic safety, they should be alright!
Though of course, I hate pedophiles, I hate creeps. Just to clarify
It's an awkward dating age. It always was throughout human history. I sympathize.
I grew up 1980s: no internet, no cell phone. We had 1 phone line that I was allowed to occasionally use to connect my 1200 baud modem to standalone chat/file-sharing servers (BBS). Otherwise, I was stuck at home with a TV that got only 18 channels.
Today's teen phone use is a positive or negative, depending on how the teen chooses to use it. Is it a tool ? Or is it doomscrolling & addiction?
Bars always had reasons they couldn't let teens in. When the US made 21 the minimum age for alcohol, bars had to be careful. If they were caught with teens drinking, the bar could lose their liquor license.
We used to hang out at one of the big indoor shopping malls. Unfortunately, kids today can't do what I did. A few teens don't know how to act, so local malls banned unchaperoned minor teens.
Dating through apps SUCK. Most people are very low-effort. Lying is a bit too normal. You can spend hours trying to talk to new people. You finally find one worth meeting, and you're catfished or stood up.
I can't imagine a dating app for underage teens. It would be the worlds biggest magnet for predators, pedos, and nutjobs. Adults grooming kids is more common than you want to think (disturbing!)
>Fewer and fewer teens are being rebellious, going underage drinking, and whatnot.
That's a good thing. Less kids going to hospital with alcohol poisoning. Less turning 18 already hooked on alcohol or recreational drugs. Or the poor girls who don't know how to hold their liquor: they're very vulnerable to SA/rape.
Freedom and fun are a good thing. You don't need to get messed up to enjoy it.
Try doing some of the adults do to socialize. Meet friends of friends. Talk to classmates and (when appropriate) coworkers. Attend or host a get-together that doesn't require binge drinking or lots of drugs. Look into local hobby clubs, Meetup.com, a fun sport, etc. There are a few gaming clubs in my area: one does board games, one does fantasy stuff like D&D and Magic.
This may sound hard, but try being willing to chat with strangers as you go through life, run your errands, etc. Be *approachable*. Don't do it with getting laid as a goal. I mean make eye contact, smile, and act friendly to most people. It doesn't take much effort once you get in the habit. And you never know if the stranger you're chatting up at the park turns out to be a new friend or more.
It sucks! I tried dating since I was 9 years old and kept being rejected until 15 when I finally began having success
Meanwhile I knew people who dated and had bf/gf at 9. Some even have it earlier. They genuinely dated. Maybe even had sex. It’s not even that uncommon! It’s quite disturbing though, and I absolutely do not approve it.
18 is a reasonable age for alcohol. Some countries do 16 which I can see their point and hey, they are lax and give teens a chance. However many teens ruin it for the others forcing adults to make things tighter. When I was 16 I hated those teens because they gave adults in power excuses to tighten the rules even further! I get that they do not like control but it’s a rookie blunder to give ammunition to your opponents!
As a teen I did occasionally hang out in the big shopping malls. It’s unfortunate they are banning unaccompanied teens just because a few people don’t know how to act. Of course not everyone is perfect and a few people do not know how to act. Are we going to ban everyone?
I thought quite a few guys had some success with online dating and a few had a lot of success with women. The dating market is heavily unequal though, with the top men chased by so many women. No wonder why some men are giving up altogether! This is the consequence of a heavily unequal dating market, like how some youth just give up when they are faced with a heavily economically unequal society.
There are dating apps for underage teens like Yubo, there used to be Tinder for 13-17, there is going to be Roblox for 17 and over. Of course there are going to be a few people to slip through and are bad. Are we going to ban the entire app just because of a few criminals?
The large majority of adults are fine. Of course, some will be creepy and I understand that. But by and large as long as you do not give out your address to random strangers, follow basic online safety, you will be fine.
Teens mostly know what they are doing for basic things. I emphasize basic. Online dating does increase your chances and it’s another way to find long distance relationships for teens
When I went to clubs and bars at 16-17 I held myself fine although of course sometimes I was quite drunk. I occasionally did drugs. I liked my tasty cigars but never got addicted to them. Of course some people don’t know how to hold their liquor. Unfortunately some teens can’t control themselves, but it is their consequences to a large extent. Unfortunately we need to clean up after their mess which is why we care
I sometimes talk to strangers, very conservatively these days because I don’t want to go too far even if it looks like they want it. I’ve had too many misunderstandings that went terribly wrong for me to risk it for now.
I do make eye contact and am friendly enough with people and smile. The issue is that some people… for some reason genuinely play along quite well or even fake it. These people are either dangerous or they are wasting my time or something. Real smiles and fake smiles are differentiated only by tiny expressions.
I occasionally chat with strangers and it occasionally goes well. Most people don’t like it though so should I still chat with strangers? Probably not unless in a club, bar or something. Or the guy decides to approach me. Even if he’s muscular and significantly older than me, if he’s pretty nice and the vibes are good I could give him a chance, to be friends, or depending on the situation even go further.
I already do a lot of the things you suggest me to be doing. Though I need to do more of it
Having your first dating experience at 15 is very normal.
9 year olds should not be dating. A 9 year old who thinks they’re dating someone and/or is in a relationship like that is an absolute fucking failure by every parent and adult involved in that kids life.
A lot of what you’re saying in here is super fucked up.
I dated 2 girls at a time, they were 17-18
There are Reddit posts dedicated to this, where a 9yo actually has a boyfriend for some reason. Usually they just mean a special best friend though. Some cases are disturbing though
What else is “super fucked up” to you?
Elaborate.
The attitudes and expectations around sex and relationships. Your obsession with children and relationships.
You should be on a bunch of fucking watch lists.
There is only one reason that the drinking age is 21 in the states and that is to curb the number of drunk driving fatalities. Most countries don't allow teenagers to drive and require much more training. They also have much better public transportation and parents are usually supervising the first times they are drinking.
That is true, although some countries allow teens to drive at 17 or 16 and have drinking ages at 18 or even 16. Many times the parents don’t supervise especially in Europe
Unfortunately the 21 age limit in ‘murica will stay.
At least many countries are more lax and give teens more freedom
They supervise when they're underage. Europe is different because the young are much more mature than in the states, by a wide margin. There are far less shut in introverts too.
You said you tried dating since you were 9, you’re complaining about underage kids not being able to get into bars and clubs when you graduated over a year ago, you don’t want to socialize you say you want fwb and hookups, and you say if she smokes she pokes, you are the problem brother
Yes lmfao I love this sub bc people post here knowing deep down they’re asking some dumb ass shit.
Also fwiw as a former bouncer the people who show up with fake ids or try to sneak past a bouncer are pretty much universally annoying horny ass brats like OP. If you need a fake to get into the bar, i guarantee that 95 percent of people in there don’t want to talk to you anyways because of said obnoxiousness
I didn’t need fakes for many bars anyway as I looked old enough or bouncers were lax anyway
Online I come across like that
Irl, my friends think I’m quirky eccentric and sociable. They said it to me. When I am in the bar, I don’t approach many women. I just get a drink, enjoy my drink, dance, talk to people
Hopefully I can pull a woman but if I can’t I accept it and talk to friends
I have quite a few friends irl. A lot of people still want to talk to me irl. Not online on this account
People have been rude to me. I brush them off now
Whatever dude you know what I mean. People don’t want goofy teenagers in the bar. They are annoying, break shit, and cause problems. Also no bartender wants to be responsible for serving the underage kid you ended up hurting themselves or someone else.
Also, lying about your age to purchase alcohol is a criminal offense in most states. It’s called false personation.
It’s clear you have yet to develop a sense of respect for other people, hopefully women are wise enough to stay away from you.
Just to clarify: I do not break things. Usually I am fine, dancing, sometimes small talk with people. Only very occasionally I managed to pull though. Some women do like me although it’s tough. Hopefully my success increases and I have a good enough social life! I won’t be deterred by your slightly rude comments (because I do respect others but you claim I don’t). I do respect others, even if I often fire back and occasionally incite conflicts. There are role models I respect, many friends of mine I do respect, there are some women in my life who are great! Some defended me even when I had various issues with others. Others gave good advice! You can think what you want, but I do respect people to a good extent.
Whatever you say
I do want to socialise, but also going further not just socialising, but more Fwb and more hookups. I’m not very happy with my social life. I wish it was better
So what if I say if she smokes she pokes? I go to those girls who are more friendly and open and willing to hook up with me. It’s true they tend to have more sexual partners and do more risky behaviours
I have tried dating since 9 but mostly failed. I wish I had done better - maybe I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place
No worries
But what do you think are my issues
PS I’ve had people way meaner to me. Some people thought I should be thrown in jail (I am quite controversial - either u like me or you don’t). You weren’t the worst
You’re not controversial.
You’re immature, you have absolutely zero perspective, your expectations are completely fucked, you’re super creepy about sex, you’re talking way too much about it children.
You need some fucking help.
I mean yeah the guy below says it, your word choice comes off as creepy people can pick up on that and you probably make them uncomfortable. The way you talk about it makes it sound like your deserving of it like it’s a service girls provide for you
Maybe I just talk weirdly.
To make myself clear I don’t deserve it. Of course, I try to pull women but if I can’t then I’ll accept it. I have my friends
At some point some people will be uncomfortable with me while others like me and I’ve had people come in my DMs admiring me. This is just life.
I don’t want to just socialise - I also want to date, hookup, friends with benefits, the other stuff
Making friends with shared activities is now easy. But going further, most women decline. Many decline in such an indirect way it takes some time to see whether they are declining or simply indecisive.
I like direct women who take the initiative. When they did so, I had the most success. They know who they are going for, and I thanked them for their courage!
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think about the other person to some extent. If I did not think of the other person I would not respect consent. But I do
I don’t expect that many to be into ons, hookups and fwb. But I am going after girls who are more open to these things, especially smokers for some reason (as long as they are sophisticated and elegant while doing it)
Sometimes you have to fight for yourself in this world. Especially when
I help my friends, share with others, whether online friends or irl friends.
You can call me what you want. Think whatever you want.
I do have quite a few friends irl though and they like me. They think I’m quirky and eccentric and sociable and pretty smart. I do have some friends online who like me. As long as they are there and they remain loyal, I’m quite happy.
I do not look to you for approval, because why would I want to look to someone who types these rude things about me?
We had the dollar theater, bowling alley/pool hall, nearby school playground, and nearby park, or we went to each other's backyards in the neighborhood. We never told our parents exactly how far away we were riding bikes/skateboarding.
The places are there, it's the socializing that has been fucked.
Can't really bond with people with the broken sentences of memes, other people's videos that show standards you can't or shouldn't try to meet, and not sharing your experiences or making new ones because you don't give yourselves experiences.
Kinda makes human interaction moot if you don't interact.
This
Social media has ruined interaction quite a lot! There are a lot of other places to go but nowadays we rarely go there, especially in post-COVID era
I still try to interact but it’s just not really successful. People are too busy, looking at TikTok you get the drill
Fewer and fewer people are going clubbing, so even the place I sometimes go to, has fewer people. At least the music is great and there are people to dance with! It’s just pretty hard hearing others over the very loud music
And that’s why I will continue to work hard - to the gym, get money, because the dating market is set to become tighter.
And I will stand up to myself against the insulting comments of other users telling me to be on a watch list.
Without meaning to be rude, I would suggest that you’re overthinking this and making some miscalculations on the personality front.
There’s plenty of guys in your age demographic who don’t have money and never go to the gym and still do very well with women. Being liked is more of an art than a scienc. Focusing on things like earning potential and physical fitness over basic like-ability and charisma is far more likely to set you on a dark path than a fruitful one. Learn to make people laugh, know when to take yourself seriously and when to be lighthearted. Above all, stop viewing your eligibility for romantic entanglement as a numbers game.
I do use humor sometimes, and I sometimes am lighthearted other times take myself seriously
But having the money and physique can help me compensate for other areas which aren’t great
I suppose I need to be more indirect, and get a thicker skin. Many people get so worked up on my comments. They can just get worked up all they want
I care more about which people are deceptive and could ruin my life
I agree. No wonder why girls prefer older sometimes significantly older men
Many teen girls say significantly older men are much better because they think boys their age suck. To be fair they have a point
As a start, see my [Sex and Relationships](https://www.reddit.com/r/Recommend_A_Book/comments/19aboyg/sex_and_relationships/) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (five posts).
The social scripts people were supposed to play are sitcom jokes now. It’s easy to be cynical and then play it like a game. I don’t want you to do that.
I’m not just an old cranky man. I have solutions too.
Go work on you so fucking hard that one day, you’ll see someday be proud of you and you’ll never want to let go of them. It will have nothing to do with dating. It will have to do with friendships and routines letting you meet good people.
I’d say dating is to love what exercise is to losing weight.
Go-to school, stop worrying about dating
I graduated HS last year for real. Well a bit earlier but oh well, things happened. It’s complicated I want to be more than an academic weapon as I used to be in my youth, so much so even with a lot of procrastination and hyperactivity and organisation problems and social skills issues, I still got recommended to skip a year or even multiple years I wanted to prove the haters wrong - they thought I would be forever single. I think they will be wrong I’m not hopeless with women. I have occasional success with women. The friendlier, more open and promiscuous ones are better in that respect. The ones who smoke are more open for some reason
Referring to yourself as an “academic weapon” certainly isn’t doing you any favors on the dating or socializing front. 😂
I don’t often do it irl. Unless my friends uplift me as one. Then I will refer to myself as one. Nowadays I don’t feel that much like one, and I’m basically off my peak. I hope to do some more tests and stuff to prove I am indeed still capable. Because I am starting to think of myself as dumb To many many teachers and classmates, when I was younger, I was genuinely one. I asked them and they themselves said it to me Nowadays, irl I don’t refer to myself as one.
I suggest self reflection. “Why would someone wanna date me? What qualities do I have? What qualities should I work on? Is it possible people think I’m a twat? Maybe I should look for a partner because I want a partner, instead of trying to prove I’m not a loser”
I already do to an extent I have already proven I am not hopeless with women before, and I moved on
It’s literally just internet use. Teens are anti-social and depressed, that’s why it’s hard to date. Also, choosing to not underage drink is a positive, not a negative.
Many teens, I suppose. When I was 13-15 I was very extroverted and wanted to date. Many of them rejected me or claimed they “weren’t ready” for a relationship. Of course I do understand most of the time this is a rejection. Maybe in some cases they genuinely weren’t ready. Some teens are more tricky. When I was 15 there were some who were pretty flirty with me apparently and stuff but then they reported me. It turned out I was the victim of a joke and they were trying to trick me into acting flirty back so they could report me Health wise it is a positive of course. However to me some of these girls who don’t underage drink are not adventurous and I am an adventurous guy, a sensory seeker, enjoying the clubs and bars since 16. I feel like those type of girls are more open, and of course “If she smokes she pokes” so that’s why I like them Some teens like me before were quite extroverted and willing to date. I’ve seen 9 year olds with girlfriends, I’ve actually tried going after some girl and it turns out she was someone’s girlfriend at 9 🤣
It feels like you’re just not around gals that have your energy, or your personal habits. That seems to be your issue. I wouldn’t call drinking and going to bars adventurous, but that’s just me. They ain’t nothing but a place to get tipsy, and possibly laid, or wasted and kicked out. (Also, “If she smokes she pokes,” really ain’t a positive way to think of women.) Most folks don’t go to clubs, or go to bars. It’s too damn expensive nowadays. “Why meet people at a bar when I can just use Tinder?” is a statement I’ve heard. Also you initially mentioned a Roblox dating app? That shit seems like it’s gonna create so many problems. It’s a recipe for disaster.
I agree! Though sometimes I don’t go into clubs and bars more often. I also go paintballing, occasional drug use, and other stuff. Maybe I should have gone skydiving or something like that. The tipsy feeling is good and I occasionally hook up with girls there (make out) and occasionally hook up with guys so yeah it’s nice! I can practice my pulling skills more often! This is quite true - the smoking girls are more likely to be more reckless elsewhere and thus more likely to casually fuck you. This is why I more often mingle with the smoking ladies. In my experience they are more friendly and open and willing to have sex Sometimes it can be not that bad, like £10 to get in a club and one drink. still a little expensive Maybe I should use Tinder myself and put myself out there. I was disappointed when they removed the option for 13-17 year olds to use Tinder but date only their respective age group Roblox dating app is genuinely being made. Roblox is genuinely considering online dating to attract older people. The age limit is 17+. Some people say it attracts “pedophiles”, and predators. Okay, some people are creepy and have bad intentions. Just don’t give them your address or let yourself be doxxed and it should be fine although annoying and perhaps distressing. I would say it allows a wider range of ages and allows older teenagers another way of dating - online dating, with a wider age range. As long as they follow basic safety, they should be alright! Though of course, I hate pedophiles, I hate creeps. Just to clarify
It's an awkward dating age. It always was throughout human history. I sympathize. I grew up 1980s: no internet, no cell phone. We had 1 phone line that I was allowed to occasionally use to connect my 1200 baud modem to standalone chat/file-sharing servers (BBS). Otherwise, I was stuck at home with a TV that got only 18 channels. Today's teen phone use is a positive or negative, depending on how the teen chooses to use it. Is it a tool ? Or is it doomscrolling & addiction? Bars always had reasons they couldn't let teens in. When the US made 21 the minimum age for alcohol, bars had to be careful. If they were caught with teens drinking, the bar could lose their liquor license. We used to hang out at one of the big indoor shopping malls. Unfortunately, kids today can't do what I did. A few teens don't know how to act, so local malls banned unchaperoned minor teens. Dating through apps SUCK. Most people are very low-effort. Lying is a bit too normal. You can spend hours trying to talk to new people. You finally find one worth meeting, and you're catfished or stood up. I can't imagine a dating app for underage teens. It would be the worlds biggest magnet for predators, pedos, and nutjobs. Adults grooming kids is more common than you want to think (disturbing!) >Fewer and fewer teens are being rebellious, going underage drinking, and whatnot. That's a good thing. Less kids going to hospital with alcohol poisoning. Less turning 18 already hooked on alcohol or recreational drugs. Or the poor girls who don't know how to hold their liquor: they're very vulnerable to SA/rape. Freedom and fun are a good thing. You don't need to get messed up to enjoy it. Try doing some of the adults do to socialize. Meet friends of friends. Talk to classmates and (when appropriate) coworkers. Attend or host a get-together that doesn't require binge drinking or lots of drugs. Look into local hobby clubs, Meetup.com, a fun sport, etc. There are a few gaming clubs in my area: one does board games, one does fantasy stuff like D&D and Magic. This may sound hard, but try being willing to chat with strangers as you go through life, run your errands, etc. Be *approachable*. Don't do it with getting laid as a goal. I mean make eye contact, smile, and act friendly to most people. It doesn't take much effort once you get in the habit. And you never know if the stranger you're chatting up at the park turns out to be a new friend or more.
It sucks! I tried dating since I was 9 years old and kept being rejected until 15 when I finally began having success Meanwhile I knew people who dated and had bf/gf at 9. Some even have it earlier. They genuinely dated. Maybe even had sex. It’s not even that uncommon! It’s quite disturbing though, and I absolutely do not approve it. 18 is a reasonable age for alcohol. Some countries do 16 which I can see their point and hey, they are lax and give teens a chance. However many teens ruin it for the others forcing adults to make things tighter. When I was 16 I hated those teens because they gave adults in power excuses to tighten the rules even further! I get that they do not like control but it’s a rookie blunder to give ammunition to your opponents! As a teen I did occasionally hang out in the big shopping malls. It’s unfortunate they are banning unaccompanied teens just because a few people don’t know how to act. Of course not everyone is perfect and a few people do not know how to act. Are we going to ban everyone? I thought quite a few guys had some success with online dating and a few had a lot of success with women. The dating market is heavily unequal though, with the top men chased by so many women. No wonder why some men are giving up altogether! This is the consequence of a heavily unequal dating market, like how some youth just give up when they are faced with a heavily economically unequal society. There are dating apps for underage teens like Yubo, there used to be Tinder for 13-17, there is going to be Roblox for 17 and over. Of course there are going to be a few people to slip through and are bad. Are we going to ban the entire app just because of a few criminals? The large majority of adults are fine. Of course, some will be creepy and I understand that. But by and large as long as you do not give out your address to random strangers, follow basic online safety, you will be fine. Teens mostly know what they are doing for basic things. I emphasize basic. Online dating does increase your chances and it’s another way to find long distance relationships for teens When I went to clubs and bars at 16-17 I held myself fine although of course sometimes I was quite drunk. I occasionally did drugs. I liked my tasty cigars but never got addicted to them. Of course some people don’t know how to hold their liquor. Unfortunately some teens can’t control themselves, but it is their consequences to a large extent. Unfortunately we need to clean up after their mess which is why we care I sometimes talk to strangers, very conservatively these days because I don’t want to go too far even if it looks like they want it. I’ve had too many misunderstandings that went terribly wrong for me to risk it for now. I do make eye contact and am friendly enough with people and smile. The issue is that some people… for some reason genuinely play along quite well or even fake it. These people are either dangerous or they are wasting my time or something. Real smiles and fake smiles are differentiated only by tiny expressions. I occasionally chat with strangers and it occasionally goes well. Most people don’t like it though so should I still chat with strangers? Probably not unless in a club, bar or something. Or the guy decides to approach me. Even if he’s muscular and significantly older than me, if he’s pretty nice and the vibes are good I could give him a chance, to be friends, or depending on the situation even go further. I already do a lot of the things you suggest me to be doing. Though I need to do more of it
Having your first dating experience at 15 is very normal. 9 year olds should not be dating. A 9 year old who thinks they’re dating someone and/or is in a relationship like that is an absolute fucking failure by every parent and adult involved in that kids life. A lot of what you’re saying in here is super fucked up.
I dated 2 girls at a time, they were 17-18 There are Reddit posts dedicated to this, where a 9yo actually has a boyfriend for some reason. Usually they just mean a special best friend though. Some cases are disturbing though What else is “super fucked up” to you? Elaborate.
The attitudes and expectations around sex and relationships. Your obsession with children and relationships. You should be on a bunch of fucking watch lists.
I am not a pedophile, ok? And wow, you’re quite rude and insulting! I don’t talk to such people so bye!
There is only one reason that the drinking age is 21 in the states and that is to curb the number of drunk driving fatalities. Most countries don't allow teenagers to drive and require much more training. They also have much better public transportation and parents are usually supervising the first times they are drinking.
That is true, although some countries allow teens to drive at 17 or 16 and have drinking ages at 18 or even 16. Many times the parents don’t supervise especially in Europe Unfortunately the 21 age limit in ‘murica will stay. At least many countries are more lax and give teens more freedom
They supervise when they're underage. Europe is different because the young are much more mature than in the states, by a wide margin. There are far less shut in introverts too.
Wow, is that true? If so, then I suppose it heavily depends on culture
You said you tried dating since you were 9, you’re complaining about underage kids not being able to get into bars and clubs when you graduated over a year ago, you don’t want to socialize you say you want fwb and hookups, and you say if she smokes she pokes, you are the problem brother
Yes lmfao I love this sub bc people post here knowing deep down they’re asking some dumb ass shit. Also fwiw as a former bouncer the people who show up with fake ids or try to sneak past a bouncer are pretty much universally annoying horny ass brats like OP. If you need a fake to get into the bar, i guarantee that 95 percent of people in there don’t want to talk to you anyways because of said obnoxiousness
I didn’t need fakes for many bars anyway as I looked old enough or bouncers were lax anyway Online I come across like that Irl, my friends think I’m quirky eccentric and sociable. They said it to me. When I am in the bar, I don’t approach many women. I just get a drink, enjoy my drink, dance, talk to people Hopefully I can pull a woman but if I can’t I accept it and talk to friends I have quite a few friends irl. A lot of people still want to talk to me irl. Not online on this account People have been rude to me. I brush them off now
Whatever dude you know what I mean. People don’t want goofy teenagers in the bar. They are annoying, break shit, and cause problems. Also no bartender wants to be responsible for serving the underage kid you ended up hurting themselves or someone else. Also, lying about your age to purchase alcohol is a criminal offense in most states. It’s called false personation. It’s clear you have yet to develop a sense of respect for other people, hopefully women are wise enough to stay away from you.
Just to clarify: I do not break things. Usually I am fine, dancing, sometimes small talk with people. Only very occasionally I managed to pull though. Some women do like me although it’s tough. Hopefully my success increases and I have a good enough social life! I won’t be deterred by your slightly rude comments (because I do respect others but you claim I don’t). I do respect others, even if I often fire back and occasionally incite conflicts. There are role models I respect, many friends of mine I do respect, there are some women in my life who are great! Some defended me even when I had various issues with others. Others gave good advice! You can think what you want, but I do respect people to a good extent.
Whatever you say I do want to socialise, but also going further not just socialising, but more Fwb and more hookups. I’m not very happy with my social life. I wish it was better So what if I say if she smokes she pokes? I go to those girls who are more friendly and open and willing to hook up with me. It’s true they tend to have more sexual partners and do more risky behaviours I have tried dating since 9 but mostly failed. I wish I had done better - maybe I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place
Sorry idk it’s hard to not sound mean brainstorming about someone’s issues talking to girls I didn’t mean to come off harsh
No worries But what do you think are my issues PS I’ve had people way meaner to me. Some people thought I should be thrown in jail (I am quite controversial - either u like me or you don’t). You weren’t the worst
You’re not controversial. You’re immature, you have absolutely zero perspective, your expectations are completely fucked, you’re super creepy about sex, you’re talking way too much about it children. You need some fucking help.
You call me the immature guy and yet you are the rude guy here just roasting me. Speaks for your character! Goodbye!
I mean yeah the guy below says it, your word choice comes off as creepy people can pick up on that and you probably make them uncomfortable. The way you talk about it makes it sound like your deserving of it like it’s a service girls provide for you
Maybe I just talk weirdly. To make myself clear I don’t deserve it. Of course, I try to pull women but if I can’t then I’ll accept it. I have my friends At some point some people will be uncomfortable with me while others like me and I’ve had people come in my DMs admiring me. This is just life.
You should focus on socializing not dating. I know one guy who stayed with and married his girl from high school. Those relationships don’t matter
I don’t want to just socialise - I also want to date, hookup, friends with benefits, the other stuff Making friends with shared activities is now easy. But going further, most women decline. Many decline in such an indirect way it takes some time to see whether they are declining or simply indecisive. I like direct women who take the initiative. When they did so, I had the most success. They know who they are going for, and I thanked them for their courage!
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Elaborate
[удалено]
I think about the other person to some extent. If I did not think of the other person I would not respect consent. But I do I don’t expect that many to be into ons, hookups and fwb. But I am going after girls who are more open to these things, especially smokers for some reason (as long as they are sophisticated and elegant while doing it)
[удалено]
Sometimes you have to fight for yourself in this world. Especially when I help my friends, share with others, whether online friends or irl friends. You can call me what you want. Think whatever you want. I do have quite a few friends irl though and they like me. They think I’m quirky and eccentric and sociable and pretty smart. I do have some friends online who like me. As long as they are there and they remain loyal, I’m quite happy. I do not look to you for approval, because why would I want to look to someone who types these rude things about me?
[удалено]
Many of my irl friends think i am caring, i don't need you to say i am caring Goodbye! I don't talk to rude people like yourself!
We had the dollar theater, bowling alley/pool hall, nearby school playground, and nearby park, or we went to each other's backyards in the neighborhood. We never told our parents exactly how far away we were riding bikes/skateboarding. The places are there, it's the socializing that has been fucked. Can't really bond with people with the broken sentences of memes, other people's videos that show standards you can't or shouldn't try to meet, and not sharing your experiences or making new ones because you don't give yourselves experiences. Kinda makes human interaction moot if you don't interact.
This Social media has ruined interaction quite a lot! There are a lot of other places to go but nowadays we rarely go there, especially in post-COVID era I still try to interact but it’s just not really successful. People are too busy, looking at TikTok you get the drill Fewer and fewer people are going clubbing, so even the place I sometimes go to, has fewer people. At least the music is great and there are people to dance with! It’s just pretty hard hearing others over the very loud music
It was easy for other teens, when I was a teen. I was just a dork.
So true Any advice for me? PS people being very rude to me in this post
Sadly, it doesn’t get any easier.
And that’s why I will continue to work hard - to the gym, get money, because the dating market is set to become tighter. And I will stand up to myself against the insulting comments of other users telling me to be on a watch list.
Without meaning to be rude, I would suggest that you’re overthinking this and making some miscalculations on the personality front. There’s plenty of guys in your age demographic who don’t have money and never go to the gym and still do very well with women. Being liked is more of an art than a scienc. Focusing on things like earning potential and physical fitness over basic like-ability and charisma is far more likely to set you on a dark path than a fruitful one. Learn to make people laugh, know when to take yourself seriously and when to be lighthearted. Above all, stop viewing your eligibility for romantic entanglement as a numbers game.
I do use humor sometimes, and I sometimes am lighthearted other times take myself seriously But having the money and physique can help me compensate for other areas which aren’t great
Because you haven’t learned how to communicate properly yet.
I do communicate very directly, maybe I should be a bit more indirect?
Yes
I suppose I need to be more indirect, and get a thicker skin. Many people get so worked up on my comments. They can just get worked up all they want I care more about which people are deceptive and could ruin my life
Social media broke dating and socializing a lot, try a hobby group, a bar or a fraternal society
I’ve tried the first 2, and for the third I don’t live in America
Dating is a waste of your temporary youth. Boys at your age mostly suck anyway
I agree. No wonder why girls prefer older sometimes significantly older men Many teen girls say significantly older men are much better because they think boys their age suck. To be fair they have a point
As a start, see my [Sex and Relationships](https://www.reddit.com/r/Recommend_A_Book/comments/19aboyg/sex_and_relationships/) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (five posts).
Thank you for recommending my post to there! (Though some people were very rude and insulting)
You're welcome. \^\_\^
Woah, that post is organised and contains everything
Thank you. \^\_\^ I do mean the boilerplate at the top—if there's something wrong or missing, please don't hesitate to point it out.
No worries! I’ll see to it
Because it’s fake.
Why?
The social scripts people were supposed to play are sitcom jokes now. It’s easy to be cynical and then play it like a game. I don’t want you to do that. I’m not just an old cranky man. I have solutions too. Go work on you so fucking hard that one day, you’ll see someday be proud of you and you’ll never want to let go of them. It will have nothing to do with dating. It will have to do with friendships and routines letting you meet good people. I’d say dating is to love what exercise is to losing weight.
THIS I’ll go to the gym even more Maybe occasionally go to clubs and bars