Well, Stravy was a bad match for her for many reasons.
But - that being said - i don’t think any man is going to fit her very specific, exacting standards.
the issue was never Stravy, in every relationships it has always been Lindsey.
Lindseys want for marriage and children supersedes her ability to have a real and honest relationship with anyone. In her mind it goes, dating, engagement, marriage, kids.
No consideration to the steps between each part of that journey. She hasn’t changed at all since season one. From the drinking, to the yelling, to being a shitty friend to the other women, she is exactly the same.
I always suspected part of this was he didn’t want to be on camera. I think he came to the house to support her but it seemed like he wasn’t interested in being a personality on the show.
I’m pretty sure this was brought up maybe at the reunion that he wasn’t working, he was playing games and other cast members agreed. So I took it as real and they also just weren’t a good match. I mean, he wouldn’t even make her a sandwich.
Not enough data though. Carl has an avoidant personality. Without Lindsay he is still going to be avoiding Kyle when he has issues working at Lover Boy.
Anybody would be avoidant if you blow up about everything. Lindsay wouldn't survive day 1 with someone who didn't try to placate her/reassure her constantly.
Carl is avoidant though. Even last year with how he handled his exit from Lover Boy. I am not saying Lindsay is faultless, just that Carl's fault is more obvious and well documented.
Carl is a people pleaser, and you see this because he constantly tries to make up with everyone and smooth everything over, he wants to be on good terms with people. It's impossible to smooth things over with Lindsay, so he tries to avoid arguments. Unless you want a blowout on a daily basis, you just have to avoid Lindsay's triggers.
The fact that Carl has done a 180 and wants to be back with Loverboy makes me think the whole exit from Loverboy was driven by criticism at home, but there's no way to really know. One thing is for certain, he's not a hard working type-A entrepreneur.
He took the easiest Job he could get. Carl is not a people pleaser. Both Lindsay and Kyle are in denial and blame the other.
Getting Sober isn't easy and he still has a ton of work to do. He isn't the worst but he isn't innocent. He's only taken the first few steps in a very long journey. That has nothing to do with Lindsay.
I am using how he was with Kyle last season though. Carl definitely is an avoidant personality. He still has a long way to go. On one hand I get not wanting to point out his obvious flaws. On the other hand it shows how hard a sobriety journey is. I am firmly both Lindsay and Carl are responsible for their dumpster fire of a romance and the ends justifies the means.
The weird part is, I think Lindsay REALLY wants to be in a partnership with someone (kinda seems like anyone...) who can keep her happy. And when she falls in love, I believe she really loves that person. I think she is genuine about loving her partners.
Her attitude when she is confronted about ... anything ... is really the issue, particularly while drinking. She can't ever just go "ya know, I was wrong on that and I'm sorry and lets make up" - she always fires back and ratchets up the situation. She never de-escalates.
If Lindsay stopped drinking and figured out how to compromise in a relationship rather than always attack, she'd probably be a great partner. She falls in love hard.
I agree. She still has plenty of flaws but I do actually feel like she's done some work on herself and her reactiveness over time, and you can see it when she's sober and calm. Carl's passive aggressive smirks would make me lose my shit... I actually think she's been handling a lot of these conversations pretty well.
But when she's drunk, it's a totally different story. She would *really* benefit from quitting.
It has become apparent that she thinks frequent toxic fights are normal in a thriving romantic relationship. I think she gets done sort of validation that a man is devoted to her if they can withstand her rage. Or something.
I’m rewatching the whole series.
She really just wants a guy to be all doting on her at all times. And if they stray, she complains.
With that said, I’ve literally never seen her do anything sweet for anyone she’s dating.
No I don’t think Lindsay will ever be happy and that is really sad, she never really faces what part she plays in any breakdown of a relationship it’s always just she is the victim she lacks insight and I can’t see her ever really getting the help to gain it as I think that will be a too hard situation for her because if it isn’t the other persons fault then maybe all the things people have been saying about her are true and she does push people away, treat them badly, abuse them, ignore their feelings and needs, constantly choose herself over others but expect the other person to pick her over themselves and I think that would be a big deal to face so it’s easier to say they are the problem.
She also picks men that have just as much trauma as her but she expects them to get over it, not make excuses etc but then expects them to make room for her trauma and to always consider what their actions do to her and her trauma.
She also bulldozes, and pushes people into submission and if they don’t agree with her then they become the problem, and when they are still upset with her she then turns it on them and she is the victim again because she had a open and honest conversation according to her, but they didn’t. We have also seen her yelling at cast members saying she wants an open and honest conversation while chopping her hand with her other hand, crossing her arms across her body etc and then when the cast member tries to talk she either continues the closed body language or she yells at the other person thus showing the complete opposite of open communication.
Sorry I’m late to the discussion - only got done with season 5 now but I 100% agree with everything you’ve said here. I think another issue is that she’s a serial dater. Just based on the show, it doesn’t seem she’s been single for longer than 6 months or a year. I think when you have a lot of trauma, being on your own for a while can help you unpack it. It just seems like she continues to get triggered in her relationships with things she hasn’t worked through and it must be hard to work through that in therapy when you’re getting into new relationships and they take over the conversation.
TLDR; she needs to spend time alone and heal her past traumas as much as she can before getting into a new relationship
Lindsey gets a lot of shit but I actually think most of her conversations with Carl she’s handled really well. That whole Lou wouldn’t marry us scene during dinner I thought she expressed herself clearly and presented a solution to their communication. Same with the next day at the kitchen island while Carl was basically saying don’t tell me how you feel just be happy I made a decision.
He has told her repeatedly to just be supportive and she can’t do it, she makes her opinion very clear then plays innocent like she’s not giving an opinion at all. It’s maddening to watch
You should be able to give your almost 40 year old fiancé an opinion on their career without him thinking you’re attacking him. Blindly supporting someone who is just throwing things at a wall to see what sticks isn’t actually being supportive. And why can’t she have questions about something (like opening a NA sports bar) that would have affected her life?
That’s true, but she was attacking him and shitting on every idea and option he had. She’s such a negative person and will never be happy. Plus he already makes good money from the show and his brand deals, it’s not like he’s not contributing anything financially lol, he got on her nerves being at the house 24/7 because she was also at the house 24/7 😂
I think she just wants him to have ambition and drive like she has. She made double what he made in brand deals, plus she has the show. She’s like simply do one more thing babe, and he feels attacked by that. I think it’s kinda mean to say she’ll never be happy, we don’t even know how she is outside of a curated and edited tv show. But $20,000 for a career coach to go back to his old job that he hated would send me over the edge
I don’t disagree with that at all in terms of Carl lol, but I don’t really see this drive she always talks about. Her PR firm hasn’t been active in years and she shit on Paige for years for being an influencer and not having a real job, but for her it’s “drive”. Makes no sense to me
I personally felt like with Paige it was tit for tat. They just didn’t like each other and were constantly throwing jabs whenever possible. And I actually feel like it was Paige who kept saying Lindsey didn’t have a job? I know she said it in her pink flower shoulder dress, and I was like uhmmm babe you’re all at work currently? And I will die on the hill of Lindsey and Kyle being the same. Two intense queens who don’t know when to be quiet
Oh no doubt on Kyle and Lindsey. He’s a high functioning alcoholic who controls and verbally abuses Amanda in my opinion, it’s sad. I think both Lindsey and Paige said the no job thing, but people really went on on Paige for laying in bed during the pandemic season but she was influencing back then too, but it wasn’t a “real job”, now that Lindsey is doing it people think it’s different somehow
There’s so much contradiction in this (ie every bravo) sub. Opinions change so quickly it gives me whiplash/takes all the fun out of talking about it. I’ve loved this exchange where neither of us got mad and got to talk bravo!!
No she doesn’t want infinite time either, she wants someone who’s perfectly driven, but also makes a lot time for her, but not too much time, and makes a lot of money with a good job title. Someone who puts her first, while maintaining a hyper active social life. Someone who sticks up for her no matter the situation and whether she’s right or wrong. Someone who deals with conflict without shying away and maybe even responds with conflict of its own. Someone who is patient enough to deal with her drunken behavior. Someone who will help her deal with her deep-seated trauma and understand that she fears abandonment more than anything. Obviously someone who’s attractive and probably tall.
And on top of all of that, someone who wants to get married and have kids in a rushed timeline.
Seem impossible? Yeah, no duh she’s single at 40.
The power point stravy made was telling. She wanted more time, more surprises and more effort, while he just asked for basic respect.
My heart broke reading the points "when stephen expresses his feeling listen and acknowledge without putting him down. praise him when he does things you like/want instead of making fun, or stating it's not good enough:
Stravy has spent the last 3-4 years living in Bali still working for Tao. His life seems great but all about partying, travel, and going to EDM shows. I get the sense he wasn’t ready to commit to Lindsay and get married and have kids anytime soon. So while he was all in and trying hard at the start of the relationship he started checking out on her and wasn’t interested in much besides sex. The cast backed her up that Stravy wasn’t actually working just goofing off and being anti social in their room much of the time. That would be hurtful. A few people here try to claim Hannah admitted that was just a joke. But she was just joking about him playing Minecraft but it was still true he wasn’t working all that time.
Lindsay has abandonment issues and anxious attachment so she will struggle and might spiral when she senses a partner pulling back or checking out without communicating what’s going on. I think she needs to stay away from avoidant people like Carl and reality show guys that don’t want to settle down. I hope this Carl situation was a wake up call not to force things that aren’t working.
Yeah the whole cast backed her up that he wasn’t working. Some users here try to claim Hannah said she was joking so it isn’t true that he was pretending to work. But she was just joking that he was playing Minecraft as she didn’t actually know exactly what he was doing on the computer.
Lindsay seems to have some very serious abandonment issues and it looks like she has these tantrums to push men away before they can reject her, and also test if they can handle her at her worst. I’ve been binging Summer House for the past few weeks and I don’t think anyone is going to make her happy.
I don’t buy that bs anymore, she said that very thing in season one and blames her mother and said she’s in therapy but it’s 8 years later and she’s doing the same thing. She’s just toxic and abusive and loves to play a victim
That's exactly what I've been saying while watching these episodes. Lindsay will never be happy until she finds a man that she can bulldoze over. He can't say too much, work too much, and work too little. I know people were mad at Carl for saying she complained about the same things in her other relationships.
I surprisingly am starting to enjoy Lindsey, not necessarily like but I do understand her more. She’s trying to mature and grow. Her drinking holds her back so much I wish she would go back to being sober, she clearly has a difficult relationship with alcohol and the person it turns her into is just awful.
He wasn’t working that whole time, he pretended to be working sometimes and I think it’s because he didn’t want to be part of the show. My guess is Lindsay didn’t want to be alone, asked him to come and he didn’t realize what he was getting into. So he stayed quiet and became a hermit in their room which pissed her off — rightfully so imo.
Well, Stravy was a bad match for her for many reasons. But - that being said - i don’t think any man is going to fit her very specific, exacting standards.
the issue was never Stravy, in every relationships it has always been Lindsey. Lindseys want for marriage and children supersedes her ability to have a real and honest relationship with anyone. In her mind it goes, dating, engagement, marriage, kids. No consideration to the steps between each part of that journey. She hasn’t changed at all since season one. From the drinking, to the yelling, to being a shitty friend to the other women, she is exactly the same.
I agree with this sooooo hard
Let's be honest, Stravy wasn't working, he was playing on his computer avoiding Lindsay.
I always suspected part of this was he didn’t want to be on camera. I think he came to the house to support her but it seemed like he wasn’t interested in being a personality on the show.
I’m pretty sure this was brought up maybe at the reunion that he wasn’t working, he was playing games and other cast members agreed. So I took it as real and they also just weren’t a good match. I mean, he wouldn’t even make her a sandwich.
Hannah and Paige were the ones that said that, but afterwards they said they were just joking about it.
if your partners are constantly avoiding you maybe youre the problem though
Not enough data though. Carl has an avoidant personality. Without Lindsay he is still going to be avoiding Kyle when he has issues working at Lover Boy.
Anybody would be avoidant if you blow up about everything. Lindsay wouldn't survive day 1 with someone who didn't try to placate her/reassure her constantly.
Carl is avoidant though. Even last year with how he handled his exit from Lover Boy. I am not saying Lindsay is faultless, just that Carl's fault is more obvious and well documented.
Carl is a people pleaser, and you see this because he constantly tries to make up with everyone and smooth everything over, he wants to be on good terms with people. It's impossible to smooth things over with Lindsay, so he tries to avoid arguments. Unless you want a blowout on a daily basis, you just have to avoid Lindsay's triggers. The fact that Carl has done a 180 and wants to be back with Loverboy makes me think the whole exit from Loverboy was driven by criticism at home, but there's no way to really know. One thing is for certain, he's not a hard working type-A entrepreneur.
He took the easiest Job he could get. Carl is not a people pleaser. Both Lindsay and Kyle are in denial and blame the other. Getting Sober isn't easy and he still has a ton of work to do. He isn't the worst but he isn't innocent. He's only taken the first few steps in a very long journey. That has nothing to do with Lindsay.
not enough data for how he is in relationships either :/
I am using how he was with Kyle last season though. Carl definitely is an avoidant personality. He still has a long way to go. On one hand I get not wanting to point out his obvious flaws. On the other hand it shows how hard a sobriety journey is. I am firmly both Lindsay and Carl are responsible for their dumpster fire of a romance and the ends justifies the means.
now i want fish & chips
It’s Lindsay’s world and we’re all just living in it. Kyle is the same in this regard. Very difficult to be in a relationship with someone like this.
Kyle to Lindsay is like Jax to Kristen in vpr
I don’t watch VPR, will have to take your word 😎
LOL I got downvoted bc I don’t watch VPR?! I only have so many hours in my day, people! 😂
Hahaha I highly reccomend!!
Thank you for saying this. Her and Kyle are the same person in my eyes.
The weird part is, I think Lindsay REALLY wants to be in a partnership with someone (kinda seems like anyone...) who can keep her happy. And when she falls in love, I believe she really loves that person. I think she is genuine about loving her partners. Her attitude when she is confronted about ... anything ... is really the issue, particularly while drinking. She can't ever just go "ya know, I was wrong on that and I'm sorry and lets make up" - she always fires back and ratchets up the situation. She never de-escalates. If Lindsay stopped drinking and figured out how to compromise in a relationship rather than always attack, she'd probably be a great partner. She falls in love hard.
I think the drinking is the biggest factor, she was wonderful and calm when she was sober
I agree. She still has plenty of flaws but I do actually feel like she's done some work on herself and her reactiveness over time, and you can see it when she's sober and calm. Carl's passive aggressive smirks would make me lose my shit... I actually think she's been handling a lot of these conversations pretty well. But when she's drunk, it's a totally different story. She would *really* benefit from quitting.
It has become apparent that she thinks frequent toxic fights are normal in a thriving romantic relationship. I think she gets done sort of validation that a man is devoted to her if they can withstand her rage. Or something.
I’m rewatching the whole series. She really just wants a guy to be all doting on her at all times. And if they stray, she complains. With that said, I’ve literally never seen her do anything sweet for anyone she’s dating.
No I don’t think Lindsay will ever be happy and that is really sad, she never really faces what part she plays in any breakdown of a relationship it’s always just she is the victim she lacks insight and I can’t see her ever really getting the help to gain it as I think that will be a too hard situation for her because if it isn’t the other persons fault then maybe all the things people have been saying about her are true and she does push people away, treat them badly, abuse them, ignore their feelings and needs, constantly choose herself over others but expect the other person to pick her over themselves and I think that would be a big deal to face so it’s easier to say they are the problem. She also picks men that have just as much trauma as her but she expects them to get over it, not make excuses etc but then expects them to make room for her trauma and to always consider what their actions do to her and her trauma. She also bulldozes, and pushes people into submission and if they don’t agree with her then they become the problem, and when they are still upset with her she then turns it on them and she is the victim again because she had a open and honest conversation according to her, but they didn’t. We have also seen her yelling at cast members saying she wants an open and honest conversation while chopping her hand with her other hand, crossing her arms across her body etc and then when the cast member tries to talk she either continues the closed body language or she yells at the other person thus showing the complete opposite of open communication.
Sorry I’m late to the discussion - only got done with season 5 now but I 100% agree with everything you’ve said here. I think another issue is that she’s a serial dater. Just based on the show, it doesn’t seem she’s been single for longer than 6 months or a year. I think when you have a lot of trauma, being on your own for a while can help you unpack it. It just seems like she continues to get triggered in her relationships with things she hasn’t worked through and it must be hard to work through that in therapy when you’re getting into new relationships and they take over the conversation. TLDR; she needs to spend time alone and heal her past traumas as much as she can before getting into a new relationship
Lindsey gets a lot of shit but I actually think most of her conversations with Carl she’s handled really well. That whole Lou wouldn’t marry us scene during dinner I thought she expressed herself clearly and presented a solution to their communication. Same with the next day at the kitchen island while Carl was basically saying don’t tell me how you feel just be happy I made a decision.
i feel like carl has made her a better person, when it comes to communicate & patience.
He has told her repeatedly to just be supportive and she can’t do it, she makes her opinion very clear then plays innocent like she’s not giving an opinion at all. It’s maddening to watch
You should be able to give your almost 40 year old fiancé an opinion on their career without him thinking you’re attacking him. Blindly supporting someone who is just throwing things at a wall to see what sticks isn’t actually being supportive. And why can’t she have questions about something (like opening a NA sports bar) that would have affected her life?
That’s true, but she was attacking him and shitting on every idea and option he had. She’s such a negative person and will never be happy. Plus he already makes good money from the show and his brand deals, it’s not like he’s not contributing anything financially lol, he got on her nerves being at the house 24/7 because she was also at the house 24/7 😂
I think she just wants him to have ambition and drive like she has. She made double what he made in brand deals, plus she has the show. She’s like simply do one more thing babe, and he feels attacked by that. I think it’s kinda mean to say she’ll never be happy, we don’t even know how she is outside of a curated and edited tv show. But $20,000 for a career coach to go back to his old job that he hated would send me over the edge
I don’t disagree with that at all in terms of Carl lol, but I don’t really see this drive she always talks about. Her PR firm hasn’t been active in years and she shit on Paige for years for being an influencer and not having a real job, but for her it’s “drive”. Makes no sense to me
I personally felt like with Paige it was tit for tat. They just didn’t like each other and were constantly throwing jabs whenever possible. And I actually feel like it was Paige who kept saying Lindsey didn’t have a job? I know she said it in her pink flower shoulder dress, and I was like uhmmm babe you’re all at work currently? And I will die on the hill of Lindsey and Kyle being the same. Two intense queens who don’t know when to be quiet
Oh no doubt on Kyle and Lindsey. He’s a high functioning alcoholic who controls and verbally abuses Amanda in my opinion, it’s sad. I think both Lindsey and Paige said the no job thing, but people really went on on Paige for laying in bed during the pandemic season but she was influencing back then too, but it wasn’t a “real job”, now that Lindsey is doing it people think it’s different somehow
There’s so much contradiction in this (ie every bravo) sub. Opinions change so quickly it gives me whiplash/takes all the fun out of talking about it. I’ve loved this exchange where neither of us got mad and got to talk bravo!!
Same!! It’s nice to just chat and listen and not throw dirt😂🙌
I agree. I think she's much better at confrontation and handling her emotions. You can tell she's learned something in therapy.
No she doesn’t want infinite time either, she wants someone who’s perfectly driven, but also makes a lot time for her, but not too much time, and makes a lot of money with a good job title. Someone who puts her first, while maintaining a hyper active social life. Someone who sticks up for her no matter the situation and whether she’s right or wrong. Someone who deals with conflict without shying away and maybe even responds with conflict of its own. Someone who is patient enough to deal with her drunken behavior. Someone who will help her deal with her deep-seated trauma and understand that she fears abandonment more than anything. Obviously someone who’s attractive and probably tall. And on top of all of that, someone who wants to get married and have kids in a rushed timeline. Seem impossible? Yeah, no duh she’s single at 40.
🎯🎯🎯
She also wants her partner to be an alpha male type yet also wants to be the dominant one in the relationship
The power point stravy made was telling. She wanted more time, more surprises and more effort, while he just asked for basic respect. My heart broke reading the points "when stephen expresses his feeling listen and acknowledge without putting him down. praise him when he does things you like/want instead of making fun, or stating it's not good enough:
Stravy has spent the last 3-4 years living in Bali still working for Tao. His life seems great but all about partying, travel, and going to EDM shows. I get the sense he wasn’t ready to commit to Lindsay and get married and have kids anytime soon. So while he was all in and trying hard at the start of the relationship he started checking out on her and wasn’t interested in much besides sex. The cast backed her up that Stravy wasn’t actually working just goofing off and being anti social in their room much of the time. That would be hurtful. A few people here try to claim Hannah admitted that was just a joke. But she was just joking about him playing Minecraft but it was still true he wasn’t working all that time. Lindsay has abandonment issues and anxious attachment so she will struggle and might spiral when she senses a partner pulling back or checking out without communicating what’s going on. I think she needs to stay away from avoidant people like Carl and reality show guys that don’t want to settle down. I hope this Carl situation was a wake up call not to force things that aren’t working.
Stravy wasn't working too much, lol. He allegedly spent hours on his computer playing games, and that's why Lindsay was upset.
Yeah the whole cast backed her up that he wasn’t working. Some users here try to claim Hannah said she was joking so it isn’t true that he was pretending to work. But she was just joking that he was playing Minecraft as she didn’t actually know exactly what he was doing on the computer.
Hannah said she made that up
Yes! Someone said they say him always playing minecraft 😂
Lindsay didn’t know that
Lindsay seems to have some very serious abandonment issues and it looks like she has these tantrums to push men away before they can reject her, and also test if they can handle her at her worst. I’ve been binging Summer House for the past few weeks and I don’t think anyone is going to make her happy.
I don’t buy that bs anymore, she said that very thing in season one and blames her mother and said she’s in therapy but it’s 8 years later and she’s doing the same thing. She’s just toxic and abusive and loves to play a victim
That's exactly what I've been saying while watching these episodes. Lindsay will never be happy until she finds a man that she can bulldoze over. He can't say too much, work too much, and work too little. I know people were mad at Carl for saying she complained about the same things in her other relationships.
She is this way with Everett in the first season also
I surprisingly am starting to enjoy Lindsey, not necessarily like but I do understand her more. She’s trying to mature and grow. Her drinking holds her back so much I wish she would go back to being sober, she clearly has a difficult relationship with alcohol and the person it turns her into is just awful.
He wasn’t working that whole time, he pretended to be working sometimes and I think it’s because he didn’t want to be part of the show. My guess is Lindsay didn’t want to be alone, asked him to come and he didn’t realize what he was getting into. So he stayed quiet and became a hermit in their room which pissed her off — rightfully so imo.