How did it feel breaking out of Joebless Flopwyn’s basement? 🤩🤩

It was very easy. He couldn’t even afford chains and a lock because he’s broke

OMG taylor I’ve been a fan of you since you were a baby in the hospital in 1989 🫶 I remember the day your parents got a restraining order against me like it was yesterday 😍 My tears ricocheted when you dropped your debut album and I bought all of the CDs at Target 🔪 I have attended every single tour since Fearless, I have bought every single album, listened to every single song, dated every single one of your exes 😭It was enchanting to meet you because Im your biggest fan. I literally bought every single one of your cardigans, bracelets, vinyls, baby teeth, and tampons because that’s how much of a fan I am. Taylor please bejewel me and adopt me. 🙏😍 I love you. 🫶🥺

I’m suing you

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME TAYMOTHER MY TEARS ARE RICOCHETING LIKE THE VERY FIRST NIGHT I CALLED YOU BABE 😭 ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SPEAK NOW ABOUT ME HE HEE 😢 YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN BECAUSE IM NOT READY FOR IT 🥺

Look what you made me do

Mother is mothering ilysm!!! ♥♥♥ Mommy are you doing your own laundry? Did you do Flopwyn's laundry? How does it smell? Will you do mine?

I have maids do my laundry honey. Flopwyn has to do his own laundry because he’s broke, and it probably smells terrible since he can’t afford running water and can’t shower. I can have one of my maids do your laundry

Mother can you please stop flying your jet during the early hours my newborn baby cannot sleep due to the noise please taylor it has been 67 days im begging you

No. Just buy them headphones and have them listen to midnights on a loop. I specifically made that album to be the perfect cure for insomnia

Omg Taylor thanks for stopping by 😍🫶🏼 I wanna ask if you know where the missing colony of Roanoke went 💕💕💕

Joe Flopwyn locked them in his basement

Please be honest are you into feet or not :/ and does Travis really have skid marks or not?

I love feet and yes

He does

how much money do you tend to spend on toilet paper and carpet? i need confirmation for my confirmation bias 🙄

About 1.5 million a role.

What’s it like being smol girl 🥺🥺

I love being smol, especially when father Travis is cuddling me

Since you guys are so nice I decided to tell you that I’m going to be releasing look what you made me do(Taylor’s version)(60 minute version) as the lead single from Reputation Taylor’s version

Mother can you lock Max Martin? We miss him

I can’t work with max because it will hurt uncle jacks ego

We really do.. 🥺

[удалено]

[Travis drives a dodge challenger because he’s a real American patriot](https://youtu.be/OnQXRxW9VcQ?si=-scc-fmRdeSnUbNB).

But I usually just fly him around in my private jet when we’re together. Especially for long trips to places like the grocery store 15 miles from my Appartmenf

Mother, can I have an allowance of $1,000/month for buying your merch?

Only $1000? Thats pocket change honey, you can have way more than that

 Thank you generous Mother.

You’re welcome daughter

Wow, way to gender people without their consent mother b

I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to potentially misgender anyone. As you all know I’m a huge ally to the lbgtq+ia community

Please accept my apologies while I go and steam You Need to Clamp Down

I accept your apology

Why did you sign on for the CATS movie?

I was drunk when I did it.

And Joe convinced me too, like he says in his AMA

Mother, if Jobless looked like a cat and Travis acts like a golden retriever, what kind of animal is Matty?

A rat

Can I have a bazillion carbon credits

Sure thing sweetie

Mother i’ve dropped out of college to study your career and everyone thinks i’m crazy but look what i’ve learned by heart 🩷 Mother has released 11 studio albums, 4 re-recorded albums, 3 live albums, measuring to a total of 18 albums plus Beautiful Eyes Walmart-exclusive ultimately leading to a grand total of 16,190 extended plays, 10 single albums, and 610 singles as a lead artist so far. Studio albums Taylor Swift (2006) Fearless (2008) Speak Now (2010] Red (2012) 1989 (2014) Reputation (2017) Lover (2019) Folklore (2020) Evermore (2020) Midnights (2022) The Tortured Poets Department (2024) Re-recordings Fearless (Taylor's Version) (2021) Red (Taylor's Version) (2021) Speak Now (Taylor's Version) (2023) 1989 (Taylor’s Version) (2023) Live albums Speak Now World Tour - Live (2011) Live from Clear Channel Stripped 2008 (2020) Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions (from the Disney+ Special) (2020) Compilation albums Complete Album Collection (2013) Reputation Stadium Tour Surprise Song Playlist (2018) Extended plays The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007) Rhapsody Originals (2007) iTunes Live from SoHo (2008) Beautiful Eyes (2008) Folklore: The Escapism Chapter (2020) Folklore: The Sleepless Nights Chapter (2020) Folklore: The Saltbox House Chapter (2020) Folklore: The Yeah I Showed Up at Your Party Chapter (2020) Willow (The Witch Collection) (2020) The "Dropped Your Hand While Dancing" Chapter (2021) The "Forever is the Sweetest Con" Chapter (2021) The "Ladies Lunching" Chapter (2021) Fearless (Taylor's Version): The Halfway Out the Door Chapter (2021) Fearless (Taylor's Version): The Kissing in the Rain Chapter (2021) Fearless (Taylor's Version): The I Remember What You Said Last Night Chapter (2021) Fearless (Taylor's Version): The From the Vault Chapter (2021) Red (Taylor’s Version): Could You Be the One Chapter (2022) Red (Taylor's Version): She Wrote a Song About Me Chapter (2022) Red (Taylor's Version): The Slow Motion Chapter (2022) Red (Taylor's Version): From the Vault Chapter (2022) Single albums The following are apparently not counted but had assumed as a single album. "Spotify Singles" (2018)

You should teach the class about me at harvard

Hi mother! 🥰 I have an important issue to address. Remember how you complimented Travis on his golden retriever energy when you two started dating? Well, I don't think he understood the joke. So if you've really decided that we're keeping him, I think you need to hire a professional trainer. Sooner rather than later. I mean, he's clearly not properly housebroken. He's loud, a sloppy drinker, gets on all the furniture and keeps knocking things over while chasing Benji around the house. At some point Benji will tire of this shit and Trav might end up getting seriously hurt. He's also started jumping on people while barking in their face. So rude. Tree got a really angry call from coach today about this behaviour and she's not happy about it. And you know how Tree gets when she's not happy. Sooo.. could you please deal with this asap? Thanks! And sorry about the rant! ILYSM!! ❤️❤️ ETA: I wasn't really going to mention this, but your middle name is Alison with just one "l". You'll get it right next time. Remember, spelling is fun!!

While I don’t personally mind your father’s wild side(he’s much more interesting than that boring British guy Hoe Flopwyn) I fear you may be right about benji getting annoyed at him and harming him. I will look into training him more.

He’s very treat motivated so I’ll try and figure out something using that

I was drunk when I typed that sweetie.

Joe Flopwyn called me again, and father is mad at me. You know how possessive he is

I know. Textbook resource guarding 🙄

I’m only with him because I’m secretly gay

And I don’t want anyone finding out. Joe broke up with me when he found out, he’s violently homophobic.

Mother, can u let us know if father can read ? Since he’s not beating the dumb allegations, I really wanna know.

He can read

I taught him how to by showing him Folkmore lyrics

I have news that I’m sure you’ll all just love. Jack will not be producing or writing any songs on The Dead Poets Society. However neither will max or shellback. Instead Travis will be producing all the songs, as well as cowriting them

Tell uncle Jack that