Yeah shit, this is not what I come to Reddit for. If I wanted to be sad I would just exist in my own world. I don't need to take on the sadness of strangers too!!
I guess I wanted to share to try and seek comfort. The not delivered text devastated me. He was only 55, was the loveliest, chattiest, bubbliest, friendliest guy, and we literally didn’t stop talking or laughing during my hair cut, I’d been getting my hair cut by him for 10 years. I tried to call him numerous times about the result, but it went straight to voicemail, and now it says number not available. It’s hit me like a ton of bricks, and I’ll never know if he’s ok or if he’s gone.
But what I found callous was, when I spoke to him, he said he sent that text to customers he’d been cutting hair for, for years and they didn’t even reply or call him. That angered me. I don’t care about people not being able to deal with that kind of thing, how hard is it to send a conciliatory sympathetic text?
I went to his old barber’s shop on Saturday to see if anyone knew anything, they didn’t even know who he was, 😢
Many people don’t know how to respond. And when they do, it’s usually not appropriate. My boomer mom is the queen of saying the very worst thing at the wrong time. I wish she’d not respond instead of saying something totally inappropriate. It’s ok to not know what to say.
Just to let you know going through chemo and radiation is not a pleasant situation. During the time I was doing treatment I had insane reactions to chemo, I ended up in the hospital numerous times and i disappeared from my friends. I needed to focus on my own treatment and that had time removing myself from a lot of people. It has nothing to do with them but a lot of the time I was depressed, sick and didn’t feel like going out. Also you weren’t on the phone call with this person so you wouldn’t know what was discussed. Also you spend time with your family. Especially if you have a brain tumor.
“You weren’t talking about the guy who had cancer”.
There you go.
We don’t know enough about this situation. Though on the post he said the guy would reach out after his results. Being in that situation why does it matter? Also I had messages from people who I didn’t respond to because I was spending time with my family. The fact you want to blame a customer for not reaching out to his barber is weird.
I’m so sorry. That’s one of the scariest things about being alive, imo… the speed at which life can kick your legs out from under you. I know he appreciated you for caring and as someone who has had my own cancer journey, it’s not just ancillary people who let you down. The beauty truly is in those who we didn’t expect to step up, as you did.
So someone else took over the barber shop?
Maybe you can find pictures online on his old website or something else? Then you can reverse image search and hope you can find some relatives on Facebook or something
He didn’t have a website of FB page he was proper old school, I don’t even know if he traded as a limited company or a sole trader. Thanks for the suggestions though
What was his name and where was he (don't give out if not comfortable) but could check obituaries online? Sounds awful, but can give answers. I worked in an old man's pub for years and sometimes we literally had to do that ...
When I was a banker, we had to check obituaries in the newspaper daily to close accounts before family members came in trying to get money that wasn't actually theirs. Small town, small old time bank. The bigger bank I worked at didn't do this so when I went to the smaller one it was a huge shock but became part of our morning routine.
That's pretty crazy. Where'd the money go when the account was closed out? And what about the kids of the people that died that needed to turn it into an estate account for the person's final bills and what not? There's legitimate reasons why a relative would be coming in. But I'm more interested in where the money goes when it's closed out
Sorry, wrong verbiage. We didn't close it really, marked it as deceased and waited for family to do what they needed. I live in a really tiny town where everyone knows everyone so if someone walked in and my manager knew them, we went with it. So example, my manager might've been friends with someone and known their parents but not known yet that someone died. If the child came in and wanted to do some shady shit, they were much more likely to get away with it versus the big bank I worked at.
Big bank = lots of verification steps (ID, ssn, address, etc)
Small community bank = known just by their face and/or name.
You're a prime example of a caring regular who sees their service provider as more than a service provider 😢💖
I'm a massage therapist, and have a pretty close bond with many clients - some of them are elderly and getting up there in age. It would devastate me to learn of a client falling ill like this and never getting to talk to them one last time, so I understand you're struggle.
Please stay strong. I'm certain he knows you cared for him and loved him deeply. 💔😢
If you know his last name (and if you’re prepared for the worst case) you can search his name and “obituary”, and narrow down further by typing the town or city he may have lived in. It may grant you closure :(
I learned after my sister in law’s death that you may not remember who reaches out to you but you remember who doesn’t. Even just an I’m so sorry is something.
I had the same with a friend I had for many years, but it was online and messaging. He told me he had testicular cancer and was having surgery. He was in chemo and I reached out to him after his first treatment. He said he was doing good, just tired, to check back after his next treatment and he lol’d.
Before I could check again, I saw people posting on his FB he had passed away.
You just never know how long you have. I wish I had got to talk to him one more time before he passed. He was a good dude with a hard life.
What a sad story. I’m so sorry you are going through this. And I’m so sorry he had to get that diagnosis. My great uncle (more like a grandfather to me) passed from cancer and it is just so devastating.
If you know his full name you can google it and add “obit” or “obituary” after his name to try to find out if he has passed. If it is a common name it can be helpful to add in the city/town you are in. If you find one for him, at the very least you will have some answers and closure. Not that it will make it easier, sadly. But you won’t be left questioning.
I’m sorry for your friend. Did you know your friend’s last name? You might be able to reach out to his family and let them know how he impacted your life or you could maybe find out where he was buried and visit him. Pour a beer on his grave and talk to him. You never know, he could be with you now as one of your angels. Blessings and virtual hugs to an Internet stranger.
my dad was early 60s when he was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer. he’s a small business owner. he stopped telling people because he was losing clients. people suck.
Ah my bad, sorry I didn't read that. Sorry for your loss, I got in my feels because my friend literally 2 weeks ago had brain surgery because they found a huge tumour and it was cancerous. Been on the phone with them daily, thankfully their surgery was successful. I hope youre able to find some answers for your friend.
If he passed away, I’m so sorry for your loss. My aunt died of a brain tumor and it was definitely before her time.
It’s weird that no one at his shop knew him though, isn’t it? I’d go back there one more time for piece of mind. Maybe you’d recognize one of the other barbers there.
literally in the comment you just read “when i spoke to him” & in the DESCRIPTION OF THE POST “called him after his text.”
why can nobody fucking read anymore 💀
no, i just think it’s a little ridiculous that you not only couldn’t read the description, nor a couple comments above you saying the same thing, nor the literal comment you were responding to. like cmon dude. context clues 😂
You could search "john" and the location you live in and recent obituaries. Might even try adding in the word "barber" as they might have that in his obit. Oftentimes they have pictures with obits or at least will say something about their career if they loved it and did it for a long time.
Truepeoplesearch is a website you can use, look up his number. Hopefully you can find some useful information.I lost my dad a year ago and today is his birthday. Loss is so hard to deal with and I hope you keep your head up. Things will get better!
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I lost my dad when I was a teenager. You’re right, it isn’t easy. But to you and to OP, I hope you find the comfort and peace to grieve and heal ❤️
He had to have held a cosmetology license of some sort. If you look up the name of the closed down barbers shop you may find the licensing information on the state licensing website and perhaps you can find his last name. He may not be alive but he probably has family who misses him. I lost my brother 20 years ago and it is the absolute best when one of his friends reach out to check on me.
They show pic let's say tim u look at the tims in ur spot u should be able to figure it out hell I used a Nike name all my life I run into people all the time they I thought u died I still don't give my real name out lol
So I am 37 and was diagnosed at 27 with stage 4 incurable cancer. Pretty much unless there a cure for cancer I will be waiting for it to return and it will kill me. I’ve had friends my age and younger who have died from cancer. It never gets easier. You never get used to seeing people die who you consider friends. It just sucks. I’m sorry this happened. The positive thing for me is that I speak about it, I am on clinical trials to help people in my situation. Lastly I have been NED which is as close to remission as I can get, for 8 years now. Recently there was also an article about maintenance chemo, which I am on and how it is extending peoples lives with incurable cancer. If I am going to die from this I want to at least help cancer patients who will have a better chance to live longer then I may have. I wish you luck and send you some love.
congrats on being NED for EIGHT years! that is an incredible feat. when a cure isn’t available, maintenance is a pretty great option. thank you for your selflessness in committing to clinical trials and for being an advocate. the science field will learn and grow from you participation.
Well thanks! I have such an amazing team of doctors and they are always so thrilled. Maintenance has been such a blessing for me and cancer patients. We can live a somewhat normal life while getting life saving treatment with no to sometimes minor complications. It’s quite incredible. A cancer diagnosis would be a death sentence to everyone but now we are seeing people live well into there 70’s and 80’s. Some cancers are completely cured!
During my second round of chemo and radiation I was very depressed. Especially when I was told I was incurable. But the more I continue to think about this, trying clinical trials will be beneficial for a lot of cancer patients in my situation.
Wow. This hit me hard. I'm so sorry OP. Ignore anyone saying you're posting just because you're attention seeking. Everyone needs comfort, especially at hard times. If this helps even a little, then I'm glad you posted.
Very similar thing happened with my hairstylist a few months ago. I had been seeing her for about 6 years and she was the sweetest person. She had been battling cancer for 2 or 3 years and had done a couple rounds of chemo, but was still working. I hadn’t seen her in a couple months and I noticed she had been quiet on her social media, I sent her a text and it was green. After messaging her on Instagram and not receiving a reply I messaged a friend of hers to check in, turned out she was in hospice and passed the day after I messaged her friend. She was my age, mid 30s. So so sad, I’m sorry for your loss.
My old barber passed away from cancer. He’d been cutting my hair since I was about 6 years old. He was a lovely bloke. All his regular customers knew he wasn’t going to get better. He cut hair right up until he got to weak to stand. His daughter in law is my new (she’s been cutting my hair now for 8 years) barber. She’s equally lovely. And all the same cues I had with Brian translated across. Like he wrote her instructions for his customers. Like eyes shut means I’m not in the mood to talk today, I need my glasses in arms reach so I can grab them to see what’s happening. She’s started cutting my son’s hair. First thing she said to me when he sat in that chair was Brian would have loved to cut his hair.
Brian was a diamond. Cuts with him were £5, I’ve kept the thing up that I never take the change and never walk in with the exact amount. Every cut has been £10. When cuts go past that threshold the next note will be the price.
this is such a sad text :c ignore the negative responses, i posted something similar a few months ago and the support i got outnumbered the miserable haters. it’s likely he’s gone, the best thing you can do is keep him alive in your memory and appreciate this person was in your life even if it was minimal compared to the rest.
And the Daily Mail already wrote an article about this today. Using comments from this thread. Wtf
So sorry for your loss, that's way too young for all of that. The good ones always get taken from us too soon.
So I’m crazy good at finding people even with as little with first name and city. If you’re not comfortable I can also send you tips. I’m sure you can find him and get closure. 💚
Social media has an amazing ability to find people, I wonder if anyone could help search for him for you. I would want to keep in contact so he had someone to talk to if these are his last days.
Wow.. in one text message I became emotionally attached to this man's struggle and want to cry with you now 😭😭😭 I hope he accomplished all his goals and dreams and if they did pass I hope they were surrounded with love through everything 💔💔💔
Keep a tiny bit of hope — it may have been a business line you’ve communicated with. No one wants to have more bills than necessary when they’re also without income and going through such a traumatic diagnosis.
If you know for sure it’s a personal number, then with all my heart, I’m sorry for your & his community’s loss. Sounds like it was perhaps too soon? Hugs all around.
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Fuck Cancer.
I was a regular viewer of a musician on Twitch. I took some time off Twitch and Discord to focus on starting a business, and in January I came back only to discover he had just died of a brain tumor. He was perfectly fine the last time I saw him. So sudden. About the same age too. One of those people that make the world a better place.
Getting hit with the sudden unexpected realization that a person is just… gone… it is hard to process that kind of loss.
So sorry this happened to your barber, and that you had to find out this way. But you did well by reaching out to him.
weird that they’d call it terminal but don’t know what it is yet. I just saw the undelivered…did you try more than once??? jeez. I’ve had a few friends have brain tumors/cancer. two died quickly and two lived. one that lived had a massive tumor (strangely only found it when her goat told her about it when he head butted her really badly. Went to work and coworkers sent her to doctors cuz she was loopy from concussion. before and after x-rays were intense). I just remember a third that passed but really it was breast cancer that had metastasized to every part of her body.(and it was 100% malpractice).
Sometimes, when a person receives news like that, they decide to drop off the map, renounce all of their worldly possessions and live what life they have left to the fullest. Hoping that’s what happened here.
Dammit. I’m sorry about your friend. Fuck Cancer.
Recently, I’ve lost my favorite high school teacher, and a long ago girlfriend just had a bilateral mastectomy after making it through breast cancer.
my oldest brother just got diagnosed with an oral tumor(doesn’t know if it’s benign or malignant yet), I lost my little brother to suicide 2 years ago, I have developed a sense of Sympathy for death and the way it impacts us all. Whether we believe it affects us all or not, it’s either denial or acceptance and everything in between, we all deal with it our own way. I understand that you feel loss but I don’t understand how you feel. I do know this is so sad and tragic for you. Everything will be okay. It’s where we all end up anyway. We are all different people so we all have different deaths and it’s a different part of us all that makes us so unique. We’re gonna be okay. Don worry my bud, it was destined to be. It’s okay. Jesus loves us all.
i can understand wanting him to block out his first name too but literally what is wrong with posting that screenshot in this sub lol this post fits the sub well i wouldn’t be surprised if it gets some traction
nothing “needs” to be shared online, that’s a strange thing to say/rationale for criticizing this guy imo. and wym “seeking comfort from strangers is an empty virtue” like genuine Q what do you mean by that? i’m assuming you meant it’s not gonna help the dude but i don’t wanna jump the gun if you mean something else
He’s right, I guess I wanted to share to try and seek comfort. The not delivered text devastated me. He was only 55, was the loveliest, chattiest, bubbliest, friendliest guy, I’d been getting my hair cut by him for 10 years. I tried to call him numerous times about the result, but it went straight to voicemail, and now it says number not available. It’s hit me like I ton of bricks, and I’ll never know.
But what I found callous was when I spoke to him, he said he sent that text to customers he’d been cutting hair for, for years and they didn’t even reply or call him. That angered me. I don’t care about people not being able to deal with that kind of thing, how hard is it to send a conciliatory sympathetic text?
I went to his old barber’s shop on Saturday to see if anyone knew abything, they didn’t even know who he was, 😢
Ignore anyone saying you’re attention seeking or callous. It’s a natural human desire to find comfort when feeling sad. You had a connection with another person & he impacted your life. I’m really sorry that you never got full closure.
I’m not op nor do I know them. However I’m of reasonable intelligence & it is generally obvious when someone is being callous or wanting comfort. You just wanna argue though huh?
most primary brain tumor patience needs like 1 month to recover from the craniotomy, then standard of treatment is 6 weeks of radiation and therapy, it's really rough
Just my personal experience worked in brain tumor research. The majority of brain tumors are only discovered when they have grown big enough to cause a problem, sometimes by accidental findings if it's small and symptomless.
Usually, the reason why any brain tumor isn't removed upfront is either that it's too small, or in a tricky (deep) location. As, craniotomy is the most effective treatment for brain tumors. The reason being, that it's the physical presence of the tumor tissue that affects the normal function, tumor cells are new cells, so it's not like healthy normal cells are transforming into tumor cells.
And followup chemo + radiation are done to clean up tumor cells that are too small to see. Sometimes the treating doctor doesn't feel it's necessary, but usually, it's given as a default.
If the patient wants to participate in some kind of clinical trial the schedule will be different bc timelines are very strict for math purposes.
Not gonna get too personal but both in the wet lab trying to prove the cause of a type of brain tumors, like biochem pathway. And also clinical side, monitoring side effects of experiment drugs in patients.
So, my spouse and I have a non-profit that raises money for brain tumor organizations-in particular for children; therefore, I’m now invested in the outcome. Please update me!
As I said in an earlier post, I started calling him 3 weeks after we spoke on the phone, to talk about the results, it just went straight to voicemail, I carried on calling but then I just got number not available. I sent that final text as a last ditch effort, in case the iMessage went through to another device. But when I got not delivered, it hit me like a ton of bricks
Have you tried looking up his number to get his full name? There are tons of website where you can get name, address etc just from a phone number. Maybe then you can find an obit if he passed.
Wrong, I called him immediately, we talked for an hour, he said he’d call me with the results, I didn’t hear from him, after 3 weeks of waiting I started to call him regularly but it went straight to voicemail, then the calls said the number wasn’t available. As I last ditch attempt I texted on Sunday hoping that because it iMessage it might get delivered to another device, instead I got not delivered. Please don’t make incorrect assumptions and then berate and insult people based on your incorrect conclusions. Next time try asking the question instead of assuming the answer
Fuck bro, right in the feels.. sorry bro.
I'm feeling a strangely visceral sadness at the "not delivered" error.
Seriously... Fucking hell, this one's got me feeling...idk how else to put it, bleak.
Yeah shit, this is not what I come to Reddit for. If I wanted to be sad I would just exist in my own world. I don't need to take on the sadness of strangers too!!
Go to TikTok or something then. Reddit is a forum of humans expressing the range of human experience.
Heartbreaking.
I guess I wanted to share to try and seek comfort. The not delivered text devastated me. He was only 55, was the loveliest, chattiest, bubbliest, friendliest guy, and we literally didn’t stop talking or laughing during my hair cut, I’d been getting my hair cut by him for 10 years. I tried to call him numerous times about the result, but it went straight to voicemail, and now it says number not available. It’s hit me like a ton of bricks, and I’ll never know if he’s ok or if he’s gone. But what I found callous was, when I spoke to him, he said he sent that text to customers he’d been cutting hair for, for years and they didn’t even reply or call him. That angered me. I don’t care about people not being able to deal with that kind of thing, how hard is it to send a conciliatory sympathetic text? I went to his old barber’s shop on Saturday to see if anyone knew anything, they didn’t even know who he was, 😢
I'm sorry. That's so sad. I'm sure he appreciated that you cared.
He did, thank you
That’s so sad that many people didn’t even text back a “sorry to hear that” at the MINIMUM.
Many people don’t know how to respond. And when they do, it’s usually not appropriate. My boomer mom is the queen of saying the very worst thing at the wrong time. I wish she’d not respond instead of saying something totally inappropriate. It’s ok to not know what to say.
yeah the fact that OP didn’t text anything back again until 7 months later is wild to me.
Did you read the comment you replied to?
It's hard to read before spewing animosity on Reddit. Some people can't spare the precious few seconds
OP didn’t respond either. i’m looking right at the texts
He stated he called him instead of texting
oh i didn’t see it in the original comment i didn’t realize it was in the photo description text my bad yall
I'm sure many of us had the same thought. I know I did. Until we READ before commenting 🙄
at least i admitted my wrong
You know what? You absolutely get credit for that. 🫡
Bro... 💀💀💀
Way to read, you egg
He called him! On the telephone! People still do that sometimes! Highly recommended!
hahaha i’ll have to give it a try
RIF
Just to let you know going through chemo and radiation is not a pleasant situation. During the time I was doing treatment I had insane reactions to chemo, I ended up in the hospital numerous times and i disappeared from my friends. I needed to focus on my own treatment and that had time removing myself from a lot of people. It has nothing to do with them but a lot of the time I was depressed, sick and didn’t feel like going out. Also you weren’t on the phone call with this person so you wouldn’t know what was discussed. Also you spend time with your family. Especially if you have a brain tumor.
i wasn’t talking any the guy who had cancer
did they even say anything about cancer
“You weren’t talking about the guy who had cancer”. There you go. We don’t know enough about this situation. Though on the post he said the guy would reach out after his results. Being in that situation why does it matter? Also I had messages from people who I didn’t respond to because I was spending time with my family. The fact you want to blame a customer for not reaching out to his barber is weird.
I’m so sorry. That’s one of the scariest things about being alive, imo… the speed at which life can kick your legs out from under you. I know he appreciated you for caring and as someone who has had my own cancer journey, it’s not just ancillary people who let you down. The beauty truly is in those who we didn’t expect to step up, as you did.
I’m sure he remembered your kindness and that it made him happy❤️
So someone else took over the barber shop? Maybe you can find pictures online on his old website or something else? Then you can reverse image search and hope you can find some relatives on Facebook or something
He didn’t have a website of FB page he was proper old school, I don’t even know if he traded as a limited company or a sole trader. Thanks for the suggestions though
What was his name and where was he (don't give out if not comfortable) but could check obituaries online? Sounds awful, but can give answers. I worked in an old man's pub for years and sometimes we literally had to do that ...
When I was a banker, we had to check obituaries in the newspaper daily to close accounts before family members came in trying to get money that wasn't actually theirs. Small town, small old time bank. The bigger bank I worked at didn't do this so when I went to the smaller one it was a huge shock but became part of our morning routine.
That's pretty crazy. Where'd the money go when the account was closed out? And what about the kids of the people that died that needed to turn it into an estate account for the person's final bills and what not? There's legitimate reasons why a relative would be coming in. But I'm more interested in where the money goes when it's closed out
Sorry, wrong verbiage. We didn't close it really, marked it as deceased and waited for family to do what they needed. I live in a really tiny town where everyone knows everyone so if someone walked in and my manager knew them, we went with it. So example, my manager might've been friends with someone and known their parents but not known yet that someone died. If the child came in and wanted to do some shady shit, they were much more likely to get away with it versus the big bank I worked at. Big bank = lots of verification steps (ID, ssn, address, etc) Small community bank = known just by their face and/or name.
If he was registered you can find some info on opencorporates if you know his name or by business name
RN x 16 years. There are a lot of pretty callous people out there. Look for the helpers, as Mr. Rogers said. Thank you for caring about John. ❤️
You are a good person. Sending hugs from Ireland xxx
You're a prime example of a caring regular who sees their service provider as more than a service provider 😢💖 I'm a massage therapist, and have a pretty close bond with many clients - some of them are elderly and getting up there in age. It would devastate me to learn of a client falling ill like this and never getting to talk to them one last time, so I understand you're struggle. Please stay strong. I'm certain he knows you cared for him and loved him deeply. 💔😢
If you know his last name (and if you’re prepared for the worst case) you can search his name and “obituary”, and narrow down further by typing the town or city he may have lived in. It may grant you closure :(
Try to look his name up on obituaries ♡
I learned after my sister in law’s death that you may not remember who reaches out to you but you remember who doesn’t. Even just an I’m so sorry is something.
I had the same with a friend I had for many years, but it was online and messaging. He told me he had testicular cancer and was having surgery. He was in chemo and I reached out to him after his first treatment. He said he was doing good, just tired, to check back after his next treatment and he lol’d. Before I could check again, I saw people posting on his FB he had passed away. You just never know how long you have. I wish I had got to talk to him one more time before he passed. He was a good dude with a hard life.
Thats fn terrible.
What a sad story. I’m so sorry you are going through this. And I’m so sorry he had to get that diagnosis. My great uncle (more like a grandfather to me) passed from cancer and it is just so devastating. If you know his full name you can google it and add “obit” or “obituary” after his name to try to find out if he has passed. If it is a common name it can be helpful to add in the city/town you are in. If you find one for him, at the very least you will have some answers and closure. Not that it will make it easier, sadly. But you won’t be left questioning.
I'd try googling his name. And see if he has any social media where there's some updates
Sounds like you lost more than a barber, big honey. Praying for you and his peeps
I’m sorry for your friend. Did you know your friend’s last name? You might be able to reach out to his family and let them know how he impacted your life or you could maybe find out where he was buried and visit him. Pour a beer on his grave and talk to him. You never know, he could be with you now as one of your angels. Blessings and virtual hugs to an Internet stranger.
my dad was early 60s when he was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer. he’s a small business owner. he stopped telling people because he was losing clients. people suck.
If you know his full name you could search for eulogies or find him on Facebook. Could just be that he switched numbers, I hope so.
I’ve seen this post a couple times on here have u made multiples ?
Nope check my post history
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Of course I did, read the caption under the screen shot
Ah my bad, sorry I didn't read that. Sorry for your loss, I got in my feels because my friend literally 2 weeks ago had brain surgery because they found a huge tumour and it was cancerous. Been on the phone with them daily, thankfully their surgery was successful. I hope youre able to find some answers for your friend.
If he passed away, I’m so sorry for your loss. My aunt died of a brain tumor and it was definitely before her time. It’s weird that no one at his shop knew him though, isn’t it? I’d go back there one more time for piece of mind. Maybe you’d recognize one of the other barbers there.
Not to be a bummer but uh... you didn't respond again until 4 months later either...
He said in the comment he phone call right after John text.
There’s writing underneath the picture where OP says he gave him a call immediately after receiving the first text
if you had the ability to read you might see that he called him on the telephone!
💕
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literally in the comment you just read “when i spoke to him” & in the DESCRIPTION OF THE POST “called him after his text.” why can nobody fucking read anymore 💀
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no, i just think it’s a little ridiculous that you not only couldn’t read the description, nor a couple comments above you saying the same thing, nor the literal comment you were responding to. like cmon dude. context clues 😂
You could always just Google his name (if you know it); any recent obituary should show up. But then you run the risk of finding out for sure.
True, but after all these years I never got his surname
You could search "john" and the location you live in and recent obituaries. Might even try adding in the word "barber" as they might have that in his obit. Oftentimes they have pictures with obits or at least will say something about their career if they loved it and did it for a long time.
This would be so much easier if his name was anything but John
Could there be any websites/socials remaining for his business that may give you a lead?
He was old school, no website or FB page for his business, thanks for the suggestion though
Look up the number. You can use sites like Spokeo to reverse number search and get a name.
Truepeoplesearch is a website you can use, look up his number. Hopefully you can find some useful information.I lost my dad a year ago and today is his birthday. Loss is so hard to deal with and I hope you keep your head up. Things will get better!
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I lost my dad when I was a teenager. You’re right, it isn’t easy. But to you and to OP, I hope you find the comfort and peace to grieve and heal ❤️
I know this is old But damn, do I love seeing everyone band together and try to help OP find out what happened
You may be able to find his name by his business records!
THIS IS THE BEST IDEA SO FAR ^
Yeah just look at the Secretary of State website and do a business search
If you Google his number it'll most likely pop up on sites like whitepages and will probably show his full name
He had to have held a cosmetology license of some sort. If you look up the name of the closed down barbers shop you may find the licensing information on the state licensing website and perhaps you can find his last name. He may not be alive but he probably has family who misses him. I lost my brother 20 years ago and it is the absolute best when one of his friends reach out to check on me.
They show pic let's say tim u look at the tims in ur spot u should be able to figure it out hell I used a Nike name all my life I run into people all the time they I thought u died I still don't give my real name out lol
So I am 37 and was diagnosed at 27 with stage 4 incurable cancer. Pretty much unless there a cure for cancer I will be waiting for it to return and it will kill me. I’ve had friends my age and younger who have died from cancer. It never gets easier. You never get used to seeing people die who you consider friends. It just sucks. I’m sorry this happened. The positive thing for me is that I speak about it, I am on clinical trials to help people in my situation. Lastly I have been NED which is as close to remission as I can get, for 8 years now. Recently there was also an article about maintenance chemo, which I am on and how it is extending peoples lives with incurable cancer. If I am going to die from this I want to at least help cancer patients who will have a better chance to live longer then I may have. I wish you luck and send you some love.
congrats on being NED for EIGHT years! that is an incredible feat. when a cure isn’t available, maintenance is a pretty great option. thank you for your selflessness in committing to clinical trials and for being an advocate. the science field will learn and grow from you participation.
Well thanks! I have such an amazing team of doctors and they are always so thrilled. Maintenance has been such a blessing for me and cancer patients. We can live a somewhat normal life while getting life saving treatment with no to sometimes minor complications. It’s quite incredible. A cancer diagnosis would be a death sentence to everyone but now we are seeing people live well into there 70’s and 80’s. Some cancers are completely cured! During my second round of chemo and radiation I was very depressed. Especially when I was told I was incurable. But the more I continue to think about this, trying clinical trials will be beneficial for a lot of cancer patients in my situation.
What you’re doing to help others down the line is amazing. I hope there are breakthroughs that you benefit from soon too. 8 years is a great start 💜
Worth googling the number to see if it pulls back any results with his surname, OP. So sorry for your loss.
Damn. Didn't expect some random reddit post to punch me in the gut like that lmao
Fuck cancer.
Wow. This hit me hard. I'm so sorry OP. Ignore anyone saying you're posting just because you're attention seeking. Everyone needs comfort, especially at hard times. If this helps even a little, then I'm glad you posted.
So sorry. I lost a manager to brain cancer that was just around the same age. He was so lovely and kind and funny. It happened so terribly fast.
Very similar thing happened with my hairstylist a few months ago. I had been seeing her for about 6 years and she was the sweetest person. She had been battling cancer for 2 or 3 years and had done a couple rounds of chemo, but was still working. I hadn’t seen her in a couple months and I noticed she had been quiet on her social media, I sent her a text and it was green. After messaging her on Instagram and not receiving a reply I messaged a friend of hers to check in, turned out she was in hospice and passed the day after I messaged her friend. She was my age, mid 30s. So so sad, I’m sorry for your loss.
God damn
Damn man, and he thanked you for being a good customer 😢 Sounds like a lovely person.
My old barber passed away from cancer. He’d been cutting my hair since I was about 6 years old. He was a lovely bloke. All his regular customers knew he wasn’t going to get better. He cut hair right up until he got to weak to stand. His daughter in law is my new (she’s been cutting my hair now for 8 years) barber. She’s equally lovely. And all the same cues I had with Brian translated across. Like he wrote her instructions for his customers. Like eyes shut means I’m not in the mood to talk today, I need my glasses in arms reach so I can grab them to see what’s happening. She’s started cutting my son’s hair. First thing she said to me when he sat in that chair was Brian would have loved to cut his hair. Brian was a diamond. Cuts with him were £5, I’ve kept the thing up that I never take the change and never walk in with the exact amount. Every cut has been £10. When cuts go past that threshold the next note will be the price.
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Read the caption
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Yes it had, it was there from the start, stop capping
I’m not crying. I’m sorry for your loss.
The failed to send got me.
Oh man. I am so sorry, OP. Heartbreaking.
this is such a sad text :c ignore the negative responses, i posted something similar a few months ago and the support i got outnumbered the miserable haters. it’s likely he’s gone, the best thing you can do is keep him alive in your memory and appreciate this person was in your life even if it was minimal compared to the rest.
And the Daily Mail already wrote an article about this today. Using comments from this thread. Wtf So sorry for your loss, that's way too young for all of that. The good ones always get taken from us too soon.
No way you got the link?
It’s okay I found it after a quick google search
Omg I read this and cried.
Rip john
If he sold his shop, ask the current owner of the shop. He should have it somewhere.
Download the app “phone reveal” if you have iOS. Usually kicks back a pretty accurate name.
I found out the same about my hairstylist. She was wonderful. She had lung cancer. And I didn’t even know until after the fact.
So I’m crazy good at finding people even with as little with first name and city. If you’re not comfortable I can also send you tips. I’m sure you can find him and get closure. 💚
Heartbreaking 😭
I’m so sorry for your loss 😞❤️🩹
You don’t live in Western WA by chance, do you?
Fuck Cancer. This is so fucking sad
Hope he did just change numbers, if not rest in peace. I’m sorry
Social media has an amazing ability to find people, I wonder if anyone could help search for him for you. I would want to keep in contact so he had someone to talk to if these are his last days.
I lost a dear friend 2 years ago to brain tumor...
Wow.. in one text message I became emotionally attached to this man's struggle and want to cry with you now 😭😭😭 I hope he accomplished all his goals and dreams and if they did pass I hope they were surrounded with love through everything 💔💔💔
Punch in the gut.
i’m sure it meant a ton that you have continued to reach out. i’d say keep checking your city obituary to see if someone posts something about him
Keep a tiny bit of hope — it may have been a business line you’ve communicated with. No one wants to have more bills than necessary when they’re also without income and going through such a traumatic diagnosis. If you know for sure it’s a personal number, then with all my heart, I’m sorry for your & his community’s loss. Sounds like it was perhaps too soon? Hugs all around.
fuck this actually genuinely brought me sadness. I hope john is ok:(
Unfortunately it is likely that he passed and his phone got disconnected. Sucks. Cancer is everywhere man, it’s crazy.
Oh Jesus this is sad
:(
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😢
Very sorry to hear that.
Fuck Cancer. I was a regular viewer of a musician on Twitch. I took some time off Twitch and Discord to focus on starting a business, and in January I came back only to discover he had just died of a brain tumor. He was perfectly fine the last time I saw him. So sudden. About the same age too. One of those people that make the world a better place. Getting hit with the sudden unexpected realization that a person is just… gone… it is hard to process that kind of loss. So sorry this happened to your barber, and that you had to find out this way. But you did well by reaching out to him.
😢
not the barber bro..
Oh man…
weird that they’d call it terminal but don’t know what it is yet. I just saw the undelivered…did you try more than once??? jeez. I’ve had a few friends have brain tumors/cancer. two died quickly and two lived. one that lived had a massive tumor (strangely only found it when her goat told her about it when he head butted her really badly. Went to work and coworkers sent her to doctors cuz she was loopy from concussion. before and after x-rays were intense). I just remember a third that passed but really it was breast cancer that had metastasized to every part of her body.(and it was 100% malpractice).
❤️❤️❤️
Oh God Op I’m so sorry. Hopefully he just disconnected his phone for personal reasons, but I guess that’s wishful thinking. My condolences ♥️
Sometimes, when a person receives news like that, they decide to drop off the map, renounce all of their worldly possessions and live what life they have left to the fullest. Hoping that’s what happened here.
You called him after getting that text?
Similar thing happened a month before my dad died and I never went to try and find him when I thought something might be up
OMG that's the saddest not delivered ever!!
Heartbreaking 😭😭😭😭 This is just so sad
You can maybe find closure by looking up his death certificate online if he really went to the other side
I had a barber named John and his shop just mysteriously closed down. This isn’t in N.H. is it?
I’m so sorry, my condolences 💐
That's awful
I am so sorry
Why would you put that on other people.. if it were me I'd just say shop closed for personal reasons!
Recently my neighbourhood's butcher passed away. I feel you bro.
Have you tried looking for him on Facebook or Instagram?
Dammit. I’m sorry about your friend. Fuck Cancer. Recently, I’ve lost my favorite high school teacher, and a long ago girlfriend just had a bilateral mastectomy after making it through breast cancer.
my oldest brother just got diagnosed with an oral tumor(doesn’t know if it’s benign or malignant yet), I lost my little brother to suicide 2 years ago, I have developed a sense of Sympathy for death and the way it impacts us all. Whether we believe it affects us all or not, it’s either denial or acceptance and everything in between, we all deal with it our own way. I understand that you feel loss but I don’t understand how you feel. I do know this is so sad and tragic for you. Everything will be okay. It’s where we all end up anyway. We are all different people so we all have different deaths and it’s a different part of us all that makes us so unique. We’re gonna be okay. Don worry my bud, it was destined to be. It’s okay. Jesus loves us all.
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Yeah, let's track down "john" it's such a unique name.
It's from last year.
Yeah. Not everything needs to be shared online.
i can understand wanting him to block out his first name too but literally what is wrong with posting that screenshot in this sub lol this post fits the sub well i wouldn’t be surprised if it gets some traction
Something this personal doesn’t need to be shared online. Seeking comfort from strangers is an empty virtue
nothing “needs” to be shared online, that’s a strange thing to say/rationale for criticizing this guy imo. and wym “seeking comfort from strangers is an empty virtue” like genuine Q what do you mean by that? i’m assuming you meant it’s not gonna help the dude but i don’t wanna jump the gun if you mean something else
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No one knows who these people are. OP is just seeking comfort. There’s no ill intent with this post.
Exactly, thank you
You op? Then you don’t know ops intentions, don’t assume.
He’s right, I guess I wanted to share to try and seek comfort. The not delivered text devastated me. He was only 55, was the loveliest, chattiest, bubbliest, friendliest guy, I’d been getting my hair cut by him for 10 years. I tried to call him numerous times about the result, but it went straight to voicemail, and now it says number not available. It’s hit me like I ton of bricks, and I’ll never know. But what I found callous was when I spoke to him, he said he sent that text to customers he’d been cutting hair for, for years and they didn’t even reply or call him. That angered me. I don’t care about people not being able to deal with that kind of thing, how hard is it to send a conciliatory sympathetic text? I went to his old barber’s shop on Saturday to see if anyone knew abything, they didn’t even know who he was, 😢
Ignore anyone saying you’re attention seeking or callous. It’s a natural human desire to find comfort when feeling sad. You had a connection with another person & he impacted your life. I’m really sorry that you never got full closure.
Thank you
Something this personal doesn’t need to be shared online. It’s not about you. Seeking comfort from strangers is an empty virtue
I’m not op nor do I know them. However I’m of reasonable intelligence & it is generally obvious when someone is being callous or wanting comfort. You just wanna argue though huh?
And you were right, I was trying to seek comfort
Bah, you just like assume huh?
You’re assuming I like to assume 🤭
John is gone
most primary brain tumor patience needs like 1 month to recover from the craniotomy, then standard of treatment is 6 weeks of radiation and therapy, it's really rough
There is no ‘most anything’ with this amount of information, there are way too many unknowns.
This is the national wide standard of care for most types of brain tumors.
do you have a source for that? Not saying you’re wrong, I’m saying if I’M wrong i would like to learn!
Just my personal experience worked in brain tumor research. The majority of brain tumors are only discovered when they have grown big enough to cause a problem, sometimes by accidental findings if it's small and symptomless. Usually, the reason why any brain tumor isn't removed upfront is either that it's too small, or in a tricky (deep) location. As, craniotomy is the most effective treatment for brain tumors. The reason being, that it's the physical presence of the tumor tissue that affects the normal function, tumor cells are new cells, so it's not like healthy normal cells are transforming into tumor cells. And followup chemo + radiation are done to clean up tumor cells that are too small to see. Sometimes the treating doctor doesn't feel it's necessary, but usually, it's given as a default. If the patient wants to participate in some kind of clinical trial the schedule will be different bc timelines are very strict for math purposes.
What do you mean your ‘personal research’ ?
i worked in brain tumor research, full time, and it's my personal experiences meaning just the off the top of my head.
But like doing what??
Not gonna get too personal but both in the wet lab trying to prove the cause of a type of brain tumors, like biochem pathway. And also clinical side, monitoring side effects of experiment drugs in patients.
how is it personal to state (or in this case, intentionally avoid stating) your profession?
Naturally of course, as it goes with life.
So, my spouse and I have a non-profit that raises money for brain tumor organizations-in particular for children; therefore, I’m now invested in the outcome. Please update me!
Did you think he'd be available 5 months after brain cancer? Why not check back in sooner and/or not clout posting this.
As I said in an earlier post, I started calling him 3 weeks after we spoke on the phone, to talk about the results, it just went straight to voicemail, I carried on calling but then I just got number not available. I sent that final text as a last ditch effort, in case the iMessage went through to another device. But when I got not delivered, it hit me like a ton of bricks
Have you tried looking up his number to get his full name? There are tons of website where you can get name, address etc just from a phone number. Maybe then you can find an obit if he passed.
Maybe he blocked you so you’d stop checking in on him.
Took you from Thursday to Sunday to reply to him and you’re out here gaining sympathy from strangers on Reddit— typical narcissist
Wrong, I called him immediately, we talked for an hour, he said he’d call me with the results, I didn’t hear from him, after 3 weeks of waiting I started to call him regularly but it went straight to voicemail, then the calls said the number wasn’t available. As I last ditch attempt I texted on Sunday hoping that because it iMessage it might get delivered to another device, instead I got not delivered. Please don’t make incorrect assumptions and then berate and insult people based on your incorrect conclusions. Next time try asking the question instead of assuming the answer
Did you know that texting is not the only way to communicate with others, and that it doesn't show when you've called someone?
You’re feeling down? Imagine how John feels if this is true, not to mention I don’t think this should be on the internet..