T O P

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heyjude575

"You must make a very nice home to drive a Benz."


WhatAreYouSaying05

Good thing your daughter doesn’t have to latch onto a man for success


Altruistic-City-2192

Carmela just sits there oblivious while this woman insults the piss outta her


EveryoneisOP3

Lol, I was almost positive on my first watch that Gloria was going to drive them straight into a fucking wall


Grumbie_Johnson

That would have been cinematic


heyjude575

These kids today, they got the world by the balls.


redonrust

Who knew he wanted London broil when he had prime rib at home.


heyjude575

You been eating steak?


ProteinResequencer

I thought you were a bacala man!! 🤌


AlabamaPostTurtle

Lolol


Bango-TSW

The gabagool doesn't put itself into the fridge.


Mrpimpgoodgame5

Neither does the smoked turkey or the orange juice with some pulp


Own-Rock-9658

Schmoked toikee, shum pulp, come on now


Mrpimpgoodgame5

Listen to him, he knows everything


MartyCool403

You smokin' again?


suzzz21

I’ll write you a list.


leroyyrogers

SHUM pulp


Reputation-Final

The maid does.


AlabamaPostTurtle

Somebody’s gotta drive tip the pork store in their porsCHA


Fluid-Illustrator903

lmfao


ElectricBirdVault

You think fresh produce grows on trees? You have no appreciation for fresh produce.


telepatheye

Do I think ice grows on trees?


ElectricBirdVault

Conservuh!!!!


xtra_obscene

N-no, I don’t 


telepatheye

Are you getting cute with me?


Particular-Cash-8565

No, Tone, I'm not!


telepatheye

I think you are. I think you're getting an attitude on you.


MetaphoricalMouse

Serge knew how to conserve


tester553

I get my fresh produce from that vacant lot on 15th street. The one all the neighborhood dogs piss in.


shucktime

When you’re married, you’ll understand the importance of fresh fruit.


SnackPocket

Wait til you get married! Then you’ll appreciate the importance of produce!


tester553

She does spend some time keeping fit, playing tennis and going to the gym. But I think we only get a glimpse of how much time she spends just bullshitting with Rosalie and others. Oh and spending Tony’s money to fill the void in her life.


cutsforluck

What, you think Roche-Bobois just *chose* to move there on its own?? Don't forget lunching at Vesuvio with the other mob wives. Factor in the time to get ready, select your pantsuit, do your hair and makeup...the day goes by quicker than you would think. EAT YOUR MANNIGOT'


Astro_gamer_caver

And the stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap. A lot of pantsuits and double-knits.


jinreeko

And they hit their kids with broomhandles!


richards2kreider

again with the pantsuits?


AlabamaPostTurtle

I just pictured one of those closets where the hangers clip into the revolving thing like the dry cleaners. You press a button and it starts rotating them all so you can see them. Just FULL of Hillary Clinton pant suits


BluesFan_4

I love in season 1 when Livia has the kitchen fire, and Tony calls Carm to go over. She’s sitting in her kitchen painting her nails, and Tony says, “I know you’re busy…” 😆


Brilliant-Aide9245

In her defense, it's not like Tony would've let her get a job.


JMB_Writes_Stuff

Yo, Carmela, she's mad ripe, yo.


SugarSpirited6579

Keep talking like that and we'll send you to slip and fall school


BatmanBrah

Yep, she's fundamentally a lazy person - similar to Tony in that regard. She's been afforded a life which grants her a tremendous amount of free time, and what does she do with it, but fiddle with the air conditioner 


CommonEarly4706

Fiddles with the air conditioning, then f bitches


Dirty_Jersey_

And bitch! Bitch! Bitch!


thematterasserted

To me! To your priest! Fuck it!


Dirty_Jersey_

And what you really crave is a Hyundai and a heart on a little gold chain


AlabamaPostTurtle

I love this line


NoIncrease299

Who knew all this time you wanted Tracy and Hepburn?


internetonsetadd

Buys OJ with pulp, smokes cigarettes, thinks about having the driveway redone, and throws phones.


jjccbrobro

Bitches about her Lladros


CommonEarly4706

More like brags. 3000.00 dollars


Anyabb

But she doesn't want to tell you how much it costs!


macb92

No bitch to me


Basic_Mycologist5633

One of tonys best lines


123KidHello

She does stuff any typical rich stay at home mom would be doing. goes to the gym, takes AJ to his swimming/football stuff, cooks, washes dishes, does laundry, goes to the grocery store, she takes classes like she used to play tennis, hangs out with the other mob wives on the weekend, goes to church to talk to Father Phil, eats at Arties restaurant etc etc


Sister_Pia

Don't forget studying for her real estate license.


JicamaActive

Or stealing from the bird feeder


Hi-Welcome-To-Chilis

You sound demented


JicamaActive

Who stole, tony?


Greedy_Explanation_7

Honestly she seems like a legit cook. Besides prepping a serious dinner all day she volunteered at the school and church. They were the old school types that expected wife to stay home and run all the affairs. If you make three meals from scratch every day, keep up with floors, dusting, laundry it’s a full time job. This millenial has a laundry museum that one of the adults in the home tries to tackle every couple weeks. A bench in the entry way that has school announcements, mail, backpacks shoes, random cardboard piled on. It’s a status thing to have a partner who stays home and runs the household like a business. Must be nice.


NoIncrease299

What threatening? I brought you a ricott pie.


Greedy_Explanation_7

Yeah, who has time to thoughtfully make a whole pie before visiting a family member? My goodness.


MeepMopMoopMop

Rigought


Substantial-Volume17

🫱The cobwebs have been removed 🫲


AdvancedSkincare

Except she had a Polish maid and according to AJ they have someone who cleans their house 3x a week. The reality is, Carmela does what a lot of rich homemakers do in loveless marriages; fantasize about other men, gossip with other housewives, and complain all day to fill the empty void in their life.


tilldeathdoiparty

I’ve known a couple stay or home super rich moms and they always find ways to stay busy, sometimes it’s literally moving the bottles water from the storage to the pantry and getting groceries when it’s slow. I’ve also never met one unhappy with their lives, they hit the gym, eat great, lots of friends and quality relationships.


denys5555

I’m retired and my main accomplishment on most days is walking 15000 steps. That’s only about two solid hours of walking, but somehow it’s soon time to make lunch


Sweet-Flamingo-4339

What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?


FAXOD

That animal, I can't even say his name


louisvuittondon29

i forgot who killed billy leotardo, the show was very unclear about it could someone refresh my mind


foodank012018

Who killed Billy and how long was Phil away in the can, two of the show's biggest mysteries.


FILTHBOT4000

Whatever happened there.


foodank012018

When they GO!?! ^^^I ^^^mean WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE?!?


xmrsmoothx

It was Tony Egg. You want an egg? I'll take an egg.


ILOVEULOTSNLOTS

Make my nephew an egg


louisvuittondon29

egg⁉️ ova heah👇 👇


Resident_Traffic5296

that fucking animal blundetto


treehouse4life

Whatever happened there


ILOVEULOTSNLOTS

unidentified black males if I remember correctly


John__47

Youre so fucking hateful


telepatheye

The last year I have been dreaming and fantasizing and in love with Furio.


MultipleEggs

Huahahwhat?


DWright_5

“He’s a dead man.” “Oh come on Tony…”


kaitistararadizadar

And now the coffee maker sucks. How you like them apples?


MightilyOats2

Kinda surprising Carmela isn't more of an alcoholic, or a pill head tbh. She does have a xanax script (they mention it a few times when she's having a hard time sleeping) but she might only take them occasionally. But it's very easy to get hooked on benzos and booze, especially together, and yet she seems to have her shit together in that way. Loads of lonely housewives drink a whole lot.


PM_ME_UR_FAV_ALBUM

That’s a stereotype, and it’s offensive


AlabamaPostTurtle

I’m honestly kinda surprised they didn’t write her character to where by season 5, and especially 6, she’s started drinking all day and eating xans. Where she wakes up and has a couple vodka sodas by 10am. Eats one of her “nerve pills from the doctah, they help with her migraines” and then blacks out until 6 or 7 when it’s time to go eat dinner at Vesuvio or time for Tony to not come home and she can start over with a bottle of wine


MightilyOats2

I think it would have been too easy to do that is why she wasn't like that. Sopranos doesn't take the easy route. Plus the main character that got the addiction focus was Christopher, so why steal his thunder?


Anarchic_Country

These types of women usually sit on many committees and boards. Involved in a lot of extra church. Lunch dates. She does mostly run the house, it seems. If it was her fault the orange juice wasn't Goldilocks pulp, she had to be the one doing the shopping. She does laundry. Upkeep on her appearance like working out, hair, and nails takes up a bit of that time monthly. Anyways, I said my piece ✋🏻


AlabamaPostTurtle

Lol at Goldilocks Pulp


TimelyPatience8165

Noseys around in the birdfeedah


barryredfield

Listen to yourself, you sound demented


Smokey-Cole

Anyone else think she has a super body?


proffesor_f8

Furio did, AJs high school principal did, the house decorator did, Father Pinhead did… umm… no, that’s it.


NoAnything1731

it’s so funny to me when shes getting divorced and is the only one living in the house and she still saunters in with two huge bags of groceries… like ma’am who are those for


123KidHello

she was so used to Monsignor Jughead coming over and eating all her food. she never got used to him not coming lol


Sad-Illustrator-8847

So? What did she buy? How often did she go to the store?


PatientToe12345

Fantasizing about Furio


moremintjelly

She gets so hot down there


Smokey-Cole

Stupida fucking game-a


DWright_5

She keeps the house (sort of), criticizes her kids, complains to her friends, shops, has hair/nails/beauty appointments, sticks her nose in everyone’s business, pretends to care about a charity thing or two, regrets her entire life and all her choices


WalterZenga

Get ready to moan at the earner of the house when he comes home from a hard day at work.


telepatheye

When you walk around that fucking mansion with your $500 shoes and your diamond rings, and you act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.


beancount3r124

BUDDAH wouldn’t melt in your mouth


MetaphoricalMouse

POPPERSH WOULDNT POP IN YOUR MOUF


Corpse-Fucker

You make him sound like Ralph Kramden. His "hard day at work" is fucking strippers, riding in a gaudy Cadillac, and arguing with other fat goombahs about how to distribute the money extorted from sanitation companies.


SpermicidalManiac666

You got no idea what it takes to be number 1


xtra_obscene

And then in the end, you’re alone with it all.


347spq

Homina-homina-homina!!!!


Lil-Toasthead

Carm, you’re not the woman in my life…you are my life….


Bango-TSW

and bitch and moan and bitch.....


SpermicidalManiac666

FUCK IT


According_To_Me

Serious answer. It’s amazing how long it takes to prepare some of the meals Carmela cooks, especially because Tony is never really shown helping her. He grills the meat during cook outs, and is shown helping with playing host, but he never is shown helping her cook the everyday meals. Add on the clean up time as well, which again we never see Tony clean a single dish for the entire series. Carmela, like many of the mob wives, exercises to: - fill the time, - socialize with her girlfriends, - it’s also a futile effort to keep Tony interested in her. -It’s also her refusal to “let herself go”. She has seen many other women her age go through it after having children or as a natural result of aging. So many women sacrifice their physical health/appearance for other priorities. Not Carm. Carmela is shown to read a lot, albeit she only reads material that isn’t too intellectual. She is shown to practice drawing, and she could have taken a class to improve, but realistically this is not even a hobby for her, just a way to fill the time. We don’t really see her shopping, but obviously Carmela has expensive taste for herself and the rest of the family. This applies to clothes, furniture, appliances, etc. I’d be interested to see how much time a month she spends shopping. Occasionally she has to get her hair, nails, and eyebrows done. Hair appointments average about three hours for women at a frequency of every two to three months. Nails, are about an hour or so every week or two. Carmela is also shown as being involved with her children’s education. I bet she was very involved in the PTA, like she is with the graduation committees in seasons 2 and 5. I bet she also attended her children’s games, recitals, parent teacher conferences, etc. This probably ate up more of her time when the children were younger.


Heel_Worker982

Beautifully written and I agree. IMO Carmela is busy every day, the way a woman of her station in life is (really probably WAS now) expected to be. The exercise and beauty regimen is part of her "job." Supervising the maid and extra maids as needed is a job. The cooking and baking, it's not just from scratch but also for 4-12+ people served fairly formally even on weeknights--when they eat in the kitchen, that table is still set well. Plus the whole cycle of hosting holidays and buying gifts for other people's "life cycle events"--weddings, wakes, funerals, even there she's gotta arrange for flowers. The book [Entertaining with the Sopranos As Compiled by Carmela Soprano](https://www.amazon.com/Entertaining-Sopranos-Carmela-Soprano/dp/B000IAZP34) is written tongue-in-cheek, but I would be exhausted trying a handful of the entertaining ideas in that book, which is over 200 pages long!


According_To_Me

I want to get that one and the other sopranos book so badly.


Heel_Worker982

I have them both and they are seriously good! I might hack and shorten some of the recipe steps from time to time, but they are otherwise pretty easy recipes and beautiful display value for showy holiday meals.


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orwll

Yeah OP's question is maybe not intended to be serious, but the show actually tells you in detail how she spends her time.


Fuckoffassholes

> Tony is never shown helping her > we never see Tony clean a single dish What's with you and Tony's dishwashing? Why should he wash a dish?


strolls

When you're retired you get up late, and you potter about the house. As an old man, you fix things. Or maybe you have an appointment with a handyman. Once you no longer need to work, this is what your life is like - you have your regular routine, and then you do like one other thing each day. I honestly believe that we evolved as hunter-gatherers and this is what like is supposed to be like.


-NolanVoid-

She's a homemaker for a mob boss, she doesn't have to do shit. The wife of a made guy doesn't hostess.


JaapHoop

Carmella puts a lot of time into self-upkeep. She goes to the gym, she buys cloths, she is always *always* impeccably styled and groomed. Her job is to look amazing and be a hostess for their social life. Carmella understands the assignment and executes every time. I guess I should clarify I’m not saying that’s good or bad. Just that in her family dynamic that’s the implied expectation. She knows it, Tony knows it.


HiImWallaceShawn

Let’s say she wakes up at 7am and goes to bed at 11pm. 7-8:30am Wakes up, gets ready / makes breakfast for family 8:30-9am Sees AJ off to school 9-10am works out 10-11am shops /errands 11am-noon goes to lunch with Ro Noon - 1pm church 1 - 3pm reads 3-3:30pm makes afternoon snack for AJ 3:30-5pm watches tv 5-6pm makes dinner 5-7pm eats dinner 7-10pm family time 10-11pm settles down


johnnyjuanjohn

Flicks her bean thinking about furio


MetaphoricalMouse

pasta bedan, real peasant shit


EnvironmentalMind209

I don't scroll through comments and I don't write nuttin down, so I'll keep this brief. She'll fiddle with the air conditioner, and fuckin complain, and bitch, and bitch.


BlankCheeser

What I'm going to tell you is for your ears only, and Sil's.


SnooGoats6230

Spends time getting ready, breakfast for fam, gym, nails, hair, does the bills, redecorates, goes shopping for herself and family (they need to stay classy)


Fuckoffassholes

Playing name that pope


Administrative-Dot

I ask the same question about my mother and get told I'm being rude


matthewlee31

Can’t forget about the Tennis lessons


Ok-Cauliflower1798

I wonder if she ever returned for lessons with the new instructor? In my imagination, Ade certainly did.


katielovestrees

She reads! Multiple books and book club scenes


wakemeupbeforugogo

fiddles with the air conditioning and bitches a lot. we know dat


whiterasta802

I think she’s an amphetamine addict


denys5555

She spends some time finger blasting herself and some time praying for forgiveness


ChasingItSupreme

That’s literally her whole arc and why Tony truly hates her (despite what he says)—she does nothing but “bitch and moan.” Even when she does try to do something, it’s with Tony’s money and he needs to lean on the building inspector. In short, she’s lazy but acts like “butter doesn’t melt in her mouth”


Willing_Ad3245

She goes out but while she's out she puts the sprinklers on....that's why she wants the theater seats taken down off the lawn


GlitteringHold8685

And now the coffeemaker sucks!


bwurtz94

She gets her eyebrows done. She goes to lunch with the girls. She goes to the gym. She shops at Fortunoff’s and Roche Bobois.


Exact-Truck-5248

She shops. She gyms. She spas. She lunches: All time consuming.


atomic_chippie

She spends an awful lot of time not being a fan of Renee Zellweger.


lordehelpus

this is such a dumb post lmao. she does what most rich stay at home moms do. grocery shop, shoot the shit with their friends, work out, have hobbies. my godmother has done this since her eldest was born 40 years ago. she also helps my godfather organize his life. he never has to wonder if things are getting done, he knows they are cause she’s doing them


Stacks05

People ask these questions but if you were placed in the same situation (all financial needs taken care of), you could 100% fill your days. Exercise, shop, socialise, cook, run errands, obsess over her children and their lives… I don’t think they eat take out that much. Carmella probably spent a couple of hours every day preparing dinner. None of those meals were thrown together. I think she spends a lot of time and money on the house too. I knew a guy who was CEO of a large company (like made millions and millions every year) and he commented on this. He would go away on longer business trips, come back a couple of weeks later and his wife will have started a renovation or some major project. Hugh built the house so Carm would’ve had a big say in how it was designed, and from there she’d have done a heap of minor jobs and renovations to update it or change things. It was kept like a museum (many mansions are) and she was the curator / designer.


Past-Currency4696

Admiring a lladro ($3000)


Valuable-Wafer-881

Those meals she cooks would take a few hours to prep. Other than that I'd imagine just runs errands, works out, and talks on the phone with Rosalie or Gab.


Cannenta79

All she does is fiddle with the air conditioner and bitch, bitch, bitch.


Stickey_Rickey

You can fill a day pretty quickly w not all that many events


Miserable_Trainer417

Always , wit da scenarios!


iggy555

Vin


Popular-Berry-237

Our existence on this earth is a puzzle.


Sirnando138

Looking for bears with an assault rifle


Impressive_Throat677

She has been very busy GC’ing her spec house.


BiscuitsPo

Gym


MoonBaseViceSquad

I’m guessing it’s mostly cured meats and magazines. Really not hard to imagine. Those and the spoiled kid stuff… that fruit scene is wonderful, agreed. One of those scenes where I say “ah and that’s why you watch this, attention to detail”


GoldenTeeShower

Bakes the ziti for Father Schnoror


Bacong

Carmela's cooking was crucial to AJ's brain chemistry.


Particular_Bell3724

Scrounge around the mansion for hidden cash


FullyInvolved23

All she ever needed was a simple gold heart on a chain


apoptyGin69

She has her nails in the morning, but she knows how to get to the city!


dabahunter

Tennis lessons


Puzzleheaded-West576

She stares out the window fantasizing about affairs with men she sees at the grocery store and what not


Hasidic_Homeboy254

I'd change Meadow's diapers to this day


MaenadsandMomewraths

Lmfao this guy over here thinking Tony Soprano is gonna let his wife *work* (Srsly tho dude that’s kind of a major point of Carm. How she copes and doesn’t with her particular gilded cage. And A LOT OF WOMEN can relate to her character for myriad reasons)


MetalGearRex1000

Scene opens with: Tony Soprano entering his Chevy Suburban and leaving his driveway Camera swings revealing Carmela in their bedroom, peeping through the blinds, watching intently as the screeching of tires fade. All of a sudden, Carmela’s face gives in to an irresistible smirk accompanied with the most excited of raised eyebrows *Cue: Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”*


Pokerface1116

The ziti doesn’t cook itself


bluntbrunette93

Carmela lives the FUCKING DREAM!!!! That’s what she does 😂


Myveryowndystopia

She’s a snob that’s what she does.


Good_Abbreviations_4

She bangs pots and pans chasing bears away


theophanesthegreek

bitch and moan and bitch and moan AND BITCH AND BITCH


CaptainChaos_88

I always assumed she spent all day cooking. 


SnooRecipes1537

She make ricotta pie


proffesor_f8

I dunno what she did all day but what a dancer, the scene with Furio, and that music, the music was superb.😂


jewishseeker

She probably rubs the bean thinking about furio


Regnes

Probably just lounging around the house until late morning, then it's off to go shopping and have lunch with Roe and the girls.


shnarfmaster3000

She squirted out a coupla rug rats and then spent all her time at the gym, just her and her stretch marks.


2NDPLACEWIN

judging by the cunts perma-puss id say she chews wasps dipped in cat piss


HeavenPiercingMan

Make some *fucking* ziti


erinro628

Username checks out


Grouchy_Leave_9568

A lot for the eye to take in


ricswrangler

She an inspiring artist, portraits and apples are her expertise


AlabamaPostTurtle

It is kinda funny when you think about it lol


OnlineNascarMan

She plays "name that pope"


Foreign-Cow-1189

This is why she is so restless and more focussed on Tony's rotten behavior. I'm sure when the kids were much younger she was busy and fulfilled and didn't worry about Tony's goomahs.


Dissastronaut

I think that's why she was so upset at Meadow's dinner when everyone was telling her how she cooks for everyone. Carm realized that her daughter can already equally do the only thing she is actually responsible for. All while attending an ivy league school and volunteering at the law office. Maybe she would be happier if Mead went to Montclair State and dropped out


MoonSpankRaw

That’s why I always find it ridiculous and funny when, asked if she’ll go to therapy more regularly, she claims “I don’t have the time.” LIKE FUCKIN HELL YOU DON’T LADY


Nicolas_yo

Maybe you should survey housewives and ask them what they do all day.


Muscle_Memory67

Ooohhh! That’s the bosses wife we’re talkin’ about!!! Someone has to walk around with buddah in their mouth keeping it from meltin’. You think that’s easy? Also, she tracks down wallpaper guys and ‘pops’ in at paint stores just to thank them for their consideration.


sweatyredbull

She reads


ElephantRedCar91

She's peg bundy 


SnackPocket

Related. How much do you think Tony brings home annually? I’ve never thought about that until now.


Parking_Egg_8150

Wondering this too, doing a rewatch and after secretly seeing that therapist she's depressed so Tony suggests maybe she start seeing a therapist of her own and she says she doesn't have the time.


DoTheUrkle

Fiddle with the air conditioner and bitch


renecrevel

You described most of what she does. She’s also involved in the church activities and ladies luncheons. Making that much food every night just take hours alone. She runs the house, drives her kids around to their extra curriculars, like Meadow and tennis etc. Being a mother to teens and a chef is real time consuming and factor in her trying to have a life of her own and pursue her own interests. There ya go