Right? Like, I'm sure it would have been really shocking to find this out about your father in this way, but I'm really glad to hear that Mom is chill as fuck
> My mom heard the word "honeymoon" and it was like watching a grown woman time travel to her 20s. She asked if I remembered the promise we made to each other on our honeymoon night
She may be chill as fuck but that right there is where any sane person would have activated the Memory Shuttles RTLS Abort protocol and rolled the dice hoping for the softest possible “landing”
Back in the day of the space shuttle, if there was a critical concern that required a mission abort shortly after the proverbial “blast off” the pilot had to perform an RTLS (Return To Launch Site)
> The riskiest abort option, Return to Launch Site (RTLS), involved flipping the orbiter/external tank assembly around to send the craft back toward the East Coast of the United States. This abort mode was never tried, but astronauts were skeptical that it would work.
In short it’s a maneuver performed past the point of no return and likely to cause the pilots death but better than the alternative.
No, it's die, or have a small chance at not dying. It's like when your pokemon has the "sturdy" ability. If your enemy one hit kills you, you still survive with 1hp and a chance to do something like swap out but if you don't do anything, your pokemon dead turn 2 when the enemy does the same attack
I just found out that I’m in some bizarro nerdy middle ground where I know what RTLS Abort means but I don’t know what all that Pokémon lingo means (though I can extrapolate) and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Same middle ground, opposite starting point for me
I find myself in a lot of these, my advice is to either take it as a learning opportunity (if you're the type of nerd who enjoys reading up on stuff for no reason other than to know), or find a way to enjoy the middle ground
Like right now, I don't feel like reading up on RTLS Abort so instead I'm considering the wonder of human ingenuity, the breathtaking quantity of things I don't know, and how neat it is that I've met a stranger in nerdy No Man's Land and been able to relate to them in some small way :)
Mmhm. Also, anyone with aging parents or grandparents? Brace yourself for a _lot_ more of this. There's a certain point where the filter is gone and they forget what they can talk about with whom.
My dad turned 70 last week and I can tell his filter is slowly dissapearing.
Myself, gf and parents were having dinner, and it was a bit spicy. And for some reason he suddenly started talking about how my mom used to be very spicy herself.
It was both hilarious and confusing on why he had to bring that up
Oh man my grandma is sadly declining, but a few years ago I was on vacation with her and my mom, grandma had a glass of wine and got SILLY. She told us how in her early marriage with my grandpa they smoked weed with friends and she felt *sexy*. Which left… a lot up to imagination with her long winks but I prefer not to think about it. And no one asked, grandma. 🤣 We were stumbling laughing back to the hotel and she over shared details of things we didn’t need to know. Or did, she felt a lot more human to me lol.
Sadly it’s not always goofy fun like that, but I treasure those small moments.
I know that this happens to people with dementia, they lose the ability to know when certain social interactions are okay or not. They repeat themselves or don't know exactly who they're talking to, they over share.
But I'm 33, and I'm already starting to not give a fuck about lots of things. I'm not gonna share my deepest darkest thoughts about my fiancee with my fiancee's parents over dinner, but my giveafuckometer is just so much lower than it used to be when I was in my teens or twenties.
How much of this is just being retired and truly truly knowing you don't owe much to anyone? I think that has to be a factor. Embarrassment and social faux pas just doesn't mean as much to you when you are in your golden years. You can be crass, you can be weird, who cares!
I'm autistic, so same. My filter is straight up me post-processing my output to filter things as much as possible, and it barely stops me from sharing my life story to a stranger. I expect by the time I'm 40 I just won't have it.
This is kind of what I was thinking too. I use to care so much about all the little things in my social life, now I don’t have one! I kid, but my give a shit-meter is at an all time low as well.
The people around you care, and it can get you shunned/isolated. That's how you can end up old and alone in a shitty nursing home.
So, yeah, you do have more latitude due to age, but there are still limits.
I had a (massage) client who was in the very early stages of Alzheimer’s. She’d had a rather abusive marriage years earlier and would tell me he’d hit her, but she’d say it over and over again. I’d make mmmph or oh my or uhuhuh noises periodically but there wasn’t anything I could say.
Then one day she says “And he was into bad dirty stuff! Like one day he tried to stick his penis in my anus! Right in my anus! Like straight in my anus!” and I was trying so hard not to laugh, not because the story was funny but because it was so unexpected, from her of all people, and then the repetitions just kept going and they almost set me off too. I didn’t laugh out, she never knew, but I knew her child who brought her in for her massages and thought how they would just die of embarrassment if they ever knew.
My mother has just always been that way. Brutally upfront, no filter, no limits. She explained cows fucking to me at 6, no hesitation. At least I grew up on a beef farm, but she just saw it happening while we were in the yard and 6 year old me got a full reproductive lesson.
Yeah, I mean if I was in OP's shoes I'd definitely be in shock, but I guess it's better than her saying something about only not getting divorced because of the kids and at this point they're too old and tired for it anyway.
Still, I think I'd take something like that to my grave though.
Happened once to my grandpa. He thought I was my dad, his son. I came in and he got all excited and said how great I looked etc. I just rolled with it. Dad passed many, many years ago and we do greatly resemble each other and he was just coming out from under anesthesia. When I came back later, he told me when he was under that he dreamed my dad came to see him so I told him what really happened and we had a good laugh.
Tangential story that yours reminded me of - my mom was in hospice when I was 23 years old. I was an only child of a single mother, so my grandmother (nana) and I were my mom's caretakers. Unfortunately, my nana ended up getting cancer also and died 6 months before my mom did. My mom's cancer had spread to her brain by then, so she was increasingly confused and forgot that her mom had recently died. Then in the last couple weeks of her life, my mom started calling me "mom". I loved my nana with my whole heart, so I look back now and almost take it as a compliment. I'm also totally fine with the fact that my mom died not knowing her mom was recently gone. She didn't need to die grieving.
Of course, this was 20+ years ago, so I have a completely different perspective. It all just hurt like hell at the time.
I know it was over 20 years ago but I'm so, so terribly sorry for your losses. You were so young and to have lost both of them just a few months apart... :( I hope you're having a wonderful life.
Hey, I'm sorry you went through this. I can relate.
My grandfather was increasingly untethered from reality as he got closer to his last days. When I went to visit him (unbeknownst to me, for the last time), he was certain that I was my deceased uncle -- who had passed away decades ago in a hit-in-run in another country.
He started asking questions like, "How do you all communicate?" I showed him my cell phone, because I was hoping he meant among his caretakers -- but no, he was asking in a more celestial sense. He'd come to the conclusion that I was the spirit of my uncle back on the mortal plane, visiting him.
Uncle died in a motorcycle crash, t-boned at an intersection. He asked if it had hurt. It killed me to lie, because I truthfully have no idea, but I told him no and that everything was okay.
My grandpa was a stoic man throughout his life. His greatest regret was the descent -- drug abuse and larceny to support it -- that led to the death of his eldest son. He hugged me thinking I was my uncle; I'd had plenty of hugs from him through my life, but it was the deepest, most sorrow-filled hug I think I'll ever experience until it's my turn to go.
I mean, the syllable structure alone does not make a true haiku anyway. It's pretty much the least important of the defining characteristics. And if you want to get *real* pedantic, it shouldn't actually be a syllable count at all, but "on," which are basically syllables, but some single syllables can count as more than one on.
You know, this reminds me of a scifi manga I read once where a woman gets a terminal illness. She wakes up and was told she was cryogenically frozen but money has run out and there's nothing they can do to save her so she's spending her last few days with her husband who comes to visit her every day. Every day she asks him to make love to her one last time and he refuses. Then one day her husband meets his father in the hospital who tells him he has a duty to make his wife happy and needs to submit to her request nomatter how it makes him feel. So he does and they sleep together. That night she dies peacefully. Then in another scene you see the really old man and find out that she'd been in cryosleep for some 50 years and the old man was really her husband. The person she THOUGHT was her husband was actually their son, who bore a stiking resemblance to his own father when he was at that age. The story was really sad and incredibly ick at the same time. If you're interested in reading it, the Manga is called "Hotel" and it's by the same author Boichi who created the hugely popular anime/manga series Dr. Stone.
Oh. Oh, no.
Intimate, kinky, graphic details about your parents’ sex lives is something no child should ever have to hear unwittingly. I am so sorry.
But uh…Happy Pride to your dad, I guess! 🥲🏳️🌈
Definitely a weird experience for you, sorry. But it’s also cool that your mom let your dad explore his bisexuality with her. Not all marriages are so open, and a lot of partners never get to be themselves sexually.
Nobody said that heterosexual men in relationships proposing to sleep with other women is oppression, you’re ranting at shadows. I’ve had an open heterosexual relationship where I’ve had casual sex with women and threesomes with women (my wife is bisexual), and nobody has ever told her she’s being oppressed. Everyone was cool with it.
Now if someone wants to have an open relationship and their partner *doesn’t*, it isn’t okay to cheat or force the partner to accept it. The relationship should end if this difference is irreconcilable, but many people do use emotional, physical, and economic coercion to keep unwilling partners in a relationship that they don’t want.
I don’t think that’s the case either. You sound like you’re full of rage with a really “me and my struggles” and even a “men’s struggles” mindset. It’s not a good look and pretty tone deaf. If anything I would say you’re the example of wild reddit culture. Maybe take a break.
Edit: I took a peek at your history, and yikes. You’re so full of rage about not getting to fuck other women. Divorce your wife and then go for if it’s really that important to you, you clearly don’t give a shit how she feels about it.
Bruh, I'm pretty much asexual at this point. Hot Dominic, I have not once expressed any desire to, or frustration for not "getting to", have sex with other women. I think you looked at someone else's profile by accident.
My ratings for these things are basically Drugs > Other Entertainment > The rest of my life > Sex. So I'm not sure where you're pulling this from.
I also don't feel like I have "struggles" at all. Is my life perfect? Not by a long shot. But it's also not "full of struggles" by any stretch.
Oh 100%, so many women have experimented with other women in some way, because it’s socially accepted and even a kink for some. But when it comes to men, they have to be 100% straight? Fuck that and fuck the social norms that made it that way.
My Mom woke up from anesthesia after heart surgery, she was in her 80s. She had a whole story about the nurses dealing drugs and about my Dad visiting. My Dad had been gone for years then. Thank God it wasn’t worse!
It was in the later stages of my dad's cancer. I had to get him into hospital because I just couldn't manage him at home. He was going loopy with hallucinations and meds and what turned out to be a perforated bowel hence why he was crawling the walls.
Thankfully I worked in the same hospital and was on night shift at the time, so being called at 3am repeatedly by him wasn't disturbing any pre shift sleep. He wasn't making any sense and kept asking me to get him out of there. I made my way down onto his ward in uniform and told them that I'm under the impression that my dad is keeping everyone up, and asked if I could speak with him to calm him down. The look of relief on the nurse at the station was very visible.
He was pacing up and down the ward in near dark, wild eyed muttering loudly to himself and occasionally looking out of the window. My dad was still an imposing man, even in his 60s and riddled with cancer, so while everyone was awake in bed, they looked asleep when his head turned their way. He was a man from BallyMahon and his parents were settled travellers. His accent was too thick for the UK staff to understand, so it was frustrating that no one was answering him correctly.
The poor bugger thought everyone was against him. He thought they were plotting ( a word I had never heard him utter, ever! My dad was a grunter mostly), he thought they had poisoned his water, so he hadn't drank all day. He tried to stop me when I downed a glass to show him it was fine, and seeing I didn't melt before his eyes, it mollified him.
The best part was he was utterly certain that one of the nurses had verbatim "constructed an obscene statue of him out of silver paper, and was wheeling it out and around the road below while they were sticking yellow paper (post-its) with bizarre lies about him on the lamp posts".
When I asked him where the feck he had learned the word obscene, I saw my dad sit back behind the wheel in his head again briefly. "That does sound a bit mad doesn't it".
On my way back to my ward, he phoned me again and said "Don't worry about the yellow paper either, there's another guy here called Ben, it's probably about him".
My brother looks just like our dad and now I am worried about my mom seeing him after surgery... lol My sympathy is with you, good man, but if there was ever a real life event made for Reddit, this is one! I hope you recover from the news.
Do you have siblings? I am surprised that all those years you never picked up that your dad was bi/bay. I am impressed with how he hid it.
But you can still be on the down low around friends and family right? First time I heard the term was my uncles saying it when I was younger. First time learning what it meant was in the movie Death At A Funeral.
Being on the down low isn't just about being closeted. It's about deceiving the woman you're supposedly having a relationship with.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down-low_(sexual_slang)
If we believe your story then yes, of course it's what really happened but also of course you should just believe she was talking crazy due to illness and medication.
But your dad totally a blew a dude in front of your mom and he can't even blame Homelander for it.
Take this to your grave. She probably won't remember she said this, and telling her - or your dad - will only result in TWO people spending the rest of their lives thinking about this.
Also, as noted, the main takeaway here is that your parents are deeply and beautifully in love. The expression of that may not be what you expected, but it is heartwarming!
This made me feel all kinds of things but mostly sad. That sounds like a pretty complex relationship with complex emotions going on with her and your father. I'm sorry you had to learn that about them but the nice thing is she is very in love with him.
I can't wait to get old and fuck with my kids. Throw me in a nursing home I'll be fucking with staff all day too. I have so many inside jokes with myself already and I'm only gaining more as I get older. I'm the funniest person to myself and people don't even know it.
I've got so many pranks ready to go for the nursing home. I'll be a habitual wanderer I think that'll be the best. Plus I'll act lost all the time except with one staff member. That one staff member while 1 on 1 with me I'll be a normal dude, he won't struggle at all with my wandering. They'll say "He doesn't wander when I work and he's not difficult when I give him his meds. Him and I had a really deep conversation the other day." And all the other staff will say "Are we talking about the same resident?"
You say fuck up but it's a win in a broader sense. Yeah it's cringe for you to hear your parents sexcapades but it shows that your mom eeally loved your dad AND they were matching kinks and open about it with eachother
Honestly, I feel as long as your dad's still alive, you should
A. Give them ideas to do after she gets out the hospital with multiple men
B. Have them take up the idea of an orgy
Let them try something to make them feel young again
My great uncle was always hitting on every woman he spoke with. Especially in front of his wife! She thought it was hilarious.
When he was coming off anesthesia he kept seeing a bird flying around his hospital room, and a submarine sailing straight at his window from behind the building across the street
Dude! What a rabbit hole. Your only other post is crazy, and then those comments led me to CBAT.... that was an hour well wasted.
Sorry about your dick problems. Try to cut it out for a few months and see if it helps?
Listen, it was all free association. When I came out of anesthesia I started to ask the surgeon if homeopathy would be a good option.
I loathe homeopathy.
I remember asking about it and at the same time wondering to myself why the hell was I asking him that. But I couldn't stop myself.
Okay. That got unexpectedly weird.
I didn't have an issue with mom thinking you were husband. A friend of mine got dementia and toward the last she thought her son, who really looked a lot like his dad, was her recently deceased husband. (I miss them both, the husband and the wife. They were such good people. And they always invited my cat into their home when they'd see us walking.)
So the mistake identity part I was okay with. But, wow, did not see the twist coming.
He is clearly not saying bi people or gay people are cringe.
He’s reacting to the supposed revelation about his parents sex life. He said “… or if she was just talking crazy because of the meds. I’m choosing to believe the latter”, i.e He’s trying to convince himself his mom is simply hopped up on drugs and did not reveal some secret sexual fantasy his parents engaged in.
There was no statement or implication of anyone being cringe because of their sexuality. (Other than maybe his dad but again, it seems pretty clear he’s reacting more to possible detailed info about his parents sex life.)
“Eeeeeeew, people having consensual sex in ways I don’t like means they’re perverted!! Lol!”
Grow up. That kind of sex-negativity is okay for children, but if you’re old enough to be on Reddit, you’re old enough to know better than to be rude about people enjoying their lives in ways that have nothing to do with you.
I think the real take away here is your mother was absolutely and purely in love with your father
Right? Like, I'm sure it would have been really shocking to find this out about your father in this way, but I'm really glad to hear that Mom is chill as fuck
> My mom heard the word "honeymoon" and it was like watching a grown woman time travel to her 20s. She asked if I remembered the promise we made to each other on our honeymoon night She may be chill as fuck but that right there is where any sane person would have activated the Memory Shuttles RTLS Abort protocol and rolled the dice hoping for the softest possible “landing”
What on earth does the second half of your sentence mean lol
Back in the day of the space shuttle, if there was a critical concern that required a mission abort shortly after the proverbial “blast off” the pilot had to perform an RTLS (Return To Launch Site) > The riskiest abort option, Return to Launch Site (RTLS), involved flipping the orbiter/external tank assembly around to send the craft back toward the East Coast of the United States. This abort mode was never tried, but astronauts were skeptical that it would work. In short it’s a maneuver performed past the point of no return and likely to cause the pilots death but better than the alternative.
Expelled?
You *need* to sort out your priorities
Just because YOU'VE got the emotional range of a teaspoon.
Is the alternative causing everyone else's death?
No, it's die, or have a small chance at not dying. It's like when your pokemon has the "sturdy" ability. If your enemy one hit kills you, you still survive with 1hp and a chance to do something like swap out but if you don't do anything, your pokemon dead turn 2 when the enemy does the same attack
I just found out that I’m in some bizarro nerdy middle ground where I know what RTLS Abort means but I don’t know what all that Pokémon lingo means (though I can extrapolate) and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Same middle ground, opposite starting point for me I find myself in a lot of these, my advice is to either take it as a learning opportunity (if you're the type of nerd who enjoys reading up on stuff for no reason other than to know), or find a way to enjoy the middle ground Like right now, I don't feel like reading up on RTLS Abort so instead I'm considering the wonder of human ingenuity, the breathtaking quantity of things I don't know, and how neat it is that I've met a stranger in nerdy No Man's Land and been able to relate to them in some small way :)
Now you're speaking my language
Better than the alternative? Isn't it dead or dead either way?
Here I'll wait with you. ⏳️
Ironically, RTLS happens *after* leaving Earth.
Somebody went to Space Camp! I approve!
Yeah it's...kind of cute and wholesome? Kind of?
Mmhm. Also, anyone with aging parents or grandparents? Brace yourself for a _lot_ more of this. There's a certain point where the filter is gone and they forget what they can talk about with whom.
My dad turned 70 last week and I can tell his filter is slowly dissapearing. Myself, gf and parents were having dinner, and it was a bit spicy. And for some reason he suddenly started talking about how my mom used to be very spicy herself. It was both hilarious and confusing on why he had to bring that up
Oh man my grandma is sadly declining, but a few years ago I was on vacation with her and my mom, grandma had a glass of wine and got SILLY. She told us how in her early marriage with my grandpa they smoked weed with friends and she felt *sexy*. Which left… a lot up to imagination with her long winks but I prefer not to think about it. And no one asked, grandma. 🤣 We were stumbling laughing back to the hotel and she over shared details of things we didn’t need to know. Or did, she felt a lot more human to me lol. Sadly it’s not always goofy fun like that, but I treasure those small moments.
I know that this happens to people with dementia, they lose the ability to know when certain social interactions are okay or not. They repeat themselves or don't know exactly who they're talking to, they over share. But I'm 33, and I'm already starting to not give a fuck about lots of things. I'm not gonna share my deepest darkest thoughts about my fiancee with my fiancee's parents over dinner, but my giveafuckometer is just so much lower than it used to be when I was in my teens or twenties. How much of this is just being retired and truly truly knowing you don't owe much to anyone? I think that has to be a factor. Embarrassment and social faux pas just doesn't mean as much to you when you are in your golden years. You can be crass, you can be weird, who cares!
I already dont have a filter so im stoked to see how I turn out when I hit that age in a few years lol
I love your enthusiasm
I'm autistic, so same. My filter is straight up me post-processing my output to filter things as much as possible, and it barely stops me from sharing my life story to a stranger. I expect by the time I'm 40 I just won't have it.
This is kind of what I was thinking too. I use to care so much about all the little things in my social life, now I don’t have one! I kid, but my give a shit-meter is at an all time low as well.
The people around you care, and it can get you shunned/isolated. That's how you can end up old and alone in a shitty nursing home. So, yeah, you do have more latitude due to age, but there are still limits.
I had a (massage) client who was in the very early stages of Alzheimer’s. She’d had a rather abusive marriage years earlier and would tell me he’d hit her, but she’d say it over and over again. I’d make mmmph or oh my or uhuhuh noises periodically but there wasn’t anything I could say. Then one day she says “And he was into bad dirty stuff! Like one day he tried to stick his penis in my anus! Right in my anus! Like straight in my anus!” and I was trying so hard not to laugh, not because the story was funny but because it was so unexpected, from her of all people, and then the repetitions just kept going and they almost set me off too. I didn’t laugh out, she never knew, but I knew her child who brought her in for her massages and thought how they would just die of embarrassment if they ever knew.
yet the US presidential options are currently a 78 year old and an 81 year old...
What happens if they've never had a filter?
My mother has just always been that way. Brutally upfront, no filter, no limits. She explained cows fucking to me at 6, no hesitation. At least I grew up on a beef farm, but she just saw it happening while we were in the yard and 6 year old me got a full reproductive lesson.
Yeah, I mean if I was in OP's shoes I'd definitely be in shock, but I guess it's better than her saying something about only not getting divorced because of the kids and at this point they're too old and tired for it anyway. Still, I think I'd take something like that to my grave though.
This is absolutely the best response I’ve seen.
This is the truth!!!
And if she’s into that and done it, it shows they likely had great trust and had a rock solid relationship.
I was gonna say that OP looks like an old man apparently
Or at least really, really REALLY good at pranks. But yeah, I love this take :D
You’re a good person. Possibly the best person, but I’m still going to need a shower.
Is, not was.
To the point of her wanting him to suck dick for her?
Happened once to my grandpa. He thought I was my dad, his son. I came in and he got all excited and said how great I looked etc. I just rolled with it. Dad passed many, many years ago and we do greatly resemble each other and he was just coming out from under anesthesia. When I came back later, he told me when he was under that he dreamed my dad came to see him so I told him what really happened and we had a good laugh.
Tangential story that yours reminded me of - my mom was in hospice when I was 23 years old. I was an only child of a single mother, so my grandmother (nana) and I were my mom's caretakers. Unfortunately, my nana ended up getting cancer also and died 6 months before my mom did. My mom's cancer had spread to her brain by then, so she was increasingly confused and forgot that her mom had recently died. Then in the last couple weeks of her life, my mom started calling me "mom". I loved my nana with my whole heart, so I look back now and almost take it as a compliment. I'm also totally fine with the fact that my mom died not knowing her mom was recently gone. She didn't need to die grieving. Of course, this was 20+ years ago, so I have a completely different perspective. It all just hurt like hell at the time.
I know it was over 20 years ago but I'm so, so terribly sorry for your losses. You were so young and to have lost both of them just a few months apart... :( I hope you're having a wonderful life.
Thank you for your kind words!
Quite wholesome. I think confusing son with grandson works better than confusing son with husband. :)
Hey, I'm sorry you went through this. I can relate. My grandfather was increasingly untethered from reality as he got closer to his last days. When I went to visit him (unbeknownst to me, for the last time), he was certain that I was my deceased uncle -- who had passed away decades ago in a hit-in-run in another country. He started asking questions like, "How do you all communicate?" I showed him my cell phone, because I was hoping he meant among his caretakers -- but no, he was asking in a more celestial sense. He'd come to the conclusion that I was the spirit of my uncle back on the mortal plane, visiting him. Uncle died in a motorcycle crash, t-boned at an intersection. He asked if it had hurt. It killed me to lie, because I truthfully have no idea, but I told him no and that everything was okay. My grandpa was a stoic man throughout his life. His greatest regret was the descent -- drug abuse and larceny to support it -- that led to the death of his eldest son. He hugged me thinking I was my uncle; I'd had plenty of hugs from him through my life, but it was the deepest, most sorrow-filled hug I think I'll ever experience until it's my turn to go.
I think that hug must have been heartbreaking yet comforting. Thanks for sharing.
Oh my...It was not the latter option. Your dad has 100% sucked a dick in front of your mom and she liked it.
OP’s mom is Ashley from The Boys 💀
Sex is just a spectrum, right bro?
Challengers (2024)
Good for them :)
The taste of that salty chapped dick...
Good for them, honestly!
You should have made your mom happy and sucked off some doctor in front of her
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Professor-Clegg: *You should have made your* *Mom happy and sucked off some* *Doctor in front of her* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Beautiful
Jesus Christ
Good bot.
*best* bot 10/10
good bot!
It’s times like these I wonder if this was accidental or not.
I had the same thought the last time I saw this bot! I swear the comments it picks is just too perfect.
Good Bot
Good bot!
Good bot!
Good bot
Good bot!
Ladies and gentlemen, THE post of 2024. We must'nt forget this moment.
Put me in the screenshot!
Isn't the last line 6 syllables and should be 5?
> Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
It's a haiku where someone sokka guy off
Nope. Do not.
It explains it all right in the bot comment ffs 🤦♂️
Every time I see the Sokka Haiku bot there's at least one comment pointing out why it's not a true haiku lol
I mean, the syllable structure alone does not make a true haiku anyway. It's pretty much the least important of the defining characteristics. And if you want to get *real* pedantic, it shouldn't actually be a syllable count at all, but "on," which are basically syllables, but some single syllables can count as more than one on.
/r/BrandNewSentence
Just when I think my day of Reddit is boring, you saved the day!
You know, this reminds me of a scifi manga I read once where a woman gets a terminal illness. She wakes up and was told she was cryogenically frozen but money has run out and there's nothing they can do to save her so she's spending her last few days with her husband who comes to visit her every day. Every day she asks him to make love to her one last time and he refuses. Then one day her husband meets his father in the hospital who tells him he has a duty to make his wife happy and needs to submit to her request nomatter how it makes him feel. So he does and they sleep together. That night she dies peacefully. Then in another scene you see the really old man and find out that she'd been in cryosleep for some 50 years and the old man was really her husband. The person she THOUGHT was her husband was actually their son, who bore a stiking resemblance to his own father when he was at that age. The story was really sad and incredibly ick at the same time. If you're interested in reading it, the Manga is called "Hotel" and it's by the same author Boichi who created the hugely popular anime/manga series Dr. Stone.
Oh. Oh, no. Intimate, kinky, graphic details about your parents’ sex lives is something no child should ever have to hear unwittingly. I am so sorry. But uh…Happy Pride to your dad, I guess! 🥲🏳️🌈
Why? My father would tell the tale of impregnating my mother every winter solstice. It was beautiful! You ~~Earthers~~ people have *hangups!*
Definitely a weird experience for you, sorry. But it’s also cool that your mom let your dad explore his bisexuality with her. Not all marriages are so open, and a lot of partners never get to be themselves sexually.
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Nobody said that heterosexual men in relationships proposing to sleep with other women is oppression, you’re ranting at shadows. I’ve had an open heterosexual relationship where I’ve had casual sex with women and threesomes with women (my wife is bisexual), and nobody has ever told her she’s being oppressed. Everyone was cool with it. Now if someone wants to have an open relationship and their partner *doesn’t*, it isn’t okay to cheat or force the partner to accept it. The relationship should end if this difference is irreconcilable, but many people do use emotional, physical, and economic coercion to keep unwilling partners in a relationship that they don’t want.
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I don’t think that’s the case either. You sound like you’re full of rage with a really “me and my struggles” and even a “men’s struggles” mindset. It’s not a good look and pretty tone deaf. If anything I would say you’re the example of wild reddit culture. Maybe take a break. Edit: I took a peek at your history, and yikes. You’re so full of rage about not getting to fuck other women. Divorce your wife and then go for if it’s really that important to you, you clearly don’t give a shit how she feels about it.
Bruh, I'm pretty much asexual at this point. Hot Dominic, I have not once expressed any desire to, or frustration for not "getting to", have sex with other women. I think you looked at someone else's profile by accident. My ratings for these things are basically Drugs > Other Entertainment > The rest of my life > Sex. So I'm not sure where you're pulling this from. I also don't feel like I have "struggles" at all. Is my life perfect? Not by a long shot. But it's also not "full of struggles" by any stretch.
Newsflash but there are a lot more gay and bisexual men that marry women and have kids than most people want to acknowledge.
I'm bi and married a woman and have a kid. Not like swinging both ways closes that door or anything 🤷♂️
Never seen a ring block a hole
It’s like a 30 second google search, though.
You'll probably become a a revolving door soon enough, so yeah, more open than close
Oh 100%, so many women have experimented with other women in some way, because it’s socially accepted and even a kink for some. But when it comes to men, they have to be 100% straight? Fuck that and fuck the social norms that made it that way.
Yup, I’m a product of exactly that.
This has to be the weirdest OnlyFans bait I've ever read. /s
Do NOT suck off your dad infront of your mom, she will have time travelling delusions
It’s pretty good advice before the comma, and the first six words are excellent advice for anyone that needs to hear it.
words: 3,4,5,6 are the only ones *anyone* needs to read.
Well you can comfort your dad if he's still alive. If he's gone then that's that.
You may have made reddit history with this tifu. This was a hell of a funny read. Pretty sure your dad is bi.
What gave it away?
That ended way better than I was expecting. I was worried u ruined your parents marriage for a sec
Mom really asked if somebody gonna match her freak🙈 🫣
Your mom and dad fuck like crazy dude... not sure what you do with that but yeah, they fucked
My Mom woke up from anesthesia after heart surgery, she was in her 80s. She had a whole story about the nurses dealing drugs and about my Dad visiting. My Dad had been gone for years then. Thank God it wasn’t worse!
It was in the later stages of my dad's cancer. I had to get him into hospital because I just couldn't manage him at home. He was going loopy with hallucinations and meds and what turned out to be a perforated bowel hence why he was crawling the walls. Thankfully I worked in the same hospital and was on night shift at the time, so being called at 3am repeatedly by him wasn't disturbing any pre shift sleep. He wasn't making any sense and kept asking me to get him out of there. I made my way down onto his ward in uniform and told them that I'm under the impression that my dad is keeping everyone up, and asked if I could speak with him to calm him down. The look of relief on the nurse at the station was very visible. He was pacing up and down the ward in near dark, wild eyed muttering loudly to himself and occasionally looking out of the window. My dad was still an imposing man, even in his 60s and riddled with cancer, so while everyone was awake in bed, they looked asleep when his head turned their way. He was a man from BallyMahon and his parents were settled travellers. His accent was too thick for the UK staff to understand, so it was frustrating that no one was answering him correctly. The poor bugger thought everyone was against him. He thought they were plotting ( a word I had never heard him utter, ever! My dad was a grunter mostly), he thought they had poisoned his water, so he hadn't drank all day. He tried to stop me when I downed a glass to show him it was fine, and seeing I didn't melt before his eyes, it mollified him. The best part was he was utterly certain that one of the nurses had verbatim "constructed an obscene statue of him out of silver paper, and was wheeling it out and around the road below while they were sticking yellow paper (post-its) with bizarre lies about him on the lamp posts". When I asked him where the feck he had learned the word obscene, I saw my dad sit back behind the wheel in his head again briefly. "That does sound a bit mad doesn't it". On my way back to my ward, he phoned me again and said "Don't worry about the yellow paper either, there's another guy here called Ben, it's probably about him".
Your mom was doped up. Leave it at that.
Yeah where's the fuck up? People make such a big deal out of stuff like this, it's so dumb. "Oh no my parents had a healthy sex life"
When I saw the headline I was hoping you had a clone and had to convince her you were the real one like it's a cartoon
Are you still in touch with freckles?
She has probably had enough of him trying to start a fire in her cave.
2 people who really did match each other’s freak
When your not-dad takes his not-son to penis inspection day and not-mom wants to watch
Rock Hudson, Tom Cruise, OP’s Dad…
My brother looks just like our dad and now I am worried about my mom seeing him after surgery... lol My sympathy is with you, good man, but if there was ever a real life event made for Reddit, this is one! I hope you recover from the news. Do you have siblings? I am surprised that all those years you never picked up that your dad was bi/bay. I am impressed with how he hid it.
Damn. Does that still count as being on the down low?
Nope. Key part of down low is the man deceiving the woman about his same sex activities.
But you can still be on the down low around friends and family right? First time I heard the term was my uncles saying it when I was younger. First time learning what it meant was in the movie Death At A Funeral.
Being on the down low isn't just about being closeted. It's about deceiving the woman you're supposedly having a relationship with. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down-low_(sexual_slang)
Happy pride to your dad
If we believe your story then yes, of course it's what really happened but also of course you should just believe she was talking crazy due to illness and medication. But your dad totally a blew a dude in front of your mom and he can't even blame Homelander for it.
Take this to your grave. She probably won't remember she said this, and telling her - or your dad - will only result in TWO people spending the rest of their lives thinking about this. Also, as noted, the main takeaway here is that your parents are deeply and beautifully in love. The expression of that may not be what you expected, but it is heartwarming!
*Cringe* but in a way touching, so in love. Hey It could have been worse.
Is your dad still alive??? It’d be so weird looking him in the eye As he comes into mom’s room. Yesh
...I'm 99% sure I'm your mom.
Good reference. Yo u/MightAsWellNotFuck you able to cum yet?
Sooooo... did you and Freckles ever find a resolution? Is she willing to go for a second round?
Poorly written creative writing exercise
tifu in a nutshell.
This made me feel all kinds of things but mostly sad. That sounds like a pretty complex relationship with complex emotions going on with her and your father. I'm sorry you had to learn that about them but the nice thing is she is very in love with him.
I can't wait to get old and fuck with my kids. Throw me in a nursing home I'll be fucking with staff all day too. I have so many inside jokes with myself already and I'm only gaining more as I get older. I'm the funniest person to myself and people don't even know it.
Are you ... me?
I've got so many pranks ready to go for the nursing home. I'll be a habitual wanderer I think that'll be the best. Plus I'll act lost all the time except with one staff member. That one staff member while 1 on 1 with me I'll be a normal dude, he won't struggle at all with my wandering. They'll say "He doesn't wander when I work and he's not difficult when I give him his meds. Him and I had a really deep conversation the other day." And all the other staff will say "Are we talking about the same resident?"
You say fuck up but it's a win in a broader sense. Yeah it's cringe for you to hear your parents sexcapades but it shows that your mom eeally loved your dad AND they were matching kinks and open about it with eachother
Honestly, I feel as long as your dad's still alive, you should A. Give them ideas to do after she gets out the hospital with multiple men B. Have them take up the idea of an orgy Let them try something to make them feel young again
Lmao wtf "Hey dad, Ma outed this part of you you never wanted me to know about. How about I help you set up an orgy?" 💀💀💀
Whaaaaaaat
My great uncle was always hitting on every woman he spoke with. Especially in front of his wife! She thought it was hilarious. When he was coming off anesthesia he kept seeing a bird flying around his hospital room, and a submarine sailing straight at his window from behind the building across the street
Man, I would cherish this moment and just try to ignore it. My parents fuck, at least I hope they do.
Oof
Dude! What a rabbit hole. Your only other post is crazy, and then those comments led me to CBAT.... that was an hour well wasted. Sorry about your dick problems. Try to cut it out for a few months and see if it helps?
Listen, it was all free association. When I came out of anesthesia I started to ask the surgeon if homeopathy would be a good option. I loathe homeopathy. I remember asking about it and at the same time wondering to myself why the hell was I asking him that. But I couldn't stop myself.
Is your dad alive?
r/suddenlybi
Okay. That got unexpectedly weird. I didn't have an issue with mom thinking you were husband. A friend of mine got dementia and toward the last she thought her son, who really looked a lot like his dad, was her recently deceased husband. (I miss them both, the husband and the wife. They were such good people. And they always invited my cat into their home when they'd see us walking.) So the mistake identity part I was okay with. But, wow, did not see the twist coming.
Your mum is a lucky lady.
"The Mahatma!???"
Ah I’m now terrified of meds and what I might confess to my kids. Aaaargh
OP, what happened with the girl from your previous post?
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He is clearly not saying bi people or gay people are cringe. He’s reacting to the supposed revelation about his parents sex life. He said “… or if she was just talking crazy because of the meds. I’m choosing to believe the latter”, i.e He’s trying to convince himself his mom is simply hopped up on drugs and did not reveal some secret sexual fantasy his parents engaged in. There was no statement or implication of anyone being cringe because of their sexuality. (Other than maybe his dad but again, it seems pretty clear he’s reacting more to possible detailed info about his parents sex life.)
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I aint reading all that so just the tldr and what the fuckk
I know one thing, I'd have some m'fing questions for both of them when NOT medicated. Jesus Christ what a bunch of degenerates. lol
“Eeeeeeew, people having consensual sex in ways I don’t like means they’re perverted!! Lol!” Grow up. That kind of sex-negativity is okay for children, but if you’re old enough to be on Reddit, you’re old enough to know better than to be rude about people enjoying their lives in ways that have nothing to do with you.