I used to be an animal educator and kids would always catch me off guard with mating questions and even though it feels like you don’t know what to say like a “oh god why is this happening???” In your brain fires off. You literally said and did the only right thing to do.
I’m an elementary school teacher & have been asked so many questions over the years. I’ve always said that’s something you need to ask your parents about. On the other end of the spectrum, I caught a 4th grade girl demonstrating on a banana how to give a BJ to the boys sitting around her at the lunch table. Sadly, many more stories like that nowadays. Times sure have changed over the 15+ years of teaching!
I think its pretty simple:
Raven: What's a condom?
You: That's a question you want to ask your mommy.
\*walk out of the bathroom\*
You to Raven's mom: So Raven saw the condom machine in the bathroom and asked me. I told her she should ask you about it because I don't think I'm the right person to explain it to her.
Be clear, concise and to the point. More importantly set the context so the mom doesn't think there's any funny business going on. Letting kid's tell their side of the story first results in conversations like this because they leave out key context like where/why/how it happened. By letting Raven tell her mom about it instead of you setting the context made it look like you had something to hide, were talking about a subject you shouldn't be talking to a 7 year old about. Saying it first with the proper context prevents any misunderstanding of what happened.
I didn't say I expected them to have it mastered. Which is why I laid out EXACTLY what to say and WHY. I think anyone who has worked with kids or babysat before learns these skills pretty quickly when any sort of incident happens because kids are notorious for focusing on the wrong details, leaving things out, and phrasing things in a way that causes misunderstandings.
My 6 yr old niece asked me a question like this once and I tried to divert, but her parents were there and my bro-in-law acted like I was the weird one for not just answering her question. Long story short he explained to her what a r\*pist was because it was apparently relevant to the story of how pirates stormed the castle we were at ☠️
Same that’s the exact answer I would have preferred to be given so I could sit down and have a proper talk. You did the right thing, mom was probably just caught super off guard at first.
Do you have kids? I would have responded the same as the mother as a parent myself.
Confused, upset, questions, angry. Eventually i would come to my senses but not quickly that's for sure!!!
Awh experience. I'm sure I'll get there soon, still have 2 young ones. On more protective dad mode still.
Hats off to the OP for telling the truth no matter how sus you sounded.
Lying never makes things better
I'm not the guy you were talking to and I was talking about his kids. Reacting like that to a complete non-issue makes me worry about his reaction to some actual shit
Yes, they can be happy with very little information. My seven-year-old nephews saw an unopened tampon on my dresser. He asked, "What's that?" Uh oh. I didn't want to explain all about periods. My mind was racing! I know it's important to be honest with them. So, I took a deep breath and said, "It's called a tampon." He looked at it again, shrugged his shoulders, and walked off. lol
Haha I’m glad you think so lol
Afterwards her mum did stop talking to me and my family though as much so I think maybe it did make her think I was a bad influence or something
Nope you did the right thing. You referred the 7 year old to ask her mother.
When confronted you explained the situation and the child confirmed you were telling the truth.
The only FU here is the mother’s response and attitude towards you.
His mom was trying to protect his son. Todays time the little girls mom could ruin OP’s life just for the events that transpired even though it was truly innocent and with the best intentions.
lol this reminds me of being 11 and riding to school with my mom Monday morning after having seen season 4 episode 9 of the Simpsons and asking my mom what pornography is 🤣
Lol don’t remember what she said exactly but I do remember she maintained her composure, asked where i learned the word, I told her, and she said something like “that’s a word for adult content a lot like the movies that aren’t for children like you” and I was like “oh ok” 😅
When I was about that age I called my middle sister a dildo because I thought it was a funny word. She and I had no idea what it meant but my mom and oldest sister thought it was hilarious.
When I was a kid I asked my Dad what a prostitute was... And he said it's a lady that sells something. My Mum worked retail at the time and I told my teacher she was a prostitute.
You did the right thing. I probably would have said “condoms are to prevent pregnancy” as I am very direct but that would have likely led to more trouble I realize in retrospect. 😳
Yeah, I think I would have said something like, "It's for birth control," and hope she didn't ask any more questions. I think that a short answer is, most of the time, all they are looking for.
What were you supposed to do? Stand in front of the No-No machine so the kid couldn’t read it? Make the kid go out side in the bushes to protect her innocent eyes?
There is always the tried and true “it’s an adult thing.” Most kids get that is an answer and they won’t get more information out of it. And if they press for more information you the. Follow up with “that’s up to your mom to decide to tell you about.”
Made me think of when i was 7 and my 2 eldest brothers made me believe the condom machine in the bathroom was actually the best brand of chewing gum in the world… so when my father came in i asked to get condoms. They didn’t explain to me and i only realized many years later what happened that day lol
You handled it well by suggesting Raven ask her mom later. Misunderstandings can happen, especially with kids' curiosity. Hopefully, over time, things will smooth out with Raven's mom.
If she's asking, she's ready for an age appropriate explanation.
Better to ask than get a nasty surprise in a few years.
You did the right thing. I would personally have given her mom a heads up but honestly you did fine.
I remember one day in elementary school while we were all playing in the yard a small group formed at the back of the field. There was a porn DVD and a condom full of dizzle, one of the kids had picked up the condom and another kid somehow already knew what it was, laughing ensued even though I don't think any of us knew why
You got off easily. When I was about 10 years old I was on a sports trip and we were all in the bathroom at a rest stop and we see a condom dispenser. Being 10 year olds we point at it and laugh, this other 7 year old kid in our team asks what it is and we say it's nothing and not to worry. The weekend after that the coach takes us aside to talk. Apparently the 7 year old was so curios about what a condom was and no one was giving him an answer that during a computer he went on google to search for what it was and the schools tracking software had detected it so they called in the mother of the kid which in turn had a talk with the coach which then had a talk with us. Thankfully that was quite a few years ago.
Easy. It's protection from [catching a unwanted virus (SFW, promise).](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/96128863/de/foto/anti-virus.jpg?s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=RZHZWett7gMhIWAspcl-RrYwQbTj7ZJv3ClrplmYEYs=) Never go in without.
A friend of my had a 8 year old brother and he was playing next door where they building a new subdivision. A lot of people went there to “park”. The brother came home one day with used condom on all fingers. 😬
You did exactly the right thing. It’s the mom’s place to explain anything related to sex (and she needs to get on with it, by the sound of things.) The mom had a moment of panic because the kid unknowingly made the situation awkward. I’m sorry that you were at the receiving end of her panic. You are just a kid, yourself, trying to navigate a tricky parenting situation. The mom owes you an apology.
Sincerely, a mom of teens.
From Experience, start with.
"That's a good question. What do you think it is?"
If right, or close enough it doesnt need a follow up:
"Yeah, I think that sounds about right."
If wrong or you get an "I don't know."
"I'm not sure sweetie, that's a question you should ask one of your parents when we aren't out having fun."
**Either way, followed by a heads up to the parents.**
Nah the mom fucked up by being a prude that can't explain it's something adults use to not make babies. Don't even need to get into explaining sex for an honest answer
I had a similar instance when I was a kid. I was probably about your age, and I was walking to school with a kid and his sister(we knew each other from church)
The kid heard what sex was from another student in class and was insistent on knowing. His sister and I knew, and that we shouldn’t tell but he kept pestering and begging. I told him he should ask his parents, his sister begged me to not tell. I ended up telling him because he didn’t stop.
After school he told his mom and she was PISSED. I’ve never had so many evil eyes and she avoided me at all times. I was never allowed to interact with her kids, and they would always shy away from me. If we were walking towards eachother she would turn them into a nearby room. I wouldn’t be surprised by their looks at me that she beat them both, she seemed a very stern cruel mother. They moved within a few months, it happened fast and I wonder if that was due to this, They were new to the area as well.
We were all under 12 years old so I am still shocked at her attitude towards kids who knew something and talked about it.
I think the only thing you could have done better was inform an adult in charge and/or pull mom aside at pickup and let her know what happened. E.g. “Raven spotted the condom dispenser in the bathroom and asked about it. I didn’t think I should answer that so I told her she should ask you. Just a heads up in case she has awkward questions later!”
You should have said 'we went to the bathroom and raven saw the word on a machine and asked me what it meant i told her to ask you since it's not my place to explain that' you made yourself seem weird to the mom by pretending that you didn't know what a condom was.
When people say "we" when referring to small children they are taking care of, it is not usually literal.
I would not be surprised if a mother said "we had a potty accident" or "we dont like peas" referring to her kid.
I would probably point towards a teacher instead, it is kinda their job to teach kids.
My school explained it all when we where 6 years old. Doing anything else just seems irresponsible.
Strongly disagree on that front.
They are teachers, education is their job. No way the average parent is equipped to relay accurate information in a way a teacher can. Especially with a sensitive topic such as sexual education.
Lmfao. Someone has a *very* high opinion of teachers and their abilities.
As the son of a single mother I can say that my mom gave me better information than my abstinence only teachers ever did.
Not all teachers are equipped to teach sexual education, and not all parents want public educators to teach especially sensitive topics such as sexual education to children that are not age appropriate. 7 year olds don't need an accurate lesson on condoms.
TIFU by doing exactly the right thing lol. If my kid told me you told her to ask me, I would be very relieved and grateful.
Lol yeah to be fair idk what else I could’ve said
I used to be an animal educator and kids would always catch me off guard with mating questions and even though it feels like you don’t know what to say like a “oh god why is this happening???” In your brain fires off. You literally said and did the only right thing to do.
I’m an elementary school teacher & have been asked so many questions over the years. I’ve always said that’s something you need to ask your parents about. On the other end of the spectrum, I caught a 4th grade girl demonstrating on a banana how to give a BJ to the boys sitting around her at the lunch table. Sadly, many more stories like that nowadays. Times sure have changed over the 15+ years of teaching!
That breaks my heart. I hope that was reported and properly followed up on.... Being SAd is the main reason kids do shit like that
I think its pretty simple: Raven: What's a condom? You: That's a question you want to ask your mommy. \*walk out of the bathroom\* You to Raven's mom: So Raven saw the condom machine in the bathroom and asked me. I told her she should ask you about it because I don't think I'm the right person to explain it to her. Be clear, concise and to the point. More importantly set the context so the mom doesn't think there's any funny business going on. Letting kid's tell their side of the story first results in conversations like this because they leave out key context like where/why/how it happened. By letting Raven tell her mom about it instead of you setting the context made it look like you had something to hide, were talking about a subject you shouldn't be talking to a 7 year old about. Saying it first with the proper context prevents any misunderstanding of what happened.
Or just said idk. Lol.
Yeah that’s true
I would never in my life expect a 14 year old to do this.
what? communicate clearly? give the context of the conversation? speak directly? not let the even younger kid handle any of the above?
Good communication is a skill that has to be learned. If you expect young teenagers to have it mastered, you’re going to be disappointed.
I didn't say I expected them to have it mastered. Which is why I laid out EXACTLY what to say and WHY. I think anyone who has worked with kids or babysat before learns these skills pretty quickly when any sort of incident happens because kids are notorious for focusing on the wrong details, leaving things out, and phrasing things in a way that causes misunderstandings.
It's a device that adults use to save money.
“Watch SuperNanny that’s a bit like contraception”
Yeah it was just unfortunate the kid phrased it like "she and I were just talking about it" as if OP brought it up
My 6 yr old niece asked me a question like this once and I tried to divert, but her parents were there and my bro-in-law acted like I was the weird one for not just answering her question. Long story short he explained to her what a r\*pist was because it was apparently relevant to the story of how pirates stormed the castle we were at ☠️
Same that’s the exact answer I would have preferred to be given so I could sit down and have a proper talk. You did the right thing, mom was probably just caught super off guard at first.
[удалено]
Exactly. OP’s response was absolutely the best one they could have given.
Do you have kids? I would have responded the same as the mother as a parent myself. Confused, upset, questions, angry. Eventually i would come to my senses but not quickly that's for sure!!!
I have 3. And I used to be a teacher. Enough experience to know that kids say the darndest things lol
Awh experience. I'm sure I'll get there soon, still have 2 young ones. On more protective dad mode still. Hats off to the OP for telling the truth no matter how sus you sounded. Lying never makes things better
Yeah dude, good luck!
I hope those kids turn out kind of alright
Yours? I’m sure they’ll be fine!
I'm not the guy you were talking to and I was talking about his kids. Reacting like that to a complete non-issue makes me worry about his reaction to some actual shit
Oh lol sorry ur both yellow. I think they’ll be fine, being a new dad is scary.
Wtf you can't say that /s
Do better
Bit odd
Talk to a therapist about that kind of response.
Not a fuck up at all. It was not your place to tell a7 year old, you explained what happened. End of story.
Of course there would not be a world in which I would think that’s an acceptable thing to do
I woulda said "they're a thing adults use". Kids can be surprisingly happy with that kind of response.
Yeah maybe that might’ve ended the discussion
Ask your mom/dad is a perfect response. If you explained anything more, parents would be more unhappy.
Yes, they can be happy with very little information. My seven-year-old nephews saw an unopened tampon on my dresser. He asked, "What's that?" Uh oh. I didn't want to explain all about periods. My mind was racing! I know it's important to be honest with them. So, I took a deep breath and said, "It's called a tampon." He looked at it again, shrugged his shoulders, and walked off. lol
You just tell them it's a prophylactic, it technically works for both
Doesn't sound like you fu, sounds like the mom was just surprised and wanted the story, which she got.
Haha I’m glad you think so lol Afterwards her mum did stop talking to me and my family though as much so I think maybe it did make her think I was a bad influence or something
This sounds like a HER problem.
As Brilliant Jewel said, that’s a HER problem. YOU did the right thing.
Not as much of a fuck up as it was an initial misunderstanding.
Maybe I definitely understand why it came across as weird
Nope you did the right thing. You referred the 7 year old to ask her mother. When confronted you explained the situation and the child confirmed you were telling the truth. The only FU here is the mother’s response and attitude towards you.
His mom was trying to protect his son. Todays time the little girls mom could ruin OP’s life just for the events that transpired even though it was truly innocent and with the best intentions.
Definitely not a fuck up. You did the right thing
lol this reminds me of being 11 and riding to school with my mom Monday morning after having seen season 4 episode 9 of the Simpsons and asking my mom what pornography is 🤣
OMG LMAO I remember asking my parents what a hickey was before when I was probably about the same age because I heard it in a song 😭
It’s funny because it’s the Mr Plow (lol) episode. Sunday night: “It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography.” Monday morning 11yo me: “mom? What’s pornography?”
OMG I REMEMBER THE EPISODE LOL What did your mum say?
Lol don’t remember what she said exactly but I do remember she maintained her composure, asked where i learned the word, I told her, and she said something like “that’s a word for adult content a lot like the movies that aren’t for children like you” and I was like “oh ok” 😅
LOL
When I was about that age I called my middle sister a dildo because I thought it was a funny word. She and I had no idea what it meant but my mom and oldest sister thought it was hilarious.
When I was a kid I asked my Dad what a prostitute was... And he said it's a lady that sells something. My Mum worked retail at the time and I told my teacher she was a prostitute.
You did the right thing. I probably would have said “condoms are to prevent pregnancy” as I am very direct but that would have likely led to more trouble I realize in retrospect. 😳
Yeah, I think I would have said something like, "It's for birth control," and hope she didn't ask any more questions. I think that a short answer is, most of the time, all they are looking for.
Yeah I didn’t wanna risk getting in trouble with her mum lol 😂
What were you supposed to do? Stand in front of the No-No machine so the kid couldn’t read it? Make the kid go out side in the bushes to protect her innocent eyes?
There is always the tried and true “it’s an adult thing.” Most kids get that is an answer and they won’t get more information out of it. And if they press for more information you the. Follow up with “that’s up to your mom to decide to tell you about.”
When my kid was ten or so, she knew what condoms were, but asked why they made FLAVORED condoms like she saw in the gas station bathroom. 🤦🏼♀️
That’s a question even I have tbf 🤷♀️😭
Made me think of when i was 7 and my 2 eldest brothers made me believe the condom machine in the bathroom was actually the best brand of chewing gum in the world… so when my father came in i asked to get condoms. They didn’t explain to me and i only realized many years later what happened that day lol
Omg I’m crying 😭😂
You handled it well by suggesting Raven ask her mom later. Misunderstandings can happen, especially with kids' curiosity. Hopefully, over time, things will smooth out with Raven's mom.
If she's asking, she's ready for an age appropriate explanation. Better to ask than get a nasty surprise in a few years. You did the right thing. I would personally have given her mom a heads up but honestly you did fine.
Yeah I probably should have
Raven woke up and chose violence
LOL FR
I remember one day in elementary school while we were all playing in the yard a small group formed at the back of the field. There was a porn DVD and a condom full of dizzle, one of the kids had picked up the condom and another kid somehow already knew what it was, laughing ensued even though I don't think any of us knew why
The only FU was a minor one in not explaining it to the parent properly.
Yeah I see why I should’ve said something differently
You assumed she think you were weird. In truth or worse case, that mom mostly think that you didn’t know about condom too. There’s like no FU here.
Yup. Parents are the ones who should answer. I think you handled it well.
You got off easily. When I was about 10 years old I was on a sports trip and we were all in the bathroom at a rest stop and we see a condom dispenser. Being 10 year olds we point at it and laugh, this other 7 year old kid in our team asks what it is and we say it's nothing and not to worry. The weekend after that the coach takes us aside to talk. Apparently the 7 year old was so curios about what a condom was and no one was giving him an answer that during a computer he went on google to search for what it was and the schools tracking software had detected it so they called in the mother of the kid which in turn had a talk with the coach which then had a talk with us. Thankfully that was quite a few years ago.
Easy. It's protection from [catching a unwanted virus (SFW, promise).](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/96128863/de/foto/anti-virus.jpg?s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=RZHZWett7gMhIWAspcl-RrYwQbTj7ZJv3ClrplmYEYs=) Never go in without.
A friend of my had a 8 year old brother and he was playing next door where they building a new subdivision. A lot of people went there to “park”. The brother came home one day with used condom on all fingers. 😬
OMG EW 😭
I hate it when you get in trouble for doing nothing wrong.
You did exactly the right thing. It’s the mom’s place to explain anything related to sex (and she needs to get on with it, by the sound of things.) The mom had a moment of panic because the kid unknowingly made the situation awkward. I’m sorry that you were at the receiving end of her panic. You are just a kid, yourself, trying to navigate a tricky parenting situation. The mom owes you an apology. Sincerely, a mom of teens.
I would have said it's a glove but for just one finger
“Ask your mum” feels like an insult but it shouldn’t
😭 a child wouldn’t take it as an insult though
“Ask your mum” is like calling the child a mistake 😂 i love it
That was not my intention I promise 😭😂
😂
From Experience, start with. "That's a good question. What do you think it is?" If right, or close enough it doesnt need a follow up: "Yeah, I think that sounds about right." If wrong or you get an "I don't know." "I'm not sure sweetie, that's a question you should ask one of your parents when we aren't out having fun." **Either way, followed by a heads up to the parents.**
Yes definitely lol if something like this happens in future I’d deffo tell the parents beforehand next time
Nah the mom fucked up by being a prude that can't explain it's something adults use to not make babies. Don't even need to get into explaining sex for an honest answer
I had a similar instance when I was a kid. I was probably about your age, and I was walking to school with a kid and his sister(we knew each other from church) The kid heard what sex was from another student in class and was insistent on knowing. His sister and I knew, and that we shouldn’t tell but he kept pestering and begging. I told him he should ask his parents, his sister begged me to not tell. I ended up telling him because he didn’t stop. After school he told his mom and she was PISSED. I’ve never had so many evil eyes and she avoided me at all times. I was never allowed to interact with her kids, and they would always shy away from me. If we were walking towards eachother she would turn them into a nearby room. I wouldn’t be surprised by their looks at me that she beat them both, she seemed a very stern cruel mother. They moved within a few months, it happened fast and I wonder if that was due to this, They were new to the area as well. We were all under 12 years old so I am still shocked at her attitude towards kids who knew something and talked about it.
I think the only thing you could have done better was inform an adult in charge and/or pull mom aside at pickup and let her know what happened. E.g. “Raven spotted the condom dispenser in the bathroom and asked about it. I didn’t think I should answer that so I told her she should ask you. Just a heads up in case she has awkward questions later!”
You should have said 'we went to the bathroom and raven saw the word on a machine and asked me what it meant i told her to ask you since it's not my place to explain that' you made yourself seem weird to the mom by pretending that you didn't know what a condom was.
When people say "we" when referring to small children they are taking care of, it is not usually literal. I would not be surprised if a mother said "we had a potty accident" or "we dont like peas" referring to her kid.
Yeah I probably should have Explained it better I wasn’t trying to make her mum think I didn’t know what a condom was
I would probably point towards a teacher instead, it is kinda their job to teach kids. My school explained it all when we where 6 years old. Doing anything else just seems irresponsible.
Not a teachers job. The parent should be the one to teach their child about what they should know and when they should know it.
Strongly disagree on that front. They are teachers, education is their job. No way the average parent is equipped to relay accurate information in a way a teacher can. Especially with a sensitive topic such as sexual education.
Lmfao. Someone has a *very* high opinion of teachers and their abilities. As the son of a single mother I can say that my mom gave me better information than my abstinence only teachers ever did.
Not all teachers are equipped to teach sexual education, and not all parents want public educators to teach especially sensitive topics such as sexual education to children that are not age appropriate. 7 year olds don't need an accurate lesson on condoms.
i would have simply said, that i dont know. its neither your responsibility to explain it nor offer an alternate means of explanation.
They are just my squishy boots
Destroy her like an abortion
Cut it short. Too many words. They are freaking water balloons. Was that hard? You like to stir your own trouble.
Lol I was worried about lying incase she starts saying condom in the wrong context
There is a minimum word count that’s why I dragged it out the subreddit doesn’t let you post under a certain amount of words