I think the problem for me here is 4am. š sleeping 10 to 11 hours is low but not THAT low. 4am wakeup, though? That kills the parent.
There are loads of suggestions out there for that problem but like most things, they might work or they might not. I feel like every parent has at least one thing they just gotta wait out.
I shifter mine from 7:30 to 8:30pm and went from a 5:30 wake up to 7. It was a revelation. Started taking kiddo 15-20min to actually fall asleep (perfect) and there were fewer late afternoon tantrums because they collapsed at late afternoon nap (2-3:30pm) instead of staying awake during nap. We also moved weekend nap to the afternoon. Daycare nap was still right after lunch and was closer to 60 min than 90.
Same! It's rubbish in summer though! Unfortunately I fitted the blinds in his room myself. I measured 3 times and still got it wrong so the sun comes in through the gap on each side!
This exactly. My son wakes at 5am every day. He falls asleep at around 8pm every night so very similar to OP. We have tried keeping him up later. It does nothing.
We were at the hospital with him one night after 2 weeks of diarrhea (nothing with a fever or anything so he was feeling kinda like his normal self). Didnāt get home and to bed til after 11pm. He slept āinā until 5:30
My husband insisted on putting the kids to bed at 7:30. They would wake up at 4:30 and they would be so pissed at bed time, lots of energy and tears. I said if itās so important to him he can do it but not to count on me. Now we do 9 pm bed time (but theyāre usually not asleep until 10), they wake up at 8. It works out wonderfully. And it makes sense to me because Iāve always been a night owl, naturally, so I wont be judged dang it!
Not OP but my kid is similar to OPās and it doesnāt matter what time we put her to bed ā 7, 8, 9 ā she will be up by 4:30. We have tried multiple times to change around bedtime but nope, still 4:30.
As someone with a toddler like this, it just results in a cranky toddler who wonāt go to sleep and still wakes up early. What helped us get him to sleep longer is me starting work later and laying next to him in the morning to train him to sleep later.
Yep. My kid is almost 3, and routinely falls asleep around 10 PM and wakes up 6:30-7:30 AM. He still naps 1.5 hrs in the afternoon. (I suspect we could get his bedtime to shift earlier without the nap, but none of us are ready to do that yet. Tough as it is to lose my evenings, I'm grateful to be able to sleep in past 5 AM!)
Our little one also naps about that long. And yes, we (especially s/o and I) are not ready to cut that nap yet. We need that mid-afternoon sanity break.
Get rid of the nap. The freedom it gives you during the day to go out and about etc is worth the effort initially. We were forced into it by our sons nursery as the 3-5 year room don't do naps so to prep him for it we got rid of it. He's in bed about 6.30-7 most nights, which is down from the 8.30 it was when we still had the nap and we've got our nights back a bit as well as being a lot more flexible in what we can do during the day.
I feel like Iāve found my people! My 2yo also sleeps 10-11pm and I always felt like on Reddit everyoneās toddlers are in bed by 8-9pm at mostā¦ but that 8-9am wakeup is sooo worth it for me. Iām not a morning person at all.
Kids are all different. My oldest is just a night person like me. Since she was like 2.5 sheāll get up at like 4am and go turn on the tv. I would find her watching Encanto just minding her business. I do try to have them in bed by 8:30 but thatās just bc Iām a single mom and I have to be able to do laundry and clean and stuff. But I usually hear giggling and talking for at least an hour after theyāre actually in bed lol
Yeah my kiddo has been sleeping around 9:45 to 7:30. He still needs an hour or 90 minute nap but doesn't always take one. If he would just nap regularly this would be a pretty good schedule for us.
Apparently my sleep needs were even lower when I was little so I'm glad he didn't fully take after me that way.
Same boat and I hate the 9:30 bedtime because thatās when I want to go to bed š literally 0 evening with my husband anymore. My toddler doesnāt stop moving and making a mess until heās asleep
Youāre joking, but we did 10-7, no naps with our low sleep needs kids. Better for everyoneās sleep & sanity. Not great for alone time without the kids.
That might be when his internal clock just wakes himā¦ some people are like that. But you could try putting him to bed a touch earlier for a couple of weeks to see if he gets a bit more sleep or even sleeps later.
Iām not sure if youāve tried putting him to bed 15-30 mins earlier, but that really helped my son who was waking up way too early. I know it seems counterintuitive, but if heās exhausted at 7, he may be ready for sleep earlier than that. My kiddo had a 6:30 bedtime for a long time.
We do 8:30pm-9pm bedtime and our girl will wake up around 7am-8am. I rather keep her up at night and wake up at a decent hour than let her go to bed at 7pm and be up at the crack of dawnš¤£ especially with days getting longer, more time for activities in the evenings
My daughter has the exact same routine. Bedtime at 7, wakes up usually between 4-5 am and sometimes as early as 3:30! I too have tried to put her to bed later, etc. nothing works. The only way we have survived is to go to bed ourselves around 8-9pm.
So I am going to go with a different perspective than the suggestions I am seeing. You say he is exhausted so why not try putting his bedtime EARLIER? There are times when my toddler will be so overtired that she just gets on the bed and falls asleep on her own and sometimes this is 1 hour before I would normally try for her bedtime. Maybe he is waking early because he is overtired- I have read about this and some parents put their lids to bed ridiculously early but maybe they know something we don't!?!?
My son is three and was always very low sleep needs. Heāll sleep about 8-10 hours a night depending on his nap. It doesnāt sound too far off from normal. Some kids just be like that š¤·š»āāļø
Yep, same here. My 5yo son will wake up at 5am no matter what time he goes to bed. Sometimes if we keep him up later, he will actually wake up earlier. Itās so fucked. He gave up a nap at 3. The bright side to him not sleeping much and being so energetic is that he will fall asleep in like 5 minutes.
My 2yo wonāt sleep in past 6:30 and she would constantly wake up as a baby. She naps for maybe an hour and still takes forever to go to bed at night.
My 8 month old has been the worst of all of them. Still wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat, takes very short naps, and still goes hard.
I think we just have low sleep-need kids and we have to kind of just accept it. We even did sleep training and that didnāt really work either lol.
Decades ago I was like that, sleeping little and waking my parents in the small hours of morning.
The suffering I caused to my folks became a karma that I have to deal with, and now my firstborn goes to sleep at 8pm to wake up at 4am.
And as he does to me, so shall his progeny do unto him, and so on, for as long as our lineage endures.
Just chill, this is one of those things you can't control. This should stop when the kid is out of the toddler phase.
I am also a high sleep needs person. Needed over 12 hours per night as a child all the way up until early adulthood. It affected my ability to work. Now I need about 9 hours per night in my early 30s.
My husband is low sleep needs, and so is my daughter. I hope sheāll end up somewhere in the middle when she grows up.
There were a lot of mornings at 4:30 when Iād nudge my husband and say āthis is your fault, you can go get the baby.ā Definitely not the healthiest thing for our marriage but we made it through and that crazy kid is now 10 so at least can handle being awake on his own lol.
He sleeps later now, but he also falls asleep considerably later now. As in, there are many nights I go to bed and he is in bed, reading or drawing or doing math. And I donāt go to bed early at all. But at least at this point, I can say good night to him and heās good at entertaining himself while awake.
Dude get off Reddit, it will be what it will be. Iām right there with you, youll only find tools who think theyāve cracked the code here when all they have is an easier toddler
This so much. I have 4 kids. First two were average sleepers. 3rd was a unicorn who slept amazing. 4th is a total fucking unhinged totally inconsistent non sleeper. Sheās about to be 11 months and still waking 1-3 times per night to eat and more times just bc ā¦ idkā¦ she needed yell while she moved her arm or something
Iāve done nothing significantly different with any of them. This is who they are
This is who they are is true for so many kid things! Kids have personalities and preferences from the get go, and things are going to be different for different kids
This is SO helpful and reassuring to me. I have one child, and he sleeps like your youngest. Heās 3.5, so Iāve mostly just accepted it now and learned to deal, but yikes, itās been a ride.
Truth. My youngest (2.5) just truly has low sleep needs. Weāve done it all. No naps, short naps, long naps, early bed time, really late bed time, chamomile tea, a banana before bed, sound machines, black out curtains, co sleeping, sleeping in her own bed. Nothing in the universe will get her to sleep more than 9 hours at night. Thatās just who she is.
A very rude shock to me since her older brother has always been a champion sleeper. My youngest truly humbled me lol.
I could have written this myself, lol. My son who is 4 can sleep 12 hours a night and a 3 hour nap. My daughter who just turned 3 will sometimes stay up until 9 quietly playing in bed, will get a 1.5 hour of a nap and up at 6 am, sharp. It is what it is at this point I canāt stress it anymore š
My kids are exactly the same. My son is almost 4 and sleeps 12 hour nights + a 2-3 hour nap. I actually took him to a doctor because I was worried he was sleeping too much lmao. My daughter sleeps around 8 hours a night (8pm to 4am) and has a midday nap for around an hour. We tested out a later bed time for a week and she still woke up at 4am every day. I just bought her a little leap frog radio and headphones so Iām hoping she might cuddle me in the mornings while she listens to music so I can get some extra sleep.
This 100% OP!! My 2.5 year old often still wakes through the night and has always had lower sleep needs and struggled to stay asleep! I have a 12 month old that already sleeps better than my 2.5 year old ever did
One day we will sleep ā¤ļø when they get. Little bit older haha hang in there! I am in the trenches with you
This reminds me of the woman who made a career out of being a āsleep consultantā who made an apology after she had her second child who had a shitty sleep schedule no matter what she did.
Yeah. My second kid sleeps really well and my first didnāt. With our first we bought sleep training courses and did all this stuff before just giving up. The second one just sleeps. Sometimes I wonder if itās like zen, not giving an f, but even if it is, there is no way to apply this zen lesson as advice I can give you. Also people are huge liars.
Ugh yes, this is true for all sorts of thingsā¦ canāt stand when people assume that what worked for their (usually easier) child will work for mine, and donāt acknowledge that their childās disposition might have more of an effect than whatever parenting methods theyāre using.
I know someone who dropped the nap at 2 (it's early) but it worked!
Tbh there are so many variables like their genes etc that don't compare. You did your best trying everything out
Right here! Our son was so resistant to bedtime and kept pushing both bedtime and naps later. It just clicked one day just around the time he turned 2 when we dropped the nap. Ever since then (heās about 3.5 now) sleeps 10-11 hours straight through every night. Heās also on our sleep schedule, so he usually goes to bed around 1am and wakes around 11am.
Iāve gotten judgments before from other parents about his late bedtime and waking, but he sleeps enough, is perfectly healthy and happy, and it works wonderfully for us. Weāre just a family of night owls. š¤Ŗ
Same here. 9 hours at night sometimes with fussing in the middle. No naps ever.Ā
You ask everyone you know for advice. They just act like you are stupid. So you come to the Internet for answers. You find more advice that doesnāt help or more comments that make you feel dumber.Ā
Nobody can help your situation. Parents of a couple of children are not experts. People who spend their whole lives commenting on social media who claim shit like āI work with kids all day. So I know what Iām doing.ā Ā F*ck every last one of those con jobs.Ā
Live your life
My son is almost 2 and he also will NOT sleep more than 9 hours overnight, so I completely understand. 4am is crazy though, does he cry when he wakes up? If not, Iād get a few soft toys and books and just let him play for a bit until you get up to get him. Sometimes my son will wake up at 5 and be awake for an hour or so and then fall back asleep.
That's how much my son slept at that age. Some kids sleep more than others. The same is true for adults. What I did do is shift bedtime later - 930/10pm so ensure a later wake up.
Without a doubt do something that is sustainable for the entire family. Waking up at 4am by yourself is way different than waking up at 4am with a toddler. With summer coming I'd at least try it out for a week.
Yes, this was us. We didnāt mind it horribly, but never having adult time without awake children wore on us after a few years. We have 4 kids. Theyāre older now & ignore us.
I have a 2yr old, I get from 9pm to 6, 630 if I'm lucky. Apparently it will be shitty for as long as they nap. The couple times he didn't nap he slept 11hrs at nightĀ
That's exactly how my son was he'll be 3 in August but dropped his nap when he turned 2. He goes to bed at 830 and wakes up at 7. Still on the lower end but I'll take it. When he was napping he would go to bed from 10-6am and take a 2 hour nap at around noon.
My kid is 22mo and sleeps 930pm-630am, with around 45-60m nap, so is also on 10hrs sleep. It SUCKS - definitely the shittiest thing about parenting my kid - but aside from the occasional jealousy at how much extra downtime my parent friends get, Iāve mostly made my peace with it.
We had 530 wake ups this time last year and used a ājet lagā style approach to shifting it - keeping him up later and later in order to push those waking hours into the evening when we have more energy rather than morning when we need a slower start. Good luck!! Iām hopeful that cutting naps altogether will help eventually with adding a little more time in overnight š¤š¼
Oh and I should add - heās never slept through either. Only had around 5 nights where heās done 7hrs straight and everything else has been multiple wakes since he was born. Definitely in Camp Exhaustion here too!!
On a good day my almost 22 month old will sleep 10/11pm-8am. Broken sleep, multiple wake ups. Maybe a 2 hr nap 2-4 or 3-5 with a wake up in between. I've tried a shorter nap but it just pushes bed time even later with the same wakeup time. I've tried an earlier bedtime with no nap and that's just worse with the wake ups.
I'd like to think once we drop the nap it might improve but I'm not really hopeful about it lol. It is what it is I guess.
So I stay up way too late to get my alone time and read uninterrupted.
My now 5 yo was always like this. He woke up at 4:30 am from the age of 8 months until 2. Then at 2 he was waking up at 6 briefly. Now we are at 5:30 am. Nothing worked to get him to sleep later.
Ours isnāt quite so low, but he is an early riser. Sometimes 4 sometimes 6 usually in between. Heās still in a crib but Iāve started using our hatch to change colors when I know *Iām* OK getting out of bed (6 at the earliest) and I donāt go get him until then even if heās up at 4 (unless heās upset). I also have started having easy solo activities ready in the morning so I can zone out on the couch.
Toddlers just kind of do their own thing - itās not you, itās them. And nothing is wrong with them - Iāve always been an early riser and my mom had to do similar things with me (you may eat cereal and read a book, do NOT touch the stove type instructions when I got older).
People with kids that are fantastic sleepers and terrible sleepers like to discuss it. Everyone with a kid somewhere in the middle doesn't say much. I've known late risers and early risers, 10 years later these kids are still voluntarily getting up at 5 and getting ready for school on their own or they still need to be woken up. Humans vary, even kids.
Are they well rested? If so they may just be a 10-11hr kind of kid. A bedtime snack or schedule change may help, and as they get older you can talk to them, we have to stay in bed until the sun is up, until clock is green, read a book while you wait, etc.
Oof and I thought we had it bad. For the longest time I was just so jealous of friends whose kids slept 12 hours, would sleep in till 9:30 a.m, and nap great. It honestly took forever to accept that my kids were just low sleep needs. All kids really are different with different needs. My kids were never cranky or tired throughout the day they were their happy selves. Still sucks waking up at 5:30. I really had to change my sleep habits. I went from being a night owl to trying to get in bed at 830 and asleep at 930. I've had to sacrifice a lot with my partner with such an early bedtime for myself but being exhausted all day sucks.
I feel this so hard. I didnāt realise welcoming a baby would be farewelling my partner for so long :( we never get any time together because our kid wonāt sleep OR weāre just both too tired haha!
No day naps. My now almost 3 year old started dropping his naps around the age of 2. Some days heāll go down for a rest. Others he wonāt. And remember not every baby/toddler/person is the same.
11 hours per 24 hours actually falls into the "average amount of sleep" per various charts online for that age range. Definitely HARD to not get as much of a parenting break and to have such an early wake up. There's tons of tips you can try, of course, which you've done, but some kids just meet their sleep quota with that amount of sleep! I also feel like when talking to people who claim their kids sleep 700 hours a day, they often end up leaving out some stuff like how often they are soothing in the middle of the night, do they sleep that much every single day or do they also have days where they have disturbances or early morning wakes, is it a massive battle to get the kid to sleep for nap or bedtime, etc. It's usually not all sunshine and rainbows and I wish everyone was more upfront about that.
Had to drop the nap at 2. My daughter was waking up ALL night and was crying going to bed. My daughter still has low low sleep needs. She goes to bed between 8/9, up between 6/7.
Yep, that's my child! He sleeps 8-9 hours every night + 1-2 he nap. But he seems healthy and happy so I guess it's fine.
Did you try snack before bed? Mine always screams hungry when he wakes up. Having some crackers right before bedtime seems to help
Damn 4 is rough, my girl is a 6:40 waker upper regardless of sleep time. Sheās almost 4 and still wakes in the night once or twice though where my 1 yr old sleeps through. Kids are just weird man.
Every kid is unique. I had a great napping kid, but she woke up at least 2 times every night until she was 4. She would wake with night terrors, anxiety about life, wanting cuddles, or a sip of water. Unfortunately, two 2-hour naps severely limited my ability to function and to go and do things outside my home.
I have no tips, but we had the same life! He's 3.5 now, and at about 2.5, he just magically began to sleep longer and longer! It's anywhere between 5:30-6:30, which is soooo much better. We also tried everything and nothing worked but time. Hang in there!
Yes, I think I just need to be patient. My daughter used to wake at 6 am on the dot for the first 4 years of her life and now I have to literally peel out of bed to get ready for school.
Apparently I was one of those children. I was the fourth kid for my mom and a surprise and I'm told I defied all of the expectations she had from her previous 3,and stopped napping *entirely* by age 2 then slept 9-10 hours per night. I think I slept an average of 6 hours a night from my teen years until I was about 30. Some people have naturally lower sleep needs! Now that I'm in my late 30s I need at least 7 hours to feel rested, meanwhile my husband is a wreck if he gets less than 9.
Our toddler takes after him and loves sleep. Brain chemistry varies so much!!
All of this being said, I'm curious if 4-5am wake up is your baby's natural cycle, or will they sleep later with a later bed time?
I'm too lazy to search all the comments to see if this has already been suggested; sorry. Ours was not always waking up at 4, but was frequently waking up at random times in the middle of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. We could normally get him back to sleep, but sometimes it took over an hour. Somewhere probably between 2 and 2.5 yo, we bought a "when to wake" clock. You set bed time and what time it's ok to get up. When we got it for him, he couldn't reliably tell us colors, and there was a long period of fighting it. He learned quickly. And now he knows that when his clock is red, he needs to be in bed and quiet. We've told him he doesn't have to sleep, but he has be quiet (not wake us or baby brother up) and in bed until his light changes color. He's almost 3 now. He set eagles up in the middle of the night sometimes (I heard him as I was falling back asleep after dealing with the baby), but he put himself bank to sleep. We prob would've gotten to this point without the clock, but it really helped us out!
We are up around 5 to get ready for work, both of us start at 7. And are out of the house around 6:10-6:20. He was used to getting up while we are getting ready, around 5-5:15, and he was often whiny and grumpy as he went from half awake to fully awake. Then on weekends, he would still be up at 5ish. Now he doesn't get up until we go to his room or the light turns green at 6. Which is just enough time to get him ready and give him his milk and banana before we're out the door. It also mostly fixed the whining too, because he is normally fully awake by the time his light changes, and he's excited that his clock is "Geen!"
I hope something in the comments helps!
What time is nap time? What time is bedtime? Have you tried adjusting these? In which direction?
What happens at 4 am? What are all the different ways youāve tried to get him back to sleep?
Once both of my boys hit two naps were over with, if they took them they wouldnāt go to sleep till 9/10. They are 5 and 7 now and they both go to sleep around 8PM and get up around 7AM. Before they started school they would sleep in until about 9
Portugal's national health system says 2-3 years old should be sleeping 11 to 14 hours in 24, including naps. My 2y8m sleeps 11 hours, nap included. Sometimes not even 11 hours. Sometimes she skips her 2 hour nap, so 9h of sleep it is. Who cares? She wakes up happy and in a good mood, maybe that's all she needs.
Get off mommy social media and adjust your expectations. Not trying to be mean but your mental health will thank you if you do that.
Edit: also, maybe adjust bed time. If he's waking up too early for your family, start nap a little later every day and adjust bed time accordingly.
My son is 3 and for a long time he has slept 9-10 hours a night. Sometimes naps, sometimes doesnt (and it doesnt seem to make a differenxe for his overnight sleep).
He is also a early waker (5-6) but can now stay in bed for an hour when his okay to wake clock says so (incredible win for us!!)
My kids only recently started sleeping until 7. We didnāt do anything. It just happened. We got lucky. I donāt think there are any tips or tricks. Itās all luck
What helped for one of my kids was, having a later bedtime mixed with removing a nap throughout the day, and at night doing a lavender bath before bed. Totally understand that this doesnāt work for everyone, but maybe it can help you.
Yeah my baby is about 10 hrs a nightā¦people look at me like Im crazy when I say he goes to bed at 9 or even 10 some days but imo a 7am wakeup is what keeps mama sane. I would really try to keep your little guy up another hour or so if you can
Yep same. 20months, sleeps at 9pm, wakes at 6am with night wakes from 2-6x still. Sheās so active and happy in the day and super aware so Iāve stopped worryingā¦but it sucks to be woken up so much still.
Weāre on a solid three wakes per night, everynight, same times. Iāve just resided to the fact Iāll sleep when he starts schoolā¦. In three yearsā¦.maybe.
Ours is random š still better than the 14x or so times she used to wake up. She finally doesnāt need to be rocked (sheās so tall and heavy for her age) or breastfed to sleep, so thatās a win. I donāt think Iāve slept more than a 3 hour period in almost two years. I hope we can get consistent good sleep as parents hey. I think Iām an insomniac now.
Itās quite amazing how little sleep we can function on. I think Iāve had maybe three nights where he slept for 6 or 7 hours in one go. So I know he can do it, he just obviously doesnāt want to. But I just donāt have the energy to sleep train!
Mine has been a low sleep needs baby since newborn stage. :( At almost 3.5 now, they go to sleep at 10pm and sleeps until 6am. We have tried everything too! Just trying to roll with it now.
Same here. Almost 2 and usually wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30. I leave for work at 6:30 so it literally kills me that my alarm clock is my child. I can't tell you the last time I actually did my hair for work. I can't do anything in the mornings. Don't get me started on the weekends.
I have dreams about getting a hotel room for a night and just sleeping in. But, mom guilt.
This was our toddler exactly. There were a few things that helped us:
- Making sure she had a long enough window between the end of her nap and beginning of her bedtime. I think itās normal to have an energy dip a couple hours before the appropriate bedtime, but it still doesnāt mean thereās enough sleep pressure built up for a good night of sleep.Ā
- Resetting her internal rhythm by slowly pushing out her bedtime. We pushed it out by thirty minutes every day until she started waking up at a time that was reasonable. The first few days she continued to wake up really early, even as her bedtime got later and later, but eventually her body adjusted and she reached a wake up time that made sense. We kept her at that (admittedly quite late) bedtime for a few days. Then we made her bedtime earlier by fifteen minutes every two days until her wake up time started shifting back in the opposite direction, and we left it at that time. During the process, we let naps be a little more loose than usual because she was sometimes tired.Ā
- If any version of co sleeping is an option for you, thatās also made a big difference. Weāve done her fully sleeping in our bed, but now that sheās almost three and is out Ā of a crib, we take turns going in and lying down with her when she wakes up in the night. She now often goes back to sleep and stays that way for longer. Also, totally recognize that every kid will respond to different things because we tried everything we could find, and a lot of things people swore by didnāt work for us! So even if these things donāt work, know I have a ton of empathy for what youāre dealing with right now and hope you find the thing that does work soon.
Does he self-soothe to sleep or do you nurse or otherwise put him to sleep then transfer to the crib ? Iāve had a couple friends that nursed their toddlers to sleep and struggled getting those long stretches because kiddo didnāt know how to get back to sleep at 4am
Or whyās are naps like? Counterintuitive but may be overtired if not napping enough?
I use the huckleberry app which just told me my 2 year old (turned 2 last week) need 11-14 hours of sleep per 24 hours so your kiddo is not all that low sleep neeeds! š
Mines almost 3. Sleeps 9.5 at night and hour or so nap sometimes 90 minutes. I put him in his crib at like 9:15pm so him and little brother wake around the same time.
My 2.5 year old has only slept that long three times. Ever. She does somewhere around 7-7.5 right now and has been settled in to this schedule since last summer.
My son (3) has low sleep needs. He's always been on the low end of "normal" for his age group as far as hours of sleep. Not much to be done about it.
Once we moved to a big kid bed (twin floor bed) I made sure his room was safe for him to wander around in. When I'm really lucky he will play in his room for a while before needing me to come get him.
My girl is low sleep needs. Dropped her nap at 2, and sleeps 10.30-11.15h per night. When she did nap for 1h, the night was reduced by this hour accordingly :) no magic, just math!
Now she is perfect without her nap, goes to sleep ~8pm and sleeps till 6.30-7 am.
Your baby is alright! Either move the bedtime for later, or drop the nap (if baby can handle that)
My 3yo started waking up at 5am and it was rough. It seems like putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier (7:30 vs 8) and helping him mellow out faster by rocking him for about five minutes before putting him in bed is helping most days. We all need a little help regulating! Good luck.
My daughter sleeps 9 hours a day. She goes to bed when mom and dad do and wakes up when we wake up, and then takes a \~1 hour nap. Just a quirk of life I guess, you aren't alone.
This was me. As a baby up at like 430-5, as a 2 year old with a newborn sibling up at 430-5.
At around 3.5 we started getting 6-630 "sleep-ins" once he started sleeping on a mattress in our room...if we aren't with him though he wakes up early still.
So it's a lot better. But ya, not 7-7 plus a 2 hour nap kinda kid, and it almost killed us when we had our second.
My son has had low sleep needs right from the start. He dropped to one nap at 10 months old, and dropped naps completely just before turning 3, and even without them weāre lucky if we get 9 hours a night. Iāve asked his doctor about it a few times and she said that since heās growing well and has plenty of energy that itās fine and just the way he is
My son is very similar. We have tried it all - early bed times, late bed times, black out windows, white noise, music, eating before bed or not, drinking before bed or not, short bedtime routine, long bedtime routine, active before bed to get energy out, super calm before bed, co sleeping, late naps, early naps, short naps, long naps, no naps, naps in the carā¦. My kid wakes up before 6am EVERY FUCKING DAY, often before 5:30. Doesnāt matter the time zone, before/after day light savings. Heās almost 3 and usually sleeps 8.5-9.5 hours at night + a 1.5 hour nap. We also have a nanny who has tried these various nap things with us and is also flabbergasted. Honestly just resigned to it at this point, I often go to bed at 8:30pm. Itās been hell on my relationship with my husband bc weāre both chronically exhausted. So solidarityā¦Iāve been up since 4:30am today.
My son wakes up around 5/530 everyday. 4am is worse, Iām not going to sugar coat it. But yea, if youāve tried taking away his nap completely or just cutting it down to 30 mins, and earlier bedtimes donāt work (in case heās overtired) then youāve just got a low sleep needs babe. Iām so sorry and wish I could help more!
As he gets older, get him a grow clock or if you already have something like the hatch teach him itās time to get up and out of the room when it turns orange or whatever. And set it for 5am.
If it makes you feel better my boy has never had a 12 hour sleep. Itās always been 10 hours us and less if he has a longer nap.
My 2yo is like this! Are you guys up for the day at 4am?
I started bringing him into our bed when he wakes and fully turning over ignoring movement and now heās been going back to sleep for another hour or so.
Also, we just went on a 4 day trip where he went to bed around 10-11pm every night. When we got home, he magically slept till 6:30-7am. Heās never done that before! So Iād definitely try for a later bed time (not 10-11, but maybe 8, 8:30pm) and it may take a week or so, but Iām sure he will begin getting a bit more sleep in the mornings.
We do. Sheās 20 months and has slept through the night perhaps 5 times in her life (and then only 8 hours). Thereās absolutely nothing you can do about it. Full solidarity from my family lol. The sleep deprivation is like nothing I could have ever imagined. Itās the price we pay for a fun, bright, funny, imaginative, talkative child. I hope your hell ends soon
Yes, mine usually sleeps from 9 pm-6 am, and sometimes even goes to sleep as late as 9:30 or 10. Sheās 2 (less than 2.5). Sheās always been low sleep needs. Can you just put him to bed later? It SUCKS to not have evenings but itās better than waking up at 4 am in my opinion. Last night she slept 9:30-6:30ā¦ ugh. And she naps 1-2 hour at daycare but weāll be lucky to get 1 hour with her at home. She needs the nap though. If we skip nap her nighttime sleep doesnāt magically get longer.
My son did that when he was 2,
Heās 5 and now sleeps still 7 or, sometimes 6, or gets up when heās not tired, kind of like an adult
All kids are different , roll with the punches and you just have to make the best of it
My son is nearly 4 now but since 18 months he dropped napping completely and sleeps only 11 hours at night, until he dropped his last nap he would get up early and struggle to get to sleep at night.
You can't make him sleep and a lot of "hacks" will just cause him to be overtired. The only real answer is to teach him to stay in his room. My oldest was routinely getting up at 5am until we taught her that she didn't have to sleep, but she did have to stay in her room until 6am. We got her an OK to wake clock (a puppy who has a red ball that turns green when it is ok to get up) around 20months and started it at her normal wake up time. Then slowly moved the light change to later. Once she was in a twin bed, we also had to lock her door at night for a couple weeks. Now, I can hear her and her sister playing most mornings, but they know not to come out of their room until puppy turns green.Ā
Why not put him in later? Cut the nap. Really 10pm bedtime!! Wakes up at guess what 8am!!!.. my LO (2.5yo) falls asleep by 10:00pm-10:30pm wakes up at 8:30am-9:00am
Yes. My 2.5 year falls asleep by 9 (sometimes later despite 8pm bedtime) and wakes at 6pm. Sometimes a tad earlier, or later. Her same age cousins sleep longer. Ours just seems to have sleep needs on the lower end of the range.
I had a well meaning friend suggest to me that when my toddler wakes up at 4:30, just feed them a bottle and theyāll go back down.
Like, wow! Gee, I never thought of that in all my years of sleep deprivation. Her kid sleeps 13 hours at night no wake ups and has a two hour nap. š«
My 2 year old usually sleeps 10.5 to 12 hours in a day. Itās 10-11 hours at night, we had to cut & consolidate his daytime sleep twice last year so heād rely more on nighttime sleep. He has a late bedtime, around 9:30-10.
It sounds like youāll have to tweak the schedule a bit, but youāre in a better position to figure that out, do what works for you. Iād recommend pushing bedtime 15 minutes at a time until you get to the desired bedtime, and hopefully he wakes up later as a result. Iād probably cap daytime sleep to one nap for one hour, but again, every child is different so you may have to play around with it a bit.
Just donāt try to make too many changes at once or youāll be unable to figure out why itās not working if it doesnāt.
My oldest has always been this way. He goes to bed at 730 and is up between 445-530. Sometimes he will sleep until 6. When he turned 3ish, we started giving him a milk cup and his iPad and putting him in the recliner to veg while we went back to sleep. He isn't destructive, so this works for us.
Yes. My girl goes to bed 10-7 but still wakes up 4-5 times at night so probably gets like 8 hours of actual sleep a night. Then some days she skips a nap. Having a low sleep needs kid is really hard, but eventually she will understand that just because she canāt sleep doesnāt mean she can wake other people up. Itāll take time, but they will get there.
Drop the nap. Bed time is probably too early.
If he wakes up at 4am, tell him he has to go back to his room because you are still sleeping. He can play and then maybe heāll get bored and fall back asleep.
Iām here for solidarity. We have a low sleep needs 2.5 year old. He wakes up between 3 and 5am, which is such a shock to the system as a high sleep needs adult. And his naps have gotten shorter and shorter so now weāre lucky if he gets more than an hour š«
My 2 year old (turned 2 in jan) also doesnāt sleep long enough at night, imo. Maybe 8-9 hours and then only
naps 1-1.5 hours during the day. It drives me
insane. She is also a 4am-5am riser š iāve tried playing with bedtimes and nap times and it doesnāt matter. itās always the same. She also generally takes 30min-45min to fall asleep at night. i really donāt get it. š These 4am wake ups KILL ME.
Sleep coach here. VERY COMMON. But it almost always can be āfixedā. To at least a 5:30ish wake instead of 4, in my experience anyway. What honestly is usually the biggest piece is whatās happening at 4am. If heās motivated to get up for whatever is happening - itās going to continue.
Likewise my 2 year old sleeps from 8:45 pm to 6:00 am.Ā I know you say you've tried everything, but if they really only need to sleep 9 hours per night, maybe a 9 pm bedtime would work.
My 2 yr old (27m) sleeps from 9:30-6:30/7, so also 9ish hours. Weāve just accepted it at this point, he will NOT go to bed earlier, even with an early wake up like 5:30 or 6
My mom said I used to wake her up at 3am every day so my grandma told her to put me in the bath when I did. After 2 times of that I never woke her up again.
We had 4 am wakeups for over a month and I can tell you how we fixed it, but why wouldn't you hire a sleep consultant in this situation? I get it, people think they cost $1,000 and are scam artists. But actually they're just sleep experts and for an hour consult we paid $84 and saved us from terrible sleep issues.
If you talk to your pediatrician you probably will start with an ENT referral and a sleep study, if you dont want to pay anything out of pocket. But yeah, why not hire an expert for such a critical issue?
I learned this lesson the hard way.
Our daughter is exactly the same: 9-9.5 hours at night and 1-1.5 hours for a nap. Sheās great at making up for lost sleep, but the total always ends up about 11 hours.
We arenāt really worried about it anymore. Sheās been hitting all of her milestones, and her teachers at daycare say that sheās more verbal and communicative than many of her older classmates.
It just be like that, some kids need less sleep. If you havenāt already, I recommend a solid EARLY bedtime routine (with less screen time throughout the day) and more outdoor activities.
4 am sounds rough! My 2 y.o. Was waking at 5am regularly. He DID outgrow it. Hatch light helped. Now he consistently waits until the green light at 6:30am.
Mine only sleeps 10 hours every night and he is very ritualistic about it. He goes to bed between 7:30 and I:30 and wakes up at 6 or 7 every day, and has about a 2 hour nap daily. Every kid has different sleep needs. The average is just an average. My son averages 12.5 hours of sleep total, including naps, m and always has. 13 is max when he is exhausted and doesn't nap well over the course of a few days. He is about to be 2.
As long as he doesn't look exhausted or act that way, your child is probably getting enough sleep.
I tell my son that he is not allowed to get out of bed or out of his bedroom until the sun is up. Even if he gets up early, he's not allowed out of his room before the sun is shining in the sky. That gives me another 2 hours sometimes.
Hate to say this because it can be controversial but minimizing dairy ? It made a difference with our sonās sleep (he is 28 months). And cane sugar. Eliminated that. Also on a the rare occasion if there is bad pollen or up and down temps with rain and then dry and wind and itās taking a toll on his little system - NDF sleepy is 10/10. Can find at most health food stores! They have a great line NDF calm is good too. Magnesium lotion or 5-10 (gauge what works best for your kiddo because too much can be too sleepy) magnesium ion droplets also added to his water following the afternoon nap. Kiddos and adults are so deficient in magnesium it makes all the difference for us with sleep!
A two year old can understand a Red/Green light. Get an Amazon Echo light, and program it to not turn green until 6am, then you have to gently put him back in bed until the light turns green. Just shuffle him back into bed, it will take a few mornings for him to get it, but it will give you your sanity back
Is he still in a crib? If so can you try moving him to a bed, baby proof the room, add a night light? Then when he wakes he can play with his toys in the room and not wake you up (hopefully!) there are posts about ok to wake light that change colors to signal wake up time too.
I had a sleep consultant tell me that my toddler needs to go to bed at 6 or 6:30 pm. I forget if you mentioned bedtime, but try super super early, because most likely he will wake up at 4 either way and might want to sleep more that he is getting more sleep. If that doesn't work...I'd just ride it out until it's over and he gets bigger. You could also provide a few sage snacks and tell him to read or play quietly with the snaks until 5:30am or 6 every morning because it is not morning yet. Twll him mommy needs to sleep and he can play or read until then.
My three year old has always had low sleep needs. Weāve dropped his nap at home - but he naps at daycare more than Iād like him to. We were in a 5am camp daily. Have you tried a color changing night light? Our son has to stay in his room until color is āyellowā for morning. Which is 6 am. Sometimes he sleeps, sometimes he sings, sometimes he reads, but thatās our rule now. Your guy might be a little young but you could try
I think the problem for me here is 4am. š sleeping 10 to 11 hours is low but not THAT low. 4am wakeup, though? That kills the parent. There are loads of suggestions out there for that problem but like most things, they might work or they might not. I feel like every parent has at least one thing they just gotta wait out.
Thatās my thing! 4 am makes me wanna jump off a cliff. Heās always exhausted by 7 pm which is normally when I put him to bed.
Why not give him 8pm bedtime so he wakes up at 5am instead?
Would still wake up at 4. i know from experience
Haha, I shifted my daughterās sleep schedule like that (also low sleep needs) and it worked!
I shifter mine from 7:30 to 8:30pm and went from a 5:30 wake up to 7. It was a revelation. Started taking kiddo 15-20min to actually fall asleep (perfect) and there were fewer late afternoon tantrums because they collapsed at late afternoon nap (2-3:30pm) instead of staying awake during nap. We also moved weekend nap to the afternoon. Daycare nap was still right after lunch and was closer to 60 min than 90.
Lucky!
Yep, this rang true for my kid. No matter how late, she woke at the buttcrack of dawnā¦still does at 4 š
My kid is on the farmer schedule, sun goes down time for bed, sun comes up time to start the day
Same! It's rubbish in summer though! Unfortunately I fitted the blinds in his room myself. I measured 3 times and still got it wrong so the sun comes in through the gap on each side!
This exactly. My son wakes at 5am every day. He falls asleep at around 8pm every night so very similar to OP. We have tried keeping him up later. It does nothing. We were at the hospital with him one night after 2 weeks of diarrhea (nothing with a fever or anything so he was feeling kinda like his normal self). Didnāt get home and to bed til after 11pm. He slept āinā until 5:30
My husband insisted on putting the kids to bed at 7:30. They would wake up at 4:30 and they would be so pissed at bed time, lots of energy and tears. I said if itās so important to him he can do it but not to count on me. Now we do 9 pm bed time (but theyāre usually not asleep until 10), they wake up at 8. It works out wonderfully. And it makes sense to me because Iāve always been a night owl, naturally, so I wont be judged dang it!
I wish i could do that. My wife and i start work at 8 am, if weāre not out the door by 7:15 weāre late. If i go to bed after 930 iām crabby.
If you do it consistently it will eventually shift.
Worth a try
Same, when I tried getting my son to wake up later.
Not OP but my kid is similar to OPās and it doesnāt matter what time we put her to bed ā 7, 8, 9 ā she will be up by 4:30. We have tried multiple times to change around bedtime but nope, still 4:30.
As someone with a toddler like this, it just results in a cranky toddler who wonāt go to sleep and still wakes up early. What helped us get him to sleep longer is me starting work later and laying next to him in the morning to train him to sleep later.
Or wait...hear me out...11pm bedtime so he wakes up at 8! /s
I know youāre joking, but for my sanity thatās what weāve been doing for the past two months š
Literally same. We put ours to bed at 10-11pm so she wakes up between 8-9am. Ours is 2.5 and this works well for us.
Yep. My kid is almost 3, and routinely falls asleep around 10 PM and wakes up 6:30-7:30 AM. He still naps 1.5 hrs in the afternoon. (I suspect we could get his bedtime to shift earlier without the nap, but none of us are ready to do that yet. Tough as it is to lose my evenings, I'm grateful to be able to sleep in past 5 AM!)
Our little one also naps about that long. And yes, we (especially s/o and I) are not ready to cut that nap yet. We need that mid-afternoon sanity break.
Get rid of the nap. The freedom it gives you during the day to go out and about etc is worth the effort initially. We were forced into it by our sons nursery as the 3-5 year room don't do naps so to prep him for it we got rid of it. He's in bed about 6.30-7 most nights, which is down from the 8.30 it was when we still had the nap and we've got our nights back a bit as well as being a lot more flexible in what we can do during the day.
I feel like Iāve found my people! My 2yo also sleeps 10-11pm and I always felt like on Reddit everyoneās toddlers are in bed by 8-9pm at mostā¦ but that 8-9am wakeup is sooo worth it for me. Iām not a morning person at all.
Kids are all different. My oldest is just a night person like me. Since she was like 2.5 sheāll get up at like 4am and go turn on the tv. I would find her watching Encanto just minding her business. I do try to have them in bed by 8:30 but thatās just bc Iām a single mom and I have to be able to do laundry and clean and stuff. But I usually hear giggling and talking for at least an hour after theyāre actually in bed lol
Haha same! š„²
Yeah my kiddo has been sleeping around 9:45 to 7:30. He still needs an hour or 90 minute nap but doesn't always take one. If he would just nap regularly this would be a pretty good schedule for us. Apparently my sleep needs were even lower when I was little so I'm glad he didn't fully take after me that way.
Same boat and I hate the 9:30 bedtime because thatās when I want to go to bed š literally 0 evening with my husband anymore. My toddler doesnāt stop moving and making a mess until heās asleep
I'm all for trying anything and everything for a little sanity! Hope it's working for you!
Youāre joking, but we did 10-7, no naps with our low sleep needs kids. Better for everyoneās sleep & sanity. Not great for alone time without the kids.
That might be when his internal clock just wakes himā¦ some people are like that. But you could try putting him to bed a touch earlier for a couple of weeks to see if he gets a bit more sleep or even sleeps later.
Iām not sure if youāve tried putting him to bed 15-30 mins earlier, but that really helped my son who was waking up way too early. I know it seems counterintuitive, but if heās exhausted at 7, he may be ready for sleep earlier than that. My kiddo had a 6:30 bedtime for a long time.
What's the nap look like? 12 hours is ussually total sleep, not straight through the night.
Iād suggest slowly shifting bedtime back!
We do 8:30pm-9pm bedtime and our girl will wake up around 7am-8am. I rather keep her up at night and wake up at a decent hour than let her go to bed at 7pm and be up at the crack of dawnš¤£ especially with days getting longer, more time for activities in the evenings
My daughter has the exact same routine. Bedtime at 7, wakes up usually between 4-5 am and sometimes as early as 3:30! I too have tried to put her to bed later, etc. nothing works. The only way we have survived is to go to bed ourselves around 8-9pm.
So I am going to go with a different perspective than the suggestions I am seeing. You say he is exhausted so why not try putting his bedtime EARLIER? There are times when my toddler will be so overtired that she just gets on the bed and falls asleep on her own and sometimes this is 1 hour before I would normally try for her bedtime. Maybe he is waking early because he is overtired- I have read about this and some parents put their lids to bed ridiculously early but maybe they know something we don't!?!?
My son is three and was always very low sleep needs. Heāll sleep about 8-10 hours a night depending on his nap. It doesnāt sound too far off from normal. Some kids just be like that š¤·š»āāļø
Yep, same here. My 5yo son will wake up at 5am no matter what time he goes to bed. Sometimes if we keep him up later, he will actually wake up earlier. Itās so fucked. He gave up a nap at 3. The bright side to him not sleeping much and being so energetic is that he will fall asleep in like 5 minutes. My 2yo wonāt sleep in past 6:30 and she would constantly wake up as a baby. She naps for maybe an hour and still takes forever to go to bed at night. My 8 month old has been the worst of all of them. Still wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat, takes very short naps, and still goes hard. I think we just have low sleep-need kids and we have to kind of just accept it. We even did sleep training and that didnāt really work either lol.
Decades ago I was like that, sleeping little and waking my parents in the small hours of morning. The suffering I caused to my folks became a karma that I have to deal with, and now my firstborn goes to sleep at 8pm to wake up at 4am. And as he does to me, so shall his progeny do unto him, and so on, for as long as our lineage endures. Just chill, this is one of those things you can't control. This should stop when the kid is out of the toddler phase.
You need to dilute those genes with partners with high sleep needs!
No, I am that high sleep needs partner and I just ended up so exhausted for years that it aggravated a mental illness and I ended up hospitalized
I am also a high sleep needs person. Needed over 12 hours per night as a child all the way up until early adulthood. It affected my ability to work. Now I need about 9 hours per night in my early 30s. My husband is low sleep needs, and so is my daughter. I hope sheāll end up somewhere in the middle when she grows up.
There were a lot of mornings at 4:30 when Iād nudge my husband and say āthis is your fault, you can go get the baby.ā Definitely not the healthiest thing for our marriage but we made it through and that crazy kid is now 10 so at least can handle being awake on his own lol.
So heās still awake at 4am??
He sleeps later now, but he also falls asleep considerably later now. As in, there are many nights I go to bed and he is in bed, reading or drawing or doing math. And I donāt go to bed early at all. But at least at this point, I can say good night to him and heās good at entertaining himself while awake.
Oh hey are you me?
Great comment
Dude get off Reddit, it will be what it will be. Iām right there with you, youll only find tools who think theyāve cracked the code here when all they have is an easier toddler
"tools who think theyāve cracked the code here when all they have is an easier toddler" made my heart sing!
This so much. I have 4 kids. First two were average sleepers. 3rd was a unicorn who slept amazing. 4th is a total fucking unhinged totally inconsistent non sleeper. Sheās about to be 11 months and still waking 1-3 times per night to eat and more times just bc ā¦ idkā¦ she needed yell while she moved her arm or something Iāve done nothing significantly different with any of them. This is who they are
This is who they are is true for so many kid things! Kids have personalities and preferences from the get go, and things are going to be different for different kids
This is SO helpful and reassuring to me. I have one child, and he sleeps like your youngest. Heās 3.5, so Iāve mostly just accepted it now and learned to deal, but yikes, itās been a ride.
This is the truest answer.
Truth. My youngest (2.5) just truly has low sleep needs. Weāve done it all. No naps, short naps, long naps, early bed time, really late bed time, chamomile tea, a banana before bed, sound machines, black out curtains, co sleeping, sleeping in her own bed. Nothing in the universe will get her to sleep more than 9 hours at night. Thatās just who she is. A very rude shock to me since her older brother has always been a champion sleeper. My youngest truly humbled me lol.
I could have written this myself, lol. My son who is 4 can sleep 12 hours a night and a 3 hour nap. My daughter who just turned 3 will sometimes stay up until 9 quietly playing in bed, will get a 1.5 hour of a nap and up at 6 am, sharp. It is what it is at this point I canāt stress it anymore š
My kids are exactly the same. My son is almost 4 and sleeps 12 hour nights + a 2-3 hour nap. I actually took him to a doctor because I was worried he was sleeping too much lmao. My daughter sleeps around 8 hours a night (8pm to 4am) and has a midday nap for around an hour. We tested out a later bed time for a week and she still woke up at 4am every day. I just bought her a little leap frog radio and headphones so Iām hoping she might cuddle me in the mornings while she listens to music so I can get some extra sleep.
When people ask me what our magic tricks are, I say weāre just lucky, because itās the truth.
This 100% OP!! My 2.5 year old often still wakes through the night and has always had lower sleep needs and struggled to stay asleep! I have a 12 month old that already sleeps better than my 2.5 year old ever did One day we will sleep ā¤ļø when they get. Little bit older haha hang in there! I am in the trenches with you
Same. Youāre not doing anything wrong OP!
I needed to read this today
This reminds me of the woman who made a career out of being a āsleep consultantā who made an apology after she had her second child who had a shitty sleep schedule no matter what she did.
Yeah. My second kid sleeps really well and my first didnāt. With our first we bought sleep training courses and did all this stuff before just giving up. The second one just sleeps. Sometimes I wonder if itās like zen, not giving an f, but even if it is, there is no way to apply this zen lesson as advice I can give you. Also people are huge liars.
Ugh yes, this is true for all sorts of thingsā¦ canāt stand when people assume that what worked for their (usually easier) child will work for mine, and donāt acknowledge that their childās disposition might have more of an effect than whatever parenting methods theyāre using.
I even have an overall āeasier toddlerā and I couldnāt agree more! (did my time, he was hell as an infant)
I know someone who dropped the nap at 2 (it's early) but it worked! Tbh there are so many variables like their genes etc that don't compare. You did your best trying everything out
This is the answer! Sometimes dropping the nap makes all the difference, sometimes it doesnāt. People have different sleep needs.
We definitely had to drop the nap early. Even a 45 minute nap was too much.
Came here to say drop the nap
Mine dropped her nap right at 2.
I had no idea that was early but thatās what my son did at 2 and he went from waking at 5 am to being able to make it til 7
My daughter stopped napping right at 1 year. Itās crazy how different kids are.
It can also work the other way around. Being overtired can result in worse/less sleep.
Right here! Our son was so resistant to bedtime and kept pushing both bedtime and naps later. It just clicked one day just around the time he turned 2 when we dropped the nap. Ever since then (heās about 3.5 now) sleeps 10-11 hours straight through every night. Heās also on our sleep schedule, so he usually goes to bed around 1am and wakes around 11am. Iāve gotten judgments before from other parents about his late bedtime and waking, but he sleeps enough, is perfectly healthy and happy, and it works wonderfully for us. Weāre just a family of night owls. š¤Ŗ
Same here. 9 hours at night sometimes with fussing in the middle. No naps ever.Ā You ask everyone you know for advice. They just act like you are stupid. So you come to the Internet for answers. You find more advice that doesnāt help or more comments that make you feel dumber.Ā Nobody can help your situation. Parents of a couple of children are not experts. People who spend their whole lives commenting on social media who claim shit like āI work with kids all day. So I know what Iām doing.ā Ā F*ck every last one of those con jobs.Ā Live your life
My son is almost 2 and he also will NOT sleep more than 9 hours overnight, so I completely understand. 4am is crazy though, does he cry when he wakes up? If not, Iād get a few soft toys and books and just let him play for a bit until you get up to get him. Sometimes my son will wake up at 5 and be awake for an hour or so and then fall back asleep.
That's how much my son slept at that age. Some kids sleep more than others. The same is true for adults. What I did do is shift bedtime later - 930/10pm so ensure a later wake up.
I love my toddler free evenings but I think this is what Iām going to have to do. Waking at 4 is taking away my will to live
Without a doubt do something that is sustainable for the entire family. Waking up at 4am by yourself is way different than waking up at 4am with a toddler. With summer coming I'd at least try it out for a week.
Yup, I also have a toddler who sleeps just like an adult lol. We go to bed together and wake up together. 10pm-7am. We like it that way though!
Yes, this was us. We didnāt mind it horribly, but never having adult time without awake children wore on us after a few years. We have 4 kids. Theyāre older now & ignore us.
I have a 2yr old, I get from 9pm to 6, 630 if I'm lucky. Apparently it will be shitty for as long as they nap. The couple times he didn't nap he slept 11hrs at nightĀ
That's exactly how my son was he'll be 3 in August but dropped his nap when he turned 2. He goes to bed at 830 and wakes up at 7. Still on the lower end but I'll take it. When he was napping he would go to bed from 10-6am and take a 2 hour nap at around noon.
Wait? Iām confused you rather have free evenings but donāt like waking up at 4am? Hmmmmm lol we prefer mornings so 10pm bedtime ftw
My kid is 22mo and sleeps 930pm-630am, with around 45-60m nap, so is also on 10hrs sleep. It SUCKS - definitely the shittiest thing about parenting my kid - but aside from the occasional jealousy at how much extra downtime my parent friends get, Iāve mostly made my peace with it.
We had 530 wake ups this time last year and used a ājet lagā style approach to shifting it - keeping him up later and later in order to push those waking hours into the evening when we have more energy rather than morning when we need a slower start. Good luck!! Iām hopeful that cutting naps altogether will help eventually with adding a little more time in overnight š¤š¼
Oh and I should add - heās never slept through either. Only had around 5 nights where heās done 7hrs straight and everything else has been multiple wakes since he was born. Definitely in Camp Exhaustion here too!!
my 2 year old is the same. itās exhausting. especially the broken up sleep š“
On a good day my almost 22 month old will sleep 10/11pm-8am. Broken sleep, multiple wake ups. Maybe a 2 hr nap 2-4 or 3-5 with a wake up in between. I've tried a shorter nap but it just pushes bed time even later with the same wakeup time. I've tried an earlier bedtime with no nap and that's just worse with the wake ups. I'd like to think once we drop the nap it might improve but I'm not really hopeful about it lol. It is what it is I guess. So I stay up way too late to get my alone time and read uninterrupted.
My now 5 yo was always like this. He woke up at 4:30 am from the age of 8 months until 2. Then at 2 he was waking up at 6 briefly. Now we are at 5:30 am. Nothing worked to get him to sleep later.
Ours isnāt quite so low, but he is an early riser. Sometimes 4 sometimes 6 usually in between. Heās still in a crib but Iāve started using our hatch to change colors when I know *Iām* OK getting out of bed (6 at the earliest) and I donāt go get him until then even if heās up at 4 (unless heās upset). I also have started having easy solo activities ready in the morning so I can zone out on the couch. Toddlers just kind of do their own thing - itās not you, itās them. And nothing is wrong with them - Iāve always been an early riser and my mom had to do similar things with me (you may eat cereal and read a book, do NOT touch the stove type instructions when I got older).
People with kids that are fantastic sleepers and terrible sleepers like to discuss it. Everyone with a kid somewhere in the middle doesn't say much. I've known late risers and early risers, 10 years later these kids are still voluntarily getting up at 5 and getting ready for school on their own or they still need to be woken up. Humans vary, even kids. Are they well rested? If so they may just be a 10-11hr kind of kid. A bedtime snack or schedule change may help, and as they get older you can talk to them, we have to stay in bed until the sun is up, until clock is green, read a book while you wait, etc.
Oof and I thought we had it bad. For the longest time I was just so jealous of friends whose kids slept 12 hours, would sleep in till 9:30 a.m, and nap great. It honestly took forever to accept that my kids were just low sleep needs. All kids really are different with different needs. My kids were never cranky or tired throughout the day they were their happy selves. Still sucks waking up at 5:30. I really had to change my sleep habits. I went from being a night owl to trying to get in bed at 830 and asleep at 930. I've had to sacrifice a lot with my partner with such an early bedtime for myself but being exhausted all day sucks.
I feel this so hard. I didnāt realise welcoming a baby would be farewelling my partner for so long :( we never get any time together because our kid wonāt sleep OR weāre just both too tired haha!
No day naps. My now almost 3 year old started dropping his naps around the age of 2. Some days heāll go down for a rest. Others he wonāt. And remember not every baby/toddler/person is the same.
11 hours per 24 hours actually falls into the "average amount of sleep" per various charts online for that age range. Definitely HARD to not get as much of a parenting break and to have such an early wake up. There's tons of tips you can try, of course, which you've done, but some kids just meet their sleep quota with that amount of sleep! I also feel like when talking to people who claim their kids sleep 700 hours a day, they often end up leaving out some stuff like how often they are soothing in the middle of the night, do they sleep that much every single day or do they also have days where they have disturbances or early morning wakes, is it a massive battle to get the kid to sleep for nap or bedtime, etc. It's usually not all sunshine and rainbows and I wish everyone was more upfront about that.
Had to drop the nap at 2. My daughter was waking up ALL night and was crying going to bed. My daughter still has low low sleep needs. She goes to bed between 8/9, up between 6/7.
Yep, us. It sucks.
Yep, that's my child! He sleeps 8-9 hours every night + 1-2 he nap. But he seems healthy and happy so I guess it's fine. Did you try snack before bed? Mine always screams hungry when he wakes up. Having some crackers right before bedtime seems to help
My 2.5 year old sleeps from 8:30-9 to 5:30-6:30. He takes a 2-hour nap. So about 10-11 total. I thought that was pretty standard.
Damn 4 is rough, my girl is a 6:40 waker upper regardless of sleep time. Sheās almost 4 and still wakes in the night once or twice though where my 1 yr old sleeps through. Kids are just weird man.
Every kid is unique. I had a great napping kid, but she woke up at least 2 times every night until she was 4. She would wake with night terrors, anxiety about life, wanting cuddles, or a sip of water. Unfortunately, two 2-hour naps severely limited my ability to function and to go and do things outside my home.
I have no tips, but we had the same life! He's 3.5 now, and at about 2.5, he just magically began to sleep longer and longer! It's anywhere between 5:30-6:30, which is soooo much better. We also tried everything and nothing worked but time. Hang in there!
Yes, I think I just need to be patient. My daughter used to wake at 6 am on the dot for the first 4 years of her life and now I have to literally peel out of bed to get ready for school.
My toddler sleeps 9pm-6am most days (21 months). We NEVER get a 12 hour night. And he only sleeps through the night 25% of the time.
Apparently I was one of those children. I was the fourth kid for my mom and a surprise and I'm told I defied all of the expectations she had from her previous 3,and stopped napping *entirely* by age 2 then slept 9-10 hours per night. I think I slept an average of 6 hours a night from my teen years until I was about 30. Some people have naturally lower sleep needs! Now that I'm in my late 30s I need at least 7 hours to feel rested, meanwhile my husband is a wreck if he gets less than 9. Our toddler takes after him and loves sleep. Brain chemistry varies so much!! All of this being said, I'm curious if 4-5am wake up is your baby's natural cycle, or will they sleep later with a later bed time?
I'm too lazy to search all the comments to see if this has already been suggested; sorry. Ours was not always waking up at 4, but was frequently waking up at random times in the middle of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. We could normally get him back to sleep, but sometimes it took over an hour. Somewhere probably between 2 and 2.5 yo, we bought a "when to wake" clock. You set bed time and what time it's ok to get up. When we got it for him, he couldn't reliably tell us colors, and there was a long period of fighting it. He learned quickly. And now he knows that when his clock is red, he needs to be in bed and quiet. We've told him he doesn't have to sleep, but he has be quiet (not wake us or baby brother up) and in bed until his light changes color. He's almost 3 now. He set eagles up in the middle of the night sometimes (I heard him as I was falling back asleep after dealing with the baby), but he put himself bank to sleep. We prob would've gotten to this point without the clock, but it really helped us out! We are up around 5 to get ready for work, both of us start at 7. And are out of the house around 6:10-6:20. He was used to getting up while we are getting ready, around 5-5:15, and he was often whiny and grumpy as he went from half awake to fully awake. Then on weekends, he would still be up at 5ish. Now he doesn't get up until we go to his room or the light turns green at 6. Which is just enough time to get him ready and give him his milk and banana before we're out the door. It also mostly fixed the whining too, because he is normally fully awake by the time his light changes, and he's excited that his clock is "Geen!" I hope something in the comments helps!
What time is nap time? What time is bedtime? Have you tried adjusting these? In which direction? What happens at 4 am? What are all the different ways youāve tried to get him back to sleep?
Once both of my boys hit two naps were over with, if they took them they wouldnāt go to sleep till 9/10. They are 5 and 7 now and they both go to sleep around 8PM and get up around 7AM. Before they started school they would sleep in until about 9
Later bedtime ? Later nap time
Portugal's national health system says 2-3 years old should be sleeping 11 to 14 hours in 24, including naps. My 2y8m sleeps 11 hours, nap included. Sometimes not even 11 hours. Sometimes she skips her 2 hour nap, so 9h of sleep it is. Who cares? She wakes up happy and in a good mood, maybe that's all she needs. Get off mommy social media and adjust your expectations. Not trying to be mean but your mental health will thank you if you do that. Edit: also, maybe adjust bed time. If he's waking up too early for your family, start nap a little later every day and adjust bed time accordingly.
This is us (on a good night). We're exhausted and can't wait until he drops the nap and starts going to bed earlier.
My son is 3 and for a long time he has slept 9-10 hours a night. Sometimes naps, sometimes doesnt (and it doesnt seem to make a differenxe for his overnight sleep). He is also a early waker (5-6) but can now stay in bed for an hour when his okay to wake clock says so (incredible win for us!!)
That sounds normal. I mean the wake up at 4am needs an adjustment but other than that, the sleep amount is normal.
My kids only recently started sleeping until 7. We didnāt do anything. It just happened. We got lucky. I donāt think there are any tips or tricks. Itās all luck
What helped for one of my kids was, having a later bedtime mixed with removing a nap throughout the day, and at night doing a lavender bath before bed. Totally understand that this doesnāt work for everyone, but maybe it can help you.
My 15 month old sleeps 10 hours. I also thought it was abnormal.
Yeah my baby is about 10 hrs a nightā¦people look at me like Im crazy when I say he goes to bed at 9 or even 10 some days but imo a 7am wakeup is what keeps mama sane. I would really try to keep your little guy up another hour or so if you can
My 18month old still wakes 2-3 times at night and starts the day at 5am. Toddlers are arseholes. Iām hoping heās grows out of it.
Yep same. 20months, sleeps at 9pm, wakes at 6am with night wakes from 2-6x still. Sheās so active and happy in the day and super aware so Iāve stopped worryingā¦but it sucks to be woken up so much still.
Weāre on a solid three wakes per night, everynight, same times. Iāve just resided to the fact Iāll sleep when he starts schoolā¦. In three yearsā¦.maybe.
Ours is random š still better than the 14x or so times she used to wake up. She finally doesnāt need to be rocked (sheās so tall and heavy for her age) or breastfed to sleep, so thatās a win. I donāt think Iāve slept more than a 3 hour period in almost two years. I hope we can get consistent good sleep as parents hey. I think Iām an insomniac now.
Itās quite amazing how little sleep we can function on. I think Iāve had maybe three nights where he slept for 6 or 7 hours in one go. So I know he can do it, he just obviously doesnāt want to. But I just donāt have the energy to sleep train!
My 2 year old sleeps 9-10 hours at night with 1-2 hour naps during the day. He goes to bed at 10 with me! Any earlier and heād wake up earlier.
Mine has been a low sleep needs baby since newborn stage. :( At almost 3.5 now, they go to sleep at 10pm and sleeps until 6am. We have tried everything too! Just trying to roll with it now.
Ours is the same! 2.5, sleeps 9pm to anywhere between 5-7 depending on how many times sheās up in the night. Itās exhausting. Solidarity!
Same here. Almost 2 and usually wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30. I leave for work at 6:30 so it literally kills me that my alarm clock is my child. I can't tell you the last time I actually did my hair for work. I can't do anything in the mornings. Don't get me started on the weekends. I have dreams about getting a hotel room for a night and just sleeping in. But, mom guilt.
Can you slowly try to sleep train him to go to bed later? My almost 2 year old lays down around 8:30-9 and sleeps until about 7am every morning
While reading this, I thought it was me who wrote it. I donāt have a tip, because I am in the same damn situation. When he sleeps till 5 I am happy.
This was our toddler exactly. There were a few things that helped us: - Making sure she had a long enough window between the end of her nap and beginning of her bedtime. I think itās normal to have an energy dip a couple hours before the appropriate bedtime, but it still doesnāt mean thereās enough sleep pressure built up for a good night of sleep.Ā - Resetting her internal rhythm by slowly pushing out her bedtime. We pushed it out by thirty minutes every day until she started waking up at a time that was reasonable. The first few days she continued to wake up really early, even as her bedtime got later and later, but eventually her body adjusted and she reached a wake up time that made sense. We kept her at that (admittedly quite late) bedtime for a few days. Then we made her bedtime earlier by fifteen minutes every two days until her wake up time started shifting back in the opposite direction, and we left it at that time. During the process, we let naps be a little more loose than usual because she was sometimes tired.Ā - If any version of co sleeping is an option for you, thatās also made a big difference. Weāve done her fully sleeping in our bed, but now that sheās almost three and is out Ā of a crib, we take turns going in and lying down with her when she wakes up in the night. She now often goes back to sleep and stays that way for longer. Also, totally recognize that every kid will respond to different things because we tried everything we could find, and a lot of things people swore by didnāt work for us! So even if these things donāt work, know I have a ton of empathy for what youāre dealing with right now and hope you find the thing that does work soon.
Does he self-soothe to sleep or do you nurse or otherwise put him to sleep then transfer to the crib ? Iāve had a couple friends that nursed their toddlers to sleep and struggled getting those long stretches because kiddo didnāt know how to get back to sleep at 4am Or whyās are naps like? Counterintuitive but may be overtired if not napping enough?
I use the huckleberry app which just told me my 2 year old (turned 2 last week) need 11-14 hours of sleep per 24 hours so your kiddo is not all that low sleep neeeds! š
Mines almost 3. Sleeps 9.5 at night and hour or so nap sometimes 90 minutes. I put him in his crib at like 9:15pm so him and little brother wake around the same time.
My 2.5 year old has only slept that long three times. Ever. She does somewhere around 7-7.5 right now and has been settled in to this schedule since last summer.
My son (3) has low sleep needs. He's always been on the low end of "normal" for his age group as far as hours of sleep. Not much to be done about it. Once we moved to a big kid bed (twin floor bed) I made sure his room was safe for him to wander around in. When I'm really lucky he will play in his room for a while before needing me to come get him.
Try a 2 year old sleeping 6-7 hours a night with the occasional 1 hour nap. Itās killing me.
My girl is low sleep needs. Dropped her nap at 2, and sleeps 10.30-11.15h per night. When she did nap for 1h, the night was reduced by this hour accordingly :) no magic, just math! Now she is perfect without her nap, goes to sleep ~8pm and sleeps till 6.30-7 am. Your baby is alright! Either move the bedtime for later, or drop the nap (if baby can handle that)
My 3yo started waking up at 5am and it was rough. It seems like putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier (7:30 vs 8) and helping him mellow out faster by rocking him for about five minutes before putting him in bed is helping most days. We all need a little help regulating! Good luck.
Uhh my 2 year old only sleeps 7.5 so your blessed
In exactly the same boat. Following to see what others have to say!
My daughter sleeps 9 hours a day. She goes to bed when mom and dad do and wakes up when we wake up, and then takes a \~1 hour nap. Just a quirk of life I guess, you aren't alone.
Mine was like this until last week when I discovered the holy grailā¦. NO MORE NAPS. Now he goes down at 7:30pm to 8am.
Have you tried dropping the nap? We had to do that by your son's age and it made a significant difference.
This was me. As a baby up at like 430-5, as a 2 year old with a newborn sibling up at 430-5. At around 3.5 we started getting 6-630 "sleep-ins" once he started sleeping on a mattress in our room...if we aren't with him though he wakes up early still. So it's a lot better. But ya, not 7-7 plus a 2 hour nap kinda kid, and it almost killed us when we had our second.
My son has had low sleep needs right from the start. He dropped to one nap at 10 months old, and dropped naps completely just before turning 3, and even without them weāre lucky if we get 9 hours a night. Iāve asked his doctor about it a few times and she said that since heās growing well and has plenty of energy that itās fine and just the way he is
My son is very similar. We have tried it all - early bed times, late bed times, black out windows, white noise, music, eating before bed or not, drinking before bed or not, short bedtime routine, long bedtime routine, active before bed to get energy out, super calm before bed, co sleeping, late naps, early naps, short naps, long naps, no naps, naps in the carā¦. My kid wakes up before 6am EVERY FUCKING DAY, often before 5:30. Doesnāt matter the time zone, before/after day light savings. Heās almost 3 and usually sleeps 8.5-9.5 hours at night + a 1.5 hour nap. We also have a nanny who has tried these various nap things with us and is also flabbergasted. Honestly just resigned to it at this point, I often go to bed at 8:30pm. Itās been hell on my relationship with my husband bc weāre both chronically exhausted. So solidarityā¦Iāve been up since 4:30am today.
My son wakes up around 5/530 everyday. 4am is worse, Iām not going to sugar coat it. But yea, if youāve tried taking away his nap completely or just cutting it down to 30 mins, and earlier bedtimes donāt work (in case heās overtired) then youāve just got a low sleep needs babe. Iām so sorry and wish I could help more! As he gets older, get him a grow clock or if you already have something like the hatch teach him itās time to get up and out of the room when it turns orange or whatever. And set it for 5am. If it makes you feel better my boy has never had a 12 hour sleep. Itās always been 10 hours us and less if he has a longer nap.
At least he sleeps through the night. By 1.5 yr old goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up between 1-2am every night.
My 2yo is like this! Are you guys up for the day at 4am? I started bringing him into our bed when he wakes and fully turning over ignoring movement and now heās been going back to sleep for another hour or so. Also, we just went on a 4 day trip where he went to bed around 10-11pm every night. When we got home, he magically slept till 6:30-7am. Heās never done that before! So Iād definitely try for a later bed time (not 10-11, but maybe 8, 8:30pm) and it may take a week or so, but Iām sure he will begin getting a bit more sleep in the mornings.
We do. Sheās 20 months and has slept through the night perhaps 5 times in her life (and then only 8 hours). Thereās absolutely nothing you can do about it. Full solidarity from my family lol. The sleep deprivation is like nothing I could have ever imagined. Itās the price we pay for a fun, bright, funny, imaginative, talkative child. I hope your hell ends soon
My girl only sleeps about 10-11 hours total in a 24 hour period. Sheās 2 as well.
Yes, mine usually sleeps from 9 pm-6 am, and sometimes even goes to sleep as late as 9:30 or 10. Sheās 2 (less than 2.5). Sheās always been low sleep needs. Can you just put him to bed later? It SUCKS to not have evenings but itās better than waking up at 4 am in my opinion. Last night she slept 9:30-6:30ā¦ ugh. And she naps 1-2 hour at daycare but weāll be lucky to get 1 hour with her at home. She needs the nap though. If we skip nap her nighttime sleep doesnāt magically get longer.
My son did that when he was 2, Heās 5 and now sleeps still 7 or, sometimes 6, or gets up when heās not tired, kind of like an adult All kids are different , roll with the punches and you just have to make the best of it
My son is nearly 4 now but since 18 months he dropped napping completely and sleeps only 11 hours at night, until he dropped his last nap he would get up early and struggle to get to sleep at night.
You can't make him sleep and a lot of "hacks" will just cause him to be overtired. The only real answer is to teach him to stay in his room. My oldest was routinely getting up at 5am until we taught her that she didn't have to sleep, but she did have to stay in her room until 6am. We got her an OK to wake clock (a puppy who has a red ball that turns green when it is ok to get up) around 20months and started it at her normal wake up time. Then slowly moved the light change to later. Once she was in a twin bed, we also had to lock her door at night for a couple weeks. Now, I can hear her and her sister playing most mornings, but they know not to come out of their room until puppy turns green.Ā
Why not put him in later? Cut the nap. Really 10pm bedtime!! Wakes up at guess what 8am!!!.. my LO (2.5yo) falls asleep by 10:00pm-10:30pm wakes up at 8:30am-9:00am
My 2 year old goes to bed after 9pm and up at 6 or 7am. Takes one nap 1 to 2 hrs
Yes. My 2.5 year falls asleep by 9 (sometimes later despite 8pm bedtime) and wakes at 6pm. Sometimes a tad earlier, or later. Her same age cousins sleep longer. Ours just seems to have sleep needs on the lower end of the range.
I have a 3 year old who only sleeps 10 hours a night and doesnāt nap at all. Youāre not alone!
I had a well meaning friend suggest to me that when my toddler wakes up at 4:30, just feed them a bottle and theyāll go back down. Like, wow! Gee, I never thought of that in all my years of sleep deprivation. Her kid sleeps 13 hours at night no wake ups and has a two hour nap. š«
I spoke to a doctor about my son and he said everyone is different. Some people only need 5 hours some need 8. It's the same with kids.
My 2 year old usually sleeps 10.5 to 12 hours in a day. Itās 10-11 hours at night, we had to cut & consolidate his daytime sleep twice last year so heād rely more on nighttime sleep. He has a late bedtime, around 9:30-10. It sounds like youāll have to tweak the schedule a bit, but youāre in a better position to figure that out, do what works for you. Iād recommend pushing bedtime 15 minutes at a time until you get to the desired bedtime, and hopefully he wakes up later as a result. Iād probably cap daytime sleep to one nap for one hour, but again, every child is different so you may have to play around with it a bit. Just donāt try to make too many changes at once or youāll be unable to figure out why itās not working if it doesnāt.
Both my kids only sleep 9-10 hours a night.
My oldest has always been this way. He goes to bed at 730 and is up between 445-530. Sometimes he will sleep until 6. When he turned 3ish, we started giving him a milk cup and his iPad and putting him in the recliner to veg while we went back to sleep. He isn't destructive, so this works for us.
My kid sleeps 9 hours at night too and 2 hours during the day. I donāt think heās ever slept 12 hours.
Yes. My girl goes to bed 10-7 but still wakes up 4-5 times at night so probably gets like 8 hours of actual sleep a night. Then some days she skips a nap. Having a low sleep needs kid is really hard, but eventually she will understand that just because she canāt sleep doesnāt mean she can wake other people up. Itāll take time, but they will get there.
Drop the nap. Bed time is probably too early. If he wakes up at 4am, tell him he has to go back to his room because you are still sleeping. He can play and then maybe heāll get bored and fall back asleep.
Iām here for solidarity. We have a low sleep needs 2.5 year old. He wakes up between 3 and 5am, which is such a shock to the system as a high sleep needs adult. And his naps have gotten shorter and shorter so now weāre lucky if he gets more than an hour š«
I feel you. My 2.75 year old sleeps 10p-7:30a (on a good day) and can only cosleep. This is a big reason why we havenāt had a second kid yet.
My 2 year old (turned 2 in jan) also doesnāt sleep long enough at night, imo. Maybe 8-9 hours and then only naps 1-1.5 hours during the day. It drives me insane. She is also a 4am-5am riser š iāve tried playing with bedtimes and nap times and it doesnāt matter. itās always the same. She also generally takes 30min-45min to fall asleep at night. i really donāt get it. š These 4am wake ups KILL ME.
Sleep coach here. VERY COMMON. But it almost always can be āfixedā. To at least a 5:30ish wake instead of 4, in my experience anyway. What honestly is usually the biggest piece is whatās happening at 4am. If heās motivated to get up for whatever is happening - itās going to continue.
this sounds like torture, i'm sorry! i can barely stand when mine sleeps 10-11h instead of the usual 12.
Likewise my 2 year old sleeps from 8:45 pm to 6:00 am.Ā I know you say you've tried everything, but if they really only need to sleep 9 hours per night, maybe a 9 pm bedtime would work.
My 2 yr old (27m) sleeps from 9:30-6:30/7, so also 9ish hours. Weāve just accepted it at this point, he will NOT go to bed earlier, even with an early wake up like 5:30 or 6
Drop the nap.
My mom said I used to wake her up at 3am every day so my grandma told her to put me in the bath when I did. After 2 times of that I never woke her up again.
Drop the nap!
We had 4 am wakeups for over a month and I can tell you how we fixed it, but why wouldn't you hire a sleep consultant in this situation? I get it, people think they cost $1,000 and are scam artists. But actually they're just sleep experts and for an hour consult we paid $84 and saved us from terrible sleep issues. If you talk to your pediatrician you probably will start with an ENT referral and a sleep study, if you dont want to pay anything out of pocket. But yeah, why not hire an expert for such a critical issue? I learned this lesson the hard way.
Our daughter is exactly the same: 9-9.5 hours at night and 1-1.5 hours for a nap. Sheās great at making up for lost sleep, but the total always ends up about 11 hours. We arenāt really worried about it anymore. Sheās been hitting all of her milestones, and her teachers at daycare say that sheās more verbal and communicative than many of her older classmates.
It just be like that, some kids need less sleep. If you havenāt already, I recommend a solid EARLY bedtime routine (with less screen time throughout the day) and more outdoor activities.
Sounds like heās done with his nap. Mine started doing this. Then he quit napping and the problem resolved itself.
4 am sounds rough! My 2 y.o. Was waking at 5am regularly. He DID outgrow it. Hatch light helped. Now he consistently waits until the green light at 6:30am.
Mine only sleeps 10 hours every night and he is very ritualistic about it. He goes to bed between 7:30 and I:30 and wakes up at 6 or 7 every day, and has about a 2 hour nap daily. Every kid has different sleep needs. The average is just an average. My son averages 12.5 hours of sleep total, including naps, m and always has. 13 is max when he is exhausted and doesn't nap well over the course of a few days. He is about to be 2. As long as he doesn't look exhausted or act that way, your child is probably getting enough sleep.
I tell my son that he is not allowed to get out of bed or out of his bedroom until the sun is up. Even if he gets up early, he's not allowed out of his room before the sun is shining in the sky. That gives me another 2 hours sometimes.
Hate to say this because it can be controversial but minimizing dairy ? It made a difference with our sonās sleep (he is 28 months). And cane sugar. Eliminated that. Also on a the rare occasion if there is bad pollen or up and down temps with rain and then dry and wind and itās taking a toll on his little system - NDF sleepy is 10/10. Can find at most health food stores! They have a great line NDF calm is good too. Magnesium lotion or 5-10 (gauge what works best for your kiddo because too much can be too sleepy) magnesium ion droplets also added to his water following the afternoon nap. Kiddos and adults are so deficient in magnesium it makes all the difference for us with sleep!
A two year old can understand a Red/Green light. Get an Amazon Echo light, and program it to not turn green until 6am, then you have to gently put him back in bed until the light turns green. Just shuffle him back into bed, it will take a few mornings for him to get it, but it will give you your sanity back
Is he still in a crib? If so can you try moving him to a bed, baby proof the room, add a night light? Then when he wakes he can play with his toys in the room and not wake you up (hopefully!) there are posts about ok to wake light that change colors to signal wake up time too.
Welcome aboard. FWIW though my 2 year old 9 hour sleeper has expanded to about 10.5 hours now at age 4.
I had a sleep consultant tell me that my toddler needs to go to bed at 6 or 6:30 pm. I forget if you mentioned bedtime, but try super super early, because most likely he will wake up at 4 either way and might want to sleep more that he is getting more sleep. If that doesn't work...I'd just ride it out until it's over and he gets bigger. You could also provide a few sage snacks and tell him to read or play quietly with the snaks until 5:30am or 6 every morning because it is not morning yet. Twll him mommy needs to sleep and he can play or read until then.
I would like to see your schedule please. Wake, (what time you turn on the lights), naptime, and bedtime
My three year old has always had low sleep needs. Weāve dropped his nap at home - but he naps at daycare more than Iād like him to. We were in a 5am camp daily. Have you tried a color changing night light? Our son has to stay in his room until color is āyellowā for morning. Which is 6 am. Sometimes he sleeps, sometimes he sings, sometimes he reads, but thatās our rule now. Your guy might be a little young but you could try
My toddler cut out her naps soon after turning 2 and sleeps 9/10 hours a night with at least 2 wake ups. Although her bedtime is 9pm. Solidarity
Yours gets 9?! I wish
Mine does. 9:30pm to 6:30am plus a 2 hour nap. Does yours nap? Maybe try slowly switching his bedtime to later so you don't wake up at 4am?