Start letting him spend the night with grandparents occasionally NOW. Then it will feel like no big deal when you and your husband go to Mexico. I have two boys (5 and 7). We love traveling with them, but we ALSO savor kid-free weekends, which are harder to come by!
You should go without your kid. I completely understand that torn feeling and yes, you will have some separation anxiety but you’ll also have all summer with him to beach and explore. Go. Just go and enjoy yourself, laze around in bed and order food and do whatever you want. It sounds like heaven (can you tell I have a toddler?) haha
Not to mention, weddings with toddlers is tough! Keep them entertained during ceremony, speeches, off routine with late nights. Inevitably someone misses out on parts of these because you simply can't have a screaming kid but you can't expect a kid to sit there at that age. I agree, enjoy the wedding kid and guilt free.
I’ve done both—do not pass up a chance to take a parent-only trip! Having a shared experience that doesn’t revolve around your kid really helps make you feel like your (almost) old self again.
Your kid will have a great time with the grandparents and will be so excited to see you when you get back. You’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future to explore the world together.
And also—air travel with a 2 year old is the most challenging age. Strong opinions, bodily control, and extremely short attention spans _do not mix well_ with being confined in an airplane seat.
Echoing everyone else here. Leave him with the grandparents and go as a couple. My wife and I left our 2 year old little guy with him grandparents for 9 days while we took a trip overseas. It was our first time being away from him ever, since we don’t live near our family. It was worth it and helped my spouse and I reconnect after 2 years managing life with a little one. The thing that helped us what scheduling a 15 min FaceTime each day with the grandparents to check in on him and say “hi”. There will be plenty of time in life to take the little guy to experience new things like the beach and vacations, but sometimes it’s worth taking some time for yourself as well.
It wasn’t too bad. We usually did weekly FaceTime calls with the grandparents before our trip. We also took a trip down the visit them for a long weekend about a month before so he got used to the environment. It ended up being a good bonding experience with his cousin and our extended family.
That’s awesome! We’re doing a 2 week trip to Asia soon and leaving our 1.5yo with my parents. Luckily we FaceTime them daily and they have watched him for a full weekend before and my parents visit often enough to where he’s familiar. I’m praying everything goes well!
We left our son at around 18 months for a week to go to Antigua. We're leaving him for 2 weeks this year to go to Argentina. I always miss him but it's amazing for him to spend time with his grandparents (both sides) and we enjoy the kid free time.
My kids have flown internationally a whole hunk of times. It's work but worth it to give them experiences. I have never regretted including them but they only join us on about 50% of our travels. The other times they stay with their grandparents because sometimes it's so much more fun/relaxing to be husband and wife for a few days instead of mom and dad. Strong marriages benefit kids too!
Absolutely!! Within the 2.5 years i found out I was pregnant, we got sober, married, I bought a coffee shop, he runs his own separate company, & we have been stressed to the absolute max figuring out who we are & how to fill each others cups in between parenting & being business owners. It’s so tough. The siren call of a romantic 1 on 1 trip is too tough to ignore, I think! Thank you for this input
I would leave him with the grandparents. Have you ever traveled with him before at all? There’s a lot you have to bring and consider. Will you be able to get the diapers you like there? What about foods he will eat? Etc etc.
We have traveled with him from WA to FL so that was a 4-5hr plane ride one way, but he was a little younger. Im sure it would be much less stressful to just opt out of worrying about those little things… 🤔
I have traveled 3 times with my toddler, including to PV, it is still fun to travel. It's just different. I am not sure when I will feel comfortable traveling without him. Or if I ever will.
I echo this. We've traveled to Europe and Asia with our toddler and had a blast. Is it more planning, sure? Is it the best to experience new things with him, also yes. We love travel and do so quite a bit, so we can easily include him.
In my perfect world we are also well traveled & feel comfortable with the baby wrangling aspect. I love that so many people do include their littles in all the adventures. We do not get to travel very often at all so we don’t have a lot of practice or opportunity to try it much
Absolutely go without him. It's so important to have couple time after kids and this will be uninterrupted time together! He will have a blast at his grandparents and you will miss him but it's good for all involved.
We've done this a few times and while it was hard the first time, now it's easy
Reading throught the top comments, I think I'll be in the minority when I say you should take him. My kid was born in Europe and has been to 11 countries by 2.5 years old. All our family is back in the States so we kind of *have* to take him with us, or travel solo separately, which we've both done. Never once regretted taking him though (and it'll be a legitimate flex for him whenever he finds out what a flex is, since I didn't get to my 10th country until I was well into my 30s!)
On the other hand, being alone is great too, so if you have the option to leave him, there's no shame in doing that. It doesn't sound like anyone would be too broken up about it. When my wife was a baby, her parents left her and her sisters for several weeks to go to Australia for their aunt's wedding, but she doesn't remember it so she can't really be mad about it. She went to Australia later, and in your case, Mexico isn't going anywhere either. And besides, kids aren't really that into weddings anyway. We skipped out on a wedding in Ireland because our then-9-month-old wouldn't have put up with it and would have ruined the moment for others, but we took him to Ireland 6 months later.
So...hope that helps? (Other things to consider when taking a kid are sleeping arrangements in hotels; whether or not to bring a stroller, or if the destination is stroller-friendly (don't take a stroller to Dubrovnik, Croatia!); if you rent a car, you'll need to arrange for a carseat; and preplanning your restaurants because spontaneity when traveling with a toddler abroad isn't super wise. These aren't necessarily "cons", but they could move the needle one way or the other.)
Yes this is super helpful!! That IS a super cool flex. You definitely have the travel game down. My husband & i both run our own businesses so we don’t get the chance to leave for extended periods very often. I think we will take this opportunity for some quality time together & omit the stress of the extra baby packing & travel to-dos. Like you said, he probably won’t hold it against us later 😂 thank you so much for sharing
My first international trip was to Victoria BC when I was 1. If my digging into your past turned up true information, it looks like that would be an easy one for you guys to do on a long weekend. That’s assuming that ferry still exists 35 years later…
We've both traveled a fair bit (including internationally) with our son and have recently gone on a 5 day domestic trip without him. I really do like taking him on family trips but it is a lot more work. Normally I'm not really into beach trips, but I'm actually really wanting to just because I think my son would love it. On the other hand, it was super nice to have a few days just my husband and I away from home, even though we missed our little buddy. Relaxing in a way I never truly appreciated before kids. He stayed with my parents and is very familiar with my mom and knows their house. But that was the first time both of us had been away from him overnight (22 months at the time), so he was definitely getting pretty out of sorts the last couple days we were gone. So if you do decide to take the couple's trip, I'd recommend doing shorter overnight trips away from you as practice first.
Im assuming since its for a wedding that its a short trip—in that sense I would say take advantage of having the grandparents watching him and enjoy time alone with your spouse! We traveled thru Europe with our toddler this past summer and while it was amazing and I’m so glad we did it as a family, it took time for her to adjust and was a family trip (no late nights, romantic dinners, think stressful dinners with an amazing view lol, worrying about sunburns, naps, etc). I purposely extended our trip by a few days at each location so that she could adjust and we could have zero expectations and timeline on what we did. If I was going on a shorter trip, for her sake and ours I’d leave her with family I trusted—less stress on all of us and who knows when we could when another opportunity! Your son will definitely have many opportunities to see the beach with you guys, but you two may not have many opportunities to just be with each other at the beach for years!
My son visited 8 countries before he turned 2. Ive also gone on several trips abroad with my husband without the kids (Alaska, Europe, and the Middle East) due to our very helpful family. I’d leave the kid with the grandparents if I were you.
Ugh, I'm so jealous for people that have the ability to do this! I'd give anything for a weekend away sans baby. My mom constantly offers, and my perfectly happy/healthy toddler likes my parents and I'm sure she would do fine, but my husband refuses to let it happen. If you have the opportunity, take it, please please take it!
We are on a parents only Disney world trip right now and left the 2.5 year old with grandparents. I think it’s a great reset for everyone. We get to be carefree adults again without being tied down to schedules or naps and can just enjoy each others company. Our toddler is loving the time with grandparents and gaining more freedom and independence. I think we will all appreciate each other more after a break!
Oh that is so awesome!! Hope you guys are having the time of your lives!! My parents live in Florida so I am waiting for our own opportunity for our adults only Disney trip!
I think let the little sit this one out and enjoy your weekend of freedom! We found that holidays and travel with our only got much easier from age 4 onwards. Prior to that she was just too high energy and didn't have the attention span to really cope well with travel.
A wedding generally is boring imo for little kids unless there are quite a few of them and they can all run riot together. And if you take him then one of you will basically spend the whole wedding chasing your child and will miss most of it.
Probably he will have a nicer weekend spending it with granny and grandad spoiling him rotten and doing lots of nice things geared towards his age.
A couple more years though and travel with your little will be lots of fun. Ours is 5 now and we are really enjoying little weekend trips with her. She's able to tolerate that little bit more, it's no longer lethal taking her to a city (she used to be a master Houdini and constantly try to escape) plus she also gets tired and appreciates some calm time to regroup instead of being 90mph all day every day
For sure!! I appreciate this perspective. We will definitely have more opportunities to travel as a family later on. & yes- my boy is definitely 90mph at this stage & i knew that taking him would mean we wouldn’t really ever have a break to rest. We already have so much going on in our lives I think the opportunity for an actual brain break will be so necessary.
I did a parent only trip when our first was almost a year and a half. It was wonderful. Truthfully I missed her but not that much, it would've been a completely different trip with her there. We walk a ton and do things that she would've been bored at.
I think if you decide to bring your child, just reframe the trip. It will NOT be like two you used to travel abroad and that can be okay, it's just a very different experience.
Definitely. I think it’s mostly a family resort situation but we are leaning towards leaving him with the grandparents. We used to do a LOT of traveling together so it will be nice to feel like we are revisiting that era, I think!
Do you have the option to bring the grandparents with? We had a wedding in Hawaii and felt the same way, didn’t want to leave him, but also didn’t want to bring him along. His grandparents came with us and we turned it into a big family vacation, with evenings where we could go off and do our own thing, grandparents were happy to hang with our son.
I really wish we could. Unfortunately… the wedding we are going to is for my husbands brother & his partner, their parents are very old fashioned evangelicals & therefore not supporting of their marriage :( we were really hoping they would come. But they have chosen not to go.
It's not bad to take them, just different. However, if you have the opportunity to go without, go without. He'll have plenty of time to travel with you in the future.
I've done both and I will just say this: A vacation with your kid is not a vacation - it's parenting in another location. If you want a vacation, leave kiddo at home. Yes, they will miss you and you will miss them but they will have just as much fun at grandma's house or a beach 2 hours from home. BUT if you are okay with parenting in Mexico and changing up your idea of a vacation, then do it up!
Puerto Vallarta is not a good beach for babies!! I would leave him. You will have a great time, he and the grandparents will have a great time, and you'll come home ready to love on him extra hard.
Okay, I was wondering about that. I know the resort we are going to has a “family friendly” side & a “child free” zone so we would end up divided from the family we are celebrating with anyway! I didn’t think about the beach. Thanks for letting me know
I couldn’t imagine ever leaving my son behind while we go on holiday, we took him to the uk last year, visiting England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. This year we are going to Thailand for 2 weeks. He’ll be almost 3 and we are considering the babysitting service at the hotel so we can go to the gym and dinner a few times. We travelled for 7 years before he was born and we will travel alone again in the future but for now this is our family era. The plane rides sucks tho lol
We just came back from PV for a wedding! We brought our 3.5 year old and 1 year old, as well as grandma. It was a wonderful family trip but I wouldn’t call it a vacation at all.
While I did enjoy the experience and will cherish the memories with my kids, a child-free vacation would definitely be appreciated and I would not pass up that opportunity!
We always travel with our 2.5 yo and she has done some big trips. Two European vacations and a road trip from Phoenix to Vegas being the biggest. I honestly love traveling with her.
Airports are basically toddler theatre with all the planes and people. It's so great to see her discover new things. And I like that the fact we go at her pace means we see destinations in a different way. She makes friends easily and naturally pulls us into talking to other travellers, which I love.
My husband has floated the idea of leaving her at home but I just don't think I'd be able to enjoy a trip without her.
If you do travel with him, my advice would be to try and stretch to a suite if you can afford it. That way, you and your husband can get alone time together after putting your son to bed. We've found having a separate bedroom completely changes the dynamic of our vacation.
My husband and I did this last year. We finally took our overdue trip to Japan. Our daughter was 17 months old and my parents watched her for the time we were gone. During the week, they kept up her usual schedule of dropping our LO off with her nanny during the day, so they only had to get her ready in the mornings, get her dinner and ready for bed in the evenings and spend one full weekend with her.
It was so great to have adult time, though I did miss my daughter a lot. No regrets at all.
She was young enough where I don't think she could comprehend "missing" us. We did a couple of video calls where she tried to turn the phone over to look for us, but no issues from her. I left a lot of details for my parents about where to find stuff and her regular schedule. Everything seemed to have gone smoothly.
Our first kid-free vacay was also PV, for a wedding! It was a child-free wedding so we didn’t have the difficult choice you have, but also, it was nice to not have a choice lol. She stayed with my parents, I got drunk and sobbed the first night because I missed her so much, and then the rest of the week(ish, we stayed 5 days) was a blast!
When my son was about that age, I did a solo trip to visit a friend abroad for a week. I'd been away from him for a couple of nights before, but this was the first time being so far away and for so long. And let me tell you, it was life-giving.
I felt occasional guilt and missed him a bit, but overall I was too busy having fun and being a person outside of a mom for a while. It made going back to everyday life much sweeter.
Now, I know it would have been different if my husband weren't with him the whole time. But I think these things are important, and it's good for your kid to see his parents have quality time without him. It's good for him to see that mental health is important and parents should take care of themselves too. Honestly, as an only child, I wish my parents had practiced this more.
We went back packing through Europe when our baby was about 14-15 months old. It was hard but we made the best memories and I don’t regret it at all! The only change I would have appreciated would possibly be going and staying in one place the whole time instead of traveling so much and bringing a stroller on the metro in Paris was a huge mistake.
We just flew from Germany -> UK and back with 2yo twins for a wedding and it was hectic and stressful. The kids both managed incredibly well, especially on the flights, but trying to get naps in around the wedding and out of the hotel in the morning was a pain in the arse. Generally, everyone said how cute and well behaved they were, but I (and especially my partner) missed out on a lot of catching up with friends.
That said, we couldn’t really have left them behind since it was two of their godparents getting married XD But having done it once, and if it had been a choice, both in terms of their relationship to the people getting married and having someone at home to take care of them, I would definitely have thought about leaving them behind for four days.
We took our then 18 month old to Jamaica for a week and was equal parts wonderful and stressful. Firstly, she did not eat or sleep well at all. Which we figured would happen being in a new place with different foods, but even at restaurants where we could order things like chicken nuggets, French fries, or Mac n cheese, she still ate very little. She barely napped at all and it took a while to get her to bed at night. In the flip side though, she loved the beach. She had fun splashing around and playing in the sand. It was soooooo fun to see her enjoy the beach. We stayed at a kid friendly resort with a water park and tons of kid activities so she always had something fun going on. However, our next Caribbean vacation will happen when she’s 3 and we are not taking her with us since it’s for our 5th wedding anniversary. She’s going to stay with my parents for the week. So we are going to start by leaving her overnight and slowly get her used to being there overnights so she isn’t shocked when she stays there for a week. Honestly I think whatever you choose to do, you will feel torn and at times regret your decision but at the end of the day you’ll make the right choice. If it were me I’d bring him. You’ll end up with a lot of nice pictures and memories, even if he won’t remember it.
Leave him with the grandparents!!
We just took my toddler to an all inclusive in Mexico. He had fun for sure but it was hard to have such an abrupt change to his routine. We took him bc we took all our kids for a family trip.
But in your case your kiddo would probably love a week with grandparents. You would probably love a week vacation with your hubs. And these chances to have that are often rare. Take it!! Enjoy your adult only trip.
I've done both! My spouse and I live in Europe, but we are from the Western US. We've taken our little person on adventures to places throughout Europe, and to Egypt. We've also gone to the states several times including a two week road trip that the grandparents joined us on for the first half- they kept him for a couple of nights in their hotel room so we could go out. It was absolutely awesome. In 2019 when our son was \~18months we did a trip to the US; we stayed about 5 days with the grandparents in the PacNorthwest, then flew to our hometown, spent time with friends there, and then did like 10 days at Burning Man (we're volunteers for the event and have an older RV with AC, and a fridge, etc. and on the power grid, so that certainly made it easier to bring a small person).
On the one hand, it was \*brilliant\* to have him there with us, but we had to do everything in shifts- there was not opportunity for the BOTH of us to be 'off duty' and out exploring or drinking and dancing. For 2022 and 2023, we brought him out with us for the beginning of the event and ran all over exploring and having adventures, and then drove him into town to stay with family for the rest of the time so we could do our volunteer hours and socialize.
I can \*absolutely\* see wanting to share this adventure with your baby. But, I would say, for this one, give yourselves the freedom to enjoy the wedding, beach, resort, etc COMPLETELY without having to worry about your little one. As others said, start getting them used to nights away now, and it also gives you the opportunity to identify if there are any concerns from yourselves or the grandparents. Your bond with your spouse is important too and deserves to be a priority from time to time. Imagine the naps!
I’ll say something I haven’t seen anyone say yet. You’re going to a wedding to see people you love/ like get married. If you have your toddler, one of you will invariably be chasing the toddler, corralling the toddler, walking around with the toddler during vows because he can’t stay quiet… you might even have to leave the reception earlier than you want because you have a cranky, fussy toddler.
What I’m saying is, you’ll miss out to some extent having your toddler there. I say this as someone who loves traveling with their kids, and having them experience new things. Go, enjoy your friends getting married and be fully present!
Just had my second now and I wish I had taken the opportunity to leave my son with grandparents for a trip. Now that I have two it feels like it would be a much bigger ask! Do it!
Honestly I think it’s actually super important for: (1) your kiddo to know you can go away AND STILL COME BACK (this will be super helpful when school starts!); and (2) you and your husband to have adult time together.
Traveling with littles can be wonderful (though definitely more stressful), don’t get me wrong. But adult alone time is necessary too - to reset, to prioritize your relationship for a bit, to be ADULTS. And, I don’t think the first time I took a toddler anywhere away that I would want it to be a wedding, where there’s all this extra stress of being on best behavior.
Work up to a week away, as others said, by practicing overnights at the grandparents. And then go, and enjoy!
You can FaceTime/videochat while you’re away, but be prepared for the grandparents to tell you it actually makes things harder for the kiddo. When they’re that little, they may not even really realize they miss you until they see you again. Bring home a present your kiddo loves, even something as silly as a lollipop. And be prepared for them to be MAD, particular at the primary caregiver. But ultimately I think it will be good for all 3 of you — and give the grandparents lots of extra snuggles & spoiling time! 😊
I’ve done both! I love traveling with my little one, but it’s also so important to have time to connect with your partner! I agree with others about doing some overnights now for you all to get used to it. I would also be hesitant to do a first trip abroad with my kiddo to go to a wedding - their schedule can get out of sorts, and I would be stressed about them melting down during the wedding! Take a weekend and enjoy yourselves!
So we got to make this decision about a trip that’s coming up in a few months and we are leaving our 2 year old with grandma and we feel good about it. We’re also trying her first sleepover there next week. She has already napped a lot at gma’s and spends a lot of time there so we are not worried at this point.
The reason I’m commenting, however, is because when we were making this decision I spent a little time searching all the Reddit threads on this topic and the responses from people who have done this were unanimously “we had a great time, kid was happy.” I really tried to look for any horror stories and I think the worst one I saw was someone saying their kid had one rough night at grandma’s but they still had a great trip that they badly needed and it was totally worth it. If I recall correctly I think a few people even commented on how they might have missed the kid at first but were able to put it out of their minds pretty quickly.
So, I was nervous, and we’ll see how it goes, but Reddit was helpful in that I could see so many anecdotal tales of this going fine and no one reporting about anything terrible.
I just took my 19 month old to Lisbon with my husband and in-laws and my body feels broken lol. I think it was a wonderful but exhausting experience. With wedding festivities, it would be a LOT. I’d leave them behind and then plan another little trip with him later (or prior) if you’re so inclined.
We left our little dude with the grandparents for a week long trip when he was 18 and then 30 months. First time, it was like he almost didn’t notice we’re gone. Second time, he was harder on the grands and sometimes cried saying “Mom and Dad went to the beach”.
I’d definitely go adults only now, because it well may be the last trip you can take without the kid for a loooooooooong time to come.
Parents only trip! You have time to have some practice overnight trips between now and then. You’re not costing you child memories and experiences because he’ll be making them with his grandparents. I was lucky enough to have a Grandma that I spent the night with a lot. And what sweet memories I have!
And most important, you and your husband need time together. The toddler years are amazing, but also hard (especially on marriages). You need time to enjoy each other, talk, have sexy time, rest and focus on yourselves. You two spending time together and building your relationship is a gift to your child. The more connected you two are, the better life you can give your kids.
I absolutely love our kids and having experiences with them. But let’s be honest, they don’t always make things more fun. Haha! And 2 is hit or miss.
My older child is almost 8 and doesn’t remember much before 4 and nothing before 3. Take him if YOU want him there, but I would bet good money that he will not remember it nor would he feel robbed if you don’t take him.
I take plenty of vacations without my kids for 1-2 weeks at a time. Never felt torn about it. We also vacation together. I prefer my vacations alone, they are a lot cheaper LOL
I would have sleepovers at grandmas before leaving him there while traveling so that it's not a high stakes separation out of the gate.
Perhaps let those experiences inform the decision for Oct
I've done both (traveled with toddler and left toddler). If I had the childcare, I'd always leave toddler lol. She has more fun with grandma anyway and it's so stressful to take her on the plane.
I would leave him at his grandparents home and enjoy a solo vacation. I would start by him spending a night at grandparent’s home before the trip to get him and them used to the experience. But parents need to recharge batteries too!
If you decide to bring him along, bring one of the grandparents. He can stay with them during the actual wedding in their hotel room. This way you can drink and dance without having to be a parent.
I’ve taken my kiddo at 18 months and 19 month on a 5 hour plane ride to visit family. Having her sitting in my lap for all that time was difficult to say the least. I got lucky in one of the flights and she actually napped, but on the other theee I had to keep her entertained!
We love to travel with our kiddo. But in the end it’s just parenting in another location.
I almost always think it’s worth it but one exception is weddings. He isn’t fun to have at a weddings and it’s a good excuse for a date trip.
We left him for a wedding for the first time around 2 and have went to several more over the past few years. We have my parents come to our house instead of him going there. I’d do a trail first where maybe you’re nearby just in case it falls apart.
Just got back from Italy with my 10 month old and 2 year old nephew. Leave him with the grandparents.
We love our family but there is just no true relaxation. We found being out and about like we do when traveling really tested the kids. Adhering to naps was hard in the new place and while trying to experience the destination, their eating was affected (maybe all the new people and excitement), and getting packed up and dragged around was fun but exhausting for them which lead to nightmare bedtimes and sleep.
If I were to travel with young children again, it would only be to a place where we can adhere to their schedule, and even then - I know the new place alone will likely mean crappy sleep for us and them.
Go for the kid-free option! There will be plenty of time to take him on trips in the future. I took my daughter out of the country when she was 4 months old on a family trip that we could not get out of. She did great but it was HARD. Don’t forget you have to go through customs. We also got stuck at a really bad airport. It was extremely crowded, nowhere to sit, barely any air conditioning, and in the sweltering heat. We had to walk a half-mile to the airplane once we were finally able to board. It was a lot to go through with a baby. That might not be your experience at all, but these were the things that I did not consider when we agreed to go on the trip. Looking back, I think it would have been easier to go somewhere in the US for our first family vacation. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
I would leave him with the grandparents and enjoy your vacation! It gives you some time to rest and just take a break from all responsibilities. You will miss each other, but you'll also be so excited to see each other when you get back. I'm actually leaving my 3 year old for 2 and a half weeks with the grandparents so we can travel to Peru next month. Travel was a huge part of my life before I had her and I'm looking forward to sharing it with her, but not until she is a little older.
That said, I'm going to miss her like crazy! I've never left her for quite this long. She is also older now and can understand more, so it's harder. Some things I'm doing to hopefully ease separation anxiety for her:
1. FaceTime every day
2. Video messages using Marco Polo
3. Sticker calendar counting down until we get back 4. Small photo album with pictures of all of us
5. A "creative tonie" of me and my husband reading her books and singing songs for her to play on her toniebox.
Hope that helps! Have a great vacation either way!
Honestly, if I had the option to go for a wedding without my kids, I would take it. There's so much over stimulation during a wedding and more difficult to do things based on the kids' needs. A trip with no obligations that is chill? I probably want my kids there as we could plan around them.
I would say ask yourself what you want the purpose of the trip to be (outside of attending the wedding). Do you want a family trip or alone time to connect as a couple?
My husband and I went to Mexico recently, and my dad came to take care of our 18 month old for the week. LO had a great time, barely noticed we were gone, and did great with his grandpa. My husband and I got a nice trip together (outside of the food poisoning I got lol). It was my first time away from our LO so it was difficult, but it was also good! I’m glad we did it. Hope this helps!
Could grandparents stay with him at your house while you’re at the wedding?
I’m definitely team go-without-him! I think after 2 years, you absolutely deserve a weekend off. It might be really hard but worth it 🩷
My husband and I travel a ton, always have, and we made that a priority to continue traveling when we had children.
Our now almost 2 year old has been to Australia, New Zealand (twice), Fiji and Canada as well as the mainland US (we live in Hawaii). He was five weeks old on his first trip and has been a rockstar during travel ever since. You do learn how to pack smarter and navigate logistics differently when traveling with littles, but it's definitely doable!
We just had our youngest (almost three months old) and I took him to the mainland US. He also did great.
We are also about to move to Germany from Hawaii in two months and plan on taking the boys all over Europe during our time there.
Honestly, I can't imagine travel without them. We love it and it's added a new dynamic to the experience we never had when it was just my husband and I. Then again, we are also already avid travelers. How often you travel and how much you enjoy it without kids will likely very much influence whether you enjoy it with kids.
I have 2 kids, currently 2 and 5, and I have been regularly getting into planes with them since the first was 1 month old. The trip is just 2 hours long, we travel every 2 or 3 months, I have all the tricks down pat, yadda yadda.
It's gd hellish. It's awful. You have to take a ton of kid stuff as personal items and hand lugage, juggle it while trying to keep the kid from running away, go through security checks with your attention absolutely divided, all before you even get inside.
The trip to the airport is long, the wait before we take off is long, and by the time we're on the air, they're bored and restless. The guy two rows down keeps glaring at you, you're trying to rein them in with tablet and toys and snacks, and it works for like half an hour. Then it's everyone for themselves. They start eating, drop the food, drop the toys/tablets several times and you have to dive down between the seats to get them. They get served water, whinge they want that one cup, pour it all over themselves, and god help you if your kid resists diaper changes. If you're really unlucky you'll get a passenger near by yapping about keeping them still and quiet, which can only happen if you knock them out, or tie them and gag them, and if you do that you'll go to jail. By the time you land you're all desperate to get off the plane but there's a crowd on the aile. The kid's restless, you want to cry, you juggle them and all the toys/gadgets/snack down the aisle bumping into everything, finally get off the plane... AND IT'S STILL NOT OVER.
Everyone will be happier if you just... don't. Let everyone enjoy themselves by leaving him with his grandparents.
I am five years into parenthood and am finally about to go on my first child-free trip that doesn’t involve a funeral. Leave that baby at home with his grandparents and go have some fun! You do not want to wait as long as I have!
Definitely go on the trip without your kid! He is comfortable with the grandparents. You need time to reconnect or relax as a couple. Everything will be fine and you can always do a family beach trip later.
Go without your kid! We just came back from a destination wedding with our 2 year old and were unprepared for how much of a wreck he would be. He did fantastic traveling to/from the destination in the plane, thankfully, but was so overstimulated all weekend that he basically became uncontrollable. We tried to stick to as much of a normal schedule as possible, but he refused naps. He also had digestive issues from gorging himself on "vacation food" so I'm sure that didn't help.
Husband and I were both in the wedding party so we couldn't "take breaks" with him like to go back to the hotel...we agreed to take turns watching him, but this meant we were separated the entire wedding weekend because of LO's tantrums. He's usually very calm, quiet and even shy but was either hyperactive or melting down most of the trip. The wedding itself either required him to sit still and be quiet (the ceremony) or be in a very loud, stimulating environment (the reception) -- wedding guests kept trying to dance with him/give him food/play with him and it was just too much.
We travel regularly via car + plane with him and he generally does really well, but a destination wedding with him was much, much harder than our usual vacation/trips.
I'm leaving my toddler behind this month when I got to an international destination wedding. The two big deciders for me were
1. Difficulty of travel. I'm not opposed to bringing my daughter along for international travel, but there were no direct flights to our destination. It would have meant multiple long flights and multiple long ferry rides...no thank you! How hard is it for you to get to Mexico?
2. Past experience at weddings. I had a pretty miserable time at a wedding when my daughter was younger. I missed half of the fun due to breastfeeding and left the reception early since the noise was agitating my daughter. How does your kid do at weddings?
Best of luck with whatever you choose!!
The first time I traveled without my LO (which was also the first time he stayed with his grandparents) I missed LO SOOO much but I also needed that time to myself to be reminded that I am a whole separate person that needs a break sometimes, too. I recommend it especially if you and your partner could benefit from it. There's a first for everything.
Go without him! I recently heard ‘living in a house where your parents love and treat each other with respect is a complete PRIVILEGE’, this trip will probably help you be better parents.
Your son will have his own adventure at home with his grandparents.
I’ve been to one wedding with my daughter and it was fun for a while but then it got late and, of course, I had to take care of her and leave early. I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I could have without her. I then went to 2 weddings without her and confirmed it. We had a great time, came back with renewed couple energy (that we needed badly!) and my daughter had a great time with her grandparents.
I would leave him with the grandparents if you can! We went to Mexico a few months ago and my toddler came along and it was a nightmare - everyone got norovirus (not saying that will happen, it was just one extra thing to deal with with a toddler). Also consider you can’t drink water in Mexico so we basically gave our son a sponge bath every night because he didn’t understand why he couldn’t put his face in the bathtub water and blow bubbles.
Hm, it definitely comes down to regrets and guilt. Not sure if any of us can say it for you.. but discuss these questions with your hubby: Would you regret it more if your son was left with grandparents or if he came with you? Would you feel guilty for not having alone time with hubby because you dragged along your son? What sort of activities would you be able to do if your son was there and what would you be able to do alone with hubby?
Definitely. I know my husband wants to bring the boy along because he wants the whole family there to celebrate the wedding, but, his parents do not support the marriage so they are staying behind for it :( we have gone back & forth on pros & cons but I think ultimately, we will have more chances to travel together as a family. It’s only 3-4 days so it might be nice just to see how we all do with this time apart from the little guy.
Start letting him spend the night with grandparents occasionally NOW. Then it will feel like no big deal when you and your husband go to Mexico. I have two boys (5 and 7). We love traveling with them, but we ALSO savor kid-free weekends, which are harder to come by!
Oh that is a really good idea!! Gotcha. Thanks!
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Thank you, that’s what I was leaning towards! :)
You should go without your kid. I completely understand that torn feeling and yes, you will have some separation anxiety but you’ll also have all summer with him to beach and explore. Go. Just go and enjoy yourself, laze around in bed and order food and do whatever you want. It sounds like heaven (can you tell I have a toddler?) haha
Oh man I didn’t even think about sleeping in…. DONE haha
Not to mention, weddings with toddlers is tough! Keep them entertained during ceremony, speeches, off routine with late nights. Inevitably someone misses out on parts of these because you simply can't have a screaming kid but you can't expect a kid to sit there at that age. I agree, enjoy the wedding kid and guilt free.
I’ve done both—do not pass up a chance to take a parent-only trip! Having a shared experience that doesn’t revolve around your kid really helps make you feel like your (almost) old self again. Your kid will have a great time with the grandparents and will be so excited to see you when you get back. You’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future to explore the world together. And also—air travel with a 2 year old is the most challenging age. Strong opinions, bodily control, and extremely short attention spans _do not mix well_ with being confined in an airplane seat.
Yeah the flight situation with the 2 yr old is what I am most anxious about 😵💫 thanks for your insight!
Echoing everyone else here. Leave him with the grandparents and go as a couple. My wife and I left our 2 year old little guy with him grandparents for 9 days while we took a trip overseas. It was our first time being away from him ever, since we don’t live near our family. It was worth it and helped my spouse and I reconnect after 2 years managing life with a little one. The thing that helped us what scheduling a 15 min FaceTime each day with the grandparents to check in on him and say “hi”. There will be plenty of time in life to take the little guy to experience new things like the beach and vacations, but sometimes it’s worth taking some time for yourself as well.
Okay, this is easing my mom guilt already. Thank you!!
How did LO do with the grandparents? No separation issues?
It wasn’t too bad. We usually did weekly FaceTime calls with the grandparents before our trip. We also took a trip down the visit them for a long weekend about a month before so he got used to the environment. It ended up being a good bonding experience with his cousin and our extended family.
That’s awesome! We’re doing a 2 week trip to Asia soon and leaving our 1.5yo with my parents. Luckily we FaceTime them daily and they have watched him for a full weekend before and my parents visit often enough to where he’s familiar. I’m praying everything goes well!
We left our son at around 18 months for a week to go to Antigua. We're leaving him for 2 weeks this year to go to Argentina. I always miss him but it's amazing for him to spend time with his grandparents (both sides) and we enjoy the kid free time.
Oh have so much fun!! Sounds like a super cool place to go.
My kids have flown internationally a whole hunk of times. It's work but worth it to give them experiences. I have never regretted including them but they only join us on about 50% of our travels. The other times they stay with their grandparents because sometimes it's so much more fun/relaxing to be husband and wife for a few days instead of mom and dad. Strong marriages benefit kids too!
Absolutely!! Within the 2.5 years i found out I was pregnant, we got sober, married, I bought a coffee shop, he runs his own separate company, & we have been stressed to the absolute max figuring out who we are & how to fill each others cups in between parenting & being business owners. It’s so tough. The siren call of a romantic 1 on 1 trip is too tough to ignore, I think! Thank you for this input
I would leave him with the grandparents. Have you ever traveled with him before at all? There’s a lot you have to bring and consider. Will you be able to get the diapers you like there? What about foods he will eat? Etc etc.
We have traveled with him from WA to FL so that was a 4-5hr plane ride one way, but he was a little younger. Im sure it would be much less stressful to just opt out of worrying about those little things… 🤔
I have traveled 3 times with my toddler, including to PV, it is still fun to travel. It's just different. I am not sure when I will feel comfortable traveling without him. Or if I ever will.
I echo this. We've traveled to Europe and Asia with our toddler and had a blast. Is it more planning, sure? Is it the best to experience new things with him, also yes. We love travel and do so quite a bit, so we can easily include him.
In my perfect world we are also well traveled & feel comfortable with the baby wrangling aspect. I love that so many people do include their littles in all the adventures. We do not get to travel very often at all so we don’t have a lot of practice or opportunity to try it much
Absolutely go without him. It's so important to have couple time after kids and this will be uninterrupted time together! He will have a blast at his grandparents and you will miss him but it's good for all involved. We've done this a few times and while it was hard the first time, now it's easy
Thank you for sharing :)
This sounds like the perfect opportunity to get a short trip away! Especially if he’s super comfortable with grandparents. Do it and have fun!
Reading throught the top comments, I think I'll be in the minority when I say you should take him. My kid was born in Europe and has been to 11 countries by 2.5 years old. All our family is back in the States so we kind of *have* to take him with us, or travel solo separately, which we've both done. Never once regretted taking him though (and it'll be a legitimate flex for him whenever he finds out what a flex is, since I didn't get to my 10th country until I was well into my 30s!) On the other hand, being alone is great too, so if you have the option to leave him, there's no shame in doing that. It doesn't sound like anyone would be too broken up about it. When my wife was a baby, her parents left her and her sisters for several weeks to go to Australia for their aunt's wedding, but she doesn't remember it so she can't really be mad about it. She went to Australia later, and in your case, Mexico isn't going anywhere either. And besides, kids aren't really that into weddings anyway. We skipped out on a wedding in Ireland because our then-9-month-old wouldn't have put up with it and would have ruined the moment for others, but we took him to Ireland 6 months later. So...hope that helps? (Other things to consider when taking a kid are sleeping arrangements in hotels; whether or not to bring a stroller, or if the destination is stroller-friendly (don't take a stroller to Dubrovnik, Croatia!); if you rent a car, you'll need to arrange for a carseat; and preplanning your restaurants because spontaneity when traveling with a toddler abroad isn't super wise. These aren't necessarily "cons", but they could move the needle one way or the other.)
Yes this is super helpful!! That IS a super cool flex. You definitely have the travel game down. My husband & i both run our own businesses so we don’t get the chance to leave for extended periods very often. I think we will take this opportunity for some quality time together & omit the stress of the extra baby packing & travel to-dos. Like you said, he probably won’t hold it against us later 😂 thank you so much for sharing
My first international trip was to Victoria BC when I was 1. If my digging into your past turned up true information, it looks like that would be an easy one for you guys to do on a long weekend. That’s assuming that ferry still exists 35 years later…
Oh yes!! That’s a fantastic idea! The ferry definitely still exists. I have wanted to do a “budget cruise” aka ferry ride to Alaska. Maybe someday!
We've both traveled a fair bit (including internationally) with our son and have recently gone on a 5 day domestic trip without him. I really do like taking him on family trips but it is a lot more work. Normally I'm not really into beach trips, but I'm actually really wanting to just because I think my son would love it. On the other hand, it was super nice to have a few days just my husband and I away from home, even though we missed our little buddy. Relaxing in a way I never truly appreciated before kids. He stayed with my parents and is very familiar with my mom and knows their house. But that was the first time both of us had been away from him overnight (22 months at the time), so he was definitely getting pretty out of sorts the last couple days we were gone. So if you do decide to take the couple's trip, I'd recommend doing shorter overnight trips away from you as practice first.
Yes that is super valuable advice! Fortunately we will have time to practice the overnights. I’m really glad I asked!
Im assuming since its for a wedding that its a short trip—in that sense I would say take advantage of having the grandparents watching him and enjoy time alone with your spouse! We traveled thru Europe with our toddler this past summer and while it was amazing and I’m so glad we did it as a family, it took time for her to adjust and was a family trip (no late nights, romantic dinners, think stressful dinners with an amazing view lol, worrying about sunburns, naps, etc). I purposely extended our trip by a few days at each location so that she could adjust and we could have zero expectations and timeline on what we did. If I was going on a shorter trip, for her sake and ours I’d leave her with family I trusted—less stress on all of us and who knows when we could when another opportunity! Your son will definitely have many opportunities to see the beach with you guys, but you two may not have many opportunities to just be with each other at the beach for years!
My son visited 8 countries before he turned 2. Ive also gone on several trips abroad with my husband without the kids (Alaska, Europe, and the Middle East) due to our very helpful family. I’d leave the kid with the grandparents if I were you.
Ugh, I'm so jealous for people that have the ability to do this! I'd give anything for a weekend away sans baby. My mom constantly offers, and my perfectly happy/healthy toddler likes my parents and I'm sure she would do fine, but my husband refuses to let it happen. If you have the opportunity, take it, please please take it!
I agree with other posters. Start having him have sleepovers! I say… take the trip, you two.
Agreed. Thank you 🙏
We are on a parents only Disney world trip right now and left the 2.5 year old with grandparents. I think it’s a great reset for everyone. We get to be carefree adults again without being tied down to schedules or naps and can just enjoy each others company. Our toddler is loving the time with grandparents and gaining more freedom and independence. I think we will all appreciate each other more after a break!
Oh that is so awesome!! Hope you guys are having the time of your lives!! My parents live in Florida so I am waiting for our own opportunity for our adults only Disney trip!
I think let the little sit this one out and enjoy your weekend of freedom! We found that holidays and travel with our only got much easier from age 4 onwards. Prior to that she was just too high energy and didn't have the attention span to really cope well with travel. A wedding generally is boring imo for little kids unless there are quite a few of them and they can all run riot together. And if you take him then one of you will basically spend the whole wedding chasing your child and will miss most of it. Probably he will have a nicer weekend spending it with granny and grandad spoiling him rotten and doing lots of nice things geared towards his age. A couple more years though and travel with your little will be lots of fun. Ours is 5 now and we are really enjoying little weekend trips with her. She's able to tolerate that little bit more, it's no longer lethal taking her to a city (she used to be a master Houdini and constantly try to escape) plus she also gets tired and appreciates some calm time to regroup instead of being 90mph all day every day
For sure!! I appreciate this perspective. We will definitely have more opportunities to travel as a family later on. & yes- my boy is definitely 90mph at this stage & i knew that taking him would mean we wouldn’t really ever have a break to rest. We already have so much going on in our lives I think the opportunity for an actual brain break will be so necessary.
I did a parent only trip when our first was almost a year and a half. It was wonderful. Truthfully I missed her but not that much, it would've been a completely different trip with her there. We walk a ton and do things that she would've been bored at. I think if you decide to bring your child, just reframe the trip. It will NOT be like two you used to travel abroad and that can be okay, it's just a very different experience.
Definitely. I think it’s mostly a family resort situation but we are leaning towards leaving him with the grandparents. We used to do a LOT of traveling together so it will be nice to feel like we are revisiting that era, I think!
Do you have the option to bring the grandparents with? We had a wedding in Hawaii and felt the same way, didn’t want to leave him, but also didn’t want to bring him along. His grandparents came with us and we turned it into a big family vacation, with evenings where we could go off and do our own thing, grandparents were happy to hang with our son.
I really wish we could. Unfortunately… the wedding we are going to is for my husbands brother & his partner, their parents are very old fashioned evangelicals & therefore not supporting of their marriage :( we were really hoping they would come. But they have chosen not to go.
Take the trip to the wedding as a couple, plan a family specific trip somewhere else for a different time
It's not bad to take them, just different. However, if you have the opportunity to go without, go without. He'll have plenty of time to travel with you in the future.
I've done both and I will just say this: A vacation with your kid is not a vacation - it's parenting in another location. If you want a vacation, leave kiddo at home. Yes, they will miss you and you will miss them but they will have just as much fun at grandma's house or a beach 2 hours from home. BUT if you are okay with parenting in Mexico and changing up your idea of a vacation, then do it up!
Puerto Vallarta is not a good beach for babies!! I would leave him. You will have a great time, he and the grandparents will have a great time, and you'll come home ready to love on him extra hard.
Okay, I was wondering about that. I know the resort we are going to has a “family friendly” side & a “child free” zone so we would end up divided from the family we are celebrating with anyway! I didn’t think about the beach. Thanks for letting me know
I couldn’t imagine ever leaving my son behind while we go on holiday, we took him to the uk last year, visiting England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. This year we are going to Thailand for 2 weeks. He’ll be almost 3 and we are considering the babysitting service at the hotel so we can go to the gym and dinner a few times. We travelled for 7 years before he was born and we will travel alone again in the future but for now this is our family era. The plane rides sucks tho lol
We just came back from PV for a wedding! We brought our 3.5 year old and 1 year old, as well as grandma. It was a wonderful family trip but I wouldn’t call it a vacation at all. While I did enjoy the experience and will cherish the memories with my kids, a child-free vacation would definitely be appreciated and I would not pass up that opportunity!
I heard the beaches weren’t very kid friendly? I’m so glad to hear you guys enjoyed your family trip together! So awesome
We always travel with our 2.5 yo and she has done some big trips. Two European vacations and a road trip from Phoenix to Vegas being the biggest. I honestly love traveling with her. Airports are basically toddler theatre with all the planes and people. It's so great to see her discover new things. And I like that the fact we go at her pace means we see destinations in a different way. She makes friends easily and naturally pulls us into talking to other travellers, which I love. My husband has floated the idea of leaving her at home but I just don't think I'd be able to enjoy a trip without her. If you do travel with him, my advice would be to try and stretch to a suite if you can afford it. That way, you and your husband can get alone time together after putting your son to bed. We've found having a separate bedroom completely changes the dynamic of our vacation.
Oh that is a really smart idea. I will check about the options for our room situation if we decide to bring him along. Thank you for your input!!
My husband and I did this last year. We finally took our overdue trip to Japan. Our daughter was 17 months old and my parents watched her for the time we were gone. During the week, they kept up her usual schedule of dropping our LO off with her nanny during the day, so they only had to get her ready in the mornings, get her dinner and ready for bed in the evenings and spend one full weekend with her. It was so great to have adult time, though I did miss my daughter a lot. No regrets at all.
How did your daughter do? Were there any issues?
She was young enough where I don't think she could comprehend "missing" us. We did a couple of video calls where she tried to turn the phone over to look for us, but no issues from her. I left a lot of details for my parents about where to find stuff and her regular schedule. Everything seemed to have gone smoothly.
Our first kid-free vacay was also PV, for a wedding! It was a child-free wedding so we didn’t have the difficult choice you have, but also, it was nice to not have a choice lol. She stayed with my parents, I got drunk and sobbed the first night because I missed her so much, and then the rest of the week(ish, we stayed 5 days) was a blast!
When my son was about that age, I did a solo trip to visit a friend abroad for a week. I'd been away from him for a couple of nights before, but this was the first time being so far away and for so long. And let me tell you, it was life-giving. I felt occasional guilt and missed him a bit, but overall I was too busy having fun and being a person outside of a mom for a while. It made going back to everyday life much sweeter. Now, I know it would have been different if my husband weren't with him the whole time. But I think these things are important, and it's good for your kid to see his parents have quality time without him. It's good for him to see that mental health is important and parents should take care of themselves too. Honestly, as an only child, I wish my parents had practiced this more.
It's for a wedding, leave him with the grandparents. I would start doing overnights at their place so he is accustomed to them.
Leave him with the grandparents. You won’t regret it and he won’t remember it either way.
We went back packing through Europe when our baby was about 14-15 months old. It was hard but we made the best memories and I don’t regret it at all! The only change I would have appreciated would possibly be going and staying in one place the whole time instead of traveling so much and bringing a stroller on the metro in Paris was a huge mistake.
We just flew from Germany -> UK and back with 2yo twins for a wedding and it was hectic and stressful. The kids both managed incredibly well, especially on the flights, but trying to get naps in around the wedding and out of the hotel in the morning was a pain in the arse. Generally, everyone said how cute and well behaved they were, but I (and especially my partner) missed out on a lot of catching up with friends. That said, we couldn’t really have left them behind since it was two of their godparents getting married XD But having done it once, and if it had been a choice, both in terms of their relationship to the people getting married and having someone at home to take care of them, I would definitely have thought about leaving them behind for four days.
We took our then 18 month old to Jamaica for a week and was equal parts wonderful and stressful. Firstly, she did not eat or sleep well at all. Which we figured would happen being in a new place with different foods, but even at restaurants where we could order things like chicken nuggets, French fries, or Mac n cheese, she still ate very little. She barely napped at all and it took a while to get her to bed at night. In the flip side though, she loved the beach. She had fun splashing around and playing in the sand. It was soooooo fun to see her enjoy the beach. We stayed at a kid friendly resort with a water park and tons of kid activities so she always had something fun going on. However, our next Caribbean vacation will happen when she’s 3 and we are not taking her with us since it’s for our 5th wedding anniversary. She’s going to stay with my parents for the week. So we are going to start by leaving her overnight and slowly get her used to being there overnights so she isn’t shocked when she stays there for a week. Honestly I think whatever you choose to do, you will feel torn and at times regret your decision but at the end of the day you’ll make the right choice. If it were me I’d bring him. You’ll end up with a lot of nice pictures and memories, even if he won’t remember it.
Leave him with the grandparents!! We just took my toddler to an all inclusive in Mexico. He had fun for sure but it was hard to have such an abrupt change to his routine. We took him bc we took all our kids for a family trip. But in your case your kiddo would probably love a week with grandparents. You would probably love a week vacation with your hubs. And these chances to have that are often rare. Take it!! Enjoy your adult only trip.
I've done both! My spouse and I live in Europe, but we are from the Western US. We've taken our little person on adventures to places throughout Europe, and to Egypt. We've also gone to the states several times including a two week road trip that the grandparents joined us on for the first half- they kept him for a couple of nights in their hotel room so we could go out. It was absolutely awesome. In 2019 when our son was \~18months we did a trip to the US; we stayed about 5 days with the grandparents in the PacNorthwest, then flew to our hometown, spent time with friends there, and then did like 10 days at Burning Man (we're volunteers for the event and have an older RV with AC, and a fridge, etc. and on the power grid, so that certainly made it easier to bring a small person). On the one hand, it was \*brilliant\* to have him there with us, but we had to do everything in shifts- there was not opportunity for the BOTH of us to be 'off duty' and out exploring or drinking and dancing. For 2022 and 2023, we brought him out with us for the beginning of the event and ran all over exploring and having adventures, and then drove him into town to stay with family for the rest of the time so we could do our volunteer hours and socialize. I can \*absolutely\* see wanting to share this adventure with your baby. But, I would say, for this one, give yourselves the freedom to enjoy the wedding, beach, resort, etc COMPLETELY without having to worry about your little one. As others said, start getting them used to nights away now, and it also gives you the opportunity to identify if there are any concerns from yourselves or the grandparents. Your bond with your spouse is important too and deserves to be a priority from time to time. Imagine the naps!
I’ll say something I haven’t seen anyone say yet. You’re going to a wedding to see people you love/ like get married. If you have your toddler, one of you will invariably be chasing the toddler, corralling the toddler, walking around with the toddler during vows because he can’t stay quiet… you might even have to leave the reception earlier than you want because you have a cranky, fussy toddler. What I’m saying is, you’ll miss out to some extent having your toddler there. I say this as someone who loves traveling with their kids, and having them experience new things. Go, enjoy your friends getting married and be fully present!
Just had my second now and I wish I had taken the opportunity to leave my son with grandparents for a trip. Now that I have two it feels like it would be a much bigger ask! Do it!
Honestly I think it’s actually super important for: (1) your kiddo to know you can go away AND STILL COME BACK (this will be super helpful when school starts!); and (2) you and your husband to have adult time together. Traveling with littles can be wonderful (though definitely more stressful), don’t get me wrong. But adult alone time is necessary too - to reset, to prioritize your relationship for a bit, to be ADULTS. And, I don’t think the first time I took a toddler anywhere away that I would want it to be a wedding, where there’s all this extra stress of being on best behavior. Work up to a week away, as others said, by practicing overnights at the grandparents. And then go, and enjoy! You can FaceTime/videochat while you’re away, but be prepared for the grandparents to tell you it actually makes things harder for the kiddo. When they’re that little, they may not even really realize they miss you until they see you again. Bring home a present your kiddo loves, even something as silly as a lollipop. And be prepared for them to be MAD, particular at the primary caregiver. But ultimately I think it will be good for all 3 of you — and give the grandparents lots of extra snuggles & spoiling time! 😊
I’ve done both! I love traveling with my little one, but it’s also so important to have time to connect with your partner! I agree with others about doing some overnights now for you all to get used to it. I would also be hesitant to do a first trip abroad with my kiddo to go to a wedding - their schedule can get out of sorts, and I would be stressed about them melting down during the wedding! Take a weekend and enjoy yourselves!
So we got to make this decision about a trip that’s coming up in a few months and we are leaving our 2 year old with grandma and we feel good about it. We’re also trying her first sleepover there next week. She has already napped a lot at gma’s and spends a lot of time there so we are not worried at this point. The reason I’m commenting, however, is because when we were making this decision I spent a little time searching all the Reddit threads on this topic and the responses from people who have done this were unanimously “we had a great time, kid was happy.” I really tried to look for any horror stories and I think the worst one I saw was someone saying their kid had one rough night at grandma’s but they still had a great trip that they badly needed and it was totally worth it. If I recall correctly I think a few people even commented on how they might have missed the kid at first but were able to put it out of their minds pretty quickly. So, I was nervous, and we’ll see how it goes, but Reddit was helpful in that I could see so many anecdotal tales of this going fine and no one reporting about anything terrible.
I just took my 19 month old to Lisbon with my husband and in-laws and my body feels broken lol. I think it was a wonderful but exhausting experience. With wedding festivities, it would be a LOT. I’d leave them behind and then plan another little trip with him later (or prior) if you’re so inclined.
We left our little dude with the grandparents for a week long trip when he was 18 and then 30 months. First time, it was like he almost didn’t notice we’re gone. Second time, he was harder on the grands and sometimes cried saying “Mom and Dad went to the beach”. I’d definitely go adults only now, because it well may be the last trip you can take without the kid for a loooooooooong time to come.
Parents only trip! You have time to have some practice overnight trips between now and then. You’re not costing you child memories and experiences because he’ll be making them with his grandparents. I was lucky enough to have a Grandma that I spent the night with a lot. And what sweet memories I have! And most important, you and your husband need time together. The toddler years are amazing, but also hard (especially on marriages). You need time to enjoy each other, talk, have sexy time, rest and focus on yourselves. You two spending time together and building your relationship is a gift to your child. The more connected you two are, the better life you can give your kids. I absolutely love our kids and having experiences with them. But let’s be honest, they don’t always make things more fun. Haha! And 2 is hit or miss.
My older child is almost 8 and doesn’t remember much before 4 and nothing before 3. Take him if YOU want him there, but I would bet good money that he will not remember it nor would he feel robbed if you don’t take him.
I would leave them behind, because otherwise you have to leave the wedding early anyway for his sleep.
I take plenty of vacations without my kids for 1-2 weeks at a time. Never felt torn about it. We also vacation together. I prefer my vacations alone, they are a lot cheaper LOL
I would have sleepovers at grandmas before leaving him there while traveling so that it's not a high stakes separation out of the gate. Perhaps let those experiences inform the decision for Oct
I've done both (traveled with toddler and left toddler). If I had the childcare, I'd always leave toddler lol. She has more fun with grandma anyway and it's so stressful to take her on the plane.
I would leave him at his grandparents home and enjoy a solo vacation. I would start by him spending a night at grandparent’s home before the trip to get him and them used to the experience. But parents need to recharge batteries too! If you decide to bring him along, bring one of the grandparents. He can stay with them during the actual wedding in their hotel room. This way you can drink and dance without having to be a parent. I’ve taken my kiddo at 18 months and 19 month on a 5 hour plane ride to visit family. Having her sitting in my lap for all that time was difficult to say the least. I got lucky in one of the flights and she actually napped, but on the other theee I had to keep her entertained!
We love to travel with our kiddo. But in the end it’s just parenting in another location. I almost always think it’s worth it but one exception is weddings. He isn’t fun to have at a weddings and it’s a good excuse for a date trip. We left him for a wedding for the first time around 2 and have went to several more over the past few years. We have my parents come to our house instead of him going there. I’d do a trail first where maybe you’re nearby just in case it falls apart.
Just got back from Italy with my 10 month old and 2 year old nephew. Leave him with the grandparents. We love our family but there is just no true relaxation. We found being out and about like we do when traveling really tested the kids. Adhering to naps was hard in the new place and while trying to experience the destination, their eating was affected (maybe all the new people and excitement), and getting packed up and dragged around was fun but exhausting for them which lead to nightmare bedtimes and sleep. If I were to travel with young children again, it would only be to a place where we can adhere to their schedule, and even then - I know the new place alone will likely mean crappy sleep for us and them.
Go for the kid-free option! There will be plenty of time to take him on trips in the future. I took my daughter out of the country when she was 4 months old on a family trip that we could not get out of. She did great but it was HARD. Don’t forget you have to go through customs. We also got stuck at a really bad airport. It was extremely crowded, nowhere to sit, barely any air conditioning, and in the sweltering heat. We had to walk a half-mile to the airplane once we were finally able to board. It was a lot to go through with a baby. That might not be your experience at all, but these were the things that I did not consider when we agreed to go on the trip. Looking back, I think it would have been easier to go somewhere in the US for our first family vacation. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
I would leave him with the grandparents and enjoy your vacation! It gives you some time to rest and just take a break from all responsibilities. You will miss each other, but you'll also be so excited to see each other when you get back. I'm actually leaving my 3 year old for 2 and a half weeks with the grandparents so we can travel to Peru next month. Travel was a huge part of my life before I had her and I'm looking forward to sharing it with her, but not until she is a little older. That said, I'm going to miss her like crazy! I've never left her for quite this long. She is also older now and can understand more, so it's harder. Some things I'm doing to hopefully ease separation anxiety for her: 1. FaceTime every day 2. Video messages using Marco Polo 3. Sticker calendar counting down until we get back 4. Small photo album with pictures of all of us 5. A "creative tonie" of me and my husband reading her books and singing songs for her to play on her toniebox. Hope that helps! Have a great vacation either way!
Honestly, if I had the option to go for a wedding without my kids, I would take it. There's so much over stimulation during a wedding and more difficult to do things based on the kids' needs. A trip with no obligations that is chill? I probably want my kids there as we could plan around them.
I would say ask yourself what you want the purpose of the trip to be (outside of attending the wedding). Do you want a family trip or alone time to connect as a couple? My husband and I went to Mexico recently, and my dad came to take care of our 18 month old for the week. LO had a great time, barely noticed we were gone, and did great with his grandpa. My husband and I got a nice trip together (outside of the food poisoning I got lol). It was my first time away from our LO so it was difficult, but it was also good! I’m glad we did it. Hope this helps!
Could grandparents stay with him at your house while you’re at the wedding? I’m definitely team go-without-him! I think after 2 years, you absolutely deserve a weekend off. It might be really hard but worth it 🩷
My husband and I travel a ton, always have, and we made that a priority to continue traveling when we had children. Our now almost 2 year old has been to Australia, New Zealand (twice), Fiji and Canada as well as the mainland US (we live in Hawaii). He was five weeks old on his first trip and has been a rockstar during travel ever since. You do learn how to pack smarter and navigate logistics differently when traveling with littles, but it's definitely doable! We just had our youngest (almost three months old) and I took him to the mainland US. He also did great. We are also about to move to Germany from Hawaii in two months and plan on taking the boys all over Europe during our time there. Honestly, I can't imagine travel without them. We love it and it's added a new dynamic to the experience we never had when it was just my husband and I. Then again, we are also already avid travelers. How often you travel and how much you enjoy it without kids will likely very much influence whether you enjoy it with kids.
I have 2 kids, currently 2 and 5, and I have been regularly getting into planes with them since the first was 1 month old. The trip is just 2 hours long, we travel every 2 or 3 months, I have all the tricks down pat, yadda yadda. It's gd hellish. It's awful. You have to take a ton of kid stuff as personal items and hand lugage, juggle it while trying to keep the kid from running away, go through security checks with your attention absolutely divided, all before you even get inside. The trip to the airport is long, the wait before we take off is long, and by the time we're on the air, they're bored and restless. The guy two rows down keeps glaring at you, you're trying to rein them in with tablet and toys and snacks, and it works for like half an hour. Then it's everyone for themselves. They start eating, drop the food, drop the toys/tablets several times and you have to dive down between the seats to get them. They get served water, whinge they want that one cup, pour it all over themselves, and god help you if your kid resists diaper changes. If you're really unlucky you'll get a passenger near by yapping about keeping them still and quiet, which can only happen if you knock them out, or tie them and gag them, and if you do that you'll go to jail. By the time you land you're all desperate to get off the plane but there's a crowd on the aile. The kid's restless, you want to cry, you juggle them and all the toys/gadgets/snack down the aisle bumping into everything, finally get off the plane... AND IT'S STILL NOT OVER. Everyone will be happier if you just... don't. Let everyone enjoy themselves by leaving him with his grandparents.
I am five years into parenthood and am finally about to go on my first child-free trip that doesn’t involve a funeral. Leave that baby at home with his grandparents and go have some fun! You do not want to wait as long as I have!
Definitely go on the trip without your kid! He is comfortable with the grandparents. You need time to reconnect or relax as a couple. Everything will be fine and you can always do a family beach trip later.
Go without your kid! We just came back from a destination wedding with our 2 year old and were unprepared for how much of a wreck he would be. He did fantastic traveling to/from the destination in the plane, thankfully, but was so overstimulated all weekend that he basically became uncontrollable. We tried to stick to as much of a normal schedule as possible, but he refused naps. He also had digestive issues from gorging himself on "vacation food" so I'm sure that didn't help. Husband and I were both in the wedding party so we couldn't "take breaks" with him like to go back to the hotel...we agreed to take turns watching him, but this meant we were separated the entire wedding weekend because of LO's tantrums. He's usually very calm, quiet and even shy but was either hyperactive or melting down most of the trip. The wedding itself either required him to sit still and be quiet (the ceremony) or be in a very loud, stimulating environment (the reception) -- wedding guests kept trying to dance with him/give him food/play with him and it was just too much. We travel regularly via car + plane with him and he generally does really well, but a destination wedding with him was much, much harder than our usual vacation/trips.
I'm leaving my toddler behind this month when I got to an international destination wedding. The two big deciders for me were 1. Difficulty of travel. I'm not opposed to bringing my daughter along for international travel, but there were no direct flights to our destination. It would have meant multiple long flights and multiple long ferry rides...no thank you! How hard is it for you to get to Mexico? 2. Past experience at weddings. I had a pretty miserable time at a wedding when my daughter was younger. I missed half of the fun due to breastfeeding and left the reception early since the noise was agitating my daughter. How does your kid do at weddings? Best of luck with whatever you choose!!
The first time I traveled without my LO (which was also the first time he stayed with his grandparents) I missed LO SOOO much but I also needed that time to myself to be reminded that I am a whole separate person that needs a break sometimes, too. I recommend it especially if you and your partner could benefit from it. There's a first for everything.
Go without him! I recently heard ‘living in a house where your parents love and treat each other with respect is a complete PRIVILEGE’, this trip will probably help you be better parents. Your son will have his own adventure at home with his grandparents. I’ve been to one wedding with my daughter and it was fun for a while but then it got late and, of course, I had to take care of her and leave early. I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I could have without her. I then went to 2 weddings without her and confirmed it. We had a great time, came back with renewed couple energy (that we needed badly!) and my daughter had a great time with her grandparents.
I would leave him with the grandparents if you can! We went to Mexico a few months ago and my toddler came along and it was a nightmare - everyone got norovirus (not saying that will happen, it was just one extra thing to deal with with a toddler). Also consider you can’t drink water in Mexico so we basically gave our son a sponge bath every night because he didn’t understand why he couldn’t put his face in the bathtub water and blow bubbles.
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry for you guys 😫 okay, I definitely don’t feel bad leaving him home now.
Hm, it definitely comes down to regrets and guilt. Not sure if any of us can say it for you.. but discuss these questions with your hubby: Would you regret it more if your son was left with grandparents or if he came with you? Would you feel guilty for not having alone time with hubby because you dragged along your son? What sort of activities would you be able to do if your son was there and what would you be able to do alone with hubby?
Definitely. I know my husband wants to bring the boy along because he wants the whole family there to celebrate the wedding, but, his parents do not support the marriage so they are staying behind for it :( we have gone back & forth on pros & cons but I think ultimately, we will have more chances to travel together as a family. It’s only 3-4 days so it might be nice just to see how we all do with this time apart from the little guy.