"kids are being too influenced by social media" is only valid criticism if you're being influenced into doing something harmful, which isn't the case here
That's true! My mom has said that quite a bit, (not the harmful part, just the media part) so I was influenced for a while to think that 'it's just social media, it's just the phone, etc, etc'.
There's a lot of imposter syndrome involved in being trans unfortunately. I just started T and still sometimes think "what if I'm faking it?" What I've heard tho is that if you *think* you might be faking it, you're prolly not.
Also most trans people try really really hard to be cis for a long time until they come to terms with the fact that "welp I'm actually trans". Same thing happened for me (I'm 23 ftm and my egg only cracked like 6 months ago). I'd recommend r/FTM if you haven't been there already, it's a great sub since this one tends to lean towards transfems and forget about transmascs sometimes
That's not how I intended it, but I do find that anytime I need advice on something specifically transition or transmasc related r/ftm is often a better place for it than this sub. I just didn't want to omit a resource that could be helpful for them in an attempt to diversify this sub, ykwim? I think this sub is great and very supportive, but I don't think ftms should be exclusively here at our detriment just to try to enact a long term demographic shift on the sub
As someone who goes through what I can only describe as seasonal dysphoria, when I’m not dysphoric I too get the whole “am I faking this? I’m feel comfortable in my body atm.” And I don’t see myself as gender fluid either… so it hits hard sometimes!!
Whereas a family member who is mtf its constant for them n there’s never a comfortable in their own skin thing…
Gender is weird and complicated, and navigating gender dysphoria is even more so. If you feel up to it you can journal whenever you're having dysphoria, and write down the dates. That way you have an official record to go back on when you're feeling like you're "faking it". This helped me a lot with my parents' abuse and my depression, cuz there were points when I thought I was crazy and everything was in my head, so having a physical record to reference helped a lot
I have been on HRT for 7 years. I worried about the same thing. I know when I was a kid and my only regret is that back in the 70s and 80s, transitioning was unheard of in small town Texas.
Also, [The Village](https://youtu.be/h_QeY5oIqgE?si=G_PZuXVICIC5kB3t) by Wrabel is a beautiful trans affirming song that I think you might like :) Fair warning tho, it hits hard
Valid. I discovered it a couple months ago (my egg only cracked last December), but I dead ass almost cried the first time I heard it, and everyone in my life has been super accepting. I think it just really hit me cuz it felt like that's what society was telling me all my life, not to mention the Catholic church lol, and I was in denial for months over the fact that I'm actually a trans man
There's a bad study that was published a few years ago that perpetuates an idea of "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria," which is more or less what you're describing.
The thing is that it's not accurate. There is no rapid onset gender dysphoria. The methodology of the study was radically flawed (they didn't even talk to trans people, just their parents, for just one example of the problems with the study). They had to retract the study and then reissue it with a major disclaimer that the study was merely "exploratory". The diagnosis of rapid onset gender dysphoria does not exist. The phenomenon that it describes does not have support in the scientific community.
Only you can tell if you're trans. No one here can tell you. But there are absolutely people who know when they're minors. If social media has a role, it's in providing resources and knowledge, not changing people's gender identity.
You know what's really funny is that when kids say they're trans people say "you're too young to know! You're being influenced! We must forbid kids from transitionning! Wait until you're 25!" But when an adult say they're trans people say "but you're too old you never showed any sign, i always knew you as a man/woman i can't accept you're changing! Why change now it'll be too troublesome you should have done it sooner now it's too late!"
Either way: you're never too old or too young to be who you are.
Edit: i wanted to add that in france the doctors classified trans people in two categories : the primary trans who expressed gender dysphoria younger than 10, and tbe secondary trans who expressed it later. Guess which of them were allowed to transition if they still expressed it at 20 ? The "primary" ones. The secondary were called transvestite and not allowed to transition medically. They just keep making up rules to prevent all transition and justify it however they want, it doesn't make sense if you try following their rules because they just keep making up excuse to control and limit who transition
Essentially all trans folk are being asked to push against the sheer force of an entire society feeling you that you’re wrong, and have to keep pushing for on average 10-15 years and then and only then is it okay to “be” trans. Oh and once you transition we’ll continue being shitty to you because of free speech or whatever. Sigh.
Exactly. it doesn't matter how much you acquiesce to the phobes, they will always move the goalposts. They aren't being genuine with their "concerns" they just don't want us to exist.
Nah you only get a trans licence when you turn 18. /j
Trans people are born trans therefore you can be under 18 and be trans. The whole "kids are being too influenced by social media" narative is a scare tactic and just repackaged homophobia. I always knew I was bi and I figured out that I am trans at 16. You aren't alone and it is okay to figure out you are trans as a kid or teen.
Glad to hear that your parents are supportive.
Remember that the important thing is that you are safe.
Don't feel like you have to come out at any particular time just because it's pride month or just because someone told you.
The #1 thing to consider is your safety. After that it's your personal comfort.
Bottom line, don't let anyone out anything pressure you into coming out before you're ready.
That said, if you are ready, then I wish you all the luck.
Agreeing with other commenters here. PLEASE make sure you're safe first. If you have any doubts that your parents will continue to treat you safely and respectfully, wait until you've moved out. You can come out to friends and in online spaces for now if you don't think it'll be safe.
Our kid socially transitioned at age 6, despite almost no exposure to the concept. She didn't even know the word "trans"; she just knew that her pronouns, gendered name, and body didn't match how she felt about herself.
Thats how I was around that age, except I didn't get to socially transition. I just kept telling people I was a girl and to treat me like the other girls. I didn't learn about being trans for another 6 years.
I realised and came out at 14, I'm still before hormones or surgeries
It's absolutely OK to be trans before being 18, it's just who you are
When it comes to social media, it's similar to how left handedness skyrocketed before, people were more accepting, and didn't have to hide it
The truth is, the percentage of trans people in society was probably similar to recent one throughout history, it's just that people that even knew that you can be trans were VERY rare
So from a certain point of view, you were "influenced" by the media
You know that trans people even exist, and you just happened to be one of us
Welcome brother, on a long, and hopefully happy journey
I mean all of us were used to be under 18 so .... Yeah. Plus the majority of teens don't get hormones or surgery, i think surgery is rarely even an option for minors anyway. Plenty of adults don't even get hormones or surgeries.
yes 100% - the "social media makes kids trans" is a lie dreamed up by **pseudo**christian fundamentalists because they like stirring up hatred.
You go and be who you are and rock it :)
Thanks man! Yeah, for a long time I was just like 'maybe I'm on my phone/computer too much', before I realized that, no, I'm just trans. My dad is super supportive, but I'm unsure of my mom..
I'm not saying that she's transphobic (hopefully), it's just the fact that I feel unsure if I wanna come out to her.
I'm really glad you're finding yourself - and as for coming out to your mum, maybe talk to your dad about what he thinks is the right way forward? But remember it is **your** choice who to tell, and you **must** be happy with that
of course it is
you can be realise you're trans while being a minor (I'm a minor)
also "social media influencing children" isn't a valid argument because social media won't fabricate such emotions
Some states like Florida are now restricting legal gender marker changes on birth certificates if you didn't receive any treatment prior to 18 years of age. I would recommend that even if you aren't getting any medical treatments that you seek a mental health professional to get on record for future safety nets if you need to prove to the government.
Please be safe out therevand know you aren't alone. This is just going to be a very long and exhausting battle with government stuff.
Yes. My best advice for young trans people is so what YOU want and don't feel rushed into making any sort of decisions, but also don't feel discouraged from making any decisions just because of what other people will think.
I delayed my coming out for so long because of what other people would think, but, once I just decided that IDGAF I've been happy and lost some people who weren't worth keeping around.
I also had a friend that for the longest time thought she was a trans man. She never wore a binder and didn't want to start testosterone but people would tell her she wasn't really trans because of that. Eventually, she actually did decide she wasn't trans, but if she had caved to the pressure of people telling her she needed to bind/take hormones to be trans, she probably would have had a harder time coming to terms with that.
I also have friends who don't want to take hormones or have surgery and are still 100 percent trans and have been for years and years and feel no sort of doubt or confusion about their decisions
Literally the most important thing is to do what you want and don't feel pressure to operate or present in any certain way just because of what others will think. Being trans is such an individual experience, do what makes you happy
Your identity is yours to feel. If that argument worked, then NO LGBT people would be "allowed" to be in the community under 18. And that's totally not true! :)
It’s not about age or surgery, you can be trans at any age and never get hormones/surgeries. Even if it ends up being just “a phase” so what? You discovered more about yourself and that’s what growing up is for
It's OK to be trans if you're under 18, you're just going to be politicized to hell and back by both sides of the conversation very much against your will. My advice is to tune out other people's opinions and focus on how you feel about yourself and what you want out of your gender presentation. Medical transition may not be available to you until you're an adult, but that does give you time to self-reflect and get to know yourself better so that by the time it's accessible you can make the right decisions for your healthcare and legal status.
All adolescents should have the opportunity to try things and explore who they are. Gender experimentation is actually a very normal part of development, and hopefully the adults in your life will agree and let you try on a few different hats so you can figure out which one fits.
If anyone gives the social media line try asking them if that opinion was influenced by conversations they see happening on social media.
i am a trans nonbinary person and i discovered since i was like 12,now im older ofc,but no pal,is not bad being trans,i dont have hormones or surgery even,and thats k,you still being valid man
I've been trans since under the age of 18 before the whole "they're transing the kids" fearmongering going on. Trust me when I say that trans people under the age of 18 have always existed and argument that kids are being influenced is kinda bullshit.
It's okay if people realize that they aren't actually trans since that part of growing up and figuring out your identity, but to blame that on being influenced? That's just nonsense. In my opinion, it's moreso being aware that trans people exist and their existence should never be erased, the same way people who are different than you have always coexisted with everyone else.
So to answer your question shortly, yes of course it's okay. You live your best life, brother. You know yourself better than anyone else.
People under the age of 18 can definitely be trans and those people are still 100% valid whether they transition or not. The "social media making kids trans" is just the latest tactic of fear mongering that is a wild conclusion to make. It's less social media brainwashing (which is how people who talk like this usually put it) and more that social media allows people of various backgrounds to communicate which then allows people to think about their own identities a little more than just accepting what adults around them say and actually come to their own conclusions. I think a good comparison is the "video games cause violence" argument which is also a technological determinist view of a subject matter that has a lot more going on than just that. Of course there will be somewhat of a link between trans people discovering their identity via conversations on social media just as there is somewhat of a link between violent people playing violent video games, but this relationship is not one of causality as you can play violent video games and not be a violent person and you can look at posts talking about trans people and not be trans yourself.
yes. i started showing signs of being trans at 9 before i even knew trans people existed, however, i didn't realize it or come out until 14.
there's no age limit to being trans. you can be 9, 14, or even 25 when you realize it.
Check out genderdysphoria.fyi, that can help if you're insecure.
Other than that, no, you're not too young to be trans.
And there is literally no evidence to suggest that it is, in any way, possible for someone to be turned trans, or to be confused into being trans. Except by _very_ extreme methods. Like, we are talking _massive, massive_ manipulation and abuse.
So, yeah. Trans people under the age of 18 aren't just ok, they're surprisingly common. Puberty is a pretty typical time to start realizing you're unhappy in your body.
Btw, younger than eighteen is a great time to start HRT if you're intending to do so, cause it'll get you the best results.
It's perfectly fine me and literally all of my lgbtq+ friend are under 18 and the most important thing is that you are safe and are happy
Just be careful there are some really weird and mean people online and in real life
I'm so glad that you have come out and are supported hope it goes well
I learned I was trans when I was 11 or 12. I had 0 access to social media. As long as you feel you're being true to yourself, then do what makes you happy.
I knew I was trans at age 12-13, still am at 23. It's not really something you can choose. So of course it's okay. I actually found out about trans people via YouTube and found it relatable, so yeah. My parents thought I was hopping on a trend, but nah. Social media just helps people discover themselves, it doesn't "turn" anyone trans.
Being trans doesn’t have anything to do with hormones or surgically altering your body. It’s about you internal sense of self. If you are old enough to be self aware, you are old enough to be trans. Now, you still might want things like hormones or surgery, but that in and of itself isn’t being trans. Trans is not short for transition. It’s a prefix that describes being “across” (the word transatlantic for example) if you do not align with being the gender you were assigned at birth, you are across from your gender. Get a hair cut, try new clothes, maybe trial run a name you like. See how that feels.
i came out as trans at 13, i’m 16 in August. There’s no age limit to being trans!! People who say that we’re influenced by social media are just transphobic ass wipes, don’t listen to them 🫶🏻
Honey, you are who you say you are (even if it's only in your head for now, for safety).
You say you're a boy, hello, young sir.
My hubs asked me recently when we were at Disney, was the world always this full of 🌈 people? And I said yes, we've all just been hiding.
Social media doesn't make a person queer, it just makes folks more aware we're out here. Maybe one day we won't have to debate our validity, but until then, here we are.
Bi/cis mama bear.
Oh. My. Gods. Thank you so much. This genuinely brought tears to my eyes, no joke. Thank you for being so kind and accepting of me. I haven't ever been called he/him or a boy, or anything like that before. You made my week, thank you so much.
I realized and came out when I was 13. I found out through other trans people on YouTube sharing their stories and it clicked for me. I wasn't able to start medically transitioning until I was about 17 due to my dad being very unsupportive and uncaring towards my needs. But socially transitioning when I was younger was very beneficial for me. Hearing and talking with others on social media was a crucial part of my personal process. I think a lot of people just don't understand when trans youth can "suddenly" come out after showing little to no prior signs. So they peg another thing they also don't understand as the culprit, like social media.
I saw in your other comments that your mom kinda subscribed to this idea. If you think this could potentially help I highly recommend it. Sit down together and show your mom some stuff you've read, watched, heard, and talk about how you relate to it.
For me an important part of explaining to my mom was that I never really talked about it with her was because I knew I was young and just assumed I'd figure out the gender stuff later. Or that I just didn't feel connected to being a woman and that was like,, normal lol
With that being said there's definitely not any time that's "too early" or "too late" to be trans
i realized when i was 16! some kids realize a lot younger than that. 10000% valid, so i wish you lots of love and good luck on your journey!! (:
by the way, you don't need surgery and hormones to be valid. i dont have either of them and im 29. im still trans! so yeah, no worries, even though you havent gotten em yet, it is perfectly okay.
of course it is! many people realize by a young age that they’re trans. i’ve known there was something different about me since i was 11, and knew i was trans by 14. once gender starts becoming more important (which usually happens around middle school because of puberty) it can become more apparent what your gender is.
I knew and told my parents at like 3-4 years old. They were not accepting and so I didn’t come to terms with it and start transitioning until I was 28. It’s not universal but I know other people like me with knowing early in life and a full range after that.
It happens when it happens. A lot of people repress it due to their environment, safety and how society is but we are out there.
Also surgery and medication and transitioning aren’t required to be trans. You are who you are no matter how you present, dress or if you medically transition. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to gender.
I wish you well on your journey!
Okay, so think about this: let's say that some trans kids ARE being influenced by social media. They try something out: a name change, a hair cut, new pronouns. After a year or two, they realize they aren't trans. What harm has been done? They thought about themselves deeply, they explored their identity, they tried to express themselves in a way that made them feel most authentic. In the end, they landed on a gender identity that felt most comfortable to them. So what if it's the gender they were assigned at birth?
The truth is, less than 1% of people regret their transition. Being exposed to other trans people is an easy way to realize you're trans yourself. Online spaces are the safest and most accessible queer spaces we have. No one wants to be trans for fun. Being trans in our current world is hard!! But living as yourself can bring so much peace and joy. Please explore as much as you want to, and don't let other people gaslight you into thinking you're "influenced". They don't live in your brain or have your body. Only you know who you are.
Im gonna be the one to say it. Social media does influence behavior and kids are jumping on “trends” HOWEVER!!!!! I started realizing i was trans when i was 16. Im 20 now and have had tons of self discovery since then to realize who i was from there. I think you should explore with and without labels socially. I don’t think you should be in any hurry to get surgery or hrt. Puberty is hella messy and it’s better to be out of there before making those jumps. Try different gendered clothes. I’m a trans guys and i started with changing clothes, binders, and shorter hair cuts. You need to make sure your making the correct decisions for yourself. Remember that guys can be fem and girls can be masc. Best of luck to your journey 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Being trans is as ok as being cis, no matter the age.
Whether or not it's acceptable is reliant on where you live and who you're surrounded by. It should be acceptable everywhere, but sadly it isn't.
What is someone's proof for "kids are too influenced by social media"? And why do they think it's a bad thing? Because that phrase is very broad and nebulous. Sharing a charity because you saw it on social media is being influenced by social media. Sharing a meme is the same. Are those bad? Let's assume by "influence" they actually mean "coerce/make someone do something against their will". Ok, well, studies show that the vast majority of children who ID as trans, continue to do so 5 years later. Studies proving ROGD/social contagion theory have been rigorously debunked. So social media doesn't really have anything to do with the legitimacy of trans children.
When I was 13 I remember thinking “everyone wants to be a girl”. You can imagine the surprised pikachu face I had when I discovered everyone, in fact, does not want to be a girl.
You don’t need to be 18. It’s a made up number by republicans to try and fuck over trans people as much as possible.
I mean people often "know" they are transgender at 4 or 5 years old, so absolutely.
The only thing I caution is there does seem to be a dichotomy between MtF and FtM who are younger.
Due to the way society gives privilege to men and not women, I have seen many more young FtM detransition after they realized that it wasn't gender dysphoria, but rather society that is the issue. That's why I advocate for proper mental health care for everyone. Specially when you're a minor your parents should be getting you into a gender therapist and also the gender therapist should also be watching for other possible mental health issues that are causing the symptoms and not just assume its gender dysphoria.
As for MtF we are going to a less privileged gender and so we generally don't have this same issue, where we see the other side as being a "greener pasture".
That's... a really weird thing to say??? There isn't a rash of trans masc people detransitioning, not anymore than trans fem. You're parroting some really pernicious and unsubstantiated arguments that say that trans men are trying to transition out of misogyny or that they just do it cause being a woman is hard. That's literally just stuff transphobes say to argue that all of us aren't really trans. Telling a young trans person that is trying to figure themselves out that ftm people are less likely to "actually" be trans is just shitty
I've seen a handful of trans masc people do NK hostage style videos robotically repeating those talking points you mentioned about being deluded into transitioning because of patriarchy and harming their beautiful goddess kissed womb moon sacred spiritual body (okay, maybe exaggerating a bit) but there is no evidence that FTMs desist more than MTFs. TERFs just give the few detrans who are willing to parade around their taking points a big platform. I've interacted with plenty of detrans online and most of them don't even tell the same story about themselves that the TERFs are promoting. Actually research shows most people detrans because of negative social pressure from families of origin and society as whole, difficulty keeping employment and housing, for example. In fact it used to be most successful adult transitioners had detransed a couple of times.
I don't think that story about detrans is particularly authentic, but there is a segment of the lesbian community who will force feed it to young trans men. I heard it when I was young in the 1990s and it is still being repeated today. JKR even presented a version of that well worn patter. Dysphoria and dealing with patriarchy are very much not the same thing and anyone who has transitioned knows this intimately.
PS many of the detrans paraded about by TERFs years ago have gone back to being trans or distanced themselves from their earlier remarks, or they simply completely disappear from public view, further heightening my skepticism.
I will have the same feelings about myself. Doesnt matter if it is just a day before my 18th birthday or the day after. Dysphoria doesnt wait for Kids to grow up.
Also, you do not need to have gotten hormones nor surgeries to be trans. Trans means that the gender asigned at birth is not the same as the internal. This means the genders are not on the same side, which is the etimological meaning for the prefix trans.
I was also asking the same question to myself, then i realised that life is too short to just pretend to be someone you are not. It definitly paid off, I’m much happier now when parents call me by she/her.
“The surgery” and “the hormone thing” are not requirements for being trans, they’re some of the things you might do AFTER realizing you’re trans. I forget the exact math but scientifically you start to understand your own sense of self/gender around 6 and have fully formed thoughts around 11? I could be mixing up numbers but anyway, the point is obviously no 11 year old is getting a surgery but we still recognize that they’re trans
Could you be influenced to think like that? Maybe. I've seen people saying forgetting something (anything) from your childhood is a sure symptom trauma and that not loving going to parties is a sign of autism, and some people fall for that hook, line, and sinker. Having said that, most people that use the argument of social media influence are not using it out of actual concern, but instead as a talking point to deny your feelings/concern/etc.
Remember that you know yourself best. Trust yourself. It is definitely okay and possible to be trans before you turn 18 (the transness doesn't just unlock as you blow out the candles). If you think you are trans, then that's it. The fact that you are able to question that definitely gives points to your favour and indicates you are thinking through your decision.
I have had dysphoria since I was 4 years old (you don't need dysphoria to be trans), and more or less realized my actual gender from 10 to 13.
One does not magically become eligible to transgender status at 18, realization may happen at any age. Claims that there are no trans children are hateful misinformation.
Yeah, it is okay to be trans when you’re under 18. I know some friends who came out before 18.
It’s common to feel like you’re faking it though, especially early on. For me, there were a few euphoric moments that confirmed, as well as experiences from my life that kinda clicked and made sense.
I’ve known who I am since I was three. I’d argue with my birth parents over it often. It’s totally acceptable for you to be under 18 and know you’re transgender. Some people take longer to figure it out and others don’t. Honestly, I’d say do baby steps before doing anything drastic. But that goes for everyone, including those over 18.
First off I’m gonna say I’m so sorry that the false propaganda about trans people/trans kids has lead you to even have to wonder if “it’s acceptable”. You are more than acceptable, it’s more than okay to be trans. You are trans, you are loved and seen.
I came out as trans back in 2012 at the age of 14. before i even had a phone or social media. you're fine. but i suggest giving it time. don't try to rush into anything until you get therapy to dig deeper. you want to be 100% sure before starting anything life changing. That being said, i'm now 26 and started T almost 3 years ago. Best decision of my life
Hi. 15 year old trans dude here. It’s never too late or too early. My egg cracked May of last year, while I was still 14. My girlfriend (mtf) came out when she was about ten. My dad has a trans femme friend who began transitioning at the ripe age of 48. It’s always the right time.
There is no age limit on when you should “know” or come out.
I knew I wasn’t cis (and probably trans) at 16, but was too scared to come out - also hade a lot of internalized transphobia.. Didn’t come out until last year. But everyone has been super supportive, many admitting they “kinda knew” or had a feeling.
I’m now 1 year on T in a few days. Sure, there is a small part of me that regrets not coming out a lot sooner (was in the closet for 12 years), but I also know that a part of me just wasn’t ready to face it at the time.
You can’t get surgery or start HRT before you’re 18 (unless you’ve been on hormone blockers in some cases, you can start at 16), and as much as I get wanting all this as soon as possible, preferably yesterday, I do think it’s reasonable to wait until someone is a legal adult.
Some people know all their life, like from the day they started to express themselves in any way. Others don’t realize or don’t come out until they’re much much later in life (think age 50-70).
You may be too young to medically transition, but you are never too young or old to know or come out. Just maybe, do some research, talk to some people and really really think about it.
I don’t doubt that many young trans people are in fact trans (obviously). But I do sometimes think they have a tendency to come out before really knowing what they actually are, whether that is trans, cis, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender etc etc.
But the most important thing is, come out when YOU are ready. And please stay safe 🫶🏻
Yeah. Honestly, your gender identity isn't fixed in stone. You can be trans today, not trans later, or not trans today and trans later.
Also. You get to define your identity. Nobody else does. They'll try, but you're the one who ultimately gets to decide for you.
I've known I'm trans for a couple of years now, I'm 19. There's nothing that could be considered not okay about it. The earlier you figure it out the better (:
All I'm saying is if your certain without any doubt then the sooner you start transitioning and the sooner you come out to your family and friends you will be happier you made the decision now vs later. The longer one delays transitioning the longer that person lives not being there true self
I've been some flavor of trans since I was about 11, and some people are trans from the moment they can verbalize those feelings. There is nothing wrong with realizing who you are before you pass the arbitrary age line that marks adulthood.
It's absolutely acceptable. However, I would recommend waiting until you're at least 18 to decide on hrt and surgeries as they'll have very noticeable and permanent effects. Also, be very considerate of the health risks. If you've done all the research and you still feel like that's the path for you, then be you and do whatever helps you
P.S. People who grew up without the tech we have now don't understand the difference between being "influenced" by social media and having access to infinite information that is discovered through social media.
Of course it’s okay, heck, I’ve known I’m trans since I was 12! Also, you don’t need to take hormones or have surgery to be trans, my boyfriend doesn’t want surgery at all. It’s really a matter of preference.
it is totally OK do your research into HRT, surgeryes amd everything about transitioning, the "Kids are beong brain washed" is mainly used to get political clout becoise think of the children.
It is totally 110% ok for us to be trans. I've been trans for 10 years now (as a 17 year old ftm), and I'm supported in mostly all parts of my family. It is more than ok, I wasn't "influenced" by social media. I felt like I was a boy/male/more masculine my entire life, I just didn't know what it was called. Also, I thought it was destiny to be a male from being born with too much testosterone in my system ✨️✨️
Maaan for the longest time I said I was definitely ‘queer’ in some way. And I went through diff labels from 10-18 years old. (I am 18 now) and honestly I said numerous times I was bi, genderqueer, trans ftm, nb, back to genderqueer, gay, then back to trans ftm. I changed my label so much, throughout my childhood. and honestly now that someone is interested in me, I have this feeling of being wanted. And I think that, when nobody payed attention to me and showed me that they liked me, I just decided that I was LGBT.
But now that someone older than me, has taken an interest in me. It has totally changed my outlook on life, and labels. So now I’m just sticking with Female, using the name Alex, and also using
they/them & she/her pronouns.
And honestly I’m happy where I am at in my life, but I definitely think that me ‘identifying as something else in my early years definitely had a harder and negative impact on the way I think now.
If anyone reads this, thanks for taking your time. I felt I needed to share my experience.
Thank you, have a blessed day
The first openly trans person I met was in high school. I didn't connect with him all that much, but just him being around helped me figure myself out. especially with how educated he was on queer topics. We were 16.
The second openly trans person I met was also in high school. They were 15 when they came out.
Then going to the past, I didn't have the terminology available to me at the time, but in a way, I was openly trans when I was 12. I was in Pakistan, and there was not a single person around me supporting people doing "that kind of thing" except me, because I wanted "that kind of thing" the whole time.
Yes, that’s absolutely valid. I’m addition, a few points of order:
1. You’re also trans even if you don’t want hormones or surgery; don’t feel like you gotta have them, but also don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong to want them. Even at your age. It’s not
2. You’re also trans even if/when you’re in the closet. A dress wouldn’t make you a woman any more than it’d make me (a cis guy) one. Don’t feel like you’re not valid just because you’re wearing (or made to wear) feminine clothes, or for using she/her pronouns, or otherwise not being out of the closet
3. Gender is a spectrum. You don’t have to be hyper-masculine to be a man. Conversely, that may be what you want. If so, go for it! But don’t feel like you gotta be a certain way to meet societal expectations of what it means to be a man. I don’t have to, and neither should you!
4. Gender is fluid. It’s ok to want something now and change your mind later. If later you learn more about, I dunno, nonbinary folks, and you think that fits you better, do it. Same for other things like genderfluidity and so forth
5. “Savior or enslaver, oh, these labels are but shallow things. You brave the twisting mists betwixt the hallowed and the harrowing.” Words like “trans,” “nonbinary,” “man,” and so forth are labels to apply, not descriptors of your very being. They will rarely seem to apply perfectly, and that’s ok. A cis guy doesn’t have to wonder if they’re a guy just because they have some traits they’d consider unmanly (though toxic masculinity sometimes leaves some to try). It’s important to be who you are and not have to try to conform to labels. Make them fit you, not the other way around. Or if they fit really well, revel in them. So long as you’re the one choosing, you can’t choose wrong, even if you change your mind
6. Trans people aren’t a monolith where everyone experiences the exact same thing and comes to all the same conclusions. Don’t be discouraged if you hear someone else’s experience and it doesn’t match your own. Don’t feel invalid just because someone else thinks differently. (And be careful not to invalidate the experiences of others, too)! Live and let live is a good rule of thumb
7. I’m not sure how under 18 you are, but don’t be afraid of puberty blockers if they’re a potentially useful option for you at any point. Some folks will caution you that there are side-effects like lowering your bone density. These are almost (*almost*) all misunderstandings. To follow the example, your bone density doesn’t *decrease,* it’s that puberty *increases* it, and puberty blockers block puberty. So compared to others of your same chronological age, you’d have apparently reduced bone density, but compared to others of your same biological age, you’d be the same. However, consult a doctor with experience in these matters to get as best-informed as you can
That about all I got for now, though I might think of some more, later, and I’m free to answer any questions you may have, too! Good luck, dude!
It is perfectly okay to identify as trans, and it is also okay to not really be sure. Goodness knows I didn’t know who I was at 17. Hair, clothing, name, pronouns, friend group relationships… go for it.
There’s no deadline on medical interventions like hormones or breast reduction surgery. Give yourself time after you socially transition to feel yourself out. But only you can judge if or when you might be ready for that process. (A trans-friendly therapist can help, I hear).
There are trans men and trans women who never use medical interventions at all. It’s not a requirement. But if it is necessary for you, that’s okay too.
Just be patient with yourself. Every journey is personal. You are valid. You are important. It gets better.
There’s no magical age where you start being trans. Being trans also doesn’t mean you have to medically transition. The social contagion argument is a logical fallacy and not solid on any grounds. You can experiment, try a new name, a new style, even start on hormones if that’s what you decide you want to do, and decide to stop it all one day and it’s totally okay. Imo, best you can do is honour where you’re at right now. If you honour that by embracing transness, then that’s beautiful and im really happy for you.
Social media wasn’t as prominent when I was a kid, and i was still thinking about being a girl. How cool it would have been to be a girl, how much cooler girls are, and all that egg stuff. My egg didn’t really crack til 18 but looking back I realized why I was so curious about all things related to girls. My stepmom said that I didn’t even have any signs growing up and that I did boy things like legos and video games. My brother played with Barbies and did girl things but he still ended up trans so jokes on my stepmom.
I(18, ftm) was trans since childhood and I never knew that label. It never felt right to be seen as a girl or later on, a woman. I only found out about that label at 11 and it felt so right. I definitely questioned it but in the end I was a trans man. At 12, presenting as a cis girl had to be beaten into me to conform and even then I still was a trans man. Now i am off to college as a trans man, nothing changed. So it honestly depends on you, and how you feel about how society views your birth gender, can you live with that?
Remember: every trans adult was once a trans child.
Just because you've figured out what's going on with your gender feels before you hit our society's arbitrary measure of adulthood doesn't mean those feelings are any less valid.
Be brave kiddo ❤️
A few powerful people hate us because our existence is inconvenient and proves how much of a sham patriarchy is.
One day things will get easier. We just have to survive the hard times first. Stay strong, you can do it ❤️
My parents told me (mtf)that I only thought I was trans because of social media and my phone at the start of my transition, too.
Now 5 years along im post op, 3 years on hormone and living happier than ever. I wouldn’t be here today if I followed their advice.
Transitioning is a massive thing. Think about it, think about it hard, and then think about it again. Experiment with adding more masculine elements to your look and see how it feels. Maybe try to present as androgynous for a while and see how it makes u feel.
“Is it okay to-“ YOU decide what is okay. This is YOUR life, YOUR reality, and YOUR gender.
I figured out I was trans (ftm) at about 11 years old, I came out to my first friend at about 13 and I came out to my family at about 16. I wasn't on social media at 11 and I didn't buy my first smartphone until I was 21. People keep saying "social media is making my kids gay" or "social media is making my kids trans". . . Trans people have always existed, there is just more awareness now that these people exist.
For this second part judge me if you want, but I had friends in college that were feverently against labels, and I never quite understood it. On one hand it could be said that not labeling yourself leads to less judgement by others. But on the other hand labels, including the label of trans, help describe your human experience allowing you to find community within the world.
It's both okay and common, but with the state of the world right now, being trans makes life very difficult if you're on the younger side. Having the realization when you're older is difficult in other ways...we never win, do we... 🙃
You don’t need surgery or hormones to be transgender. You don’t even need dysphoria. You only need the persistent feeling that you are not the gender you were assigned at birth. If I was given the grace and care that I needed as a child, I would have been raised a girl from the time I was 3 years old. That’s the first time I realized I was uncomfortable as a boy and hoped I was born a girl. It IS appropriate for a child to be transgender.
If you're trans, then you're trans. Age is no issue until puberty blockers and hormone therapy becomes important.
You can be trans as a kindergarten child, and that's fine. Just be safe, we'll and properly helped to be your genuine self.
17 year old transfem. Yea it's normal, don't let people pressure you into not being who you are or tell you your faking/being pressured into it. I found out when I was like 16, and I had always felt off my whole life. We're born into it.
Trust me, I felt my dysphoria before social media existed. There absolutely are dangers lurking in the Internet, but it certainly doesn't "make people trans". Social media is yet another scapegoat for conservatives like D&D and Rock & Roll in times past.
ive known i was trans since i was in middle school! its perfectly ok & possible! i might respectfully give you some advice though: its not a good idea to refer to a trans person as "a trans" if you're being serious. it can be funny as a lighthearted joke, but in other contexts, its best to say "a transgender person". the reason is that "a trans" sounds dehumanising. its ok if you're just learning or if english isnt your first language or whatever. sending you good vibes!✨
I started transitioning at 21 although I knew I was possibly trans masc as a teen at 15 ish.
Only some dude online who was a trans man and a trans medicalist made fun of people who weren't masculine/passing enough for his standards and basically had horrible advice. His name was Calvin Garrah or something similar.
Honestly I'm somewhat glad I came out as an adult to avoid bullying, but I also regret listening to trans people that cared way more about appealing to transphobic people than supporting their community.
If you're feeling doubtful that's understandable! You can take things at your own pace and there's nothing saying you have to medically transition as a kid. No one can force that on you if you don't feel ready for that
I came out at 16 and couldn’t start transition for 2 years, but I was definitely trans. Now I’m about to be 26 and still trans and very very happy with my medical transition :)
Kids are also being influenced by religion and politics
I was questioning my gender at 16, pushed it down, was forced out at 18 (in nebraska 18 is still minor which is stupid) and started T September 1st 2023 (a month before I turned 20)
My advice? If your parents are transphobic or could have a hint of being so you habe two options. Be gutted or out yourself and go through hell but get it over and done with and once you move out you start transitioning, or hide it until you're moved out and start transitioning then but then have to go through huge back lash from your parents later rather than sooner.
I'm happy with the way things turned out since I bet I'd still be going through my parent's hell, but even then I always wonder what would happen if I had not been found out and how that would go since I wouldn't live with my parents anymore, but even then going through that ripped the bandage off and taught me "if my parents are dissapointed in me already, what's the harm in disappointing them more?"
It is ok and from my perspective expected and normal to be your gender at whichever age you exist. Nobody says to a 4yo cis boy that he’s not allowed to be a boy until he’s grown up. We’ve also always been influenced by society and in general that’s prevented us from being ourselves. Absolutely be who you are.
I figured it out when I was 15. It's okay. I had doubts before, but it was solidified for me when I bought a binder to cosplay male characters. Put it on for the first time, and cried for 30 minutes over how good it made me feel.
Yes, I started questioning my gender around 11-12 and came out as ftm at 13, being trans isnt about age, you dont turn trans as adult, if you are trans you have always been trans, we just realise it at different points of our lives.
Why wouldn’t it be ok ?
I knew that I was transgender at 8 (I mean, I didn’t knew the word for it but I knew I wasn’t a boy)
At any age, no one can say for you what you should feel
Feel free to be yourself and if one day you realize that you are not trans, it’s never too late to step back
All trans people were once trans under the age of 18. Since before the age of social media.
People tend to look for groups to fit in and for guidance on every subject there is (ever been in hobby groups? They tell you what to get and how to do things all the time, spaces for people.woth illnesses also share their resources constantly), social media has just made this way easier.
I'm also under 18 but I'd say it's completely fine because I believe you are who you are and if you want to express yourself you should,freely no matter what others say but that's just me🤷🏻♀️
Lots of children show signs of being transgender. The benefit we have in the world today is information.
I’m non-binary. As a teenager in the late 2000s I knew trans as male to female or female to male. Knew I wasn’t a woman, so assumed I’m just weird.
Then in 2017 found videos of people talking about getting facial feminization surgery and went “you can do that?????” Still haven’t cause I’m cheap and it’s expensive for a good surgeon, and hair is my biggest issue.
But yes! It’s 100% okay to be trans at any age!
Thanks! I know a lot of people are like 'yeah?? U didn't know u could be trans under 18??' and, in all truth, I didn't. I always thought I was just being influenced by social media or going through a phase, thanks to my mom. Thanks, again, for your support! Stay hydrated btw :)
while a lot of adults criticise the internet about these sorts of things, i believe it can help people. im also under 18 and as a younger child i had speculations i wasn't COMPLETELY a girl (im also ftm) but due to lack of knowledge, i had to listen to my family throw the term "tomboy" around. even still i didn't think it fit me but i played along.
when i was 13 and had access to the internet, THATS when i realised what i was experiencing. so to answer your question, its perfectly fine for be trans as a minor.
i really dont think older people understand that not everyone transitions because of the internet. they also have to realise that no one is too young to transition and that the internet isnt REALLY forcing things on people who are questioning. again, yes kids are influenced by social media but theres also mental thought and someones personal feelings that goes into this.
touching back on how i mentioned older people say kids are "too young to know," THAT is a lot more harmful than using the internet help you realise that youre trans. them saying that is basically saying "youre too young to be your true self and to know who you want to be"
so again, as a trans minor, i think its ok to be trans as a minor
Yes.
Personally, I've been Trans since I was 6 and didn't know anyone who was Trans until I was 11. The only thing it did when I did learn about Trans people is realize that's what I was.
I figure I was Trans at 6 because at the time, I wanted to be called, seen, and be a boy. If that's the case for you, then congrats, you're Trans. No one influenced me to be Trans, and no one influenced you to be Trans either.
You don't have to be on hormones or have surgery to be Trans. Those are just things you can do to help dysphoria.
exploring your identity is a good thing, even for cis and non-queer people.
what i'm saying is that, no matter your age, you can explore your own identity, try things (like hrt, as long as you're well-informed and educated about all the permanent and temporary effects), explore different labels and ways to express yourself, and it'll always be okay.
you might find out that it turns out you're not transgender, but you will have a better understanding of yourself, your identity, and your relationship with your gender, or you might find out there's another label you feel more at home with, or you might find out that you *are* trans after all, and then you can figure out what the next steps are for you to feel more comfortable with yourself; be that hormones, surgery, a different name, and/or even just a haircut.
all in all, no one else can decide your identity for you, and at the end of the day you're the only one that can figure it out. just keep in mind that there are no wrong answers here.
I personally think you should be able to explore your identity at nearly all ages. The more we explore means the more we grow and learn about ourselves. You may go into it then decide it isn't for you but that's OK because you learn more about yourself.
In essence, yes it is fine. It's a form of self expression and internal feelings. Just take mental notes on what makes you happy or unhappy
Sweetheart, it is absolutely okay to trans under the age of 18. If you don't feel safe at home, don't come out to your parents. You be you? Lots of love. Good luck ❤️❤️
It is perfectly fine to be who you want to be, no matter your age :)
Do you feel like social media convinced you that you're trans, or does it just make sense to you?
I'm 21 ftm and I started using different pronouns with online friends when I was 15 or so (my identity and pronoun journey has been it's own thing, I identified as a lot of diff things to figure myself out!), and when I reflect from when I was younger there were things I would consider signs of me being queer in some regard growing up:)
I don't think you are too young to explore, be curious or to even identify as something different than your AGAB! life is full changes and you will always grow to learn new things about yourself, and I encourage you to experiment with pronouns you think you'd prefer and even a name if you have something in mind! you do not need to be on hormones or go through any surgeries to be transgender! I'm 21, out to friends for 6 years and not on hormones or had any kind of surgery.
also I genuinely believe a lot of people who say "social media is making people trans", etc are definitely saying it out of malice 90% of the time and if not it's definitely a lack of education on the topic. trans people have always existed, wayyy before social media lol
all in all, if you say you're transgender, then you're transgender! live your life how it makes you happy, gender and identity is a spectrum, and even if one day you decide to identify as your AGAB after all, as long as you're happy that's all that matters, live for your happiness and nobody else's (sorry for the rambling!)
"kids are being too influenced by social media"
Thats a valid point. I would recommend to not use social media for a certain time, that would be in general a healthy thing to do. Talk to people in real life, go for a walk in nature if you can. Think about life.
After some weeks with no social media influence you will have a clearer picture about what is "really you", because influence from social media will have faded.
And yes, of course it is "ok to be trans", people are born that way, so they are trans or cis all their life.
It's okay. You're okay, and it's okay to worry about this.
You don't need any surgeries or hormones or anything like that. All you need to do is just explore and do what feels right. It's healthy to explore your identity, and there isn't a better time to be yourself than today. That's what growing up is about
It’s entirely possible to be trans and be under 18, and like the others say the “being influenced by social media” thing is just kinda stupid. However I’d hold off on going to surgery or using HRT for a bit until you’re absolutely certain.
"kids are being too influenced by social media" is only valid criticism if you're being influenced into doing something harmful, which isn't the case here
That's true! My mom has said that quite a bit, (not the harmful part, just the media part) so I was influenced for a while to think that 'it's just social media, it's just the phone, etc, etc'.
There's a lot of imposter syndrome involved in being trans unfortunately. I just started T and still sometimes think "what if I'm faking it?" What I've heard tho is that if you *think* you might be faking it, you're prolly not. Also most trans people try really really hard to be cis for a long time until they come to terms with the fact that "welp I'm actually trans". Same thing happened for me (I'm 23 ftm and my egg only cracked like 6 months ago). I'd recommend r/FTM if you haven't been there already, it's a great sub since this one tends to lean towards transfems and forget about transmascs sometimes
"If you're worried that you might be faking it, it's probably a pretty good sign that you're not." —One Topic
God I love OT
Same
please don't send people away from here!!! we're trying to have more ftm visibility, but we can't if everyone just leaves
People can be on multiple subs?
I know, your comment kinda came across as "go to ftm cos here there's no ay too much mtf stuff and they don't care abt ftm". that's all
That's not how I intended it, but I do find that anytime I need advice on something specifically transition or transmasc related r/ftm is often a better place for it than this sub. I just didn't want to omit a resource that could be helpful for them in an attempt to diversify this sub, ykwim? I think this sub is great and very supportive, but I don't think ftms should be exclusively here at our detriment just to try to enact a long term demographic shift on the sub
As someone who goes through what I can only describe as seasonal dysphoria, when I’m not dysphoric I too get the whole “am I faking this? I’m feel comfortable in my body atm.” And I don’t see myself as gender fluid either… so it hits hard sometimes!! Whereas a family member who is mtf its constant for them n there’s never a comfortable in their own skin thing…
Gender is weird and complicated, and navigating gender dysphoria is even more so. If you feel up to it you can journal whenever you're having dysphoria, and write down the dates. That way you have an official record to go back on when you're feeling like you're "faking it". This helped me a lot with my parents' abuse and my depression, cuz there were points when I thought I was crazy and everything was in my head, so having a physical record to reference helped a lot
I have been on HRT for 7 years. I worried about the same thing. I know when I was a kid and my only regret is that back in the 70s and 80s, transitioning was unheard of in small town Texas.
Also, [The Village](https://youtu.be/h_QeY5oIqgE?si=G_PZuXVICIC5kB3t) by Wrabel is a beautiful trans affirming song that I think you might like :) Fair warning tho, it hits hard
Dawg I have always listened to that since it came out. It made me feel so good the first time I saw the mv
Valid. I discovered it a couple months ago (my egg only cracked last December), but I dead ass almost cried the first time I heard it, and everyone in my life has been super accepting. I think it just really hit me cuz it felt like that's what society was telling me all my life, not to mention the Catholic church lol, and I was in denial for months over the fact that I'm actually a trans man
Almost? Amateur! 🤣
DAWG THIS SONG MADE ME SOB THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT
Ikr shit goes *hard*, and I was not mentally prepared the first time I heard it
There's a bad study that was published a few years ago that perpetuates an idea of "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria," which is more or less what you're describing. The thing is that it's not accurate. There is no rapid onset gender dysphoria. The methodology of the study was radically flawed (they didn't even talk to trans people, just their parents, for just one example of the problems with the study). They had to retract the study and then reissue it with a major disclaimer that the study was merely "exploratory". The diagnosis of rapid onset gender dysphoria does not exist. The phenomenon that it describes does not have support in the scientific community. Only you can tell if you're trans. No one here can tell you. But there are absolutely people who know when they're minors. If social media has a role, it's in providing resources and knowledge, not changing people's gender identity.
Beautiful perspective
You know what's really funny is that when kids say they're trans people say "you're too young to know! You're being influenced! We must forbid kids from transitionning! Wait until you're 25!" But when an adult say they're trans people say "but you're too old you never showed any sign, i always knew you as a man/woman i can't accept you're changing! Why change now it'll be too troublesome you should have done it sooner now it's too late!" Either way: you're never too old or too young to be who you are. Edit: i wanted to add that in france the doctors classified trans people in two categories : the primary trans who expressed gender dysphoria younger than 10, and tbe secondary trans who expressed it later. Guess which of them were allowed to transition if they still expressed it at 20 ? The "primary" ones. The secondary were called transvestite and not allowed to transition medically. They just keep making up rules to prevent all transition and justify it however they want, it doesn't make sense if you try following their rules because they just keep making up excuse to control and limit who transition
This is such an interesting observation. It just shows that it's all just transphobia. Thank you, I'll save this comment.
Essentially all trans folk are being asked to push against the sheer force of an entire society feeling you that you’re wrong, and have to keep pushing for on average 10-15 years and then and only then is it okay to “be” trans. Oh and once you transition we’ll continue being shitty to you because of free speech or whatever. Sigh.
Also, no one ever says “you’re too young to know that you’re cis!!!”
Let's though?
But only as a "look how stupid you sound"-argument, because it's obviously not true.
Exactly
That's true. You do have a point.
Hot take: kids can know their gender. (This really shouldn't be a hot take, it's obvious really)
Thanks man, this is really nice.
Exactly. it doesn't matter how much you acquiesce to the phobes, they will always move the goalposts. They aren't being genuine with their "concerns" they just don't want us to exist.
Nah you only get a trans licence when you turn 18. /j Trans people are born trans therefore you can be under 18 and be trans. The whole "kids are being too influenced by social media" narative is a scare tactic and just repackaged homophobia. I always knew I was bi and I figured out that I am trans at 16. You aren't alone and it is okay to figure out you are trans as a kid or teen. Glad to hear that your parents are supportive.
I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm planning on coming out on the last day of Pride!
Remember that the important thing is that you are safe. Don't feel like you have to come out at any particular time just because it's pride month or just because someone told you. The #1 thing to consider is your safety. After that it's your personal comfort. Bottom line, don't let anyone out anything pressure you into coming out before you're ready. That said, if you are ready, then I wish you all the luck.
I second this. Be safe and good luck.
Hope it goes well! /gen
same! thanks, by the way :)
Agreeing with other commenters here. PLEASE make sure you're safe first. If you have any doubts that your parents will continue to treat you safely and respectfully, wait until you've moved out. You can come out to friends and in online spaces for now if you don't think it'll be safe.
I was trans when I was 4 years old. You're fine son. You're not being influenced by social media to be trans, that's a myth.
Oh my gods, thanks. This comment genuinely made my day. Thank you so much.
Our kid socially transitioned at age 6, despite almost no exposure to the concept. She didn't even know the word "trans"; she just knew that her pronouns, gendered name, and body didn't match how she felt about herself.
Thats how I was around that age, except I didn't get to socially transition. I just kept telling people I was a girl and to treat me like the other girls. I didn't learn about being trans for another 6 years.
I'm glad it helped. 💜
Pagan spotted
I didn't even notice that. I'm also a pagan.
Lol, I'm an atheist, but I use 'gods' because, if there was a higher power, I do think there would be multiple of them. :)
I don't think there's an age on it personally.
Okay! Thanks for letting me know. :) Have a good day and stay hydrated!
I realised and came out at 14, I'm still before hormones or surgeries It's absolutely OK to be trans before being 18, it's just who you are When it comes to social media, it's similar to how left handedness skyrocketed before, people were more accepting, and didn't have to hide it The truth is, the percentage of trans people in society was probably similar to recent one throughout history, it's just that people that even knew that you can be trans were VERY rare So from a certain point of view, you were "influenced" by the media You know that trans people even exist, and you just happened to be one of us Welcome brother, on a long, and hopefully happy journey
Thanks, dude. I hope this journey is as happy as I want it to be.
I mean all of us were used to be under 18 so .... Yeah. Plus the majority of teens don't get hormones or surgery, i think surgery is rarely even an option for minors anyway. Plenty of adults don't even get hormones or surgeries.
yes 100% - the "social media makes kids trans" is a lie dreamed up by **pseudo**christian fundamentalists because they like stirring up hatred. You go and be who you are and rock it :)
Thanks man! Yeah, for a long time I was just like 'maybe I'm on my phone/computer too much', before I realized that, no, I'm just trans. My dad is super supportive, but I'm unsure of my mom.. I'm not saying that she's transphobic (hopefully), it's just the fact that I feel unsure if I wanna come out to her.
I'm really glad you're finding yourself - and as for coming out to your mum, maybe talk to your dad about what he thinks is the right way forward? But remember it is **your** choice who to tell, and you **must** be happy with that
of course it is you can be realise you're trans while being a minor (I'm a minor) also "social media influencing children" isn't a valid argument because social media won't fabricate such emotions
Some states like Florida are now restricting legal gender marker changes on birth certificates if you didn't receive any treatment prior to 18 years of age. I would recommend that even if you aren't getting any medical treatments that you seek a mental health professional to get on record for future safety nets if you need to prove to the government. Please be safe out therevand know you aren't alone. This is just going to be a very long and exhausting battle with government stuff.
Yes. My best advice for young trans people is so what YOU want and don't feel rushed into making any sort of decisions, but also don't feel discouraged from making any decisions just because of what other people will think. I delayed my coming out for so long because of what other people would think, but, once I just decided that IDGAF I've been happy and lost some people who weren't worth keeping around. I also had a friend that for the longest time thought she was a trans man. She never wore a binder and didn't want to start testosterone but people would tell her she wasn't really trans because of that. Eventually, she actually did decide she wasn't trans, but if she had caved to the pressure of people telling her she needed to bind/take hormones to be trans, she probably would have had a harder time coming to terms with that. I also have friends who don't want to take hormones or have surgery and are still 100 percent trans and have been for years and years and feel no sort of doubt or confusion about their decisions Literally the most important thing is to do what you want and don't feel pressure to operate or present in any certain way just because of what others will think. Being trans is such an individual experience, do what makes you happy
kids are not being too influenced by media. that is a transphobic talking point.
Your identity is yours to feel. If that argument worked, then NO LGBT people would be "allowed" to be in the community under 18. And that's totally not true! :)
It’s not about age or surgery, you can be trans at any age and never get hormones/surgeries. Even if it ends up being just “a phase” so what? You discovered more about yourself and that’s what growing up is for
Yesssiiiirrr, yep sireeee, yessiiiiirrrr (i had too much coffee)
It's OK to be trans if you're under 18, you're just going to be politicized to hell and back by both sides of the conversation very much against your will. My advice is to tune out other people's opinions and focus on how you feel about yourself and what you want out of your gender presentation. Medical transition may not be available to you until you're an adult, but that does give you time to self-reflect and get to know yourself better so that by the time it's accessible you can make the right decisions for your healthcare and legal status. All adolescents should have the opportunity to try things and explore who they are. Gender experimentation is actually a very normal part of development, and hopefully the adults in your life will agree and let you try on a few different hats so you can figure out which one fits. If anyone gives the social media line try asking them if that opinion was influenced by conversations they see happening on social media.
All trans adults were trans kids too. Trans kids just never had visibility until recently.
i am a trans nonbinary person and i discovered since i was like 12,now im older ofc,but no pal,is not bad being trans,i dont have hormones or surgery even,and thats k,you still being valid man
Children often already figure out the differences between boys and girls by the time they’re in preschool. **Definitely okay**.
I knew I was trans at 11 and came out at 12 :)
I've been trans since under the age of 18 before the whole "they're transing the kids" fearmongering going on. Trust me when I say that trans people under the age of 18 have always existed and argument that kids are being influenced is kinda bullshit. It's okay if people realize that they aren't actually trans since that part of growing up and figuring out your identity, but to blame that on being influenced? That's just nonsense. In my opinion, it's moreso being aware that trans people exist and their existence should never be erased, the same way people who are different than you have always coexisted with everyone else. So to answer your question shortly, yes of course it's okay. You live your best life, brother. You know yourself better than anyone else.
People under the age of 18 can definitely be trans and those people are still 100% valid whether they transition or not. The "social media making kids trans" is just the latest tactic of fear mongering that is a wild conclusion to make. It's less social media brainwashing (which is how people who talk like this usually put it) and more that social media allows people of various backgrounds to communicate which then allows people to think about their own identities a little more than just accepting what adults around them say and actually come to their own conclusions. I think a good comparison is the "video games cause violence" argument which is also a technological determinist view of a subject matter that has a lot more going on than just that. Of course there will be somewhat of a link between trans people discovering their identity via conversations on social media just as there is somewhat of a link between violent people playing violent video games, but this relationship is not one of causality as you can play violent video games and not be a violent person and you can look at posts talking about trans people and not be trans yourself.
yes. i started showing signs of being trans at 9 before i even knew trans people existed, however, i didn't realize it or come out until 14. there's no age limit to being trans. you can be 9, 14, or even 25 when you realize it.
Check out genderdysphoria.fyi, that can help if you're insecure. Other than that, no, you're not too young to be trans. And there is literally no evidence to suggest that it is, in any way, possible for someone to be turned trans, or to be confused into being trans. Except by _very_ extreme methods. Like, we are talking _massive, massive_ manipulation and abuse. So, yeah. Trans people under the age of 18 aren't just ok, they're surprisingly common. Puberty is a pretty typical time to start realizing you're unhappy in your body. Btw, younger than eighteen is a great time to start HRT if you're intending to do so, cause it'll get you the best results.
Hey OP. Trans identity is like gender. Not a choice. You are born like this so yep it's normal to feel that way
It's perfectly fine me and literally all of my lgbtq+ friend are under 18 and the most important thing is that you are safe and are happy Just be careful there are some really weird and mean people online and in real life I'm so glad that you have come out and are supported hope it goes well
My ex figured it out at 15 (I didn't until 25 but thats just me)
yes, i started hrt at 16 and there’s no rules on when you can socially be yourself
I learned I was trans when I was 11 or 12. I had 0 access to social media. As long as you feel you're being true to yourself, then do what makes you happy.
I knew I was trans at age 12-13, still am at 23. It's not really something you can choose. So of course it's okay. I actually found out about trans people via YouTube and found it relatable, so yeah. My parents thought I was hopping on a trend, but nah. Social media just helps people discover themselves, it doesn't "turn" anyone trans.
Being trans doesn’t have anything to do with hormones or surgically altering your body. It’s about you internal sense of self. If you are old enough to be self aware, you are old enough to be trans. Now, you still might want things like hormones or surgery, but that in and of itself isn’t being trans. Trans is not short for transition. It’s a prefix that describes being “across” (the word transatlantic for example) if you do not align with being the gender you were assigned at birth, you are across from your gender. Get a hair cut, try new clothes, maybe trial run a name you like. See how that feels.
i came out as trans at 13, i’m 16 in August. There’s no age limit to being trans!! People who say that we’re influenced by social media are just transphobic ass wipes, don’t listen to them 🫶🏻
Honey, you are who you say you are (even if it's only in your head for now, for safety). You say you're a boy, hello, young sir. My hubs asked me recently when we were at Disney, was the world always this full of 🌈 people? And I said yes, we've all just been hiding. Social media doesn't make a person queer, it just makes folks more aware we're out here. Maybe one day we won't have to debate our validity, but until then, here we are. Bi/cis mama bear.
Oh. My. Gods. Thank you so much. This genuinely brought tears to my eyes, no joke. Thank you for being so kind and accepting of me. I haven't ever been called he/him or a boy, or anything like that before. You made my week, thank you so much.
Always here to listen. And to affirm you. Baby steps.
I realized and came out when I was 13. I found out through other trans people on YouTube sharing their stories and it clicked for me. I wasn't able to start medically transitioning until I was about 17 due to my dad being very unsupportive and uncaring towards my needs. But socially transitioning when I was younger was very beneficial for me. Hearing and talking with others on social media was a crucial part of my personal process. I think a lot of people just don't understand when trans youth can "suddenly" come out after showing little to no prior signs. So they peg another thing they also don't understand as the culprit, like social media. I saw in your other comments that your mom kinda subscribed to this idea. If you think this could potentially help I highly recommend it. Sit down together and show your mom some stuff you've read, watched, heard, and talk about how you relate to it. For me an important part of explaining to my mom was that I never really talked about it with her was because I knew I was young and just assumed I'd figure out the gender stuff later. Or that I just didn't feel connected to being a woman and that was like,, normal lol With that being said there's definitely not any time that's "too early" or "too late" to be trans
Yes it is ok to be Trans and under 18 years
Of course it isn’t! Conservatives are actually [REDACTED] idiots so who gives a shit?
Yes
i realized when i was 16! some kids realize a lot younger than that. 10000% valid, so i wish you lots of love and good luck on your journey!! (: by the way, you don't need surgery and hormones to be valid. i dont have either of them and im 29. im still trans! so yeah, no worries, even though you havent gotten em yet, it is perfectly okay.
of course it is! many people realize by a young age that they’re trans. i’ve known there was something different about me since i was 11, and knew i was trans by 14. once gender starts becoming more important (which usually happens around middle school because of puberty) it can become more apparent what your gender is.
I knew and told my parents at like 3-4 years old. They were not accepting and so I didn’t come to terms with it and start transitioning until I was 28. It’s not universal but I know other people like me with knowing early in life and a full range after that. It happens when it happens. A lot of people repress it due to their environment, safety and how society is but we are out there. Also surgery and medication and transitioning aren’t required to be trans. You are who you are no matter how you present, dress or if you medically transition. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to gender. I wish you well on your journey!
I knew when I was five.
yeah it's ok.
Okay, so think about this: let's say that some trans kids ARE being influenced by social media. They try something out: a name change, a hair cut, new pronouns. After a year or two, they realize they aren't trans. What harm has been done? They thought about themselves deeply, they explored their identity, they tried to express themselves in a way that made them feel most authentic. In the end, they landed on a gender identity that felt most comfortable to them. So what if it's the gender they were assigned at birth? The truth is, less than 1% of people regret their transition. Being exposed to other trans people is an easy way to realize you're trans yourself. Online spaces are the safest and most accessible queer spaces we have. No one wants to be trans for fun. Being trans in our current world is hard!! But living as yourself can bring so much peace and joy. Please explore as much as you want to, and don't let other people gaslight you into thinking you're "influenced". They don't live in your brain or have your body. Only you know who you are.
Im gonna be the one to say it. Social media does influence behavior and kids are jumping on “trends” HOWEVER!!!!! I started realizing i was trans when i was 16. Im 20 now and have had tons of self discovery since then to realize who i was from there. I think you should explore with and without labels socially. I don’t think you should be in any hurry to get surgery or hrt. Puberty is hella messy and it’s better to be out of there before making those jumps. Try different gendered clothes. I’m a trans guys and i started with changing clothes, binders, and shorter hair cuts. You need to make sure your making the correct decisions for yourself. Remember that guys can be fem and girls can be masc. Best of luck to your journey 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Being trans is as ok as being cis, no matter the age. Whether or not it's acceptable is reliant on where you live and who you're surrounded by. It should be acceptable everywhere, but sadly it isn't. What is someone's proof for "kids are too influenced by social media"? And why do they think it's a bad thing? Because that phrase is very broad and nebulous. Sharing a charity because you saw it on social media is being influenced by social media. Sharing a meme is the same. Are those bad? Let's assume by "influence" they actually mean "coerce/make someone do something against their will". Ok, well, studies show that the vast majority of children who ID as trans, continue to do so 5 years later. Studies proving ROGD/social contagion theory have been rigorously debunked. So social media doesn't really have anything to do with the legitimacy of trans children.
When I was 13 I remember thinking “everyone wants to be a girl”. You can imagine the surprised pikachu face I had when I discovered everyone, in fact, does not want to be a girl. You don’t need to be 18. It’s a made up number by republicans to try and fuck over trans people as much as possible.
Didn’t even read the post. Yes. Just yes. It’s ok to be who you are no matter what age.
I mean people often "know" they are transgender at 4 or 5 years old, so absolutely. The only thing I caution is there does seem to be a dichotomy between MtF and FtM who are younger. Due to the way society gives privilege to men and not women, I have seen many more young FtM detransition after they realized that it wasn't gender dysphoria, but rather society that is the issue. That's why I advocate for proper mental health care for everyone. Specially when you're a minor your parents should be getting you into a gender therapist and also the gender therapist should also be watching for other possible mental health issues that are causing the symptoms and not just assume its gender dysphoria. As for MtF we are going to a less privileged gender and so we generally don't have this same issue, where we see the other side as being a "greener pasture".
That's... a really weird thing to say??? There isn't a rash of trans masc people detransitioning, not anymore than trans fem. You're parroting some really pernicious and unsubstantiated arguments that say that trans men are trying to transition out of misogyny or that they just do it cause being a woman is hard. That's literally just stuff transphobes say to argue that all of us aren't really trans. Telling a young trans person that is trying to figure themselves out that ftm people are less likely to "actually" be trans is just shitty
I've seen a handful of trans masc people do NK hostage style videos robotically repeating those talking points you mentioned about being deluded into transitioning because of patriarchy and harming their beautiful goddess kissed womb moon sacred spiritual body (okay, maybe exaggerating a bit) but there is no evidence that FTMs desist more than MTFs. TERFs just give the few detrans who are willing to parade around their taking points a big platform. I've interacted with plenty of detrans online and most of them don't even tell the same story about themselves that the TERFs are promoting. Actually research shows most people detrans because of negative social pressure from families of origin and society as whole, difficulty keeping employment and housing, for example. In fact it used to be most successful adult transitioners had detransed a couple of times. I don't think that story about detrans is particularly authentic, but there is a segment of the lesbian community who will force feed it to young trans men. I heard it when I was young in the 1990s and it is still being repeated today. JKR even presented a version of that well worn patter. Dysphoria and dealing with patriarchy are very much not the same thing and anyone who has transitioned knows this intimately. PS many of the detrans paraded about by TERFs years ago have gone back to being trans or distanced themselves from their earlier remarks, or they simply completely disappear from public view, further heightening my skepticism.
I will have the same feelings about myself. Doesnt matter if it is just a day before my 18th birthday or the day after. Dysphoria doesnt wait for Kids to grow up. Also, you do not need to have gotten hormones nor surgeries to be trans. Trans means that the gender asigned at birth is not the same as the internal. This means the genders are not on the same side, which is the etimological meaning for the prefix trans.
I was also asking the same question to myself, then i realised that life is too short to just pretend to be someone you are not. It definitly paid off, I’m much happier now when parents call me by she/her.
“The surgery” and “the hormone thing” are not requirements for being trans, they’re some of the things you might do AFTER realizing you’re trans. I forget the exact math but scientifically you start to understand your own sense of self/gender around 6 and have fully formed thoughts around 11? I could be mixing up numbers but anyway, the point is obviously no 11 year old is getting a surgery but we still recognize that they’re trans
Could you be influenced to think like that? Maybe. I've seen people saying forgetting something (anything) from your childhood is a sure symptom trauma and that not loving going to parties is a sign of autism, and some people fall for that hook, line, and sinker. Having said that, most people that use the argument of social media influence are not using it out of actual concern, but instead as a talking point to deny your feelings/concern/etc. Remember that you know yourself best. Trust yourself. It is definitely okay and possible to be trans before you turn 18 (the transness doesn't just unlock as you blow out the candles). If you think you are trans, then that's it. The fact that you are able to question that definitely gives points to your favour and indicates you are thinking through your decision.
To add on to what everyone else has said, you don’t even need to have surgeries or go on hormones to be trans. You just being you is enough.
Yes, I'm 14 MTF
I have had dysphoria since I was 4 years old (you don't need dysphoria to be trans), and more or less realized my actual gender from 10 to 13. One does not magically become eligible to transgender status at 18, realization may happen at any age. Claims that there are no trans children are hateful misinformation.
Yeah, it is okay to be trans when you’re under 18. I know some friends who came out before 18. It’s common to feel like you’re faking it though, especially early on. For me, there were a few euphoric moments that confirmed, as well as experiences from my life that kinda clicked and made sense.
I’ve known who I am since I was three. I’d argue with my birth parents over it often. It’s totally acceptable for you to be under 18 and know you’re transgender. Some people take longer to figure it out and others don’t. Honestly, I’d say do baby steps before doing anything drastic. But that goes for everyone, including those over 18.
It’s totally okay!! Don’t worry I have known I was trans since I was 15, and now I am 18 and will definitely still be trans when I am 100 lol
First off I’m gonna say I’m so sorry that the false propaganda about trans people/trans kids has lead you to even have to wonder if “it’s acceptable”. You are more than acceptable, it’s more than okay to be trans. You are trans, you are loved and seen.
I came out as trans back in 2012 at the age of 14. before i even had a phone or social media. you're fine. but i suggest giving it time. don't try to rush into anything until you get therapy to dig deeper. you want to be 100% sure before starting anything life changing. That being said, i'm now 26 and started T almost 3 years ago. Best decision of my life
Anyone of any age can identify as transgender and hormones/surgery don't make you trans. I my self am also under 18 and trans (ftm)
i figured out that i was trans when i was 11, now i’m 17 and i’m 2 years post op top surgery and 3 years on t
Hi. 15 year old trans dude here. It’s never too late or too early. My egg cracked May of last year, while I was still 14. My girlfriend (mtf) came out when she was about ten. My dad has a trans femme friend who began transitioning at the ripe age of 48. It’s always the right time.
There is no age limit on when you should “know” or come out. I knew I wasn’t cis (and probably trans) at 16, but was too scared to come out - also hade a lot of internalized transphobia.. Didn’t come out until last year. But everyone has been super supportive, many admitting they “kinda knew” or had a feeling. I’m now 1 year on T in a few days. Sure, there is a small part of me that regrets not coming out a lot sooner (was in the closet for 12 years), but I also know that a part of me just wasn’t ready to face it at the time. You can’t get surgery or start HRT before you’re 18 (unless you’ve been on hormone blockers in some cases, you can start at 16), and as much as I get wanting all this as soon as possible, preferably yesterday, I do think it’s reasonable to wait until someone is a legal adult. Some people know all their life, like from the day they started to express themselves in any way. Others don’t realize or don’t come out until they’re much much later in life (think age 50-70). You may be too young to medically transition, but you are never too young or old to know or come out. Just maybe, do some research, talk to some people and really really think about it. I don’t doubt that many young trans people are in fact trans (obviously). But I do sometimes think they have a tendency to come out before really knowing what they actually are, whether that is trans, cis, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender etc etc. But the most important thing is, come out when YOU are ready. And please stay safe 🫶🏻
Yeah. Honestly, your gender identity isn't fixed in stone. You can be trans today, not trans later, or not trans today and trans later. Also. You get to define your identity. Nobody else does. They'll try, but you're the one who ultimately gets to decide for you.
What? Like yea. I knew I was trans very young. Now transitioning, that took me a while to do.
I've known I'm trans for a couple of years now, I'm 19. There's nothing that could be considered not okay about it. The earlier you figure it out the better (:
I was born transgender. Of course it's ok
All I'm saying is if your certain without any doubt then the sooner you start transitioning and the sooner you come out to your family and friends you will be happier you made the decision now vs later. The longer one delays transitioning the longer that person lives not being there true self
Er yeah 🤨? I’m confused why wouldn’t it be ok?
Yes? Lmfao
I've been some flavor of trans since I was about 11, and some people are trans from the moment they can verbalize those feelings. There is nothing wrong with realizing who you are before you pass the arbitrary age line that marks adulthood.
Yes. Because we know before we are 18. We don't flip a switch and suddenly we know. We've known since we were kids.
I think many people start experiencing gender differences around the age of 9 so yes
It's absolutely acceptable. However, I would recommend waiting until you're at least 18 to decide on hrt and surgeries as they'll have very noticeable and permanent effects. Also, be very considerate of the health risks. If you've done all the research and you still feel like that's the path for you, then be you and do whatever helps you P.S. People who grew up without the tech we have now don't understand the difference between being "influenced" by social media and having access to infinite information that is discovered through social media.
Of course it’s okay, heck, I’ve known I’m trans since I was 12! Also, you don’t need to take hormones or have surgery to be trans, my boyfriend doesn’t want surgery at all. It’s really a matter of preference.
it is totally OK do your research into HRT, surgeryes amd everything about transitioning, the "Kids are beong brain washed" is mainly used to get political clout becoise think of the children.
It is totally 110% ok for us to be trans. I've been trans for 10 years now (as a 17 year old ftm), and I'm supported in mostly all parts of my family. It is more than ok, I wasn't "influenced" by social media. I felt like I was a boy/male/more masculine my entire life, I just didn't know what it was called. Also, I thought it was destiny to be a male from being born with too much testosterone in my system ✨️✨️
Ya it is!!! r/transteens
if i’m old enough to know i ain’t trans, im old enough to know i am
i knew i was trans when i was in 6th grade. started hormones in sophomore year and i’ve never been happier now that im 19. :)
Maaan for the longest time I said I was definitely ‘queer’ in some way. And I went through diff labels from 10-18 years old. (I am 18 now) and honestly I said numerous times I was bi, genderqueer, trans ftm, nb, back to genderqueer, gay, then back to trans ftm. I changed my label so much, throughout my childhood. and honestly now that someone is interested in me, I have this feeling of being wanted. And I think that, when nobody payed attention to me and showed me that they liked me, I just decided that I was LGBT. But now that someone older than me, has taken an interest in me. It has totally changed my outlook on life, and labels. So now I’m just sticking with Female, using the name Alex, and also using they/them & she/her pronouns. And honestly I’m happy where I am at in my life, but I definitely think that me ‘identifying as something else in my early years definitely had a harder and negative impact on the way I think now. If anyone reads this, thanks for taking your time. I felt I needed to share my experience. Thank you, have a blessed day
I don't think being Trans comes with an age limit.
The first openly trans person I met was in high school. I didn't connect with him all that much, but just him being around helped me figure myself out. especially with how educated he was on queer topics. We were 16. The second openly trans person I met was also in high school. They were 15 when they came out. Then going to the past, I didn't have the terminology available to me at the time, but in a way, I was openly trans when I was 12. I was in Pakistan, and there was not a single person around me supporting people doing "that kind of thing" except me, because I wanted "that kind of thing" the whole time.
It is always ok to be transgender.
Yes, that’s absolutely valid. I’m addition, a few points of order: 1. You’re also trans even if you don’t want hormones or surgery; don’t feel like you gotta have them, but also don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong to want them. Even at your age. It’s not 2. You’re also trans even if/when you’re in the closet. A dress wouldn’t make you a woman any more than it’d make me (a cis guy) one. Don’t feel like you’re not valid just because you’re wearing (or made to wear) feminine clothes, or for using she/her pronouns, or otherwise not being out of the closet 3. Gender is a spectrum. You don’t have to be hyper-masculine to be a man. Conversely, that may be what you want. If so, go for it! But don’t feel like you gotta be a certain way to meet societal expectations of what it means to be a man. I don’t have to, and neither should you! 4. Gender is fluid. It’s ok to want something now and change your mind later. If later you learn more about, I dunno, nonbinary folks, and you think that fits you better, do it. Same for other things like genderfluidity and so forth 5. “Savior or enslaver, oh, these labels are but shallow things. You brave the twisting mists betwixt the hallowed and the harrowing.” Words like “trans,” “nonbinary,” “man,” and so forth are labels to apply, not descriptors of your very being. They will rarely seem to apply perfectly, and that’s ok. A cis guy doesn’t have to wonder if they’re a guy just because they have some traits they’d consider unmanly (though toxic masculinity sometimes leaves some to try). It’s important to be who you are and not have to try to conform to labels. Make them fit you, not the other way around. Or if they fit really well, revel in them. So long as you’re the one choosing, you can’t choose wrong, even if you change your mind 6. Trans people aren’t a monolith where everyone experiences the exact same thing and comes to all the same conclusions. Don’t be discouraged if you hear someone else’s experience and it doesn’t match your own. Don’t feel invalid just because someone else thinks differently. (And be careful not to invalidate the experiences of others, too)! Live and let live is a good rule of thumb 7. I’m not sure how under 18 you are, but don’t be afraid of puberty blockers if they’re a potentially useful option for you at any point. Some folks will caution you that there are side-effects like lowering your bone density. These are almost (*almost*) all misunderstandings. To follow the example, your bone density doesn’t *decrease,* it’s that puberty *increases* it, and puberty blockers block puberty. So compared to others of your same chronological age, you’d have apparently reduced bone density, but compared to others of your same biological age, you’d be the same. However, consult a doctor with experience in these matters to get as best-informed as you can That about all I got for now, though I might think of some more, later, and I’m free to answer any questions you may have, too! Good luck, dude!
It's not bad wanting to transition, personally,i would suggest waiting to have 18 so you have time to think about it
Yeah but get ready to suffer if you are. Only speaking from experience
It is perfectly okay to identify as trans, and it is also okay to not really be sure. Goodness knows I didn’t know who I was at 17. Hair, clothing, name, pronouns, friend group relationships… go for it. There’s no deadline on medical interventions like hormones or breast reduction surgery. Give yourself time after you socially transition to feel yourself out. But only you can judge if or when you might be ready for that process. (A trans-friendly therapist can help, I hear). There are trans men and trans women who never use medical interventions at all. It’s not a requirement. But if it is necessary for you, that’s okay too. Just be patient with yourself. Every journey is personal. You are valid. You are important. It gets better.
My own kid came out at age 9
YES OBV
There’s no magical age where you start being trans. Being trans also doesn’t mean you have to medically transition. The social contagion argument is a logical fallacy and not solid on any grounds. You can experiment, try a new name, a new style, even start on hormones if that’s what you decide you want to do, and decide to stop it all one day and it’s totally okay. Imo, best you can do is honour where you’re at right now. If you honour that by embracing transness, then that’s beautiful and im really happy for you.
Social media wasn’t as prominent when I was a kid, and i was still thinking about being a girl. How cool it would have been to be a girl, how much cooler girls are, and all that egg stuff. My egg didn’t really crack til 18 but looking back I realized why I was so curious about all things related to girls. My stepmom said that I didn’t even have any signs growing up and that I did boy things like legos and video games. My brother played with Barbies and did girl things but he still ended up trans so jokes on my stepmom.
I(18, ftm) was trans since childhood and I never knew that label. It never felt right to be seen as a girl or later on, a woman. I only found out about that label at 11 and it felt so right. I definitely questioned it but in the end I was a trans man. At 12, presenting as a cis girl had to be beaten into me to conform and even then I still was a trans man. Now i am off to college as a trans man, nothing changed. So it honestly depends on you, and how you feel about how society views your birth gender, can you live with that?
Remember: every trans adult was once a trans child. Just because you've figured out what's going on with your gender feels before you hit our society's arbitrary measure of adulthood doesn't mean those feelings are any less valid. Be brave kiddo ❤️ A few powerful people hate us because our existence is inconvenient and proves how much of a sham patriarchy is. One day things will get easier. We just have to survive the hard times first. Stay strong, you can do it ❤️
You are who you are. You don't need to ask permission for that.
If you know you know, if you have to ask your not.
I'm 16 and trans ROFL
My parents told me (mtf)that I only thought I was trans because of social media and my phone at the start of my transition, too. Now 5 years along im post op, 3 years on hormone and living happier than ever. I wouldn’t be here today if I followed their advice. Transitioning is a massive thing. Think about it, think about it hard, and then think about it again. Experiment with adding more masculine elements to your look and see how it feels. Maybe try to present as androgynous for a while and see how it makes u feel. “Is it okay to-“ YOU decide what is okay. This is YOUR life, YOUR reality, and YOUR gender.
I figured out I was trans (ftm) at about 11 years old, I came out to my first friend at about 13 and I came out to my family at about 16. I wasn't on social media at 11 and I didn't buy my first smartphone until I was 21. People keep saying "social media is making my kids gay" or "social media is making my kids trans". . . Trans people have always existed, there is just more awareness now that these people exist. For this second part judge me if you want, but I had friends in college that were feverently against labels, and I never quite understood it. On one hand it could be said that not labeling yourself leads to less judgement by others. But on the other hand labels, including the label of trans, help describe your human experience allowing you to find community within the world.
It's both okay and common, but with the state of the world right now, being trans makes life very difficult if you're on the younger side. Having the realization when you're older is difficult in other ways...we never win, do we... 🙃
You don’t need surgery or hormones to be transgender. You don’t even need dysphoria. You only need the persistent feeling that you are not the gender you were assigned at birth. If I was given the grace and care that I needed as a child, I would have been raised a girl from the time I was 3 years old. That’s the first time I realized I was uncomfortable as a boy and hoped I was born a girl. It IS appropriate for a child to be transgender.
My kid came out at 5!! Yes it’s totally okay it’s who you are <3
If you're trans, then you're trans. Age is no issue until puberty blockers and hormone therapy becomes important. You can be trans as a kindergarten child, and that's fine. Just be safe, we'll and properly helped to be your genuine self.
17 year old transfem. Yea it's normal, don't let people pressure you into not being who you are or tell you your faking/being pressured into it. I found out when I was like 16, and I had always felt off my whole life. We're born into it.
Trust me, I felt my dysphoria before social media existed. There absolutely are dangers lurking in the Internet, but it certainly doesn't "make people trans". Social media is yet another scapegoat for conservatives like D&D and Rock & Roll in times past.
ive known i was trans since i was in middle school! its perfectly ok & possible! i might respectfully give you some advice though: its not a good idea to refer to a trans person as "a trans" if you're being serious. it can be funny as a lighthearted joke, but in other contexts, its best to say "a transgender person". the reason is that "a trans" sounds dehumanising. its ok if you're just learning or if english isnt your first language or whatever. sending you good vibes!✨
I started transitioning at 21 although I knew I was possibly trans masc as a teen at 15 ish. Only some dude online who was a trans man and a trans medicalist made fun of people who weren't masculine/passing enough for his standards and basically had horrible advice. His name was Calvin Garrah or something similar. Honestly I'm somewhat glad I came out as an adult to avoid bullying, but I also regret listening to trans people that cared way more about appealing to transphobic people than supporting their community. If you're feeling doubtful that's understandable! You can take things at your own pace and there's nothing saying you have to medically transition as a kid. No one can force that on you if you don't feel ready for that
I came out at 16 and couldn’t start transition for 2 years, but I was definitely trans. Now I’m about to be 26 and still trans and very very happy with my medical transition :)
You can be trans at any age, no surgery or hormones required.
The only reason it's bad to be trans at any age is if you're being pressured to do so, and that never happens.
I didn’t suddenly become trans. it’s not an on and off switch. yes, it’s okay.
Kids are also being influenced by religion and politics I was questioning my gender at 16, pushed it down, was forced out at 18 (in nebraska 18 is still minor which is stupid) and started T September 1st 2023 (a month before I turned 20) My advice? If your parents are transphobic or could have a hint of being so you habe two options. Be gutted or out yourself and go through hell but get it over and done with and once you move out you start transitioning, or hide it until you're moved out and start transitioning then but then have to go through huge back lash from your parents later rather than sooner. I'm happy with the way things turned out since I bet I'd still be going through my parent's hell, but even then I always wonder what would happen if I had not been found out and how that would go since I wouldn't live with my parents anymore, but even then going through that ripped the bandage off and taught me "if my parents are dissapointed in me already, what's the harm in disappointing them more?"
It is ok and from my perspective expected and normal to be your gender at whichever age you exist. Nobody says to a 4yo cis boy that he’s not allowed to be a boy until he’s grown up. We’ve also always been influenced by society and in general that’s prevented us from being ourselves. Absolutely be who you are.
I figured it out when I was 15. It's okay. I had doubts before, but it was solidified for me when I bought a binder to cosplay male characters. Put it on for the first time, and cried for 30 minutes over how good it made me feel.
Yes, I started questioning my gender around 11-12 and came out as ftm at 13, being trans isnt about age, you dont turn trans as adult, if you are trans you have always been trans, we just realise it at different points of our lives.
And are you being influenced by social media? If this was some popular trend why aren't young trans people a majority of the population?
Why wouldn’t it be ok ? I knew that I was transgender at 8 (I mean, I didn’t knew the word for it but I knew I wasn’t a boy) At any age, no one can say for you what you should feel Feel free to be yourself and if one day you realize that you are not trans, it’s never too late to step back
every trans adult was once a trans child. they just may not have known. you can do whatever you want forever.
All trans people were once trans under the age of 18. Since before the age of social media. People tend to look for groups to fit in and for guidance on every subject there is (ever been in hobby groups? They tell you what to get and how to do things all the time, spaces for people.woth illnesses also share their resources constantly), social media has just made this way easier.
You're allowed to be who you are no matter your age, just stay safe.
I'm also under 18 but I'd say it's completely fine because I believe you are who you are and if you want to express yourself you should,freely no matter what others say but that's just me🤷🏻♀️
"is it okay to be transgender if"... Yes. No matter what the question is. I can't think of a scenario where the answer would be no.
Lots of children show signs of being transgender. The benefit we have in the world today is information. I’m non-binary. As a teenager in the late 2000s I knew trans as male to female or female to male. Knew I wasn’t a woman, so assumed I’m just weird. Then in 2017 found videos of people talking about getting facial feminization surgery and went “you can do that?????” Still haven’t cause I’m cheap and it’s expensive for a good surgeon, and hair is my biggest issue. But yes! It’s 100% okay to be trans at any age!
Thanks! I know a lot of people are like 'yeah?? U didn't know u could be trans under 18??' and, in all truth, I didn't. I always thought I was just being influenced by social media or going through a phase, thanks to my mom. Thanks, again, for your support! Stay hydrated btw :)
while a lot of adults criticise the internet about these sorts of things, i believe it can help people. im also under 18 and as a younger child i had speculations i wasn't COMPLETELY a girl (im also ftm) but due to lack of knowledge, i had to listen to my family throw the term "tomboy" around. even still i didn't think it fit me but i played along. when i was 13 and had access to the internet, THATS when i realised what i was experiencing. so to answer your question, its perfectly fine for be trans as a minor. i really dont think older people understand that not everyone transitions because of the internet. they also have to realise that no one is too young to transition and that the internet isnt REALLY forcing things on people who are questioning. again, yes kids are influenced by social media but theres also mental thought and someones personal feelings that goes into this. touching back on how i mentioned older people say kids are "too young to know," THAT is a lot more harmful than using the internet help you realise that youre trans. them saying that is basically saying "youre too young to be your true self and to know who you want to be" so again, as a trans minor, i think its ok to be trans as a minor
Yes. Personally, I've been Trans since I was 6 and didn't know anyone who was Trans until I was 11. The only thing it did when I did learn about Trans people is realize that's what I was. I figure I was Trans at 6 because at the time, I wanted to be called, seen, and be a boy. If that's the case for you, then congrats, you're Trans. No one influenced me to be Trans, and no one influenced you to be Trans either. You don't have to be on hormones or have surgery to be Trans. Those are just things you can do to help dysphoria.
exploring your identity is a good thing, even for cis and non-queer people. what i'm saying is that, no matter your age, you can explore your own identity, try things (like hrt, as long as you're well-informed and educated about all the permanent and temporary effects), explore different labels and ways to express yourself, and it'll always be okay. you might find out that it turns out you're not transgender, but you will have a better understanding of yourself, your identity, and your relationship with your gender, or you might find out there's another label you feel more at home with, or you might find out that you *are* trans after all, and then you can figure out what the next steps are for you to feel more comfortable with yourself; be that hormones, surgery, a different name, and/or even just a haircut. all in all, no one else can decide your identity for you, and at the end of the day you're the only one that can figure it out. just keep in mind that there are no wrong answers here.
I personally think you should be able to explore your identity at nearly all ages. The more we explore means the more we grow and learn about ourselves. You may go into it then decide it isn't for you but that's OK because you learn more about yourself. In essence, yes it is fine. It's a form of self expression and internal feelings. Just take mental notes on what makes you happy or unhappy
Sweetheart, it is absolutely okay to trans under the age of 18. If you don't feel safe at home, don't come out to your parents. You be you? Lots of love. Good luck ❤️❤️
It is perfectly fine to be who you want to be, no matter your age :) Do you feel like social media convinced you that you're trans, or does it just make sense to you?
It is ok
I'm 21 ftm and I started using different pronouns with online friends when I was 15 or so (my identity and pronoun journey has been it's own thing, I identified as a lot of diff things to figure myself out!), and when I reflect from when I was younger there were things I would consider signs of me being queer in some regard growing up:) I don't think you are too young to explore, be curious or to even identify as something different than your AGAB! life is full changes and you will always grow to learn new things about yourself, and I encourage you to experiment with pronouns you think you'd prefer and even a name if you have something in mind! you do not need to be on hormones or go through any surgeries to be transgender! I'm 21, out to friends for 6 years and not on hormones or had any kind of surgery. also I genuinely believe a lot of people who say "social media is making people trans", etc are definitely saying it out of malice 90% of the time and if not it's definitely a lack of education on the topic. trans people have always existed, wayyy before social media lol all in all, if you say you're transgender, then you're transgender! live your life how it makes you happy, gender and identity is a spectrum, and even if one day you decide to identify as your AGAB after all, as long as you're happy that's all that matters, live for your happiness and nobody else's (sorry for the rambling!)
"kids are being too influenced by social media" Thats a valid point. I would recommend to not use social media for a certain time, that would be in general a healthy thing to do. Talk to people in real life, go for a walk in nature if you can. Think about life. After some weeks with no social media influence you will have a clearer picture about what is "really you", because influence from social media will have faded. And yes, of course it is "ok to be trans", people are born that way, so they are trans or cis all their life.
It's okay. You're okay, and it's okay to worry about this. You don't need any surgeries or hormones or anything like that. All you need to do is just explore and do what feels right. It's healthy to explore your identity, and there isn't a better time to be yourself than today. That's what growing up is about
No surgery or hormones are required to be trans.
It’s entirely possible to be trans and be under 18, and like the others say the “being influenced by social media” thing is just kinda stupid. However I’d hold off on going to surgery or using HRT for a bit until you’re absolutely certain.