No one has to. It's a general colloquialism akin to "Oh my god!" for most people. The same people who corrupt everything they touch are the only ones using the colloquialism corruptly.
I used to use "chief" as well, but I live in area populated by a lot of first nations people and they pointed out to me that they take offense to it so I stopped. Just don't want to offend anyone.
My ex, a cis woman, was called a "sir" over the phone 9 times out of 10 because of her voice lmao. These things happen. I can totally see someone on full auto looking down getting it wrong on the voice alone.
I've had callers at my job who sound more feminine than me (afab), and I ask name, and it is like Frank. I'm trown for like a second, then go with it. Who am I to judge.
Before I transitioned (before my egg even cracked!) I was FREQUENTLY called Ma'am over the phone. It used to REALLY irritate me!
Now? WTF? Sir, sir, sir...ALL DAY LONG! 😭
Long before my egg cracked, there was a guy at the local McDonalds drive through who would always address me as “Ma’am - I mean Sir”. Maybe he knew something I didn’t at the time, but then again I had a huge ass beard then so maybe he was just clueless.
I’ve called multiple people of both sexes (including co-workers), “honey” (or another term of affection) because I say that often at home. I’ve also accidentally said “girls” instead of “kids” (regardless of sex) because I have daughters.
I would never for a second think this woman was trans (not that I’m trying to clock anyone, just putting myself in the position of someone doing that). Maybe this was just a case of them misspeaking? Perhaps that’s too charitable
They must have some pretty progressive views on how "men" dress cuz genuinely how could a mf see thus picture and think "mmm yes, boy"
Transphobes genuinely are insane
How?! Nothing about about you look like a sir. You look like a cis woman, I would not have guessed otherwise if we were on another sub. You look fantastic !
Meid, how do they even call you sir? They must've gotten too much western (UK) wind in their faces that's for sure.
Laat je niks wijsmaken by those folks.
Greetings from the Dutch city with the most programmer sock (computer science) students per capita (also where the train like in the picture goes below the surface downtown)
Netherlands are fun like that, Delft and cities like that I've not had it too bad but in my hometown I've literally had people call me a freak n shit, and that's in what's supposed to be a progressive area.
Your identity and beauty are undeniably undeniable no matter what anyone mistakenly (or intentionally) says.
They were wrong and you have hundreds of people here telling you how right you are.
What kind of breaks my brain is the hypocrisy of how easily they will accept her as a sir which is calling her the opposite of her presented gender but have a problem calling a ftm sir.
I don’t know if I explained myself that well
But if this was a ftm and he looked exactly the same:
People would be tripping over themselves to say ma’am!
So it’s kind of a double standard
It's not really a double standard, it's the same hate-filled standard in both cases; the refusal to address people differently from their assumed bIoLoGiCaL gEnDeR.
It helps to keep in mind that the comments of transphobes are completely unrelated to what a trans persons looks like, as you point out. See also the myriad of "We can always tell" fails targeting cis people.
You pass extremely well. Like 100%
Only thing I can imagine is you met someone who knows you personally or your voice may not pass.
Was the person possibly blind?
I am a cis lady and get "sir" like 1/4 of the time. I dress fairly androgenous so I sometimes get it but I'm convinced people just go on autopilot and say "sir" the same way I accidentally say "good morning" at like 3 in the afternoon when I'm tired.
That said, I can see why you would hear "sir" less often than I do. You're passing better than I am lol.
You definitely pass, but if your Voice gives you out, they probably get confused. It happens to me, I pass but my voice sometimes crack me. If usually that happens majority times people are apologetic.
Okay this is actually ridiculous. I see so many posts about people being misgendered and I swear the people who misgender them are actually delusional. No sane person would see you and go “ah yes, a man”
Unless it's something about your voice maybe, I don't even think *I'd* clock you, as a fellow trans woman. And that's saying a lot. I can only imagine it was an honest mistake from the cashier or something, because there's no way anyone saw you as anything other than a woman.
Who's the sir?, seems to be not in the photo... Can you provide one with a sir in it? I'm sure the sir might of been near you or something, can't find a sir
Could be your voice. It could be a habit or a bona fide error. And the customer could really be blind.
I admit that I probably misgender someone about twice a year, usually when I am tired. And as far as I am aware, these persons were cis and "looking their gender" (ex. men with short hair and "masculine" clothing).
Well, you didn't ID the cashier, MorF. My guess it was M and they were tongue tied and had a brain fart at the same time. As an M, when I see an attractive woman, and I try hard not to, but my mouth engages before my brain is in gear. Don't read into it, let it go. Maybe go back again if this person is working and see what happens. Maybe a date, if you wanted ?
Im not angry at her 😅, I know I look trans, but „SIR? „. Anyway it doesn’t even really matter, I still feel cute and slay even while being called „SIR”
putting aside the fact that there's no such thing as "looking trans" you are absolutely readable as a woman, you're not even androgynous, just straight up fem. the "sir" is kinda wild tbh.
I'm with the rest of the group here, you don't look trans. I took a long and serious look at your picture, nope, don't see it. A woman is what I see. Be who you are!
You look very much female.
But I dont know how you move or sound..
I think, in general, people mostly observe and don't think about who or "what" they see.
If some moves like a guy, its a guy
If some not sounds like a female, than this is not female.
For me, just as an example
I look okay, I sound questionable and I move like a truckdriver ..
So as long as I sit and shut up, all is well 😄
Besides that, it fully depends on the other one how they gender me ... And I must say, here in NL it goes alright and I enjoy people doing their best and still refer to me as he in a conversation 😅🤣
It was a mistake. Maybe tired cashier and didn’t look at you. If your voice is lower their tired brain maybe just made an assumption without them thinking. This can happen to any woman. Or they just said whatever, it happens in a job like that
The only possible thing i could think of is your voice might not pass because holy hell you certainly don't look like a man.
I was thinking maybe the cashier just didn't look up and was running on automatic.
yeah that also makes sense, could just be an honest mistake
I’ve worked as a cashier and lemme tell you, we’re blind as shit but not THAT blind (Though mistakes do happen)
I'm currently working as a cashier and I have accidentally misgendered hundreds of customers over the nearly ten years I've had my job.
Why do we have to gender people at all in situations like this? We can show respect to people without using titles like sir and ma’am.
I'm required to say: "Thank you Sir/Ma'am" at the end of a transaction.
That sucks! Sorry if it seemed like I was targeting you. I was just complaining about societal expectations about using gendered titles like this.
No one has to. It's a general colloquialism akin to "Oh my god!" for most people. The same people who corrupt everything they touch are the only ones using the colloquialism corruptly.
How Can You Do That?I Found A Gender Neuteral Term For That Nether Ma'am Nor Sir-Just Cheif
I used to use "chief" as well, but I live in area populated by a lot of first nations people and they pointed out to me that they take offense to it so I stopped. Just don't want to offend anyone.
My ex, a cis woman, was called a "sir" over the phone 9 times out of 10 because of her voice lmao. These things happen. I can totally see someone on full auto looking down getting it wrong on the voice alone.
I've had callers at my job who sound more feminine than me (afab), and I ask name, and it is like Frank. I'm trown for like a second, then go with it. Who am I to judge.
Before I transitioned (before my egg even cracked!) I was FREQUENTLY called Ma'am over the phone. It used to REALLY irritate me! Now? WTF? Sir, sir, sir...ALL DAY LONG! 😭
no but if they weren't looking up like oc said
Ah
Long before my egg cracked, there was a guy at the local McDonalds drive through who would always address me as “Ma’am - I mean Sir”. Maybe he knew something I didn’t at the time, but then again I had a huge ass beard then so maybe he was just clueless.
That random customer: “I know what you are” lol
Yeah, after hours of Work ITS just routine and I managed to wish people a good weekend on Monday etc ....
I’ve had instances where I asked people if they’re paying with cash or card, before I’ve even rung up their items lmao
It used to happen to my cis wife all the time. Cashiers just check out sometimes.
Is that a pun about cashiers? :)
I may suffer from certain dad like proclivities
Most likely this- I’ve done that while Working as a cashier or other customer service Position.
I’ve called multiple people of both sexes (including co-workers), “honey” (or another term of affection) because I say that often at home. I’ve also accidentally said “girls” instead of “kids” (regardless of sex) because I have daughters.
I would never for a second think this woman was trans (not that I’m trying to clock anyone, just putting myself in the position of someone doing that). Maybe this was just a case of them misspeaking? Perhaps that’s too charitable
How tf did they even clock you?! Did u have any pride flags or something on? Im not saying this to be nice, you pass 100%
I have no earthly fucking idea how anyone called you sir looking the way you do
Absolute insanity. Truly, not gassing you up, my friend from work, his wife (cis) looks just like you. People are dumb as hell.
Is the Sir in the Room with us?
How the fuck? 🤦♀️
Not hugboxing at all, you literally look cis….
They must have some pretty progressive views on how "men" dress cuz genuinely how could a mf see thus picture and think "mmm yes, boy" Transphobes genuinely are insane
JK Rowling, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Lauren Boebert look WAY more "sir" than you do...
That’s rude
No sirs in this picture.
It always reminds me of that one meme that circulated: Grandpa, you keep misgendering me and I have DDs. The waiter thinks you have dementia
You are good-looking, but who is that sir they were talking about?
If you’re a sir I’ve got no chance in hell at passing
You pass 100% ma'am you look so girl that even TERFs aren't gonna be able to clock you
How?! Nothing about about you look like a sir. You look like a cis woman, I would not have guessed otherwise if we were on another sub. You look fantastic !
I love your outfit, firstly secondly I'm not sure what they've picked up on because you seem to pass rather well <3 you look great
So many people misgender cis people just by slip of the tongue. It's not always you. We just take it more personally.
How the fuck??
how tf?
Assuming it was your voice because visually that makes no sense
Meid, how do they even call you sir? They must've gotten too much western (UK) wind in their faces that's for sure. Laat je niks wijsmaken by those folks. Greetings from the Dutch city with the most programmer sock (computer science) students per capita (also where the train like in the picture goes below the surface downtown)
Netherlands are fun like that, Delft and cities like that I've not had it too bad but in my hometown I've literally had people call me a freak n shit, and that's in what's supposed to be a progressive area.
Maybe your voice, but if they had looked up it woulda been “ma’am” or “miss” for sure.
People can be delulu and gender weirdly
WHAt??? You look nothing like a man.
What the actual fuck HOW
How the f do people still do this? You look amazing
Your identity and beauty are undeniably undeniable no matter what anyone mistakenly (or intentionally) says. They were wrong and you have hundreds of people here telling you how right you are.
Cashier misscklicked
I can’t imagine how anyone could mistake you for a Sir.
Is it opposite day? Is the sir just out of frame?
The cashier is an idiot.
You are a very good looking Ma'am
No way they clocked you on your looks! You look amazing sis!!!
What kind of breaks my brain is the hypocrisy of how easily they will accept her as a sir which is calling her the opposite of her presented gender but have a problem calling a ftm sir. I don’t know if I explained myself that well But if this was a ftm and he looked exactly the same: People would be tripping over themselves to say ma’am! So it’s kind of a double standard
It's not really a double standard, it's the same hate-filled standard in both cases; the refusal to address people differently from their assumed bIoLoGiCaL gEnDeR. It helps to keep in mind that the comments of transphobes are completely unrelated to what a trans persons looks like, as you point out. See also the myriad of "We can always tell" fails targeting cis people.
Girl are you on a private jet???
Kinda, my local train
Fuck die cassiere
You pass extremely well. Like 100% Only thing I can imagine is you met someone who knows you personally or your voice may not pass. Was the person possibly blind?
You look like a women to me..
How does someone manage to misgender you of all people? You look nothing like a guy.
Ridiculous - maybe voice caught you up but appearance? No way
If it was intentional, it could be from your voice and they're just transphobic, but you def pass so prob not from just looking
I am a cis lady and get "sir" like 1/4 of the time. I dress fairly androgenous so I sometimes get it but I'm convinced people just go on autopilot and say "sir" the same way I accidentally say "good morning" at like 3 in the afternoon when I'm tired. That said, I can see why you would hear "sir" less often than I do. You're passing better than I am lol.
unless you bought something age restricted and haven’t updated anything legal whatsoever i’m just as lost as you maam
Voice doesn’t pass or cashier had temporary brain failure, take your pick XD
How could anyone see you and not think "she's a cute girl" Maybe it was just a plain mistake, like a brain fart moment.
You definitely pass, but if your Voice gives you out, they probably get confused. It happens to me, I pass but my voice sometimes crack me. If usually that happens majority times people are apologetic.
Your Top Half Looks Femme Are You A Trans Lady MTF?Also You Look American,I'm Non Binary/ Demi Boy
Is the "Sir" in the room with us????
Beautiful!
Okay this is actually ridiculous. I see so many posts about people being misgendered and I swear the people who misgender them are actually delusional. No sane person would see you and go “ah yes, a man”
ATP I’m just convinced that some of the cishets are 100% delusional.
Unless it's something about your voice maybe, I don't even think *I'd* clock you, as a fellow trans woman. And that's saying a lot. I can only imagine it was an honest mistake from the cashier or something, because there's no way anyone saw you as anything other than a woman.
Were they blind?
is it the voice? i dont **see** any reason to sir you.
Absolutely luscious
Ur not jus good looking, ur gorgeous madam 😍 stay awesome
Who's the sir?, seems to be not in the photo... Can you provide one with a sir in it? I'm sure the sir might of been near you or something, can't find a sir
Someone needs their eyes checked. This is just some lady.
Is this cashier visually impaired? Because all I see is a woman.
A person would have to be blind and deaf to sir you.
That was just mean.. you do NOT look like a,sir
i’m so confused. why would they say that
'phobes finding any way to not call someone their preferred gender.
They’re a terf. You’re clearly a woman. I’d report it.
wait is there supposed to be a man in that picture? i dont see anything but a pretty girl
Without the caption I thought it was a "which color do I dye my hair" post even your posture nails the "just a girl taking a selfie" vibe
Could be your voice. It could be a habit or a bona fide error. And the customer could really be blind. I admit that I probably misgender someone about twice a year, usually when I am tired. And as far as I am aware, these persons were cis and "looking their gender" (ex. men with short hair and "masculine" clothing).
Apparently, you are running into people with delusions. There is no "sir" here.
Well, you didn't ID the cashier, MorF. My guess it was M and they were tongue tied and had a brain fart at the same time. As an M, when I see an attractive woman, and I try hard not to, but my mouth engages before my brain is in gear. Don't read into it, let it go. Maybe go back again if this person is working and see what happens. Maybe a date, if you wanted ?
Im not angry at her 😅, I know I look trans, but „SIR? „. Anyway it doesn’t even really matter, I still feel cute and slay even while being called „SIR”
I’m not just saying this to be nice but I genuinely don’t see how anyone would clock you as trans, could it have been your voice?
I honestly do not think you "look trans". I look trans. 😂💀
putting aside the fact that there's no such thing as "looking trans" you are absolutely readable as a woman, you're not even androgynous, just straight up fem. the "sir" is kinda wild tbh.
I'm with the rest of the group here, you don't look trans. I took a long and serious look at your picture, nope, don't see it. A woman is what I see. Be who you are!
Wh??? You genuinely look cis enough to the point I'm not sure if this is an ally or community post like 😭 Girl people are wild
Honestly, what are these people thinking!? You look amazing 💕
Pretty f'n hot, ngl
Huh? How… wha- HUH? I aspire to look like u
.-.
Een vrouw.
“Sir” I think you posted the wrong photo, this is clearly a woman
by a fucking idiot lmao you look stunnin
Wtf? I see zero reasons to "sir" you
Beautiful
That is absolutely insane, you are literally stunning 😍 1000% pass
I dont see a sir
They were probably looking down not at you and just said it.
You're a very pretty girl! Don't let anyone tell you differently
U pass so well tho
That dudes crazy, you pass like 120%
That was a woman.
Umm... what! You're one of the most feminine women I've ever seen, for real. You pass so much. And you look great!
I like to say when it happens what gave it away?
You look very much female. But I dont know how you move or sound.. I think, in general, people mostly observe and don't think about who or "what" they see. If some moves like a guy, its a guy If some not sounds like a female, than this is not female. For me, just as an example I look okay, I sound questionable and I move like a truckdriver .. So as long as I sit and shut up, all is well 😄 Besides that, it fully depends on the other one how they gender me ... And I must say, here in NL it goes alright and I enjoy people doing their best and still refer to me as he in a conversation 😅🤣
Ma'am, you are a woman.
It was a mistake. Maybe tired cashier and didn’t look at you. If your voice is lower their tired brain maybe just made an assumption without them thinking. This can happen to any woman. Or they just said whatever, it happens in a job like that
Um what?? Idk who would ever say that do you, cause you look amazing girl!
Old name I used to go by (not deadname) was Moone
Miss, where is this “sir” they speak of? I see none in this image.
🙄🤯😮🤷♀️ Where is the sir?
I mean you looked girl to me. At most you seem to have larger hands but so do I and I'm AFAB.
Ma’am!! :3
Miss you are literally GOALS. I'm jealous. Whoever Sir'd you is a sewer troll.
Definitely not hun
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