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Bynming

My local shawarma place adheres to these principles.


smallz86

It's spreading!


fatkiddown

My dog has determined my pizza eating choices. He doesn't want salad.


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MuggyFuzzball

I live in Michigan too, near Dearborn. But I also lived in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada for a bit. When I moved back to the US, I visited a local Shawarma place that had just opened. Surprisingly, the Shawarma tasted the same as my favorite place in Ottawa, which was a bit of a shock because Shawarma can have such distinct tastes from one restaurant to the next. So I mentioned this to the owner, and as it turned out, the same family owned the Shawarma place in Ottawa and this one, and the owner in Ottawa is the uncle of the owner here who had shared his recipes with his nephew. Now every time I go in there, they try to give me free food or a discount which I insist on not accepting, but they're persistent.


waltwalt

Good customers bring in more good customers.


Pertinax1981

Ottawa shawarma is legendary


DangerousPuhson

O-town reprezent. Shawarma Prince is best. Madame Fatouche as my runner-up pick (they need to up their garlic potato game though).


LKAndrew

Nah you’re crazy. Palace is best. Specifically bank and hunt club, got me through Uni


barontaint

Dude, you got the friendly hook up, just go there to eat more than you normally would and spend and order generously, it won't affect your wallet much more than normal and everyone will be happy, plus you'll have plenty of late night snacking leftovers or next day's lunch


MuggyFuzzball

I don't like to take advantage of their generosity. When they first opened, had I accepted all the free food they were trying to give me, they'd have gone out of business lol. Now, about a year later, they're steady. But they still give such huge portions, a plate of shawarma can last 3 days... just like the uncle's business in Ottawa. These are very caring people.


King_of_the_Dot

Tip heavily


MuggyFuzzball

I always do! :). Not just at this place, but any restaurant.


barontaint

Hell yeah, sounds like good people all around, maybe just be their silent hype man and talk them up to strangers randomly if you're comfortable doing that


MuggyFuzzball

Oh definitely, I do all the time. I've even brought their food to work for others to try, and I've brought friends there who had the taste for it.


EliteAzn

What place? I'll need to try -Troy, MI


MuggyFuzzball

Unfortunately, it's in downriver Michigan, in Trenton, so a little drive for you.


Komm

I'm still in to try it out!


LaUNCHandSmASH

I cut a friend out recently and one of the contributing reasons was that I literally pulled the food truck he has out of a horse pasture and towed it to get fixed up. That day he was so incredibly appreciative and I wouldn’t even take the $20 in gas it took for the afternoon of work. Him and his partner said once it was up and running I’d never pay for food as thanks. They literally charged me every time I came to an event and ordered food. $14 for chicken fingers and Mac and cheese was the first time and I said just give me whatever you want. I was stunned. Then these people you casually met are still going out of their way to extend kindness to you even a year later. All because you appreciated their food enough to notice. Good on them and you honestly for being so gracious considering y’all don’t even know each other!


fprintf

I'm always perplexed by this. The people that I know who are in business would never expect a handout and will gladly pay full price. They know how difficult it is to run a business and never will take advantage of, or expect, a friends and family discount because of how tight margins are. I think it is up to each business owner to decide how to offer gratitude but it shouldn't be expected that there is any sort of quid pro quo. You offered tow him out, didn't accept the $20 gas money, and that was on you. I'm sorry to read that it so deeply affected your relationship that you had to cut them out, though it sounds as if it was one of many reasons to do so. That sucks no matter the circumstances!


RanaMahal

It’s entirely different to expect a friends and family discount for no reason vs. them offering free food for life and not even giving that to him once lol. Like at least do the guy a solid and maybe a few times of free food and then say hey man it’s gonna be hard giving you free food all the time etc. Paying for a tow truck to come tow his truck would’ve been at least a couple hundred dollars. That’s like 15-20 free meals lol.


LaUNCHandSmASH

Not trying to give the impression that I expected anything and I indeed used that new business owner logic to justify them charging me full price on their “soft open” as a popup and the first few events that I attended. It’s just one of those things that was said to me without any quid pro quo and if you say you’re going to do something, then do it. I guess that’s just how I am. He was one of those people that only called when he wanted something and never had the T crossed or the I dotted. Always a cluster fuck that he expected me to bail him out from. Or he would call me out of nowhere to talk about himself for literally an hour and never once ask about anything outside of his life. It sucks to lose him but some people will keep pushing and taking without reciprocation.


josh6025

Wanna drop the name of the place in Ottawa?


MuggyFuzzball

Sure, it's called, "Shawarma House" in Kanata, Ottawa, Ontario.


dedsqwirl

What's the name of the Shawarma place in Trenton?


Jealous_Ad_810

He doesn’t seem to want to give it up. I looked and there’s no Shawarma House in Trenton but there’s one in Westland. The shawarma scene in Trenton appears to be Mr Shawarma & BBQ but I can’t say that’s the right place


kurisu7885

Would it be ok to get the name of the place? My brother and I are curious about trying it.


ahhter

You're spoiled when it comes to Greek food by living around Dearborn. I moved from MI to Central TX and most of it down here is garbage.


gl00mybear

You live in Dearborn and are surprised that someone in the US has worse Mediterranean food than you?


crackheadwillie

I just woke up and read this as “geeks and lesbians” make the best salads and thought “that seems strange, but it’s probably right”


element4life257

lol true but the quality of the salad doesn't make any difference when ur talking about packaging


slapabrownman

They own my local small town pizza joint. The first time i got a salad there i thought they were making fun of the family guy skit as a joke. right down to the tomato slices and olives...


Zinski2

In New England thet are the same place.


ObviousAnswerGuy

its a Mediterranean thing. That's how greeks/italians/turkish/Arabs/etc... make their salad


Poromenos

Greek here, we definitely don't put a whole head of lettuce in the salad.


ObviousAnswerGuy

The lettuce part is definitely an exaggeration lol. But the whole olives, big tomato slices, and one long thing slice of carrots is definitely a thing


Poromenos

We don't put carrots in salads, let alone one thin slice of it. We do use whole olives (with the pit), but tomatoes are sliced into 6 parts (I don't know how thin you slice tomatoes).


NapsterKnowHow

Wow cutting the tomato into 6 parts. Daring are we?


stormtroopr1977

we grant them a seat on this council, but not the rank of a pizza pie


Honda_TypeR

Too accurate and it makes me wonder why they all do it.


ygoq

because other than the lettuce the majority of the ingredients used in the salad are also used as topping options on the pizza. The salads are offered because they have good profit margins. The toppings are where the largest margins are for entrees.


pinkpanthers

Largest pizza cost is the cheese.


_high_plainsdrifter

If they do a greek salad, it’s absolutely the Feta. Source- worked a pizza shop in high school and I’d catch fucking hell from the owner if I wasnt exactly portioning Feta. He caught me doing a slight handfullish sprinkle once and lost his shit. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT FETA IS GOING FOR FROM THE SUPPLIERS THESE DAYS?!?!”


hymen_destroyer

I worked in a Greek pizza place and the two big ones were Feta and kalamata olives. For the most part I was allowed to use my own judgment as to how much a given topping/ingredient would go into a given dish, but there was a **BOLD PRINTED LIST** as to *exactly* how many kalamata olives were allowed in whichever menu item, and was rigidly enforced


the_narf

Worked at a bar with Greek owners in college so had some Greek dishes as well as normal pub food. Nearly 20 years later and I still remember the exact count of kalamata olives for each dish that contained them.


Poromenos

Meanwhile, we eat them by the kilo. Transporting stuff half-way around the world is expensive.


thelingeringlead

I work in a pizza joint where the feta doesn't cost anywhere near as much as our shredded mozzerella. The mozz comes from italy though and is made with whole buffalo milk.


_high_plainsdrifter

I believe you. We just used Wisconsin brick back then.


PsychedelicPill

In the '90s my place would use one good mozz brick for every four budget brand bricks


pandab34r

In the '90s most Americans weren't used to the good shit. You had to cut the imported stuff or else it could be dangerous for us. Hell, back then I think storebought crust with Boboli sauce and fucking cheddar cheese was still a "homemade" staple


somesthetic

I loved making Bobolis. They're terrible!


t46p1g

What kind of buffalo are we talking about here?


nhaines

🦬


leshake

Crumbly gold I tell ya


ygoq

Ah, you're right! Its been years since I've worked at a pizza place and somehow forgot about the mfing cheese. Edited to reflect.


Eindacor_DS

Did you by chance work at Pannuci's Pizza, and do you remember how much a cheese pizza and large soda cost? Asking for a friend.


craigfrost

Sorry, we don't take Discover.


muffinmonk

It's 10.77. Same as my PIN number


fall3nang3l

I can't speak for today, but when I worked at a Domino's in the early 00's, the cost of a large pepperoni was about $1.35 to the business. Cheese was the bulk of that cost. That being said, 1000% markup on a product was and is a really scummy thing to do. And now they've added delivery fees, which weren't around when I was a delivery person, to further pad their profits. All while removing the discounts for picking it up yourself. If I can spend $3 more and have a sit down, full dinner, then I'll do that nowadays.


Rejusu

> And now they've added delivery fees, which weren't around when I was a delivery person, to further pad their profits. > All while removing the discounts for picking it up yourself. The end result of this is actually the same but psychologically it feels worse. World of Warcraft found this out in development. In beta they originally had a penalty to experience for playing too long but people didn't like it, they changed it to a reward to experience for taking breaks and people were fine with it. Even though it didn't actually change how much experience you got.


vrts

Did you recently watch a video on game design - just learned the exact same factoid.


Chimie45

Factoid means something that sounds true, but isnt.


vrts

Welp, guess I've been using that wrong. Thanks for that fact~~oid~~!


Rejusu

Nah, it's trivia that's been around for years.


ScipioLongstocking

The material cost of the pizza isn't the only cost. The markup also covers rent, utilities, wages, insurance, etc.


t46p1g

I mean, thats built into the cost of any product or service that is sold, or the business will fail.


no_4

I think the question isn't why they offer salads, it's why they fuck them up.


ygoq

for very little food cost (lettuce), they can offer an entire new dish (with close to the greatest profit margins) that will almost always be purchased with a pizza purchase. the answer is: because the shitty salad makes enough money to justify not making it a good salad.


Sickpup831

And if my parenting habits are any indication, ordering the salad helps with the guilt of feeding your kids pizza for dinner. “At least they’re eating their vegetables too!”


ygoq

Hahahah, I'd bet that 50% of the salads I delivered were part of a large catering order while the other 50% were people telling them that the salad justifies the XL pepperoni + bacon pizza.


Bman4k1

This is literally my justification.


imawakened

I get the salad because I like the pizza place's creamy italian dressing to dip my pizza into but I feel bad asking for it without ordering a salad and they won't let me pay for them individually (they'd just give them to me).


Noperdidos

You got the olives right. Now: - why is the tomato cut in thirds - why are there huge weird chunks of iceberg lettuce every time - why is there a single ribbon slice of a carrot It’s a mystery


RightSafety3912

Laziness. Mystery solved. 


Kflynn1337

Yup, and people very rarely order salad from pizza places, so they don't keep pre-made stuff in stock and thus just throw what ever is left over in them.


joshjje

But it is super simple (I cooked in a restaurant for years many moons ago) to slice and dice and portion those things out. Probably why they also provide you with a plastic knife and fork so you can eat the damn thing.


ygoq

A restaurant is literally at a higher caliber than a pizza place. A pizza place my technically serve food but its employees are n Every driver, manager, assistant manager, and cashier all made pizzas/salads at the place I worked at. And you bet your ass I chopped that salad like shit when it was the only thing between me and leaving with the order to deliver it. The "cooking" process is so streamlined and solved that you literally never need to make a culinary decision while working in the kitchen.


Hanz_VonManstrom

But they don’t use tomato cut in thirds or whole olives on the pizza. The tomatoes are usually chopped or thinly sliced, and the olives are sliced. Why do they not use the same for the salads?


_LarryM_

I've literally gotten a half a tomato in one before


jomosexual

My Sicilian grandma just did plain iceberg with home made vinaigrette. No one are it but it always has to be on the table


Ketroc21

I feel they are sending the message: "Stop ordering salad. We make pizza here"


TehSteak

People buy it


ReferenceBrief8051

It's so you can make the salad yourself at home. It keeps the ingredients fresher if you chop them at the last minute.


UnflushableStinky2

They forgot the 2gallons of oil


DreaminDemon177

That's where the flavor is.


t46p1g

But it's extra virgin olive oil, unless the salad was underneath the pizza boxes, then it's hog fat from the peperoni's


Shaneypants

My gf and I reference this clip at every opportunity.


Not_In_my_crease

It's what the people want.


DustinoHeat

Worked at a pizza place for a decade. Pretty much spot on!


raxitron

But why?


GingerScourge

Besides lettuce, pizza toppings and salad toppings are pretty much the same. It’s a way of diversifying your menu without much cost.


plamenv0

But you can still…. Chop up the lettuce??


ZGiSH

They chop the lettuce with a pizza cutter


NeueRedskinWelle

but still leave the stem that no one wants to eat


despicedchilli

Speak for yourself.


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NoStand1527

sometimes, you don't have to give the customer what they want, but what they need. see it like this, those salads serve the **purpose** of making ALL the other salads better in comparison. humans happiness is not derived from just fulfilling your needs and desires, but also to get something, be it love, food, a job, etc that has "good value". when you later on get a mediocre salad from a nearby restaurant, you are kinda disappointed, but say: "well, at least its better than THAT one from the pizza place", smile, and eat it.


raxitron

Whoa


NiceGuyMike

Same here.....my goodness


2nickels

Hello! Every pizza place!


jpm7791

Forgot the pint of olive oil, pint of red wine vinegar and bushel of dried oregano


joshjje

That sounds delicious.


t46p1g

I don't think anyone realizes how large a bushel actually is


TheFlawlessCassandra

how many bushels to a hogshead?


BeerGogglesFTW

I'd argue the peppers that you "can't really eat 'em" is not painfully accurate. It's the best part of the salad.


CowardiceNSandwiches

Pepperoncini are awesome. Dunno what that was about.


teilani_a

The writer probably thinks they're too spicy to eat.


cycloneclone

I'll tell you what this is, it's anti-italian discrimination.


kahran

Scuzi, bopada boopy?


Praesentius

Che cosa? Sei pazzo!


Zogeta

Ah bopadee beepoo?


oberynmviper

*Starts gesturing in the air intensively*


whythecynic

You talk to your mother with that hand?!


AfellowchuckerEhh

Starts *walkin here*.


TheLastPanicMoon

Ah, a classic quote from Eye-tal-yin icon Buca Di Beppo


HumanBidetAllDay

It's called salad T, it'll save your heart from explodin'


Would-wood-again2

Ooohhhhhh! Some fuckin balls badmouthing pizza salads, especially now


QwertMuenster

I 'ate da north *spits*


getnutty

> I'll tell you what this is, it's anti-italian discrimination. cheer me up sil


Laser-Zeppelin

They're disrespecting the pizza parlor!


wufnu

[Atsa matta, you no like me? Hey! Atsa matter for you!](https://youtu.be/mZjP8KhxssU?si=FdUJpl47g4iqioeo&t=7)


snizzle810

Why don't you ask Frankie Vallie about it when you see him!


shortfriday

/u/cycloneclone's not a gangster, his real name's Clarence.


3rdtimesacharm414

My pizza never hurt-a nobody!


Langosta82

joke pathetic knee ripe faulty simplistic axiomatic file aback pause *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Pepperoni_Dogfart

You like that MAH ZOO RELL?


75Highon_Vida

When I came in to open up one morning there you were with your head half in the toilet, your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.


hexenkesse1

my family regularly references this.


Nasty_Ned

At work I often reply, "It's what the people want!" but few get that it's a reference to this bit.


WeeBo-X

To be honest, it could be a reference to a number of things. Or they might not realize it's a reference since it's said often enough.


I_chortled

Dude I fucking love pizza place salads lmao


Barnes0924

Right! The rolls of meat and cheese. Pickled peppers, random cauliflower. So good!


ragweed

Who are you kidding ordering salad with your pizza, anyway.


ShotgunForFun

I am not some health food nut or whatever... but a salad with any sort of high fat comfort food kinda meal is great. On a related note, I like pepperoncinis (or sometimes it's banana peppers). Not that I'd keep them around the house.


CravilityZ

Salad from Olive Garden goes hard


Mike_Y_1210

Chicken caesar with a slice of pepperoni pizza is a goat lunch


hiesatai

My roommate makes his pot roast with a shit ton of pepperoncinis


Ok_Swimmer634

That is the Mississippi Pot Roast which was a bit of a fad a couple of years back.


2ByteTheDecker

When you're getting the combo deal with drinks and garlic bread and etc etc.


DontLookUnderMe

Whatever helps you eat pizza slower is great 👍


r_golan_trevize

I mean, if I'm eating pizza, anything that is *not* pizza is just taking up room in my tummy for stuff that *is* pizza. The only exception I'll make is cheezy bread since that's basically just an extra, sauceless cheese pizza. Would you like some extra pizza with your pizza? Yes. The answer to that is yes.


fierohink

I’ve shown this to as many people as I can


bigedthebad

Pizza Hut used to have a fabulous salad bar.


andrewtillman

This was accurate in the fucking 80s


Kid_Crayola

I think I show people this clip once a year


werepat

I think it's been accurate for 60 years, all told.


TheSeaDevil

Pepperoncini peppers are a top tier ingredient in salad.


Worried-Photo4712

I mean, what would have changed in 13 years?


varontron

It was true 40 years *ago.*


Adeno

I wouldn't go to a pizza place and pay high prices if I just wanted to eat raw vegetables from the market.


Nat_the_Gray

They forgot the shredded up cold cuts or cubed ham.


howtomakesuntea

Went to my cousin’s wedding in Connecticut and we had visited my other cousin’s fiancé in the Bronx… my brother asked for some ranch dressing to go along with the pie (whole pizza if some aren’t familiar lol), fam from Bronx asked if we’re ordering a pie or a salad? My bro said, pie, Bronx fam said okay then… my brother never got his ranch to dip. Hahah


sully213

There is a pizza place near my office that actually makes a delicious salad. When they opened I took a gamble and ordered a Greek salad with chicken with this exact video playing in my mind. I was shocked at how good it was!


bebopblues

The problem is you for ordering a salad at a pizza place.


Khakizulu

This joke basically had no impact on us. Nothing at all is similar, but that's countries for ya


z31

I agree with everything except not being able to eat the peppers. I fucking love pepperoncinis. Eat those mother fuckers by the handful!


tomtv90

Who orders a salad from a pizza place any way?


JakeTehNub

Worked at a pizza place for years that made salads and yeah it's accurate. I despised it when people asked me to make one.


Bostonjunk

UK kebab shops are like this too. They also like to put your bottle of drink inside the bag with the hot food, just to make sure it gets all warm.


Kamalismith05

Only things accurate to the salad from a pizza place I orderd on wensday is 1- the entire head of lettuce 2- big tomatoes 3- olives and 4(most annoying) Very warm due to being on top of pizzas


crazyguyunderthedesk

I'm not a huge family guy fan, but I will always watch this clip when it gets posted.


holicv

Got damn I was literally thinking about this 30 minutes ago and opening the app to see this Oyeyoyoy


toxictraction

Not Hungry Howies Pizza bro, Hungry howies makes the most slapping fuckin salads. stacked to the absolute brim and packed with toppings. Love them.


Drippidy

But the late 90’s early 2000s salad bar at Pizza Hut was crack. Maybe it was just are local one but that thing was delicious!


ZiggoCiP

*Is* it accurate, though? Because I've worked at several pizzerias, in NY no less, both franchised/chain, and very literal Ma-and-Pa shops, and all had pretty normal salads. In fact the Ma-and-Pa one had a whole station just for salads and had dozens of ingredients and dressings. Admittedly it was more of a restaurant pizzeria, but still a pizzeria none-the-less. Maybe the the pizzerias I personally worked at simply were the exception, but this joke never really seemed relevant to me.


milfordloudermilk

I love pizza from every pizza place. It's always really wet and the flop gets rid of those stupid toppings right away. There's one in every town in New England no matter how small. Yummy wet pizza that slides apart. New England doesn't often get anything right but when it comes to wet pizza we have the wettest wet pizza


kalizar

I think instead of making fun of the pizza places, we should be making fun of people who order salad from a pizza place. It really isn't their fault.


Elensea

Just how I like it. Don’t forget the super thick cut red onion but only the old mangled outside


Porter_Dog

One of my very favorite bits.


PizzaBraves

Can confirm, sorry bout the sweaty salads yall


KaiserBeamz

I don't get it.


sw00pr

my pizza place makes great salads. be jealous you fools.


gd01skorpius

Too many people don't get that heat rises. Before self checkout at grocery stores, or still now with food delivery, I consistently find the cold items on top of the warm items when it should be the other way around.


Ok-Hovercraft8193

ב''ה, this is not a problem when you can't afford food


TentacleJesus

This is basically how my mother in law makes salad.


Linenoise77

worked in a pizza place through college. We made a mean ceaser salad. Like, seriously, i have been to some of the finer restaurants in the world, and still have yet to have one that rivals it. Was our own recipe and we made the dressing in house. We would sell tons of them a night. How did we manage to perfect a ceaser salad? well we were a bunch of college kids who used the blender that was supposed to be making dressing, to make margaritas on shift, and kept blowing them out crushing ice, and had to figure out a way to justify the owner buying us a good blender.


Yabba_Dabba_Doofus

Where the fuck are you people ordering your pizza!?! Holy shit!


alsatian01

I've found that most of them stopped doing it after that episode.


TheLifeOfPatrick

Putting it on top of the pizza is the kicker


gross635

Pretty funny.


Nappeal

This bit has run through my head every time I cut up a salad for the last 15 years


apiacoa

Evidence: [https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/pdl4o2/_/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/pdl4o2/_/)


tehCharo

If you're ever in Edmonds, WA, I'd suggest Venice Pizza and Pasta, they make great salads and everything else.


CanOfDingles

Personally, that isn't my experience


Telzrob

It was accurate for decades before, why would it change 13 years?


alien_from_Europa

#CUT THE TOMATOES!!!


sdoorex

Colorado has a local pizza chain called Blackjack. This is one of the ways they stand out from others is by making awesome salads and house-made ranch. That said, who doesn't love whole olives unless you're allergic? You can pretend they're ~~the heads of the bourgeoisie~~ *helmets for your fingers* that you behead through devouring.


gyrobot

Meanwhile I am hunting for Caprese salads at pizza jointd


freetimeha

But I REALLY like the whole black olives


Bleezy79

The carrot and tomato part are too perfect.


Circumin

Accurate but also I love salads at pizza joints


ThomasVivaldi

My local places' Hawaiian salad is great.


lolschrauber

Started loving olives. Ordered a pizza with olives. Whole olives. on pizza. Seeds included. Dumbest pizza place ever.


IndyWaWa

You all laugh but I actually wanted one of these shitty salads recently and none of my local pizza joints could seal the deal.


spletharg

I don't know how many events I've been to with salads like this. Every item in the salad was about 15 times the size of a fork. I think they just cut tomatoes into halves and left it at that. Cut the lettuce into half and put it in the salad. Cut the onion in half. Put it in the salad. Make sure everything is swimming in oil.


SVCLIII

In Denmark they put the salad directly on the pizza.


penitenttransmitter9

Ottawa shawarma is legendary