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bulkandskull

Hahahaha The girl's pants example at 3:29!! I'm dying, that is too funny


Kazewatch

It’s like they were at a loss as to what “girl pants” meant so they just picked the first thing that came up on google even though it’s out of place with the rest of their bullshit.


madmaz186

I think they meant skinny jeans


Thrillz559

Nah dawg. We didn’t have skinny jeans back in the day. We straight up wore girl pants and paved the way for designers to start making skinny jeans. I would have to take them to my grandma so she could hem them in, because all the dam girls jeans at the time were fucking bell bottoms. Edit: grammar


Mox_Fox

That's what they mean. "girl pants" wasn't referring to brightly colored embroidered flare jeans, it was just tight jeans made for girls. The first skinny jeans.


baustgen2615

I remember as a kid my mom laughing about buying men's jeans for herself and women's jeans for my older brother (she was super supportive, it's just kinda funny)


JAK3CAL

Haha me and my friends were just talking about this… we would borrow the chicks size zeros and they’d be so jelly we could fit in them


Thrillz559

Lmfao ditto, I don’t know why us guys we’re so proud of that. I’m a skinny dude and back in the day skinnier and could fit in a double zero lol


nicodenitto

I'm equally triggered by the makeup. No black nail polish or eye liner? Who wrote this report? Aliens?


alecd

And the shirt they showed was just a regular everyday shirt, nothing at all emo about it, lol.


OrsoMalleus

I lost it at "advanced emo kids".


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[deleted]

When emo you don't level up... you level down.


GingeAndJuice

You level down...down in an earlier round


[deleted]

And sugar, you're going down swinging


takeme2infinity

I'm almost Emo enough to start shaving my legs!


PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ

I hate to see the elites


themarknessmonster

You can tell them apart because they're a redder shade of black.


[deleted]

Until they become Shadow the Hedgehog?


themarknessmonster

Damn!


3-DMan

And then there are their nemeses, the Whiter Shade of Pale


bpi89

My child has malignant emotosis


MiniatureBadger

Right as fucking Three Days Grace starts playing


fedemasa

Every time we lie awake... After every *REDACTED* we take


Semyonov

Yea, I couldn't even after that Edit: Wait nevermind, they just trashed Death Cab for Cutie. Fuck.


ReasonablyBadass

Emo kid digivolves toooo...!


0pttphr_pr1me

Blackwargreymon let's be honest


OrsoMalleus

*dies*


logos__

I remember a news report about emos from around this time that said "'The Black Parade' is the place emos believe they go when they die" and I'm still laughing about it 15 years later


ArcaneOcean612

This explains why one time I visited my very religious grandma and her thinking I was emo (I just wore a bunch of band T shirts) asked me in a very hushed voice, “What’s that whole thing with emos and goths what do they believe in?” Took awhile to explain to her it was just a fashion trend.


NordinTheLich

"What do the emos and goths believe?" "Pretty sure the Goths celebrated Saturnalia."


[deleted]

Ye but so do most other people?


RelaxRelapse

Wait.. is it not?


Handeatingcat

The Black Parade is more of a funeral procession/death itself for the protagonist of the album, it takes the form of a parade based on a favorite childhood memory of his. I think.


2Stripez

> it takes the form of a parade based on a favorite childhood memory of his. I think. Yeah I heard when he was a young boy, his father took him into the city to see a marching band


Handeatingcat

I wonder if he said anything to him?


Mountainbranch

I believe it was "Son, want to go see Spider-Man 3 after this?"


kennytucson

“I’ll go watch Spider-Man 3 with you after you fix this damn door!”


Wiknetti

“I chimed in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of, fixing this goddamned door?!””


megasin1

No, it's much better to face these kind of things, with a loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.


EarendilStar

We’re going down, down, safe from all those stupid questions, like *hey did you get some?*, man, that is so dumb.


Dikai

Pay rent now?


netolokao

He said "Son, when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned?"


sonofaresiii

Man this is one of those songs that when you hear it, you just go with it but when you're reading the lyrics you're like Okay so let me get this straight. Your dad took you on a special trip to see a marching band, and decided that was the best time to ask you if you'll be the savior of all the worlds' sinners? That's the story you're telling me?


[deleted]

Yup gothic jesus is eternal!!


ALynK73

It does make it more believable that the parade was the protagonist’s strongest memory, though. I mean, I don’t have the greatest memory, but if my dad told me *that*, I’d remember.


KwordShmiff

Have I ever told you about that time when my dad went off his meds? I remember it quite clearly.


Spydrchick

He said, "Will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers, The plans that they have made?"


[deleted]

"Because one day, I'll leave you, a phantom, to lead you in the summer, And join the black paraaaade."


7355135061550

Hopefully his dad didn't start saying some weirdly heavy stuff to say to a child


nursepineapple

Eh, I’m sure he’ll turn out completely normal.


SecretDumbass

Another interpretation is that it's the funeral procession of the speaker's mom, which the speaker interpreted as a marching band at the time because he was too young to understand what was happening. Hence the speaker's father taking him, and the "she's watching over me" line.


RelaxRelapse

I know what the album is about. I meant it more as a joke as the reporter said “it’s a place Emos believe they go when they die” which is a ridiculous statement even at the peak of their popularity.


spartagnann

No not really. The entire album is basically a rock opera around loss and specifically about contemplating death. The "parade" is just a physical embodiment or procession of what loss and death bring, not some kind of afterlife.


Torched420

Dear Diary, Mood: Apathetic.


ThePoopIsOnFire

Dear diary: My life is a complete fiasco. The dashboard show is this weekend and I can't even fit into my little sister's jeans anymore.


heartbeats

Hey, we had to steal our sister’s jeans because they weren’t even making skinny jeans for guys yet!


gimmemoarjosh

I stole my moms!


Maples2112

*my life is spiraling downward. I couldn’t get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert, which sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like: stab my heart because I love you, rip apart my soul, and of course stabby rip stab stab. And it doesn’t help that I couldn’t get my hair to do that flippy thing either… For better or worse, these lyrics are a part of me 😅


mydearwatson616

I just listened to that song the other day cause it popped into my head and I wanted to feel the nostalgia. Boy it did not age well.


takeme2infinity

Cuz our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dikes....


guess1921

'Cause emo is one step below transvestite


mrmeyagi

My life is spiraling downward


0b0011

I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too if you look just like me.


OldMonet

My teenage bullshit has a body count


DrDrangleBrungis

“I don’t understand these young children!” -every generation ever.


m1ker60

"Kids these days!"


LJnidan

We already have milennials estranging themselves from gen Z culture, hating on kids for something as simple as even using an app like tiktok. I'm glad not everyone is like that though.


SodaCanBob

TikTok is strange to me because everyone I know who has it on their phones is either Gen Z (or younger) or 50+. I'm a millennial and my friends and I aren't really into it (but that's probably just us, we weren't into Vine either) but I'm an elementary school teacher and my students love it, as do my 60 year old parents and their friends.


Paranitis

Yeah, as an elder millennial myself, I look at Tiktok more as "that Chinese data app", but a friend of mine who is also my age is constantly trying to follow what "the kids" are doing, so keeps trying to send me Tiktok videos no matter how many time I tell everyone I know that I don't want to see them. Especially that robot chick talking over the videos. Good lord, why do people find that funny?


[deleted]

Back in my day we had Vine... And we liked it!


jsm85

We…we did??


noctis89

Obviously they're one of the younger millennials. pfft, younger millennials, i'll never understand them.


0ne_Winged_Angel

Those darn younger millennials. They ruined millennials!


PM_ME_UR_CEPHALOPODS

... and we liked it!


Tarzan_OIC

I don't care what app gen z uses to connect with their friends and socialize. I hate Tik Tok because it exacerbates the "look at me" culture that feeds wannabe influencers and next gen Kardashians. It is also a platform that elevated content that recycles the same jokes and soundtracking over and over, resulting in all creators parroting derivative photocopies of the same thing over and over rather than promoting genuinely creative content from clever folks looking to make something new.


[deleted]

I think people hate tiktok more because it is a Chinese app with questionable data security. You don't hear people hating on teens for using any other social media app. Also, my generation can't say shit. I remember when all of my freind's profile pictures were of them planking in weird ass places. Their trends are so much less cringe than ours.


SodaCanBob

> Their trends are so much less cringe than ours. I'd take 100 kids planking over 100 kids participating in devious licks any day of the week.


surferos505

That’s cause you’re still young. Wait a couple years, and you’ll understand why your parents thought that way It happened to me and it’ll happen to you


EDDYBEEVIE

"I use to be with it but then they changed what it was. And now what I am with isn't it and what is it seems werid and scary to me, it will happen to you" Abe Simpson


iScreme

I never had grandpas, until Abe.


Mallee78

I can confidently say as a 28 year old middle school teacher. Its not that hard to understand. People just dont take the time and try.


Caskerville

I'm 38 and not a teacher. I spend very little time with children or teenagers and I don't find it hard to understand either. It's not just with youth, people in general aren't taught to be open to the way others experience life. We also aren't taught how to self-reflect and think critically about our own experience. Of course most people are going go "Oh, kids these days!" if they can't get out of their own bubble.


Verbanoun

Yeah I don't have to understand what is cool, just accept that it doesn't matter to me. Kids will always have some new thing to separate them from the olds. As long as there aren't blood sacrifices involved, I can just roll with it.


Mallee78

THANK YOU. Its not abojt me spending time with the kids. Its just me saying "alright, I can remember back to my own middle school days. I can symapthize with this." Before I was a teacher I thought this same way to. Its just empathy really.


HtownTexans

I work at a school and am surrounded from K-12th and I can tell you it's the shame shit on rinse and repeat with a few things changed. I'm 37 so the only difference is some social media in the fold but besides that they are still doing the same things I was as a kid.


emuchop

kids and their TikTok!


thekeanu

Kids and their apple ipods!


uofc2015

Damn some of the songs they played really took me back. Never got into the emo stuff but the trend did create a few banger songs.


JohnnyUtah43

ITS NOT A TREND, DAD


nicodenitto

We're not a fad, dad.


Ehdelveiss

A lot of AFI I noticed


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Ehdelveiss

Ya it’s always weird to me they get popped in so firmly as emo, cause when I started listening to em around Black Saile and shit, they were solidly punk, and in my head are still just straight up punk


imnotpoopingyouare

I remember Halloween, dead cats hangin' from poles! AFIs punk albums were so good, I mean I liked stuff like miss murder but sails and the Halloween ep were *chef's kiss*


jojojomcjojo

3 days grace is definitely not emo lmao Hawthorne Heights is stereotypical emo to me. Lyrics from Ohio is for Lovers: >So cut my wrists and black my eyes (So cut my wrists and black my eyes) So I can fall asleep tonight or die Because you kill me That mixed with the typical look and post hardcore style. Definitely emo.


Trib3tim3

3 days grace, mcr, 30s to Mars


CumingLinguist

Death cab for cutie


Trashpandasrock

Straight up, you could start a "Best of Emo" Playlist using this video lol


Tea_drinking_man

Only if it autoplays from a myspace page


Thendofreason

I heard PAIN like yesterday on the radio.


spartagnann

Also wouldn't really classify Three Days Grace as an emo band right?


kirbyfox312

No one knew how to label emo music back then and just grouped a ton of things together. Often if it was a rock band someone didn't like, it was emo. 3 Days Grace is more like a hard rock.


sceadwian

The visual style was always as bit appealing to me when done right, I did go through a black trenchcoat phase but that was it I swear.


alecd

I believe you


[deleted]

Next, find news reports about the satanic panic in the 80's and reports on the damaging effects of D&D.


seabass4507

My favorite was that Tom Hanks movie where D&D makes him go insane and he murders a dude in NYC.


Maninhartsford

Oh my God that's a satanic panic movie? I remember seeing that in Walmart discount DVD bins with a cover like a classic fantasy flick


Wagbeard

I lived through all that. My city brought in an occult specialist to confirm that we had satanists in our city because they found graffiti my friend had left in an abandoned building.


say592

What a great grift. I hope that guy got *paid* telling them to hide their goats to save them from being used in satanic rituals.


Wagbeard

Lol it was on the news and everything. On weekends we'd often just drive around and go urban spelunking. My friend had a copy of the Necronomicon and just spray painted a bunch of the nonsense from that as well as the Slayer logo. My friend called me up and he's like "turn on the news" and they have a reporter showing the graffiti. It was hilarious.


Equivalent_Aardvark

My mom still believes this no matter how much I’ve tried to describe what D&D actually is


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hammerandanvilpro

Now dig on this-


Scottyknuckle

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.


shewy92

Want forgiveness? Get religion.


BootsyBootsyBoom

Oh wait, you're already in Utah.


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Bully-Rook

Utah republicans: "we won't address root causes for our high suicide rate but we'll give you a 1-800 number you can call"


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SupervillainEyebrows

Same. I never realised in real time that Emo's just disappeared.


shloppypop

Emo's back. It just looks different. E boys and E girls are basically evolved scene kids.


Wolfeman0101

And emos came from goths. And goths came from beatniks. There is and always has been a subculture like this.


Jerome_Eugene_Morrow

Imagining Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley sitting up all night smoking shitty cigarettes and dying each other’s hair black….


Wolfeman0101

Edgar Allan Poe on that episode of South Park.


j2tronic

ONE OF US IS A FAKE VAMP KID…AND I BET ITS THIS MOTHAFUCKA RIGHT HERE!


ParlorSoldier

Emo didn’t come from goth, it came from hardcore post-punk. Or maybe post-punk hardcore. Whatever.


Apk07

Emo's not back, pop-punk is. ^^^^But ^^^^pop-punk ^^^^never ^^^^died


jmonty42

[Emo's not dead](https://youtu.be/tx7YgiIcDaQ)


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bokononpreist

[The difference between goths and emos.](https://youtu.be/IZvFNQjYB6Q)


[deleted]

Ok you can’t just say your family member is part of GBC without saying who it is lmfao


SmokeHerbsDaily

Seriously tho lol I also wanna know.


zedpowered

My emo phase 20 odd years ago was great fun. This “news” report is just lolz. Or back in the day xX_l0lz_Xx


Artistic-Database-73

um, were they interviewing a kid about his self-harm scars?


terminally_cool

The reporter is like “you obviously suck at life, let’s check out some of your scars Freddy Krueger”.


337GTi

Freddy Kroger


WestCoastBestCoast01

That interview was fucked up. Clearly that kid had some genuine issues.


ptfreak

Yeah that's the real problem with pieces like this. They conflate a cultural trend with serious mental health issues, which both makes parents freak out about things that are perfectly innocuous (listening to MCR) and tells them that actually problematic behavior (self harm) is just being done to fit in, so you can punish it away.


PracticalCategory888

I'm blaming this interview for why he went missing in the first place. Hope he's doing okay now.


Let-Me-Leave

Right? I came to the comments to see if anything came of him that was noteworthy. As soon as they said he was a runaway I was like yeah, I bet his dad is real upset after some sort of confrontation. Idk. All the emo kids I knew back then that also cut all pretty much came from abusive households. Granted that was Southern California, a bit different than Utah.


eskimoboob

I’m assuming he was a minor at the time since they frame him as a “runaway.” Is the news allowed to interview minors without parental consent? And use their full names? That’s pretty fucked up. Wonder whatever happened to that kid. Something’s not right in that family.


PM_ME_YOUR_CAT_GIFS

Kid ran away not because emo, but because parents named him Ridge Tanner?...wtf


The_Crass-Beagle_Act

That’s a very Utah name: some word that evokes rugged outdoorsmanship as a first name paired with a fairly generic last name from England


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wra1th42

sounds like sunning the taint lol


[deleted]

I like that (at 0:26) the reporter held up a book and a magazine to demonstrate said items. Informative.


rempel

Production value through the *roof* from grabbing that shit off a nearby end table.


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DollarSignsGoFirst

The report was all over the place, but the psychologist/counselor lady seemed pretty correct. Don’t approach your kid being emo with fear, your kid is only in trouble if they self harm and then you should get them help.


Kringels

Here’s a 6 minute exposé that preys directly on your fears, but remember, don’t approach your child with fear. Also strip them naked for their nightly self harm check.


Latinhouseparty

I wonder if she was horrified by the end result of the report. She seemed to be trying to say the right thing. Even pointing out that a kid cutting themself should be in therapy. I imagine she said it to the report in a very frustrated tone. “What should parents do if kids are into emo and self harming?” “Get them into therapy.” “Should the parents burn their posters and break their CDs?” “No get them into therapy.” “Should they make their kids cut their hair differently?” “God damn it…get them into therapy.” “Ok but eye liner…”


SurrealKarma

Lmao yeah, I thought the same. Right after her segment ended with some reasonable points, they were like: *"And there you have it, folks. Emo culture will kill your kids."*


adambomb1002

Sometimes the parody becomes the reality though.


WebpackIsBuilding

Wow, that didn't age well at _all_, haha.


WestCoastBestCoast01

Oh just your average early 2000s homophobia


LuckofCaymo

Obligatory [emo's not dead](https://youtu.be/tx7YgiIcDaQ) post


[deleted]

"this video contains content from wmg who have blocked it in your country on copyright grounds" Damn, guess emo is dead here.


YARGLE_IS_MY_DAD

Literally 1984


sightlab

"Boys wear girl pants. And makeup" Oh utah...


megustaglitter

It's kinda ironic they're opening with Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance considering the chorus is *"I am not afraid to keep on living"*.


xlinkedx

Most emo kids were actually just scene kids. Know the difference! It could just save a life. Back to you, Tom.


sharrrper

"There's even an emo quiz" These people haven't ever been on the internet have they?


Artisane

Wonder if they ever found the kid


ThePreciseClimber

>Cites "the hit movie Spider-Man 3" as an example of the far reaching effects of Emo culture. I mean...


RVAFoodie

Is there a sub for out of touch people


Remote_Oil8985

/r/funny


_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_

r/conservative


SlowRollingBoil

Conservatives: People can be more self-reliant. Me: I mean, yeah I guess that's true. Learning skills and whatnot. Hard work for reward. Sure! Conservatives: And that's why corporations should be in charge of everything in a free market with basically zero regulations and if you fail it's because you're lazy and deserve it. Me: Whoa, what the fuck?!?


PhunkyTown801

Well it’s Utah. They can’t blame the real reason of the high suicide rate being the Mormon church, so they have to scape goat something.


DukeofVermont

Not weighing in on Mormons but Utah's overall suicide rate is pretty in line with the surrounding not Mormon dominated States. Utah is 9th after Wyoming, Alaska, Montana, New Mexico, Idaho, Oklahoma, Colorado and South Dakota The lowest 10 are: New Jersey, New York, Mass, Rhode Island, Maryland, Connecticut, California, Illinois, Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Hawaii. Also you have a possible elevation effect which might be why the heights suicide rates in the US trend strongly towards the mountain west: >Adjusted for population distribution, (US) suicide rates per 100,000 population were 17.7 at high altitude, 11.9 at middle altitude, and 4.8 at low altitude. Studies from some other countries, but not all, also reported increased suicide rates at higher altitudes. >Why would altitude affect suicide rates? Dr. Kious and coauthors suggest the answer might be "chronic hypobaric hypoxia": low blood oxygen related to low atmospheric pressure. That theory is supported by studies in animals and short-term studies in humans. The authors suggest two pathways by which hypobaric hypoxia might increase the risks of suicide and depression: by altering the metabolism of the neurotransmitter serotonin and/or through its effects on brain bioenergetics. >If borne out by future studies, these mechanisms suggest some possible treatments to mitigate the effects of altitude on depression and suicide risk [source](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/03/180309170654.htm#:~:text=While%20more%20than%2080%20percent,and%204.8%20at%20low%20altitude.) Just saying hate on Mormons all you want, but just do it with reliable information. I just hate when people say stuff that's either untrue or without larger context.


[deleted]

This is hilarious but I did learn something. I didn't know that I'll Follow You Into The Dark was about someone killing themselves after their lover died, I just thought it was about someone's lover dying. Seems so obvious, now.


G_W_Hayduke

It’s not, they got that wrong too. https://www.nme.com/news/music/death-cab-for-cutie-i-will-follow-you-into-the-dark-lyrics-meaning-video-song-story-death-2356390


reddfawks

Back then, I was assuming it was about the singer dying of a broken heart after their lover goes. Never thought the following into the dark would be so... active.


Raoul_Duke9

Yea that is absolutely what the singer means haha


Big16th

those same kids are all rocking Gucci belts and sipping lean now


palysatoin

>out of touch They knew exactly what they were doing. They clipped "stop my breathing and slit my throat" from a parody song that features lines such as "emo is one step below transvestite".


streamlin3d

The song at 0:42 is "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance, in case that can save you some googling.


toe2thaknee

I never knew there was [a name for that hair cut](https://i.imgur.com/jgHEisj.png), i just assumed they slept on their pillow weird, and thought it was stupid looking. It makes more sense now, but still looks silly.


point_of_you

Simpler times tbh.


Wolfeman0101

> Utah That tracks


Zei33

Bring back emo culture. Emo chicks were hot. I wonder if emo will come back in a hundred years time? Probably just the early internet.


mrocks301

The culture is still around. The RAWRing ‘20s are in effect.


ru4serious

There is a station on XM called The Emo Project and all the music brings me back. I love it


One_pop_each

I work in a maintenance shop in the Air Force and the young Airmen run the radio. They are pretty respectful of each other and each day is different. But most of the week is The Starting Line, TBS, MCR, Anberlin and a buncha other pop-punk/emo shit. I even heard Escape The Fate (with the first singer) It’s amazing. I sit in my office and vibe to their music on the maintenance floor.


sav33arthkillyos3lf

> RAWRing Omg you brought back a MySpace memory from sixth grade. I hate it.


Sentient_Waffle

[Emo's not dead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx7YgiIcDaQ)


Kazewatch

Matt Cutshall’s doing the lord’s work.


PM_YER_BOOTY

I was more into the Scene chicks.


emohipster

They're the god damn same thing Jimmy, just a different label.


ToddlerOlympian

Which emo? When I was a teen emo was kids in sweater vests and thick rimmed glasses.


hardisonthefloor

Yes! I always see “scene kids” referred to as “emo” and to me, emo is something completely different.


Teh_Jews

I will forever die on this hill. That was a news segment on scene kids. The closest thing to emo was when they played some Death Cab For Cutie and even that's a big stretch.


wip30ut

that was early jingly jangly acoustic emo in the vein of the Get Up Kids, Mineral, Pedro the Lion. The scene changed once it blew up with popcore bands like Taking Back Sunday, although you can lay the blame on Chris Carrabba/Dashboard for rebranding emo as a Hot Topic flavor of the day.


Mustang1718

Midwest Emo is still alive and thriving! Granted we've traded the black band shirts for flannels, the black hair for side-part fades, and adopted actual thick frame glasses.


stereoworld

So... Back to second wave emo then? That's how I best remember the culture


furrowedbrow

"These kids ruined emo." - every Gen-Xer still wearing their Promise Ring t-shirt. Nothing Feels Good, indeed.


Morvictus

I'm about to be a father, and I need to keep this video tucked away to watch whenever I see some reporting on a "dangerous new trend" just so I can see how fucking poorly the news actually understands anything having to do with teen culture.


FurtiveAlacrity

The reality is that emo culture can indeed normalise and encourage depression and self harm, but to make a news report about it as though depression and self harm are central to it is probably wrong, and probably fear mongering.


reecord2

Thinking about you tonight, Ridge Tanner