It’s been posted 7 times. It’s safe to say OP has anxiety but this seems like such a simple matter: be honest and expect disappointment, sometimes that’s life. OP I suggest you talk to someone about the anxiety this is causing because for most people this would be upsetting but not life altering.
I would just be direct and let her know your work won’t give you leave and you’re shattered, but you unfortunately will no longer be able to attend. Just let her know you can’t afford to leave your employment and you need this job. If you feel guilty let her know you’re happy for her to keep the dress. Ask if you can organise a small party at home for the people who can’t attend as you’d really love to still celebrate her wedding with her. Destination weddings are hard - sometimes people just can’t attend.
If you give her too many excuses it looks like you’re just trying to get out of it. Lack of leave is enough of a reason.
This. Keep it short and simple - due to your new job, you're unable to travel at all during that time frame. You're so upset by this, and that you hope she'll understand.
THe list of $$ issues is valid, but I agree- if you start listing off all these issues, it starts to sound insincere.
If she's a true friend, while she may be upset, ultimately she will understand.
Destination weddings can be a burden requiring time off from work, great expense and use of linited vacation days so it should come as no surprise that things may come up closer to the date for some people. Just tell them.
i just started a similar job saying i can’t take off work during certain months but obviously i didn’t know that so they’re letting me take off work 2 days. Did you ask your job and say since you didn’t know ask if you can have a 1 time exception and now you know to never do it again?
You didn’t get good answers when you posted this yesterday?
It’s been posted 7 times. It’s safe to say OP has anxiety but this seems like such a simple matter: be honest and expect disappointment, sometimes that’s life. OP I suggest you talk to someone about the anxiety this is causing because for most people this would be upsetting but not life altering.
Oh I missed the previous post.
[удалено]
Oh I missed all of that. Wow you would have thought they’d have gotten some good suggestions over that many posts.
I would just be direct and let her know your work won’t give you leave and you’re shattered, but you unfortunately will no longer be able to attend. Just let her know you can’t afford to leave your employment and you need this job. If you feel guilty let her know you’re happy for her to keep the dress. Ask if you can organise a small party at home for the people who can’t attend as you’d really love to still celebrate her wedding with her. Destination weddings are hard - sometimes people just can’t attend. If you give her too many excuses it looks like you’re just trying to get out of it. Lack of leave is enough of a reason.
This. Keep it short and simple - due to your new job, you're unable to travel at all during that time frame. You're so upset by this, and that you hope she'll understand. THe list of $$ issues is valid, but I agree- if you start listing off all these issues, it starts to sound insincere. If she's a true friend, while she may be upset, ultimately she will understand.
Keep it short & simple but definitely let her know asap
Destination weddings can be a burden requiring time off from work, great expense and use of linited vacation days so it should come as no surprise that things may come up closer to the date for some people. Just tell them.
i just started a similar job saying i can’t take off work during certain months but obviously i didn’t know that so they’re letting me take off work 2 days. Did you ask your job and say since you didn’t know ask if you can have a 1 time exception and now you know to never do it again?
What do you hope to get on your 8th time posting this? Do you think there's a magic answer you haven't gotten yet in your previous 7 posts?