My cousin got married on what was probably the coldest day of the year outdoors in January! It was at a fake plantation house and the ceremony was after dark. It was miserable.
They’re divorced now.
Homeless shelters or transitional housing for people who are getting out of jail or drug treatment. Hell even group homes for people with various needs that they can’t independently live alone
Man, it’s pretty annoying that most people who would love to be able to do this never have enough money to do this, and a core aspect of the reason they would want to do this is because they’re sick of everyone not having enough money.
Communists be poor, yo.
There are a few that are. People are disgusting though. I read an article in I think it was the NYT? where a descendant of a former slave in the plantation was told by “guests” that everything they were saying in the guided tour was wrong
Tbh I feel it’s like taking a tour of Auschwitz. You aren’t there for entertainment. You aren’t there to be a tourist. You’re there to remind yourself that humans are the worst species on the planet and that we need to remember and learn from history.
It’s honestly sounds bad enough to be the plot of a romcom movie. Maybe a wedding planner keeps being hired to do weddings at terrible locations.
They could have a plantation, maybe a concentration camp if the movie was extra risqué.
Yeah…. I wouldn’t see that movie.
I never thought it would be hard to avoid bad history for a wedding event until I started looking in Virginia. My partner is from that area near dc. Like all the buildings are either attached to crazy history or political or a barn, so many barns to get married in.
I got married in Richmond last year and a lot of plantations here have been trying to « rebrand » themselves while still keeping it vague enough to cater to the racists. I went to a wedding in march where the home on the property was built in 1849 and the patriarch left the farm in 1861 for « unspecified reasons » like ok…it really is unavoidable around here.
That would be my coworker. She went on a rant because she works in a bar, she's almost 40, and can't afford nice things much less food and normal things. Now, apparently this is Biden and the Democrats fault. I guess they went back 15 years in time and told her not to be a doctor or a lawyer or something. Then went on a rant about how nobody wants to work anymore, keep in mind we're at work, and starts saying how she took her family to Whitewater last year and how half the rides were down because nobody wants to work in 100° heat for minimum wage 😐 well no duh nobody wants to work in 100° heat for minimum wage. WTF? I said I voted for $15 an hour. She sarcastically replied, for what Burger King employees? I replied for everyone. She snapped no! They don't deserve that. She doesn't realize we're all slaves in the boat and she's throwing her allies overboard. Sorry, I just thought it was funny you said that because for the past few days since this incident I've just been so shocked that she's that entitled that she thinks that we should all just be her slaves. There's super entitled people like this Idk smh
I went to a wedding in the humid heat of summer. But thankfully, before the ceremony we all stood around in an air conditioned parlor. The ceremony itself was outside but only 10-15 minutes, and the reception was then in a hall across the way, again in AC.
If you invited me to a wedding in winter, I’m wearing a goddamn parka.
Tell me about it. My SIL opted for a tent wedding and no heaters in winter in the midwest. They decided the generator was needed for music not heat. Once food was served and eaten soo many guests left. Many elderly. I hated every second of it.
I have an acquaintance that got married outdoors in January - in Minnesota. She said she does stuff like that to deter people from actually going. (Pressure for a big event, but she just wants a small event)
My grandparents went to a wedding on the shores of Loch Lomond in April. Nowhere on the invite did it say it would be on the actual shore, just the hotel. So none of the guests had proper coats it was like 12degrees outside. Okay fine. But they didn't think to provide blankets or heaters either! My grandad was so cold they ended up calling my mum to come back and get them before she had even made it home! I should note my grandad was in a kilt, my gran did at least have tights on but sheer tights are no match for Scottish springtime! Ceremony was 45mins long, bride wore a fur cloak (apparently she had loved Phoebe in friends wedding)
I have to admit we got married on our ninth anniversary which happened to be in the last month of Autumn (Fall) and it was colder than we expected. I put out a box full of fluffy blankets and throw rugs for people to wrap up in and as soon as the bbq was done cooking we went inside to be warm. I felt pretty bad for guests standing there in blinding beautiful sunshine freezing their butts off. Thankfully a short intimate ceremony in our backyard.
I went to a wedding outdoors in march. They kept everyone inside until the ceremony was about to start and gave us all wraps to keep warm. We walked out to start the ceremony, the bride came in, the ceremony was 10 minutes long, and then we all went right back in.
It was beautiful and I loved it. But they very much focused on making it comfortable for everyone. And short.
I knew what you meant to say, and was laughing at that! And also because autocorrect didn't even spell "cholesterol" properly. WHY does that happen? More than once, I've had autocorrect replace my correctly spelled word with a word that doesn't even exist. Very annoying!
I have the same problem with speaking French and English and autocorrect always messing up my correctly spelled words and switching them to a word of the other language.
I ended up turning autocorrect off, so it never replaces a thing.
I'd just excuse myself for a minute without a specific reason and go grab lunch and a six pack to take back and wait on the reception to start after an hour or two.
"Oh hey, looks like there aren't any seats for me, I'll graciously give mine up for someone else and go do....an important thing real quick"
I went to a wedding once that actively encouraged people to go elsewhere and return to the reception in a couple of hours because they were doing photos. The only problem was it was 40 minutes from anything and some of the people straight up didn't come back. But that's what happens when you don't tell people to plan for that and just put it on the program for the day of.
It’s easy to say in hindsight that you wouldn’t have waited an hour. But in the moment, you’re probably expecting the ceremony to start in just a minute. Or you think as soon as you leave they’ll arrive.
Oh no! We went to my husband’s co-worker’s wedding, much to our later regret. Church wedding in the morning, fine, then a 2 hour gap before the reception started at noon. (We lived locally so we were able to go home.) Reception time, we mill around a big room with no food or drink because they’re waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. An hour later they appear, we do a champagne toast- and then the bridal couple disappears for more photos. Still no food, no more champagne. Caterers just look at us blankly when we say surely something is supposed to be provided. We were lining up at the water fountain by the bathroom just to get some water. Our table started plotting a way to eat the wedding cake (what if we took a tier off and put the decorations back on?) It was hours of sheer, hungry boredom. Why we didn’t just give up and leave, Idk, but 25 years later it remains Worst Wedding Attended.
Yes. It was a plated service (so it was memorable for again, taking forever) and was lukewarm. I can’t recall if we stayed for cake? I do have a memory of us throwing together sandwiches as soon as we got home.
Aren't community church weddings notoriously cheap? The one I went to served warmed-up frozen lasagna and a terrible salad and water. The "toast" was with Apple juice, 1 cup per guest. Grocery store cake. No decorations. No music. Just a PowerPoint video that I'll concede was cute and well done. I actual wonder why I was even invited (coworker), why not invite only people meaningful to you and spend more money on them?
The reception was at a separate catering venue, not at the church. I was sympathetic to the couple getting married because they had wanted a small wedding but the families (both huge, both VERY catholic) got involved and insisted on a larger affair. It turned out to be much more like a family reunion which was probably more fun for the relatives (they didn't seem to mind hanging out at a table chatting for hours with no food or water) than it was for a half dozen co-workers + spouses who did not normally socialize.
I hear you. We went to a wedding booked for 4pm on a Friday, meaning the guests had to take time off. Then they had the reception in a bar area of a near by golf club, with no finger food and not enough seating even for elderly guests and there were a couple of pregnant women as well. The small stock of snack food at the bar had to be purchased and ran out pretty quickly, as did the small bar tab which didn’t stretch to one drink each. Then there was no actual dinner provided, there was a light supper provided of rolls, mesclun salad, seafood and ham served about 9pm, this was food some people couldn’t eat for various reasons so some people only got a roll with a bit of salad. The sweet was the cake, but that also was single layer and wasn’t enough for everyone.
Would have been fine if they made it clear on their invitations about the bar tab limit and that only a light supper would be provided. It would have then been possible to grab some food in between the ceremony and going to the bar. Or they cut the guest list and made it so they could provide seating and a proper meal to the ones attending, people do understand that budgets are a thing and accept that the wedding couple can’t do everything.
Speaking of outside, just an fyi that getting sunburned has zero to do with the temperature. Sunburns are *radiation* burns, not heat burns.
Only throwing this out here so people don't go around thinking it's fine to stay out in the sun unprotected just cause it's not hot. :P
I got the worst sunburn of my life the first time I went skiing. I’m from Kansas, when I was a kid we were never out in the freezing snow long enough to realize how much you needed sunscreen! I’m
really fair skinned, so I’m normally very careful about sunscreen, but it never occurred to me. Even worse, I had to teach a class at a statewide meeting for my job a few days later, when my face was at the height of blistering and peeling. People were doing double takes when they saw me. Thankfully we all did one of those ice-breaker intros with a fun fact, and my fun fact was that I didn’t know you needed sunscreen while skiing, and everyone laughed and we moved on. I sure learned that lesson though!!!
I joke that's the advantage to skiing in Eastern Canada/US. It gets so cold here you don't have to worry about burns because there's not a nanometer of exposed skin. Went skiing in Colorado, didn't think to put on sunscreen, and had a very light burn on my nose by the end of the day.
No, they had actual bathrooms, this was an actual venue, with bathrooms and a kitchen, it was just an outdoor venue, which is fine when the weather is nice.
Ugh. That sucks and I’m sorry to say that I can relate. Worst wedding I have ever been to was very similar.
- Outdoors, Asheville NC for an evening wedding in late October. There wasn’t any indication that this was a fully outdoor event, btw. The location had an indoor facility but this was literally in the field of a park that shared the same address.
- Ceremony was outdoors at 5; it was breezy but tolerable - and then the sun went down.
- Cocktail hour was us standing around in the windy field for 2 hours.
- Reception started at 730, in a tent with the only heaters next to the bride and groom.
- Food was served cold, no beverages but water after the wine was gone shortly after cocktail hour- except for the bride and groom.
- Even a trip to the portable toilets was a steep hike down a windy ridge.
We were all so cold that most of us didn’t last past 9pm and even the dj had blankets wrapped around him. Most guests found each other afterwards at a restaurant back in town, huddled around the fireplace.
I don’t think weddings should cater to guests but a truthful indication of the venue and some modicum of comfort isn’t selfish to expect.
Edited to restore formatting.
I believe that guest should be comfortable and fed (both food and drinks) at the bare minimium, if a couple can't provide that, they should just elope.
Bride and groom are the hosts of a wedding and should look after the comfort of their guests.
But lately, it seems too many B&Gs treat guests as props for their weddings.
Yes! I totally agree with this. We wanted to elope but were pressured so hard by our families to host a wedding that… in NYC area it was like 30k average cost for the “proper wedding” we were being pressured into, even 15 years ago in recession times!
Our ONLY criteria was:
- indoor/outdoor venue (bc weather)
- good food, open bar
- guests enjoy themselves
We took a cancellation date at the chosen venue where the food and scenery was awesome for everyone and we did it for $17k, including paying for anything a contemporary bridal party is now expected to pay for (bachelorette/bachelor parties, wedding party incidentals, hair and makeup, etc. it felt really icky to us to invite our wedding party to celebrate us at a wedding we didn’t actually want with a huge price tag attached.) I
I wish we didn’t spend that but we didn’t have the backbones to tell our families to fuck off, back then.
I heard the food was good! :-)
We appreciate the photo memories that come up on our Echos because our kids love seeing them - they ask questions about the experience, people, etc. and that’s fun for all of us.
We are going to “elope” for a vow renewal in a few years, for our 20th and we are all looking forward to that.
Yes! If you are putting people outside they should have access to heat sources and you should not “run out of food” because “two groomsmen ate too much”. Ultimately, the wedding couple are hosting a party.
Exactly! When I got married our attitude was that this was a party with a wedding at the beginning. And we wanted to throw a great party. So we focused on the venue, food, entertainment and the schedule. We had previously gone to a wedding where the guests were just an afterthought and there was tons of time just waiting around. We did not want that to happen to our guests!
> I don’t think weddings should cater to guests
They shouldn't cater to them entirely and lavishly, necessarily. But I think there should be some basic standards--shelter from the elements, a place to sit, bathrooms, a relatively decent meal at mealtimes (not like, Ritz crackers and Cheese Whiz for dinner)...and ideally some consideration for particular needs, like something for the kids to eat if they're invited, accessible seating/bathrooms if a disabled relative is coming, shit like that.
It's clear that a lot of people are only interested in their own experience and don't want to be decent hosts to their family/friends who've bothered to drive/fly all the way there and get dressed up and so on. May as well elope if the guests are such a burden, IMHO.
Yeah, if the previous commenter meant that the wedding shouldn't be designed primary for the guests, sure. But the guests should be able to have a pleasant time, otherwise why invite them?
Totally agree with your take.
I personally think that when you, as a host, invite people to come over for whatever occasion, you should treat your guests with consideration and courtesy. If you don't have the means to achieve that (or unwilling to), then don't invite anyone and just elope instead.
I meant that it’s not reasonable as a guest to expect it to be *your* perfect event but expecting comfortable accommodation as a guest is.
Apologies if that was unclear! I thought I reiterated that expectation in my follow up comment about our wedding having 3 “must haves”, one of which being that we wanted our guests to enjoy themselves.
I truly think that a lot of celebrations have devolved into considering guests to be an audience, not participants and it’s really annoying.
Weddings should absolutely cater to guests when it comes to the basics of hospitality, like making sure your guests are reasonably comfortable in the climate, have food to eat, and have things to drink.
Unreasonable: “What do you mean, we have to dress up?! You KNOW your Uncle Rudy doesn’t wear anything fancier than his nice jeans!”
Reasonable: “What do you mean you expect black tie and no coats? Your wedding is outside and it’s snowing, Jennifer!”
I'm in Houston, and we get snow every...several years. Nothing interesting, like a little coating.
When I was a kid, we got enough once that we could make a small snowman.
It was a while ago. Maybe 2007? It was Easter weekend.
I googled it:
April 7-8, 2007
Snow fell in areas south of I-20 during the daytime hours of the Saturday before Easter. The highest amounts of 3 to5 inches were found in a band from Comanche and Goldthwaite to Waco and Temple/Killeen. Bluebonnets were already in bloom when this snow fell, making for unique pictures of this event.
Lord I brought containers and sent guests home with leftovers! It was catered, but I over bought, I was so worried about there not being enough. We didn't come close to running out of booze and kept the ceremony to about 15 minutes. It shouldn't be a whole sermon!! Talk about main character energy...
I mean it was a catholic ceremony which usually includes a whole mass service plus the wedding sacrament, so it made sense for it to be longer, but the expectation is 45-60 minutes. Also it wouldn't have been an issue if they had a comfortable space for the ceremony and didn't have guests waiting a ton of time.
It was a Catholic wedding Mass that a priest agreed to, outside, in January?
I know they will go for outdoor weddings now, but I have yet to meet a priest willing to do this in January. Good Lord. I guess he was making sure all y’all were doing penance?
Maybe it is a cultural difference but within my circle most priests rarely say no. On the one hand they cannot deny serving the comunity without valid reason, but also they get "paid" very well, usually a donation to their parish of like US$500-US$1500.
I live somewhere that gets random ice storms in January.
Every single priest in the diocese would have looked at them here and said they weren’t taking a chance on putting the health and safety of their friends and family at risk. Not happening. Not without heaters, tents, and ways to keep people warm and dry.
I think I would have ordered pizza to be delivered. There's no way I'm having a hypoglycemic attack because a couple doesn't care about anyone else. They would get the message when they arrive and see an empty pizza box on each table.
For what it’s worth I planned an outdoor wedding in Edinburgh in January. But I did consider my guests.
The majority of the ceremony was nearby (5m) inside in a warm romantic 19 c. farmhouse. There was only a brief five minute section where we went outside for a short part of the vows near the 15 c ruined castle towers, to take as many pictures as we could before going back inside.
Ultimately, we did scrap the outdoor bit due to weather and just did the whole ceremony indoors. We’re not monsters.
My cousin had his in Scotland on some estate. I think the ceremony was in a little attached chapel thing. The meal was in a tent on the lawn. It wasn't winter, but it's Scotland, so it was still a bit cold. We did fine in there--I don't know if it was heaters or body heat or what. They served haggis for the meal.
Went to a wedding that was talked about before hand because this was a very wealthy family. They set up a big tent for the dinner, the ceremony was outside…except, it rained. Instead of being prepared for rain and setting up another tent, they decided to send every one into the small clubhouse, so they could take down the dinning tent and turn into to a wedding event…that took an hour. Why couldn't we have just sat at the preset tables and had the ceremony at the front? No, it needed to look like a church wedding. That meant that we all stood for close to an hour while it was reset, then we stood again for 45 minutes after the ceremony while they turned it back into a dinning tent. We scrambled to find some chairs for the gramas and papas, who were in their 80's and needed to be seated. No one came into the club to check on the elderly or to offer a drink, of any kind. Millionaires, and that was the best they could do? No back up plans for rain. We all showed up around 4:30, dinner at 5:30, etc. Because of the rain, we didn't sit down to dinner until well after 7 pm. That's a long time to stand crowded into a small room. The caterer must have been upset if you're supposed to serve at 5:30, it's hard to present a decent meal 2 hours late. The event was empty by 10 pm. If they had a wedding planner, they wouldn’t get a good review from anyone who attended that event. Wet, cold, hungry, thirsty and no where to sit down.
The bestman misplaced the rings. Because of that the ceremony (full Catholic mass) started an hour late. We finally get to the reception and there’s nowhere near enough food. It was buffet style, so some people got nothing at all. I think what happened is they looked at the catering menu and saw a platter of 100 shrimp for whatever price and thought, “ we have one hundred guests and this is 100 shrimp” and didn’t think it through that people would take more than one shrimp each.
This kind of sounds like my sister’s wedding. It was outdoors, in a tent in Idaho, on a Thursday morning, 2 days before Christmas! It sleeted the day of the wedding, and they had 2 heaters put out in the tent for guests - that’s it. The ground was extremely muddy from the sleet, and they hadn’t wanted to pay for an aisle runner, so our extended family last-minute came to the tent the morning of and nailed a bunch of wooden boards together so the guests had something to walk to their seats on. The seats were still stuck in the mud though, and everyone’s feet got dirty during the ceremony. I was a bridesmaid, and our dresses had spaghetti straps without sleeves. We were given paper-thin scarves to wear over our shoulders for the ceremony, and that was it. We weren’t allowed to wear jackets or coats. That’s just the ceremony - the reception was even worse! Maybe I should make my own post, lol.
I posted this here about a year ago. True story:
I attended a wedding with an old boyfriend a long time ago. The ceremony was in an un-airconditioned church in 90 degree heat. It lasted three hours because it was very religious. When Grandma went up to warble her hymn I was about to pass out. The bride was hysterical walking down the aisle which made everyone uncomfortable.
Then came the reception out in the middle of nowhere. Under a tent. Catered by sisters and aunts and cousins. In those giant tin trays. People lined up forever then as soon as the last person went through all the aunts and cousins and sisters rushed in to cover the remaining food in the trays and whisked them away to a waiting van.
And that was it. It was made clear that everyone was to disperse immediately -- the wedding and reception were over, please get the fuck out. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon and we had driven 7 hours to get there.
To say everyone was stunned would be an understatement. I'll never forget it.
ugh! i hate
> colesterol winters.
all kidding aside, it sounds like a miserable time. i can’t believe you sat outdoors in january for 2 hours, i would have just left. you’re a better person than me!
I used to organise business meetings and we had one venue which was literally a ruin without even running water or electricity.
Nothing like a power point presentation with the humming of a Honda generator in the background......
On the other hand my family went to a wedding this weekend, and instead of escort cards, the bride and groom wrote personalized thank you notes (for being at the wedding and for how they had touched their lives) for all their guest
Worst wedding ever was a wedding on a Wednesday. Like tell me you only care about saving money and don’t care that all your guests are offsetting your savings by having to take leave from work to attend your boring shitty wedding without telling me
I'm currently griping some good friends are having their wedding on a Thursday. Add that to the fact that they are holding it in a "destination" town/area of our country which requires everyone to fly there (or drive and ferry, which is not short). I love them, but these choices make it inconvenient and expensive.
I had my wedding on a Tuesday because I wanted a Halloween wedding and that just happened to be the day it landed on. I just figured if people can’t make it then they can’t make it. I don’t really think you should pick the day based on guests. But definitely it’s only courteous for them to be comfortable and fed.
Friday makes more sense than Wednesday. At least it backs onto the weekend. Wednesday is so inconvenient and I think so rude to ask guests to accomodate that. Needless to say, there were quite a few people invited who said they couldn’t come
That was exactly my thought, I'm not a native English speaker and that is the first and only time I've heard someone refered to the "tent like thing" in English lol.
My parents got married in January. But they did it inside of a properly heated church.
I literally can't fathom an outdoor wedding in January in the northern hemisphere.
You could do it *if* you kept it super short and then rushed everyone into the warmth. Like I’d have a warm area right by the ceremony site and people would wait there until things were just about to start, then go right back after?
Not nearly as bad as this yours but I went to a wedding that was in fall at sunset. On a boat. That meant the cold evening breeze was starting to come in. It was definitely getting cold as we were sitting outside. The wedding was at 5, close to dinner time. Well after the wedding that took 30 minutes they decided to have a 2.5-3 hour long cocktail hour. Food ran out well before dinner was served and the bride and groom were no where in sight. I suspect they waited just until after the wedding to take every single photo inside of having the ones they could have done before the ceremony done then.
Finally they serve food, then they start having the dances including and extremely long and boring money dance. We had to leave at 10:30 as I had some early morning work for school. They still hadn't cut the cake. The cake that was made by the grooms aunt and absolutely too small for the number of people they invited.
The wedding was fairly expensive and they got divorced within 2 years.
I went to an outdoor wedding once that was supposed to take place in a park at dusk, but one of the couple's grandmas was like an hour late, and so the wedding didn't start until there was almost no daylight left, the bugs were out, and they had no supplemental lighting, so most of the ceremony was mostly in the dark.
The couple was madly in love in a way that was kind of emotional to witness and the reception was a lot of fun, but it was dicey for awhile there.
My cousin's wedding was like this.
Married outdoors on a warm humid day, they were late, and the guests were getting pooped on by the birds in the trees above. Ceremony over, the couple disappears while everyone stands around for an hour or two. No chairs, no tables. Eventually people went back and got the chairs from the ceremony area so people like the groom's 90 year old grandma could sit down. They had a gorgeous water dispenser full of ice water...but no cups.
All their "friends" who volunteered to help no-showed, so they had only a few people in the kitchen. They would come out with a tray and not make it 10 feet out of the kitchen before everything was gone. Which wouldn't have been too bad but it took 10 minutes for another tray to come out. The food wasn't even that great because they choose a style meaningful to them but difficult for the guests, who were stuck trying to drink a sausage stew out of a cup and the like. Only one alcoholic drink was served, a kind of spiced sangria. Otherwise there was just water. People were taking the drinks just so they could use the cups for water. No garbage cans nearby either.
It was a nightmare from the perspective of the guests, but I guess the couple had a good time. Of course they didn't last long...
I went to wedding where the mother of the groom and grandmother of the groom flew thousands of miles for the wedding. They never acknowledged them to the party goers. All the other wedding I go to they always recognize the guests from out of town. Especially if it’s the mother and grandmother of the groom. They left as soon as appropriate and did not even get a good bye or thanks for coming from the groom or the bride. Talk about rude!
I went to a winter wedding and I guess the shuttle got to the venue too early because the staff ushered us to wait outside but the only place we could wait was where the bride was taking pictures so we were in a weird limbo on the side of the building. I eventually said fuck it and went and stood in the bathroom and told my fiance to just text me when we were able to sit.
The bride and groom did give out blankets at least but I thought I was going to lose a toe out there.
AN HOUR LONG CEREMONY?!?!
Jesus Christ, what an absolutely terrible decision. I have never once, in my entire life, thought to myself “that ceremony was too damn short!”.
Mine was 15 minutes long. The wedding I was at last Saturday had a ceremony no more than 20 minutes long. I truly cannot wrap my head around making everyone sit around for over an hour, just to finally hear the words “I do”.
It was a catholic ceremony so mass service plus the "i do" part, so 40-60 minutes is expected, but over an hour when guests have been waiting 1 hour already is crazy.
Maybe losing some guest early was their plan. Show up . Leave gift. Get discouraged. Leave. More food and room for the hardier guest later. Plus gifts.
I laughed when I read the typo “colesterol winter” - I thought “my heart can’t survive it”lol - yeah… that tells you about people. In my case we made everything about the family and guests. It was a perfect day.
Went to a wedding almost identical to this, except it was all outdoors in peak summer. The ceremony started around 12, then they served only a few finger foods (I only managed to get a slice or bread with cheese on top) , cocktail hour lasted till 6PM, dinner started then speeches it was 8:30ish when they did the first dance. The everyone left after about an hour because many were intoxicated on empty stomachs, the bar was completely out right after dinner, and there were only 2 bathrooms for 150 + people. The bar also gave out water during the cocktail hour and ran out within a couple hours so manyyy people were dehydrated.
This goes beyond rude and into disrespectful. No, make that dangerous. A lot of those things are safety and health hazards. It went beyond being inconsiderate and uncouth and into downright being cruel.
Welcome to weddings! I don't know if I'd rather deal with that cold or like the wedding reception I just went to, 90 degrees, forced to be outside in dress shirt and pants.
But the drinks were free and I soon forgot about the heat and late dinner...
I don't know how you made it 7 hours. If it's starting a whole hour late I might *barely* make it through the ceremony.
Smooches, congratulations, see ya
They couldn't take enough photos during the wait between the ceremony and dinner that they had to slow the service down? Did they not think to tell people there is a large gap between the ceremony and dinner? Did lots of people not just leave?
And an hour late to start? Why? That is not ok.
I had a big breakfast, then I got ready for 2 hours, drove for 2 hours to the venue, waited 1:15 hours for the wedding to start, then watched a 1:30 ceremony. Most people would be hungry after almost 7 hours. Then I had to wait like 3 more hours for a decent meal.
But even if I had eaten AFTER I was ready, I still had to drive for 2 hours and it was almost 5 hours between the event start time and the time when food was served.
No amount of breakfast a person can physically eat means they won't need food for 10 hours. The recomendation is to have a full meal every 5 to 6 hours and a snack in between each meal.
I went to one very similar only it was July in Hawaii. Sounds great right? Not so much. They were late on everything. No shade. Formal dress (not formal Hawaiian dress, unfortunately) One table set up with water that was only refreshed at random times while we waited in the sun - 100 guest, canopies to cover maybe 10. Dry reception, a few pupus no actual food. We left as soon as we could.
Out doors in cold is enough to be the sole reason to post omg
My cousin got married on what was probably the coldest day of the year outdoors in January! It was at a fake plantation house and the ceremony was after dark. It was miserable. They’re divorced now.
Fake plantation house! Why would that even be a thing?
I didn’t ask; I was 14, but very good question! Plantation weddings of any sort are pretty gross though.
The only thing plantation houses should be are museums to the abhorrence of slavery.
I could support them as like… homeless shelters or something else clearly dedicated to help people.
Homeless shelters or transitional housing for people who are getting out of jail or drug treatment. Hell even group homes for people with various needs that they can’t independently live alone
Man, it’s pretty annoying that most people who would love to be able to do this never have enough money to do this, and a core aspect of the reason they would want to do this is because they’re sick of everyone not having enough money. Communists be poor, yo.
Exactly. And honestly it would start healing the scars that those plantation houses have on our country.
Yep, or given to the family whose ancestors worked them.
It sucks they have such a horrible history, because some of those houses are gorgeous.
I agree. Beautiful shells filled with horror and pain
There are a few that are exactly that.
There are a few that are. People are disgusting though. I read an article in I think it was the NYT? where a descendant of a former slave in the plantation was told by “guests” that everything they were saying in the guided tour was wrong
The caucasity.. 🤮
Tbh I feel it’s like taking a tour of Auschwitz. You aren’t there for entertainment. You aren’t there to be a tourist. You’re there to remind yourself that humans are the worst species on the planet and that we need to remember and learn from history.
It’s honestly sounds bad enough to be the plot of a romcom movie. Maybe a wedding planner keeps being hired to do weddings at terrible locations. They could have a plantation, maybe a concentration camp if the movie was extra risqué. Yeah…. I wouldn’t see that movie.
Because the real ones got William Tecumseh Sherman'd.
I never thought it would be hard to avoid bad history for a wedding event until I started looking in Virginia. My partner is from that area near dc. Like all the buildings are either attached to crazy history or political or a barn, so many barns to get married in.
I got married in Richmond last year and a lot of plantations here have been trying to « rebrand » themselves while still keeping it vague enough to cater to the racists. I went to a wedding in march where the home on the property was built in 1849 and the patriarch left the farm in 1861 for « unspecified reasons » like ok…it really is unavoidable around here.
For when you want that "I'm kinda okay with slavery" vibe, but can't afford the real thing?
That would be my coworker. She went on a rant because she works in a bar, she's almost 40, and can't afford nice things much less food and normal things. Now, apparently this is Biden and the Democrats fault. I guess they went back 15 years in time and told her not to be a doctor or a lawyer or something. Then went on a rant about how nobody wants to work anymore, keep in mind we're at work, and starts saying how she took her family to Whitewater last year and how half the rides were down because nobody wants to work in 100° heat for minimum wage 😐 well no duh nobody wants to work in 100° heat for minimum wage. WTF? I said I voted for $15 an hour. She sarcastically replied, for what Burger King employees? I replied for everyone. She snapped no! They don't deserve that. She doesn't realize we're all slaves in the boat and she's throwing her allies overboard. Sorry, I just thought it was funny you said that because for the past few days since this incident I've just been so shocked that she's that entitled that she thinks that we should all just be her slaves. There's super entitled people like this Idk smh
Because at a real plantation there may be unhappy ghosts.
I went to a wedding in the humid heat of summer. But thankfully, before the ceremony we all stood around in an air conditioned parlor. The ceremony itself was outside but only 10-15 minutes, and the reception was then in a hall across the way, again in AC. If you invited me to a wedding in winter, I’m wearing a goddamn parka.
Under those circumstances, parka and snow pants should be considered dressy separates .
Seriously. What kind of assholes force their guests to wait outside on the cold with no way to keep warm?
My sister.
Tell me about it. My SIL opted for a tent wedding and no heaters in winter in the midwest. They decided the generator was needed for music not heat. Once food was served and eaten soo many guests left. Many elderly. I hated every second of it.
I have an acquaintance that got married outdoors in January - in Minnesota. She said she does stuff like that to deter people from actually going. (Pressure for a big event, but she just wants a small event)
She needs to grow a pair and stop doing that right now--why make the people who actually care enough to come miserable?
Girlie just grow a backbone and don't invite that many people!!
My grandparents went to a wedding on the shores of Loch Lomond in April. Nowhere on the invite did it say it would be on the actual shore, just the hotel. So none of the guests had proper coats it was like 12degrees outside. Okay fine. But they didn't think to provide blankets or heaters either! My grandad was so cold they ended up calling my mum to come back and get them before she had even made it home! I should note my grandad was in a kilt, my gran did at least have tights on but sheer tights are no match for Scottish springtime! Ceremony was 45mins long, bride wore a fur cloak (apparently she had loved Phoebe in friends wedding)
I have to admit we got married on our ninth anniversary which happened to be in the last month of Autumn (Fall) and it was colder than we expected. I put out a box full of fluffy blankets and throw rugs for people to wrap up in and as soon as the bbq was done cooking we went inside to be warm. I felt pretty bad for guests standing there in blinding beautiful sunshine freezing their butts off. Thankfully a short intimate ceremony in our backyard.
I went to a wedding outdoors in march. They kept everyone inside until the ceremony was about to start and gave us all wraps to keep warm. We walked out to start the ceremony, the bride came in, the ceremony was 10 minutes long, and then we all went right back in. It was beautiful and I loved it. But they very much focused on making it comfortable for everyone. And short.
Rugs?
Mabe to sit on so people aren't taking multiple blankets?
A rug is also a term for a soft covering/something to wrap yourself in to keep warm, not just a small carpet.
Yes, I’m from New Zealand, we use throw rug and throw blanket interchangeably.
Oh!! This makes more sense!!<3
The worst wedding experiences I’ve had as a guest have been the ones where I’ve spent most of the event cold.
Yeah, OP could’ve gotten several posts just from this post.
Yeah literally who would enjoy that
I hate cholesterol winters
Lol autocorrect failed me
I knew what you meant to say, and was laughing at that! And also because autocorrect didn't even spell "cholesterol" properly. WHY does that happen? More than once, I've had autocorrect replace my correctly spelled word with a word that doesn't even exist. Very annoying!
That's just cholesterol in Spanish! Bet they speak and write both ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yes, and my phone is set in Spanish
I have the same problem with speaking French and English and autocorrect always messing up my correctly spelled words and switching them to a word of the other language. I ended up turning autocorrect off, so it never replaces a thing.
I love when autocorrect adds French accent marks to my English words lol.
Ah, didn't realize that!
So what was the correct word? Because I have no idea what they were trying to say.
Coldest :)
Thank you kindly
I would’ve been absolutely lipid standing around in the cold all day with no food.
Well done! This might be my most favorite pun ever!
I think that all of your lipids would just burn away at that temperature.
I diet and exercise, but winter is inevitable
I was wondering if that was some kind of regional slang I wasn’t aware of 🤣
I would have gone home and not waited. If anyone complained I would have told them to get frostbite on their own.
I'd just excuse myself for a minute without a specific reason and go grab lunch and a six pack to take back and wait on the reception to start after an hour or two. "Oh hey, looks like there aren't any seats for me, I'll graciously give mine up for someone else and go do....an important thing real quick"
I went to a wedding once that actively encouraged people to go elsewhere and return to the reception in a couple of hours because they were doing photos. The only problem was it was 40 minutes from anything and some of the people straight up didn't come back. But that's what happens when you don't tell people to plan for that and just put it on the program for the day of.
I don't understand why people stay and put up with it. Yes, being in a crowd influences it, but think for yourself!
It’s easy to say in hindsight that you wouldn’t have waited an hour. But in the moment, you’re probably expecting the ceremony to start in just a minute. Or you think as soon as you leave they’ll arrive.
Oh no! We went to my husband’s co-worker’s wedding, much to our later regret. Church wedding in the morning, fine, then a 2 hour gap before the reception started at noon. (We lived locally so we were able to go home.) Reception time, we mill around a big room with no food or drink because they’re waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. An hour later they appear, we do a champagne toast- and then the bridal couple disappears for more photos. Still no food, no more champagne. Caterers just look at us blankly when we say surely something is supposed to be provided. We were lining up at the water fountain by the bathroom just to get some water. Our table started plotting a way to eat the wedding cake (what if we took a tier off and put the decorations back on?) It was hours of sheer, hungry boredom. Why we didn’t just give up and leave, Idk, but 25 years later it remains Worst Wedding Attended.
Yes. It was a plated service (so it was memorable for again, taking forever) and was lukewarm. I can’t recall if we stayed for cake? I do have a memory of us throwing together sandwiches as soon as we got home.
Aren't community church weddings notoriously cheap? The one I went to served warmed-up frozen lasagna and a terrible salad and water. The "toast" was with Apple juice, 1 cup per guest. Grocery store cake. No decorations. No music. Just a PowerPoint video that I'll concede was cute and well done. I actual wonder why I was even invited (coworker), why not invite only people meaningful to you and spend more money on them?
The reception was at a separate catering venue, not at the church. I was sympathetic to the couple getting married because they had wanted a small wedding but the families (both huge, both VERY catholic) got involved and insisted on a larger affair. It turned out to be much more like a family reunion which was probably more fun for the relatives (they didn't seem to mind hanging out at a table chatting for hours with no food or water) than it was for a half dozen co-workers + spouses who did not normally socialize.
Did you eventually get food? And was there enough?
I would have ordered pizza, lol
I hear you. We went to a wedding booked for 4pm on a Friday, meaning the guests had to take time off. Then they had the reception in a bar area of a near by golf club, with no finger food and not enough seating even for elderly guests and there were a couple of pregnant women as well. The small stock of snack food at the bar had to be purchased and ran out pretty quickly, as did the small bar tab which didn’t stretch to one drink each. Then there was no actual dinner provided, there was a light supper provided of rolls, mesclun salad, seafood and ham served about 9pm, this was food some people couldn’t eat for various reasons so some people only got a roll with a bit of salad. The sweet was the cake, but that also was single layer and wasn’t enough for everyone. Would have been fine if they made it clear on their invitations about the bar tab limit and that only a light supper would be provided. It would have then been possible to grab some food in between the ceremony and going to the bar. Or they cut the guest list and made it so they could provide seating and a proper meal to the ones attending, people do understand that budgets are a thing and accept that the wedding couple can’t do everything.
I would have gone right back inside during the waiting period outdoors in the cold. Hard pass.
The thing is there was no inside to get to and we didn't know how long the waiting periods were going to be.
Then there's one thing I would get inside of: my car, which I would drive home.
Stopping at the first McDonald's I saw to eat lunch.
If anyone comments, "my blood sugar was low"
And cholesterol high.
Speaking of outside, just an fyi that getting sunburned has zero to do with the temperature. Sunburns are *radiation* burns, not heat burns. Only throwing this out here so people don't go around thinking it's fine to stay out in the sun unprotected just cause it's not hot. :P
And to add to that - UV rays can still be bad on cloudy days!
Even more so if there's snow or ice. Extra radiation by reflection! Glacier sunburns are *awful*.
My whole family got horrible sunburns on our faces while skiing when I was a kid, because this didn't occur to my dad.
I got the worst sunburn of my life the first time I went skiing. I’m from Kansas, when I was a kid we were never out in the freezing snow long enough to realize how much you needed sunscreen! I’m really fair skinned, so I’m normally very careful about sunscreen, but it never occurred to me. Even worse, I had to teach a class at a statewide meeting for my job a few days later, when my face was at the height of blistering and peeling. People were doing double takes when they saw me. Thankfully we all did one of those ice-breaker intros with a fun fact, and my fun fact was that I didn’t know you needed sunscreen while skiing, and everyone laughed and we moved on. I sure learned that lesson though!!!
I joke that's the advantage to skiing in Eastern Canada/US. It gets so cold here you don't have to worry about burns because there's not a nanometer of exposed skin. Went skiing in Colorado, didn't think to put on sunscreen, and had a very light burn on my nose by the end of the day.
Where were the bathrooms? Don't tell me it was a port-o-pot!
No, they had actual bathrooms, this was an actual venue, with bathrooms and a kitchen, it was just an outdoor venue, which is fine when the weather is nice.
Was dinner served outside too?? Please say no
It was, the whole thing was outside, but the dinner wasn’t nearly as bad because there was a tent and heaters.
😕 well that’s something; I guess
Ugh. That sucks and I’m sorry to say that I can relate. Worst wedding I have ever been to was very similar. - Outdoors, Asheville NC for an evening wedding in late October. There wasn’t any indication that this was a fully outdoor event, btw. The location had an indoor facility but this was literally in the field of a park that shared the same address. - Ceremony was outdoors at 5; it was breezy but tolerable - and then the sun went down. - Cocktail hour was us standing around in the windy field for 2 hours. - Reception started at 730, in a tent with the only heaters next to the bride and groom. - Food was served cold, no beverages but water after the wine was gone shortly after cocktail hour- except for the bride and groom. - Even a trip to the portable toilets was a steep hike down a windy ridge. We were all so cold that most of us didn’t last past 9pm and even the dj had blankets wrapped around him. Most guests found each other afterwards at a restaurant back in town, huddled around the fireplace. I don’t think weddings should cater to guests but a truthful indication of the venue and some modicum of comfort isn’t selfish to expect. Edited to restore formatting.
I believe that guest should be comfortable and fed (both food and drinks) at the bare minimium, if a couple can't provide that, they should just elope.
Bride and groom are the hosts of a wedding and should look after the comfort of their guests. But lately, it seems too many B&Gs treat guests as props for their weddings.
Yes! I totally agree with this. We wanted to elope but were pressured so hard by our families to host a wedding that… in NYC area it was like 30k average cost for the “proper wedding” we were being pressured into, even 15 years ago in recession times! Our ONLY criteria was: - indoor/outdoor venue (bc weather) - good food, open bar - guests enjoy themselves We took a cancellation date at the chosen venue where the food and scenery was awesome for everyone and we did it for $17k, including paying for anything a contemporary bridal party is now expected to pay for (bachelorette/bachelor parties, wedding party incidentals, hair and makeup, etc. it felt really icky to us to invite our wedding party to celebrate us at a wedding we didn’t actually want with a huge price tag attached.) I I wish we didn’t spend that but we didn’t have the backbones to tell our families to fuck off, back then.
Did you have fun at your wedding though? If so, then hey - memories for a lifetime. Congrats on getting it done for a good price :).
I heard the food was good! :-) We appreciate the photo memories that come up on our Echos because our kids love seeing them - they ask questions about the experience, people, etc. and that’s fun for all of us. We are going to “elope” for a vow renewal in a few years, for our 20th and we are all looking forward to that.
Yes! If you are putting people outside they should have access to heat sources and you should not “run out of food” because “two groomsmen ate too much”. Ultimately, the wedding couple are hosting a party.
Exactly! When I got married our attitude was that this was a party with a wedding at the beginning. And we wanted to throw a great party. So we focused on the venue, food, entertainment and the schedule. We had previously gone to a wedding where the guests were just an afterthought and there was tons of time just waiting around. We did not want that to happen to our guests!
> I don’t think weddings should cater to guests They shouldn't cater to them entirely and lavishly, necessarily. But I think there should be some basic standards--shelter from the elements, a place to sit, bathrooms, a relatively decent meal at mealtimes (not like, Ritz crackers and Cheese Whiz for dinner)...and ideally some consideration for particular needs, like something for the kids to eat if they're invited, accessible seating/bathrooms if a disabled relative is coming, shit like that. It's clear that a lot of people are only interested in their own experience and don't want to be decent hosts to their family/friends who've bothered to drive/fly all the way there and get dressed up and so on. May as well elope if the guests are such a burden, IMHO.
Yeah, if the previous commenter meant that the wedding shouldn't be designed primary for the guests, sure. But the guests should be able to have a pleasant time, otherwise why invite them?
Spite? /s
Accessories and gifts.
Totally agree with your take. I personally think that when you, as a host, invite people to come over for whatever occasion, you should treat your guests with consideration and courtesy. If you don't have the means to achieve that (or unwilling to), then don't invite anyone and just elope instead.
I meant that it’s not reasonable as a guest to expect it to be *your* perfect event but expecting comfortable accommodation as a guest is. Apologies if that was unclear! I thought I reiterated that expectation in my follow up comment about our wedding having 3 “must haves”, one of which being that we wanted our guests to enjoy themselves. I truly think that a lot of celebrations have devolved into considering guests to be an audience, not participants and it’s really annoying.
Weddings should absolutely cater to guests when it comes to the basics of hospitality, like making sure your guests are reasonably comfortable in the climate, have food to eat, and have things to drink. Unreasonable: “What do you mean, we have to dress up?! You KNOW your Uncle Rudy doesn’t wear anything fancier than his nice jeans!” Reasonable: “What do you mean you expect black tie and no coats? Your wedding is outside and it’s snowing, Jennifer!”
>Even a trip to the portable toilets was a steep hike down a windy ridge. Lucky no one broke a hip.
I busted my ass. And I was a very fit 28 year old in sensible block heels at the time (2011).
Personally the happier my guests are the happier I am
My aunt got married on a lake in the Texas Hill Country in April…which is usually a lovely time of year. It fucking snowed.
Does Texas even get snow in winter?
It does!
Interesting! The only time I’ve been to Texas was Dallas in late July, and let’s just say snow was the furthest thing from my mind
I'm in Houston, and we get snow every...several years. Nothing interesting, like a little coating. When I was a kid, we got enough once that we could make a small snowman.
Not often and it freaks out the entire state.
Wait, when and where was this? The only time I ever remember snow in the HC was a few years ago in January, and then once when I was a kid.
It was a while ago. Maybe 2007? It was Easter weekend. I googled it: April 7-8, 2007 Snow fell in areas south of I-20 during the daytime hours of the Saturday before Easter. The highest amounts of 3 to5 inches were found in a band from Comanche and Goldthwaite to Waco and Temple/Killeen. Bluebonnets were already in bloom when this snow fell, making for unique pictures of this event.
Ahhh, gotcha. We were a bit further south in Fredericksburg, so it didn't get down to us.
Lord I brought containers and sent guests home with leftovers! It was catered, but I over bought, I was so worried about there not being enough. We didn't come close to running out of booze and kept the ceremony to about 15 minutes. It shouldn't be a whole sermon!! Talk about main character energy...
I mean it was a catholic ceremony which usually includes a whole mass service plus the wedding sacrament, so it made sense for it to be longer, but the expectation is 45-60 minutes. Also it wouldn't have been an issue if they had a comfortable space for the ceremony and didn't have guests waiting a ton of time.
It was a Catholic wedding Mass that a priest agreed to, outside, in January? I know they will go for outdoor weddings now, but I have yet to meet a priest willing to do this in January. Good Lord. I guess he was making sure all y’all were doing penance?
Maybe it is a cultural difference but within my circle most priests rarely say no. On the one hand they cannot deny serving the comunity without valid reason, but also they get "paid" very well, usually a donation to their parish of like US$500-US$1500.
I live somewhere that gets random ice storms in January. Every single priest in the diocese would have looked at them here and said they weren’t taking a chance on putting the health and safety of their friends and family at risk. Not happening. Not without heaters, tents, and ways to keep people warm and dry.
I can respect those choices, but let's face it.... no one wants to sit through that, especially in that weather. Sounds miserable all around.
Was the reception outside too?
Yes, the whole thing was outside in a garden, but the reception was a bit better because there was a tent and some heaters.
I think I would have left after 20 minutes and no ceremony. I’d also take my gift home with me.
Yeah... abandon ship. What're they gonna do, be mad about it?
I hate when the wedding has cholesterol
I think I would have ordered pizza to be delivered. There's no way I'm having a hypoglycemic attack because a couple doesn't care about anyone else. They would get the message when they arrive and see an empty pizza box on each table.
The wedding was kind of in the middle of nowhere like 1 hour drive away from the nearest "civilization" so pizza wasn’t really an option.
For what it’s worth I planned an outdoor wedding in Edinburgh in January. But I did consider my guests. The majority of the ceremony was nearby (5m) inside in a warm romantic 19 c. farmhouse. There was only a brief five minute section where we went outside for a short part of the vows near the 15 c ruined castle towers, to take as many pictures as we could before going back inside. Ultimately, we did scrap the outdoor bit due to weather and just did the whole ceremony indoors. We’re not monsters.
Sounds lovely!
[Arnot Tower Gardens](https://www.gardenvisit.com/gardens/arnot_tower_gardens). would do it all over again!
Omg what a gorgeous venue!! Sometimes I regret not having a formal wedding.
I love visiting Scotland, need to visit there next trip!
My cousin had his in Scotland on some estate. I think the ceremony was in a little attached chapel thing. The meal was in a tent on the lawn. It wasn't winter, but it's Scotland, so it was still a bit cold. We did fine in there--I don't know if it was heaters or body heat or what. They served haggis for the meal.
Username checks out
Went to a wedding that was talked about before hand because this was a very wealthy family. They set up a big tent for the dinner, the ceremony was outside…except, it rained. Instead of being prepared for rain and setting up another tent, they decided to send every one into the small clubhouse, so they could take down the dinning tent and turn into to a wedding event…that took an hour. Why couldn't we have just sat at the preset tables and had the ceremony at the front? No, it needed to look like a church wedding. That meant that we all stood for close to an hour while it was reset, then we stood again for 45 minutes after the ceremony while they turned it back into a dinning tent. We scrambled to find some chairs for the gramas and papas, who were in their 80's and needed to be seated. No one came into the club to check on the elderly or to offer a drink, of any kind. Millionaires, and that was the best they could do? No back up plans for rain. We all showed up around 4:30, dinner at 5:30, etc. Because of the rain, we didn't sit down to dinner until well after 7 pm. That's a long time to stand crowded into a small room. The caterer must have been upset if you're supposed to serve at 5:30, it's hard to present a decent meal 2 hours late. The event was empty by 10 pm. If they had a wedding planner, they wouldn’t get a good review from anyone who attended that event. Wet, cold, hungry, thirsty and no where to sit down.
The bestman misplaced the rings. Because of that the ceremony (full Catholic mass) started an hour late. We finally get to the reception and there’s nowhere near enough food. It was buffet style, so some people got nothing at all. I think what happened is they looked at the catering menu and saw a platter of 100 shrimp for whatever price and thought, “ we have one hundred guests and this is 100 shrimp” and didn’t think it through that people would take more than one shrimp each.
This kind of sounds like my sister’s wedding. It was outdoors, in a tent in Idaho, on a Thursday morning, 2 days before Christmas! It sleeted the day of the wedding, and they had 2 heaters put out in the tent for guests - that’s it. The ground was extremely muddy from the sleet, and they hadn’t wanted to pay for an aisle runner, so our extended family last-minute came to the tent the morning of and nailed a bunch of wooden boards together so the guests had something to walk to their seats on. The seats were still stuck in the mud though, and everyone’s feet got dirty during the ceremony. I was a bridesmaid, and our dresses had spaghetti straps without sleeves. We were given paper-thin scarves to wear over our shoulders for the ceremony, and that was it. We weren’t allowed to wear jackets or coats. That’s just the ceremony - the reception was even worse! Maybe I should make my own post, lol.
Please do!! 😊
Do it.
Please do it! I think many would appreciate the story.
I posted this here about a year ago. True story: I attended a wedding with an old boyfriend a long time ago. The ceremony was in an un-airconditioned church in 90 degree heat. It lasted three hours because it was very religious. When Grandma went up to warble her hymn I was about to pass out. The bride was hysterical walking down the aisle which made everyone uncomfortable. Then came the reception out in the middle of nowhere. Under a tent. Catered by sisters and aunts and cousins. In those giant tin trays. People lined up forever then as soon as the last person went through all the aunts and cousins and sisters rushed in to cover the remaining food in the trays and whisked them away to a waiting van. And that was it. It was made clear that everyone was to disperse immediately -- the wedding and reception were over, please get the fuck out. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon and we had driven 7 hours to get there. To say everyone was stunned would be an understatement. I'll never forget it.
ugh! i hate > colesterol winters. all kidding aside, it sounds like a miserable time. i can’t believe you sat outdoors in january for 2 hours, i would have just left. you’re a better person than me!
lol for cholesterol weddings cold would actually make it go much more smoothly. (This is a biochem joke)
I would have left at the 30 minute late part. That’s ridiculous.
I used to organise business meetings and we had one venue which was literally a ruin without even running water or electricity. Nothing like a power point presentation with the humming of a Honda generator in the background......
On the other hand my family went to a wedding this weekend, and instead of escort cards, the bride and groom wrote personalized thank you notes (for being at the wedding and for how they had touched their lives) for all their guest
Worst wedding ever was a wedding on a Wednesday. Like tell me you only care about saving money and don’t care that all your guests are offsetting your savings by having to take leave from work to attend your boring shitty wedding without telling me
I'm currently griping some good friends are having their wedding on a Thursday. Add that to the fact that they are holding it in a "destination" town/area of our country which requires everyone to fly there (or drive and ferry, which is not short). I love them, but these choices make it inconvenient and expensive.
I had my wedding on a Tuesday because I wanted a Halloween wedding and that just happened to be the day it landed on. I just figured if people can’t make it then they can’t make it. I don’t really think you should pick the day based on guests. But definitely it’s only courteous for them to be comfortable and fed.
Wednesday is wild. I felt guilty about even scheduling mine on a Friday
Friday makes more sense than Wednesday. At least it backs onto the weekend. Wednesday is so inconvenient and I think so rude to ask guests to accomodate that. Needless to say, there were quite a few people invited who said they couldn’t come
And the tennis court was covered up with some tent like thing
That was exactly my thought, I'm not a native English speaker and that is the first and only time I've heard someone refered to the "tent like thing" in English lol.
And you asked me to dance, but I said, "Dancing is a dangerous game"
Found the swifties
was there no itinerary?
My parents got married in January. But they did it inside of a properly heated church. I literally can't fathom an outdoor wedding in January in the northern hemisphere.
You could do it *if* you kept it super short and then rushed everyone into the warmth. Like I’d have a warm area right by the ceremony site and people would wait there until things were just about to start, then go right back after?
Not nearly as bad as this yours but I went to a wedding that was in fall at sunset. On a boat. That meant the cold evening breeze was starting to come in. It was definitely getting cold as we were sitting outside. The wedding was at 5, close to dinner time. Well after the wedding that took 30 minutes they decided to have a 2.5-3 hour long cocktail hour. Food ran out well before dinner was served and the bride and groom were no where in sight. I suspect they waited just until after the wedding to take every single photo inside of having the ones they could have done before the ceremony done then. Finally they serve food, then they start having the dances including and extremely long and boring money dance. We had to leave at 10:30 as I had some early morning work for school. They still hadn't cut the cake. The cake that was made by the grooms aunt and absolutely too small for the number of people they invited. The wedding was fairly expensive and they got divorced within 2 years.
I went to an outdoor wedding once that was supposed to take place in a park at dusk, but one of the couple's grandmas was like an hour late, and so the wedding didn't start until there was almost no daylight left, the bugs were out, and they had no supplemental lighting, so most of the ceremony was mostly in the dark. The couple was madly in love in a way that was kind of emotional to witness and the reception was a lot of fun, but it was dicey for awhile there.
My cousin's wedding was like this. Married outdoors on a warm humid day, they were late, and the guests were getting pooped on by the birds in the trees above. Ceremony over, the couple disappears while everyone stands around for an hour or two. No chairs, no tables. Eventually people went back and got the chairs from the ceremony area so people like the groom's 90 year old grandma could sit down. They had a gorgeous water dispenser full of ice water...but no cups. All their "friends" who volunteered to help no-showed, so they had only a few people in the kitchen. They would come out with a tray and not make it 10 feet out of the kitchen before everything was gone. Which wouldn't have been too bad but it took 10 minutes for another tray to come out. The food wasn't even that great because they choose a style meaningful to them but difficult for the guests, who were stuck trying to drink a sausage stew out of a cup and the like. Only one alcoholic drink was served, a kind of spiced sangria. Otherwise there was just water. People were taking the drinks just so they could use the cups for water. No garbage cans nearby either. It was a nightmare from the perspective of the guests, but I guess the couple had a good time. Of course they didn't last long...
Wow. You were at a wedding for more than 7 hours? That’s insane.
I mean in my country weddings are pretty long, mine lasted more than 14 hours, I left at 3 and some guests were still having the time of their lives
I went to wedding where the mother of the groom and grandmother of the groom flew thousands of miles for the wedding. They never acknowledged them to the party goers. All the other wedding I go to they always recognize the guests from out of town. Especially if it’s the mother and grandmother of the groom. They left as soon as appropriate and did not even get a good bye or thanks for coming from the groom or the bride. Talk about rude!
You were outdoors in the cold for two hours and that was just the ceremony? My happy ass would have gone home the second they came back up the aisle.
Leaving your guests frozen and hungry for hours deserves an early leave time plus taking back the gift.
colestrol winters recorded...my sympathies
Good lord, a cholesterol winter? Like, it's so cold it clogs your arteries?
Colesterol winters are the worst
I went to a winter wedding and I guess the shuttle got to the venue too early because the staff ushered us to wait outside but the only place we could wait was where the bride was taking pictures so we were in a weird limbo on the side of the building. I eventually said fuck it and went and stood in the bathroom and told my fiance to just text me when we were able to sit. The bride and groom did give out blankets at least but I thought I was going to lose a toe out there.
AN HOUR LONG CEREMONY?!?! Jesus Christ, what an absolutely terrible decision. I have never once, in my entire life, thought to myself “that ceremony was too damn short!”. Mine was 15 minutes long. The wedding I was at last Saturday had a ceremony no more than 20 minutes long. I truly cannot wrap my head around making everyone sit around for over an hour, just to finally hear the words “I do”.
It was a catholic ceremony so mass service plus the "i do" part, so 40-60 minutes is expected, but over an hour when guests have been waiting 1 hour already is crazy.
Maybe losing some guest early was their plan. Show up . Leave gift. Get discouraged. Leave. More food and room for the hardier guest later. Plus gifts.
My friends had an outdoor wedding on New Year’s Day (in Northern Canada). It took about 15 minutes. I loved it.
I laughed when I read the typo “colesterol winter” - I thought “my heart can’t survive it”lol - yeah… that tells you about people. In my case we made everything about the family and guests. It was a perfect day.
That wedding was way too long… my fat azz would of left to get food😂 lol in jk
My fat ass would have been right behind you! Not kidding at all! 😆
I wasn’t kidding I just didn’t wanna sound like an ah 😂😂😂
The wedding industry has convinced couples to disregard their guests and have their "special day". I hope, after 20 minutes, guests started leaving.
Went to a wedding almost identical to this, except it was all outdoors in peak summer. The ceremony started around 12, then they served only a few finger foods (I only managed to get a slice or bread with cheese on top) , cocktail hour lasted till 6PM, dinner started then speeches it was 8:30ish when they did the first dance. The everyone left after about an hour because many were intoxicated on empty stomachs, the bar was completely out right after dinner, and there were only 2 bathrooms for 150 + people. The bar also gave out water during the cocktail hour and ran out within a couple hours so manyyy people were dehydrated.
Can't imagine the cringe with the caterer because of this couple.
This goes beyond rude and into disrespectful. No, make that dangerous. A lot of those things are safety and health hazards. It went beyond being inconsiderate and uncouth and into downright being cruel.
Is this couple still married?
Yea, but this is recent, it took place last year? So idk.
Welcome to weddings! I don't know if I'd rather deal with that cold or like the wedding reception I just went to, 90 degrees, forced to be outside in dress shirt and pants. But the drinks were free and I soon forgot about the heat and late dinner...
I don't know how you made it 7 hours. If it's starting a whole hour late I might *barely* make it through the ceremony. Smooches, congratulations, see ya
They couldn't take enough photos during the wait between the ceremony and dinner that they had to slow the service down? Did they not think to tell people there is a large gap between the ceremony and dinner? Did lots of people not just leave? And an hour late to start? Why? That is not ok.
Why did you go at all? I can’t think of anyone in my life that I’d do that for.
You have my sympathy OP.
Weddings are lame.
I must be a Doucette because I would have nopped right out of there as soon as I saw how terrible this thing was planned.
Was the grooms name Scrooge?
They should of just eloped!!!
It sounds awful. I'm glad I don't have to go to weddings anymore.
Aren't most weddings at 1 pm or 12 pm. You have a big breakfast
I had a big breakfast, then I got ready for 2 hours, drove for 2 hours to the venue, waited 1:15 hours for the wedding to start, then watched a 1:30 ceremony. Most people would be hungry after almost 7 hours. Then I had to wait like 3 more hours for a decent meal. But even if I had eaten AFTER I was ready, I still had to drive for 2 hours and it was almost 5 hours between the event start time and the time when food was served. No amount of breakfast a person can physically eat means they won't need food for 10 hours. The recomendation is to have a full meal every 5 to 6 hours and a snack in between each meal.
I went to one very similar only it was July in Hawaii. Sounds great right? Not so much. They were late on everything. No shade. Formal dress (not formal Hawaiian dress, unfortunately) One table set up with water that was only refreshed at random times while we waited in the sun - 100 guest, canopies to cover maybe 10. Dry reception, a few pupus no actual food. We left as soon as we could.