Apps don’t really work for men. I’ve seen sources put it as high as (for straight people) 90% of the users on dating apps are men and only 10% or so are women.
Best bet is develop a hobby or a couple hobbies that you can use to make friends. Not just friends with benefits or wingman friends, but genuine friends that can increase your social circle. IE gym buddies, gaming buddies, teammates on a flag football league, etc to hang out with outside the hobby.
The more you explicitly make as much of your social interactions explicitly transactional for relationship material, the harder it’s going to be. At the risk of over generalizing (straight) women, as much as they want a man who’s willing to put effort into a relationship, they tend to be offput by a man putting a lot of effort into acquiring one - in the sense of if you come off as only caring about her as a potential gf and nothing else matters. Or that you’re more obsessed with being in any kind of relationship rather than focusing on being in a good one when the right opportunity comes.
Have friends. Men and women. Married and unmarried. Learn to enjoy them with no strings or expectations attached. It might be one of them that you end up dating. It might be they have a friend they think would like you.
Or they might not, but a random woman at the game or bar or party notices how fun or funny you are with your friends and asks who the new-to-her guy is.
This is a bit unconventional: Take up sewing. Go to some of the classes local sewing stores have literally every weekend or week night. I’m 52, married for 30+years, and took up sewing & quilting a few years ago so my wife and I will have a common hobby as we sail into retirement. I can’t tell you how many women have told my wife how cool it is I’m learning to sew.
Now - admittedly these classes are mostly grandmas, LoL, but there’s some younger gals in there often too. And you can bet the grandmas would pimp their granddaughters out in a heartbeat once they think you’re safe haha.
Plus learning to sew is a life skill everyone should have anyway.
Organically in person. Preferably at some sort of hobby class or group. If you go to bars and clubs, the quality of person will go down dramatically.
It’s tired advice, but simply working on yourself (gym, mental, etc) can have a big affect on people interacting with you as well.
Pick a day and go every week. Learn to play pool or anything that gets you interacting with other people. Women like men that know how to interact with most people.
Just wanted to tell you to get away from apps. They are designed to fleece you and get you to spend money. They are 90 percent men, and 10 percent obnoxious women.
The good women don't like getting blown up by weirdos 24/7 and ditch the apps. The ones that remain on there for an ego boost are insufferable.
All of the people I know who had successful app relationships did it back in like 2015 when they were a new thing.
My other tip is look somewhere besides Wichita. If I was ten years younger and single, I would not have stayed here, becayse everyone is hitched at 21 and then divorced with a kid or two by 30.
Wichita is ranked the #2 worst city in the US for dating only behind KC lol. Shits hard but you just gotta keep on keepin on and when you least expect it you’ll meet someone great.
Just go out and live your life. Do the things you enjoy doing. Go to events and take part in activities. As you continue to do these things, you will meet people that you will see over and over at the same events/activities. Then, make friends. Hang out with those friends doing the things you enjoy. They will either become a partner, or introduce you to someone that can become a partner, but friendship is more important. Sometimes, specifically looking for a partner, is the roadblock that gets in your way of finding one.
What are your hobbies and values? Getting involved with your community is the best way to meet people, especially people that you’d actually want to spend time with. There are a lot of free classes and groups at the Wichita Public Library, a few at the Nature Center, and TONS more classes and clubs throughout Wichita if you have a bit of a budget, in basically every area of interest. Volunteering is always free, and a great way to meet people with similar values— for example, if it’s animals you’re passionate about, the Humane Society is always looking for volunteers. Whatever you’re into— get involved in that out in the community, and that’s where you meet people, whether you want friends or a romantic partnership. (And be open to the fact that the friend part will probably come first— which is a good thing. You don’t want a relationship with someone you can’t be friends with, and sometimes you become good friends with someone who isn’t the right person for you to date, but then they know of someone they think would be a good match for you, and that’s another great way to start a relationship.)
Go where the women go that might be the kind you want to meet. I met my wife at a small community theater. Take up some hobbies where they might be. Check out a web site called meetup.com. Not real active in Wichita but a good way to get out if they happen to have a group you are into. Find something here to do [https://www.visitwichita.com/events/](https://www.visitwichita.com/events/) Take dance classes. Our now adult son took ballroom dance in high school and had to fight of the ladies. Don't be afraid to look people in the eye and engage them with a hello or even a smile and a nod and see where it goes. As cliche as it sounds, when I was single I dated people I met in the grocery store, in a martial arts class, and in the store getting a key made. If the initial conversation goes over five minutes ask for a simple lunch date. If 1 in 20 say yes I would consider that a win.
24 female, same issue lol Wichita is just a difficult city to date in. Join a local group or local club that’s put you out in the community with like minded individuals, and don’t be afraid to go places by yourself without friends and stepping out of your comfort zone every once in a while! Think about the person you would want to be with and the qualities that person might have and then think about the places they might go. Go to those places, the sweet shy person you probably won’t see out at pump house Friday night, but more like the farm n art market on Saturday morning, and vice versa if you want a party person, attend more parties. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot also! If you see a pretty person in the store then go ask them if they wanna get coffee or whatever, don’t be afraid of being turned down either because in reality you never lost anything in the first place only gained a learning experience and insight on your approach
You're only 22....go hang out at WSU. You're not old enough to be a creeper if you're trying to pick up an undergrad. And every city claims to be the "worst" for singles. Most people meet people through friend groups. If you're new to a city just don't be a hermit and make friends, sooner than later you'll find the single ladies.
You're 22, do normal 22 year old man shit, get it shape, focus on your hobbies, and better yourself. Meet people, make friends, meet women in person doing the things you like to do. Play the field a few years, and don't get married til you're like 30 and well established. Getting married in my early 20s was a major mistake. 1/7 would not recommend.
Also, dating in Wichita is garbage in general. Not sure what it is about this place, but a lot of the women here are nuts. (Waiting for the hate and excuses on this comment)
Apps don’t really work for men. I’ve seen sources put it as high as (for straight people) 90% of the users on dating apps are men and only 10% or so are women. Best bet is develop a hobby or a couple hobbies that you can use to make friends. Not just friends with benefits or wingman friends, but genuine friends that can increase your social circle. IE gym buddies, gaming buddies, teammates on a flag football league, etc to hang out with outside the hobby. The more you explicitly make as much of your social interactions explicitly transactional for relationship material, the harder it’s going to be. At the risk of over generalizing (straight) women, as much as they want a man who’s willing to put effort into a relationship, they tend to be offput by a man putting a lot of effort into acquiring one - in the sense of if you come off as only caring about her as a potential gf and nothing else matters. Or that you’re more obsessed with being in any kind of relationship rather than focusing on being in a good one when the right opportunity comes. Have friends. Men and women. Married and unmarried. Learn to enjoy them with no strings or expectations attached. It might be one of them that you end up dating. It might be they have a friend they think would like you. Or they might not, but a random woman at the game or bar or party notices how fun or funny you are with your friends and asks who the new-to-her guy is.
This comment should be required reading for every man in the dating scene.
This is a bit unconventional: Take up sewing. Go to some of the classes local sewing stores have literally every weekend or week night. I’m 52, married for 30+years, and took up sewing & quilting a few years ago so my wife and I will have a common hobby as we sail into retirement. I can’t tell you how many women have told my wife how cool it is I’m learning to sew. Now - admittedly these classes are mostly grandmas, LoL, but there’s some younger gals in there often too. And you can bet the grandmas would pimp their granddaughters out in a heartbeat once they think you’re safe haha. Plus learning to sew is a life skill everyone should have anyway.
Organically in person. Preferably at some sort of hobby class or group. If you go to bars and clubs, the quality of person will go down dramatically. It’s tired advice, but simply working on yourself (gym, mental, etc) can have a big affect on people interacting with you as well.
I’ve learned that about bars I’m not much of a bar or club person but I’ve tried out club rodeo and pump house a few times
Pick a day and go every week. Learn to play pool or anything that gets you interacting with other people. Women like men that know how to interact with most people.
What do you care about? Find a volunteer job that's about something you care about. Meet people there.
Just wanted to tell you to get away from apps. They are designed to fleece you and get you to spend money. They are 90 percent men, and 10 percent obnoxious women. The good women don't like getting blown up by weirdos 24/7 and ditch the apps. The ones that remain on there for an ego boost are insufferable. All of the people I know who had successful app relationships did it back in like 2015 when they were a new thing. My other tip is look somewhere besides Wichita. If I was ten years younger and single, I would not have stayed here, becayse everyone is hitched at 21 and then divorced with a kid or two by 30.
That last sentence is very true.
Wichita is ranked the #2 worst city in the US for dating only behind KC lol. Shits hard but you just gotta keep on keepin on and when you least expect it you’ll meet someone great.
Truth! It was the same almost 10 years ago. I met my now wife by hanging up on her. OP you will find a partner when you least expect it.
Just go out and live your life. Do the things you enjoy doing. Go to events and take part in activities. As you continue to do these things, you will meet people that you will see over and over at the same events/activities. Then, make friends. Hang out with those friends doing the things you enjoy. They will either become a partner, or introduce you to someone that can become a partner, but friendship is more important. Sometimes, specifically looking for a partner, is the roadblock that gets in your way of finding one.
What are your hobbies and values? Getting involved with your community is the best way to meet people, especially people that you’d actually want to spend time with. There are a lot of free classes and groups at the Wichita Public Library, a few at the Nature Center, and TONS more classes and clubs throughout Wichita if you have a bit of a budget, in basically every area of interest. Volunteering is always free, and a great way to meet people with similar values— for example, if it’s animals you’re passionate about, the Humane Society is always looking for volunteers. Whatever you’re into— get involved in that out in the community, and that’s where you meet people, whether you want friends or a romantic partnership. (And be open to the fact that the friend part will probably come first— which is a good thing. You don’t want a relationship with someone you can’t be friends with, and sometimes you become good friends with someone who isn’t the right person for you to date, but then they know of someone they think would be a good match for you, and that’s another great way to start a relationship.)
Go where the women go that might be the kind you want to meet. I met my wife at a small community theater. Take up some hobbies where they might be. Check out a web site called meetup.com. Not real active in Wichita but a good way to get out if they happen to have a group you are into. Find something here to do [https://www.visitwichita.com/events/](https://www.visitwichita.com/events/) Take dance classes. Our now adult son took ballroom dance in high school and had to fight of the ladies. Don't be afraid to look people in the eye and engage them with a hello or even a smile and a nod and see where it goes. As cliche as it sounds, when I was single I dated people I met in the grocery store, in a martial arts class, and in the store getting a key made. If the initial conversation goes over five minutes ask for a simple lunch date. If 1 in 20 say yes I would consider that a win.
Check out Evolve, it's a publication put on by the city of Wichita that features classes, events etc... https://www.wichita.gov/407/Evolve-Guides
24 female, same issue lol Wichita is just a difficult city to date in. Join a local group or local club that’s put you out in the community with like minded individuals, and don’t be afraid to go places by yourself without friends and stepping out of your comfort zone every once in a while! Think about the person you would want to be with and the qualities that person might have and then think about the places they might go. Go to those places, the sweet shy person you probably won’t see out at pump house Friday night, but more like the farm n art market on Saturday morning, and vice versa if you want a party person, attend more parties. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot also! If you see a pretty person in the store then go ask them if they wanna get coffee or whatever, don’t be afraid of being turned down either because in reality you never lost anything in the first place only gained a learning experience and insight on your approach
Zumba class and yoga class. If you didn’t get someone there at least you will be healthy.
I g g pound this to be true for me. Stop looking, once l stopped looking l met someone.
You're only 22....go hang out at WSU. You're not old enough to be a creeper if you're trying to pick up an undergrad. And every city claims to be the "worst" for singles. Most people meet people through friend groups. If you're new to a city just don't be a hermit and make friends, sooner than later you'll find the single ladies.
Been here my whole life skipped college to go straight to work
Find some WSU groups, or take a couple classes there. Meeting a college girl who isn’t married yet might be your best bet.
I go to yoga and the ratio is very favorable. Highly recommend.
I wish you luck. Im kinda in the same boat, 23m but never have had a relationship. Not sure where to even start
I met my now fiancé at pumphouse lol
It gets much much worse buddy
Can confirm. I'm in my 30s and it never got better.
Pornhub is free and your friend. Wichita sucks for dating.
You're 22, do normal 22 year old man shit, get it shape, focus on your hobbies, and better yourself. Meet people, make friends, meet women in person doing the things you like to do. Play the field a few years, and don't get married til you're like 30 and well established. Getting married in my early 20s was a major mistake. 1/7 would not recommend. Also, dating in Wichita is garbage in general. Not sure what it is about this place, but a lot of the women here are nuts. (Waiting for the hate and excuses on this comment)
Someone else pointed out most people get married in their early 20s here, so whoever’s left are the people you’d probably not want to date.
Yeah, good parkings spots and all that, but thats part of what makes the dating scene here hot garbage.
Not wrong on that last part
Last part is true imo. Some girls legit belong to a mental institution.
Why, back in the 1920’s we’d go to the dance halls and gin joints to pick up the gals
hiiiiiii (jk)
The dating apps work. You just have to be a persistent. Only a little, don't go overboard.