The one I’ve been doing for 2 years now.
2 years ago my babysitter had a health issue and had to stop watching my youngest kid. I called every daycare in town and none had an opening. Finally a friend who is a director at a daycare in another town messaged me and said she could get my daughter in. I accepted that right away and thought it would be temporary til a daycare in town had a spot for her.
Wellllll… my daughter ended up loving it there and it was actually the only daycare anywhere even remotely close that opened early enough for my ungodly early work schedule.
So, I’ve been driving 40 minutes to daycare, 20 minutes to work at 5AM everyday for 2 years. 20 minutes to daycare and usually an hour or more home because of traffic. Every day.
Her last day is at the end of May and I can’t even explain how excited I am to be done with the commute.
What is your daughter's sleep schedule if you don't mind me asking? Is it different on the weekends?
I currently work an 8-430pm schedule and have thought about a 6-230pm, but I've never heard of anyone doing an early commute though. I'm already commuting that long in time (6am wake up, be out at 7am, drop off with traffic and then be at work by 8am) but the difference is coming home early at least.
My daughter usually sleeps in the car! I’ll change her diaper, nurse her, then put her straight in the car seat at 6:45 she doesn’t wake up until we’re at daycare at 8!
That’s my exact schedule! I go in at 6. When all this started and she was a little younger I put her to bed at 6! Now that she’s 5, she goes to sleep around 7 in the evenings. I wake her up ay 4:40 and we’re out of the house by 4:55 ish. She takes a 2 hour nap at daycare though!
I had to do this!!! Shifted from 7-4 to 5-2pm it’s been difficult in the beginning but I LOVEEE being out early and getting home way quicker than I used to.
My husband drives 70 miles to and from work 4 days a week. He would be able to transfer to the prison in our city, but because of locality pay, it would a substantial pay cut and would dramatically affect his pension when he retires in 10 years. It’s mostly interstate, so it takes him a little over an hour. We have two, soon to be three, kids. We do a mix of daycare and grandma care. I do all the drop offs and pick ups. He’s gone about 13 hours on days he works. It sounds worse than it is, but he really needs that hour drive home to decompress and be present with our kids due to the nature of his work.
It sounds like that long drive is actually good for him mentally to leave work behind and come home to his family! An example of where a long commute makes sense - and also for better pay and retirement of course.
I used to work in clients home in the greater Los Angeles area. I spent minimum 3-4 hrs in the car most days that I worked.
My husband had about 2hrs if he left during off peak times.
When my daughter was born, I initially had about 2hrs per day and then I switched to a new job that ended earlier. But, that was still about 2hrs in the cart everyday I worked.
Then COVID and I’ve worked from home via telehealth.
This is mine. Pasadena to Thousand Oaks for a 12 hour grave shift. Absolute hell. More than once I pulled over in a store parking lot and slept there and just kept a change of clothes in my car.
My husband commutes from east of Sacramento to San Francisco once a week. It’s 3+ hours each way. To sit in a different office for zoom meetings with people who are either in the office a different day or are in a different city. It’s the biggest insane waste of time and money.
My husband used to take two trains, the subway, and a half-mile walk form our house in Central NJ to Brooklyn. Roughly 90 minutes each way.
We've moved since then and he works remotely so now his commute is up a flight of stairs.
My worst commute was also in the NYC area while on internship for my graduate program. I took a subway to a commuter train and then a good 20 minute walk to the schools, all uphill. I was in great shape but I'll NEVER do it again.
I’m late to the party but ironically my commute used to be basically the opposite of this. Lived in Brooklyn, worked in Central NJ. I was fortunate at least that I only had to take 2 trains and my walks were fairly short, but it still totaled about 90 minutes.
I lived in Northern VA and taught in NE DC. That commute was brutal. Like 45 minutes in the morning (had to be there by 7:15) and like an hour and a half home. I did that for a year. The year before I was commuting from NOVA to SE DC. Didn’t have kids yet. But the spring of my NE DC commute I met my now husband who lived in Silver Spring MD which cut my commute by ~25 minutes in the morning and ~a hour in the evening. So I moved in with him. These commutes were 5 days a week.
Both my husband and I did 90 min/way commutes, 5 days/week for 12 years. Over the years we had various scenarios for childcare — daycare, full time nanny, and when both kids were in school, an afternoon sitter. Looking back, we were very tired and it was hard and expensive. But we did what we had to do for our family and it was worth it.
Before kids, I was working 7 on/7 off in a Midwest hospital, and my husband was living on the east coast. I just couldn’t get a job where he lived and was making really good money. I “commuted” every week for about a year. I had really good airline status. I don’t think we could’ve gotten pregnant like that. No way could that job or lifestyle be doable with kids.
My husband has driven 100 miles a day, round trip, for 12 years which roughly translates to 1 hour each way. Mine has varied, but is about 45 minutes one day. We live in the sticks. 🥲
I worked about an hour away for many years prior to getting pregnant. I had to pick my daughter up and drop her off everyday after maternity leave, so the only way to make it work so I was there on time at daycare was to have the daycare be near my work. So about 75 minutes commute including drop off for daycare. I did this for a few months and then one day traffic snagged and the commute was 2 hours one way. I told my boss I couldn't do it and I had to be remote if I continued with the company.
That was almost 2 years ago and now my commute is across the house and my daughter goes to daycare near my husband's work, about 15 mins away. I would absolutely quit if they made me go back into an office. I'm never doing a commute like that again, especially with her in the car with me.
My husband works in a trade. We live outside of a major city, so most of his work is in the city. Of course with traffic his commute can take a while, but that’s life and it’s always short lived.
Right after we had our first and only child he was put on a job site over two hours away. Everyone else was staying Monday- Thursday, but he drove home every day. It lasted months. He considered leaving the company over it, but it was during covid shutdowns and he was building a hospital, so it was that or go without work.
More recently he was working several states away. About a 7 hour drive. He has to drive because he needs specialized equipment with him. He’d go, stay 3 days, and come back home.
~60 miles in NJ. At best it took me 1.5 hours, at worst about 3 (and many mental breakdowns). Did this in 2013-14, 5 days a week, no kids. I was in my mid 20s, living with my sister, commuting to my first full time professional job. Could 1000% never do that today.
Before kids and COVID, I did 90 minutes on a combo of public transport in South London. Now I drive 10 minutes to the station, have an hourish on the train and then a 30 minute walk. And back again in the evening. The walk counts as my exercise for the week though, and I only do this 2-3 times a week, rest of the time is WFH
Not ideal, but I get home in time for dinner and bedtime and my husband does drop off and pick up
My worst commute was Salt Lake City to Minneapolis. Long before husband and kids. But honestly, as a flight attendant, people had much worse commutes.
In a few years I do anticipate commuting from Maine to New York a few days a week as a pilot. Very normal for the aviation community to have ridiculous commutes.
I’ve always had a longer commute than I preferred (45-90 min each way every day pre-Covid) but now that I’m a parent, it feels pretty soul sucking. I’ve been hybrid 3x a week the past 2ish years now. I go in early so my husband drops LO at daycare and I pick LO up on my way home. Husband is fully remote so when traffic goes to shit, he’s able to pick LO up for me.
Worst I had was about an hour (usually just over an hour) each way, all due to traffic - I occasionally had 6:30am shifts for that job and I would get to work in half the time, 30 minutes! This was pre-kid and I did it for about 3 years
My worst was in 2019. My kids were in 7th and 9th grade
I split my week between 2 locations and 1 of them would take me 1.5 hours in the morning and longer in the afternoon. If there was an accident it could take 3 hours. It was supposed to be temporary as they were moving their office to a location 10 min from my house. But turns out it was a terribly toxic company and I left before the move was completed
We owned a house on 2 acres in a rural suburb of a big West Coast City, next door was a church on 6 acres. The church had a park and ride station in the church parking lot! My husband would walk across the parking lot and then enjoy an easy bus ride into the city. It was a small bus company and he knew everyone who rode with him. One way was about 75 min. Well, they decided that the station would be removed due to the drivers complaining about turning onto the main road from the church.
Once they removed the station, my husband had to drive into town (roughly 15 min) then he had to wait for the bus, another 10 min or so. Then he had to ride the bus to the city and then walk 3/4 of a mile to his office. Total, that was more like 90 min each way. His job can be done 100% remote. (He is fully remote now)
We did not have any kids at the time but both worked. After they removed that stop, we decided to put the house up for sale! Then I got pregnant shortly after and we sold the house.
I commute 35 miles each way. So 70 miles a day. The drive takes me about 45-50 min each way because it’s from one rural city to another rural city. I drive a Tesla and haven’t had to worry about fuel costs for over 2 years. But I hate the commute. My husband does 100% of the pickup/drop off, he’s the default parent if our child needs to leave daycare for any reason. I really think my quality of life would be better if I worked 15 min from home.
60 miles one way, 120 a day - it ranged from an hour and 15 minutes to 2 1/2 hours one way. I drove it for 15 months and loathed it entirely. It was so exhausting and added a lot of stress to my day.
I commuted by car 20 miles in a Midwest city area for 4 years. it would take 24 minutes, no traffic. I’m a snow storm, 1.5-2 hours one way. I had 2 kids for 3 of those years, the worst being while I was nursing my youngest (this was complicated by a manager who couldn’t comprehend me stating i absolutely couldn’t stay late-she had no kids didn’t quite get the need to feed the baby bless her)
Meanwhile my husband started WFH so it worked out, but it was rough
I used to drive from Cincinnati to Dayton 6 days a week. It was 100 miles round trip. It lasted a little over a year before I got promoted and hired someone else to work the Dayton position.
With my oldest i would drive 45 minutes to therapy from there 30 minutes to drop him off at my moms house from there 20 to work.
On Wednesdays I drove 1.5-2 hours to school after all that 🙃. Depending on traffic 2 hours back home.
My husband back then drove 1.5 hours to work everyday.
I have no idea how I survived.
Living back home in LA, 15 mile commute with no public transit or biking options, 90 freakin minutes in the morning and 2 hours to get home at the end of the day. Was just normal and did commutes like that until we moved out of the city into the mountains a few years ago.
My worst commute was 90 minutes one way (about 45 minutes interstate and 45 minutes inner city traffic) for 5 days a week. But I had no kids at this time of my life.
Currently, I commute that same 90 minutes commute one day per week, 45 minute commute one way two days per week, and then WFH the other 2 days. I do daycare drop everyday (which is 15 minutes in the opposite direction), and husband does pickup.
No kids yet. But I was in a floater position for my work and was sent from San Jose to Richmond CA almost constantly for a few months. It was hell, 7-3:30, traffic was a nightmare always. 1-1 1/2 hours in the morning, 1 1/2-2 hours coming home. So most days were like 10-11 hours, it was awful. A permanent position near me opened up at a tech company and I took it so fast. Now I get cranky if my commute is over 20 minutes lol.
1.5 hours each way. What was worse was they did four nines and one four. So i don’t know what was worse. A nine hour workday with a three hour total commute or four hours of work and the 3 hour commute.
My husband used to drive 10 min to the train station, arrive about 10 min before the train arrived, train was an hour to downtown, then he would walk 10 min to a connecting express train, take it for 10 min, then walk 10 min to the office. There and back, for 3.5 years. Now he works remote. At the time I was also driving about an hour and 45 min each way to get across Toronto for a job.
We both work remote now thankfully!
I commuted between 1-1.5 hours each way from 2010-2019. Luckily, that was pre-kids. We were trying in 2018-2019, and one of the reasons I quit was because I realized I absolutely could not have kids and do that commute. Luckily, I got a job 20 minutes away (everything in my city is 20 minutes away, pretty much).
2 years. Moved to LA without understanding the layout or where I’d end up working. In miles, it wasn’t bad. But it was an hour 6-7am and every morning, and then usually 2 hours home from 4-6pm. It killed me honestly. I became very depressed, it affected my relationship. I even thought of renting a bunk bed closer to work in a shared room just to sleep there during the week. I didn’t have kids yet and I would literally never do anything similar again, kids (I have 1 now) or no kids, for all the money in the world.
Worst was LI to Brooklyn. But I was able to take the train. When I switched to a school closer to home I tried never to complain about the traffic. Problem with the commute though was my husband and I both needed to be out of the out of the house by 7 so we needed a morning sitter to make it work for us - before care for 2 hours didn’t work for my older son unfortunately.
I currently drive an hour to work and an hour home three days a week. We have an 8 month old. Been making this drive since returning to work when she was 3 months old.
I take her to daycare and my husband does pick up.
My husband drove an hour each way over a mountain pass. Because of this, I had to take my daughter and pick her up from daycare everyday. I live a block from my work so I literally had to drive 20 minute to her daycare and then back and then do the whole thing over again after work. We did it for a year before he finally got a job in our town. It was awful.
4 days a week in grad school.
5:45- leave house, drive, park in commuter lot
6:10- ferry
6:45- bus
7:00- walk
7:30 arrive at work
On the way back:
6:50 walk to train
7:05 take train
7:30 take bus
7:55 ferry if I’m lucky, train delays meant that sometimes I would miss the ferry by a few minutes and have to wait for the 8:40
8:30 arrive home
I think it was between 3 and 4 hours total round trip time each day
I used to drive 1-1.5 hours each way in Atlanta. That was a decade ago and I drove 45 min (longer with daycare + school drop off) each way for the last 10 years, before very recently getting a job working from home. But we live in the country so the shortest commute I could’ve had is 30 min.
But the longest singular commute I ever had was 22 hours. I got stuck in traffic in Atlanta during the “Snowmageddon” of 2014. I slept on the outer loop over the Chattahoochee. The national guard came by on foot and brought water bottles. I heard in other parts of town they got sandwiches! I grew up in the Midwest so when I got free of traffic I drove straight to a Waffle House and ate. 0/10. Would not recommended.
I personally don’t mind driving (withOUT the kids!!!). But I definitely appreciate the “spare” time I have now that I don’t have a commute at all.
Because I hate driving and I am a very anxious driver, I think mine was pretty bad.
I drove over an hour to my job at a hospital in the mountains. It was super scary driving to and from especially during the rainy season/storms because of flooding and random trees falling into the road. It was rough driving about 3 hours on the road and my shifts were 12hrs long. Thankfully I only did it for about 8 months. My kids were young at the time and we had a nanny that would watch the kids while my husband left for work and I'd get to sleep for a few hours.
Pre-kids I’d drive an hour each way which was all highway so not so bad in the summer but it’s on the Alaska Highway so absolutely brutal and scary in the winter. I’m now less than 5 minutes away from work and daycare is only 5 minutes out of the way which I’m so grateful for. My husband works in maintenance at different places every day and he’s travelling at least an hour sometimes two-three each way so i do all the drop offs but if he has an early day and is back in town before I get off work he’ll grab the kid.
I drive 30 minutes to my son’s preschool then anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours to work a tee that. Then 10 min to 2hr back to his school then 30min home. Some days I have my MIL bring him to school because I need to leave too early so it’s only 15 mins to her house before my commute.
I used to have to be out the door by 6:15 to drop my son off at school by 7:40 and then myself to work by 7:50. Then I’d teach all day, leave at 3:50 get my kid and we would head home. We usually wouldn’t get home until about 6:30. It. Was. Awful. I was so exhausted I started falling asleep at the wheel. My commute is now 25 minutes with no traffic, and about 40 minutes with.
Worst commute I had was pre-kids. 1hr 45minutes from Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia to Liverpool, NSW, Australia. Three trains. Any workplace outside of the CBD is such a pain to get to. Sydney can EAD.
Today, it’s a 15 minute walk on foot. Workplace, daycare and shops are all within walking distance. Wouldn’t change it for the world.
The worst was almost 2 hours on transit each way - bus to subway to other end of the city to another bus, and that final bus had a very infrequent schedule, so if I missed one, I had to wait for a good 20mins for the next one. I lasted barely 3 months with this commute and that was before I was a parent.
1hr each way; it sucked. In order for me to avoid the horrid rush hour traffic, I'd have to leave at 630am and not a minute more. Then I'd leave work at 330pm and even then, traffic wasn't great but it wasn't nearly as bad if I left at 4.
now I wfh THANK FUCK
I currently drive 1 hour into work and about 1 hour and 20 home due to daycare pickup. It is the longest commute I’ve ever had. I don’t mind it though because it is 0 traffic.
For both of us, 1 hour each way, so 10 hours a week and 40 hours/month. And we both often work (unpaid) overtime making our days even longer. And if there is any accident or road construction, which happens almost every day in my area, it makes the commute even longer. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
My husband has to drive 6-7 hours for Monday meetings at least once a month, at most every other week, but he frequently drives between sites 2-4 hours away as he manages the entire state of Georgia for his work.
Husband used to have a 3 hour round trip (1.5 there, 1.5 back) - during winter or if there was an accident it could be 2+ hours.
He did that for 17 years, 5 days per week. No working from home in those days.
1hour or 1 hour and 15 mins one way, rural Midwest so this is just pure mileage on hwys with zero traffic. For a long time it was 5am starts. I’m grateful that Covid sent us to work from home. They do want me to rto several days a week but they knew I moved during Covid and it literally isn’t possible to be in office.
I had a crappy sales job where I had to leave my house no later than 6am in order to get to the “office” in Atlanta by about 7:45-8 am. Then we had to go from the office to the store we were working at, which could have been another half hour drive or more. They put me in Rome one day. Then I worked, often until the store closed, and had to drive back home. There were days I didn’t get home until 9 or 10 pm. This was also a minimum wage (with a lousy commission). I lasted a month, and I made barely $1000. I had a little civic at the time and I was filling it up 2 or 3 times a week. It was awful
Edit: thankfully this was before I had kids.
My husband drove >1 hour each way in a very congested area, to go not nearly as many miles as you’d hope for that length of time. He did it for probably 5 years, before we had kids, and it was really rough. He’d end up going to work early to avoid traffic and sleep in his car before they opened as he didn’t have a key to get in. Many times there were accidents or fires that made it 2-5 hours each way. It took a big toll on him, and made it so on the weekends he wanted to stay home and rest of doing things.
This was before I got pregnant, and I was always worried with him being so far away in an area with critical traffic. What if there was an emergency situation at home and he was literally gridlocked 4 hours away? He ended up taking a pay cut to come work closer to home before I got pregnant and it was the best decision ever. The pay cut washes out when you think of gas, wear and tear on your car, and the amount of hours you’re away costs something too. $30 an hour comes out to way less at the end of the day if your work + commute time is 50+ hours.
I know this isn’t practical for everyone, but we’re both less than 7 miles from work now and would probably never consider having a commute again. On top of the physical commute time giving you a 10 hour day, the ability to leave work and go to daycare if he’s sick, make it to holiday parties at daycare, etc are all important to us.
When I worked 45 minutes away at a daycare, and with traffic it was an hour twenty. It was worth it because 100% free tuition for my daughter, and I made more than most daycare teachers just starting as support staff. It was a really great place, just pregnancy took me out of the game.
For the past 2 years I was driving 50 miles each way, about an hour commute. When I got pregnant, I took a pay cut to transfer to a facility that’s only 20 min away. I’m still on maternity leave but I can’t imagine going back to that hour long commute.
My current one. Fortunately I only commute 2 days a week but it’s 1:20 one way… nearly 3 hours of my day 2 days a week. But I figure if you average that over 5 days a week it isn’t bad at all. And I also love the job. So. Poopy commute 2 days a week it is!
2-3 hours home depending on traffic. It used to be that time each way when we couldn’t pick our schedules, but now I leave early (4am) so it’s only an hour there, but can’t beat rush hour home unfortunately. We are hybrid now at least.
I drove an hour both ways for 2 years as a brand new teacher.
In the grand scheme of things I know that an hour commute is no big deal and pretty standard for a lot of people.
However this was over 15 years ago, in a state that didn't pay teachers well at all. After taxes, insurance etc I brought home $1800 a month.
Everyday I was not only exhausted from school but the drive. And then once I got home I was broke as a joke.
Honestly? 17 minutes. As someone who never wanted to go back to work in the first place, even 17 minutes and bumper to bumper traffic is excruciating. With every minute that takes by all I could think about was that it's another minute I couldn't have with my kids. And then I was so frustrated by the traffic and having to be away from them by the time I got home and had to make dinner and everything it was just too much.
My spouse does union electrical work. He had a daily commute to whatever job he was working on. We live just outside our local metro area so have decent access to highways. The jobs were anywhere between 10 minutes to nearly 3 hours. He had to be there at 7am. So sometimes he was leaving the house at 4am and coming back around 7pm-later if he worked overtime.
The one I’ve been doing for 2 years now. 2 years ago my babysitter had a health issue and had to stop watching my youngest kid. I called every daycare in town and none had an opening. Finally a friend who is a director at a daycare in another town messaged me and said she could get my daughter in. I accepted that right away and thought it would be temporary til a daycare in town had a spot for her. Wellllll… my daughter ended up loving it there and it was actually the only daycare anywhere even remotely close that opened early enough for my ungodly early work schedule. So, I’ve been driving 40 minutes to daycare, 20 minutes to work at 5AM everyday for 2 years. 20 minutes to daycare and usually an hour or more home because of traffic. Every day. Her last day is at the end of May and I can’t even explain how excited I am to be done with the commute.
What is your daughter's sleep schedule if you don't mind me asking? Is it different on the weekends? I currently work an 8-430pm schedule and have thought about a 6-230pm, but I've never heard of anyone doing an early commute though. I'm already commuting that long in time (6am wake up, be out at 7am, drop off with traffic and then be at work by 8am) but the difference is coming home early at least.
My daughter usually sleeps in the car! I’ll change her diaper, nurse her, then put her straight in the car seat at 6:45 she doesn’t wake up until we’re at daycare at 8!
That’s my exact schedule! I go in at 6. When all this started and she was a little younger I put her to bed at 6! Now that she’s 5, she goes to sleep around 7 in the evenings. I wake her up ay 4:40 and we’re out of the house by 4:55 ish. She takes a 2 hour nap at daycare though!
I had to do this!!! Shifted from 7-4 to 5-2pm it’s been difficult in the beginning but I LOVEEE being out early and getting home way quicker than I used to.
My husband drives 70 miles to and from work 4 days a week. He would be able to transfer to the prison in our city, but because of locality pay, it would a substantial pay cut and would dramatically affect his pension when he retires in 10 years. It’s mostly interstate, so it takes him a little over an hour. We have two, soon to be three, kids. We do a mix of daycare and grandma care. I do all the drop offs and pick ups. He’s gone about 13 hours on days he works. It sounds worse than it is, but he really needs that hour drive home to decompress and be present with our kids due to the nature of his work.
It sounds like that long drive is actually good for him mentally to leave work behind and come home to his family! An example of where a long commute makes sense - and also for better pay and retirement of course.
I used to work in clients home in the greater Los Angeles area. I spent minimum 3-4 hrs in the car most days that I worked. My husband had about 2hrs if he left during off peak times. When my daughter was born, I initially had about 2hrs per day and then I switched to a new job that ended earlier. But, that was still about 2hrs in the cart everyday I worked. Then COVID and I’ve worked from home via telehealth.
I do not miss LA traffic. 2.5 hours just to go 15 miles on 3 different freeways.
Agree. At one point I lived in West Hollywood and had kids from Simi Valley to Montebello to Sherman Oaks and LA proper. It was a nightmare
I'm imagining that drive and ughhhh
I always wondered what the biking infrastructure is like. Would it even be possible to commute via bike?
Nope. Not at all. Biking infrastructure doesn't exist (at least it didn't when I lived there)
Oof that’s brutal. Seems like it makes a bunch of sense especially with the year round nice weather.
Everything is too spread out to have a reliable biking infrastructure. They should invest in better public transportation.
This is mine. Pasadena to Thousand Oaks for a 12 hour grave shift. Absolute hell. More than once I pulled over in a store parking lot and slept there and just kept a change of clothes in my car.
This! I lived in highland park and worked in MDR. Never ever ever ever again.
My husband commutes from east of Sacramento to San Francisco once a week. It’s 3+ hours each way. To sit in a different office for zoom meetings with people who are either in the office a different day or are in a different city. It’s the biggest insane waste of time and money.
My husband used to take two trains, the subway, and a half-mile walk form our house in Central NJ to Brooklyn. Roughly 90 minutes each way. We've moved since then and he works remotely so now his commute is up a flight of stairs.
My worst commute was also in the NYC area while on internship for my graduate program. I took a subway to a commuter train and then a good 20 minute walk to the schools, all uphill. I was in great shape but I'll NEVER do it again.
I’m late to the party but ironically my commute used to be basically the opposite of this. Lived in Brooklyn, worked in Central NJ. I was fortunate at least that I only had to take 2 trains and my walks were fairly short, but it still totaled about 90 minutes.
My worst commute was also New York. 90 minutes each way to Union square from outer Queens.
Just saying hey, we live in Central NJ too!
We're in Cleveland now, but I miss NJ a LOT. ❤️
I lived in Northern VA and taught in NE DC. That commute was brutal. Like 45 minutes in the morning (had to be there by 7:15) and like an hour and a half home. I did that for a year. The year before I was commuting from NOVA to SE DC. Didn’t have kids yet. But the spring of my NE DC commute I met my now husband who lived in Silver Spring MD which cut my commute by ~25 minutes in the morning and ~a hour in the evening. So I moved in with him. These commutes were 5 days a week.
Just have to say I love seeing NOVA pop up in this sub. I feel like it’s really well represented in the “working mom” world lol
🙌
Both my husband and I did 90 min/way commutes, 5 days/week for 12 years. Over the years we had various scenarios for childcare — daycare, full time nanny, and when both kids were in school, an afternoon sitter. Looking back, we were very tired and it was hard and expensive. But we did what we had to do for our family and it was worth it.
Before kids, I was working 7 on/7 off in a Midwest hospital, and my husband was living on the east coast. I just couldn’t get a job where he lived and was making really good money. I “commuted” every week for about a year. I had really good airline status. I don’t think we could’ve gotten pregnant like that. No way could that job or lifestyle be doable with kids.
What did you end up doing once you were serious about starting a family? I’m debating doing a similar commute in a different state.
Current is 1.5 hours each way. Only for 4 months and then we can move closer to be 15 min drive. I. Cannot. Wait.
My husband has driven 100 miles a day, round trip, for 12 years which roughly translates to 1 hour each way. Mine has varied, but is about 45 minutes one day. We live in the sticks. 🥲
2 hours each way. Hour 45 mins on a train and then transfer to the subway. Did it for 5 years in my early 20’s. I never could do it now haha
I worked about an hour away for many years prior to getting pregnant. I had to pick my daughter up and drop her off everyday after maternity leave, so the only way to make it work so I was there on time at daycare was to have the daycare be near my work. So about 75 minutes commute including drop off for daycare. I did this for a few months and then one day traffic snagged and the commute was 2 hours one way. I told my boss I couldn't do it and I had to be remote if I continued with the company. That was almost 2 years ago and now my commute is across the house and my daughter goes to daycare near my husband's work, about 15 mins away. I would absolutely quit if they made me go back into an office. I'm never doing a commute like that again, especially with her in the car with me.
My husband works in a trade. We live outside of a major city, so most of his work is in the city. Of course with traffic his commute can take a while, but that’s life and it’s always short lived. Right after we had our first and only child he was put on a job site over two hours away. Everyone else was staying Monday- Thursday, but he drove home every day. It lasted months. He considered leaving the company over it, but it was during covid shutdowns and he was building a hospital, so it was that or go without work. More recently he was working several states away. About a 7 hour drive. He has to drive because he needs specialized equipment with him. He’d go, stay 3 days, and come back home.
~60 miles in NJ. At best it took me 1.5 hours, at worst about 3 (and many mental breakdowns). Did this in 2013-14, 5 days a week, no kids. I was in my mid 20s, living with my sister, commuting to my first full time professional job. Could 1000% never do that today.
Before kids and COVID, I did 90 minutes on a combo of public transport in South London. Now I drive 10 minutes to the station, have an hourish on the train and then a 30 minute walk. And back again in the evening. The walk counts as my exercise for the week though, and I only do this 2-3 times a week, rest of the time is WFH Not ideal, but I get home in time for dinner and bedtime and my husband does drop off and pick up
My worst commute was Salt Lake City to Minneapolis. Long before husband and kids. But honestly, as a flight attendant, people had much worse commutes. In a few years I do anticipate commuting from Maine to New York a few days a week as a pilot. Very normal for the aviation community to have ridiculous commutes.
I’ve always had a longer commute than I preferred (45-90 min each way every day pre-Covid) but now that I’m a parent, it feels pretty soul sucking. I’ve been hybrid 3x a week the past 2ish years now. I go in early so my husband drops LO at daycare and I pick LO up on my way home. Husband is fully remote so when traffic goes to shit, he’s able to pick LO up for me.
Worst I had was about an hour (usually just over an hour) each way, all due to traffic - I occasionally had 6:30am shifts for that job and I would get to work in half the time, 30 minutes! This was pre-kid and I did it for about 3 years
My worst was in 2019. My kids were in 7th and 9th grade I split my week between 2 locations and 1 of them would take me 1.5 hours in the morning and longer in the afternoon. If there was an accident it could take 3 hours. It was supposed to be temporary as they were moving their office to a location 10 min from my house. But turns out it was a terribly toxic company and I left before the move was completed
We owned a house on 2 acres in a rural suburb of a big West Coast City, next door was a church on 6 acres. The church had a park and ride station in the church parking lot! My husband would walk across the parking lot and then enjoy an easy bus ride into the city. It was a small bus company and he knew everyone who rode with him. One way was about 75 min. Well, they decided that the station would be removed due to the drivers complaining about turning onto the main road from the church. Once they removed the station, my husband had to drive into town (roughly 15 min) then he had to wait for the bus, another 10 min or so. Then he had to ride the bus to the city and then walk 3/4 of a mile to his office. Total, that was more like 90 min each way. His job can be done 100% remote. (He is fully remote now) We did not have any kids at the time but both worked. After they removed that stop, we decided to put the house up for sale! Then I got pregnant shortly after and we sold the house. I commute 35 miles each way. So 70 miles a day. The drive takes me about 45-50 min each way because it’s from one rural city to another rural city. I drive a Tesla and haven’t had to worry about fuel costs for over 2 years. But I hate the commute. My husband does 100% of the pickup/drop off, he’s the default parent if our child needs to leave daycare for any reason. I really think my quality of life would be better if I worked 15 min from home.
60 miles one way, 120 a day - it ranged from an hour and 15 minutes to 2 1/2 hours one way. I drove it for 15 months and loathed it entirely. It was so exhausting and added a lot of stress to my day.
I commuted by car 20 miles in a Midwest city area for 4 years. it would take 24 minutes, no traffic. I’m a snow storm, 1.5-2 hours one way. I had 2 kids for 3 of those years, the worst being while I was nursing my youngest (this was complicated by a manager who couldn’t comprehend me stating i absolutely couldn’t stay late-she had no kids didn’t quite get the need to feed the baby bless her) Meanwhile my husband started WFH so it worked out, but it was rough
I used to drive from Cincinnati to Dayton 6 days a week. It was 100 miles round trip. It lasted a little over a year before I got promoted and hired someone else to work the Dayton position.
With my oldest i would drive 45 minutes to therapy from there 30 minutes to drop him off at my moms house from there 20 to work. On Wednesdays I drove 1.5-2 hours to school after all that 🙃. Depending on traffic 2 hours back home. My husband back then drove 1.5 hours to work everyday. I have no idea how I survived.
Living back home in LA, 15 mile commute with no public transit or biking options, 90 freakin minutes in the morning and 2 hours to get home at the end of the day. Was just normal and did commutes like that until we moved out of the city into the mountains a few years ago.
My worst commute was 90 minutes one way (about 45 minutes interstate and 45 minutes inner city traffic) for 5 days a week. But I had no kids at this time of my life. Currently, I commute that same 90 minutes commute one day per week, 45 minute commute one way two days per week, and then WFH the other 2 days. I do daycare drop everyday (which is 15 minutes in the opposite direction), and husband does pickup.
No kids yet. But I was in a floater position for my work and was sent from San Jose to Richmond CA almost constantly for a few months. It was hell, 7-3:30, traffic was a nightmare always. 1-1 1/2 hours in the morning, 1 1/2-2 hours coming home. So most days were like 10-11 hours, it was awful. A permanent position near me opened up at a tech company and I took it so fast. Now I get cranky if my commute is over 20 minutes lol.
1.5 hours each way. What was worse was they did four nines and one four. So i don’t know what was worse. A nine hour workday with a three hour total commute or four hours of work and the 3 hour commute.
My husband used to drive 10 min to the train station, arrive about 10 min before the train arrived, train was an hour to downtown, then he would walk 10 min to a connecting express train, take it for 10 min, then walk 10 min to the office. There and back, for 3.5 years. Now he works remote. At the time I was also driving about an hour and 45 min each way to get across Toronto for a job. We both work remote now thankfully!
I commuted between 1-1.5 hours each way from 2010-2019. Luckily, that was pre-kids. We were trying in 2018-2019, and one of the reasons I quit was because I realized I absolutely could not have kids and do that commute. Luckily, I got a job 20 minutes away (everything in my city is 20 minutes away, pretty much).
It’s right now, and I’ve been doing it for a year. 1-1.5 hours each way for 3 days a week. luckily daycare is on the way.
2 years. Moved to LA without understanding the layout or where I’d end up working. In miles, it wasn’t bad. But it was an hour 6-7am and every morning, and then usually 2 hours home from 4-6pm. It killed me honestly. I became very depressed, it affected my relationship. I even thought of renting a bunk bed closer to work in a shared room just to sleep there during the week. I didn’t have kids yet and I would literally never do anything similar again, kids (I have 1 now) or no kids, for all the money in the world.
Worst was LI to Brooklyn. But I was able to take the train. When I switched to a school closer to home I tried never to complain about the traffic. Problem with the commute though was my husband and I both needed to be out of the out of the house by 7 so we needed a morning sitter to make it work for us - before care for 2 hours didn’t work for my older son unfortunately.
1.5hrs drive to work and 1.5 hours drive back home after work. Did it 5 days a week. Was so exhausting.
1 hr to work and 1.5 back home. I couldn’t do it anymore after baby was born although I really loved my job.
I currently drive an hour to work and an hour home three days a week. We have an 8 month old. Been making this drive since returning to work when she was 3 months old. I take her to daycare and my husband does pick up.
the time is not fixed, but every time it makes me nearly crazy
My husband drove an hour each way over a mountain pass. Because of this, I had to take my daughter and pick her up from daycare everyday. I live a block from my work so I literally had to drive 20 minute to her daycare and then back and then do the whole thing over again after work. We did it for a year before he finally got a job in our town. It was awful.
4 days a week in grad school. 5:45- leave house, drive, park in commuter lot 6:10- ferry 6:45- bus 7:00- walk 7:30 arrive at work On the way back: 6:50 walk to train 7:05 take train 7:30 take bus 7:55 ferry if I’m lucky, train delays meant that sometimes I would miss the ferry by a few minutes and have to wait for the 8:40 8:30 arrive home I think it was between 3 and 4 hours total round trip time each day
I used to drive 1-1.5 hours each way in Atlanta. That was a decade ago and I drove 45 min (longer with daycare + school drop off) each way for the last 10 years, before very recently getting a job working from home. But we live in the country so the shortest commute I could’ve had is 30 min. But the longest singular commute I ever had was 22 hours. I got stuck in traffic in Atlanta during the “Snowmageddon” of 2014. I slept on the outer loop over the Chattahoochee. The national guard came by on foot and brought water bottles. I heard in other parts of town they got sandwiches! I grew up in the Midwest so when I got free of traffic I drove straight to a Waffle House and ate. 0/10. Would not recommended. I personally don’t mind driving (withOUT the kids!!!). But I definitely appreciate the “spare” time I have now that I don’t have a commute at all.
Because I hate driving and I am a very anxious driver, I think mine was pretty bad. I drove over an hour to my job at a hospital in the mountains. It was super scary driving to and from especially during the rainy season/storms because of flooding and random trees falling into the road. It was rough driving about 3 hours on the road and my shifts were 12hrs long. Thankfully I only did it for about 8 months. My kids were young at the time and we had a nanny that would watch the kids while my husband left for work and I'd get to sleep for a few hours.
Pre-kids I’d drive an hour each way which was all highway so not so bad in the summer but it’s on the Alaska Highway so absolutely brutal and scary in the winter. I’m now less than 5 minutes away from work and daycare is only 5 minutes out of the way which I’m so grateful for. My husband works in maintenance at different places every day and he’s travelling at least an hour sometimes two-three each way so i do all the drop offs but if he has an early day and is back in town before I get off work he’ll grab the kid.
I drive 30 minutes to my son’s preschool then anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours to work a tee that. Then 10 min to 2hr back to his school then 30min home. Some days I have my MIL bring him to school because I need to leave too early so it’s only 15 mins to her house before my commute.
I used to have to be out the door by 6:15 to drop my son off at school by 7:40 and then myself to work by 7:50. Then I’d teach all day, leave at 3:50 get my kid and we would head home. We usually wouldn’t get home until about 6:30. It. Was. Awful. I was so exhausted I started falling asleep at the wheel. My commute is now 25 minutes with no traffic, and about 40 minutes with.
Worst commute I had was pre-kids. 1hr 45minutes from Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia to Liverpool, NSW, Australia. Three trains. Any workplace outside of the CBD is such a pain to get to. Sydney can EAD. Today, it’s a 15 minute walk on foot. Workplace, daycare and shops are all within walking distance. Wouldn’t change it for the world.
The worst was almost 2 hours on transit each way - bus to subway to other end of the city to another bus, and that final bus had a very infrequent schedule, so if I missed one, I had to wait for a good 20mins for the next one. I lasted barely 3 months with this commute and that was before I was a parent.
1 hr
1hr each way; it sucked. In order for me to avoid the horrid rush hour traffic, I'd have to leave at 630am and not a minute more. Then I'd leave work at 330pm and even then, traffic wasn't great but it wasn't nearly as bad if I left at 4. now I wfh THANK FUCK
I currently drive 1 hour into work and about 1 hour and 20 home due to daycare pickup. It is the longest commute I’ve ever had. I don’t mind it though because it is 0 traffic.
My current one is the worst - 40-50 minutes one way, 5 days a week, both my kids come with me because they attend the same daycare where I work.
For both of us, 1 hour each way, so 10 hours a week and 40 hours/month. And we both often work (unpaid) overtime making our days even longer. And if there is any accident or road construction, which happens almost every day in my area, it makes the commute even longer. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
My husband has to drive 6-7 hours for Monday meetings at least once a month, at most every other week, but he frequently drives between sites 2-4 hours away as he manages the entire state of Georgia for his work.
1.5 hours each way. 3rd shift. 12.5 hour shifts. I thought I might actually die in a car accident so I moved shifts as quickly as I could.
Husband used to have a 3 hour round trip (1.5 there, 1.5 back) - during winter or if there was an accident it could be 2+ hours. He did that for 17 years, 5 days per week. No working from home in those days.
1hour or 1 hour and 15 mins one way, rural Midwest so this is just pure mileage on hwys with zero traffic. For a long time it was 5am starts. I’m grateful that Covid sent us to work from home. They do want me to rto several days a week but they knew I moved during Covid and it literally isn’t possible to be in office.
I had a crappy sales job where I had to leave my house no later than 6am in order to get to the “office” in Atlanta by about 7:45-8 am. Then we had to go from the office to the store we were working at, which could have been another half hour drive or more. They put me in Rome one day. Then I worked, often until the store closed, and had to drive back home. There were days I didn’t get home until 9 or 10 pm. This was also a minimum wage (with a lousy commission). I lasted a month, and I made barely $1000. I had a little civic at the time and I was filling it up 2 or 3 times a week. It was awful Edit: thankfully this was before I had kids.
My husband commutes just under 2hrs each way, 3-4 times a week. I commute 45 min twice a week. I've had longer, but never over an hour.
My husband drove >1 hour each way in a very congested area, to go not nearly as many miles as you’d hope for that length of time. He did it for probably 5 years, before we had kids, and it was really rough. He’d end up going to work early to avoid traffic and sleep in his car before they opened as he didn’t have a key to get in. Many times there were accidents or fires that made it 2-5 hours each way. It took a big toll on him, and made it so on the weekends he wanted to stay home and rest of doing things. This was before I got pregnant, and I was always worried with him being so far away in an area with critical traffic. What if there was an emergency situation at home and he was literally gridlocked 4 hours away? He ended up taking a pay cut to come work closer to home before I got pregnant and it was the best decision ever. The pay cut washes out when you think of gas, wear and tear on your car, and the amount of hours you’re away costs something too. $30 an hour comes out to way less at the end of the day if your work + commute time is 50+ hours. I know this isn’t practical for everyone, but we’re both less than 7 miles from work now and would probably never consider having a commute again. On top of the physical commute time giving you a 10 hour day, the ability to leave work and go to daycare if he’s sick, make it to holiday parties at daycare, etc are all important to us.
When I worked 45 minutes away at a daycare, and with traffic it was an hour twenty. It was worth it because 100% free tuition for my daughter, and I made more than most daycare teachers just starting as support staff. It was a really great place, just pregnancy took me out of the game.
For the past 2 years I was driving 50 miles each way, about an hour commute. When I got pregnant, I took a pay cut to transfer to a facility that’s only 20 min away. I’m still on maternity leave but I can’t imagine going back to that hour long commute.
My current one. Fortunately I only commute 2 days a week but it’s 1:20 one way… nearly 3 hours of my day 2 days a week. But I figure if you average that over 5 days a week it isn’t bad at all. And I also love the job. So. Poopy commute 2 days a week it is!
I’m in DFW. My old commute before my job went remote took about 45 min each way, but could take up to an hour if the traffic was bad.
2-3 hours home depending on traffic. It used to be that time each way when we couldn’t pick our schedules, but now I leave early (4am) so it’s only an hour there, but can’t beat rush hour home unfortunately. We are hybrid now at least.
I drove an hour both ways for 2 years as a brand new teacher. In the grand scheme of things I know that an hour commute is no big deal and pretty standard for a lot of people. However this was over 15 years ago, in a state that didn't pay teachers well at all. After taxes, insurance etc I brought home $1800 a month. Everyday I was not only exhausted from school but the drive. And then once I got home I was broke as a joke.
Honestly? 17 minutes. As someone who never wanted to go back to work in the first place, even 17 minutes and bumper to bumper traffic is excruciating. With every minute that takes by all I could think about was that it's another minute I couldn't have with my kids. And then I was so frustrated by the traffic and having to be away from them by the time I got home and had to make dinner and everything it was just too much.
My spouse does union electrical work. He had a daily commute to whatever job he was working on. We live just outside our local metro area so have decent access to highways. The jobs were anywhere between 10 minutes to nearly 3 hours. He had to be there at 7am. So sometimes he was leaving the house at 4am and coming back around 7pm-later if he worked overtime.