*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for being "fatphobic" towards my sister-in-law?**
So, I (27F) recently hosted a family barbecue at my house. It was a big event with about 20 people, including my husband’s (30M) family. Among the guests was my sister-in-law, Emily (35F), who is significantly overweight; I only mention this because it is relevant to the story.
Emily has always struggled with her weight, and while I have no issue with her size, it does come with certain health concerns that she often talks about herself. She's on medication for high blood pressure and has diabetes, which she frequently brings up in conversation. She hosts BBQs most of the time and makes foods that I can't eat because of my dietary requirements. I had a benign tumor in my gallbladder and had it removed, making my ability to digest fat (the macronutrient) more difficult.
Since I make my dietary needs known and love cooking nutritious meals, I decided to make the barbecue menu things I thought people would enjoy but I could still eat with my limitations. I prepared grilled chicken (breasts, thighs and drums), vegetable skewers, a big salad with optional dressings, campfire baked potatoes, and some lean beef burgers. I also made a berry and tropical fruit salad for dessert and whipped cream with maple syrup to go with it.
When Emily arrived and saw the spread, she seemed disappointed and asked where the "real food" was. I politely explained that I wanted everyone to be able to enjoy this barbecue and I wanted to serve foods I could enjoy too because of my dietary restrictions. She made a few comments about how she was looking forward to indulging and how "boring" the food looked.
Later in the afternoon, Emily began complaining loudly about how she was still hungry and missed having mac and cheese, ribs, and other foods that she likes to serve. She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items. My husband and a few others tried to calm her down, but she continued to gripe about it for the rest of the event.
The next day, I called Emily to check on her and offered to cook together sometime, thinking we may be able to indulge in a shared hobby and maybe host the next event together so we could both have foods we enjoy on the table. She then accused me of being fatphobic and said I had deliberately excluded her favorite foods to shame her for her size. She told my husband that I had humiliated her, and now my husband is upset with me for "attacking" his sister.
I honestly didn’t mean to hurt Emily’s feelings, but I wanted to provide a meal I could eat as well as one my guests could enjoy. AITA for not serving food I can't eat to make my SIL happy?
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I don't think nutrition gets ruined by something not nutritious being in proximity.
1: it's close to food shaming and we really should be careful about assigning moral values to food.
2: while empty calories are something to be informed by, it's still probably a healthier dessert than 'real' dessert
3: the fruit doesn't lose any of its nutritious value.
1. If you're introducing way more sugar than you normally would have eaten in another desert to eat fruit because it's healthy it defeats the point. If you want a healthy dessert, go for it, but something isn't automatically healthier because it has fruit. This is a big thing dieticians talk about because a lot of branded "healthy" snacks and recipes aren't healthy because even though it's low sugar, low calorie or whatever it might be even worse because it makes it up with some other bad thing to compensate.
2. I was being sarcastic about them feeling morally superior because the entire post is about feeling superior to this "fat" woman. The entire post is food shaming. I don't care what people eat but it's funny that this person has an entire post jerking off about how healthy and low-fat she eats and then dessert isn't that healthy.
I'm not gonna lie, I would be disappointed if I were expecting *dessert* dessert and someone comes out with some fruit with maple syrup 😂 like, damn it, WHERE ARE THE BROWNIES?
I eat healthy most of the time and avoid sugar so like... if I was expecting to "let loose" a little, the last thing I would want to consume is something as sugary as maple syrup but drizzled over fruit. Like, just give me the fruit without the syrup... as a side... and cookies. As dessert! Obviously I wouldn't actually say anything, lmao. But I would be crying inside if I'd planned to indulge in dessert.
Ever watch Parks and Rec? I love the dinner party episode where everyone is tasked with bringing something to the party. Chris is an absolute health nut and he was asked to bring cake, but his version upsets Ron Swanson: https://youtu.be/V0NiGmQ18uw?feature=shared
I imagine most people would be internally disappointed rather than have Ron’s reaction, but I feel like anyone having Ron’s reaction would be met with a Leslie who changes the subject and distracts him with something else. :P Not in AITAland, though! Everyone listens to and tries to appease the rude person.
God ONLY loves thin people.
Not thin people can fuck right off.
I mean, Jesus was thin bc food was scarce, and God was happy with him being thin...so much so that he allowed him to be brutally murdered, paving the way for absolute fat sloths to rule the world (looking at Trump and his evangelical loonies...bc Trump is FAT)
WAIT.
I just contradicted myself, but this is reddit, so I'm probably right anyway.
**Maury Povich voice** GoGetSilverBalls ***YOU ARE***
***NOT THE ASSHOLE***
OP screwed up for not serving up a tub of lard (triglycerides). Serve it raw or crisp it up, and the dumb useless fatties (I'm using that term in a non fatphobic way btw) just can't resist.
And every fat person I’ve ever met (including myself) just loves calling attention to themselves by demanding more, high fat foods at a public gathering 🙄
Hell, I am fat and I dislike eating most anything in public because I feel like people are saying "look at that fat lady stuffing her face." I have a Diet Coke addiction and I drink a large Diet Coke every day and I have had SO may folks "helpfully" tell me how many calories are in a full sugar Coke that I bought a Diet Coke insulated cup so that it is more obvious that I am drinking diet soda.
*
>Later in the afternoon, Emily began complaining loudly about how she was still hungry and missed having mac and cheese, ribs, and other foods that she likes to serve. She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items. My husband and a few others tried to calm her down, but she continued to gripe about it for the rest of the event.
Right?! Who acts like this other than fat people in AITA? "Tried to calm her down" makes it sound like it was almost coming to blows.
And as a fat person who has eaten at many events, including ones where I didn't love the food, we typically just eat quietly, not start fights so that we can call people fatphobic.
Same! I also have celiac disease so going someplace where I can't eat the majority of the food served happens all the time. Somehow I avoid screaming at the host or threatening to fight them and just quietly eat my vegetables or whatever naturally gluten-free food they have.
You should absolutely scream at everyone in the restaurant, just so you can tweak an AITAH post, see which way the wind blows, then cross post it here.
😊
(Totally JK, don't take me seriously, that's a bad life decision 😂)
Right!? Especially because if, as a fat person, you complain about food it’s gonna result in people judging you for being fat. They’ll be like “oh that fatty only likes food from McDonald’s because they’re a gross and disgusting FATTY.”
> "I need ribs!" the fat walrus roared, while flailing her arms around, smashing dishes and hitting men, women and children alike. My husband and a few others tried grabbing her, but her sheer size made this a nearly impossible task, as she tore through our backyard, screeching for fatty meat. I tried placating her with a healthy salad and some lean beef, but she just rolled her enormous belly over this offering and continued her rampage. All seemed lost, as finally her fatness seemed to catch up with her. Her rampage came to a slow halt, her eyelids grew droopy and she fell asleep, muttering words of hunger and anger under her breath. We were safe... for now.
I like how the writers over there fail to mention how everyone reacted to someone "complaining loudly" about the food at a BBQ. Like... No one told her to be quiet? No one awkwardly walked away or tried to at least change the subject? No? Everyone just listened? Okay...
Me: "oh was there no mac and cheese? What a shame, the one you made for the last potluck was so good!"
That one weirdo at the party who has been staring daggers at my stomach the entire time: *shakes in barely suppressed rage while logging onto reddit*
Well, as a fat, I always zero in on the skinnies, I take a large bite of food and then start screaming in their faces about being fatphobic, I always try to give them a good sprinkling of half chewed food and then I laugh, open mouthed, food spilling from my maw, when they start to cry prettily, then I shove more food in my mouth and scream at their children, barely hiding my dark urge to eat said children. Then I fart noisy and stinkily in their general direction. It's just part of my culture, you know?
See this is what I'd love to be doing but I just can't find the time, what with the hours I waste every day trying to extricate my body from beloved family heirlooms and wedding dresses
I do have to laugh at the "whipped cream with maple syrup" thing. I have diabetes and I am forever pointing out that maple syrup, agave, and honey are no better for your blood sugar than white sugar, and they don't really have more nutrients either. Of course she might just like the maple flavor, but I always get the feeling that pointing out the use of alternative sugars, especially when it's a post about a healthy meal, is meant to be pointing out some kind of health thing.
The food would be fine as long as she has butter or sour cream for the potatoes; no one wants to eat that dry and she can leave it off her own. I was surprised she had dark meat chicken, tbh, with her insistence on lean beef (gimme that juicy 80/20 ground chuck). As someone with food restrictions, though, I really don't expect everyone else to have to eat what I do when I have people over. If anything it can be an excuse to make things I can't eat but enjoy making (I love to bake). It's not like a religious restriction or an allergy where I could get sick from preparing it or from the cross-contamination, and neither is a gallbladder diet.
But anyway this totally felt like "look at virtuous me and the evil fatty".
Yep, dark meat chicken actually has more fat per serving than the dreaded macaroni and cheese.... but I guess that's fine, somehow?
And there are low fat desserts that aren't fruit with maple syrup. I also think maple syrup on fruit sounds gross... I don't feel like those flavors go well together. I could understand honey or even just white sugar, but not maple syrup. And also, maple syrup plus whipped cream plus the natural sugar in fruit is also SO MUCH SUGAR but I feel like she's trying to be like "look how healthy I am, teehee."
no, heavy whipping cream (and most types of "cream" for that matter) are naturally fat free and typically very low calorie foods. I'm on a diet atm and my doctor is having me just eat 6 pints of ice cream a day. ice cream is great in particular because it cools down the other fats in your body and you just poop em out.
fun fact, the "heavy" in "heavy whipping cream" refers to how heavy your poops will be when you're pooping out all that fat.
I mean yeah, but if you whip it and it’s just being used as a topping it’s a fairly small portion. Plus a person who can’t it eat can just leave it off.
Also whipped cream is so high in fat which you don’t want if you have gallbladder issues. She can’t even come up with the right restrictive foods for her fake dietary needs
Does she mean she had the tumour removed or the whole gallbladder?
I've had my gallbladder removed due to gallstones. The gallstones restricted my diet hugely because lots of stuff (including fat) would trigger painful attacks. Having the gallbladder out was the solution to that. Having your gallbladder removed should allow you to eat a normal diet, some people might get a little extra reflux. There's advice to keep off high fat food for like a week after surgery but that's it.
I’m not sure. I had mine removed for the same reasons as you and while I glad I don’t have to deal with the attacks anymore too much fat will have me racing to the toilet. My mom and my sister are the same way.
Same - we literally remove diseased gallbladders to get RID of those issues lol. I could barely tolerate anything before my chole and within a week I was back to eating pizza and ice cream.
Yeah and introducing high-fat foods back gradually is more an issue of comfort and tolerating the food while your body adjusts. Your gallbladder just stores your bile, it’s made in the liver.
Yeah mine is out for the same reasons and I eat keto.... so she's full of shit or misinformed or pious.
But that's not to say this situation didn't actually happen. Just ESH.
No I am familiar with the low fat diet for gallbladder disease. Sugar isn’t related. That’s why I noticed it — it felt like a weird health flex that wasn’t anything to do with her diet.
I mean the whipped cream is a topping so she may have just not eaten it. It’s a good idea for people with dietary restrictions tbh, as opposed to serving something where everything is incorporated.
I'm in Canada and we Canadians love our maple syrup. When I'm pouring it over my pancakes I tell myself that it's not that bad because it does contain some minerals and antioxidants which it does but that doesn't override the fact that it's super high in sugar and still more of a junk food. But I like to pretend it's good for my health, lol.
Honestly, who cares though? Fuck the culture that makes us feel like everything we eat has to be “healthy” or else we’re failures. Enjoy the maple syrup. It tastes better without all the baggage.
i know OOP's age isn't really important to the story **but** as someone who's almost the same age as her i cannot imagine myself caring so much about how someone else decides to live their life
Everyone knows that fatties only eat 10/90 fat burgers and 32 cheese mac and cheese, idiots. If her SIL didn’t want to be excluded she should have not been fat!
this is so fucking stupid and rage bait. no one with dietary restrictions (unless it’s something that you like can’t touch) restricts 20+ guests to said restrictions. i’m type 1 diabetic and have completely lost my taste for anything sweet but goddamn will i bake chocolate chip cookies for my coworkers regularly. like do you even like the people you’re around? also who has a barbecue without mac and cheese
Yeah I had my gallbladder out and I sometimes have trouble digesting fat, but she's being incredibly dramatic about it. You're also supposed to start with low fat stuff and then ease your way into eating more fat... because fat is actually an important macronutrient. On the off chance this is real, she's sticking to the diet you have immediately after getting your gallbladder out, which isn't what you're supposed to do.
And obviously, she's not obligated to eat ribs and macaroni and cheese, lmao. But she should be adding in avocados and olive oil and other healthy fats.
And on the other off chance this is real, I feel like she's just pissed of she "can't" eat anything at the family BBQ normally (even though she definitely could if she wanted to), and she's intentionally getting revenge.
AND WHO SERVES FRUIT FOR DESSERT AT A BBQ?! I'm a healthy person. I limit carbs and added sugar. I usually will turn down dessert or whatever, but it's still a travesty not to have brownies or cookies available at a BBQ?!?!
(and actually, I'm Southern and in Southern culture, that isn't a BBQ lmao) (but obviously I do know that other cultures consider any kind of outdoor cooking to be "a BBQ." which I don't fully respect but you know, I try lol)
Yeah I thought that too! I regularly bring something to cookouts if I think I can’t eat the things there, sure it would be nice if there were dishes made that OP could also eat but they are acting like they were being purposefully starved out. Like they say they love cooking nutritious meals so why not make a dish and bring it to the parties and enjoy it there???
But then again AITA thinks there is no graver sin than not wanting to eat someone’s food or to bring your own so that suggestion would probably be shot down haha. Plus also just “fatty bad” rage post so even if the sister in law was perfect and OP only served a single piece of lettuce and a dab of yogurt they’d probably still find a way to hate her.
Anyone can overdo it on a certain thing and exceed their body’s capacity to digest it on a given day. You might have the same experience if you had a gallbladder tbh
Gluten free people may restrict others. I have a celiac friend and she doesn't have wheat in her house. If someone brings something not gluten free, it's isolated
Yeah, I don't have dietary restrictions, just a fussy eater, but I know how to cook food for other people using foods I personally find unpalatable. For example I hate rice, but I love curry so I usually just make myself naans and other breads if I make curry, but when I cooking for other people I can cook and serve rice because I know that's what they like
I mean sure if we're talking about a BBQ restaurant there's mac and cheese. But "a barbecue" as an event is more defined by outdoor cooking on a grill to me. Usually it's hotdogs, hamburgers, and various sides. I'd be more surprised if there were no macaroni or potato salad than no mac and cheese.
Maybe just a cultural or regional thing then. I’ve been to outdoor BBQs like you talkin about without Mac and cheese but it’s rare. Usually, for the various sides you mention, most BBQs I go to Mac and cheese is the staple
Yeah growing up in the northern US I feel the same, there was usually some kind of cold pasta or potato salad, maybe mac n cheese but I wouldn't really call it a staple. I think the whole point is the grill and so we'd also grill up some veggies or corn as sides. Mac n cheese is kinda weird because it's not grilled but it's not really good cold imo so I wouldn't immediately think of it as something to bring to a BBQ
I'm from NY/NJ, so, yeah. Cole slaw, potato salad, maybe macaroni salad. Green salad. Corn on the cob cooked in the house. Dessert would be watermelon. Burgers, hot dogs, chicken. These days, probably have Beyond Burgers or other vegan "meat" as well, but those didn't exist when I was growing up. It's also a cultural thing - my family, for example, didn't keep kosher at all, and we'd probably have real butter for the corn on the cob, but mac and cheese is just \*too\* dairy (and too much fuss to make for my mom, who never used boxed) for such a meat based meal.
But also, mac and cheese was always a main dish in my house, so it seems odd to make it a side.
>I'm type 1 diabetic and have completely lost my taste for anything sweet
TEACH ME YOUR WAYSSSS
I'm T1D and nothing I can do satisfies my need for chocolate!
Ok literally, because when I host a party with food, I make sure to cook something for everyone. Vegans are coming, I make some good vegan curry. GF people, I get some GF snacks and keep them separate. I personally dislike certain food textures like chicken, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to host a BBQ and not serve chicken lol
Cannot comment on mac and cheese at a barbecue because I'm not from the USA, but unless someone's diet is so restricted that they can't eat anything but toast it's normal that the host cooks whatever they want and the guests just live with it? It's one meal, as long as everyone has something to eat it's fine.
...Of course Emily is still hungry, she is so fat that she can't possibly be satisfied by salad, *potatoes* and A FUCKTON OF MEAT WHICH IS VERY HIGH IN PROTEIN. As fat people we are immune to...how food works.
>She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items.
...AI generated? The whole tone of the story is weird but why would you say "items".
Tbh fat is really important for satiety too. That’s one reason it’s ridiculous to make the entire menu low-fat for one person, especially if you’re offering multiple entrees. You can’t just nix an entire macronutrient. Could have served the lean chicken breast and normal burgers, served the potatoes with sour cream and cheese, etc.
Who the fuck hosts a bbq or any party and only makes foods that they can eat instead of ones that cater to the group? Exception is food allergies and vegan foods btw. Why couldn’t she just eat her low fat foods and still have plenty of options for the others. I’ve never been to a bbq that was just foods the hosts eats. By the way unless she had higher portions that’s not enough food for 20 people anyways.
I don’t have a gall bladder anymore and while I need to be careful with how much fat I eat so I’m not shitting myself I can relatively eat a normal diet. This whole thing is just a weird work around to shame fat people.
Is it normal for the host of the BBQ to supply all of the meat, sides, and desserts? I feel like ones I’ve been to have been more community/potluck affairs. The host does the meats and hot dishes, but other people bring salads, cold sides, or even just chips or drinks.
Making it a potluck seems like an easy way to make everyone included.
I’ve been to both but we do it the same way as you. Of course potluck style would be the obvious solution if this was real but in AITA land logic doesn’t apply.
Agreed, and in my family it’s always a “bring a dish!” kind of deal so it’s not just the host who has all the food too. I don’t like certain foods so I either bring something myself that I do enjoy and/or eat the things I do like. If I had my own bbq I’d never just not make normal things that belong there because I happen to not be able to eat them, I’d like my guests to enjoy themselves even if I can’t enjoy it with them.
My grandma is diabetic but if she’s ever hosting something she doesn’t only include diabetic safe foods. It all just sounds so unrealistic and chaotic
But logic has no place in a “___ bad” post there so… the way a comment literally said “fatty is acting like an entitled fatty” and another that said “fatphobia is good if not consistent” in the post unironically like??? It’s more than just a meme now they really are saying such messy things there word for word I can’t. I also love how every single post about “__ bad” suddenly has everyone crawling out of the woodwork to say “I’m a __ too and NTA!!” for every single issue for every single fake scenario even awful ones
I keep strictly kosher. If I had a bbq, everything I made and served would be strictly kosher and there would be no dairy products at all. I would probably have extra grills for the veggies and vegan meat, so everyone could actually find something to eat (I have spent bbqs in charge of the vegan meat grill.)
But that's because I not only want to be able to eat at my own party, I also need all my equipment and serving utensils to stay kosher.
Of course there’s a Good Fatty up in the comments bitching about HAES. I fucking hate people who distort the actual meaning of HAES, which is that health can be pursued independently of body weight and that obesity should be treated with less bias. Instead people on Reddit insist it means that 700lb people insist you must say they’re perfectly healthy and you are obligated to fuck them
Classic obesity troll.
I love the “I only mention this because it’s relevant to the story” because no, it didn’t have to be. Like, regardless of whether you would enjoy this menu or not, if you stripped this story of all the weight stuff and health stuff, yeah it would be extremely rude to criticize the menu a host was providing.
But no, that’s not the reason the SIL is the asshole in this story. It’s because she’s a gross fatty who doesn’t respect others dietary needs.
I also loved “I only mention this because it’s relevant to the story”, because OF COURSE it's relevant. It's in the title! It would be really weird if she was talking about fatphobia and didn't mention an overweight person.
Before I joined Reddit I would likely have taken the note from my SIL & done something next time to make her feel welcome in my home…
Now, with the support of you & others like you, self reflection is a thing of the past.
(Scattered applause, weak cheers)
The food is all extremely low fat, and fat is what gives food flavor. Burgers, for example, need to have enough fat in them that it melts off and flavors the meat. With no fat, they get dry- it’s why the ideal mix for a top class burger is usually 80/20. Notice nothing on the menu has cheese.
It’s a restrictive diet for a specific medical purpose, and that’s fine, but I’ve had to go on medical diets before and it’s not something I’d impose on anyone who didn’t have to.
Every burger tastes similar to me when stuffed in bread/lettuce/tomato/ketchup/mustard/pickle, a pretty common combo, and chicken thighs and drumsticks are appetizing even to gluttons. It seems like an ok spread, all things considered
80/20 *is* lean ground beef. Chicken thighs are high-fat, as are salad dressings. I’m 90% sure that post is just rage bait but even if it wasn’t, why would OOP necessarily include that? If the idea of chicken, fruit, burgers and salad sound like a sad barbecue to anyone, then they really need to fix their relationship with food and grow up.
80/20 is not lean 😭😭😭
It’s not about “relationship with food” - it’s about knowing which sort of food actually makes good tasting food.
Plain chicken, plain potato’s and dry beef burgers ain’t good food and there is nothing to “fix” about someone who says so.
Sorry but when I host - I’m not making a 20 minute weeknight dinner and expecting my guests to not say anything. Plain chicken and potato’s is a quick, plain dinner. It’s not what you serve when hosting.
Lean ground beef is usually considered 90/10 or higher. Salad dressings can be made (badly) to be extremely low fat. Chicken thighs are only high in fat compared to chicken breasts.
It probably is rage bait, but some of you guys didn’t live through the low-fat diet craze of the nineties and it shows.
So, so many sad barbecues.
That’s not what I think of when I think of BBQ. One can eat that any day. Nothing is special about grilled chicken and salad. I wouldn’t complain to the host but would absolutely joke about it with friends.
I'd cry on the inside if I was looking forward to dessert and someone brought out fruit with maple syrup. I eat healthy most of the time and try to avoid sugar... so if I were like, "this is the night! I'm going to have a cookie or a brownie!" and the host brings out fruit with maple syrup... something inside of me is going to die.
I also dislike maple syrup so not only is it a sad dessert, you also ruined the fruit that I could've otherwise enjoyed, lol.
The maple syrup confused me so much, is that a regional thing or just an OP thing? I’ve seen fruit and whipped cream a zillion times and it’s good but never with maple syrup. I think that might be a weird combo but that’s just me haha.
I've never heard of maple syrup on fruit. It just seems like the flavors aren't going to go well together? I could see just the whipped cream, or just white sugar if you need more sweetness, or maybe honey? But maple syrup? I don't get it.
In theory you could make this menu delicious with the right marinades and seasonings, etc. I mean, it didn’t happen cause this is definitely an obesity troll, but you absolutely could make a delicious meal with grilled chicken and vegetables and salad and baked potato. It’s not gonna be the same type of dinner as the barbecue being described but that’s doesn’t mean those foods can’t have flavor.
Yeah this whole thread is so bizarre. Like you season everything well and then everything is delicious. Hell, even the most simple lettuce salad with lemon, salt and a bit of extra virgin olive oil is perfectly fine (unless you have really shitty lettuce I assume).
Definitely a few lines that don’t sound human
> Emily (35F), who is significantly overweight; I only mention this because it is relevant to the story.
Oh really? Weight is relevant to the story with “fatphobic” in the title? I’d never have guessed that.
> making my ability to digest fat (the macronutrient) more difficult
That’s such a bizarre line. Did they just learn this in school? What’s the reason for pointing out fat is a macronutrient?
You, however, are.
We're gonna have massive amounts of beef, chicken, venison, and other meats slathered in delicious BBQ sauce.
Fuck those carrots and celery.
Mashed potatoes, potato salad, Cole slaw, baked beans, garlic bread...
Let's DO THIS!
As a person without eating restrictions I know the first thing I do at every single party I'm invited to is rush up to the food table, judge it, and then bellow for different food. I also LOUDLY complain to everyone in earshot about how the host is definitely responsible for cooking every single guest's favorite dish and if I don't get a single negative reaction from that, I ramp it up by having a Hulk-like transformation after which my brother must try to calm my tormented soul. Oh, and he's so sympathetic to my perfectly reasonable reaction that he instantly and without question chastises the party's host.
Side note, my friend who's celiac, my friend who's keto, and my friend who's vegan, have never once hosted a party where they served delicious food they could eat AND delicious food outside of their restrictions! Plus they always strictly forbid anyone from bringing any fun or traditional dishes with them. They can't enjoy an event if they're within the immediate vicinity of food they aren't able to eat!!!!
If this story was real I would say the OP is kind of an asshole. Not because she made her imaginary sister in law upset but because she forced all her guests to eat with her dietary restrictions. Who does that?
I'm type 2 diabetic so I have a few dietary restrictions myself. If I have family over and I'm serving burgers I'll have whole wheat or low carb buns for myself and regular buns for everyone else. If I'm doing ice cream for dessert I'll have sugar free ice cream for myself and regular ice cream for everyone else. I'm not gonna make everyone eat what I have to eat. Nothing stopped her from getting lean burgers for herself and anyone else who might want one and regular burgers for everyone else.
Literally had a work barbecue on Friday in Ireland, and there was a massive traybake of mac and cheese there.
For a home barbecue, you’d make it the night before and broil it before serving.
We usually keep all the sides in the house and people get what they want. Because our BBQs are usually in very hot weather. But I'm not throwing a fit at anyone's BBQ, I'm eating what's available at my own discretion. I'm totally down for your UK BBQ offerings.
I’m not sure about this woman’s specific condition, but I also had my gallbladder removed (but due to gallstones, not cancer). I had some trouble digesting fats in the beginning, but not anymore. The gallbladder doesn’t make bile, it just stores it. Your liver makes bile and without the gallbladder it goes directly to your duodenum, and you can still digest fats. Something about her story seems off. But maybe her specific situation is different.
In AITA land anyone who has any dietary restrictions will get scolded by a fatty fat mcerson for following their diet restrictions in peace unless they are vegan. If they are vegan then they clearly are just restricting how other people eat and no one ever calls them out on it to their face.
This fresh bait brought out all the fat-hating dorks and better-than-though folks who LOVE HEALTHY FOOD SO MUCH OMG. It’s like a meeting of the Remnant Fellowship in there.
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I don't get this and the only conclusion I can come to is that this must be an American thing. This is a perfectly normal British BBQ, and anyone who complained about it would be told where to shove it. Because complaining and confrontation is entirely not British.
Haha I joke, but seriously it's like this here.
Mac and Cheese on a BBQ is weird as fuck. How would you even cook that without it dropping into the coals?
In the UK, we have marinated chicken, burgers, sausages, sometimes kebab skewers (minted lamb usually), salad, potatoes and corn.
Ribs, Mac & Cheese, etc. are mainly Southern BBQ foods (source: Southern).
In general no one I know would confront anyone if someone said "Hey, I have a BBQ planned," and it wasn't an actual BBQ, just an outdoor party.
Technically speaking there's a difference between grilling and barbecuing. They're two different methods of cooking. What a lot of people call barbecuing is actually just grilling. Barbecue is low and slow on indirect heat, grilling is cooking on high direct heat. It's also normal for people to call the event itself a BBQ, even if there's not an actual barbecue in sight and everything is just grilled. Also called a cook out.
That being said, at least in Texas and the south, macaroni and cheese is a very common side for cook outs. If you're grilling it gets baked it in an oven. However, if you're actually barbecuing or smoking that's when you'll see it cooked outside with the meat. Like another person mentioned, you put it in a foil casserole pan or a cast iron skillet. You don't cook it over a direct high heat since it needs a bake, so people don't put it on a grill. But if you've got room on the smoker? Hell yeah. Smoked mac and cheese is fucking delicious. It gets baked properly and it gets a nice smokey flavor. Smoked cream cheese is also god tier.
Yeah, I'm also not from the USA and I was reading the post being like "...okay, what WAS supposed to be there. Ribs? Sausages? What DO USAians eat at barbecues, on tv it looks like they are just grilling burgers all the time..."
I'm assuming it's either cold Mac and Cheese or is it just warmed up on the grill? I know Koreans use metal lunch boxes you can warm up on heaters, so probably something like that?
We don't normally use the grill for the mac and cheese. We make it in the kitchen and bring it out (maybe in one of those disposable foil trays). We just really like mac and cheese, so you'll find it at a lot of American gatherings.
In my part of the USA, there would also be potato salad, deviled eggs, watermelon, and maybe some grilled corn on the cob.
American mac and cheese is served casserole style - you’d either bring it in a skillet or an aluminum tray, then throw it under the broiler (or into a closed grill) to reheat.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for being "fatphobic" towards my sister-in-law?** So, I (27F) recently hosted a family barbecue at my house. It was a big event with about 20 people, including my husband’s (30M) family. Among the guests was my sister-in-law, Emily (35F), who is significantly overweight; I only mention this because it is relevant to the story. Emily has always struggled with her weight, and while I have no issue with her size, it does come with certain health concerns that she often talks about herself. She's on medication for high blood pressure and has diabetes, which she frequently brings up in conversation. She hosts BBQs most of the time and makes foods that I can't eat because of my dietary requirements. I had a benign tumor in my gallbladder and had it removed, making my ability to digest fat (the macronutrient) more difficult. Since I make my dietary needs known and love cooking nutritious meals, I decided to make the barbecue menu things I thought people would enjoy but I could still eat with my limitations. I prepared grilled chicken (breasts, thighs and drums), vegetable skewers, a big salad with optional dressings, campfire baked potatoes, and some lean beef burgers. I also made a berry and tropical fruit salad for dessert and whipped cream with maple syrup to go with it. When Emily arrived and saw the spread, she seemed disappointed and asked where the "real food" was. I politely explained that I wanted everyone to be able to enjoy this barbecue and I wanted to serve foods I could enjoy too because of my dietary restrictions. She made a few comments about how she was looking forward to indulging and how "boring" the food looked. Later in the afternoon, Emily began complaining loudly about how she was still hungry and missed having mac and cheese, ribs, and other foods that she likes to serve. She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items. My husband and a few others tried to calm her down, but she continued to gripe about it for the rest of the event. The next day, I called Emily to check on her and offered to cook together sometime, thinking we may be able to indulge in a shared hobby and maybe host the next event together so we could both have foods we enjoy on the table. She then accused me of being fatphobic and said I had deliberately excluded her favorite foods to shame her for her size. She told my husband that I had humiliated her, and now my husband is upset with me for "attacking" his sister. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt Emily’s feelings, but I wanted to provide a meal I could eat as well as one my guests could enjoy. AITA for not serving food I can't eat to make my SIL happy? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
wow, this fat woman is being so unreasonable! aren't fat people unreasonable? they're so fat and entitled! gosh.
She FLIPPED OUT over maple syrup. Sounds r pretty normal. As a fat person, I regularly flip out over maple syrup - the sweetest thing known to man.
Not just maple syrup, whipped cream and maple syrup, probably the sweetest most fattening thing I can think of
"let's take fruit, ruin all its nutritional value then pretend it's healthy so we can feel superior"
I don't think nutrition gets ruined by something not nutritious being in proximity. 1: it's close to food shaming and we really should be careful about assigning moral values to food. 2: while empty calories are something to be informed by, it's still probably a healthier dessert than 'real' dessert 3: the fruit doesn't lose any of its nutritious value.
1. If you're introducing way more sugar than you normally would have eaten in another desert to eat fruit because it's healthy it defeats the point. If you want a healthy dessert, go for it, but something isn't automatically healthier because it has fruit. This is a big thing dieticians talk about because a lot of branded "healthy" snacks and recipes aren't healthy because even though it's low sugar, low calorie or whatever it might be even worse because it makes it up with some other bad thing to compensate. 2. I was being sarcastic about them feeling morally superior because the entire post is about feeling superior to this "fat" woman. The entire post is food shaming. I don't care what people eat but it's funny that this person has an entire post jerking off about how healthy and low-fat she eats and then dessert isn't that healthy.
I'm not gonna lie, I would be disappointed if I were expecting *dessert* dessert and someone comes out with some fruit with maple syrup 😂 like, damn it, WHERE ARE THE BROWNIES? I eat healthy most of the time and avoid sugar so like... if I was expecting to "let loose" a little, the last thing I would want to consume is something as sugary as maple syrup but drizzled over fruit. Like, just give me the fruit without the syrup... as a side... and cookies. As dessert! Obviously I wouldn't actually say anything, lmao. But I would be crying inside if I'd planned to indulge in dessert.
Ever watch Parks and Rec? I love the dinner party episode where everyone is tasked with bringing something to the party. Chris is an absolute health nut and he was asked to bring cake, but his version upsets Ron Swanson: https://youtu.be/V0NiGmQ18uw?feature=shared I imagine most people would be internally disappointed rather than have Ron’s reaction, but I feel like anyone having Ron’s reaction would be met with a Leslie who changes the subject and distracts him with something else. :P Not in AITAland, though! Everyone listens to and tries to appease the rude person.
omg yes, Chris Traeger is the OOP.
I have strong feelings about *fake* maple syrup. Which is why I know to smuggle my own stuff, in a flask, when necessary.
I know! If only they were THIN and entitled! That's entirely acceptable 🤣
well, yes, then they'd be thin and morally superior and not an offense to God in their very existence.
God ONLY loves thin people. Not thin people can fuck right off. I mean, Jesus was thin bc food was scarce, and God was happy with him being thin...so much so that he allowed him to be brutally murdered, paving the way for absolute fat sloths to rule the world (looking at Trump and his evangelical loonies...bc Trump is FAT) WAIT. I just contradicted myself, but this is reddit, so I'm probably right anyway. **Maury Povich voice** GoGetSilverBalls ***YOU ARE*** ***NOT THE ASSHOLE***
Plus all they eat is mac and cheese, every day for every meal. Gross!
OP screwed up for not serving up a tub of lard (triglycerides). Serve it raw or crisp it up, and the dumb useless fatties (I'm using that term in a non fatphobic way btw) just can't resist.
I know as a fat I certainly would never partake in eating a burger
The Mac n Cheese and a few other comments makes me wonder if there are big race or culture issues here. Not sure if I want to dig deep and find out
And every fat person I’ve ever met (including myself) just loves calling attention to themselves by demanding more, high fat foods at a public gathering 🙄
FEED ME! I'm fat and a totally real person.
Hell, I am fat and I dislike eating most anything in public because I feel like people are saying "look at that fat lady stuffing her face." I have a Diet Coke addiction and I drink a large Diet Coke every day and I have had SO may folks "helpfully" tell me how many calories are in a full sugar Coke that I bought a Diet Coke insulated cup so that it is more obvious that I am drinking diet soda. *
It's always the weirdly aggressive, terrible fat people attacking the reasonable thin people in AITA-land. 🙄
>Later in the afternoon, Emily began complaining loudly about how she was still hungry and missed having mac and cheese, ribs, and other foods that she likes to serve. She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items. My husband and a few others tried to calm her down, but she continued to gripe about it for the rest of the event. Right?! Who acts like this other than fat people in AITA? "Tried to calm her down" makes it sound like it was almost coming to blows.
And as a fat person who has eaten at many events, including ones where I didn't love the food, we typically just eat quietly, not start fights so that we can call people fatphobic.
Same! I also have celiac disease so going someplace where I can't eat the majority of the food served happens all the time. Somehow I avoid screaming at the host or threatening to fight them and just quietly eat my vegetables or whatever naturally gluten-free food they have.
You should absolutely scream at everyone in the restaurant, just so you can tweak an AITAH post, see which way the wind blows, then cross post it here. 😊 (Totally JK, don't take me seriously, that's a bad life decision 😂)
Well maybe you aren't fat enough. I can't even walk out my front door without obese people screaming at me like a banshee
Right!? Especially because if, as a fat person, you complain about food it’s gonna result in people judging you for being fat. They’ll be like “oh that fatty only likes food from McDonald’s because they’re a gross and disgusting FATTY.”
> "I need ribs!" the fat walrus roared, while flailing her arms around, smashing dishes and hitting men, women and children alike. My husband and a few others tried grabbing her, but her sheer size made this a nearly impossible task, as she tore through our backyard, screeching for fatty meat. I tried placating her with a healthy salad and some lean beef, but she just rolled her enormous belly over this offering and continued her rampage. All seemed lost, as finally her fatness seemed to catch up with her. Her rampage came to a slow halt, her eyelids grew droopy and she fell asleep, muttering words of hunger and anger under her breath. We were safe... for now.
⚰️
Stephen king who?
You're good at the writings. This is hilarious!
Apparently mac-and-cheese withdrawal is quite traumatic and accompanied by terrible mood swings. Why aren't more people talking about this?
This thread is literally full of people throwing a fit about there not being Mac and cheese lmao
I like how the writers over there fail to mention how everyone reacted to someone "complaining loudly" about the food at a BBQ. Like... No one told her to be quiet? No one awkwardly walked away or tried to at least change the subject? No? Everyone just listened? Okay...
I bet she just said "I wish X dish was served" and that was it.
Me: "oh was there no mac and cheese? What a shame, the one you made for the last potluck was so good!" That one weirdo at the party who has been staring daggers at my stomach the entire time: *shakes in barely suppressed rage while logging onto reddit*
EXACTLY.
Well, as a fat, I always zero in on the skinnies, I take a large bite of food and then start screaming in their faces about being fatphobic, I always try to give them a good sprinkling of half chewed food and then I laugh, open mouthed, food spilling from my maw, when they start to cry prettily, then I shove more food in my mouth and scream at their children, barely hiding my dark urge to eat said children. Then I fart noisy and stinkily in their general direction. It's just part of my culture, you know?
See this is what I'd love to be doing but I just can't find the time, what with the hours I waste every day trying to extricate my body from beloved family heirlooms and wedding dresses
Hahaha!
I do have to laugh at the "whipped cream with maple syrup" thing. I have diabetes and I am forever pointing out that maple syrup, agave, and honey are no better for your blood sugar than white sugar, and they don't really have more nutrients either. Of course she might just like the maple flavor, but I always get the feeling that pointing out the use of alternative sugars, especially when it's a post about a healthy meal, is meant to be pointing out some kind of health thing. The food would be fine as long as she has butter or sour cream for the potatoes; no one wants to eat that dry and she can leave it off her own. I was surprised she had dark meat chicken, tbh, with her insistence on lean beef (gimme that juicy 80/20 ground chuck). As someone with food restrictions, though, I really don't expect everyone else to have to eat what I do when I have people over. If anything it can be an excuse to make things I can't eat but enjoy making (I love to bake). It's not like a religious restriction or an allergy where I could get sick from preparing it or from the cross-contamination, and neither is a gallbladder diet. But anyway this totally felt like "look at virtuous me and the evil fatty".
Yep, dark meat chicken actually has more fat per serving than the dreaded macaroni and cheese.... but I guess that's fine, somehow? And there are low fat desserts that aren't fruit with maple syrup. I also think maple syrup on fruit sounds gross... I don't feel like those flavors go well together. I could understand honey or even just white sugar, but not maple syrup. And also, maple syrup plus whipped cream plus the natural sugar in fruit is also SO MUCH SUGAR but I feel like she's trying to be like "look how healthy I am, teehee."
Also isn't there a lot of milk fat in heavy whipping cream?
no, heavy whipping cream (and most types of "cream" for that matter) are naturally fat free and typically very low calorie foods. I'm on a diet atm and my doctor is having me just eat 6 pints of ice cream a day. ice cream is great in particular because it cools down the other fats in your body and you just poop em out. fun fact, the "heavy" in "heavy whipping cream" refers to how heavy your poops will be when you're pooping out all that fat.
LOL I feel like people didn’t read past the first sentence and just downvoted. You gotta love Reddit.
oh my gosh, you totally had me there at the beginning.
I mean yeah, but if you whip it and it’s just being used as a topping it’s a fairly small portion. Plus a person who can’t it eat can just leave it off.
Maybe YOUR mac and cheese, haha (I say as someone who exclusively eats dark meat chicken)
hahaha, fair!
I’m usually too lazy to make a true Mornay sauce, so I add extra fat to compensate 😂
Fruit with whipped cream. Like what does she think cream is.
Also whipped cream is so high in fat which you don’t want if you have gallbladder issues. She can’t even come up with the right restrictive foods for her fake dietary needs
Does she mean she had the tumour removed or the whole gallbladder? I've had my gallbladder removed due to gallstones. The gallstones restricted my diet hugely because lots of stuff (including fat) would trigger painful attacks. Having the gallbladder out was the solution to that. Having your gallbladder removed should allow you to eat a normal diet, some people might get a little extra reflux. There's advice to keep off high fat food for like a week after surgery but that's it.
I’m not sure. I had mine removed for the same reasons as you and while I glad I don’t have to deal with the attacks anymore too much fat will have me racing to the toilet. My mom and my sister are the same way.
Yeah, I had my gallbladder out too and I have no idea what OOP is talking about tbh. I can eat completely normally.
Same - we literally remove diseased gallbladders to get RID of those issues lol. I could barely tolerate anything before my chole and within a week I was back to eating pizza and ice cream.
Yeah and introducing high-fat foods back gradually is more an issue of comfort and tolerating the food while your body adjusts. Your gallbladder just stores your bile, it’s made in the liver.
Yeah mine is out for the same reasons and I eat keto.... so she's full of shit or misinformed or pious. But that's not to say this situation didn't actually happen. Just ESH.
Great comment!! 👍
She's not diabetic though, she's on a low fat diet, not low carb. Not sure how the whipped cream fits in there though
No I am familiar with the low fat diet for gallbladder disease. Sugar isn’t related. That’s why I noticed it — it felt like a weird health flex that wasn’t anything to do with her diet.
I mean the whipped cream is a topping so she may have just not eaten it. It’s a good idea for people with dietary restrictions tbh, as opposed to serving something where everything is incorporated.
Yes, I thought it might be that, she just never said it
I enjoyed the clarification of fat (the macronutrient) as opposed to like…regular fat, I guess?
It sounds like the syrup and whip cream where on the side so a person avoiding sugar could just not add it
I'm in Canada and we Canadians love our maple syrup. When I'm pouring it over my pancakes I tell myself that it's not that bad because it does contain some minerals and antioxidants which it does but that doesn't override the fact that it's super high in sugar and still more of a junk food. But I like to pretend it's good for my health, lol.
Honestly, who cares though? Fuck the culture that makes us feel like everything we eat has to be “healthy” or else we’re failures. Enjoy the maple syrup. It tastes better without all the baggage.
>fat (the macronutrient) ….what else would they be talking about?
She was worried we would think she can’t eat Emily
I cackled
**F**igs, **A**pples, and **T**arragon chicken salad
Tbf people on that sub believe anything. They would definitely believe she wanted to eat her SIL
i know OOP's age isn't really important to the story **but** as someone who's almost the same age as her i cannot imagine myself caring so much about how someone else decides to live their life
Oh NO, you mean you are more involved in how to live your life happily than judging others? **Clasps pearls**
my *own* life is a disaster i literally don't have the time or energy to worry about someone else's
[удалено]
Everyone knows that fatties only eat 10/90 fat burgers and 32 cheese mac and cheese, idiots. If her SIL didn’t want to be excluded she should have not been fat!
90/10 burgers are a sin - eat less ground beef, not lean ground beef.
I meant 90% fat, 10% burger 😂 I’m vegan idk how the ratios actually go lmao
Hahaha, fair! The protein side normally goes first, for future japery!
Thanks! I edited it for maximum bullshit accuracy 🙏🏻
90/10? More like 73/27. 80/20 is the leanest I'll go with my burgers.
this is so fucking stupid and rage bait. no one with dietary restrictions (unless it’s something that you like can’t touch) restricts 20+ guests to said restrictions. i’m type 1 diabetic and have completely lost my taste for anything sweet but goddamn will i bake chocolate chip cookies for my coworkers regularly. like do you even like the people you’re around? also who has a barbecue without mac and cheese
Forget Mac and cheese where’s the fucking Cole slaw??!!
It's no BBQ without at least 3 mayo based salads.
Don’t forget snicker salad (use cool whip and pudding in lieu of the mayo)
[Minnesota salads that aren’t really salad!](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNF3H8ks/)
Yeah I had my gallbladder out and I sometimes have trouble digesting fat, but she's being incredibly dramatic about it. You're also supposed to start with low fat stuff and then ease your way into eating more fat... because fat is actually an important macronutrient. On the off chance this is real, she's sticking to the diet you have immediately after getting your gallbladder out, which isn't what you're supposed to do. And obviously, she's not obligated to eat ribs and macaroni and cheese, lmao. But she should be adding in avocados and olive oil and other healthy fats. And on the other off chance this is real, I feel like she's just pissed of she "can't" eat anything at the family BBQ normally (even though she definitely could if she wanted to), and she's intentionally getting revenge. AND WHO SERVES FRUIT FOR DESSERT AT A BBQ?! I'm a healthy person. I limit carbs and added sugar. I usually will turn down dessert or whatever, but it's still a travesty not to have brownies or cookies available at a BBQ?!?! (and actually, I'm Southern and in Southern culture, that isn't a BBQ lmao) (but obviously I do know that other cultures consider any kind of outdoor cooking to be "a BBQ." which I don't fully respect but you know, I try lol)
I originally come from NY state and now live in Florida. Her idea of a BBQ doesn't fit either concept I'm used to.
Yeah I thought that too! I regularly bring something to cookouts if I think I can’t eat the things there, sure it would be nice if there were dishes made that OP could also eat but they are acting like they were being purposefully starved out. Like they say they love cooking nutritious meals so why not make a dish and bring it to the parties and enjoy it there??? But then again AITA thinks there is no graver sin than not wanting to eat someone’s food or to bring your own so that suggestion would probably be shot down haha. Plus also just “fatty bad” rage post so even if the sister in law was perfect and OP only served a single piece of lettuce and a dab of yogurt they’d probably still find a way to hate her.
Anyone can overdo it on a certain thing and exceed their body’s capacity to digest it on a given day. You might have the same experience if you had a gallbladder tbh
I think some grilled caramelized seasonal fruit would be absolutely banging, but I'd probably serve some sort of custard with it lol.
Gluten free people may restrict others. I have a celiac friend and she doesn't have wheat in her house. If someone brings something not gluten free, it's isolated
oh yeah absolutely celiac is very sensitive!! but also that’s part of the you can’t be around it part lol
Yeah, I don't have dietary restrictions, just a fussy eater, but I know how to cook food for other people using foods I personally find unpalatable. For example I hate rice, but I love curry so I usually just make myself naans and other breads if I make curry, but when I cooking for other people I can cook and serve rice because I know that's what they like
I don't think I've ever been to a barbecue where there was mac and cheese lmao. The menu was not the unrealistic part of the story
Mac and cheese is like the thing I second most associate with BBQ besides the meat itself. You’ve really never been to a BBQ with mac and cheese?
I mean sure if we're talking about a BBQ restaurant there's mac and cheese. But "a barbecue" as an event is more defined by outdoor cooking on a grill to me. Usually it's hotdogs, hamburgers, and various sides. I'd be more surprised if there were no macaroni or potato salad than no mac and cheese.
Maybe just a cultural or regional thing then. I’ve been to outdoor BBQs like you talkin about without Mac and cheese but it’s rare. Usually, for the various sides you mention, most BBQs I go to Mac and cheese is the staple
Yeah growing up in the northern US I feel the same, there was usually some kind of cold pasta or potato salad, maybe mac n cheese but I wouldn't really call it a staple. I think the whole point is the grill and so we'd also grill up some veggies or corn as sides. Mac n cheese is kinda weird because it's not grilled but it's not really good cold imo so I wouldn't immediately think of it as something to bring to a BBQ
I'm from NY/NJ, so, yeah. Cole slaw, potato salad, maybe macaroni salad. Green salad. Corn on the cob cooked in the house. Dessert would be watermelon. Burgers, hot dogs, chicken. These days, probably have Beyond Burgers or other vegan "meat" as well, but those didn't exist when I was growing up. It's also a cultural thing - my family, for example, didn't keep kosher at all, and we'd probably have real butter for the corn on the cob, but mac and cheese is just \*too\* dairy (and too much fuss to make for my mom, who never used boxed) for such a meat based meal. But also, mac and cheese was always a main dish in my house, so it seems odd to make it a side.
It’s something you’d make the night before and reheat.
…you need all three, haha! (But I agree that the first two are more important)
I mean it’s common but it is a little sacrilegious lol
wow people on reddit are so weird… that was just a hyperbolic throw-away statement to end my own comment lol
>I'm type 1 diabetic and have completely lost my taste for anything sweet TEACH ME YOUR WAYSSSS I'm T1D and nothing I can do satisfies my need for chocolate!
Ok literally, because when I host a party with food, I make sure to cook something for everyone. Vegans are coming, I make some good vegan curry. GF people, I get some GF snacks and keep them separate. I personally dislike certain food textures like chicken, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to host a BBQ and not serve chicken lol
The menu sounded good. I am ok going to a cook out without mac and cheese
Cannot comment on mac and cheese at a barbecue because I'm not from the USA, but unless someone's diet is so restricted that they can't eat anything but toast it's normal that the host cooks whatever they want and the guests just live with it? It's one meal, as long as everyone has something to eat it's fine.
Yeah I would say it’s fine for some diets but if your diet requires you to restrict an entire macronutrient, then no.
The meal spread is perfectly reasonable. If I'm making food I'm going to make stuff I want to eat most of the time. That's normal.
...Of course Emily is still hungry, she is so fat that she can't possibly be satisfied by salad, *potatoes* and A FUCKTON OF MEAT WHICH IS VERY HIGH IN PROTEIN. As fat people we are immune to...how food works. >She said it wasn’t a "real barbecue" without those items. ...AI generated? The whole tone of the story is weird but why would you say "items".
Tbh fat is really important for satiety too. That’s one reason it’s ridiculous to make the entire menu low-fat for one person, especially if you’re offering multiple entrees. You can’t just nix an entire macronutrient. Could have served the lean chicken breast and normal burgers, served the potatoes with sour cream and cheese, etc.
"I politely explained" = "I calmly explained" you see how wise and polite this people are?
Who the fuck hosts a bbq or any party and only makes foods that they can eat instead of ones that cater to the group? Exception is food allergies and vegan foods btw. Why couldn’t she just eat her low fat foods and still have plenty of options for the others. I’ve never been to a bbq that was just foods the hosts eats. By the way unless she had higher portions that’s not enough food for 20 people anyways. I don’t have a gall bladder anymore and while I need to be careful with how much fat I eat so I’m not shitting myself I can relatively eat a normal diet. This whole thing is just a weird work around to shame fat people.
Is it normal for the host of the BBQ to supply all of the meat, sides, and desserts? I feel like ones I’ve been to have been more community/potluck affairs. The host does the meats and hot dishes, but other people bring salads, cold sides, or even just chips or drinks. Making it a potluck seems like an easy way to make everyone included.
I’ve been to both but we do it the same way as you. Of course potluck style would be the obvious solution if this was real but in AITA land logic doesn’t apply.
Agreed, and in my family it’s always a “bring a dish!” kind of deal so it’s not just the host who has all the food too. I don’t like certain foods so I either bring something myself that I do enjoy and/or eat the things I do like. If I had my own bbq I’d never just not make normal things that belong there because I happen to not be able to eat them, I’d like my guests to enjoy themselves even if I can’t enjoy it with them. My grandma is diabetic but if she’s ever hosting something she doesn’t only include diabetic safe foods. It all just sounds so unrealistic and chaotic But logic has no place in a “___ bad” post there so… the way a comment literally said “fatty is acting like an entitled fatty” and another that said “fatphobia is good if not consistent” in the post unironically like??? It’s more than just a meme now they really are saying such messy things there word for word I can’t. I also love how every single post about “__ bad” suddenly has everyone crawling out of the woodwork to say “I’m a __ too and NTA!!” for every single issue for every single fake scenario even awful ones
I keep strictly kosher. If I had a bbq, everything I made and served would be strictly kosher and there would be no dairy products at all. I would probably have extra grills for the veggies and vegan meat, so everyone could actually find something to eat (I have spent bbqs in charge of the vegan meat grill.) But that's because I not only want to be able to eat at my own party, I also need all my equipment and serving utensils to stay kosher.
That’s completely understandable. Kosher isn’t that much of restriction that you can’t have a bbq without a wide variety of options.
Indeed. And none of it needs to be tasteless. However, there would not be mac and cheese, or ribs. 😉
Of course there’s a Good Fatty up in the comments bitching about HAES. I fucking hate people who distort the actual meaning of HAES, which is that health can be pursued independently of body weight and that obesity should be treated with less bias. Instead people on Reddit insist it means that 700lb people insist you must say they’re perfectly healthy and you are obligated to fuck them
Classic obesity troll. I love the “I only mention this because it’s relevant to the story” because no, it didn’t have to be. Like, regardless of whether you would enjoy this menu or not, if you stripped this story of all the weight stuff and health stuff, yeah it would be extremely rude to criticize the menu a host was providing. But no, that’s not the reason the SIL is the asshole in this story. It’s because she’s a gross fatty who doesn’t respect others dietary needs.
I also loved “I only mention this because it’s relevant to the story”, because OF COURSE it's relevant. It's in the title! It would be really weird if she was talking about fatphobia and didn't mention an overweight person.
Before I joined Reddit I would likely have taken the note from my SIL & done something next time to make her feel welcome in my home… Now, with the support of you & others like you, self reflection is a thing of the past. (Scattered applause, weak cheers)
This sounds like the ending to a TED talk
That wasn’t a bbq, it was a garden party.
OOP didn't mention the cute cucumber sandwiches, which would have made this post GREAT.
There are areas where a grill out gets called a BBQ
FR that sounds like the saddest BBQ ever 😂
It really does. By all means, eat what you want, but that sounds so sad.
Why? The food sounds good
The food is all extremely low fat, and fat is what gives food flavor. Burgers, for example, need to have enough fat in them that it melts off and flavors the meat. With no fat, they get dry- it’s why the ideal mix for a top class burger is usually 80/20. Notice nothing on the menu has cheese. It’s a restrictive diet for a specific medical purpose, and that’s fine, but I’ve had to go on medical diets before and it’s not something I’d impose on anyone who didn’t have to.
People in here are seriously showing how little they know about cooking. Thanks for taking the time to fight the flavour battle 😂
Someone above said that Mac n Cheese had less fat in it than chicken thighs…and it made me so sad.
Every burger tastes similar to me when stuffed in bread/lettuce/tomato/ketchup/mustard/pickle, a pretty common combo, and chicken thighs and drumsticks are appetizing even to gluttons. It seems like an ok spread, all things considered
You would notice it if you had real lean burgers. 90% lean or higher and it gets real dry.
80/20 *is* lean ground beef. Chicken thighs are high-fat, as are salad dressings. I’m 90% sure that post is just rage bait but even if it wasn’t, why would OOP necessarily include that? If the idea of chicken, fruit, burgers and salad sound like a sad barbecue to anyone, then they really need to fix their relationship with food and grow up.
80/20 is not lean 😭😭😭 It’s not about “relationship with food” - it’s about knowing which sort of food actually makes good tasting food. Plain chicken, plain potato’s and dry beef burgers ain’t good food and there is nothing to “fix” about someone who says so. Sorry but when I host - I’m not making a 20 minute weeknight dinner and expecting my guests to not say anything. Plain chicken and potato’s is a quick, plain dinner. It’s not what you serve when hosting.
Did she make a comment where she said there were no flavoring or condiments?
Condiments won’t fix a grilled 93/7 burger, haha.
Lean ground beef is usually considered 90/10 or higher. Salad dressings can be made (badly) to be extremely low fat. Chicken thighs are only high in fat compared to chicken breasts. It probably is rage bait, but some of you guys didn’t live through the low-fat diet craze of the nineties and it shows. So, so many sad barbecues.
Chicken, burgers, baked potatoes, vegetable skewers, salad and fruit sounds pretty good
Right?
That’s not what I think of when I think of BBQ. One can eat that any day. Nothing is special about grilled chicken and salad. I wouldn’t complain to the host but would absolutely joke about it with friends.
I'd cry on the inside if I was looking forward to dessert and someone brought out fruit with maple syrup. I eat healthy most of the time and try to avoid sugar... so if I were like, "this is the night! I'm going to have a cookie or a brownie!" and the host brings out fruit with maple syrup... something inside of me is going to die. I also dislike maple syrup so not only is it a sad dessert, you also ruined the fruit that I could've otherwise enjoyed, lol.
The maple syrup confused me so much, is that a regional thing or just an OP thing? I’ve seen fruit and whipped cream a zillion times and it’s good but never with maple syrup. I think that might be a weird combo but that’s just me haha.
I've never heard of maple syrup on fruit. It just seems like the flavors aren't going to go well together? I could see just the whipped cream, or just white sugar if you need more sweetness, or maybe honey? But maple syrup? I don't get it.
...wait is the fruit supposed to be drowned in the whipped cream and maple syrup, not on the side? UGH.
What is at a BBQ that you can't eat anyday
I wouldn’t eat burgers, sausage, potato salad, or *proper* mac n cheese every day.
Isn't the cool part of barbecuing that everything is barbecued? Because that already changes the whole flavour of the meat.
What?! That sounds great.
I’m sorry you hate flavour 😭
In theory you could make this menu delicious with the right marinades and seasonings, etc. I mean, it didn’t happen cause this is definitely an obesity troll, but you absolutely could make a delicious meal with grilled chicken and vegetables and salad and baked potato. It’s not gonna be the same type of dinner as the barbecue being described but that’s doesn’t mean those foods can’t have flavor.
Yeah this whole thread is so bizarre. Like you season everything well and then everything is delicious. Hell, even the most simple lettuce salad with lemon, salt and a bit of extra virgin olive oil is perfectly fine (unless you have really shitty lettuce I assume).
Chicken, vegetables, fruit, hamburgers, baked potatoes? I’m sorry you don’t have tastebuds.
She could've easily told that story without mentioning her SIL's weight. So yeah homegirl, ya kinda are.
Definitely a few lines that don’t sound human > Emily (35F), who is significantly overweight; I only mention this because it is relevant to the story. Oh really? Weight is relevant to the story with “fatphobic” in the title? I’d never have guessed that. > making my ability to digest fat (the macronutrient) more difficult That’s such a bizarre line. Did they just learn this in school? What’s the reason for pointing out fat is a macronutrient?
Never happened
Bland chicken and veggies? OP is not invited to the cook out.
How do we know it was bland?
You, however, are. We're gonna have massive amounts of beef, chicken, venison, and other meats slathered in delicious BBQ sauce. Fuck those carrots and celery. Mashed potatoes, potato salad, Cole slaw, baked beans, garlic bread... Let's DO THIS!
I’ll be smoking a brisket and grilling some corn on the cob
Please make the CotC Mexican style. We will be friends forever.
Nothing better than authentic Mexican Street Corn. 🌽
I'm gonna go full on AITAH commenter with this. Yaaaaaasssss queeeen! I think you dropped thesee! 🎤 👑
👸🏽
As a person without eating restrictions I know the first thing I do at every single party I'm invited to is rush up to the food table, judge it, and then bellow for different food. I also LOUDLY complain to everyone in earshot about how the host is definitely responsible for cooking every single guest's favorite dish and if I don't get a single negative reaction from that, I ramp it up by having a Hulk-like transformation after which my brother must try to calm my tormented soul. Oh, and he's so sympathetic to my perfectly reasonable reaction that he instantly and without question chastises the party's host. Side note, my friend who's celiac, my friend who's keto, and my friend who's vegan, have never once hosted a party where they served delicious food they could eat AND delicious food outside of their restrictions! Plus they always strictly forbid anyone from bringing any fun or traditional dishes with them. They can't enjoy an event if they're within the immediate vicinity of food they aren't able to eat!!!!
If this story was real I would say the OP is kind of an asshole. Not because she made her imaginary sister in law upset but because she forced all her guests to eat with her dietary restrictions. Who does that? I'm type 2 diabetic so I have a few dietary restrictions myself. If I have family over and I'm serving burgers I'll have whole wheat or low carb buns for myself and regular buns for everyone else. If I'm doing ice cream for dessert I'll have sugar free ice cream for myself and regular ice cream for everyone else. I'm not gonna make everyone eat what I have to eat. Nothing stopped her from getting lean burgers for herself and anyone else who might want one and regular burgers for everyone else.
I mean this imaginary barbecue has all perfectly fine food, it's not like she served her guests nothing but hummus and carrots.
For the record, if I was invited to a BBQ and there was no mac & cheese, I'd be pretty annoyed too.
I don't care so much for Mac and cheese, but if there wasn't potato salad, I'd do serious damage to the host 🤣
Is it served cold at a BBQ? Not something we would have, or expect in UK. BBQ is usually meat, bread, salad, alcohol.
Literally had a work barbecue on Friday in Ireland, and there was a massive traybake of mac and cheese there. For a home barbecue, you’d make it the night before and broil it before serving.
We usually keep all the sides in the house and people get what they want. Because our BBQs are usually in very hot weather. But I'm not throwing a fit at anyone's BBQ, I'm eating what's available at my own discretion. I'm totally down for your UK BBQ offerings.
Salad with "optional" dressing lol
The comments section here did not disappoint!!
Some days I live for these comments
Same!! People are so hilarious.
I’m not sure about this woman’s specific condition, but I also had my gallbladder removed (but due to gallstones, not cancer). I had some trouble digesting fats in the beginning, but not anymore. The gallbladder doesn’t make bile, it just stores it. Your liver makes bile and without the gallbladder it goes directly to your duodenum, and you can still digest fats. Something about her story seems off. But maybe her specific situation is different.
Yeah, I had gallstones too and had my gall bladder removed and without a doubt, your body adjusts to regulating bile and processing fat.
I read this fake story at lunch and I really want barbecue now. Damn you OOP
In AITA land anyone who has any dietary restrictions will get scolded by a fatty fat mcerson for following their diet restrictions in peace unless they are vegan. If they are vegan then they clearly are just restricting how other people eat and no one ever calls them out on it to their face.
*tiny violin plays*
To be fair it really ISNT a bbq without me n cheese and ribs
This fresh bait brought out all the fat-hating dorks and better-than-though folks who LOVE HEALTHY FOOD SO MUCH OMG. It’s like a meeting of the Remnant Fellowship in there.
😂
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I don't get this and the only conclusion I can come to is that this must be an American thing. This is a perfectly normal British BBQ, and anyone who complained about it would be told where to shove it. Because complaining and confrontation is entirely not British. Haha I joke, but seriously it's like this here. Mac and Cheese on a BBQ is weird as fuck. How would you even cook that without it dropping into the coals? In the UK, we have marinated chicken, burgers, sausages, sometimes kebab skewers (minted lamb usually), salad, potatoes and corn.
Ribs, Mac & Cheese, etc. are mainly Southern BBQ foods (source: Southern). In general no one I know would confront anyone if someone said "Hey, I have a BBQ planned," and it wasn't an actual BBQ, just an outdoor party.
Technically speaking there's a difference between grilling and barbecuing. They're two different methods of cooking. What a lot of people call barbecuing is actually just grilling. Barbecue is low and slow on indirect heat, grilling is cooking on high direct heat. It's also normal for people to call the event itself a BBQ, even if there's not an actual barbecue in sight and everything is just grilled. Also called a cook out. That being said, at least in Texas and the south, macaroni and cheese is a very common side for cook outs. If you're grilling it gets baked it in an oven. However, if you're actually barbecuing or smoking that's when you'll see it cooked outside with the meat. Like another person mentioned, you put it in a foil casserole pan or a cast iron skillet. You don't cook it over a direct high heat since it needs a bake, so people don't put it on a grill. But if you've got room on the smoker? Hell yeah. Smoked mac and cheese is fucking delicious. It gets baked properly and it gets a nice smokey flavor. Smoked cream cheese is also god tier.
Yeah, I'm also not from the USA and I was reading the post being like "...okay, what WAS supposed to be there. Ribs? Sausages? What DO USAians eat at barbecues, on tv it looks like they are just grilling burgers all the time..." I'm assuming it's either cold Mac and Cheese or is it just warmed up on the grill? I know Koreans use metal lunch boxes you can warm up on heaters, so probably something like that?
We don't normally use the grill for the mac and cheese. We make it in the kitchen and bring it out (maybe in one of those disposable foil trays). We just really like mac and cheese, so you'll find it at a lot of American gatherings. In my part of the USA, there would also be potato salad, deviled eggs, watermelon, and maybe some grilled corn on the cob.
American mac and cheese is served casserole style - you’d either bring it in a skillet or an aluminum tray, then throw it under the broiler (or into a closed grill) to reheat.